No browsers working anymore on VISTA
Thursday, November 12, 2015, 10:52 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 12
Thanks Joseph!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NY man for leading cops on a 100 mph chase
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 12, in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em,
then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our
earlier stages of development.
--- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was
discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her
seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge
pair of slacks.
"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was
185."
Her niece looked puzzled, then asked,
"How old are you now?"
______________________________________________________
For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at
long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask
her the most momentous of all questions.
"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,"
he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the
companionship of another being...a being who will regard
one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful
when times are hard; who will share one's joys and
sorrows..."
To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as
she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I
think it would be a great idea! That would make a huge
difference to your life and is just what you need.
Sure, I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for you."
______________________________________________________
Fast moon
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Indiana Z. Jones,
21,
Rushville,
N.Y.
NY Indiana Jones Leads Cops On 100 MPH Chase
A man named Indiana Z. Jones is accused of leading deputies
in Yates County, New York, on a chase that reached upwards of
100 mph, according to the Associated Press.
Authorities said the wild ride began Sunday evening when
Jones tried to evade a traffic stop in his hometown of
Rushville, according to MyTwinTiers.com.
The alleged "temple of zoom" lasted six minutes and reached
100 mph before deputies deployed stop sticks in Benton that
punctured the tires of Jones' 2002 Audi A6, according to the
Elmira Star Gazette.
Jones was charged with unlawfully fleeing a police officer,
reckless operation, speeding and having an unregistered,
uninsured and uninspected vehicle, according to UPI.com.
He was later released on $1.000 bond.
No attempt was made to reach Harrison Ford for comment.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Tom
Re: Browser not working on VISTA
Dear Webby,
I have an older HP computer running Vista, For the past two days,
I have been unable to access the internet, I've run CrapCleaner
and it shows that Firefox is running but nothing is showing on the
monitor. I can "force close" it on CCleaner but when I go to turn
it on, NOTHING !
Internet Explorer is on the machine but that doesn't work, either,
so I am hesitant to uninstall FireFox and then try to reinstall it.
I know it's an old computer and I am holding off buying a new one.
Until now it has been satisfactory for my needs.
Any suggestions????
I have a 3 Year old Toshiba laptop running Windows 7 which accesses
FireFox and the internet so I am not without Facebook but I do miss
a lot of my other programs.
Many thanks for any advice
tom
Dear Tom
Vista was never any good or very secure, but Microsoft still
supports it. Considering how many Million XP computers are
still working fine, the problem is not the choice of operating
systems, no matter what the computer peddlers tell you.
It seems your Vista computer is infected.
Run Malwarebytes.
http://webby.com/malwarebytes
Once your infection has been fixed, FireFox should work again.
You might have to update FireFox, but no need to uninstall it.
You might have to download Malwarebytes on the Toshiba and copy
it over to the HP via local network.
To see if you have Internet access, or a modem / cable problem,
click on START
type cmd and hit ENTER
in the DOS style screen that pops up,type
tracert webby.com
If you have a proper Internet connection, it will trace the
route from you to Webby.com.
You can, of course, also try any other domain, that you think
should be up and running.
If you don't get a trace route, check your cables.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
DearWebby
Ran Malwarebytes and it appears to have done the "trick'.
FireFox is up and running as are all my other internet programs.
Seems like there were problems in the registry which were
corrected by Malwarebytes.
Many thanks for your advice.
Hope all is well with you physically, Obviously, mentally you
are still functioning at the top of your game.
tom :-)
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -
I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't clean up your act,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me about JUSTICE -
"One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will
turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Sharpie from Faux Leather
I was able to remove Sharpie permanent marker from faux
leather using WD-40. It came off super easy and didn't
damage the finish. Good luck.
By HARISN9000 [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English
teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in
both ears and out the other."
"Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled
teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy."
"Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
___________________________________________________
 | Graphics - making of a TV series |
____________________________________________________
Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her:
"How much is a ticket?"
Jill said, "Nine dollars."
She said, "How much for children?"
Jill said, "Same price, nine dollars."
She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children."
Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and
you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."
____________________________________________________
While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man,
who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her.
Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."
Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused.
"Well," she said," go ahead."
"And this is my pole," he said.
My mother was completely perplexed until the young man
added, "I just bought it at the hardware store."
And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it
off the bus.
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
When I was new in the work force, I was told that because
I had not yet worked a month, I would not get Veterans Day.
OK, fine, no big deal. So I showed up at the usual time,
and found that the entrance was locked up.
I knew, however, that the back door by the dumpster was
rather sloppy, and one of the girls, who had locked herself
out accidentally when emptying her garbage, got back in by
using her credit card. So I figured I would try that, but
found the door was not really locked.
So I went to my station, tunred on the lights and started
working.
About two hours later the big boss and four cops showed
up and asked me what the heck I was doing.
It was a lot funnier for them than for me, but I did not
get in trouble. The boss explained things for me, and
gave me a Twenty for my work, and then they escorted me
out.
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
What a fantasy land of photos.
|
Today, November 12, in
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor
shower from a ship off the Florida Keys.
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him.
1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the first
American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry.
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent republics.
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet Union.
Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading to
Stalin coming to power.
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was played.
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major
victory.
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway.
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange
National Bank in Chicago, IL.
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki
Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death.
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking out
home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor,
closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since 1892.
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH.
1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first NFL
head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons.
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from
Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4.
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of
Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth.
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Brezhnev
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared
the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage.
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in
prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A.
Walker Jr.
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement that
said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat someone solely
because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive.
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum Throne.
1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director.
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock with
the Russian space station Mir.
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death in
Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees.
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for
constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors.
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993 bombing
of the World Trade Center.
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG.
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take
off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed into
the Rockaway Beach part of Queens. All 260 people aboard killed.
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the Kabul,
Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance at this
point was reported to have control over most of the northern areas
of Afghanistan.
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc.
that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of dollars
in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man." Lee was
the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and Daredevil.
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade Center
was the tallest building in the United States. The height was measured
at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth tallest building in
the world at the time.
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with the
U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that would create
the world's largest airline.
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian military
equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen entering Ukraine in
convoys over several days.
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its lander Philae
to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The comet was
67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.
2015 smiled.
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Wednesday, November 11, 2015, 12:42 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 11
Remebrance Day
Veterans Day
Pittance of time at 11:00 am
Also see Barb's Bonus Link near the bottom.
Thanks Gene!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting
live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 11, in
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged
in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
--- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
"A man never discloses his own character so clearly
as when he describes another's."
--- Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate
of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a
sudden the box fell and broke open.
Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the
determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping
up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired
crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly
returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly,
"but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you done a good job, son," the farmer beamed.
"You left with seven."
______________________________________________________
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out.
You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the
most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants
of France."
The new man asked, "What happened?"
"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
______________________________________________________
Anthem, Arizona today at 11:11 am
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Megan Smith,
27,
Bradenton,
Florida
Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting
live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper
A woman clobbered her live-in boyfriend in the face with
a “pooper scooper” during an early-morning confrontation
in their apartment, according to Florida cops.
Megan Smith, 27, was arrested for battery around 5 AM
Monday when an argument about “living arrangements” with
victim Alexander Buck allegedly “turned physical.”
Police charge that Smith “picked up a pooper scooper and
hit the victim in the face with it multiple times.” The
pooper scooper strikes knocked Buck’s glasses off his face
and left him with “multiple abrasions to his left eyebrow
and forehead.”
Buck, who fled the couple’s Bradenton home and called 911,
subsequently declined treatment from an EMS team dispatched
to the residence.
During police questioning, Smith reportedly copped to
striking Buck with the scooper, which is used to handle cat
litter. “She stated she hit him because the victim would not
stop arguing with her,” an investigator noted.
Smith, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was released yesterday
from the county jail after posting $500 bond. She is scheduled
for an October 15 arraignment on the misdemeanor charge.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Wanda
Re: Back up OneTab
Dear Webby,
You recommended OneTab. I like it and have used it since
you recommended it. Big question is, how do I back it up
so that I can move it to my next computer?
Thanks
Wanda
Dear Wanda
Open OneTab.
On the right top you have some menu items.
The third one is
Export / Import URLs
Click on that.
You see a list of all the URLS in text format.
Click in the middle of that text stuff,
hit CTRL A to highlight the text
Jump to a new text document in NoteTab or WordPad
or whater you use for plain text.
Click into that and hit CTRL V
That pastes it.
Save it as Onetab11-11-2015, or whatever the date is
on your planet. That's all there is to it.
Eventually you have a log of diback-ups from different dates.
Importing onto a different computer is just as easy.
Select IMPORT instead of Export
copy the list of URLs from the backup you want,
and paste it.
You can't browse to it, but you'll get the hang quickly.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A trainee for the New York Police Department, was asked
the following hypothetical question: "If your beat was
a lonely path in Central Park, and a beautiful young girl
rushed up to you and declared that a strange man had
suddenly grabbed her, and hugged and kissed her, what
would you do?"
The police-officer-in-training replied without hesitation,
"I would endeavor to reconstruct the crime."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Flatware Scuffs on Porcelain Dishes
My husband is a heavy stirrer and our everyday porcelain
dishes were showing flatware scuffing. I tried the Weiman's
Stove Top Cleaner. Rubbing with a damp paper towel, this
is the cleaning results from a moderate swiping motion.
I did half of the bowl for comparison purposes.
By Myrna [16]
Weimans Stove Top Cleaner is like the Barman's Friend cleaner
on Turbo. You just wipe it onto the stovetop or porcellain
with a yello-green scouring pad, and rinse after a minute or two.
Done.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and
several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that
the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the
priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be
replaced soon."
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told
her that he thought that she had been there long enough to
refer to church property as "our" not "your."
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge
needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told
him, "Father, I've noticed that your...(-and after a stern look
from the priest-) I mean OUR hedge needs to be trimmed."
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his
attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch
that had gone missing.
She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it.
Another few days passed, and the parish received word that
the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was
in an uproar of cleaning, and decorating.
On the day the bishop arrived, while the priest was greeting
the bishop in front of the church, the same nun came running
down the front stairs yelling,
"Father, Father, I found your watch!!"
The priest, annoyed at the interruption, gave her another one of
his "stern looks".
"Why yes, Father, Sorry. I found it under OUR bed."
___________________________________________________
 | Armistice Day 1918
|
____________________________________________________
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does
it
work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
with that?"
____________________________________________________
A cute young secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed
off her figure, especially when she walked. And she enjoyed
showing off.
One afternoon her boss motioned her into his office and closed
the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked,
"Is that for sale?"
"Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously.
Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you might
want to tone down the advertising during working hours."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
Did you ever get really angry on the phone, go off on a
tirade and angrily slam the phone down only to have it
ring again five seconds later? Thinking it's the same
person, I started the yelling again - Ooops, now I've
got to apologize to my friend.
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Antem memorial
|
They don't have a live camera. If you want to see that,
you will have to go and visit. Anthem is just 25 miles
north of the Phoenix airport. Just take the I-17,
head north about 25 miles, and when you get there, hang a
right at West Daisy Mountain, and a left at the first divided
road: North Gavilan Peak Parkway.
At north Venture drive hang a right and immediat left.
There is parking there.
Even if you can't make it there for November 11, it is
still v ery impressive to see at any time of the year.
DearWebby
Today, November 11, in
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged
in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising.
1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark.
1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the
New York Athletic Club.
1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at
the Melbourne jail at age 25.
1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted
of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers.
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed
an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the
United States.
1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany.
1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster
Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording
process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman.
1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery
in Virginia by U.S. President Harding.
1940 The Jeep made its debut.
1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France.
1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and
Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA.
1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain.
The country later became known as Zimbabwe.
1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled
the Earth 59 times before returning.
1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South
Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the
Vietnam War by the U.S. military.
1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal.
1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock
Center in Chicago in about six hours.
1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in
Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine.
1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at age 84.
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund.
1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in
Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5.
1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the
second largest computer company.
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million
dollars in New York.
1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on
the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the
deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life
in prison.
1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant recipient,
died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13.
1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help
the nation arrange democratic elections.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that
Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were
"summarily executed," but others were still living in his country
voluntarily.
1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests.
1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor
the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War.
1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli
military checkpoint killing three soldiers.
1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals."
The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would
tour communities throughout the United States.
1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off
10,000 employees.
1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the
Palestinians.
2015 smiled.
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What to do if Skype messed up your mug shot?
Tuesday, November 10, 2015, 09:05 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 10
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting
82 year old gramma
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of
the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence
after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The
Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798.
This day is observed as the birth date of the United States
Marine Corps.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.
--- Aesop
Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen,
let adversity teach him.
--- Ethiopian Proverb
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Late one night during bad weather, the following was
heard over the radio at an airport control tower:
Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over
Heli-pad 1."
Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding
at 3000 over that pad!"
There was a brief moment of silence.
First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!"
______________________________________________________
Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, Dear," he said.
"Of course, Tim," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry
Lawrence."
"But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said.
With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!"
______________________________________________________
Tougher than hockey
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Adam Tanzer,
26,
Palm Harbor,
Florida
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting
82 year old gramma
A Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the
ground Saturday night after he was denied "her debit card,
which he needed to buy cake,” police allege.
Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly
victim during a dispute inside her residence in Palm Harbor,
a community about 25 miles west of Tampa.
According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground
“in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands
and hip.
Tanzer was allegedly angry that his grandmother “took away her
debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was
yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and
caused Bliss to fall on her hip.”
The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by
Bliss, who did require medical treatment.
Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person
65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday
afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with
his grandmother.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Adele
Re: Skype picture messed up
Dear Webby,
All of a sudden my Skype picture got changed. Instead of
a carefully selected picture it nhow shows me with curlers
and green mudpack. Terrible!
How do I get my picture back?
Adele
Dear Adele
Your 1976 glamor shot is gone.
You will not get that back.
You have two options now: Use Skype and take a new picture,
like your already famous rhino with green mud-pack picture,
or browse for an acceptable one.
A lot of people use a picture of their daughters or grand
daughters. Some use a snapshot harvested at the mall. It is
entirely up to you.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
>From Jean
A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's
temper. The doctor asks "what's the problem?"
The woman says, "doctor, I don't know what to do.
Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for
no reason. It scares me."
The doctor says, "I have a cure for that.
When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take
a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just
swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves
the room or calms down."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh
and reborn.
The woman says, "doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my
husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished
and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water
do that?"
The doctor says, "the water itself does nothing.
It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Alternative to Wet Wipes
Since the thick cloth Wet Wipes are expensive and not good
for a septic system, I always keep a small spray bottle with
some water in it within a spare toilet roll next to my
toilet. You could even add one tiny drop off liquid soap
and/or essential oil if desired. Just spritz the tissue you
are going to use and wipe!
It's great for an extra clean wipe up from the young to non
so young!
By Donna [294]
Those cheap 8" x 8" Microfiber samples work even better.
They don't tear, and can be washed and line dried.
Their cleaning ability is a thousand times better.
Ketchup from a white rug? No problem. Ball point pen from
aunt Louises's blouse? No problem.
Buy a box. Visitors are going to borrow them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina
pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was
recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia
and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was
followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia
and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his
memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as
well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
It was the hardest spelling test he ever took.
___________________________________________________
 | GoPro falls into pit
of rattlesnakes
(the guys are going to love this one)
|
____________________________________________________
At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in
the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a
piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress
there.
All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in.
They observed the connection between the waitress and
the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive
remarks trying to get the trucker to start something.
But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill
and walked out.
One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like
your boyfriend ain't much of a man."
The waitress just leaned on the cash register and
looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't
much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over
three bikes out there."
____________________________________________________
Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he
returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed
him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for
you to come home," she said.
"What an example of true love," Dave replied.
"I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?"
"Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and
I didn't know where you were, you can be sure me and
my rolling pin would be waiting for you at the front door."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
I used to love shopping downtown at the large department
stores, you know the ones, where ladies' clothing is on one
floor, men's on another, fine dining on another, etc. There's
usually 9-10 floors of shopping. I miss those days.
Anyway, one day while shopping, I was walking along, not
paying any attention to where I was going and I ran into
someone. I immediately started apologizing. I stepped back
to get out of their way, and to my dismay, it wasn’t a
person, it wasn’t even a manikin, it was a large round
supporting post. Do you know how you feel when you're
apologizing to the supporting post of a building?
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Well, this is different.
|
Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of
the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence
after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The
Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798.
This day is observed as the birth date of the United States
Marine Corps.
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling.
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting:
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House.
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan.
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart
in Alameda, CA.
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA.
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism.
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that
equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in
December of 1991.
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of
29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior.
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be
executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was
put to death the following January.
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped
in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the
cab fare.
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack
at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov.
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be
the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was
cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993.
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital
sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him.
Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her
husband.
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases.
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing
the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following
week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban.
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action
would end trade sanctions.
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa
along with several other anti-government activists.
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left
24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead.
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was
the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion.
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two
CIA employees in 1993.
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder
conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to
time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old
Matthew Eappen.
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org)
was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall
through the Internet.
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership.
2015 smiled.
|
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( 2.9 / 153 )
Monday, November 9, 2015, 10:27 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 9
Members of the city council in Iowa City, Iowa voted Monday
to remove a veterans memorial that included a cross from
a local park, and in turn, members of the community voted
on Tuesday to remove those council members from office.
”We warned them multiple times if they let our town down.
they WILL be voted out,” Allison Schmitz of Stop the Insanity
posted online this week. “They didn’t listen, and look,
the people have SPOKEN!”
The Mudslims haven't got a chance there, any more than to get
the crosses be to removed from Arlington.
Kudos to the people of Iowa !
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with
pumpkin carving knife
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9, in
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see
the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip
by a U.S. president.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Watch out for the fellow who talks about putting things in order!
Putting things in order always means getting other people under
your control.
--- Denis Diderot (1713 - 1784)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Redneck Dickschonairy:
Myth: Lesbian Moth
______________________________________________________
A granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with
Nancy, and she decided to teach her to sew. After she
had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread
the machine, the granddaughter stepped back, put her
hands on her hips, and said in disbelief:
"You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my
Game Boy?"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
That is Ship Island outside Gulfport, Mississippi
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Buford Boone,
Dallas,
Texas
Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with
pumpkin carving knife
A Dallas-area father carving jack-o-lanterns with his
7-year-old daughter for Halloween stabbed a suspected car
thief with a knife after the alleged criminal broke into
their home, police said on Wednesday.
The suspect stole a car from a nearby gas station on Tuesday
evening, crashed it and then ran into a neighborhood to try
to elude officers, said police in Arlington, west of Dallas.
Brian Hackney told the local NBC TV affiliate he was carving
pumpkins with his daughter when the suspect ran into his home
and began rifling through his wife's purse.
Hackney said he had a knife readily in hand, confronted the
intruder and stabbed him in the back. A neighbor called the 911
emergency line while Hackney held down the intruder until
police arrived.
"I just went into protection mode," Hackney told the television
station. "Ladies say 'mama bear,' but it was 'papa bear' here."
The father and daughter were not injured in the incident. The
suspect was taken to a local hospital for treatment, police said.
The suspect, identified as Buford Boone, has been charged with car
theft and robbery. No lawyer was listed on his arrest report.
To avoid racial profiling there is no mug shot.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ingrid
Re: Which browser is better?
Dear Webby,
I have frequent "Browser is not responding" errors.
I won't use IE for security reasons, just FF and Chrome.
Which one is better, or what shoul I do?
Ingrid
Dear ingrid
Yes.
Between FF and Chrome, it is like with political parties.
Each one is worse than the other.
Both of those browsers have frequent updates and they are
quite dilligent in removing security hazards, and they are
even more dilligent in copying whatever new gimmick the
other one came up with.
We are getting to the point where FF and Chrome are just as
badly overloaded as IE, where we need a totally new browser.
There is no point switching back and forth betweem them.
Pick whicever one is most comfortable for you, and get used
to it's peculiarities.
Get ONE-TAB, an add on for the browser. It is similar to
Bookmarks, but easier to find recently one-tabbed items.
With it you can reduce the number of tabs quite efficiently
and easily resurract them. Naturally, the fewer open tabs
you have, the faster your browser will run
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
There were 2 Irishmen walking along looking for jobs,
when they came across a sign saying:
TREE FELLERS WANTED.
"Ohhh, to be sure, too be sure!" said one. "What a
shame there are only the too of us!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Scents from Your Home
I am chemical sensitive to perfumes, cigarettes, gasoline,
etc. Sometimes we have guests come over with high perfume
scents and when they leave the scent does not.
Other situations would be: purchasing used furniture that
has old moldy scent or cigarette/cigar smoke odor. One
thing that seems to work the best for me is to use coffee
grounds. You can purchase the cheapest coffee for this so
it's an inexpensive trick. You just put the grounds in a
brown paper bag or staple them up in coffee filters or for
a little more money/convenience you can purchase the pre-packed
coffee filters.
Then you just set them around where the odors are. It can take
a day or so to remove the odor completely, but in most cases
you can at least handle the area within a short period of time.
I hope this trick help many of you out.
By Bergster417 [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband,
"I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning,
and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started
to insult me. He used really bad language. He even
threatened me!"
"How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very
concerned.
"Well," she says, "we met by accident. I ran into his
wheelchair with the car."
___________________________________________________
 | trucks meet on hairpin curve
|
____________________________________________________
A Guy and his wife are riding two up on a bike along a
twisty road with a 55MPH limit. A cop pulls them over.
"Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the
cop.
"Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up
someone else or something, but my speedometer was
set right on 55."
The wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you
20 miles back you were going to get stopped if you didn't
slow down."
"Quiet please!" mumbles the guy.
"Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop.
"Sure, my card is right here in my wallet."
The wife says, "That card's no good and you know it.
You haven't paid the last premium and the company sent
you a cancellation notice."
"Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut up for a minute?"
"Ma'am," says the cop. "Does this guy always talk to
you like this?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
____________________________________________________
A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pup for
her birthday. An hour later, while wandering through the
house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of
the kitchen floor. her comment was:
"My pup runneth over."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
>From Ed
So my wife and I stayed at the Crescent Hotel high on the
hill in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We chose that venue because
it's supposed to be haunted. Most evenings, the guests are
either exploring the hotel for the dearly departed or are
taking the weekend ghost tour again hoping to encounter a
ghost. Truth be told, we booked lodging there for the same
reason. With all this talk about ghosts in mind, we retired
for the evening. Now I'm an older guy and relieving myself
several times during the night had become much more
commonplace than it was in my younger years. I was hoping
that one good scare might have me evacuating my bladder
enough to get me a modicum of uninterrupted sleep. I knew
better but hope springs eternal. As expected, during the
midnight hours I paid John a visit and turned to go back to
bed. It was then that I actually saw a ghost!
I screamed and stood there in fear not moving a muscle. A
few minutes passed when I noticed that the ghost didn't
move unless I did. It was at that point that I realized
I was staring at myself in the door mirror.
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
I had no idea
most of these strange animals existed!
|
Today, November 9, in
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA.
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see
the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip
by a U.S. president.
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent
on neon advertising signs.
1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate.
He then fled to the Netherlands.
1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops
that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the
evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall
full of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint.
1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other
labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization.
1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became
known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass."
1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph.
1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated
its "caucasians only" rule.
1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion.
1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash.
1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states
and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours.
1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight.
1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions condemning
the apartheid government in South Africa.
1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon
Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants,
mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4.
1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid
Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also
involved in the operation.
1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
to India. It was the highest loan to date.
1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came
out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing
commentator for NBC.
1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick Hart,
was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in
Washington, DC.
1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens
to travel freely to West Germany.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-aggression
treaty with Germany.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed for
assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked British
businesses to invest.
1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust
settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered
to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging
of Nasdaq stocks.
2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania Avenue
in front of the White House to pedestrians.
2015 smiled.
|
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( 3 / 634 )
Sunday, November 8, 2015, 07:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 8
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Arkansas mother, who was arrested after she put bourbon
in her baby's bottle
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 8, in
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis.
The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of
exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world
if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.
--- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)
She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes
into small opportunities.
--- Henry James (1843 - 1916)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Official sign near door:
Door Alarmed.
Handprinted sign nearby:
Window frightened.
______________________________________________________
Patient: "Nurse, during my operation I heard the surgeon
use a four-letter word that upset me very much."
Nurse: "What word was that?"
Patient: "Oops!"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Lori Sheppard,
28,Mt. Holly,
Arkansas
Arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle
NOVEMBER 6--When her teething infant son would not stop
crying, an Arkansas woman called her mother and was told
to rub some alcohol on the child’s painful gums.
Instead, cops charge, Lori Sheppard, 28, put bourbon in
her 10-month-old son’s bottle, leading to the infant’s
hospitalization and her arrest for child endangerment
and aggravated assault.
Sheppard’s son Ronald was rushed last week to a hospital
emergency room after he was found “limp and unresponsive.”
Sheppard initially told cops that the child “was fine
before she placed him in his playpen” inside the family’s
trailer home in Mt. Holly, a community about 125 miles south
of Little Rock.
Sheppard claimed that when she briefly left the trailer, her
five-year-old stepbrother went inside. When she returned to
the home, Sheppard said she found Ronald “unconscious and
unresponsive.”
During police questioning, Sheppard initially denied giving
the baby alcohol (the child’s father told police that there
was “a 5th of bourbon in the freezer at the trailer”). But,
cops say, she eventually confessed to putting booze in
Ronald’s bottle.
Sheppard told investigators that when Tylenol and Motrin
did not relieve the infant’s discomfort, she sought advice
from her mother, who suggested rubbing alcohol on Ronald’s
gums.
The child, who was airlifted to Arkansas Children’s
Hospital in Little Rock, had a blood alcohol content of
.19, according to a Union County Sheriff’s Office report.
After several days of treatment, the boy was discharged
into the custody of child welfare workers.
Pictured above in an unfortunate message t-shirt, Sheppard
was booked into jail on the felony charges. A judge set her
bond at $10,000
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Open Office Thesaurus
Hi Dear Webby,
Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar:
I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office.
I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following
their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus
doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable.
Do you have a solution?
As always my sincere thanks.
Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
Dear Walter
On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7
and the Thesaurus comes up
showing a bunch of alternate words.
There are two possibilities.
1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language
or
2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics,
without the Thesaurus.
If it is #2, just reinstall it,
and this time let it go whole hog.
It takes more space, but that is the price
you pay for having the big dictionary and
the Thesaurus on the shelf.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Dear Webby,
thank you again for having the right answer.
I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the
Thesaurus works perfectly.
Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to
your mother, what would she have?
Little Johnny: A heart attack!
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making Coffee Without a Coffeemaker
A week ago, I broke our carafe to our coffee maker. My husband and I had already gone shopping so we had a full can of coffee. We were out of instant coffee, which made this an emergency, at least for me! My husband to the rescue. He made his own instant pouch using a coffee filter, twist tie and boiling water. Here are the instructions.
Take 2 teaspoon per (8 oz.)cup of coffee.
Add this to a coffee filter.
Tie filter with twist tie or string.
Drop filter into a pot of boiling water (16 oz. of water)
Let coffee and filter simmer in hot water to desired color. The darker the stronger your coffee will taste.
It's like boiling a tea bag in a pot of water. Sorry about my pic of my coffee, I also spilled non-dairy coffee creamer. No matter, I just did not feel like getting up to take a better pic, but I did enjoy my cup of coffee.
By Georgetta Ruth [73]
When I was living in the bush in the Yukon I rigged a coil of
3/8" copper tubing into the s tove pipe of the "kitchen stove"
just outside the tent. The inside airtight was not used in
summer.
The copper pipe came out of the stove pipe high enough to
neatly drip into a Melitta (Cone filter) sitting on top of
a one gallon blue enamel coffee pot.
The water for the water heater came from the high tank
hanging up high inside the 12' x 16' tent.
That made beautiful coffee for years until I finished
building the new house.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights
activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles
and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland
to grow vegetables.
You might want to stop eating until the dogooders sort
this out.
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying
that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they
listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy
muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums."
Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush,
"Our regular drummer slept in."
>From Barb
____________________________________________________
*Last night I was driving home and listening to a sports call-in
program, carried by WGN in Chicago on SIRIUS. People were calling in,
very upset, about the goat's head that was sent to Cubs owner Tom
Ricketts at Wrigley Field.*
*Then some guy called in from Indiana and said, "Why are you people so
upset 'cause someone sent a goat's head to Wrigley Field? Aren't you
Chicagoans the same guys that sent a horse's ass to the White House?" *
*I had to pull over!*
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
Not my blunder but by someone I knew well.
As a truck driver, I have to be careful to pace myself for
bathroom stops. It happened one day that my body wasn't
cooperating with my paced schedule. At the next drop-off,
before going into the office and having the papers signed,
I ran into their restroom.
You can imagine my relief as I downloaded (it wasn't #1).
Now you can imagine my horror when I look down at the floor
and see the hole where the stool was SUPPOSED to sit.
I felt so sorry for those plumbers.
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
So very limber and graceful.
|
Today, November 8, in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public.
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis.
The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of
exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory.
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took
the first X-ray pictures.
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator.
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power
in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be
known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch."
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The
organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4
million unemployed people in the U.S.
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria.
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa.
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle
took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down
a North Korean MiG-15.
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son.
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California.
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California
announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the
planet Saturn.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop deployments
in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to the multi-
national force fighting against Iraq.
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions
on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war.
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence.
1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from
the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were
valued at $52 million.
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for
the Three Gorges Dam.
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner
of the 2000 U.S. presidential election.
2009 The game Angry Birds Star Wars was released.
2015 smiled.
|
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( 3 / 665 )
Thesaurus for Open Office
Saturday, November 7, 2015, 10:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 7
Thank you, William!
Happy 29th birthday, Noella!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida burglar arrested after
dropping out of the ceiling.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs;
therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity,
or undue depression in adversity.
--- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly
clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor
vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift
for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat
to the cash register.
"Cash or charge," the clerk asked.
"Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her
rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at
the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!"
"Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly,
"Or or you going back?"
______________________________________________________
It's time to do my bi-annual rant about auto-responders.
Every now and then some smooth-talking moron manages
to persuade otherwise quite reasonable people to use
auto-responders to embarrass themselves.
If YOU are one of those, stop and think for a bit, before
you have lost all your friends.
What does an auto-responder accomplish ?
1) Everybody puts your address into their spam filters,
because they are not interested in the silly drivel of your
auto-responder.
2) People forget that now all mail from you automatically
goes into the garbage, and they don't believe you when
you tell them that you answered their mail.
NOTHING else EVER gets accomplished by a personal
auto-responder.
Commercial auto-responders that reply with
up-to-the-minute fresh road reports, or the weather, or
inventory of daily specials if you write to a certain
address, those are useful, because they supply
information that you requested.
However, does anybody really need to know that
Dingbat's computer admits that it has received the mail
that you sent her (since you sent the mail to HER and not
the Easter Bunny, you more or less expected that
anyway), and that Dingbat is too lazy or too drunk to
answer you right now, or that she never answers after
5PM? Well, you expected that too, so why repeat the
never changing obvious facts ?
If you have an auto-responder, do yourself and your
friends a favor and get rid of it. Then get yourself a new
address and get re-aquainted with your former friends
who thought you had died when all your mail got filtered
into the garbage without anybody ever seeing it.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Bob for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Justin Grimes,
30,
Daytona Beach,
Floriduh
Florida burglar arrested after
dropping out of the ceiling.
A would-be thief allegedly decided to drop in for dinner
—literally—at a Florida eatery Tuesday evening, WESH reports.
Police say diners at Hibachi Grill and Supreme Buffet in
Daytona Beach heard noises coming from the ceiling shortly
before 30-year-old Justin Grimes fell through it. Patrons
sprung into action, holding Grimes down until officers arrived.
According to WFTV, police believe Grimes got into the ceiling
through the bathroom and was attempting to make his way to the
restaurant's office to steal money when he fell through the
ceiling. WESH reports the restaurant's manager found broken
ceiling tiles and a pair of shoes in the office, but it's
unclear how they got there. Grimes has been charged with
burglary.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Open Office Thesaurus
Hi Dear Webby,
Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar:
I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office.
I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following
their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus
doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable.
Do you have a solution?
As always my sincere thanks.
Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
Dear Walter
On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7
and the Thesaurus comes up
showing a bunch of alternate words.
There are two possibilities.
1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language
or
2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics,
without the Thesaurus.
If it is #2, just reinstall it,
and this time let it go whole hog.
It takes more space, but that is the price
you pay for having the big dictionary and
the Thesaurus on the shelf.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Dear Webby,
thank you again for having the right answer.
I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the
Thesaurus works perfectly.
Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was
asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the
hallway toward you, what would you do?"
Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!"
The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter
from?"
Tom replied, "The same place you got your train!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spanish Rice
My grandmother, who was Mexican taught me how to cook this
Spanish rice. Now my son who is 24 and living on his own,
makes his own.
Approximate Time: 20-30 minutes
Yield: 6 or more servings
Ingredients:
1 cup long grain white rice
3-4 green onion stalks, cut small (more or less,
depending on your taste)
1 small ripe tomato, diced
1 1/2 cup chicken stock, warmed
1 can (small) tomato sauce (I use the spicy
tomato sauce, but it's a matter of taste)
Adobo seasoning to taste
pepper to taste
2 Tbsp oil, any kind of your choice
2 Tbsp butter (not margarine, or I can't
Believe it's not Butter)
Steps:
Saute the green onion and rice until the rice is
slightly browned and has a nutty smell to it.
Add the tomatoes and stir in.
Then add the warmed chicken stock and tomato sauce.
Season with the Adobo, or salt and pepper to taste,
then add the butter.
Simmer 18-20 minutes, or until rice is done and all
liquid is absorbed and rice is tender.
Source: My grandmother
By Cathi Cates [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would
be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal
partners.
So, the first morning back from their honeymoon,
Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed.
Kathy wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however.
She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted,
"A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought her a
scrambled egg.
Kathy wasn't having any of it. "Why can't I have some
variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought
her two eggs - one scrambled and one poached.
"Here, my love... enjoy!"
Kathy was furious, "You Bozo, you scrambled the wrong egg!"
___________________________________________________
 the slap
|
____________________________________________________
A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian
Rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and
walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture
of the rug she accidentally breaks wind.
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if
anyone has noticed her little accident.
As she turns there standing next to her is a salesman.
"Good day M'am, how may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this
rug cost?"
He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it,
what is going to happen to your pants when you
hear the price?"
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
I love to take pictures and was excited when I found out
that I was going to get to go to the ocean in Florida.
I'd never seen the ocean. I got up early, went out to
the beach and waited for the sun to come up so I could
get a sunrise picture. The sky was full of clouds and
though it was getting lighter, I never did get to see
the sun rise so I gave up.
I decided to go back to the hotel and as I got into the
car, I turned around and there was the sun, bright and
shining. It had come up behind one of the casinos.
Totally missed it!
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
I prefer the house in the
mountains where there is peace and quiet.
|
Today, November 6, in
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the
American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts Bay
Colony for heresy.
1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by
William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe).
1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying
to protect his printing shop from a third destruction.
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly.
1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by
Albert H. Hook.
1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote.
1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first
transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia.
1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional
government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led
by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin.
1918 During World War I, a false report through the United
Press announced that an armistice had been signed.
1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington
state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension bridge had
opened to traffic on July 1, 1940.
1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first person
to win a fourth term as president.
1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television commercials.
1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland, OH,
becoming the first black mayor of a major city.
1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that college
students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose their
draft deferments.
1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the
War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage
war without congressional approval.
1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of Justice.
The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11 Supreme
Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist guerrillas
belonging to the April 19 Movement.
1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had
been president since the country's independence in 1956.
1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia,
becoming the first elected African-American state governor
in U.S. history.
1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's first
African-American mayor.
1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested positive
for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was retiring
from basketball.
1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on
the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution.
1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no contest
to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been arrested in
Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater.
1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted
to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl.
2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first president's
wife to win public office. The state of New York elected her to
the U.S. Senate. (New York)
2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched.
2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying.
2015 smiled.
|
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( 3.2 / 243 )
IN and OUT mailbox appearing empty
Friday, November 6, 2015, 09:19 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you Moe
Thank you, Mary
Thank you, Richard
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving
off with voting equipment
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 6, in
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth
president of the United States.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.
--- Alice Walker (1944 - )
The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
--- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC)
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
--- Laurence J. Peter
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials
put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the
kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.
The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty
feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was
again roaming around the zoo.
This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty
feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked
the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless
somebody starts locking the gate at night!"
______________________________________________________
Two men were talking one day.
"My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from
the garden market," said the first man.
"So were you able to find some?" the second man asked.
"Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce
clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been
sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'
"The produce clerk said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.' "
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Adele for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Darrin Farmer,
55,
North Versailles,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving
off with voting equipment
Authorities in western Pennsylvania say a local judge of
elections was arrested after allegedly failing to show up
to the polls Tuesday and instead deciding to work as a
jitney driver for the day.
The Allegheny County sheriff's office says 55-year-old
Darrin Farmer of North Versailles (Vehr-SAYLESS) never
came to the North Versailles precinct with voting equipment,
delaying poll opening by three hours.
Authorities say his wife said he dropped her off at a store
to buy refreshments for volunteers but then left. They
allege he decided to spend the day giving rides for money.
Farmer faces charges including tampering with public records
and obstructing a government function; a listed number for
him couldn't be found and it's unclear whether he has an
attorney who could respond to the charges.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Reliable email program
Dear Webby,
Once again I'm coming to the 'mountain' for HELP.
Last evening I updated Mailwasher to the latest
config. 7.7 and then this morning when I logged
on and my mail was transferred to Eudora 7.1.0.9
all of the mail that was both in my in and out
boxes (Eudora) has disappeared. I would like
to have it (mail) back since I've not replied
to some of them. I did nothing else with my
desktop other than update Mailwasher.
Can and would you shed some light to make my
day brighter.
Peace
Frank
Dear Frank
Mailwasher doesn't do anything to Eudora beyond transferring
the focus to it, like clicking on it to making it active.
That sounds like a routine Windoze malfunction.
Did you try closing Eudora and re-opening it?
Or closing it, and then rebooting?
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Dear Webby,
Like normal, I did as you instructed below. The emails
came back BUT now in Eudora the inbox first left column
with the 'dot' header is now showing a ? for ALL messages
prior to this morning. This mornings recent mail shows
the blue dot.
The outbox is showing a red dot with an x inside the dot,
in that same column for all sent messages including my
initial request to you this morning prior to closing and
reboot. Can you explain and can it be corrected?
I'm having 'FUN!' now.
Frank
Dear Frank
Normally Eudora keeps the IN and OUT box in RAM during
operation, and writes to disk later.
If Windoze decides it needs more RAM, it steals it from
any non-Windows program. Theoretically, whatever it steals,
is supposed to be written to the virtual memory (your hard
drive). Sometimes that works OK, sometimes it doesn't.
Eudora has a way to guard against that, and tells you to
re-index the database.
Compacting the database usually fixes the question marks
and dots.
To avoid that problem, keep the IN and OUT mailboxes small.
Send mails to suitable mailboxes like Prayers, Recipes,
Boobs, etc.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their
married lives. Although happily married, they admitted
that there were argument sometimes.
Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now
know how to always have the last word."
"Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?"
"It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always
'Yes, Dear.'"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Floor Cleaner with No Residue
Have you ever mopped with a cleaner just to discover you
have a sticky floor from the residue? We bought some
rubber planking floor that looks like wood and I wanted
a good cleaner so I did some research. My research took
me finally to Amazon where there is a product called
Congoleum Bright 'N Easy No Rinse Cleaner. A 32 oz.
bottle is $13.99 plus shipping, but I tell you, that
bottle will last. You use 1/4 of a cup to a gallon of
water.
The floors looked beautiful with no residue. After reading
reviews, I saw people were using it in the kitchen on the
tile floors so I tried that and the floors looked better
than anything I used in the past. So I can do the tiles
and plank floors with this and never have a buildup.
By linda [61]
Since my dishes dry nice and clean without residue,
I have used a squirt of dish soap per gallon of hot
water on my high gloss soft vinyl and gloss hardwood wood
floor for the last 15 years. No dull film or buildup at
all. My floors are as clean and shiny as my dishes and
glasses. Other dish soaps will probably work just as well.
If your dish soap doesn't leave a film on your glasses,
then it won't leave a film on the floor either.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and
she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One
day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a
friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited
about the new baby.
"Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard
some of his parents' private conversations, he adds,
"And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a
girl we're going to call it Barny, and if it's another boy
we're going to call it Quits."
___________________________________________________
 the slap
|
____________________________________________________
While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a
shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress
strolled by...
Johns eyes followed her.
Without looking up from the item Jill was examining,
Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?"
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
One time I was at the Farmer's market and was already
lugging a big, (in the late 60's) fashionable wicker basket
full of all kinds of fruit and veggies, when I spotted
large pumpkins with a sign "1 penny". That sounded
too good to be true.
Well, on closer inspection I saw the tiny writing
"per pound".
Too late. By that time I was hooked.
Since I was already overloaded I asked the farmer
if he delivered, and gave him my address.
"yes, sure," he said, if you buy a gross."
I had no clue how many were in a gross, but I was hooked.
I wanted some of those big, shiny pumpkins.
He told me that he would weigh them and put the bill into
my mailbox.
I had to go to church choir after the farmers market and
we went for some wine and cheese at the preacher's house
afterward. So I didn't get home until quite late.
The front door was barricaded with a pyramid of pumpkins,
and half the porch was pumpkins 3 layers deep.
I had no key for the back door with me.
So, after crying for a bit, I circled the house looking
for a window that I could burgle in through.
Then a cop car stopped and a suspicious cop stomped over to
me and yelled at me, wanting to know if I was trying to
break in to that house.
That made me mad and I screamed back at him just as loud:
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!"
He jumped back two feet, and looked things over.
Then he started laughing. Really laughing and doubling
over, slapping his thighs and laughing.
After that he helped me move the pyramid from the front
door to the east side of the porch and make a pyramid there.
After that I could finally get inside, put away the veggies
and fruit, and murder a pumpkin.
I didn't go for the bill in the mailbox for a couple of days.
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Yikes! Too scary for me!
|
Today, November 6, in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America.
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth
president of the United States.
1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S.
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap.
1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the
United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The
document granted rights to the United States to build and
indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses.
1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of
Indian miners in South Africa.
1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres.
1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver.
1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of
FM broadcasting.
1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll
in the Pacific Ocean.
1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited
when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800
feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led
by Red Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.
1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that
condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The
resolution also called for all member states to terminate
military and economic relations with South Africa.
1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow
250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971.
1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter.
1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a
mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march
into the nation of Western Sahara.
1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending
a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible
College in Georgia.
1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over
northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents
to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban
resisters to the U.S-led invasion.
1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19
Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota.
1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in
Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being
the head of a family spy ring.
1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release
of seven American hostages.
1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S.
announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets
that had been held since 1979.
1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire.
1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires
ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War.
1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal.
1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb
killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians.
1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's
queen as their head of state.
2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people.
The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists.
2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23.
2015 smiled.
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( 3.1 / 805 )
Thursday, November 5, 2015, 11:17 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 5
Thank You Cynjer!
Thank you Doug!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl
in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 5, in
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Muslim Nidal Malik Hasan
killed 13 people and wounded 30 others.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in getting up every time we do.
--- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)
To punish me for my contempt for authority,
fate made me an authority myself.
--- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A major research institution recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
This new element has been tentatively named
"Administratium".
Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant
deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force
called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is
inert.However, it can be detected as it impedes
every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Administratium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it
would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of three
years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a
reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy
neutrons exchange places.In fact, Administratium's
mass actually increases over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This moron-promoting characteristic has lead
some scientists to speculate that Administratium
is formed wherever morons reach a certain quantity
in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass."
You'll know it when you see it.
______________________________________________________
Q: How can I avoid always being handed other
peoples' drooling brats?
A: Drop one or two.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Paul Rater,
62,
Buckeye,
Arizona
AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl
in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger
A man in Buckeye, Arizona, is facing child endangerment
charges after authorities said he left his 5-year-old
granddaughter in the desert by herself with a loaded gun.
Paul Rater, 62, took the girl for a ride in his pickup truck
Sunday afternoon in the desert. Family members reported the
two missing four hours later.
The girl was eventually found by a firefighter who was riding
around the desert on an ATV. She was crying for help, Maricopa
County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told ABC15.com.
Arpaio told the station the girl was found with a loaded and
cocked .45 caliber handgun.
"He told her it was to shoot the bad guys. How does a 5-year-old
know the difference between good guys and bad guys?" Arpaio
told the station.
Rater was found a short time later at a local store.
Investigators said he admitted leaving the girl in the desert
and went for a few drinks and a cheeseburger, instead,
according to CBS News.
Rater also told authorities the truck got stuck and he and
his granddaughter had to walk for help because he forgot to
bring his cellphone, according to KPHO TV.
When the girl couldn't walk anymore, Rater said he left her
under a tree with the loaded gun.
Deputies said Rater came across several people while he was
looking for help, but never thought to call 911. The suspect
said he asked people to look for his granddaughter because
he left her in the desert, according to AZCentral.com.
Witnesses at the South Buckeye Equestrian Center said Rater
showed up there around 5:30 p.m. complaining about having to
walk 10 miles. He never mentioned his granddaughter.
Rater's wife told deputies he called her for a pickup an
hour or so later, after consuming a cheeseburger and four
alcoholic beverages.
Rater was booked into a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of
endangerment and two counts of reckless child abuse. He remains
in custody on $25,000 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Terry
Re: Reliable email program
Dear Webby,
I have tried Outlook and Windows Live, and am not
happy with either one. Which email program do you
recommend and use?
Terry
Dear Terry
I still use Eudora, and have used it since 1993.
Never a problem.
Thunderbird is based on Eudora and pretty well the same,
just prettier and has a lot more emoticons.
Either one is fast asnd reliable.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure
anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with
what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the
town grouch.
So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that
he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my
sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin'
to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little, then tells Mr. Smith,
"What you need is jar number 43."
Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders.
So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out,
"This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the
doctor. That will be $100.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.
One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor
along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts,
"I can't remember!"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little and tells Mr. Smith:
"What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled
the office.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Onions Fresh for Months
If you keep your onions completely dry, separated, and hanging,
they will last you for months. Take a washed or new pair of
pantyhose and stack your onions vertically, then store in a
cool dark place. Additionally, if you tie a knot in the hose
between each whole onion, they will touch each other even less,
lasting a bit longer.
By attosa [133]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey.
His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to
look carefully at his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded
the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant.
"Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that
if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"
He was acquitted.
___________________________________________________
 male pole "dancer" - unreal
|
____________________________________________________
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a
92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They
decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En
route, with siren going, they questioned the man to
determine his level of awareness.
Leaning close, one paramedic asked,
"Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"
The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the
ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the
paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
Does anybody read my blunder bit?
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Beautiful landscape photography.
|
Today, November 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament.
Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I.
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden.
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting
to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine.
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later.
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli.
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company.
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third
term in office.
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29.
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally re-opened.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the
Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later.
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at
L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland.
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's
tallest free-standing structure for nine years.
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran.
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving
24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced
to life for treason against the white minority government.
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child
(Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was
shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin,
Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was
sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade
Center bombing.
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit
during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted
in his death and sentenced to prison.
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion
when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA
fight in Las Vegas, NV.
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to
5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town.
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates
from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany.
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and
charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL.
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp.
enjoyed "monopoly power".
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and
Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in
airline services.
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people
and wounded 30 others.
2015 smiled.
|
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( 3 / 784 )
Mail pretending to be from me
Wednesday, November 4, 2015, 08:43 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 4
Thank you, Cindy !
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Indiana man, who was arrested after he assaulted girlfriend
because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered
the anethestic qualities of chloroform.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
A loving person lives in a loving world.
A hostile person lives in a hostile world.
Everyone you meet is your mirror.
--- Ken Keyes Jr.
"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why
the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."
--- Evan Esar
"Economists state their GNP growth projections to the
nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have
a sense of humor."
--- Edgar R. Fiedler
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for
coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the
groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured
by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith,
you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his
hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to
pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?"
"I'm afraid I can't, Sister."
"Do you have any close relatives, then?"
"Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a
spinster nun."
"Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied.
"They are married to God."
"Okay," the man said with a smile, "then bill my
brother-in-law."
______________________________________________________
The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked,
"Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!"
"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.
The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Clyde for this picture:
Strangest picture of Ireland: An Irishman without beer
or whiskey in his hand!
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Bryan Alwine,
27,
Muncie,
Indiana
Indiana man arrested after he assaulted girlfriend
because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper
An Indiana man is facing a domestic battery charge after
allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground during an
argument over toilet paper, cops say.
According to a Muncie Police Department report, the victim
told cops that Bryan Alwine, 27, pushed her so hard that she
“flew” and landed in the street outside the home they share
with their daughter.
The duo had been arguing, the victim said, “over toilet paper.”
Alwine was allegedly upset because the victim had not
purchased his preferred brand of toilet paper.
As first reported by The Star Press, the woman “further
stated that Bryan is very specific on what he likes to use
and that he began yelling at her while they were still
inside the home.”
Officers responding to a 911 call Sunday night noted that
the woman, who appeared “very frightened and nervous,”
had a bloody elbow and a scratched knee. A witness who
called police said that she saw Alwine “put his hands on”
the victim and throw her to the ground.
Alwine, pictured above, was arrested for felony domestic
battery. He was freed from jail Tuesday after posting
$5000 bond. Alwine has previously been arrested for
threatening to kill the victim, who told police that a
“history of violence” between the couple has “gone on
for several years.”
Muncie police reported that the victim is not being
cooperative with investigators.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ann
Re: Mail from me
Dear Webby,
I get all kinds of mail that looks as if I had sent it,
but is definitely not from me.
I do send mail to myself frequently to file and keep,
but these mails are just spam or scams. What can I do
to stop that nuisance aside from changing my Yahoo address?
Ann
Dear Ann
Changing your Yahoo address would help for a while, but sooner
or later that nuisance will start again. We all get those
spam and scam mails.
I use MailWasher
With that I make filters to for example
mail FROM humor@webby.com
that DOES NOT CONTAIN "Humor: " in the subject line
then delete it on the server, automatically, without
even showing it in the list.
That way, when somebody sends a mail pretending to be
from humor@webby.com, but doesn't have "Humor: " in the
subject line, it gets murdered in the dark and sent
straight to hell.
You can send mail to humor@webby.com, just don't pretend
to BE humor@webby.com.
You can have all kinds of code words that will legitimize
an email, for example
DOES NOT CONTAIN RegEx "Recip|Prayr|Shoplis|Gardn"
then nuke it on the server.
You can use all the "Regular Expressions" if you want, but
usually you just use the pipe | to add a bunch of alternates
instead of making separate filters for them.
Then after that you put the appropriate keyword in the
subject line, and that email will be safe.
That trick also helps you to organize your emails and
automatically send mails with "Recip" in the subject line
into your Recipe mailbox. Most email programs let you
do that. So you win twice!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A Navy Chief ('which Navy' will go unspecified) was
being court-martialed for an incident where he was found
to be chased by a young lady through the hallways of the
hotel in which they were both staying.
Neither of them were wearing anything. The charge was
that of "being out of uniform."
The Chief's lawyer argued that the officer was not out
of uniform, as the regulations read:
"A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired
for the activity in which he is engaged."
The charges were dismissed.
---------
Was that you, Jim?
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Homemade Stainless Steel Cleaner
Mix 1/4 cup vinegar, 2 tbsp baking soda, and 1/8 cup
hydrogen peroxide. Add 4-6 cups hot water. Use a clean
cloth. Dip cloth in solution and wring out, leaving cloth
a little sloppy. Wipe down stainless steel with cloth.
Allow to sit a minute. Wipe down with a dry cloth. Then
wipe with a microfiber cloth. Very shiny! This solution
also works to mop linoleum and tile floors and to clean
the bathroom!
By kattt [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
It's a good thing we UNsubscribed Ms Burkenheimer. She
would probably consider this joke dirty.
Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling
sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are
sometimes required to make store-wide announcements,
e.g.,
"I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at
the paint counter."
One night a timid female voice came over the intercom
system with the following message:
"I have a customer by the balls in toys and need
assistance."
___________________________________________________
 true facts about
the octopus (Not to be put in, but I love this guy :-)
|
____________________________________________________
The first time I heard the following story, it was told to me
about 20 years ago by Danny, a former carpet layer. Knowing
what he smoked, I actually believed him.
According to his story, Danny had just finished installing
carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a
smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He
rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt.
While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room
and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the
room.
"No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of
smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get
out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he
was cleaning up, the lady came in.
"Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes.
"I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my
gerbil."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
It’s a personal rule of mine to never litter.
My husband chewed tobacco. While out driving a few years
ago we had a cup with his nasty stuff in it and it turned
over in the car. We cleaned it up as best we could -
no napkins - and our first thought was get rid of this cup
so it doesn’t happen again. We're in the convertible anyway -
he can spit out the window.
I’m thinking - we’re so deep in the countryside now, no
one will know if I throw it. The trees were very close, and
I decided to wait for an opening so the cup wouldn’t bounce
back into our car. As soon as we came to one, I threw, right
into the face of a farmer plowing his field!
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
16 Amazing Stair Hack Ideas.
I love the "reading room."
|
Today, November 4, in
1846 - A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin Palmer.
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered
the anethestic qualities of chloroform.
1880 - James and John Ritty patented the first cash register.
1922 - In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the
lost tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen.
1939 - During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality
stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy
allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents.
1939 - At the 40th National Automobile Show the first
air-conditioned car was put on display.
1942 - During World War II, Axis forces retreated from
El Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for
the British.
1952 - In the United States, the National Security A
gency (NSA) was established.
1956 - Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress
the uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956.
1979 - Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran
and took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The
militants, mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send
the former shah back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages
were later released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months.
1984 - Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years.
1985 - Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was
returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had
been kidnapped by the CIA.
1989 - About a million East Germans filled the streets of
East Berlin in a pro-democracy rally.
1990 - Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to
fight a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait.
1991 - Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in
Simi Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by
President Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter,
Gerald R. Ford and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st
gathering of 5 U.S. chief executives.
1995 - Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old,
was assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after
attending a peace rally.
1999 - The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against
the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The
sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to
turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with
masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in
Kenya and Tanzania.
2001 - Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and
thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture
of sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba
received the first commercial food shipment from the U.S.
in nearly 40 years.
2015 smiled.
|
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( 3 / 732 )
Tuesday, November 3, 2015, 11:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 3
Thank you Hermon !
Thank you Patricia !
Thank you Sig !
Thank you Heather !
Thank you Norma !
If you have trouble getting to sites, that you regularly
go to, like Arcamax or Gocomics, the problem is not at those
sites or at the servers they are on. The problem is that
a bunch of major fiber cable bundles have been cut.
One cut is nenar Kansas City, one is at or near Washington, DC,
and another one I know of is cutting off Newark and all
the data centers connected to the internet backbone there.
There is also a cut in the backbone about 108 km from
Montreal.
How do I know? Did ISIS tell me? No.
I use Traceroute from one of the Webby servers.
You can use the Windows tracert.
Click on START, type cmd and hit ENTER.
In the scary, black DOS style screen, type
tracert webby.com
or any domain you want to check,
for example
traceroute arcamax.com
If you see stars, those are breaks.
If you see 3 stars, that is a cut.
Asia looks even worse!
The Shanghai hub is not accessible.
Tokyo is cut.
Iran and Iraq are out.
India is down to 75%.
Africa is down to 0%,
so is Bulgaria, italy, Poland,Spain,
part of Sweden, and the Milton Keynes part of UK.
Australia is mostly at around 80%, as usual,
but new Zealand is 0%.
South America seems to have recovered except for Colombia.
I have no idea who made all those cuts or who coordinated
the cutting to all happen on the same day.
There is nothing you or I can do about it.
Luckily our servers are not affected.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat
and fake penis, who was arrested for drunk driving.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Men who never get carried away should be.
--- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take
another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had
secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone
so he would have an excuse to leave if something like
this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes,
put on a grim expression and said,
"I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank God," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine
would have had to."
______________________________________________________
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day
that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he
went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that
read, "I'm the Boss."
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found
that someone had taped a note to the sign that said,
"Your wife called. She wants her sign back!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Bonnie for this picture:
Atlantic Ocean in Hampton Beach State Park, NH about
30 miles from my house. Nice day & we enjoyed the
walk on the beach couple weeks ago. Like to share
with y'all.
Bonnie in Candia, NH
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Ross McDonald,
39,
Iowa City,
Iowa
Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat
and fake penis arrested for drunk driving.
After being arrested for drunk driving, a Halloween reveler
wearing only a trench coat and “a piece of cloth that
looked like a penis” attempted to eat toilet paper in a
bid to foil a Breathalyzer test, Iowa police report.
Cops yesterday pulled over Ross McDonald, 39, after they
spotted him driving the wrong way on an Iowa City street
around 3 AM. According to a criminal complaint, McDonald
was “extremely confused” and could not tell officers
“what bar he was coming from.”
McDonald, who claimed to have consumed two drinks, had
bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and unsteady balance,
cops noted. He also appeared to be dressed in a “flasher”
costume: “Def was only wearing a trench coat and a piece
of cloth that looked like a penis.”
Upon arrival at the police precinct, McDonald “attempted
to eat toilet paper, thinking it would mess with” the
Breathalyzer. McDonald had initially refused the breath
test, but “changed his mind after attempting to eat the
toilet paper.”
Despite McDonald’s cunning plan, his blood alcohol content
was measured at .165, twice the legal limit.
Since McDonald has prior drunk driving convictions, he was
hit with a felony charge carrying a maximum five-year
prison sentence. Seen in the above mug shot, McDonald was
released from jail yesterday afternoon after posting
$5000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Hank
Re: Black Screen
Dear Webby,
Still getting black screen when I surf and also stuck cursor.
I tried system restore and it wouldn't work.
Should I install the disc to renew installation?
hank
If you have a restore disk, then that would definitely be
an option.
Some machines have a restore disk in a hidden partition.
Call Support of the manufacturer and ask them to walk you
through a restore.
You have to do that, of course, back up all your data,
spreadsheet files, documents you have written, addresses,
tips and tricks and cheat-sheet files, and your awesome
collection of pussycat pictures.
Also the setup files of all programs and the license numbers
of all the bought ones.
A restore totally wipes out everything you got, and restores
the machine to the same state, that it was when you bought it.
A total back-up like that is of course highly recommended
anyway, even if you are not going to restore just yet.
Before getting quite that drastic, you could try installing
Chrome and then Uninstalling IE and FF.
I would also recommend that you use the DeCrapifier at
https://www.pcdecrapifier.com/ and weed out any program,
that you are not actually using.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A couple was going out for the evening. They were both
ready to go, nice clothes, hair done, perfume, cologne,
cat put out, etc.
The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their
home, the cat shot back into the house. Not wanting
their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while
they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase
the cat out.
Well, the wife did not want anyone to know the house
would be empty for the evening, so she explained to the
taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to
my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and
said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid old ninny was
hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop
to get her to come out."
The cab driver almost hit a parked car.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Picasso Light Switch Plate Cover
Turn a plain white light switch cover into a little Picasso
like painting.
Approximate Time: 25 min
Supplies:
1 light switch cover with screws
1 flat screwdriver
sponge to clean surface on switchplate cover
newspaper
permanent markers or acrylic paint
paint brushes
Steps:
Turn light off. Remove light switch cover if you don't
already have one.
Place down newspaper.
Wipe well with sponge and dry.
Mark basic ouline with black permanent marker, including eye,
nose, and mouth.
Paint and color, use your own ideas and colors. Have fun
creating abstract art known as cubism!
Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer.
When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the
screws to match eye and lips and paint them.
Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer.
When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the
screws to match eye and lips and paint them.
All done! Enjoy your little Picasso like mini painting. :)
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn_-ckw4um8
By KIM HOGGAN [8]
You can, of course, also just glue wallpaper or any picture
onto switch and outlet covers. Spray-on contact cement
works best. Spray the switch cover and the back of the
picture, let it dry a bit, and position it on it.
Trim the edges or fold them under it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom
observing her students while they draw. One little girl is
working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what
she is working on.
"I'm drawing God," the child says.
The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what
God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replies, "They will in a minute."
___________________________________________________
 2015 World Synchro Champs SP Team Canada
|
____________________________________________________
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a
woman: before marriage
and after marriage.
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
In the 1960s I was still very young and working at my very
first job. To supplement my income I cleaned house on
Saturdays for a friend. My friend was quite messy plus he
had a large dog that shed pounds of hair, so it usually
took several hours to clean his apartment. One day I was
about ready to go home when he called to ask if I would
place some chicken in the oven to broil as he'd be home
soon.
Where I grew up we fried chicken, so I knew nothing about
broiling. I asked for instructions and he told me to pull
out the rack, place the chicken on it and turn on the
broiler. It sounded easy enough so I took him at his word
and placed the chicken on the rack and turned on the oven
to “broil.”
About 15-20 minutes later he came home looking forward to
broiled chicken. You're going to have to "picture" this.
What he came home to was chicken laying on the oven rack,
the skin hanging and dripping between the slats!
I had no idea there was a difference in oven racks and
broiler racks. I sure did after I cleaned up the mess!
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Watching these kinetic
sculptures is mesmerizing!
|
Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa.
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself
to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity.
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
England insisted on monopoly rights to sell Opium.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte,
IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger.
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia.
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet
and William C. Durant.
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese
may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S.
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a
supermarket in Chester, NY.
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade
satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into
space, a dog named Laika. There was not enough cooling and the dog
died from heatstroke.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it
became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury.
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death
in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC.
Eight others were wounded.
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the
story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven
American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair.
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran.
1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-ever
face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain.
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two
sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had
been abducted by a black carjacker.
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103.
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor.
2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces.
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution
was unveiled.
2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the
first Disney film completely created with computer animation.
2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 1665 )
Safe download for Open Office
Monday, November 2, 2015, 08:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 2
Thank you Andy !!!
Thank you Carol !
Thank you Virginia !!.
Thank you James !
Thank you Richard !
Thank you Bonnie !
Thank You Gary !!.
Thank you William .
Thank You Svend !.
Thank You Ronald !
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Florida twin women arrested after holding up
convenience store
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 2, in
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with
Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American
Birth Control League.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous
without ability.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
--- David Dunham
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Seen in a State Park in California:
"Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope)
Check the Rock.
If it's wet, it's raining.
If it's moving, it's windy.
If you can't see it, it's foggy.
If rock is gone, it's a tornado."
I wonder if that was inspired by the old 2 foot iron ball
windometer by the bridge outside of Lethbridge, Alberta?
One time driving by there a few decades ago I noticed the
ball was missing and mentioned it to my hitch-hiker.
She didn't think it was safe to drive on up to Calgary.
I agreed with her and we soon found safe and quite
cozy refuge in a really nice motel :-)
______________________________________________________
Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless,
and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather
mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program
asked Florence how she would describe her chili
-- three alarm or four alarm.
After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other
chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine
false alarm."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Gary for this picture:
Hello Webby,
Huckleberry Lake is a favorite fishing spot of mine.
Located in the Absaroka-Beartooth wilderness of Montana.
It was the last picture the old 35mm took before it died.
Feel free to post it if you want.
Gary Lorenzen
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Walter, The Stonecarver for
reporting this one:
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Kirstie Bergeron, Kayla Bergeron
24,
Daytona Beach,
Florida
Florida twins arrested after holding up
convenience store
Twin sisters are locked up on robbery charges after they
allegedly held up a Florida convenience store at gunpoint
Tuesday evening.
According to police, Kirstie Bergeron and her sibling Kayla
walked into the Food Mart store in Daytona Beach and proceeded
to a refrigerator, where Kayla selected a bottle of ginger ale.
The 24-year-old twins then approached the front counter.
“I have a gun, open the register!” announced Kayla, as detailed
in a Circuit Court charging affidavit. “Are you kidding me?”
replied clerk Sabbir Ahmed.
Kayla then “removed her hand from her pocket and displayed
what appeared to be a small handgun,” reported an investigator.
As Kayla pointed the piece at Ahmed, the 37-year-old worker
opened the cash register and Kirstie reached over the counter
and snatched $230.
The Bergerons fled the scene in a black Volkswagen Beetle
that was parked next to the store. But as the twins departed,
Ahmed copied down the car’s license plate number. The siblings
were soon arrested after a traffic stop less than a mile
from the Food Mart.
Kirstie and Kayla are pictured in the above mug shots.
While cops recovered the stolen cash and the ginger ale, no
firearm was found. Police suspect the weapon “may have been
discarded” following the robbery.
Charged with robbery with a firearm or deadly weapon, the
Bergerons are each locked up in the Volusia County jail
on $25,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Sandra
Re: Free Powerpoint
Dear Webby,
For some reason I have micros-soft office Word and Excel,
but no Power Point program. Is it safe to download one of
the free Powerpoint programs without worry about crap getting
on my computer? Thanks, I know it sounds like a 'dumb'
question, but I want no virus or tracking stuff on my
otherwise safe zones; I use both Malwarbeytes and Avast.
Again, I'm so glad your computer guru talents are available
to people like me!
SD
Dear Sandra
Yes, if you go to the vendors directly, it is perfectly safe.
You can get Open Office at
http://www.openoffice.org/download/
They celebrated their 100 MILLIONth download by last month.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
One evening a few years ago my
friend Bill ran out of gas on his way home from work.
Being short on cash, as usual, he walked 6 Miles
to get home, and left his pick-up truck where it sat, in
front of the topless bar next door to the massage parlor.
By then his wife had gone to Bingo and he couldn't get
neither money for gas, nor a ride back to the truck, so
he cooked supper, cleaned up the kitchen and then
went to bed.
At the next church elder meeting, Miss Myrna, the
town gossip ranted on about his immoral conduct and
about how she had PROOF, because she saw where
he had parked ALL night !
Well, Bill told his co-workers about that, and one of
them was a regular at that topless bar. That guy told
the story there. From then on, whenever he or his friends
planned to later take a cab home rather than drive drunk,
they all parked their vehicles in front of Miss Myrna's
lonely house, - and walked half a mile to the bar.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing a Stuck Lid from a Pan
My boyfriend was making burgers and wanted to melt cheese
on top of one with a bun covering it. To melt the cheese
faster, he put a glass lid over the burger and the steam
sucked it into the pan and then it was stuck. I did a Google
search for help without much luck. I left the pan in the
fridge for a few days, took it out today and decided to hit
the side of the pan against the concrete. The lid came out
instantly! Try this instead of other methods and you'll get
your pan back in record time!
By Stacy G. [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old
dance called the Politician.
"All you have to do" she told her class, is this:
two steps forward,
three steps back,
then side-step, side-step,
turn around"
___________________________________________________
 Crazy dog chases it's own leg
|
____________________________________________________
Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of
attending a meeting?
"Just for the halibut."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
The day was already going badly. I'm complaining to Bill
that the milk had been left out all night, it was the last
day to renew car tags, but we needed an inspection and
everybody was closed, the shopping cart at Aldis won’t let
me have my cart nor my quarter back. Then while unloading
groceries I lock my purse and keys in the trunk. As I said,
the day was not good.
I remembered the back seat pulled down, so here I am with
my back killing me, crawling around the back of a small
Cavalier fighting groceries. Finally find my purse and keys,
crawl out and drive home where I have to unload groceries
(about 6 trips) up six steps and into the house. Then there's
laundry and emptying the dishwasher and putting groceries
away. BUT I have to go back to the store because I forgot
we need stuff for the Halloween party for 40+ kids.
I am really feeling sorry for myself and I'm complaining -
crawling around did not help my back. I'm looking for
sympathy, but Bill just questions, Why didn’t you use
the trunk release beside the front seat?
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Best of the month of October, People Are Awesome.
|
Today, November 2, in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor.
1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont, became
the first traitor of the American Revolution when he deserted.
1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded.
1883 Thomas Edison got a patent for an electrical indicator using
the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031).
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first American gasoline powered car contest
1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support for
a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine.
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with
Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American
Birth Control League.
1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia.
1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber.
It was named DuPrene.
1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden airplane,
for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's first and only
flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of the white-gray
color of the spruce used to build it, never went into production.
1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in
a military coup.
1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for
permanent residence in the U.S.
1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey
prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973
murder of a New Jersey state trooper.
1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the U.S.
since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of her
boyfriend.
1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being held in
Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers.
1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of taxicab
service in Princeton, NJ.
1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good because
of fear due to his HIV infection.
1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's
diaries in a sexual harassment probe.
1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up $1.1 billion
in trading losses.
2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The film recorded
the best debut ever for an animated film and the 6th best of all time.
2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the church's
first openly gay bishop.
2015 smiled.
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Saturday, October 31, 2015, 06:46 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 31
End of Summer Time in most of North America.
Let your clocks fall back an hour tonight.
You get an extra hour of sleep.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award
and a Darwin Award goes to a
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 29, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been
educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
--- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think
of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
--- Mark Twain
As you journey through life take a minute every now and then
to give a thought for the other fellow.
He could be plotting something.
--- Hagar the Horrible
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a
ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man
and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied,
"You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"
______________________________________________________
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with
great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the
wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in
the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced
with a wide grin, "For our .hic... clo-shing shong, let ush
shing Hymn # 365: "We Shall Gather at the River."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by
Floyd Ray Cook,
62,
Brookhaven,
Georgia
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out
A fugitive accused of shooting a Tennessee police officer
and firing at a Kentucky trooper was killed in a shootout
with authorities early Friday, ending a nearly weeklong
manhunt.
Floyd Ray Cook, 62, was pronounced dead at the scene near
Burkesville, Ky., after being confronted by state troopers
and a federal marshal who were searching an embankment,
a Kentucky State Police rep says. Cook was armed with a
handgun and exchanged gunfire with the officers, the
rep adds. No officers were injured. Cook was accused
of shooting and wounding an Algood, Tenn., police officer
during a traffic stop last Saturday afternoon and fled
in a black Ford truck.
Just over an hour later, a Kentucky State Police trooper
tried to stop him just beyond the Tennessee state line,
authorities say. Cook tried to speed away but wrecked.
He allegedly opened fire on the officer, missed, and
ran into the woods.
A swath of the border between Kentucky and Tennessee
had since been gripped with fear of the man authorities
described as "armed, dangerous, and desperate."
Convicted of rape in the 1970s, Cook was wanted in
Marion County, Ky., for failing to comply with the sex
offender registry, a sheriff says. He also had previous
convictions for robbery, burglary, assault, and riot,
and he was wanted in Hardin County on an indictment
charging him with trafficking methamphetamine and
tampering with evidence.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Dave
Re: Keystroke recorder
Dear Webby,
I hope all is well. I wanted to know if you have hear of a
program that will allow your computer to record the keystrokes
and then "replay them" (to cut down on repetitive tasks)?
Thanks,
Dave
Dear Dave
There are lots of those. They are usually called macro
recorders. An old one has been in Windows since 3.1, I think.
The XP and up version is described with instructions at
Macro Recorder
Here is a review of the top ten macro recorders:
Top 10
Just pick the one that suits you best.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A mother took her three year old daughter to church for
the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the
choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was
quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice
"Happy Birthday to you!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ice for Getting Gum out of a Dryer
When I found the gum, I didn't want to put a chemical in
my dryer, nor did I want to scrape it with a knife and an
ice cube. Here is how I got gum out of my dryer fast.
I had saved a couple of those plastic fishnet bottle or
candle covers (open at both ends) in my junk drawer. I
took a rubber band and sealed off one end of the plastic
cover. I filled it with ice and sealed off the other end
with another rubber band. I scrubbed using the ice bag
as a sponge and followed with a dry rag. It made quick
work of getting the gum out of the dryer.
By Mary Keenan W. [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
During a rather heated argument a teenager said,
"I didn't ask to be born."
His father: replied,
"Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have
been 'NO!!!'."
___________________________________________________
 Restroom Mirror prank
|
____________________________________________________
After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6
year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest
of the week.
"Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes
care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the
poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in
public isn't an easy job, you know."
The boy thought about that, then said,
"Well, listening ain't easy, either."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
Saturday mornings in St. Louis I'd walk downtown, shop for a
while, eat lunch, catch a movie, and then walk home. This
particular day even though my hair was a mess and really
needed washing, it was very important that I pick up whatever
it was I needed, so I walked downtown. While looking through
the electronics department, I noticed on their television that
there was a lady whose hair was similar to mine and I thought
to myself, well, her hair doesn’t look so bad. The longer I
studied the screen I noticed that her clothes were similar to
my own.
I studied her a while, and I finally realized I was watching
myself. This was the first time I’d ever seen a closed-circuit
TV in use. I had to look around and make sure no one saw me
“admiring” myself before I hurried out.
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
AirShow Budapest
Beautiful town and awesome aerobatics
|
Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany.
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria).
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy.
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been
damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the
stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini
had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and
their ability to withstand hard blows.
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain
prevented Germany from invading Britain.
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work.
At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington,
Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln
were finished.
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered
World War II. More than 100 men were killed.
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb.
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a
revolt against French rule.
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land
an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first
person to set foot on the South Pole.
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth,
TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the
time he was in Moscow, Russia.
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S.
bombing of North Vietnam.
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as
Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.
1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital.
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near
her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv,
was sworn in as prime minister.
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had
been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were
blamed for the murders.
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged
into a northern Indiana farm.
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in
prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence
was reduced to manslaughter.
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms
inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons
of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990.
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA,
killing all 217 people aboard.
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church
signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The
event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of
faith and salvation.
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time.
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of
VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States
supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes.
2015 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 897 )
How do you know a caller is a scammer?
Friday, October 30, 2015, 07:58 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Georgia man, who was arrested after he smashed Waffle House
door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 29, in
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Few things are harder to put up with than the
annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to
guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as
he hesitated.
"I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the
trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten
years younger because of your looks of ten years older
because of your wisdom."
______________________________________________________
HOW FAITHS FIGHT FIRES
Recently, just as an ecumenical gathering was
commencing, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The
building is on fire!"
The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed.
The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"
The Quakers quietly praised God for blessings that fire
brings.
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring that
fire was evil.
The Roman Catholics called Rome for instructions.
The Jews blamed the Christians and demanded they should pay.
The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself."
The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!"
The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.
The Christian Scientists concluded that the toxic fumes
from the burning carpets would kill them before the fire
reached them.
The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson, who was to
appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a
written report.
The Pentecostals danced and sang with joy, "The Pentecostal
fire has come!"
The Unity Students proclaimed the fire had no power over them.
Some Atheists in attendance didn't believe there was a fire.
The Muslims stated it was Ahlla's will.
The Pastafarians grabbed the fire extinguisher, put out
the fire and conrtinued eating their spaghetti.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by
Mitchell Harris Feinberg,
39,
Brookhaven,
Georgia
Man arrested after he smashed Waffle House
door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike
Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, was arrested Sunday morning
after police said he shattered the front door of a Waffle
House in Brookhaven, Georgia.
The reason for the breakfast breaking: He was allegedly
angry the restaurant raised the price for a sausage biscuit
from $1 to $1.50, WSBTV.com reports.
A Waffle House waitress told police that when Feinberg saw
the bill with the 50-cent price hike, he became belligerent
because “someone had only charged him $1 [for a sausage
biscuit] on previous dates,” according to the Atlanta
Journal-Constitution.
Surveillance video reportedly shows the suspect get up from
a corner booth, throw his bill on the floor and kick the
front door on his way out.
When the glass shattered, Feinberg fled the scene, only to
be arrested outside a nearby apartment complex a short time
later.
Police said Feinberg told them he "barely kicked the door”
when it shattered, and said he only kicked it because “he
did not want to open the greasy door with his hand,”
according to the police report.
Feinberg was booked into the DeKalb County Jail on charges
of disorderly conduct, criminal trespass and criminal damage
to property. He remains in custody in lieu of $2,500 bond.
The Brookhaven Police Dept. decided to use the incident as
a teachable moment on Facebook.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Christine
Re: How do you know a caller is a scammer?
Dear Webby,
How do I know a caller is a scammer?
Couldn't it be somebody helpful?
Christine
Dear Christine
Except for close friends, NOBODY legitimate calls you
out of the blue about supposed problems in your computer.
You can ignore those totally phony messages about Microsoft
contacting you if they ever find out why a program locked
up. That's from Windows 3, and they have never contacted
anybody yet, as far as I know.
If the caller claims to be from your ISP, then they are
just as phony. Your ISP does not give a hoot about what
goes on inside your computer, as long as YOU don't call
them.
The same goes for anybody calling and asking any
information "to verify that it is really you."
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Who is known as the "godfather of America"?
German geographer and mapmaker Martin Waldseemueller,
whose book "Cosmographiae Introductio" was first
published in 1507, named the New World "America"
in the mistaken belief that it was Italian navigator
and merchant Amerigo Vespucci who discovered the
new continent.
And the Indians are forever grateful that they were
not discovered while somebody got lost on the way
to Turkey.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sorting Socks into Pairs
The one item I never put into a dryer is socks, because they
always seem to shrink in there. So instead they get hung on
the washing line on good days, or indoors on a foldaway airer
on rainy days. Either way, this makes for a good opportunity
to sort socks into pairs at an optimum time.
It's a job I am sure that most of us hate, but if you do it
as you hang them up it is an absolute breeze to sort out
which matches what. Then very simply bunch the pairs together
as you take them down once they are dry. Have a shoe box or
something similar for odd socks and keep them in there for
a few weeks in case their partners turn up on a subsequent
washday.
By ShirleyE [29]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no
attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was
ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra
loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope
you don't mind Johnny being in there."
"Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in
there. They take some time but are quite effective.
He'll be quiet soon."
___________________________________________________
 The drunk
|
____________________________________________________
On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised
his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and
said, I don't belong here, I should be in third
grade!'
The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told
him to please take his seat. Not five minutes passed
when little Larry stood up again and said, I don't
belong here, I should be in the third grade!'
Larry did this a few more times before the principal
came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem.
The principal told little Larry that if he could
answer some questions that they could decide in which
grade he belonged.
Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the
state capitals and country capitals that the principal
could think of. The teacher suggested they try some
biology questions.
What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?'
asked the teacher.
'Legs!' Larry immediately replied.
What does a man have in his pants that a woman
doesn't?' asked the teacher.
Pockets!' said Larry.
The teacher looked at the principal, who said, Maybe
he should be in third grade, I flunked those last two
questions!'
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
For as long as I can remember I've been plagued with
trying to remember names and faces. All the tried and true
remedies failed.
One day in the checkout lane at a new grocery store, a young
man came up, pushed my cart away, and started bagging my
groceries. I was wondering now how am I going to get them out
to my car, they're way too heavy to carry.
I was about to ask for the cart when he asked if I wanted
help. Irritated, I said yes,ť thinking now that you pushed
my cart away, you CAN take them out for me.
However, he was very pleasant and chatted about what a nice
day it was. I replied that yes it WAS a nice day, I just
needed to find my car. (I also forget stuff like that.)
He responded, "Oh that's okay, I see it."ť
Surprised, I asked, How do YOU know where my car is?"
His reply --
"I'm your next-door neighbor!"ť
Noella
____________________________________________________
 |
Let's arm chair travel
around this big ol' beautiful world we live on. It will only take about a week.
|
Today, October 30, in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established
by Simon Bolivar.
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history.
1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote.
1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman
Silver Purchase Act of 1890.
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper.
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live
news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners.
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing.
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of
approximately 58 megatons.
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase
Social Security spending by $5.3 billion.
1972 45 people were killed when two trains collided in Chicago.
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator
Francisco Franco was near death.
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City:
Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President
Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal
bailout of New York City.
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity
priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four
security officers.
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent
of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York.
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space,
performed the world's first animal dissections in space,
while aboard the space shuttle Columbia.
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian
President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military
still in control.
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a
referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada.
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the
39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided
the plane.
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw out
the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the New
York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks.
2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington Wizards
after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91 to the
New York Knicks.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 1765 )
Phone call about computer problems
Thursday, October 29, 2015, 09:44 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 29
Thank you, Pat!!
Thank you Clyde!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a
Dopey UCSB Student, who died from blood loss
after punching through window
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 29, in
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
The best ideas come as jokes.
Make your thinking as funny as possible.
--- David M. Ogilvy
"Committees have become so important nowadays that
subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work."
--- Laurence J. Peter
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
More than anything, a young man from the city wanted
to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took
pity on him and gave the lad a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We
use it to catch cows."
"I see," said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as
he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for
bait?"
"City Slickers. Cows love chasing and scaring them."
______________________________________________________
The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for
dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow,
eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick,
and then turned to me and a dozen other mysterious
concoctions, and then asked:
"Does this look natural?"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by
Andres Esteban Sanchez,
20,
Poway,
California
Dopey UCSB Student Dies from Blood Loss
After Punching Through Window
UCSB student Andres “Andy” Sanchez died in surgery Sunday
morning at Cottage Hospital two hours after he punched
through a window in his Isla Vista apartment and severely
lacerated his arm.
According to the Nexus report, which relied on information
provided by Senior Deputy James McKarrell with the Isla
Vista Foot Patrol, Sheriff’s deputies responded at approx
4:40 a.m. to the 6700 block of Abrego Road after receiving
calls of a male subject running down the street screaming
for help.
When deputies came upon a panicked Sanchez in a nearby
apartment complex, three people were holding him down and
attempting to calm him. A blanket had been wrapped around
his arm, and when the deputies removed it, they observed
a “cut approximately three-quarter inches in diameter
around his arm.” Witnesses said blood was “literally flying”
from the wound.
Sanchez, a second-year pre-biology major from Poway,
California, was transported to Cottage Hospital but died
from blood loss just before 7 a.m.
One of Sanchez’s roommates told authorities he had rushed
into their apartment earlier in the evening “talking
gibberish, and obviously under the influence of drugs” the
Nexus reported. At some point he punched through a window
and cut his arm on the broken glass.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Francine
Re: Phone call about computer problems
Dear Webby,
You sure saved me some trouble today. I am sure glad I was
able to contact you via Skype while I was on the phone with
the scammer. You were hilarious!
Please tell all the subscribers about our little adventure!
You got a much better way with words than I do.
Francine
Dear Francine
OK, will do.
Francine got a call from somebody with an Indian or Pakistani
accent, telling her that she has problems in her computer,
that are affecting her ISP and the Internet.
Francine is a pretty smart lady and thought that was not
right. So she correctly guessed that my Skype handle is
dearwebby, and contacted me, while stalling the scammer.
As they usually do, he told her to click on START,
type Eventvwr and hit Enter.
Eventvwr is some ancient viewer from troubleshooting
Windows during developing Windows95, and the "events" shown
are totally harmless and of interest only to programmers.
A print job, for example, can generate a dozen or more
Warnings and Errors, before Windows and the Printer agree
on a proper handshake. No big deal. That's how Windows
works.
The scammer tried to scare Francine about the Warnings and
Errors, and I fed Francine smart-ass remarks and dumb
questions to sidetrack the scammer.
Needless to say, she did not download anything and did not
agree to anything. The scammer wanted her to download
a program, so that he could reach into her computer and
"assist" her in fixing the problems. Yeah, right.
Much fun was had by us giving the scammer the runaround.
After we tired of that nonsense, Francine told the scammer
what to do with a Billy-Goat.
If you get a call from anybody telling you that you have
problems in your computer, don't download anything, don't
go visit any pages, don't agree to anything, and don't give
them any information, no correct information anyway.
Play stupid, difficult, paranoid, aggressive, whatever.
Just don't cooperate.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
On their 40th wedding anniversary, during the banquet,
the husband was asked to give his friends a brief
account of the benefits of a marriage of such long
duration.
One in the crowd said, "Tell us, just what is it you
have learned from all those wonderful years with your
wife?"
The husband said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is
the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty,
meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness . .
and a lot of other disciplines that you wouldn't
have needed if you had stayed single."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Uses for Mint Tins
I hate to throw away those cute mint tins so I've come up
with a few idea's to use them in the car or purse.
I put in some almonds/cashews (or your favorite) nuts to
keep in the car for when I get a snack urge. Then I don't
buy junk food......as often~
I also keep a few of my husband's meds in a tin, then if
we are out visiting and stay over, he always has them!
I bring along my vitamin supplements that I take. I also
bring along chewable vitamins like calcium chews or
gummies for adults that we never seem to want to take at
home and have them on the road. Then our gummy snack is
actually a healthy one!
It's a great mini first aid kit and can hold quite a number
of band aids, ibuprofen, alcohol wipes, etc.
I always keep a $20 bill and a number of quarters in the car
as well. You could lose a wallet, run out of gas without
your credit card, need toll money. You never know!
If you like to take spontaneous hikes or nature walks, a tin
with a few additional items like: a whistle, matches (and the
relighting birthday candles!) plus a pocket knife, mirror
(for signaling if lost) are great to carry along!
These are ideas for just the car/purse, in the house the
options are endless!
So don't throw out those tins!
By Donna [291]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
We stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought us
each a bowl of soup.
As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen, Pa
stopped him, calling: "Waiter!"
"Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?"
"The soup. Taste it," replied Pa.
"I beg your pardon, Sir?"
"Taste it."
"But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
"Taste it," Pa persisted.
"Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest
ingredients."
"Taste it!"
The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right,
Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "
___________________________________________________
 I GOT this dance!
|
____________________________________________________
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased
that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly
led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said.
"I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better
than any I ever had over there."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use
domestic cheese. Ours is imported."
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
The year was 1974, I didn't have a crock pot or any other
modern kitchen doodads. I had just moved into a new apartment
and equipping a kitchen was the least of my concerns. As long
as the oven made heat and the fridge made cold, I was satisfied.
Anyway, a friend was coming over for dinner so I had to draw
from my scant culinary skills. PBJ sandwiches came to mind but
I was able to fend off the thought. I'd heard that you could
put a roast in the oven, turn it on to 200 F (93.3 C), and let
it cook all day. Sounded okay to me so in the oven went the
roast and I left for work.
Eight hours later, I drove up to my apartment (an old house
that was divided into units) and as I'm getting out of the car,
I'm wondering what IS that odor? The closer I got to my door,
the stronger it became. I followed the plume to a white oven
that was now several endearing shades of brown. As if the
experience hadn’t done enough damage to my ego, I proceeded to
open the oven door. I didn't see how any more smoke could be
in there, but my judgment was about to take the same beating my
ego had suffered. There was a big enough cloud in there to darken
all the adjacent apartments and then some! After gaining some
modicum of composure, I grabbed a pair of pot holders and blindly
reached around for the pan that held my roast. I found it just as
I was ready to collapse from smoke inhalation and carried it out
to the front porch. I tried to take the lid off but It wouldn't
budge. After several minutes of praying and prying with a screwdriver,
I was finally able to pop the lid. Once the smoke from inside the pan
had cleared, I saw what had happened to my beautiful roast. I poked
it with the screwdriver and found that it went all the way through to
the air beneath the crust. Ninety five percent of my beautiful
roast was billowing out of my apartment windows - the other five
percent was in my lungs. It had not been a good day.
I later discovered that my oven had one tiny eccentricity. No matter
what I set it for, it cooked at 550 F (288 C). If I had gone to my
mail box, it would have been done by the time I got back.
Those PBJ sandwiches were sounding better by the minute.
____________________________________________________
 |
18 reasons you
should never travel to Chiapas.
|
Today, October 29, in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that
had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy
against King James I.
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth.
1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was
the founder of Pennsylvania.
1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded.
1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley,
was electrocuted.
1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution
of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal,
later known as Kemal Ataturk.
1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the
Wall Street stock market.
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S.
1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went
on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price
of $12.50 each.
1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez
Canal Crisis.
1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use
close-circuit television.
1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight.
1966 The National Organization for Women was founded.
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all
school segregation.
1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records.
He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him
over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season.
1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding
discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or
marital status
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's
regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during
its occupation of Kuwait.
1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an
asteroid (Gaspra).
1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to
pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President
Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power.
1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the
Food and Drug Administration.
1995 Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers became the NFL's
career leader in receiving yards with 14,040 yards.
1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission
condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the
African National Congress.
1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn
on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the
first American to orbit the Earth.
1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for
$2 million at a New York auction.
2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV
network telecast.
2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 1121 )
Wednesday, October 28, 2015, 07:21 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 28
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man, who was arrested for attacking a
Karaoke DJ over mic volume
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly
pathetic that it has to be us.
--- Jerry Garcia, (of the Grateful Dead)
"The nine most terrifying words in the English
language are, 'I'm from the government and
I'm here to help.'
--- Ronald Reagan
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The basketball coach stormed into the university
President's office and demanded a raise right then and
there.
"Please," protested the college President, "you
already make more than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put
up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an
example."
The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock
who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my
office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out
of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President,
scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."
______________________________________________________
Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing
his wedding ring. She asked,
"Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?"
He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."
She answered back, "It's supposed to!"
______________________________________________________
Kansas
My friend shared this tree with me. I thought you might enjoy it too.
Be safe and careful. You are a valued person.
Janice
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Joshua Fort,
26,
DeBary,
Florida,
Florida man was arrested for attacking
Karaoke DJ over mic sound
The only record this karaoke singer will have is a
criminal one.
A man in DeBary, Florida, was arrested Thursday morning
after police said he assaulted a karaoke DJ at Blackie's
Bar.
Joshua Fort, 26, was performing the Jay Z and Justin
Timberlake jam "Holy Grail' with another man, when he
sounded a discordant note at the job being done by DJ
Omar Isaac, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.
Police said when Isaac didn't pump up the volume on
Fort's microphone, the suspect responded in a way that
speaks volumes.
First, Fort grabbed the DJ’s laptop computer and slammed
it shut. Then witnesses said the suspect threw a glass at
Isaac that hit the DJ on the side of his head.
Fort is also accused of pulling the DJ to the dance floor
and throwing him on the ground there, according to WNDB.com.
Fort fled the scene, but later turned himself into the
Volusia County Jail, where he was charged with aggravated
battery with a deadly weapon. He was released on $5,000 bond.
The suspect told police he ran from the karaoke bar because
because he “knew he was going to be in trouble” and that
“everyone would point fingers at him,” according to a police
report obtained by WNDB.com.
Before his arrest, he was treated at a local hospital for
injury to his left hand.
Because the alleged crime centered around karaoke, the
Florida Sun-Sentinel suggested the suspect be shipped off
to Sing Sing.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Neil
Re: Tracker PDF editor
Dear Webby,
PDF Exchange does have a free version that is likely to be
close to the same as Nitro. On their main page, in the
upper left corner just below the banner is a graphic that
says Get Free PDF Viewer now. If you click on that graphic
it will download the free viewer. I liked their product
so much that I purchased it, but I have many pdf docs that
I must edit and annotate.
http://www.tracker-software.com/
Neil
Dear Neil
Thank you for that info!
Marlene also reported on that:
"this is a program I have used for several years.
this version is free"
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A minister was planning a wedding at the close
of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction he had planned to call the
couple down to be married for a brief ceremony
before the congregation. For the life of him, he
couldn't think of the names of those who were
to be married. So he simply asked:
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?"
Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows,
tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal
wedding gown stepped to the front.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Molasses Sugar Cookies
This is a crisp spice cookie. I make them every Christmas
and give some away for gifts. They were my late mother's
favorite and it reminds me of her when I make them.
Approximate Time: About 15 minutes plus 1 hour chilling
and 8-10 min.baking time
Yield: Approximately 3 doz.
Ingredients:
3/4 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg
2 tsp baking soda
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
Steps:
Melt the shortening in a 3 or 4 quart saucepan over low heat.
Remove from heat and let cool. Then add sugar, molasses and
egg and beat well using an electric hand mixer.
In a separate bowl combine the flour with the rest of the
dry ingredients.
Mix the wet and dry ingredients together. Chill for 1 hour.
Form into 1 inch balls and roll in granulated sugar.
Place on a greased cookie sheet, a silicon mat or parchment
paper. Space about 2 inches apart.
Bake at 375şF for 8-10 minutes.
Source: A recipe on the bottle of Brer Rabbit Molasses
By Diana W. [12]
You can drastically cut down on the sugar and increase
molasses to get traditional soft gingerbread cookies.
You have to add more flour until you can roll the dough
into balls. They will melt into flat cookies in the oven.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from
Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of
Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and
found out the cost was $200 one-way.
Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a
sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now
Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he
lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100.
Well during the flight, he talking with the passenger
seated next to him. And, in the course of their little
chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party
his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked
fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear
that part of the conversation and remembered from the
passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid
half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked
Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him.
Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only
have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive
in Boston.. Why you ask?"
Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this
used parachute."
Jean-Claude, "What for?"
Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over
18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave
now."
___________________________________________________
 the internet cloud is not where you think
|
____________________________________________________
A passenger train in California is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor
walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The
woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened?
Did we catch up with the cow again?"
----------------
Yeah, I remember a train like that in Austria.
It had little porches at each end of the wagons
and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train
is in motion is not permitted."
Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the
flower pickers passed the train.
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
Out of Cascade? Wanna know what happens when you use about
a quarter-cup full of Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher?
Well, I did one day!
I'm in my bedroom curling my hair to go somewhere, and I
hear one of the twins in the kitchen. "Uh, Noella? I think
you need to come in here."
"Why? You guys need to get ready."
"Uh, Noella? There's suds all over the floor, Lots of suds,
they're covering the whole floor!"
I groan, walk into the kitchen, and sure enough, there ARE
suds all over the floor. They're headed for the computer sitting
on the floor just a few feet away.
The boys bring lots of towels from the bathroom and I call my
husband, who is laughing his head off. His solution - get out
my Rainbow (dust and dirt is sucked into a container of water)
and start vacuuming the water out.
You know what happens when you vacuum suds with a Rainbow?
The motor starts sounding funny. So, I shut it off and open it,
to find that it took the water out of the dishwasher okay but
now suds are way up in the motor. I did remember the salesman
told us that if that ever happened, disconnect from the water
housing and run dry. Now not only is the floor still covered
with suds, there's more water plus oil on the floor. And we've
got to be somewhere in just a few minutes!
Moral of the story is - unless you want to use LOTS of towels
to sop up water, never, ever use Dawn dish soap in your
dishwasher!
____________________________________________________
 |
Someone had a lot of time on their hands centuries ago!
|
Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the
American Revolutionary War.
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor
by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and
is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty
Enlightening the World."
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use
fingerprinting.
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known
as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in
1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S.
Constitution.
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government
and introduced fascism to Italy.
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece.
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that
he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba.
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective
guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO,
was completed.
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard
Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin
serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions.
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply
deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada.
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled
guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union.
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion
pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug
after the government of France demanded it do so.
1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing.
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a
complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders.
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the
troops there would be home by Christmas.
2015 smiled.
|
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Tuesday, October 27, 2015, 06:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 27
Thank you Jim H.!!!!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Iowa man, who was arrested after stealing a taxi
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the
first Quakers to be executed in America.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Statistics: The only science that enables different
experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter
playing "wedding."
The wedding vows went like this:
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say
will be turned around and used against you, you have
the right to have an attorney present.
You may kiss the bride today."
______________________________________________________
Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes
towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My
husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them
'reruns'."
"You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a
Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!"
"That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady.
"My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jim Hetrick for sending this picture, taken by
Don Hole, one of his former students, who works the midnight
shift at the Outer Banks Fishing Pier.:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Luis Orellana-Rivera,
26,
Des Moines,
Iowa
Iowa man was arrested after stealing a taxi
An Iowa resident arrested for stealing a taxi moments after
his release from a Des Moines hospital told cops that he
boosted the ride because he did not want to walk the six
blocks to his residence.
According to police, Luis Orellana-Rivera, 26, hopped into
a running cab parked outside Mercy Medical Center. The taxi
driver told cops that he pulled up to the hospital’s front
doors and left the car running as he made a delivery to the
blood bank.
Pictured in the above mug shot, Orellana-Rivera allegedly
swiped the car around 6:15 AM Friday, immediately after
his discharge.
Shortly after the taxi’s owner reported the vehicle stolen,
Des Moines Police Department cops used GPS data to locate
the Ford Crown Victoria, which was parked less than a mile
from the hospital.
Orellana-Rivera was arrested as he exited the vehicle, which
was in a lot behind his former residence. A “friend/former
roommate” told police that Orellana-Rivera “has been having
mental issues lately due to drug usage,” and has been
“delusional and paranoid.”
Orellana-Rivera, who had the cab’s keys in his pants pocket,
told police that he opted to steal the car instead of walking
home from the hospital. Orellana-Rivera, who spent about
six hours at the medical center, was wearing a hospital
bracelet and had a pulse oxygen device still attached to
his finger when apprehended.
Orellana-Rivera was arrested for felony theft and jailed
in the Polk County lockup (where he is being held in lieu
of $5000 bond).
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Edith
Re: PDF form fillers
Dear Webby,
You mentioned Nitro PDF program a couple of weeks ago.
My sister told me to get PDF-Exchange from Tracker-software.
What is the difference?
Edith
Dear Edith
If you just want to fill an occasional form, then the Nitro
will be cheaper. They have a free Reader, that has limited
"typing" abilities. For buying stuff or filling out your
taxes, that's good enough.
PDF-Exchange has no free version that i can see, but they
have much better typing and editing abilities.
If you are writing e-books and want to do fancy formatting,
then you might want to check out the PDF-Exchange.
You would still write the e-books with Open Office or WORD,
and save them as PDF. However, since neither of those two
are that good for picking up a PDF file and edit it,
an editor like Nitro or PDF-Exchange are handy for quickly
fixing a typo instead of opening the word processor doc,
fixing the typo, and saving it as PDF again.
And of course, filling forms is much easier with a
dedicated PDF program like those two.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A dog thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me,
provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me,
and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods!
A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me,
provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me,
and take good care of me . . . I must be a God!
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use a Splatter Screen For Popcorn
Here is a tip to release the aroma of popcorn but protect it
from anything entering. Simply use a splatter screen cover.
Great for home, picnics, or parties!
By KIM HOGGAN [6]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger
noticed a sign saying:
DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!
posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old
hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between
the door and the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are
supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused.
"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to
me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that
sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their
teeth out on the counter."
___________________________________________________
 GoPro: Backflip Over 72ft Canyon
|
____________________________________________________
I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby
pay phone. "I know it's something you want,"
he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are
a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing.
As long as you're living in my house, I think you
should respect my wishes."
I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly
firmness.
Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma,
you're 87 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo and a
nose ring!"
____________________________________________________
Noella's Blunders
It's not a cooking story, but here's one:
I have several friends who consider themselves to be very
spiritual.ť They advised that I should watch the sunrise
every morning — that it would be a very spiritual experience
for me. It sounded good, so the next morning I got up early
enough to catch it.
I was still lying in my bed when I looked out the window and
saw the most beautiful yellow light ever. I gazed on that sun
as it was rising in the sky and felt an awesome sense of peace.
Then it slowly dawned on me that the sun wasn't rising.
I went to the window to check it out and found myself staring
at the light pole across the street!
I had a really spiritual epihany when I saw the light.
It was time to clean the windows.
____________________________________________________
 |
Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage
|
Today, October 27, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the
first Quakers to be executed in America.
1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York
City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other
seven failed.
1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed
of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George
"Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence
to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted.
1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was
the first rapid-transit subway system in America.
1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis.
1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in
New York.
1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at
26' 2 1/4".
1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its
new synthetic yarn.
1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring
Grouch Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on
NBC television.
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced.
They had been married on January 14, 1954.
1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis
by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis
in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new
aspect of the agreement.
1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime
Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the
Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving
a Middle East accord.
1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the
U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for
the first time in American history.
2002 Emmitt Smith (Dallas Cowboys) became the all-time
leading rusher in the NFL when he extended his career
yardage to 16,743. He achieved the record in his 193rd
game. He also scored his 150th career touchdown.
2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of
Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected
leftist leader.
2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy
FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second
largest banking company in the U.S.
2015 smiled.
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How to clear the cache in Chrome
Monday, October 26, 2015, 07:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 26
Thank you Shalla
Back in the saddle again.
Next injections are on January 8.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Drunk collegian, who called 911, claimed she is "Olivia Pope"
and then warned cop of car bomb heading for White House
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone,
AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and
Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
In general, the art of government consists of taking
as much money as possible from one party of the
citizens to give to the other.
--- Voltaire (1764)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the unit
that responded to a call from Coffee County late
one night. They arrived on the scene and found
a severely injured man lying at the edge of a
field. His stomach had been completely torn
open, and he was covered with lacerations and
bruises. He also had a prominent tire tread
across his chest.
The injured man's companion showed up in a
racing model ATV vehicle, clearly intoxicated,
and gave the following account. Imagine this
tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent.
He and his injured friend had been drinkin'
and ridin' around the field on the three-wheeled
ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer
in their headlights. The friend, riding the
back as a passenger,was struck with a great
idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter off
one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The
driver thought this was an entertaining idea, so
he proceeded to isolate a buck and race him
down.
His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap
from the ATV, grab the buck by the antlers,
and perform an excellent example of this
rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to
the ground, but that's when things went
wrong. The buck, less docile than a steer,
simply got up, threw his head back, and
tore his assailant's belly open. The deer
then proceeded to stomp, kick, and butt
him for good measure.
The EMTs noticed that this information
accounted all of the injuries except one.
When they asked the driver about the
tire track across his injured friend's chest,
he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed
to git the deer off 'im?"
______________________________________________________
The closest to perfection anyone ever comes
is when he or she fills out a job application
form.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jim Hetrick for this picture:
A picture of the "fall leaves in Ohio."
Enjoy and again thanks for all.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Kelsey Cousins,
20,
Iowa
Drunk collegian calls 911, says she is "Olivia Pope"
and then warns cop of car bomb heading for White House
An Iowa collegian who is apparently a big fan of booze and
TV’s “Scandal” called 911 early this morning claiming to be
“Olivia Pope,” and reported a sighting of “Cyrus Beene”
outside an Iowa City bar, police say.
Cops responding to the 2:45 AM emergency call were flagged
down by Kelsey Cousins, a 20-year-old University of Iowa
student who is a member of the school’s rowing team.
Officer Brad Reinhard reported that Cousins, seen above,
“kept talking about ‘Olivia Pope’ and about a car with a
bomb in it that was heading to the White House.” The cop
added that, “‘Olivia Pope’ is a television show character
and everything that defendant stated was nonsensical and
rambling.”
Actress Kerry Washington stars in “Scandal” as Pope, a
Beltway fixer and presidential mistress. The “Cyrus Beene”
character, played by Jeff Perry, is a scheming manipulator
who was fired from his post as White House chief of staff.
The underage Cousins, according to a police report, smelled
of alcohol, suffered from impaired speech and balance, and
had bloodshot, watery eyes. She reportedly copped to
drinking and possessing a fake ID.
Following her arrest for public intoxication, Cousins, seen
above, took a Breathalyzer test that registered her blood
alcohol content at .206, more than twice the legal limit.
She is also facing a second misdemeanor charge for misuse
of the 911 system.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Samantha
Re: Clear Cache
Dear Webby,
Every time I have a problem getting to certain sites, that
are up and working, because friends tell me they have no
problem getting to them, the ISP's tech support tells me
to clear the browser cache. When I was still using IE,
I used to know how to do that, not that it ever made any
difference, but I knew how to do that. Now, with Chrome
I have no clue about how to clear the cache.
Second question: Is there a way I can tell whether they are
just full of BS and are just giving me the run-around while
they go ask mom how to fix the fluck-up at the station?
Samantha
Dear Samantha
On Chrome,click the three horizontal bars at the right top.
That opens the menu. In there click HISTORY.
In History, click CLEAR BROWSING DATA
In the next panel click EMPTY CACHE
You could set the time interval to Beginning of time, but
that is silly, since if tehre had been a cache problem,
it would be with a recently cached site.
Re 2: yes, they are usually full of BS if they tell you
to clear the cache.
The easiest way to prove that is to bypass the browser and
use tracert.
Click on Start
type cmd and hit enter.
Let's assume you are trying to get to webby.com/humor
On the scary black screen that opens, type
tracert webby.com
and hit Enter.
Don't type any part after the actual domain name.
After a few seconds you will see the route information
appearing one line after another.
Just getting to your ISP is usually the slowest.
Eventually, the trace will wind up at the target domain.
If you get there without any potholes (stars), then
the route is clear.
However, if there are potholes, or roadblocks (3 stars),
then the route is obstructed, and the problem is NOT in
your browser's cache, since you didn't even use your browser.
To copy the trace route is a bit tricky, since it is in
DOS format, unchanged from the 80's.
Right-click on the top frame bar, select EDIT,
and in there select MARK
Then use the mouse to highlight the trace route,
and hit ENTER
Then you can go to your email and with CTRL V paste the
trace route.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The new Librarian decided that instead of checking
out children's books by writing the names of
borrowers on the book cards herself, she would
have the youngsters sign their own names. She
would then tell them they were signing a
"Contract" for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a second grader, who looked
surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four
books to the desk and shoved them across to the
Librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The Librarian pushed the books back and told him
to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his
name on each book card and then handed them to her
with a look of utter disgust.
Before the Librarian could even start her speech
he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had
knew how to write herself!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Paperclip as Collar Stay
My son has to wear dress shirts to work and I launder them
myself. He loses those little plastic collar stays all the
time. He discovered a paperclip works like a charm! It's not
quite as long but just as effective and easier to remove
before washing. If this tip wins, I promise to give him the
prize. He's saving for grad school.
Source: My son's brilliant mind and necessity
By Beth Pierpont H. [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to
open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had
been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember
it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked
for help.
The pastor came into the room and began to turn the
dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared
blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely
heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he
looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the
final number, and opened the lock.
The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith,
pastor," she said.
"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a
piece of tape on the ceiling."
___________________________________________________
 when neighbors
complained about noise, this is what they found
|
____________________________________________________
Billy Bob and Bubba fly to Alaska for a fishing trip.
They hire a bush pilot and rent a boat, rods, and
tackle. After two weeks they have caught only one
salmon.
''MAN Bubba," Billy Bob says, "Do you realize this
lousy fish cost us about $15000 apiece."
'Wow," Bubba replies, 'At that rate it's a good thing
we only caught one of them!"
____________________________________________________
 |
Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage
|
Today, October 22, in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000.
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine.
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone,
AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and
Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang.
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden.
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz
during World War II.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The
battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the
Pacific phase of World War II into sight.
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from
40 to 75 cents an hour.
1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain.
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner
from New York City to Paris.
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis
by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to
not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey.
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26
years on the Peacock Throne.
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared,
"Peace is at hand" in Vietnam.
1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially
visit to the United States.
1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed
at Edwards Air Force Base in California.
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by
Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency.
1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head
of state to visit Egypt.
1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born
with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the
animal heart.
1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet
embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their
arms race.
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it
was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is
used to induce abortions. The French government made the company
reverse itself two days later.
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The
whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack.
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points.
1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal
correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a
six-month sentence for cocaine possession.
1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the
company recorded its highest losses in history.
1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was
designed to unify the country.
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding
the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central
figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal.
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel
Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty.
1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th National
Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York Islanders in his
605th game. He became the second-fastest player to attain the plateau.
Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his 575th NHL game.
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead.
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense
contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the
"joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history.
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist
rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all
50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds.
2015 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 584 )
W8 script error on start-up
Friday, October 23, 2015, 07:46 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my
eyeballs. That means no Saturday, Sunday and Monday
newsletters will be sent out.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
SC teen arrested after his rape victim
bit off his tongue.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote
with a march in New York City, NY.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
--- Bruce Grocott (1940 - )
"The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have
enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or
not."
--- George Bernard Shaw
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Customer: "I'd like an under the mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large
variety, $1.95 each."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my
computer?"
Salesperson: "Hmmm, have you got one of those
new Intels ?"
Customer: "Yes, it says Intel inside, it's a 17"."
Salesperson: "Then you better get one of these
$29.95 mousepads"
Customer: "But, is it Y2K approved ?"
Salesperson: "Well,...to be on the safe side, maybe
you should better get one of these bue ones for
$49.95."
______________________________________________________
Bulletin Board Bloopers:
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to
make calls on people who are not afflicted with any
church.
---------------------------
The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
---------------------------
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the
delight of the audience.
---------------------------
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing
services will be discontinued until further notice.
---------------------------
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great
success. Special thanks are due to the minister's
daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano,
which as usual fell upon her.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Antoine Tremane Miller,
16
North Charleston,
South Carolina
SC teen arrested after his rape victim
bit off his tongue
-As she fought off a sexual assault from an intruder, a
South Carolina woman bit off her 16-year-old attacker’s tongue,
according to a police report detailing the harrowing home
invasion.
The 33-year-old victim told South Charleston cops that the
knife-wielding teen forced his way into her residence early
Friday morning. While grappling with the attacker, the
victim was knocked to the floor and punched several times.
She told investigators that the assailant declared,
“Stop fighting and I won't hurt you.”
The intruder then carried the woman to a bedroom and
attempted to remove her shorts, police say. But the victim
fought back and kicked the teen in the groin, which
incensed him. "Now you have to die!" the assailant said,
according to the report.
As the attacker forcibly “shoved his tongue down in her
mouth,” the woman “bit...as hard as she could until she
heard it snap,” cops noted. The screaming assailant then
fled the bedroom, recalled the victim, who told police
that when she got off the bed, “the suspect’s tongue was
still in her mouth and she threw it on the kitchen floor.”
Upon arriving at the woman’s residence, police discovered
blood in the bedroom, as well as the severed tongue (which
was placed into a bag of ice). Cops also found a knife in
the home’s yard. The victim, investigators noted, had a
bruise around her right eye with swelling and scratches
on her knee and foot.
Shortly after the attack, the teenager was located at a
nearby Waffle House. Cops were dispatched to the restaurant
after the suspect’s mother called 911 to report her son
“not having a tongue and needing medical assistance.”
Police have identified the attacker as Antoine Tremane
Miller, a North Charleston resident. The teenager, who
has been charged as an adult, is jailed without bond on
felony counts of criminal sexual conduct, assault,
burglary, and weapons possession.
Miller, seen in the above mug shot, was treated at a
North Charleston hospital, but a police spokesperson
declined to say whether the teen’s tongue--which
police transported to the hospital--was reattached.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Walter
Re: Unresponsive Script on W8
Hi Dear Webby,
I appreciate your looking into whether you can find a cure
for the bothersome "Unresponsive Script" window popping up
continually on my 8.1 laptop.
I gave the computer to the Geek Squad for a possible solution,
If they find one I'll let you know.
Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
Dear Walter
I found this:
A file called IEFrame.dll has registration problems. Every
DLL file is registered in the system registry. The problem
arises when IEFrame.dll file registration entries gets
corrupted.
In this case there is a manual way to resolve this issue.
Unregister and reregister the file again as shown here:
1. Click the Start button.
2. Point to All Programs | Accessories.
3. Right click Command Prompt.
4. Select "Run as administrator".
5. Execute below commands-
regsvr32 actxprxy.dll
regsvr32 oleaut32.dll
regsvr32 ole32.dll
Regsvr32. Ieframe.dll
6. When you're done, type EXIT and press ENTER.
If this does not fix your problem, the best way would be to
use Quick-Fix Patch.
It scans the whole system for problems related to DLL
registration, missing file, and so on. It would take a minute
or two to repair it automatically.
UNinstalling IE would probably also take care of the problem.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
>From Joan in Minnesota.
The Canadian Geese are back, a big event there.
Next come the Winnebagos.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Stuffed Peppers
An easy fall dish that's healthy and delicious!
Approximate Time: 90 minutes
Yield: 2-3 servings, 6 pepper halves
Ingredients:
3 bell peppers
1/2 cup brown rice
1 small onion, diced
1 cup crushed tomatoes
12 oz extra lean ground beef (I used 95%)
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 Tbsp garlic salt
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
Steps:
Slice the peppers in half length wise and scoop out seeds
and pith. Rinse and set in a baking dish, cut side up.
Saute' garlic and onion in olive oil for 5 minutes or until
softened. Add in ground beef and cook until brown.
Cook rice as directed. Add in tomatoes, garlic salt, and
ground beef mixture in last 5 minutes of cooking.
Bake peppers alone for 15 minutes at 350 F. Then spoon
stuffing mixture evenly over peppers, returning to oven to
bake for 30 minutes at 400 F.
Add mozzarella cheese evenly over peppers. Broil for 5 minutes
or until browned.
Serve up with tomato sauce if desired.
Link: www.triingforbalance.blogspot.com
By Rae [1]
That takes less skill but quite a bit more work than
regular, old-fashioned stuffed peppers.
For those, hollow out the peppers, and
for the beef use regular ground beef. It is cheaper and
has much more flavor.
Murdering onions by just softening them would get you
yelled at in my kitchen. Sautee them properly until they
are hazelnut brown! Gently stir them while you do that,
so that they don't get black edges. NO email-checking
during the sauteeing!
For the rice, DO NOT cook it as directed!
That produces a silly mush after baking. If you nuke
the rice, deduct a minute, and don't let it steep covered
like you would if you use it as a side dish!
Mix the rice and the rest of the ingredients except cheese
and stuff it into the hollowed out peppers.
That is why they are called stuffed peppers.
when full, add the cheese and cap it with the original
top after carving off the seed pith.
Add a cup of slightly watered down pasta sauce,
about 3/4 to 1 inch high in the casserole or crock pot.
I drain the "spiced, crushed tomatoes" a bit and use that
liquid to thin down the pasta sauce.
Bake in the oven in a casserole at 350 for 25 minutes
or in a crock pot for a few hours.
THEN you get proper, old-fashioned STUFFED Peppers,
that taste just like your gramma's stuffed peppers did.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A number of children from the neighborhood were
invited to Mrs. Johnson's for dinner. She decided to do
something different while serving the meal.
"Where are you originally from?" she asked one child.
"California," said the boy.
"Well then, I will give you the left wing."
She turned to another boy and asked, "Where are
YOU from?"
"New York," he answered.
And she said, "You get the right wing."
She turned to the third boy and asked, "Where are
you from?"
He said, "I'm from New Orleans and I ain't hungry!"
___________________________________________________
 when neighbors
complained about noise, this is what they found
|
____________________________________________________
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda
notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her,
"Is something bugging you? You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and
life savings in the stock market," Jill explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure
you're feeling sorry for him."
"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
____________________________________________________
 |
There’s an annual Straw Art
Festival in Japan and it looks awesome!
|
Today, October 22, in
1910 - Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a
public solo airplane flight in the United States.
1915 - Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to
vote with a march in New York City, NY.
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression.
1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive
against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began.
1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet
occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary
and eventually suppress the uprising.
1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the
Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor
due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for
writing "Dr. Zhivago".
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine"
of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of
American States (OAS).
1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began
overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon."
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat
Communist China.
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the
subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair.
1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility
when they exchanged treaty ratifications.
1980 The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin
was announced.
1984 "NBC Nightly News" aired footage of the severe drought
in Ethiopia.
1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of
Soviet rule.
1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor
to stand on Chinese soil.
1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill
Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn Bosnia.
1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian
Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace
West Bank accord.
1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II.
2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010,
it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars.
2015 smiled.
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( 3.1 / 468 )
Thursday, October 22, 2015, 09:46 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 22
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida couple arrested after they left
name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and
suspicious of men who try to.
--- H. Mumford Jones (1892 - 1980)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Jean
Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes
of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"
The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."
The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever.
I had five."
The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as
last time."
The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12
riders today."
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who
had heard the old guys talking about their game went to
the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time
and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but
what's a rider?"
The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough
to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."
______________________________________________________
Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an
expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed
Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.
The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the
Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied
that he would.
The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer
again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Megan Ohara, 24
David Ziskowski, 19
Palm Beach,
Florida
Florida couple arrested after they left
name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery
Authorities say a man and woman left the woman's name and
telephone number in the guestbook of a South Florida art
gallery before stealing about $6,000 worth of jewelry.
Palm Beach police say 24-year-old Megan Ohara and 19-year-old
David Ziskowski took a bracelet and a ring Sunday from the
Attila JK exhibition at the ICFA Gallery. They were spotted
a short time later at a nearby grocery, and police reported
finding the jewelry in the woman's purse.
Officers found multiple fake email addresses and at least
one obscene drawing in the gallery's guestbook. The South
Florida Sun Sentinel (http://goo.gl/UEPiqq ) reports that
two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one
included Ohara's phone number.
Ohara and Ziskowski were arrested and charged with grand
theft.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Walter
Re: Unresponsive Script on W8
Hi Dear Webby,
I once again seek the help of the western hemisphere's
preeminent cyber guru.
Quite frequently on my 8.1 Windows laptop, Firefox browser,
a window comes up, saying "Warning: Unresponsive Script."
The screen then freezes and to correct this problem I have
to reboot.
Have you an answer on how to prevent this from happening?
Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
Dear Walter
"Just a routine Windows 8 F...up".
Hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to open the Taskmanager
sort by Memory
locate and highlight FireFox
Hit END PROCESS in the right bottom corner.
It will close FireFox and unlock W8.
Chrome seems to be able to deal with that
problem more intelligently and lets you stop
and restart unresponsive scripts.
Unfortunately, that only gets you over a symptom of the
problem, and does not cure it. I will look for a possible
cure.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
An old farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and
asked for the price of their toilet paper. The company
wrote back telling him to look on page #346 of their
catalog.
He wrote another letter to the company that said:
"If you had not stopped sending me catalogs, I would not
need any toilet paper."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Your Pumpkin from Spoiling
It is Jack-o-Lantern time! I always wait until the last
minute to carve my pumpkin because it seems like it starts
to rot the next day. I saw a special on TV where they
immerse the cut pumpkin in a solution of water and bleach.
You keep it in for a while and make sure it gets submerged
and every cut surface is treated. Let it drain for a while.
Just make sure you wear old clothes and use plastic gloves.
I think Rubbermaid would be the best. I don't know the
percentage of bleach to water, or how long to keep in the
liquid. Before I have tried using salt and water or vinegar
but the pumps didn't last any longer.
Source: TV special Extreme Hallowe'en I think it was
By Nightsong [37]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was
sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to
pray?"
One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to
pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us
put on our life jackets - we're one short."
___________________________________________________
 July 31, 2015
moonrise over Cape Byron Lighthouse, on Belongil Beach, Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia. The head land and lighthouse at Byron Bay is the most easterly point of the Australian Mainland and therefor is the first place in Australia to watch the full moon rise. This video is made up of 1038 frames and slowed down to as close to real time as possible.
|
____________________________________________________
When I consider how sweaters tend to make me
sweat, I'm a lot less inclined to wear my windbreaker.
____________________________________________________
 |
Body paint for Halloween
|
Today, October 22, in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It
later became known as Princeton University.
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally
elected president of the Republic of Texas.
1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment"
among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to
come to an end according to the followers of William Miller.
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment
with a high-resistance carbon filament.
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing
money from many New York banks.
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).
1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to
inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces
to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the
discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island.
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft
had orbited the Earth 163 times.
1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was discharged
after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His tombstone reads
"A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the military they gave
me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed
into the U.S. for medical treatment.
1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was
decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous August.
1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade Association
agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by the year 1993.
1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which it
defied Western definitions of civil liberties.
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in July.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications downloaded.
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for the
longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been continously
inhabited since November 2, 2000.
2015 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 421 )
Wednesday, October 21, 2015, 07:05 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 21
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police
her name is 'Hell On Wheels'
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words
per minute on a manual typewriter.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing
on the shore like an idiot.
--- Steven Wright (1955 - )
"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up,
but a comedy in long-shot."
--- Charlie Chaplin
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering
questions that no one has asked them.
--- Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A salesman from New York traveling in Kansas left his
snazzy rental car out in a hail storm. When the storm
was over he checked the car and found out it was
covered with small dents. He went to the local garage
and inquired how he could fix the problem himself.
The mechanic told him to blow on the tailpipe and the
dents would pop out again.
He took the car to the motel where he was staying,
parked it and proceeded to blow on the tailpipe.
A local came by and inquired what he was doing.
He explained that he was blowing on the tailpipe to
remove the dents.
The local responded,
"That's not gonna to work, not unless you roll up the
windows real tight first."
______________________________________________________
Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the
teacher singled him out.
"If I gave you $200," the teacher began, "and you gave
$50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would
you have?"
"Well, it sure would be no orgy!" Johnny answered,
"Helen, my girlfriend, would bust my skull for that!"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Amanda Dolores Alleman
38,
CLARKSBURG,
Wesrt Virginia
Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police
her name is 'Hell On Wheels'
Police say a woman accused of drunken driving and hitting
six vehicles initially identified herself to an officer
as "Hell on Wheels."
The Exponent Telegram (http://bit.ly/1KdL6cI ) reports
38-year-old Amanda Dolores Alleman of Clarksburg was
arrested Friday on numerous charges. Among them are
aggravated driving while under the influence, striking
an unattended vehicle and having no insurance.
Police say Alleman had a blood-alcohol content of 0.20
percent when she struck six parked vehicles on two
different streets.
Alleman was being held at the North Central Regional Jail
on $14,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Bonnie
Re: Desktop restore
Dear Webby
For that poor lady whose desktop icons all got scrambled -
we only have a couple dozen so what I did was do a "print
screen" of the desktop & saved it in an e-mail draft.Â
Now when they go haywire I just use that to reassemble
them. Sounds a lot easier, hope you will print my idea.
Bonnie in Candia
Dear Bonnie
You are an exception! Most people have a LOT of icons on their
desktop.
If somebody finds the half minute installation of Desktop OK
too much hassle, there ARE ways to reduce the number of icons.
Make some desktop folders, for example Tools, Music, Recipes
and so on. Then drag all related icons into those folders.
That will reduce the number of loose icons very quickly.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends,
a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and shovel for?"
one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong
an ear shattering whack with the shovel.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the
wall: "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two fourty five
in the morning!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda Deodorant
I have been keeping a bowl and mixing hydrogen peroxide
and baking soda and using it as deodorant. I have never
been fresher. Mix a small amount into a paste. I buy the
value size on both at Sam's Club. I am at seven months
and might get a year out if it. I used to use a deodorant
costing 5.99 every two weeks.
By Stevebasso [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "Bobby just borrowed it. He wants to scare his
parents."
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
had been misbehaving and was sent to bed.
After a while emerged and informed mother
that had thought it over and then said a
prayer.
"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to
help you about your misbehaving, He will help you."
"Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said
. "I asked Him to help me not to get
caught quite so much."
____________________________________________________
 |
A massive bridge
building machine. Those are some brave men that work around that machine.
|
Today, October 21, in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution,
was launched in Boston's harbor.
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain.
The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet.
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris.
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp.
It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out.
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during WWI
near Nancy, France.
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words
per minute on a manual typewriter.
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the
Electric Show in New York City, NY.
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined
29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations.
1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was
captured by U.S. troops.
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time.
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet.
1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York.
The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in
opposition to the Vietnam War.
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to
Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there.
1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action
was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American diplomats.
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released
after nearly five years of being imprisoned.
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North
Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections.
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial
birth abortions.
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer
of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist
nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.
2015 smiled.
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Desktop is messed up again
Tuesday, October 20, 2015, 09:16 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 20
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida couple, who prolonged police standoff to have sex
'one last time'.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
You can pretend to be serious;
you can't pretend to be witty.
--- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957)
Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic,
but one of them is paranoid
and the other one is out to get her.
--- Hillary
"Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking
at girls and persuade themselves they have a better
idea."
--- John Ciardi
"Modern Art" ? Isn't that an oxymoron like "Dry Water",
which, according to people in the military is like
"Military Intelligence" ?
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty
scarce."
--- Mark Twain
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"
Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use
the Internet for research and it's been very helpful."
Mother: "Really?"
Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell
history papers on that topic!"
______________________________________________________
A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make
sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in
her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she
accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter
walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced,
knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to
the waiter and demands "Stop That!"
The waiter looks at her dryly and says
"Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34,
Leanne Hunn, 30, ,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Couple Prolongs Police Standoff To Have Sex
'One Last Time'
Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, allegedly
refused to surrender to police until they could have sex
together one last time.
A standoff began Wednesday night when Jacksonville Sheriffs
responded to a call about Michael Forte, 34, who was wanted
on several warrants including armed burglary,
FirstCoastNews.com reports.
A Jacksonville Sheriffs Office spokeswoman said deputies
were also looking for Bautista, who also had several
warrants, including armed burglary.
Bautista and Hunn reacted to the police visit by
barricading themselves inside a mobile home and refusing
to leave for more than six hours, according to
News4Jax.com.
Three other adults were inside the home at the time police
arrived, but one woman was allowed to leave a short time
later.
Police said Hunn and Bautista detained another woman by
dragging her to a back bedroom where she was held down,
according to the website.
That woman was eventually allowed to leave, but Hunn and
Bautista refused to exit the mobile home. Hostage
negotiators were called to the scene and attempted to
communicate with the couple via phone and bullhorns,
according to Jacksonville.com.
At some point during the standoff, Hunn told police she
would give herself up but not until she had sex with
Bautista “one last time,” according to the website.
Hunn never did come out on her own. Eventually, officers
broke into the mobile home and arrested the couple.
Bautista and Hunn were arrested and charged with resisting
police and false imprisonment, according to CBS News. They
are currently in the Duval County Jail.
The couple apparently had an audience for their "last time"
lovemaking session.
Turns out Forte, the subject of the original phone tip, was
also in the mobile home.
Forte was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon
by a convicted felon, armed robbery, and murder, according
to Inside Edition.
Forte is currently being held in the Duval County jail on
charges of murder, armed robbery with a firearm or other
deadly weapon and possession of a weapon by a felon,
according to jail records.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Annalisa
Re: Desktop messed up
Dear Webby
Windoze has done it AGAIN. Totally screwed up my perfectly
organized desktop and just moved all icons in one disorganized
pile on the left side, while I was not even near the computer.
When I saw that, this prim and proper lady used some VERY foul
language!
What have you got to keep me from cussing like that?
Annalisa
Dear Annalisa
I got an add-on that installed itself into the right-click
menu for saving or restoring the desktop. Unfortunately, I
got that probably half a dozen years ago and have long
forgotten where I got it from.
Try right-clicking the desktop and see if you have that
add-on.
In case you don't have that, I searched for an alternative.
I tested it, and it is clean and works well.
Go to Desktop OK and
Download the program at Desktop OK Program
You have to unzip it and then run it.
Don't get flustered by the many options in it! Just look
at the Auto-Save, tell it to save 32 back-ups, and to
save when Windows shuts down.
Saving every 15 minutes is available, but in my opinion
not a good idea. That could possibly save right after
Windows messes up your desktop.
If you have time and inclination, you can play with the
ton of options in there, but it works fine as is.
If it looks like it disappeared, click the double upwards
arrows in the right bottom, beside the W10 nagger. That
shows you programs, that are running in the background.
One of them is a white mini desktop with some colored
dots in it. That's Desktop OK.
If you want to restore the desktop, you can select which
saved version you want.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he
arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a
sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office
was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said,
"If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening,
you can hear me telling everyone how to get to
Heaven."
"Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to
the post office."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Shower Curtain Rings as Hangers
Each time you buy a new shower curtain it comes with a new
set of curtain rings which are not always needed. You can
use these in your wardrobe to save space by hooking them
onto a clothes hanger.
You can then hang vests, ties belts and scarves from the
rings
By ShirleyE [26]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat,
leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid
asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?"
The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects
me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put
it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it
protects me then, too."
"Why do you wear that leather vest?"
"It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has
pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches."
"Well, why do you wear leather chaps?"
"They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through
rough bushes."
"Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked,
"Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?"
"That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver."
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
This one is a classic, but good enough to see again:
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his
employees about an urgent problem with one of the
computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number
and was greeted with a child's whispered,
"Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk
to a youngster the boss asked,
"Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise
of the boss, the small voice whispered,
"No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes",
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No".
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child
would be left home alone, the boss decided he would
just leave a message with the person who should be
there watching over the child.
"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked
the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's
home, the boss asked
"May I speak with the policeman"?
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?, asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the
whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what
sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the
phone the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now
alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered,
"The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!"
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little
frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"?
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a
muffled giggle:
"They're looking for me."
____________________________________________________
 |
Large-scale land art by
Stan Herd, known as the "Father of Crop Art."
|
Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI.
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of America’s
colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the
colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and
all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays
and other expensive diversions and entertainment."
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase.
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between
the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel.
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for
Independence.
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus
T. (P.T.) Barnum.
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a
' dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of
Alaska.
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series
game for the first time.
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that
took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist
Headquarters.
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve
in Germany.
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines.
1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and
Dubrovnik were liberated.
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American
Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist
influence within the motion picture industry.
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya.
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis.
1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated.
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit
the violence in their programs.
1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched.
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned
atomic blasts in the South Pacific.
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety
devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing
a stunt.
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 659 )
Monday, October 19, 2015, 08:16 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 19
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Knife-wielding punk, who burst into library to
kill kids. A 75-year-old army vet took him down.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 19, in
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to
U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It
was to be the last major battle of the American
Revolutionary War.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Television has proved that people will look at anything
rather than each other.
--- Ann Landers (1918 - 2002)
Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.
--- Ovid (43 BC - 17 AD)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher
knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if
anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his
dad told him that he needed to go to church.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if
his dad had explained to him why it was more important to
go to church than to go fishing.
The boy replied: "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have
enough bait for both of us."
______________________________________________________
A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in
the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Ross for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
AND a Darwin Award has been earned by
Dustin Brown,
19,
Morton,
Illinois
Knife-wielding punk bursts into library to
kill kids. A 75-year-old army vet took him down.
James Vernon, a 75-year-old veteran, took matters into his
own hands when he found himself face-to-face with a man who
was determined to shed some blood.
Vernon and 16 parents and children were in a conference room
at the Morton Public Library Tuesday when Dustin Brown, 19,
entered and declared he was going to kill some people,
according to the Pekin (Illinois) Daily Times.
Brown had more than one knife and Vernon knew he had to do
something fast to prevent a tragedy from happening.
The elderly vet stepped in between Brown and the others,
giving them a cue to leave the room.
Vernon then relied on his knife training from 50 years ago
to help him handle Brown.
“He actually ran into the room yelling, ‘I’m going to kill
some people!’ Vernon said.
Vernon said the knives Brown had looked like hunting knives
with fixed blades about five inches long.
“I tried to talk to him. I tried to settle him down,” Vernon
said. “I asked him if he was from Morton, did he go to high
school. I asked what his problem was. He said his life sucks.
That’s a quote.”
While talking to Brown, Vernon noticed he was right-handed
and expected he would strike with that hand first. Vernon
knew to block with his left hand.
Vernon was successful in stopping Brown from killing anyone
but he didn’t walk away without an injury. Brown slashed two
arteries and a tendon on Vernon’s left hand as he blocked
Brown’s knife.
Despite the injury, Vernon took down and subdued Brown until
the police arrived.
Brown was held on $800,000 bond on charges of attempted murder,
armed violence, aggravated battery to a person over 60 and
burglary.
Brown had been free on bond facing child pornography charges.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Leona
Re: How do I organize Chrome bookmarks?
Dear Webby
I want to organize my Chrome Bookmarks, and save them to
a camera chip. How do I do that?
Leona
Dear Leona
In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the
Chrome menu (The three horizontal bars).
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
Browse to the folder where you want to alphabetize your
bookmarks.
Above your bookmarks, click Organize.
Click Reorder by Title. Now when you open the Chrome menu
and click Bookmarks, you’ll see your bookmarks listed in
alphabetical order.
To create a bookmark folder
In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the
Chrome menu.
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
On the left side of the page, click the Folders drop-down arrow.
Click Add Folder, then name your folder.
Drag any bookmarks into your folder.
Shift-click to pick more than one item.
To Export bookmarks, open the Bookmarks manager as above.
Select a folder on the left
Clik on Organize on top
At the bottom of that you see: Export bookmarks.
That exports the selected folder, for example your Prayers
folder, but not your hubby's warm-up bookmarks folder.
Just export the folders you want, and ignore the rest.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
"A fossil is an extinct animal.
The older it is, the more it stinkts."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Bacon in One Piece
I don't know how many times I've tried different ways to
get one piece of bacon out of the package and into the pan
flat, not ripped not torn but flat. Work a fork under one
side or the other of the bottom piece of bacon in the
package, you then begin to roll the fork into the direction
of the other end of the piece of bacon. Effectively, you
are rolling up a piece of bacon onto the fork. When you put
it in the pan, you place edge side down. Unroll it into the
pan off the fork.
By Deborah S. [12]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was
asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it
to do over again.
"Sure," she replied, "but definitely not the same
ones."
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to
discuss their home lives, one said,
"Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've
been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Oh, No! I can't." the first replied, "I need to lose
at least another fifteen pounds first."
____________________________________________________
 |
What a marvelous idea.
A preschool housed inside a retirement home.
|
Today, October 19, in
1765 In the U.S., The Stamp Act Congress met and drew up a
declaration of rights and liberties.
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to
U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It
was to be the last major battle of the American
Revolutionary War.
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their return
out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating
Russian army.
1914 In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used
to pick up mail in Washington, DC.
1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the
president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts
of Mexico except where Carranza was in control.
1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by
the Berlin Organization Committee.
1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed
into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES).
1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital
of Pyongyang.
1951 U.S. President Truman signed an act officially ending the
state of war with Germany.
1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba
covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain
food products.
1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam
War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs."
1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City.
1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional amendment
that barred the desecration of the American flag.
1993 Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of Pakistan.
1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing license
back after he had lost it for biting Evander Holyfield's ear
during a fight.
2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear
plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks of
the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days. Blaine
had entered the box on September 5.
2009 The international version of Amazon's Kindle 2 was released.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 699 )
Organize bookmarks on Chrome
Sunday, October 18, 2015, 07:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 18
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Armed robber in Charleston Waffle House,
who was shot and killed by a customer.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 18, in
1469 - Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile.
The marriage united all the dominions of Spain.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
The great god Ra whose shrine once covered acres
Is filler now for crossword-puzzle makers.
--- Keith Preston
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
--- Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870)
"Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can'tbe done and why.
Then do it."
--- Robert Heinlein (1907-1988)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it ain't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
______________________________________________________
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
AND a Darwin Award has been earned by
Joshua Jermaine Davis,
19
Charleston,
S.C.
Armed robber in Charleston Waffle House
was shot and killed.
A customer at a Waffle House in Charleston, S.C. opened
fire on a would-be robber and killed him early Saturday
morning —and will not be charged for the shooting,
police said.
“No one was hurt, which is the best part,” Waffle House
division manager Brandon Rogers told the Post and Courier.
“No one was injured — besides the robber.”
A Waffle House employee told the paper: “He saved us.”
The robber, 19-year-old Joshua Jermaine Davis, entered the
restaurant shortly after 5 a.m., police said. By the time
officers arrived, he had been shot. He died later in
hospital, WCSC reported.
Davis' Facebook page has several pictures of him posing with
a handgun. Four days before the shooting, he posted a picture
of what appears to be a police car and wrote, "We see Ya n----."
The unidentified man who shot Davis had a permit to carry his
pistol, police said.
As the Waffle House manager noted, no one was injured in the
shooting except Davis. The restaurant manager said Davis did
not get away with anything, and the restaurant saw only minor
damage from broken glass.
The store was open as usual on Sunday, with an employee telling
the Daily News the staff is moving on “as best we can.”
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Leona
Re: How do I organize Chrome bookmarks?
Dear Webby
I want to organize my Chrome Bookmarks, and save them to
a camera chip. How do I do that?
Leona
Dear Leona
In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the
Chrome menu (The three horizontal bars).
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
Browse to the folder where you want to alphabetize your
bookmarks.
Above your bookmarks, click Organize.
Click Reorder by Title. Now when you open the Chrome menu
and click Bookmarks, you’ll see your bookmarks listed in
alphabetical order.
To create a bookmark folder
In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the
Chrome menu.
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
On the left side of the page, click the Folders drop-down arrow.
Click Add Folder, then name your folder.
Drag any bookmarks into your folder.
Shift-click to pick more than one item.
To Export bookmarks, open the Bookmarks manager as above.
Select a folder on the left
Clik on Organize on top
At the bottom of that you see: Export bookmarks.
That exports the selected folder, for example your Prayers
folder, but not your hubby's warm-up bookmarks folder.
Just export the folders you want, and ignore the rest.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A mother was telling her little girl what her own
childhood was like.
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made
from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last
she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Organizing your Web Page Favorites
I recently lost my laptop to a virus (be careful clicking
on those cute videos) and it was more costly to recover
than to purchase a new one. Fortunately, they were able
to save my data. I had a bad habit of saving to "favorites"
without catergorizing. Then when I wanted an article, I had
to search the whole list to find it.
When I set up my new computer, I made folders in "favorites".
When I save items I want to review later, I put them
immediately in their proper folder such as; crafts, crochet
projects, recipes, menus, etc. No need to search the whole
list now, just go to the particular folder you want. It is
so much easier to use, faster and keeps things where you
can find them.
By HerkDia [32]
I hope she learned her lesson and got McAfee
and MalwareeBytes for the new machine.
They would have been able to prevent the infection, and save
the cost of a new machine. I am amzed at how many people
rely on the Easter Bunny or good luck to shield them from
malware.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender
(with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the
houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and gimme the
bill."
So the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill
for $57.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times, then
throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and
once again says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy
everyone in the houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and
gimme the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself
that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same
trick twice. So he gives him the benefit of the doubt,
pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink
himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up,
beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him
out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar
and says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone
in the houshe a drink, gimme the bill."
In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me
this time?"
The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent
when you drink."
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
A little dwarf lady goes into her doctor's office
complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination
the doctor sighs, "I don't seem to see any problem. Does
it get better or worse at any time?"
"Yeah, it's really bad whenever it rains," she replies.
"Well, then," says the Doc, "Next time it rains, get in
here at once, and we'll take another look at it."
Two weeks later its raining really hard, and the little
lady shows up at the doctor's office.
"Doctor, it's really bad today. Please, you have to help
me!!"
"Well, let's have a look," he says as he lifts her up
onto the table.
"Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse bring me a
surgical kit. Don't worry ma'am this won't hurt a bit."
The dwarf lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation.
The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few
minutes later.
"There you go, ma'am, try that."
She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims,
"That's great, Doc, what did you do?!"
To which the doctor replied,
"I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain
boots."
____________________________________________________
 |
Great dinner entertainment.
|
Today, October 17, in
1469 - Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile.
The marriage united all the dominions of Spain.
1685 - King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes,
which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant
population.
1767 - The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the
boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania.
1842 - Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable.
1860 - British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of
the Second Opium War.
1867 - The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia.
The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars
(2 cents per acre).
1892 - The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago,
IL, and New York City, NY, was opened.
1898 - The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one
year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain.
1929 - The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council ruled
that women were to be considered as persons in Canada.
1944 - Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during WWII.
1956 - NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of
radio-equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks.
1958 - The first computer-arranged marriage took place on
Art Linkletter's show.
1961 - Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's
Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that the
painting had been hanging upside down.
1969 - The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to
evidence that they caused cancer.
1970 - Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death
after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation
Front (FLQ).
1983 - General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities
for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission.
1989 - The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission that
included the deployment of the Galileo space probe.
1990 - Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil for
$21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been before
the invasion of Kuwait.
2013 - Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on
the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat Dec 6.
2015 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 1118 )
Saturday, October 17, 2015, 07:03 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 17
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman arrested for shoplifting dresses
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 17, in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY.
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates,
and the glare that obscures
--- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
--- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)
The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the
world is to be in reality what we would appear to be.
--- Socrates
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Aaron bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for
Valentine's Day. His friend Benny remarked: "I thought
she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive cars."
"She did," Aaron replied. "But where in the world I was
a fake Jeep going to find!"
______________________________________________________
Also known as 'women's intuition,' this sixth sense
thing is no myth. Women usually seem to know what's
going on in their man's lives almost better than they
do themselves. Why is this?
They empty his pockets before throwing his laundry into
the washing machine.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Aree Riveros,
58,
Tampa,
Florida.
Florida woman arrested for shoplifting dresses
A woman caught stealing a pair of Calvin Klein dresses and
a Michael Kors jacket told cops that she swiped the fancy
threads because she “needed something to wear to her son’s
High School Football Banquet,” according to a police report.
Despite that explanation, Aree Riveros, 58, was still
arrested on a felony theft charge for allegedly boosting
the garments Saturday from a Macy’s in Clearwater, Florida.
The clothing, valued at $428, was found in Riveros’s purse
after she was confronted by security upon exiting the store.
Riveros, pictured above, is free on $2000 bond.
An arrest affidavit does not explain why the Tampa resident
needed two dresses for her son’s gridiron banquet
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Elaine
Re: How do I make partitions?
Dear Webby
I agree that partitions would be really helpful in
sorting out the mess. The braindead mess on C: is
a real nuisance. So, how do I do it?
Elaine
Dear Elaine
I use Partition Wizard.
There are other partitioning softwares, but I have used
PartitionWizard for decades and never had a problem.
They have a free version that does probably way more than
what you plan to to.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A young woman doctor tells the story about her 4 year
old daughter. On the way to pre-school, the doctor had
left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little
girl picked it up and began playing with it.
"Be still, my heart," thought the doctor, "My daughter
wants to follow in my footsteps!"
Then, with all the earnestness of a Social Sciences major
the child spoke into the instrument,
"Wowcome to McDonald's. Do ya want fwies wif that?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Egg Carton Gardening
Egg cartons are a great biodegradable way to do seed-start
gardening. Simply cut off the sides and lid from your carton.
Place the cut lid under the carton base to catch leaking water.
Fill the holes three-quarters full with potting soil. Place
your seeds in the soil then cover them with a thin layer of
the potting soil. Mist as needed to germinate. If you're using
a different type of egg container, such as plastic, which
doesn't drain, just punch a tiny hole in the bottom of each
egg bed.
By attosa [128]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Money
It can buy a House...............But not a Home
It can buy a Bed.................But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock...............But not Time
It can buy you a Book............But not knowledge
It can buy you a Position........But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine..........But not Health
It can buy you Blood.............But not Life
It can buy you Sex...............But not Love
So you see money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend,
and as your Friend I want to take away your pain
and suffering.
So send me all your money,
and I will suffer for you.
PayPal or check only, please.
Thought this was gonna be one of those
"inspirational" ones, didn't you ?
However, if you do feel inspired,
I sure would appreciate it if you hit the PayPal button!
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the
field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the
tower received a call from an aircraft asking,
"What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, it's afternoon coffee time.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday.
If it is Coast Guard, it's two before supper.
If it is a Cessna, it's 3 hours to happy hour."
The reply was:
"It's a Piper. Where the heck am I?"
____________________________________________________
 |
Artist adds surreal twist
to photos on Instagram
|
Today, October 17, in
1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II
so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and
deserted young children" in Londond, England.
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY.
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War.
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was
released at newsstands.
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was
sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939.
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after
leaving Germany.
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina
after staging a coup in Buenos Aires.
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC)
began an oil-embargo against several countries including the
U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western
support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on
October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974.
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full
U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the
San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about
67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion.
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty.
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty
that ended their 19 years of civil war.
1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid
to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia.
2000 Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory
as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the
record holder for career victories.
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian
faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge
the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier.
2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop
movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said
that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation.
2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the
terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002.
2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug,
known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms.
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-foot-tall-
building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for
business in 2004.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 1196 )
Friday, October 16, 2015, 07:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you Gloria !!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida Man arrested and wheeled to jail for wheelchair DUI
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 16, in
1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers
using the name Ann Landers.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Go, and never darken my towels again.
--- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
--- Lynda Barry
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The lawyer emailed his client overseas:
"Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Do you
want us to order burial or cremation ?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both,
but not in that order."
______________________________________________________
The cowboy who was preparing the horses for the
tourists asked a lady she wanted a Western or an
English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.
He told her one had a horn and the other one didn't.
She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't
expect we'll run into too much traffic out here."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Ronny Scott Hicks,
54,
Palm bay
Florida
Florida Man arrested and wheeled to jail
for wheelchair DUI
Ronny Scott Hicks has two prior DUI convictions, but his
arrest on Monday night was slightly more memorable.
The 54-year-old Florida man was arrested Monday night after
police in Palm Bay got reports of a man in a motorized
wheelchair blocking traffic, according to ClickOrlando.com.
Hicks has two previous DUI convictions, neither while driving
a wheelchair, according to officials.
When officers arrived on the scene, they allegedly saw Hicks
sitting in his wheelchair blocking traffic. Officers said he
smelled of alcohol and was slurring his words, according to
WBRZ.com.
Hicks allegedly refused to take a breathalyzer test, according
to WTSP.com. He was taken into custody, refused treatment
for an open wound, and remains behind bars at the Brevard County
Jail on $5,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: CyberGrannie
Re: Partitions
Dear Webby
I have a HP laptop with w7 and it has 4 "partitions" or
rather that is what it looks like.
This is what it looks like:
8 GB ram
Hard disk drives 4:
C: 275GB
D: 298GB
F (recovery) 21.9Gb
G: (HP tools) 99.3MB
It seems these are not partitions so I cannot combine
Disk 1 (C drive) and disk 2 (D drive)
This seems so ridiculous. Do you know of any way that I
can combine these 2 "disks"?
This laptop was just restored to original state (with 2
original disks).
Dear CyberGrannie
That looks OK.
Why combine them?
By the way, D: might be a removable "drive" like DVD.
Just use them as they are.
You would not gain anything by combining them anyway.
For example, I have always used my E: drive for tools
and programs, and my F: drive for data, that I have produced.
Having extra drives or partitions allows you to have short
destination, like for example E:\Alpha\Eudora
instead of having my email program buried deep down in the
wacky chaos on C:
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Arthur came home after a late-night poker game and was
greeted by Sandra, his nagging, sourpussed wife.
"And just where have you been all night?," sandra
screeched at him.
"Playing cards," says Arthur, "but that's not
important. What matters is that I lost you to Bubba
Smith."
"Lost me!!" Sandra screamed, "How did you manage that?"
"It was a heartbreaker," Michael admitted.
"I had to fold with a royal flush."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Dieter's Chocolate Mousse
This is very simple. No cooking and you can make it the
strength or quantity you desire. Just take natural Greek
style yoghurt, or any other non flavored yoghurt. Add
cooking style cocoa powder. This has no added sugars at
all. You can also add vanilla.
Simply mix it up in whatever strength you want. You do
have to mix thoroughly because the cocoa powder seems
to sit on the surface. You can make it a strong or weak
chocolaty taste, getting your "chocolate fix" without
the guilt. If it is a bit strong, you can always add
a few drops of pure vanilla essence. That's it, simple!
Approximate Time: INSTANTLY
Yield: WHATEVER YOU MIX UP.
Source: NO. MY OWN CONCOCTION.
I HAVE NO IMAGE BECAUSE THE IMAGE IS WHAT IT IS.
By Trixie Pettman-South [2]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Norrissa was nervous the night her new boyfriend invited
her and her three young sons to an upscale restaurant
for the first time.
He ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the
server brought it, the children became quiet as she
began the ritual uncorking. When the waitress poured a
small amount for Norissa to taste and handed her the glass,
her six-year-old piped up,
"Mom usually drinks a LOT more than that!"
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Noella's brother has just returned from a visit to Israel
and reported to her this about elevators in Israel:
Apparently Shabat is the Sabbath and in some cities, it is
observed faithfully. On that day, the elevators are set to
stop at every floor so no one has to "work" and press a
button.
Usually there is one elevator that is still and does not run
except for opening and closing doors. The doors stay closed
for 7 minutes and then open - while the elevator doesn't move.
One never knows which elevator is the Shabat elevator. So
people will get on it accidentally, the doors close and 7
minutes go by. The door opens, everyone gets off and the
elevator fills up with new people. Meanwhile the people
who just got off are trying to tell the new ones - don't
get on, it won't go anywhere. But of course no one listens,
so the process starts all over and continues all day long!
____________________________________________________
 |
I never knew there was a
real little girl behind Alice in Wonderland that had to
do all the motions as well as the voice.
|
Today, October 16, in
1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette
was beheaded after being convicted of treason.
1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened.
The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day
and included four meals.
1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA
(now located in West Virginia).
1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install
indoor plumbing.
1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in
New York City, NY.
1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute
the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of
the Disney Company.
1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric
light bulb.
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews.
1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened
1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers
using the name Ann Landers.
1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile
bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis.
1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's
fifth nuclear power.
1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels.
1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed
Gamal Abdel Nassar.
1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the
Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award.
1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic
missile from a submarine.
1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well
that she had fallen into in Midland, TX. The was trapped for 58 hours.
1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S.
warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure
on the controlling military leaders.
2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco Inc.
for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron Texaco
Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world.
2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it
had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of a 1994
agreement with the U.S.
2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five
years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal
investigation of the energy company Enron.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television
episodes sold.
2015 smiled.
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( 3.1 / 756 )
Thursday, October 15, 2015, 06:43 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 15
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
S.C. man who battered wife after
she posted his bail.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 15, in
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
I believe that people would be alive today if
there were a death penalty.
--- Nancy Reagan (1921 - )
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
--- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The Italians have followed the ages old tradition of naming
their boats with a three-letter prefix. For example:
USA uses USS which means "United States Ship."
The British uses HMS which means "Her Majesty's Ship."
and now...Italy is using AMB which apparently means
"At's-a My Boat!"
______________________________________________________
was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked
"Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work."
looked inside and was amused to see an electric
can opener.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Robert Christian Chandler,
30,
Myrtle Beach
South Carolina
Bonehead battered wife after
she posted his bail
Moments after his wife bailed him out of jail today, a
South Carolina man punched the woman in the face as
the pair walked out the police department’s front
door, according to an arrest report.
Robert Christian Chandler, 30, was freed from the
Myrtle Beach jail around midnight after his spouse
posted $262 bond. But Chandler, who had been locked
up on a disorderly conduct charge, did not appear
grateful for his release.
“What are you doing here, ho?” Chandler asked his
wife multiple times, cops reported. A surveillance
camera in the police department’s lobby recorded Chandler
“grabbing the victim aggressively” as they walked toward
the front door.
Upon exiting police headquarters, Chandler punched his
wife in the face, according to a police dispatch supervisor
who witnessed the attack. Video shows the woman “hitting
the wall outside the doors,” while the supervisor can be
heard saying, “He just hit her.”
The 30-year-old victim had cuts on her right arm and her
nose was swollen, police noted. While acknowledging that
Chandler “grabbed and shoved her,” she said that she did
not want him “in any more trouble as she just bailed him
out of jail.”
Chandler, seen above, was arrested at the police station
and returned to jail, this time for misdemeanor domestic
violence.
However, the unemployed Chandler only spent about ten
hours in custody before he was released from the lockup
on a $2130 personal recognizance bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Cora
Re: Windows 10 nagger
Dear Webby
Good Morning Webby,
Have been getting pop ups to get Windows 10 installed.
What are your thoughts about it now? What bothers
me is.....if I get it installed and don’t like
it then what?
Really undecided on this. Any help you can give please.
Cora
Dear Cora
Neither your machine nor you are ready for Windows 10.
It is just a scam to get you to buy a new computer.
There IS a secret way to go back, theoretically,
but it is apparently neither easy nor totally complete.
IF and when your current machine dies of old age
and you HAVE to replace it, by then the new machines
will probably have Windows 11 or 12 on them.
It is not a good idea to volunteer to become a
guinea pig on a x.0 version.
At the very least, wait until 10.1 or 10.2
Also keep in mind, would you buy a detergent or soap
if you were pestered with rude naggers like they do
with Windows 10,
or would you tell them where to stuff their soap ?
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your
best friend is a terrible thing to do!"
"He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at
him."
The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at
you, you should have come to me."
The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done?
You can't hit a garbage can from two feet away!
My aim is much better than yours!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Muffin in a Minute (Microwave)
This is a recipe that can be varied to your taste.
It is healthy, fast and will never get boring.
Approximate Time: Less than 5 minutes
Yield: 1 muffin
Ingredients:
1/4 cup flaxseed meal (can grind the flaxseeds yourself,
if you prefer)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 Tbsp Splenda (optional)
1 egg
Steps:
Get the cup and put the flaxseed meal in.
Add the baking powder.
Add the cinnamon.
Add the Splenda, if using.
Add the egg.
Mix everything together.
Cook for a minute in the microwave.
Turn it out on a plate. If it looks too wet,
let it sit for a minute or two. Mine was fine.
You can add blueberries or other fruit.
You can also put in a tablespoon of cream
cheese before cooking.
Store the flaxseed meal in the freezer to keep longer.
Nutritional Value for Plain Muffin: Calories: 195,
Fat: 9 grams, Protein: 12 grams,
Carbs: 9 grams (net carbs 1 gram),
Fiber: 8 grams, Sugars: 0 grams
Source: Pantry Challenge Yahoo Group
By Judy Pariser S. [35]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and
the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence
with a direct object.
Little Johnny stood and thought, then said,
"Teacher, I think you have lost weight."
"Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said,
blushing. "But what is the direct object?"
"A good report card next month," he replied.
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated
father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room
without supper. But my son has his own TV, phone,
computer and DVD player.
"So what do you do?" asked his friend.
"I send him to MY room!"
____________________________________________________
 |
Leaky concrete. Hire the right people
if you want a complicated job done. I can't imagine that helicopter pilot having that level of control.
|
Today, October 15, in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of
St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean.
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard.
1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in western
Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought
from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre.
1937 "To Have and Have Not" by Ernest Hemingway was published
for the first time.
1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was executed
for treason.
1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the
Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled
execution.
1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had
been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin.
1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down
in Beirut International Airport.
1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed.
1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings,
surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career
points.
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade
sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers.
1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the
land-speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than
the speed of sound.
1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back
pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing.
1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba
for the seventh year in a row.
2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of
Jupiter's moon Io.
2015 smiled.
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( 3 / 690 )
Wednesday, October 14, 2015, 09:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 14
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast
her wild ride on Periscope.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
--- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972)
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too
old to set a bad example.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Nobody knows the age of the human race,
but everybody agrees that it is
old enough to know better.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled, they don't recognize you.
______________________________________________________
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room
of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his
full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a guy with his name
had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon
seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was
too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my
teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.
"Yes," he replied. "Graduated in 1955."
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely and then asked,
"What did you teach?"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Whitney Beall,
23,
Lakeland,
Florida
DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast
her wild ride on Periscope
Drinking and driving don't mix, but it's an especially
dangerous cocktail when you're live streaming your wild
ride on Periscope.
Police in Lakeland, Florida, arrested 23-year-old Whitney
Beall Friday night after receiving 911 calls from Periscope
viewers reporting that a drunken driver was using the app
to broadcast herself, according to WFTV.com.
Periscope is an app owned by Twitter that lets people
livestream events over social media.
Police said Beall told viewers she was "drunk," F---ing drunk,"
and didn't know where she was. At one point, she said had a
flat tire, according to Fox13.com.
Thanks to numerous 911 calls, officers were able to track down
her Toyota Corolla.
Although Lakeland Police officers are not authorized to use
Periscope, one of the officers added the app to his own phone
in order to track the suspect, according to WTSP.com.
When the officers initiated a traffic stop, Beall hit a curb,
according to WFTV.com
"I really hope I don't get a DUI," she allegedly said seconds
before hitting a sign in the median, a moment captured on video.
When Beall was finally apprehended, officers said she smelled
of booze, spoke slowly and had bloodshot, glossy eyes,
according to TBO.com.
Police said Beall failed a sobriety test and refused a breath
test to determine her blood-alcohol level. The suspect was
booked into the Polk County Jail on DUI charges.
She was released Saturday on a $500 bond, according to
jail records.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Dave
Re: PDF reader
Dear Webby
I hope all is well by you. I have heard some good things
about Nitro PDF reader. I wanted to know if you heard
anything about it.
Dave
Hi Dave
Yes, I have written favorably about it, and have used Nitro
for many years.
It is quite OK.
Using it to fill forms takes a bit of experimenting.
You almost have to read the instructions!
Once you get used to it, though, it works quite well.
Scan your signature and save it as a jpg or pnp file.
Then you can even insert your signature onto a form,
and then fax it, without ever using up any of YOUR paper.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the
Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The
conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was
telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a
spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke
said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!"
So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to
admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around
the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart,
with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and
blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome..
The Queen turned a bit red and said,
"Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!"
"Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had
thought it was the horse!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Quick Bread from Dumpling Mix
I ran out of bread today, so I tried making up two packets
of dumpling mix into a loaf. It came out light and aerated.
The texture looked a little rubbery, so I sliced and toasted
it. The crust was a bit brittle and tended to flake off when
slicing.
It tasted really nice toasted. I am thinking of experimenting
with rolls next time. The mix that I used required only water
to be added, so possibly a good option for an emergency
food kit.
By Verity Pink [38]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Mrs. Trent, seated in her living room, heard the back
door slam. Thinking it was her young son, she called,
"I'm in here, darling. I've been waiting for you."
There was no answer for a moment and then a strange
voice faltered,
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I ain't your regular milkman."
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a
bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles.
The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing?
Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful
liquid in the world."
The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most
powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you
put Holy Water on your forehead every day, bad thoughts
will pass away."
Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is TURPENTINE!
If you put this on a cat's butt,
he'll pass a Harley Davidson, maybe even a Kawasaki!"
____________________________________________________
 |
Leaky concrete. This is amazing!
|
Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England.
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands
for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile.
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement
for the international marketing rights for the phonograph.
1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film
"Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture.
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI.
Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued
with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene
of the shooting.
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed
record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour.
1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy."
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the
League of Nations.
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather
than face execution after being accused of conspiring against
Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow.
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade
liberated the city of Athens.
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck
Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American
to break the sound barrier.
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston,
began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people.
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested
the idea of a Peace Corps.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S.
intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet
medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S.
President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the
naval "quarantine" of Cuba.
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft
was transmitted from Apollo 7.
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death
of President Nasser.
1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk.
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in
Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours.
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians
of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running
Northern Ireland.
2015 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 703 )
Tuesday, October 13, 2015, 09:44 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 13
A couple of days ago I noticed that my new neighbors in the
East had a huge pile of oversize garbage bags filled with
leaves, and their lawns were already getting covered with
leaves again and looking just like mine.
I looked at the sky and noticed the beginnings of an arch.
That is a sign of an impending Chinook. (Stormy wind from
the West, 40 gusting to 65, sometimes higher).
On today's walk I noticed that my lawn was clean. No leaves.
My neighbor's lawn had the truckload of bagged leaves gone,
and their lawns were covered with leaves again.
It helps to have obstructions, like my row of Saskatoon
berries, in line with the wind.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
SC man, who was arrested after he called 911 To
Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 11, in
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became
known as the White House in 1818. After that the Americans walked
up to Canada and burned down York (Toronto).
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk
about other people.
--- Lucille S. Harper
There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the
creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about the
corpse: 'Doesn't he look happy?'
'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan. 'He died in his sleep
and he doesn't know he's dead yet! In fact,' she went
on, 'if he wakes up in the morning the shock will kill
him!'
______________________________________________________
The following ad appeared in a newspaper.
Single Black Female Seeks Male companionship,
ethnicity unimportant.
Good looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup
truck.Hunting, Camping, Fishing trips. Cozy winter
nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners
will have me eating out of your hand.
Rub me the right way and watch me respond.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work,
wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm
yours.
Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy.
(The phone number was the Dog Pound and Daisy
was an eight week old Black Labrador Retriever.)
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for sending this picture:
Back Of Crescent
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Patrick Doggett,
53,
Spartanburg,
South Carolina
SC man arrested after he called 911 To
Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him
A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to
complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him,
according to an arrest report.
When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick
Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend,
Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass.”
Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day
and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett
got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her
grandchild with her.”
So, Woodruff noted, Doggett "got up and then dialed 911."
Doggett, who was outside the residence drinking an alcoholic
beverage when police arrived, was arrested for public
intoxication and booked into the county jail (where he
remains locked up this afternoon).
Pictured above, Doggett has not been cited for misusing the
911 system, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Many
Re: Font Color
From all the replies I gather that the problem is monitor
brightness.
I send the font color "Navy".
So does Ophelia.
Most people find that more readable and more relaxing than
black.
Now, get this:
Some people like the fonts "Black, as they are now."
Some people like the fonts "Blue, as they are now."
And the majority likes the fonts "Navy, as they are now."
That indicates to me that
1) Some people have their monitor set too dark, and they
see the Navy colored fonts as black.
2) Some people have their monitor set too bright, and they
see the Navy color as Blue.
3) That the majority have set the brightness optimally for
their eyes, and they see all the colors as intended.
I shudder to think how beautiful flowers or sunsets get
trashed, if the colors are shifted.
Turn the monitor brightness a tad, up or down, until my
fonts look "Navy".
Easier on the eyes, and colors are more natural.
Just use the font color to calibrate the overall
brightness.
You can do that with the buttons at the bottom of the monitor,
and with some monitors even from Windows.
Neil sent this link:
Calibrate" target="_blank" >http://windows.microsoft.com/is-IS/wind ... ;Calibrate colors from Windows
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic
parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and talons and
wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's
assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and
is apt to bite.
The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens
the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks at the
wary assistant.
"Don't worry," the parrot squawks. "I won't hurt you."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Egg Cloud Recipes
I love this recipe because it only has two ingredients and
turns into something deliciously elegant. With the high
prices on eggs these days, this is nice way to stretch your
money.
Approximate Time: 10
Yield: 3 clouds
Ingredients:
3 eggs
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
Steps:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking pan with
parchment paper. Separate your egg yolks from the whites.
Whip the egg whites at high speed for a few minutes until
stiff peaks form.
Fold in the Parmesan cheese. Divide the fluffy whites
into 3 cloud shapes on the baking sheet.
Using a spoon, hollow out a well on each cloud where you
will be dropping your egg yolk. [Later]
Bake egg white cloud for a few minutes. Remove from oven,
and drop an egg yolk into each cloud.
Bake another 3 minutes.
Enjoy your beautiful creation!
By attosa [125]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
How to build a camp fire
1. Split dead tree limb into fragments and shave one
fragment into slivers.
2. Bandage left thumb.
3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments
4. Bandage left foot.
5. Make pyramid of slivers (include those embedded in
hand)
6. Light Match
7. Find a dry match and light it
8. Borrow a lighter and use it to light match.
9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow
gently into base of fire.
10. Apply burn ointment to nose.
11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out
searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled
"kerosene."
13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.
14. Relabel can to read "gasoline."
15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining
firewood.
16. Apologize for burning down all the tents and the outhouse
17. When thunder storm has passed, gather more
firewood and try again, applying lessons learned in
steps 1-15.
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
It may still be summer where you are, but in South
Carolina it's the season of the big fall mosquitos.
The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and
two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one
says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and
have a picnic."
The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down
there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us."
____________________________________________________
 |
What people in 1900 thought the year 2000 would look like.
|
Today, October 13, in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction
of a naval fleet.
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became
known as the White House in 1818.
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown
Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S.
invasion of Canada.
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry
Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY.
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution.
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on their ally, Germany.
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II.
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed
at Piraeus.
1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for
the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7.
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno.
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on
an hour long special.
1962 "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway.
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the
new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated.
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of
the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega.
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France
supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and
one minute. No passengers, just lots of fuel.
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in
San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground.
2015 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 552 )
Multiple browsers at the same time
Sunday, October 11, 2015, 09:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 11
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Colorado burglar arrested in jail
after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 11, in
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put
into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went
between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
--- Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804)
Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible
to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
--- Charles Kuralt
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Clyde
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting
surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak
to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,
if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your
mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
______________________________________________________
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a
hospital. The patient has had major surgery to
both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically
holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told
me that I will be able to play the piano when these
bandages come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet
music!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Rodney Mark Hendrix,
49,
Denver,
Colorado
Colorado burglar arrested in jail
after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later
It was the doo doo that did him in.
Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, is accused of burglarizing a
Denver pre-school and church in August 2014 and was caught
due to a DNA test of a pair of poopy shorts left in a
bathroom at the crime scene.
A pre-school employee noticed the crap-stained clothes and put
them in a plastic bag before the police arrived, according to
the arrest affidavit.
The responding officer took the contaminated shorts into
evidence, but it took 13.5 months for them to worm their way
through the forensic labs, according to Lynn Kimbrough, a
spokesperson for the Denver District Attorney.
"In Colorado, a DNA sample is taken of anyone who is arrested
for a felony," Kimbrough told HuffPost. "So when they ran the
unknown sample, his DNA was already in the system."
Kimbrough didn't want to venture a guess as to what the poopy
shorts smelled like after more than a year.
Hendrix is accused of stealing two guitars from the church
and numerous electronic items from the school, with a combined
total value of $4,072.
He was charged earlier this week of two counts of burglary,
two counts of theft, and one count of identity theft, according
to the arrest affidavit.
The suspect was already in custody in the Colorado Department
of Corrections on unrelated theft and drug cases when the
s*** hit the fan, according to the Denver Post.
Hendrix is is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on
Oct. 16 to be formally advised of the charges, according to
CBS Denver.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Karl
Re: Multiple browsers
Hi Webby,
Another great thing about running two different browsers
side by side is you can have two accounts with the same
company open at the same time. For example, I sometimes
have my work gmail account open while having my personal
gmail account open. If I only used one browser, I'd have
to sign out of one or the other. Right now I have 3
browsers open. Firefox, SeaMonkey, and Lynx. I've had
as many as four.
People still use Lynx? I'm limited to five gigs a month.
I read a lot of news articles on Lynx because it doesn't
download all the crap on web pages. The average Lynx page
download seems to be about 37K. Versus the 2-3 megs per
page using a regular browser with javaScript enabled.
Is it HTML 5 that brought us the bottomless webpage?
God, I hate that. All those self loading videos and ads.
It burns a lot of bandwidth plus it slows the system down.
If you have anybody in the Denver area that's interested in
making the switch to Linux, you can put them in touch with me.
Karl
Dear Karl
Good point!
Sometimes, when I am in the middle of a form on a borwser
and don't want to leave that page, I open a different tab,
but when I already have a lot of tabs open, then it is
definitely better to open a different browser.
I agree, for just reading text nothing gets even close
to good ol Lynx on Linux.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
>From Ed
I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to
me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded
with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the
seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little
girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her
lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little
lady straining to see what I was holding.
"What ya got, mister?" she asked.
(Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind
her business.)
I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and
says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?"
(Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear
telling her to sit down.)
I said, "they're for my girlfriend".
The little 5 year old said, again with a loud voice,
"WOW, pretty RED ones, and a LOT of them, too!
Man, you really must have f****d up!"
Her mother turned as red as the roses, but all the
other passengers bust a gut laughing.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Homemade Cat Litter Box
After seeing a nifty cat box with a high price tag, I
decided to make my own. It is a tote with a hole cut in
the top of the lid. I had empty totes already so that
didn't cost me anything. The litter does not get kicked
out at all. Occasionally some is tracked, but it is way
better than it being kicked out. My cats love it too.
Additionally, I did buy a cat pan set that has two pans
and a sifter for like $18 at one of the big box stores.
The solid pan fits perfectly in my tote. I still have to
disinfect the big tote, but not as often as I do the inside
pans. Overall, it is less cumbersome.
By mreynolds [1]]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her
husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had
taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but
would and then call back.
When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor
called and asked her what had happened. She said,
"Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a
barometer on his chest and it said dry,
so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!"
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
The Burgess Hill Town Council in the UK, in response
to a worker's complaint that sunlight coming through
the window caused a glare on her computer screen,
has already had three meetings, six months of discussion,
contact with several contractors, produced a six page report,
worked up five potential alternatives, their favorite
being the spending of up to $10,000 to put computer
controlled screens on the outside of the window or
coat the window with reflective film,
but whose Town Clerk has decided to solve the problem by
moving the desk away from the window.
____________________________________________________
 |
Tales and pictures
of feral children.....so sad.
|
Today, October 11, in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle
of Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict
Arnold suffered heavy losses.
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put
into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went
between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ.
1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention.
The electric machine was used for counting votes for the
U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it.
because there was no way to rig it for cheating.
1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film
for cameras.
1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British
and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State.
1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a
nationwide company with stores in all 48 states.
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter
from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S.
atomic program rapidly.
1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S.
The probe did not reach its destination and fell back to
Earth and burned up in the atmosphere.
1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned
Apollo mission was the first in which live television
broadcasts were received from orbit. Wally Schirra,
Don Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham were the
astronauts aboard.
1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went
out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant
Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service.
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard Challenger.
1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace.
1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border.
1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay
rights measure in the state was unconstitutional.
2015 smiled.
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Saturday, October 10, 2015, 09:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 10
Thank you, Elizabeth!!
After yesterday's uncomplimentary remarks about IE,
by sheer coincidence, of course,
FaceBook blocked me. They claimed that DearWebby was not
my real name.
DearWebby has been my name a lot longer than FaceBook
has been theirs!
It's just a minor nuisance. Considering the source, it really
is not a big deal. I rarely spend more than 5 minutes per
day on FB, and the number of FB friends are only about 1/6
of the Humor Letter readers, if that.
You can still get to my FB page with old links, so it really
is not a big deal.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida car thief arrested for driving
stolen car to police station
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 9, in
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms.
And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
--- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Two Venusians are walking down the street. One Venusian
finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again.
Puzzled, she says to the other one,
"I just know I've seen this face before!"
"Give it to me", says the other Venusian. She looks in
the mirror and says,
"Of course, you silly! It's me!!"
______________________________________________________
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a
few minutes. When she returned, she found the children
in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely
quiet.
She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen
anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please
tell me, what came over all of you?
Why are you so well behaved and quiet?"
Finally, after much urging, spoke up and
said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came
back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Noella for this picture:
No, she did not go out onto the porch to take that picture!
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Carnell Eugene Butler
18,
St. Petersburg,
Florida
Florida car thief arrested for driving
stolen car to police station
Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to
police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous
auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found
in yet another stolen car.
Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen
car cases.
St. Petersburg police say officers found a stolen Infiniti
on Sunday. Inside, they found Butler's documents related
to a June auto theft arrest.
Detectives contacted Butler, who arranged to pick them up.
When he arrived at police headquarters, a detective
arrested Butler and found keys to a Hyundai Sonata in his
pocket. The car was located a block away.
It, too, had been reported stolen.
Butler is held without bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Dani
Re: Firefox and/or Chrome
Good Morning Webby,
I see in today's Webby tips that you suggest using Chrome,
or at least FireFox.
I am using FireFox. Do you think Chrome is better than FireFox?
If I install Chrome, should I remove FireFox or keep it as a
back up?
Thanks for all you do to help us.
Dani
Dear Dani
You can have both FireFox AND Chrome running side by side.
Personally, I prefer Chrome, but sometimes I use both Chrome
and Firefox side by side to compare how a new design appears
on different browsers.
Usually they are quite consistent these days.
There is no need to get rid of one. Unlike IE, those two are
both quite secure.
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian
minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of
them automatically said, "Hello, Father."
The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no
father, you dummy," said the second youth,
"He's married and got three kids!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Store Duck Tape in Baggies
I use duct tape for many of my crafts and with cats, I
constantly am picking off hair from the edge of the tape
roll. I also find that when I put it away in my storage
box it sticks to everything. To solve both of these issues
I have started storing the rolls in plastic baggies. I use
both sandwich (holds 1 roll) and gallon (holds 4 rolls)
sized bags.
By lalala... [696]
By the way, it's DUCK tape, not duct tape.
The name comes from DUCK Weave, a square weave strip as
used for the Egyptian mummies and countless applications
since then. Hospital tape is one of the better known ones,
and so is Duck Tape.
A Duck weave tape always tears straight across, never
lengthwise like Fiber Tape. Duck tape of course is also
used for taping ducts, where the workers appreciate that
it tears straight across and never lengthwise.
There have been lots of arguments and even lawsuits about
duck versus duct. The fact is, though, it has been called
duck tape for a lot longer than there have been ducts.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
The most remarkable thing about Ernie's wife is that
for thirty years she served the family nothing but
leftovers.
The original meal has never been found.
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song,
will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
____________________________________________________
 |
What an interesting world we live in.
September's National Geographic photo highlights.
|
Today, October 10, in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD.
1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt.
1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company.
1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries
under Sun Yat-sen.
1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of
the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal.
1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale.
1938 Nazi Germany completed its return of Czechoslovakia's
Sudetenland.
1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president
of China.
1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla
Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the
official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant.
1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the
first global airline service.
1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people.
1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts"
comic strip.
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of
British rule.
1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean.
He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours.
1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in
reaction to a military coup that forced President
Jean-Claude Aristide into exile.
1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the
Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed.
1997 The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, opened to the
public.
2003 Rush Limbaugh annouced that he was addicted to painkillers
and that he was going to check into a rehab center.
2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public.
2015 smiled.
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Friday, October 9, 2015, 08:25 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you Michael!!!!!
Thanks, Neil!
Thanks, Ron!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
|
|
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Missouri intruder arrested for sleeping in an
unused bedroom
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 9, in
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
There is always some madness in love. But there is also
always some reason in madness.
--- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago
to Bison, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the
name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone
knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there! Check your
map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?"
The customer replied: "That's close enough."
______________________________________________________
New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but
had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write
the guy a check.
The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I
take a check from you ? I don't even know you !"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Gregory Trent Cole
53,
WENTZVILLE,
Mo.
Partially-clothed intruder found sleeping
in child's unused bedroom
A 53-year-old man has been charged with burglary and
harassment after he was found asleep in an empty bedroom of
someone else's Missouri home.
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports Gregory Trent Cole was
charged Monday. Authorities say Cole entered a home in the
St. Louis suburb of Wentzville and went into a bedroom early
Sunday while the people who lived in the home were in
another room. They say he removed some of his clothes and
went to sleep. Police say the man was discovered around
8 a.m., wearing only underwear and a shirt.
Cole was taken to the St. Charles County Jail, where he is
jailed on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ginger
Re: IE malfunction
Dear Webby
Ctrl/Alt/up arrow worked to get the screen right side up.
Now I'm getting a message when I try to sign in with
Internet Explorer:
"There is a problem with this website's security certificate"
no matter what site I try to sign in to....
any idea what's going on?
Thank you,
Ginger
Dear Ginger
Internet Exploder is obsolete, and not secure enough.
Dump it.
Use Chrome, or at least FireFox.
I have not used Internet Exploder for many years and have
no idea how to fix it's problems.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
Thanks Webby - I DID switch to Chrome and it's working fine.
Glad we have you for a resource person!
Ginger
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the
CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece
of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you
make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said.
turned the shredder on, and with a flourish
bowed out of the way.
As the CEO inserted the paper, the motor inside whirred to
live and pulled the paper in.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Treating Dry Cracked Heels
A major cause of dry cracked heels in women comes after
menopause. Hormonal changes are a major culprit. All of
our glands are changing. The oil glands slow down oil
production. There isn't much you can do except for
diligent care.
There are a few excellent exfoliate files made especially
for feet. Pumice stones work for the younger crowd, but
not for us. Cheap Dollar Store foot scrapers don't work.
Go to a beauty supply and get a good brand foot exfoliater
and foot cream.
Diligence is the major key to keeping your heels soft like
they were in your teens. It is possible. Make it a nightly
regime; file (exfoliate) and cream every night!
By hopeful [27]
The same happens with men too, especially if they are getting
close to heart or diabetes problems.
I found best for getting rid of dry calloused skin on the
feet and elbows, yes, it affects them too, is the flexible
sanding mesh sold for gyprock (sheet rock, drywall) work.
It is a flexible mesh, that does not clog up or build up.
Just shake it when done, and it is clean again, ready for
next time.
You can get it at Home Depot and similar places for $3 - $5
for a pack of 5. Keep one, give away the rest.
After sanding I use a little dab of baby oil. Not as fancy
on the outside of the bottle, but does the job quite nicely.
Just once a week is enough for me now. No more cracked and
painfully infected heels, but soft and flexible skin.
If you got thick and hard callouses, that have started to
crack and the cracks "swallow" sock lint and infect, you
should go to a pedicurist to clean out the cracks and glue
them. Believe it or not, when the cracks are cleaned out and
disinfected, they can be glued shut with crazy glue. That
allows them to heal in record time.
However, a weekly sanding and oiling should become a habit,
once that excessive skin growth on heels and soles,
and elbows, has started.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard.
His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what
happened?!"
"Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the
lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some
artificial respiration and he'll be fine."
"What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real
respiration or nothing."
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please
stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long
silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then , why do you consider yourself an
idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate
to see you standing all by yourself."
____________________________________________________
1... Avoid alliteration. Always.
2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4... Employ the vernacular.
5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8... Contractions aren't necessary
9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10.. One should never generalize.
11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary;
it's highly superfluous.
14.. Profanity sucks.
15.. Be more or less specific.
16.. Understatement is always best.
17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
____________________________________________________
 |
Sculptures by Lorenzo Quinn,
son of Actor Anthony Quinn.
|
Today, October 9, in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished
from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against
punishments for religious offenses and giving away land
that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded
Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek
religious freedom.
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered
in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale.
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is
now San Francisco, CA.
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary
War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led
by George Washington, defeated the British troops under
Lord Cornwallis.
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two
British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia.
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor.
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope.
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA,
and St. Louis, MO, began.
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with
the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later
became Montgomery Wards.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their
longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles.
1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium.
1919 The Cincinnati Reds won the World Series. The win would be
later tainted when 8 Chicago White Sox were charged with
throwing the game. The incident became known as the
"Black Sox" scandal.
1935 "Cavalcade of America" was first broadcast on CBS radio.
1936 The first generator at Hoover Dam began transmitting
electricity to Los Angeles, CA.
1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis.
The dome was unharmed in the bombing.
1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY.
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA.
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The
Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb."
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an UFO.
The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited
the city of Voronzh.
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in
response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and
hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border.
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in
Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring
a hundred.
2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National
Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his
father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing
him to number 9.
2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made
Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire).
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing
Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water
had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon.
2015 smiled.
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