Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Moe 
Thank you, Mary 
Thank you, Richard

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving 
off with voting equipment
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 6, in
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth 
 president of the United States.  
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.
--- Alice Walker (1944 - )

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
--- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC)

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
--- Laurence J. Peter
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials
put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the
kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.

The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty
feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was
again roaming around the zoo.

This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty
feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked
the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless
somebody starts locking the gate at night!"

______________________________________________________

Two men were talking one day.
"My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from
the garden market," said the first man.

"So were you able to find some?" the second man asked.

"Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce
clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been
sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'

"The produce clerk said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.' "

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Adele for this picture:


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Darrin Farmer, 
55,
North Versailles,
Pennsylvania



Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving 
off with voting equipment

Authorities in western Pennsylvania say a local judge of 
elections was arrested after allegedly failing to show up 
to the polls Tuesday and instead deciding to work as a 
jitney driver for the day.

The Allegheny County sheriff's office says 55-year-old 
Darrin Farmer of North Versailles (Vehr-SAYLESS) never 
came to the North Versailles precinct with voting equipment, 
delaying poll opening by three hours.

Authorities say his wife said he dropped her off at a store 
to buy refreshments for volunteers but then left. They 
allege he decided to spend the day giving rides for money.

Farmer faces charges including tampering with public records 
and obstructing a government function; a listed number for 
him couldn't be found and it's unclear whether he has an 
attorney who could respond to the charges.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Reliable email program
Dear Webby,
Once again I'm coming to the 'mountain' for HELP.

Last evening I updated Mailwasher to the latest 
config. 7.7 and then this morning when I logged 
on and my mail was transferred to Eudora 7.1.0.9 
all of the mail that was both in my in and out 
boxes (Eudora) has disappeared.  I would like 
to have it (mail) back since I've not replied 
to some of them. I did nothing else with my 
desktop other than update Mailwasher.

Can and would you shed some light to make my 
day brighter.

Peace
Frank

Dear Frank
Mailwasher doesn't do anything to Eudora beyond transferring
the focus to it, like clicking on it to making it active.

That sounds like a routine Windoze malfunction.
Did you try closing Eudora and re-opening it? 
Or closing it, and then rebooting?
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Dear Webby,
Like normal, I did as you instructed below.  The emails 
came back BUT now in Eudora the inbox first left column 
with the 'dot' header is now showing a ? for ALL messages 
prior to this morning. This mornings recent mail shows 
the blue dot.
The outbox is showing a red dot with an x inside the dot, 
in that same column for all sent messages including my 
initial request to you this morning prior to closing and 
reboot.  Can you explain and can it be corrected?

I'm having 'FUN!' now.
Frank

Dear Frank
Normally Eudora keeps the IN and OUT box in RAM during 
operation, and writes to disk later.

If Windoze decides it needs more RAM, it steals it from 
any non-Windows program. Theoretically, whatever it steals, 
is supposed to be written to the virtual memory (your hard 
drive). Sometimes that works OK, sometimes it doesn't.

Eudora has a way to guard against that, and tells you to 
re-index the database. 
Compacting the database usually fixes the question marks 
and dots.

To avoid that problem, keep the IN and OUT mailboxes small. 
Send mails to suitable mailboxes like Prayers, Recipes, 
Boobs, etc.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their
married lives. Although happily married, they admitted
that there were argument sometimes.
Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now
know how to always have the last word."

"Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?"

"It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always
'Yes, Dear.'"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Floor Cleaner with No Residue

Have you ever mopped with a cleaner just to discover you 
have a sticky floor from the residue? We bought some 
rubber planking floor that looks like wood and I wanted 
a good cleaner so I did some research. My research took 
me finally to Amazon where there is a product called 
Congoleum Bright 'N Easy No Rinse Cleaner. A 32 oz. 
bottle is $13.99 plus shipping, but I tell you, that 
bottle will last. You use 1/4 of a cup to a gallon of 
water.
The floors looked beautiful with no residue. After reading 
reviews, I saw people were using it in the kitchen on the 
tile floors so I tried that and the floors looked better 
than anything I used in the past. So I can do the tiles 
and plank floors with this and never have a buildup.
By linda [61]

Since my dishes dry nice and clean without residue,
I have used a squirt of dish soap per gallon of hot
water on my high gloss soft vinyl and gloss hardwood wood 
floor for the last 15 years. No dull film or buildup at
all. My floors are as clean and shiny as my dishes and
glasses. Other dish soaps will probably work just as well.
If your dish soap doesn't leave a film on your glasses, 
then it won't leave a film on the floor either.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
  
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and
she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One
day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a
friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited
about the new baby.
"Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard
some of his parents' private conversations, he adds,
"And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a
girl we're going to call it Barny, and if it's another boy
we're going to call it Quits."

___________________________________________________



 the slap

____________________________________________________

While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a
shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress
strolled by...
Johns eyes followed her.

Without looking up from the item Jill was examining,
Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?"

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
One time I was at the Farmer's market and was already 
lugging a big, (in the late 60's) fashionable wicker basket
full of all kinds of fruit and veggies, when I spotted
large pumpkins with a sign "1 penny". That sounded 
too good to be true.

Well, on closer inspection I saw the tiny writing 
"per pound".
Too late. By that time I was hooked.

Since I was already overloaded I asked the farmer 
if he delivered, and gave him my address.
"yes, sure," he said, if you buy a gross."

I had no clue how many were in a gross, but I was hooked.
I wanted some of those big, shiny pumpkins.
He told me that he would weigh them and put the bill into 
my mailbox.

I had to go to church choir after the farmers market and 
we went for some wine and cheese at the preacher's house
afterward. So I didn't get home until quite late.

The front door was barricaded with a pyramid of pumpkins,
and half the porch was pumpkins 3 layers deep.

I had no key for the back door with me. 
So, after crying for a bit, I circled the house looking
for a window that I could burgle in through.
Then a cop car stopped and a suspicious cop stomped over to 
me and yelled at me, wanting to know if I was trying to 
break in to that house.

That made me mad and I screamed back at him just as loud:
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!"

He jumped back two feet, and looked things over. 
Then he started laughing. Really laughing and doubling 
over, slapping his thighs and laughing.

After that he helped me move the pyramid from the front 
door to the east side of the porch and make a pyramid there.

After that I could finally get inside, put away the veggies 
and fruit, and murder a pumpkin.

I didn't go for the bill in the mailbox for a couple of days.

Noella

____________________________________________________






Yikes! Too scary for me!





Today, November 6, in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman 
 Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth 
 president of the United States. 
1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the 
 Confederacy in the U.S. 
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the 
 United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The 
 document granted rights to the United States to build and 
 indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 
1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of 
 Indian miners in South Africa. 
1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of 
 Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 
1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 
1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of 
 FM broadcasting. 
1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll 
 in the Pacific Ocean. 
1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited 
 when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800 
 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led 
 by Red Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.
1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that 
 condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The 
 resolution also called for all member states to terminate 
 military and economic relations with South Africa. 
1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 
 250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 
1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 
1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a 
 mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march 
 into the nation of Western Sahara. 
1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending 
 a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible 
 College in Georgia. 
1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over 
 northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents 
 to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban 
 resisters to the U.S-led invasion. 
1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 
 Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 
1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in 
 Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being 
 the head of a family spy ring. 
1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the 
 Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been 
 secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release 
 of seven American hostages. 
1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S. 
 announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets 
 that had been held since 1979. 
1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern 
 California was destroyed in an arson fire. 
1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires 
 ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 
1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 
1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb 
 killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 
1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's 
 queen as their head of state. 
2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. 
 The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 
2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state 
 newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were 
 robbers and killers aged 20-23. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 5

Thank You Cynjer!
Thank you Doug!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl 
in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 5, in
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Muslim Nidal Malik Hasan 
killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, 
but in getting up every time we do.
--- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

To punish me for my contempt for authority, 
fate made me an authority myself.
--- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A major research institution recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
This new element has been tentatively named
"Administratium".

Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant
deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force
called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is
inert.However, it can be detected as it impedes
every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Administratium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it
would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of three
years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a
reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy
neutrons exchange places.In fact, Administratium's
mass actually increases over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.

This moron-promoting characteristic has lead 
some scientists to speculate that Administratium 
is formed wherever morons reach a certain quantity 
in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is 
referred to as "Critical Morass."

You'll know it when you see it.

______________________________________________________

Q:  How can I avoid always being handed other
peoples' drooling brats?

A:  Drop one or two.

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Paul Rater, 
62,
Buckeye, 
Arizona



AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl 
in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger

A man in Buckeye, Arizona, is facing child endangerment 
charges after authorities said he left his 5-year-old 
granddaughter in the desert by herself with a loaded gun.

Paul Rater, 62, took the girl for a ride in his pickup truck 
Sunday afternoon in the desert. Family members reported the 
two missing four hours later.

The girl was eventually found by a firefighter who was riding 
around the desert on an ATV. She was crying for help, Maricopa 
County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told ABC15.com.

Arpaio told the station the girl was found with a loaded and 
cocked .45 caliber handgun.

"He told her it was to shoot the bad guys. How does a 5-year-old 
know the difference between good guys and bad guys?" Arpaio 
told the station.

Rater was found a short time later at a local store.

Investigators said he admitted leaving the girl in the desert 
and went for a few drinks and a cheeseburger, instead, 
according to CBS News.

Rater also told authorities the truck got stuck and he and 
his granddaughter had to walk for help because he forgot to 
bring his cellphone, according to KPHO TV.

When the girl couldn't walk anymore, Rater said he left her 
under a tree with the loaded gun.

Deputies said Rater came across several people while he was 
looking for help, but never thought to call 911. The suspect 
said he asked people to look for his granddaughter because 
he left her in the desert, according to AZCentral.com.

Witnesses at the South Buckeye Equestrian Center said Rater 
showed up there around 5:30 p.m. complaining about having to 
walk 10 miles. He never mentioned his granddaughter.

Rater's wife told deputies he called her for a pickup an 
hour or so later, after consuming a cheeseburger and four 
alcoholic beverages.

Rater was booked into a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of 
endangerment and two counts of reckless child abuse. He remains 
in custody on $25,000 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Terry
Re: Reliable email program
Dear Webby,
I have tried Outlook and Windows Live, and am not
happy with either one. Which email program do you
recommend and use?
Terry

Dear Terry
I still use Eudora, and have used it since 1993.
Never a problem.

Thunderbird is based on Eudora and pretty well the same,
just prettier and has a lot more emoticons.

Either one is fast asnd reliable.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure
anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with
what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the
town grouch.

So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that
he wasn't anybody special.   "Hey, doc, I have lost my
sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin'
to do?"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little, then tells Mr. Smith,
"What you need is jar number 43."

Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders.

So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out,
"This is gross!" he yells.

"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the
doctor. That will be $100.

So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.

One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor
along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts,
"I can't remember!"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little and tells Mr. Smith:
"What you need is jar number 43..."

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled
the office.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Onions Fresh for Months

If you keep your onions completely dry, separated, and hanging, 
they will last you for months. Take a washed or new pair of 
pantyhose and stack your onions vertically, then store in a 
cool dark place. Additionally, if you tie a knot in the hose 
between each whole onion, they will touch each other even less, 
lasting a bit longer.
By attosa [133]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey.
His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to
look carefully at his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded
the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant.
"Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that
if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"

He was acquitted.
___________________________________________________



male pole "dancer" - unreal

____________________________________________________

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a
92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They
decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.  En
route, with siren going, they questioned the man to
determine his level of awareness.

Leaning close, one paramedic asked,
"Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"

The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the
ambulance window.  He slowly turned back to the
paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55."

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
Does anybody read my blunder bit?

Noella

____________________________________________________






Beautiful landscape photography.





Today, November 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when 
 he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. 
 Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to 
 celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament 
 and King James I. 
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful 
 cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting 
 to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an 
 automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company. 
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third 
 term in office. 
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of 
 Representatives at the age of 29. 
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally re-opened.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the 
 Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at 
 L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's 
 tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of 
 weapons to Iran. 
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 
 24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced 
 to life for treason against the white minority government. 
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong 
 evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child 
 (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was 
 shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, 
 Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was 
 sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade 
 Center bombing. 
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit 
 during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted 
 in his death and sentenced to prison. 
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's 
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion 
 when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA 
 fight in Las Vegas, NV. 
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to 
 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates 
 from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and 
 charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp. 
 enjoyed "monopoly power". 
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and 
 Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in 
 airline services. 
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people 
 and wounded 30 others. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 4

Thank you, Cindy !

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Indiana man, who was arrested after he assaulted girlfriend
because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper 
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
 the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

A loving person lives in a loving world. 
A hostile person lives in a hostile world. 
Everyone you meet is your mirror.
--- Ken Keyes Jr.

"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why
the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."
--- Evan Esar

"Economists state their GNP growth projections to the
nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have
a sense of humor."
--- Edgar R. Fiedler
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for
coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the
groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured
by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith,
you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his
hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to
pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?"

"I'm afraid I can't, Sister."

"Do you have any close relatives, then?"

"Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a
spinster nun."

"Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied.
"They are married to God."

"Okay," the man said with a smile, "then bill my
brother-in-law."

______________________________________________________

The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked,
"Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!"

"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.

The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Clyde for this picture:


Strangest picture of Ireland: An Irishman without beer 
or whiskey in his hand!

______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Bryan Alwine, 
27,
Muncie,
Indiana



Indiana man arrested after he assaulted girlfriend 
because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper 

An Indiana man is facing a domestic battery charge after 
allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground during an 
argument over toilet paper, cops say.

According to a Muncie Police Department report, the victim 
told cops that Bryan Alwine, 27, pushed her so hard that she 
“flew” and landed in the street outside the home they share 
with their daughter.

The duo had been arguing, the victim said, “over toilet paper.” 
Alwine was allegedly upset because the victim had not 
purchased his preferred brand of toilet paper.

As first reported by The Star Press, the woman “further 
stated that Bryan is very specific on what he likes to use 
and that he began yelling at her while they were still 
inside the home.”

Officers responding to a 911 call Sunday night noted that 
the woman, who appeared “very frightened and nervous,” 
had a bloody elbow and a scratched knee. A witness who 
called police said that she saw Alwine “put his hands on” 
the victim and throw her to the ground.

Alwine, pictured above, was arrested for felony domestic 
battery. He was freed from jail Tuesday after posting 
$5000 bond. Alwine has previously been arrested for 
threatening to kill the victim, who told police that a 
“history of violence” between the couple has “gone on 
for several years.”
Muncie police reported that the victim is not being 
cooperative with investigators.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ann
Re: Mail from me
Dear Webby,
I get all kinds of mail that looks as if I had sent it,
but is definitely not from me.

I do send mail to myself frequently to file and keep,
but these mails are just spam or scams. What can I do
to stop that nuisance aside from changing my Yahoo address?
Ann

Dear Ann
Changing your Yahoo address would help for a while, but sooner
or later that nuisance will start again. We all get those
spam and scam mails.

I use MailWasher
With that I make filters to for example
mail FROM humor@webby.com
that DOES NOT CONTAIN "Humor: " in the  subject line
then delete it on the server, automatically, without 
even showing it in the list.

That way, when somebody sends a mail pretending to be
from humor@webby.com, but doesn't have "Humor: " in the
subject line, it gets murdered in the dark and sent 
straight to hell. 

You can send mail to humor@webby.com, just don't pretend
to BE humor@webby.com. 

You can have all kinds of code words that will legitimize
an email, for example 
DOES NOT CONTAIN    RegEx "Recip|Prayr|Shoplis|Gardn"
then nuke it on the server.

You can use all the "Regular Expressions" if you want,  but
usually you just use the pipe | to add a bunch of alternates
instead of making separate filters for them.

Then after that you put the appropriate keyword in the
subject line, and that email will be safe.

That trick also helps you to organize your emails and 
automatically send mails with "Recip" in the subject line
into your Recipe mailbox.  Most email programs let you
do that. So you win twice!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

A Navy Chief ('which Navy' will go unspecified) was
being court-martialed for an incident where he was found
to be chased by a young lady through the hallways of the
hotel in which they were both staying.

Neither of them were wearing anything. The charge was
that of "being out of uniform."

The Chief's lawyer argued that the officer was not out
of uniform, as the regulations read:
"A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired
for the activity in which he is engaged."

The charges were dismissed.

---------
Was that you, Jim?

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Homemade Stainless Steel Cleaner

Mix 1/4 cup vinegar, 2 tbsp baking soda, and 1/8 cup 
hydrogen peroxide. Add 4-6 cups hot water. Use a clean 
cloth. Dip cloth in solution and wring out, leaving cloth 
a little sloppy. Wipe down stainless steel with cloth. 
Allow to sit a minute. Wipe down with a dry cloth. Then 
wipe with a microfiber cloth. Very shiny! This solution 
also works to mop linoleum and tile floors and to clean 
the bathroom!
By kattt [1]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

It's a good thing we UNsubscribed Ms Burkenheimer. She
would probably consider this joke dirty.

Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling
sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are
sometimes required to make store-wide announcements,
e.g.,
"I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at
the paint counter."

One night a timid female voice came over the intercom
system with the following message:

"I have a customer by the balls in toys and need
assistance."

___________________________________________________



true facts about 
the octopus (Not to be put in, but I love this guy  :-) 

____________________________________________________

The first time I heard the following story, it was told to me
about 20 years ago by Danny, a former carpet layer. Knowing
what he smoked, I actually believed him.

According to his story, Danny had just finished installing
carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a
smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He
rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt.

While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room
and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the
room.

"No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of
smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get
out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he
was cleaning up, the lady came in.

"Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes.
"I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my
gerbil."

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
It’s a personal rule of mine to never litter.

My husband chewed tobacco. While out driving a few years 
ago we had a cup with his nasty stuff in it and it turned 
over in the car. We cleaned it up as best we could - 
no napkins - and our first thought was get rid of this cup 
so it doesn’t happen again. We're in the convertible anyway - 
he can spit out the window.

I’m thinking - we’re so deep in the countryside now, no 
one will know if I throw it. The trees were very close, and 
I decided to wait for an opening so the cup wouldn’t bounce 
back into our car. As soon as we came to one, I threw, right 
into the face of a farmer plowing his field! 
Noella

____________________________________________________






16 Amazing Stair Hack Ideas.  
I love the "reading room."





Today, November 4, in
1846 - A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin Palmer. 
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
 the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
1880 - James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 
1922 - In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the 
 lost tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 
1939 - During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality 
 stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy 
 allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 
1939 - At the 40th National Automobile Show the first 
 air-conditioned car was put on display. 
1942 - During World War II, Axis forces retreated from 
 El Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for 
 the British. 
1952 - In the United States, the National Security A
 gency (NSA) was established. 
1956 - Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress 
 the uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 
1979 - Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran 
 and took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The 
 militants, mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send 
 the former shah back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages 
 were later released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 
1984 - Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 
1985 - Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was 
 returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had 
 been kidnapped by the CIA. 
1989 - About a million East Germans filled the streets of 
 East Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 
1990 - Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to 
 fight a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 
1991 - Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in 
 Simi Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by 
 President Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, 
 Gerald R. Ford and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st 
 gathering of 5 U.S. chief executives. 
1995 - Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, 
 was assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after 
 attending a peace rally. 
1999 - The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against 
 the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The 
 sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to 
 turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with 
 masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in 
 Kenya and Tanzania. 
2001 - Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and 
 thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture 
 of sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba 
 received the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. 
 in nearly 40 years. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 3

Thank you Hermon !
Thank you Patricia !
Thank you Sig !
Thank you Heather !
Thank you Norma !



If you have trouble getting to sites, that you regularly
go to, like Arcamax or Gocomics, the problem is not at those
sites or at the servers they are on. The problem is that
a bunch of major fiber cable bundles have been cut.
One cut is nenar Kansas City, one is at or near Washington, DC,
and another one I know of is cutting off Newark and all
the data centers connected to the internet backbone there.
There is also a cut in the backbone about 108 km from 
Montreal.

How do I know? Did ISIS tell me? No.
I use Traceroute from one of the Webby servers. 
You can use the Windows tracert.

Click on START, type cmd and hit ENTER.
In the scary, black DOS style screen, type
tracert webby.com
or any domain you want to check,
for example
traceroute arcamax.com
If you see stars, those are breaks.
If you see 3 stars, that is a cut.

Asia looks even worse!
The Shanghai hub is not accessible.
Tokyo is cut.
Iran and Iraq are out.
India is down to 75%.

Africa is down to 0%,
so is Bulgaria, italy, Poland,Spain,
part of Sweden, and the Milton Keynes part of UK.

Australia is mostly at around 80%, as usual,
but new Zealand is 0%.

South America seems to have recovered except for Colombia.

I have no idea who made all those cuts or who coordinated
the cutting to all happen on the same day. 
There is nothing you or I can do about it.

Luckily our servers are not affected.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat 
and fake penis, who was arrested for drunk driving. 
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa 
 Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Men who never get carried away should be.
--- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) 
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take
another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had
secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone
so he would have an excuse to leave if something like
this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes,
put on a grim expression and said,
"I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank God," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine
would have had to."

______________________________________________________

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day
that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he
went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that
read, "I'm the Boss."
He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found
that someone had taped a note to the sign that said,
"Your wife called. She wants her sign back!"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Bonnie for this picture:


Atlantic Ocean in Hampton Beach State Park, NH about 
30 miles from my house.  Nice day & we enjoyed the 
walk on the beach couple weeks ago.  Like to share 
with y'all.
Bonnie in Candia, NH
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Ross McDonald,
39,
Iowa City,
Iowa



Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat 
and fake penis arrested for drunk driving. 

After being arrested for drunk driving, a Halloween reveler 
wearing only a trench coat and “a piece of cloth that 
looked like a penis” attempted to eat toilet paper in a 
bid to foil a Breathalyzer test, Iowa police report.

Cops yesterday pulled over Ross McDonald, 39, after they 
spotted him driving the wrong way on an Iowa City street 
around 3 AM. According to a criminal complaint, McDonald 
was “extremely confused” and could not tell officers 
“what bar he was coming from.”

McDonald, who claimed to have consumed two drinks, had 
bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and unsteady balance, 
cops noted. He also appeared to be dressed in a “flasher” 
costume: “Def was only wearing a trench coat and a piece 
of cloth that looked like a penis.”

Upon arrival at the police precinct, McDonald “attempted 
to eat toilet paper, thinking it would mess with” the 
Breathalyzer. McDonald had initially refused the breath 
test, but “changed his mind after attempting to eat the 
toilet paper.”

Despite McDonald’s cunning plan, his blood alcohol content 
was measured at .165, twice the legal limit.

Since McDonald has prior drunk driving convictions, he was 
hit with a felony charge carrying a maximum five-year 
prison sentence. Seen in the above mug shot, McDonald was 
released from jail yesterday afternoon after posting 
$5000 bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Hank
Re: Black Screen
Dear Webby,
Still getting black screen when I surf and also stuck cursor.
I tried system restore and it wouldn't work.
Should I install the disc to renew installation?
 
hank

If you have a restore disk, then that would definitely be 
an option.
Some machines have a restore disk in a hidden partition.
Call Support of the manufacturer and ask them to walk you 
through a restore.

You have to do that, of course, back up all your data, 
spreadsheet files, documents you have written, addresses, 
tips and tricks and cheat-sheet files, and your awesome 
collection of pussycat pictures.

Also the setup files of all programs and the license numbers 
of all the bought ones.

A restore totally wipes out everything you got, and restores 
the machine to the same state, that it was when you bought it. 

A total back-up like that is of course highly recommended 
anyway, even if you are not going to restore just yet.

Before getting quite that drastic, you could try installing 
Chrome and then Uninstalling IE and FF. 

I would also recommend that you use the DeCrapifier at 
https://www.pcdecrapifier.com/ and weed out any program, 
that you are not actually using.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

A couple was going out for the evening.  They were both
ready to go, nice clothes, hair done, perfume, cologne,
cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their
home, the cat shot back into the house.  Not wanting
their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while
they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase
the cat out.

Well, the wife did not want anyone to know the house
would be empty for the evening, so she explained to the
taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to
my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and
said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid old ninny was
hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop
to get her to come out."

The cab driver almost hit a parked car.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Picasso Light Switch Plate Cover

Turn a plain white light switch cover into a little Picasso 
like painting.
Approximate Time: 25 min

Supplies:
1 light switch cover with screws
1 flat screwdriver
sponge to clean surface on switchplate cover
newspaper
permanent markers or acrylic paint
paint brushes

Steps:
Turn light off. Remove light switch cover if you don't 
already have one.
Place down newspaper.
Wipe well with sponge and dry.
Mark basic ouline with black permanent marker, including eye, 
nose, and mouth.
Paint and color, use your own ideas and colors. Have fun 
creating abstract art known as cubism!

Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer.
When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the 
screws to match eye and lips and paint them.
Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer.
When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the 
screws to match eye and lips and paint them.

All done! Enjoy your little Picasso like mini painting. :)

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn_-ckw4um8
By KIM HOGGAN [8]

You can, of course, also just glue wallpaper or any picture
onto switch and outlet covers. Spray-on contact cement
works best. Spray the switch cover and the back of the 
picture, let it dry a bit, and position it on it.
Trim the edges or fold them under it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom
observing her students while they draw. One little girl is
working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what
she is working on.

"I'm drawing God," the child says.

The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what
God looks like."

Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replies, "They will in a minute."

___________________________________________________



2015 World Synchro Champs SP Team Canada

____________________________________________________

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a
woman: before marriage
  and after marriage. 

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
In the 1960s I was still very young and working at my very 
first job. To supplement my income I cleaned house on 
Saturdays for a friend. My friend was quite messy plus he 
had a large dog that shed pounds of hair, so it usually 
took several hours to clean his apartment. One day I was 
about ready to go home when he called to ask if I would 
place some chicken in the oven to broil as he'd be home 
soon. 

Where I grew up we fried chicken, so I knew nothing about 
broiling. I asked for instructions and he told me to pull 
out the rack, place the chicken on it and turn on the 
broiler. It sounded easy enough so I took him at his word 
and placed the chicken on the rack and turned on the oven 
to “broil.”

About 15-20 minutes later he came home looking forward to 
broiled chicken. You're going to have to "picture" this. 
What he came home to was chicken laying on the oven rack, 
the skin hanging and dripping between the slats! 
I had no idea there was a difference in oven racks and 
broiler racks. I sure did after I cleaned up the mess!
Noella
____________________________________________________






Watching these kinetic 
sculptures is mesmerizing!





Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa 
 Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself 
 to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
 England insisted on monopoly rights to sell Opium.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte, 
 IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia. 
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet 
 and William C. Durant. 
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese 
 may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a 
 supermarket in Chester, NY. 
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade 
 satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into 
 space, a dog named Laika. There was not enough cooling and the dog 
 died from heatstroke.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it 
 became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death 
 in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC. 
 Eight others were wounded. 
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the 
 story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven 
 American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair. 
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran. 
1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-ever 
 face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two 
 sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had 
 been abducted by a black carjacker. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington 
 National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am 
 Flight 103. 
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro 
 wrestler, as its governor. 
2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a 
 58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution 
 was unveiled. 
2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the 
 first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 
2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for 
 business. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 2

Thank you Andy !!!
Thank you Carol !
Thank you Virginia !!.
Thank you James !
Thank you Richard !
Thank you Bonnie !
Thank You Gary !!.
Thank you William .
Thank You Svend !.
Thank You Ronald !

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
Florida twin women arrested after holding up 
convenience store
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 2, in
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with 
 Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American 
 Birth Control League. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous 
without ability.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
--- David Dunham
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Seen in a State Park in California:
"Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope)
Check the Rock.
If it's wet, it's raining.
If it's moving, it's windy.
If you can't see it, it's foggy.
If rock is gone, it's a tornado."


I wonder if that was inspired by the old 2 foot iron ball
windometer by the bridge outside of Lethbridge, Alberta?


One time driving by there a few decades ago I noticed the
ball was missing and mentioned it to my hitch-hiker.
She didn't think it was safe to drive on up to Calgary.
I agreed with her and we soon found safe and quite
cozy refuge in a really nice motel :-)

______________________________________________________

Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless,
and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather
mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program
asked Florence how she would describe her chili
-- three alarm or four alarm. 

After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other 
chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine 
false alarm."

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Gary for this picture:



Hello Webby,
Huckleberry Lake is a favorite fishing spot of mine. 
Located in the Absaroka-Beartooth wilderness of Montana. 
It was the last picture the old 35mm took before it died. 
Feel free to post it if you want.
Gary Lorenzen

______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Walter, The Stonecarver for 
reporting this one:

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Kirstie Bergeron, Kayla Bergeron
24,
Daytona Beach,
Florida



Florida twins arrested after holding up 
convenience store

Twin sisters are locked up on robbery charges after they 
allegedly held up a Florida convenience store at gunpoint 
Tuesday evening.

According to police, Kirstie Bergeron and her sibling Kayla 
walked into the Food Mart store in Daytona Beach and proceeded 
to a refrigerator, where Kayla selected a bottle of ginger ale.

The 24-year-old twins then approached the front counter. 
“I have a gun, open the register!” announced Kayla, as detailed 
in a Circuit Court charging affidavit. “Are you kidding me?” 
replied clerk Sabbir Ahmed.

Kayla then “removed her hand from her pocket and displayed 
what appeared to be a small handgun,” reported an investigator. 
As Kayla pointed the piece at Ahmed, the 37-year-old worker 
opened the cash register and Kirstie reached over the counter 
and snatched $230.

The Bergerons fled the scene in a black Volkswagen Beetle 
that was parked next to the store. But as the twins departed, 
Ahmed copied down the car’s license plate number. The siblings 
were soon arrested after a traffic stop less than a mile 
from the Food Mart.

Kirstie and Kayla are pictured in the above mug shots.

While cops recovered the stolen cash and the ginger ale, no 
firearm was found. Police suspect the weapon “may have been 
discarded” following the robbery.

Charged with robbery with a firearm or deadly weapon, the 
Bergerons are each locked up in the Volusia County jail 
on $25,000 bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Sandra
Re: Free Powerpoint
Dear Webby,
For some reason I have micros-soft office Word and Excel, 
but no Power Point program. Is it safe to download one of 
the free Powerpoint programs without worry about crap getting 
on my computer?  Thanks, I know it sounds like a 'dumb' 
question, but I want no virus or tracking stuff on my 
otherwise safe zones; I use both Malwarbeytes and Avast.
Again, I'm so glad your computer guru talents are available 
to people like me!  
SD

Dear Sandra
Yes, if you go to the vendors directly, it is perfectly safe.

You can get Open Office at
http://www.openoffice.org/download/

They celebrated their 100 MILLIONth download by last month.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

 One evening a few years ago my
friend Bill ran out of gas on his way home from work.
Being short on cash, as usual, he walked  6 Miles
to get home, and left his pick-up truck where it sat, in
front of the topless bar next door to the massage parlor.

By then his wife had gone to Bingo and he couldn't get
neither money for gas, nor a ride back to the truck, so
he cooked supper, cleaned up the kitchen and then
went to bed.

At the next church elder meeting, Miss Myrna,  the
town gossip ranted on about his immoral conduct and
about how she had PROOF, because she saw where
he had parked ALL night !

Well, Bill told his co-workers about that, and one of
them was a regular at that topless bar. That guy told
the story there. From then on, whenever he or his friends
planned to later take a cab home rather than drive drunk,
they all parked their vehicles in front of Miss Myrna's
lonely house, - and walked half a mile to the bar.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing a Stuck Lid from a Pan

My boyfriend was making burgers and wanted to melt cheese 
on top of one with a bun covering it. To melt the cheese 
faster, he put a glass lid over the burger and the steam 
sucked it into the pan and then it was stuck. I did a Google 
search for help without much luck. I left the pan in the 
fridge for a few days, took it out today and decided to hit 
the side of the pan against the concrete. The lid came out 
instantly! Try this instead of other methods and you'll get 
your pan back in record time!
By Stacy G. [1]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old
dance called the Politician.
"All you have to do" she told her class, is this:
two steps forward,
three steps back,
then side-step, side-step,
turn around"

___________________________________________________



Crazy dog chases it's own leg

____________________________________________________

Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of
attending a meeting?

"Just for the halibut."

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
The day was already going badly. I'm complaining to Bill 
that the milk had been left out all night, it was the last 
day to renew car tags, but we needed an inspection and 
everybody was closed, the shopping cart at Aldis won’t let 
me have my cart nor my quarter back. Then while unloading 
groceries I lock my purse and keys in the trunk. As I said, 
the day was not good.

I remembered the back seat pulled down, so here I am with 
my back killing me, crawling around the back of a small 
Cavalier fighting groceries. Finally find my purse and keys, 
crawl out and drive home where I have to unload groceries 
(about 6 trips) up six steps and into the house. Then there's 
laundry and emptying the dishwasher and putting groceries 
away. BUT I have to go back to the store because I forgot 
we need stuff for the Halloween party for 40+ kids.

I am really feeling sorry for myself and I'm complaining - 
crawling around did not help my back. I'm looking for 
sympathy, but Bill just questions, Why didn’t you use 
the trunk release beside the front seat? 
Noella
____________________________________________________






Best of the month of October, People Are Awesome. 





Today, November 2, in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his 
 title to emperor. 
1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont, became 
 the first traitor of the American Revolution when he deserted. 
1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 
1883 Thomas Edison got a patent for an electrical indicator using 
 the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031). 
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first American gasoline powered car contest
1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support for 
 a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with 
 Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American 
 Birth Control League. 
1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 
1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. 
 It was named DuPrene. 
1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden airplane, 
 for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's first and only 
 flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of the white-gray 
 color of the spruce used to build it, never went into production. 
1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in 
a military coup. 
1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for 
 permanent residence in the U.S. 
1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey 
 prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973 
 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 
1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the U.S. 
 since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of her 
 boyfriend. 
1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being held in 
 Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 
1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of taxicab 
 service in Princeton, NJ. 
1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good because 
 of fear due to his HIV infection. 
1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's 
 diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 
1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up $1.1 billion 
 in trading losses. 
2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The film recorded 
 the best debut ever for an animated film and the 6th best of all time. 
2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the church's 
 first openly gay bishop.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 31
End of Summer Time in most of North America.
Let your clocks fall back an hour tonight.
You get an extra hour of sleep.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Today's Bonehead Award 
and a Darwin Award goes to a
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 29, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the 
 Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the 
 Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been 
educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
--- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592) 

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think
of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
--- Mark Twain

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then
to give a thought for the other fellow.
He could be plotting something.
--- Hagar the Horrible
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a
ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man
and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied,
"You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"

______________________________________________________

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with
great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the
wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in
the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced
with a wide grin, "For our .hic... clo-shing shong, let ush
shing Hymn # 365: "We Shall Gather at the River."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by


Floyd Ray Cook, 
62,
Brookhaven, 
Georgia



Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out

A fugitive accused of shooting a Tennessee police officer 
and firing at a Kentucky trooper was killed in a shootout 
with authorities early Friday, ending a nearly weeklong 
manhunt. 

Floyd Ray Cook, 62, was pronounced dead at the scene near 
Burkesville, Ky., after being confronted by state troopers 
and a federal marshal who were searching an embankment, 
a Kentucky State Police rep says. Cook was armed with a 
handgun and exchanged gunfire with the officers, the 
rep adds. No officers were injured. Cook was accused 
of shooting and wounding an Algood, Tenn., police officer 
during a traffic stop last Saturday afternoon and fled 
in a black Ford truck.

Just over an hour later, a Kentucky State Police trooper 
tried to stop him just beyond the Tennessee state line, 
authorities say. Cook tried to speed away but wrecked. 
He allegedly opened fire on the officer, missed, and 
ran into the woods. 

A swath of the border between Kentucky and Tennessee 
had since been gripped with fear of the man authorities 
described as "armed, dangerous, and desperate." 
Convicted of rape in the 1970s, Cook was wanted in 
Marion County, Ky., for failing to comply with the sex 
offender registry, a sheriff says. He also had previous 
convictions for robbery, burglary, assault, and riot, 
and he was wanted in Hardin County on an indictment 
charging him with trafficking methamphetamine and 
tampering with evidence.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Dave
Re: Keystroke recorder
Dear Webby,
I hope all is well. I wanted to know if you have hear of a 
program that will allow your computer to record the keystrokes 
and then "replay them" (to cut down on repetitive tasks)?

Thanks,
Dave 

Dear Dave
There are lots of those. They are usually called macro 
recorders. An old one has been in Windows since 3.1, I think.
The XP and up version is described with instructions at
Macro Recorder

Here is a review of the top ten macro recorders:
Top 10

Just pick the one that suits you best.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

A mother took her three year old daughter to church for
the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the
choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was
quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice
"Happy Birthday to you!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ice for Getting Gum out of a Dryer

When I found the gum, I didn't want to put a chemical in 
my dryer, nor did I want to scrape it with a knife and an 
ice cube. Here is how I got gum out of my dryer fast.

I had saved a couple of those plastic fishnet bottle or 
candle covers (open at both ends) in my junk drawer. I 
took a rubber band and sealed off one end of the plastic 
cover. I filled it with ice and sealed off the other end 
with another rubber band. I scrubbed using the ice bag 
as a sponge and followed with a dry rag. It made quick 
work of getting the gum out of the dryer.
By Mary Keenan W. [1]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

During a rather heated argument a teenager said,
"I didn't ask to be born."
His father: replied,
"Good thing you didn't  'Cause the answer would  have
been 'NO!!!'."

___________________________________________________



Restroom Mirror prank

____________________________________________________

After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6
year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest
of the week.
"Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes
care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the
poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in
public isn't an easy job, you know."

The boy thought about that, then said,
"Well, listening ain't easy, either."

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
Saturday mornings in St. Louis I'd walk downtown, shop for a 
while, eat lunch, catch a movie, and then walk home. This 
particular day even though my hair was a mess and really 
needed washing, it was very important that I pick up whatever 
it was I needed, so I walked downtown. While looking through 
the electronics department, I noticed on their television that 
there was a lady whose hair was similar to mine and I thought 
to myself, well, her hair doesn’t look so bad. The longer I 
studied the screen I noticed that her clothes were similar to 
my own.

I studied her a while, and I finally realized I was watching 
myself. This was the first time I’d ever seen a closed-circuit 
TV in use. I had to look around and make sure no one saw me 
“admiring” myself before I hurried out.

Noella
____________________________________________________






AirShow Budapest 
Beautiful town and awesome aerobatics





Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the 
 Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the 
 Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers 
 (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis 
 resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been 
 damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the 
 stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini 
 had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and 
 their ability to withstand hard blows. 
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain 
 prevented Germany from invading Britain. 
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work. 
 At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington, 
 Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln 
 were finished. 
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a 
 German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered 
 World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a 
 revolt against French rule. 
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land 
 an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first 
 person to set foot on the South Pole. 
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, 
 TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the 
 time he was in Moscow, Russia. 
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. 
 bombing of North Vietnam. 
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as 
 Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 
1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the 
 U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had 
 mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near 
 her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, 
 was sworn in as prime minister. 
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had 
 been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were 
 blamed for the murders. 
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged 
 into a northern Indiana farm. 
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in 
 prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death 
 of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence 
 was reduced to manslaughter. 
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms 
 inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons 
 of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA, 
 killing all 217 people aboard. 
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church 
 signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The 
 event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of 
 faith and salvation. 
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of 
 VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States 
 supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Georgia man, who was arrested after he smashed Waffle House 
door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 29, in
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton 
 County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave 
 uprising in American history. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Few things are harder to put up with than the 
annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to
guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as
he hesitated.

"I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the
trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten
years younger because of your looks of ten years older
because of your wisdom."

______________________________________________________

HOW FAITHS FIGHT FIRES
Recently, just as an ecumenical gathering was
commencing, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The
building is on fire!"

The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"

The Quakers quietly praised God for blessings that fire
brings.

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring that
fire was evil.

The Roman Catholics called Rome for instructions.

The Jews blamed the Christians and demanded they should pay.

The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself."

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!"

The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

The Christian Scientists concluded that the toxic fumes
from the burning carpets would kill them before the fire
reached them.

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson, who was to
appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a
written report.

The Pentecostals danced and sang with joy, "The Pentecostal 
fire has come!"

The Unity Students proclaimed the fire had no power over them.

Some Atheists in attendance didn't believe there was a fire.

The Muslims stated it was Ahlla's will.

The Pastafarians grabbed the fire extinguisher, put out 
the fire and conrtinued eating their spaghetti.

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by


Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 
39,
Brookhaven, 
Georgia



Man arrested after he smashed Waffle House 
door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike

Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, was arrested Sunday morning 
after police said he shattered the front door of a Waffle 
House in Brookhaven, Georgia.

The reason for the breakfast breaking: He was allegedly 
angry the restaurant raised the price for a sausage biscuit 
from $1 to $1.50, WSBTV.com reports.

A Waffle House waitress told police that when Feinberg saw 
the bill with the 50-cent price hike, he became belligerent 
because “someone had only charged him $1 [for a sausage 
biscuit] on previous dates,” according to the Atlanta 
Journal-Constitution.

Surveillance video reportedly shows the suspect get up from 
a corner booth, throw his bill on the floor and kick the 
front door on his way out.

When the glass shattered, Feinberg fled the scene, only to 
be arrested outside a nearby apartment complex a short time 
later.

Police said Feinberg told them he "barely kicked the door” 
when it shattered, and said he only kicked it because “he 
did not want to open the greasy door with his hand,” 
according to the police report.

Feinberg was booked into the DeKalb County Jail on charges 
of disorderly conduct, criminal trespass and criminal damage 
to property. He remains in custody in lieu of $2,500 bond.

The Brookhaven Police Dept. decided to use the incident as 
a teachable moment on Facebook.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Christine
Re: How do you know a caller is a scammer?
Dear Webby,
How do I know a caller is a scammer?
Couldn't it be somebody helpful?
Christine

Dear Christine
Except for close friends, NOBODY legitimate calls you
out of the blue about supposed problems in your computer.

You can ignore those totally phony messages about Microsoft
contacting you if they ever find out why a program locked 
up. That's from Windows 3, and they have never contacted
anybody yet, as far as I know.

If the caller claims to be from your ISP, then they are
just as phony. Your ISP does not give a hoot about what
goes on inside your computer, as long as YOU don't call 
them.

The same goes for anybody calling and asking any 
information "to verify that it is really you." 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

Who is known as the "godfather of America"?
German geographer and mapmaker Martin Waldseemueller,
whose book "Cosmographiae Introductio" was first
published in 1507, named the New World "America" 
in the mistaken belief that it was Italian navigator 
and merchant Amerigo Vespucci who discovered the 
new continent.

And the Indians are forever grateful that they were
not discovered while somebody got lost on the way
to Turkey.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sorting Socks into Pairs

The one item I never put into a dryer is socks, because they 
always seem to shrink in there. So instead they get hung on 
the washing line on good days, or indoors on a foldaway airer 
on rainy days. Either way, this makes for a good opportunity 
to sort socks into pairs at an optimum time.

It's a job I am sure that most of us hate, but if you do it 
as you hang them up it is an absolute breeze to sort out 
which matches what. Then very simply bunch the pairs together 
as you take them down once they are dry. Have a shoe box or 
something similar for odd socks and keep them in there for 
a few weeks in case their partners turn up on a subsequent 
washday.
By ShirleyE [29]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no
attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was
ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra
loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope
you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in
there. They take some time but are quite effective.
He'll be quiet soon."

___________________________________________________



 The drunk

____________________________________________________

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised
his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and
said, I don't belong here, I should be in third
grade!'

The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told
him to please take his seat. Not five minutes passed
when little Larry stood up again and said, I don't
belong here, I should be in the third grade!'

Larry did this a few more times before the principal
came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem.

The principal told little Larry that if he could
answer some questions that they could decide in which
grade he belonged.

Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the
state capitals and country capitals that the principal
could think of. The teacher suggested they try some
biology questions.

What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?'
asked the teacher.

'Legs!' Larry immediately replied.

What does a man have in his pants that a woman
doesn't?' asked the teacher.

Pockets!' said Larry.
The teacher looked at the principal, who said, Maybe
he should be in third grade, I flunked those last two
questions!'

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
For as long as I can remember I've been plagued with 
trying to remember names and faces. All the tried and true 
remedies failed.

One day in the checkout lane at a new grocery store, a young 
man came up, pushed my cart away, and started bagging my 
groceries. I was wondering now how am I going to get them out 
to my car, they're way too heavy to carry.

I was about to ask for the cart when he asked if I wanted
help. Irritated, I said yes,� thinking now that you pushed
 my cart away, you CAN take them out for me. 
However, he was very pleasant and chatted about what a nice 
day it was. I replied that yes it WAS a nice day, I just 
needed to find my car. (I also forget stuff like that.) 
He responded, "Oh that's okay, I see it."�

 Surprised, I asked, How do YOU know where my car is?" 
His reply -- 
"I'm your next-door neighbor!"�

Noella
____________________________________________________






Let's arm chair travel 
around this big ol' beautiful world we live on.  It will only take about a week.





Today, October 30, in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established 
 by Simon Bolivar. 
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton 
 County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave 
 uprising in American history. 
1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 
1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman 
 Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper. 
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio. 
 The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live 
 news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of 
 approximately 58 megatons. 
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase 
 Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 
1972 45 people were killed when two trains collided in Chicago. 
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator 
 Francisco Franco was near death. 
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: 
 Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President 
 Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal 
 bailout of New York City. 
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity 
 priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four 
 security officers. 
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent 
 of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, 
 performed the world's first animal dissections in space, 
 while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian 
 President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military 
 still in control. 
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a 
 referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the 
 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided 
 the plane. 
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw out 
 the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the New 
 York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks. 
2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington Wizards 
 after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91 to the 
 New York Knicks.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 29

Thank you, Pat!!
Thank you Clyde!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a
Dopey UCSB Student, who died from blood loss 
after punching through window
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 29, in
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an 
 independent commonwealth. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

The best ideas come as jokes. 
Make your thinking as funny as possible.
--- David M. Ogilvy

"Committees have become so important nowadays that
subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work."
--- Laurence J. Peter
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

More than anything, a young man from the city wanted
to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took
pity on him and gave the lad a chance.

"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We
use it to catch cows."

"I see," said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as
he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for
bait?"

"City Slickers. Cows love chasing and scaring them."

______________________________________________________

The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for
dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow,
eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick,
and then turned to me and a dozen other mysterious
concoctions, and then asked: 
"Does this look natural?"

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by


Andres Esteban Sanchez, 
20,
Poway, 
California




Dopey UCSB Student Dies from Blood Loss 
After Punching Through Window

UCSB student Andres “Andy” Sanchez died in surgery Sunday 
morning at Cottage Hospital two hours after he punched 
through a window in his Isla Vista apartment and severely 
lacerated his arm.

According to the Nexus report, which relied on information 
provided by Senior Deputy James McKarrell with the Isla 
Vista Foot Patrol, Sheriff’s deputies responded at approx 
4:40 a.m. to the 6700 block of Abrego Road after receiving 
calls of a male subject running down the street screaming 
for help. 

When deputies came upon a panicked Sanchez in a nearby 
apartment complex, three people were holding him down and 
attempting to calm him. A blanket had been wrapped around 
his arm, and when the deputies removed it, they observed 
a “cut approximately three-quarter inches in diameter 
around his arm.” Witnesses said blood was “literally flying” 
from the wound.

Sanchez, a second-year pre-biology major from Poway, 
California, was transported to Cottage Hospital but died 
from blood loss just before 7 a.m.

One of Sanchez’s roommates told authorities he had rushed 
into their apartment earlier in the evening “talking 
gibberish, and obviously under the influence of drugs” the 
Nexus reported. At some point he punched through a window 
and cut his arm on the broken glass.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Francine
Re: Phone call about computer problems
Dear Webby,
You sure saved me some trouble today. I am sure glad I was
able to contact you via Skype while I was on the phone with
the scammer. You were hilarious!

Please tell all the subscribers about our little adventure!
You got a much better way with words than I do.
Francine

Dear Francine
OK, will do.
Francine got a call from somebody with an Indian or Pakistani
accent, telling her that she has problems in her computer,
that are affecting her ISP and the Internet.

Francine is a pretty smart lady and thought that was not
right. So she correctly guessed that my Skype handle is
dearwebby, and contacted me, while stalling the scammer.
As they usually do, he told her to click on START,
type Eventvwr and hit Enter.

Eventvwr is some ancient viewer from troubleshooting 
Windows during developing Windows95, and the "events" shown
are totally harmless and of interest only to programmers.
A print job, for example, can generate a dozen or more
Warnings and Errors, before Windows and the Printer agree 
on a proper handshake. No big deal. That's how Windows 
works. 

The scammer tried to scare Francine about the Warnings and  
Errors, and I fed Francine smart-ass remarks and dumb 
questions to sidetrack the scammer. 

Needless to say, she did not download anything and did not
agree to anything. The scammer wanted her to download
a program, so that he could reach into her computer and
"assist" her in fixing the problems. Yeah, right.

Much fun was had by us giving the scammer the runaround.
After we tired of that nonsense, Francine told the scammer
what to do with a Billy-Goat. 

If you get a call from anybody telling you that you have
problems in your computer, don't download anything, don't
go visit any pages, don't agree to anything, and don't give
them any information, no correct information anyway.
Play stupid, difficult, paranoid, aggressive, whatever.
Just don't cooperate. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

On their 40th wedding anniversary, during the banquet,
the husband was asked to give his friends a brief
account of the benefits of a marriage of such long
duration.

One in the crowd said, "Tell us, just what is it you
have learned from all those wonderful years with your
wife?"

The husband said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is
the best teacher of all.  It teaches you loyalty,
meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness . .
and a lot of other disciplines that you wouldn't
have needed if you had stayed single."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Uses for Mint Tins

I hate to throw away those cute mint tins so I've come up 
with a few idea's to use them in the car or purse.
I put in some almonds/cashews (or your favorite) nuts to 
keep in the car for when I get a snack urge. Then I don't 
buy junk food......as often~

I also keep a few of my husband's meds in a tin, then if 
we are out visiting and stay over, he always has them!

I bring along my vitamin supplements that I take. I also 
bring along chewable vitamins like calcium chews or 
gummies for adults that we never seem to want to take at 
home and have them on the road. Then our gummy snack is 
actually a healthy one!

It's a great mini first aid kit and can hold quite a number 
of band aids, ibuprofen, alcohol wipes, etc.

I always keep a $20 bill and a number of quarters in the car 
as well. You could lose a wallet, run out of gas without 
your credit card, need toll money. You never know!

If you like to take spontaneous hikes or nature walks, a tin 
with a few additional items like: a whistle, matches (and the 
relighting birthday candles!) plus a pocket knife, mirror 
(for signaling if lost) are great to carry along!

These are ideas for just the car/purse, in the house the 
options are endless!
So don't throw out those tins!
By Donna [291]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

We stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought us
each a bowl of soup.

As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen, Pa
stopped him, calling: "Waiter!"
"Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?"
"The soup. Taste it," replied Pa.
"I beg your pardon, Sir?"
"Taste it."
"But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
"Taste it," Pa persisted.
"Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest
ingredients."
"Taste it!"
The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right,
Sir, I'll taste it."

Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"

To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "

___________________________________________________



 I GOT this dance!

____________________________________________________

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased
that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly
led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.

"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said.
"I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better
than any I ever had over there."

"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use
domestic cheese. Ours is imported."

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
The year was 1974, I didn't have a crock pot or any other 
modern kitchen doodads. I had just moved into a new apartment 
and equipping a kitchen was the least of my concerns. As long 
as the oven made heat and the fridge made cold, I was satisfied. 

Anyway, a friend was coming over for dinner so I had to draw 
from my scant culinary skills. PBJ sandwiches came to mind but 
I was able to fend off the thought. I'd heard that you could 
put a roast in the oven, turn it on to 200 F (93.3 C), and let 
it cook all day. Sounded okay to me so in the oven went the 
roast and I left for work.
 
Eight hours later, I drove up to my apartment (an old house 
that was divided into units) and as I'm getting out of the car, 
I'm wondering what IS that odor? The closer I got to my door, 
the stronger it became. I followed the plume to a white oven 
that was now several endearing shades of brown. As if the 
experience hadn’t done enough damage to my ego, I proceeded to 
open the oven door. I didn't see how any more smoke could be 
in there, but my judgment was about to take the same beating my 
ego had suffered. There was a big enough cloud in there to darken 
all the adjacent apartments and then some! After gaining some 
modicum of composure, I grabbed a pair of pot holders and blindly 
reached around for the pan that held my roast. I found it just as 
I was ready to collapse from smoke inhalation and carried it out 
to the front porch. I tried to take the lid off but It wouldn't 
budge. After several minutes of praying and prying with a screwdriver, 
I was finally able to pop the lid. Once the smoke from inside the pan 
had cleared, I saw what had happened to my beautiful roast. I poked 
it with the screwdriver and found that it went all the way through to 
the air beneath the crust. Ninety five percent of my beautiful 
roast was billowing out of my apartment windows - the other five 
percent was in my lungs. It had not been a good day. 

I later discovered that my oven had one tiny eccentricity. No matter 
what I set it for, it cooked at 550 F (288 C). If I had gone to my 
mail box, it would have been done by the time I got back. 
Those PBJ sandwiches were sounding better by the minute. 

____________________________________________________






18 reasons you 
should never travel to Chiapas.





Today, October 29, in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that 
 had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy 
 against King James I. 
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an 
 independent commonwealth. 
1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was 
 the founder of Pennsylvania. 
1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 
1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, 
 was electrocuted. 
1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution 
 of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, 
 later known as Kemal Ataturk. 
1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the 
 Wall Street stock market. 
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 
1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went 
 on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price 
 of $12.50 each. 
1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez 
 Canal Crisis. 
1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use 
 close-circuit television. 
1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight. 
1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all 
 school segregation. 
1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. 
 He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him 
 over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 
1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding 
 discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or 
 marital status 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's 
 regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during 
 its occupation of Kuwait. 
1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an 
 asteroid (Gaspra). 
1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to 
 pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President 
 Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power. 
1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the 
 Food and Drug Administration. 
1995 Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers became the NFL's 
 career leader in receiving yards with 14,040 yards. 
1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission 
 condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the 
 African National Congress. 
1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn 
 on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the 
 first American to orbit the Earth. 
1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for 
 $2 million at a New York auction. 
2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV 
 network telecast. 
2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


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not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man, who was arrested for attacking a
Karaoke DJ over mic volume
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly 
pathetic that it has to be us.
--- Jerry Garcia, (of the Grateful Dead) 

"The nine most terrifying words in the English 
language are, 'I'm from the government and 
I'm here to help.' 
--- Ronald Reagan
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The basketball coach stormed into the university
President's office and demanded a raise right then and
there.

"Please," protested the college President, "you
already make more than the entire History department."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put
up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an
example."

The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock
who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my
office and see if I'm there," he ordered.

Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out
of breath.

"You're not there, sir," he reported.

"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President,
scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."

______________________________________________________

Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing
his wedding ring. She asked,
"Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?"
He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."
She answered back, "It's supposed to!"

______________________________________________________

Kansas 


My friend shared this tree with me.  I thought you might enjoy it too.  
Be safe and careful.  You are a valued person.  
Janice

______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Joshua Fort, 
26,
DeBary, 
Florida,




Florida man was arrested for attacking 
Karaoke DJ over mic sound

The only record this karaoke singer will have is a 
criminal one.

A man in DeBary, Florida, was arrested Thursday morning 
after police said he assaulted a karaoke DJ at Blackie's 
Bar.

Joshua Fort, 26, was performing the Jay Z and Justin 
Timberlake jam "Holy Grail' with another man, when he 
sounded a discordant note at the job being done by DJ 
Omar Isaac, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.

Police said when Isaac didn't pump up the volume on 
Fort's microphone, the suspect responded in a way that 
speaks volumes.

First, Fort grabbed the DJ’s laptop computer and slammed 
it shut. Then witnesses said the suspect threw a glass at 
Isaac that hit the DJ on the side of his head. 

Fort is also accused of pulling the DJ to the dance floor 
and throwing him on the ground there, according to WNDB.com.

Fort fled the scene, but later turned himself into the 
Volusia County Jail, where he was charged with aggravated 
battery with a deadly weapon. He was released on $5,000 bond.

The suspect told police he ran from the karaoke bar because 
because he “knew he was going to be in trouble” and that 
“everyone would point fingers at him,” according to a police 
report obtained by WNDB.com.

Before his arrest, he was treated at a local hospital for 
injury to his left hand.

Because the alleged crime centered around karaoke, the 
Florida Sun-Sentinel suggested the suspect be shipped off 
to Sing Sing.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Neil
Re: Tracker PDF editor
Dear Webby,
PDF Exchange does have a free version that is likely to be 
close to the same as Nitro. On their main page, in the 
upper left corner just below the banner is a graphic that 
says Get Free PDF Viewer now. If you click on that graphic 
it will download the free viewer. I liked their product 
so much that I purchased it, but I have many pdf docs that 
I must edit and annotate. 
http://www.tracker-software.com/

Neil
Dear Neil
Thank you for that info!

Marlene also reported on that:
"this is a program I have used for several years.  
this version is free"

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

A minister was planning a wedding at the close
of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the
couple down to be married for a brief ceremony
before the congregation. For the life of him, he
couldn't think of the names of those who were
to be married. So he simply asked:
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?"

Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows,
tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal
wedding gown stepped to the front.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Molasses Sugar Cookies

This is a crisp spice cookie. I make them every Christmas 
and give some away for gifts. They were my late mother's 
favorite and it reminds me of her when I make them.

Approximate Time: About 15 minutes plus 1 hour chilling 
and 8-10 min.baking time

Yield: Approximately 3 doz.

Ingredients:
3/4 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg
2 tsp baking soda
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

Steps:
Melt the shortening in a 3 or 4 quart saucepan over low heat. 
Remove from heat and let cool. Then add sugar, molasses and 
egg and beat well using an electric hand mixer.
In a separate bowl combine the flour with the rest of the 
dry ingredients.
Mix the wet and dry ingredients together. Chill for 1 hour.
Form into 1 inch balls and roll in granulated sugar. 
Place on a greased cookie sheet, a silicon mat or parchment 
paper. Space about 2 inches apart.
Bake at 375ºF for 8-10 minutes.
Source: A recipe on the bottle of Brer Rabbit Molasses
By Diana W. [12]

You can drastically cut down on the sugar and increase 
molasses to get traditional soft gingerbread cookies. 
You have to add more flour until you can roll the dough
into balls. They will melt into flat cookies in the oven.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from
Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of
Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and
found out the cost was $200 one-way.

Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a
sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now
Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he
lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100.

Well during the flight, he talking with the passenger
seated next to him. And, in the course of their little
chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party
his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked
fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear
that part of the conversation and remembered from the
passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid
half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked
Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him.

Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only
have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive
in Boston..  Why you ask?"

Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this
used parachute."

Jean-Claude, "What for?"
Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over
18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave
now."
___________________________________________________



 the internet cloud is not where you think

____________________________________________________

A passenger train in California is creeping along, slowly. 
Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor
walking by outside. 
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The
woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened?
Did we catch up with the cow again?"

----------------
Yeah, I remember a train like that in Austria. 
It had little porches at each end of the wagons 
and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train 
is in motion is not permitted." 
Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the 
flower pickers passed the train.

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
Out of Cascade? Wanna know what happens when you use about 
a quarter-cup full of Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher? 
Well, I did one day!

I'm in my bedroom curling my hair to go somewhere, and I 
hear one of the twins in the kitchen. "Uh, Noella? I think 
you need to come in here."

"Why? You guys need to get ready."

"Uh, Noella? There's suds all over the floor, Lots of suds, 
they're covering the whole floor!"

I groan, walk into the kitchen, and sure enough, there ARE 
suds all over the floor. They're headed for the computer sitting 
on the floor just a few feet away.

The boys bring lots of towels from the bathroom and I call my 
husband, who is laughing his head off. His solution - get out 
my Rainbow (dust and dirt is sucked into a container of water) 
and start vacuuming the water out.

You know what happens when you vacuum suds with a Rainbow? 
The motor starts sounding funny. So, I shut it off and open it, 
to find that it took the water out of the dishwasher okay but 
now suds are way up in the motor. I did remember the salesman 
told us that if that ever happened, disconnect from the water 
housing and run dry. Now not only is the floor still covered 
with suds, there's more water plus oil on the floor. And we've 
got to be somewhere in just a few minutes!

Moral of the story is - unless you want to use LOTS of towels 
to sop up water, never, ever use Dawn dish soap in your 
dishwasher!
____________________________________________________






Someone had a lot of time on their hands centuries ago!





Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the 
 American Revolutionary War. 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor 
 by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and 
 is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty 
 Enlightening the World." 
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use 
 fingerprinting. 
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known 
 as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 
 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. 
 Constitution. 
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government 
 and introduced fascism to Italy. 
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that 
 he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective 
 guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, 
 was completed. 
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard 
 Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin 
 serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply 
 deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled 
 guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion 
 pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug 
 after the government of France demanded it do so. 
1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a 
 complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the 
 troops there would be home by Christmas. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 27

Thank you Jim H.!!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Iowa man, who was arrested after stealing a taxi
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
 first Quakers to be executed in America. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Statistics: The only science that enables different 
experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter
playing "wedding."

The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say
will be turned around and used against you, you have
the right to have an attorney present. 
You may kiss the bride today."

______________________________________________________

Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes
towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My
husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them
'reruns'."

"You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a
Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!"

"That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady.
"My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Jim Hetrick for sending this picture, taken by 
Don Hole, one of his former students, who works the midnight 
shift at the Outer Banks Fishing Pier.:


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Luis Orellana-Rivera, 
26,
Des Moines,
Iowa




Iowa man was arrested after stealing a taxi

An Iowa resident arrested for stealing a taxi moments after 
his release from a Des Moines hospital told cops that he 
boosted the ride because he did not want to walk the six 
blocks to his residence.

According to police, Luis Orellana-Rivera, 26, hopped into 
a running cab parked outside Mercy Medical Center. The taxi 
driver told cops that he pulled up to the hospital’s front 
doors and left the car running as he made a delivery to the 
blood bank.   

Pictured in the above mug shot, Orellana-Rivera allegedly 
swiped the car around 6:15 AM Friday, immediately after 
his discharge.

Shortly after the taxi’s owner reported the vehicle stolen, 
Des Moines Police Department cops used GPS data to locate 
the Ford Crown Victoria, which was parked less than a mile 
from the hospital.

Orellana-Rivera was arrested as he exited the vehicle, which 
was in a lot behind his former residence. A “friend/former 
roommate” told police that Orellana-Rivera “has been having 
mental issues lately due to drug usage,” and has been 
“delusional and paranoid.”

Orellana-Rivera, who had the cab’s keys in his pants pocket, 
told police that he opted to steal the car instead of walking 
home from the hospital. Orellana-Rivera, who spent about 
six hours at the medical center, was wearing a hospital 
bracelet and had a pulse oxygen device still attached to 
his finger when apprehended.

Orellana-Rivera was arrested for felony theft and jailed 
in the Polk County lockup (where he is being held in lieu 
of $5000 bond).
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Edith
Re: PDF form fillers
Dear Webby,
You mentioned Nitro PDF program a couple of weeks ago.
My sister told me to get PDF-Exchange from Tracker-software.
What is the difference?
Edith
Dear Edith
If you just want to fill an occasional form, then the Nitro
will be cheaper. They have a free Reader, that has limited 
"typing" abilities. For buying stuff or filling out your 
taxes, that's good enough.

PDF-Exchange has no free version that i can see, but they
have much better typing and editing abilities.
If you are writing e-books and want to do fancy formatting,
then you might want to check out the PDF-Exchange.

You would still write the e-books with Open Office or WORD,
and save them as PDF. However, since neither of those two
are that good for picking up a PDF file and edit it,
an editor like Nitro or PDF-Exchange are handy for quickly
fixing a typo instead of opening the word processor doc,
fixing the typo, and saving it as PDF again.

And of course, filling forms is much easier with a 
dedicated PDF program like those two.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

A dog thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me,
provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me,
and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods!

A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me,
provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me,
and take good care of me . . . I must be a God!

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use a Splatter Screen For Popcorn

Here is a tip to release the aroma of popcorn but protect it 
from anything entering. Simply use a splatter screen cover. 
Great for home, picnics, or parties!
By KIM HOGGAN [6]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger
noticed a sign saying:
DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!
posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old
hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between
the door and the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are
supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused.
"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to
me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that
sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their
teeth out on the counter."

___________________________________________________



GoPro: Backflip Over 72ft Canyon

____________________________________________________

I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby
pay phone. "I know it's something you want,"
he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are
a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing.
As long as you're living in my house, I think you
should respect my wishes."

I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly
firmness.

Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma,
you're 87 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo and a
nose ring!"

____________________________________________________

Noella's Blunders
It's not a cooking story, but here's one:

I have several friends who consider themselves to be very 
spiritual.� They advised that I should watch the sunrise
every morning — that it would be a very spiritual experience 
for me. It sounded good, so the next morning I got up early 
enough to catch it.

I was still lying in my bed when I looked out the window and 
saw the most beautiful yellow light ever. I gazed on that sun 
as it was rising in the sky and felt an awesome sense of peace. 
Then it slowly dawned on me that the sun wasn't rising.

I went to the window to check it out and found myself staring 
at the light pole across the street!

I had a really spiritual epihany when I saw the light.
It was time to clean the windows.

____________________________________________________






Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage





Today, October 27, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
 first Quakers to be executed in America. 
1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York 
 City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other 
 seven failed. 
1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed 
 of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George 
 "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence 
 to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 
1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was 
 the first rapid-transit subway system in America. 
1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 
1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in 
 New York. 
1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 
 26' 2 1/4". 
1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its 
 new synthetic yarn. 
1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring 
 Grouch Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on 
 NBC television. 
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. 
 They had been married on January 14, 1954. 
1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis 
 by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis 
 in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new 
 aspect of the agreement. 
1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime 
 Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the 
 Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving 
 a Middle East accord. 
1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the 
 U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for 
 the first time in American history. 
2002 Emmitt Smith (Dallas Cowboys) became the all-time 
 leading rusher in the NFL when he extended his career 
 yardage to 16,743. He achieved the record in his 193rd 
 game. He also scored his 150th career touchdown. 
2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of 
 Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected 
 leftist leader. 
2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy 
 FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second 
 largest banking company in the U.S.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 26

Thank you Shalla

Back in the saddle again.
Next injections are on January 8.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


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There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Drunk collegian, who  called 911, claimed she is "Olivia Pope" 
and then warned cop of car bomb heading for White House
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, 
 AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and 
 Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
In general, the art of government consists of taking 
as much money as possible from one party of the 
citizens to give to the other.
--- Voltaire (1764)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the unit 
that responded to a call from Coffee County late 
one night. They arrived on the scene and found 
a severely injured man lying at the edge of a 
field. His stomach had been completely torn 
open, and he was covered with lacerations and 
bruises. He also had a prominent tire tread 
across his chest.

The injured man's companion showed up in a 
racing model ATV vehicle, clearly intoxicated, 
and gave the following account.  Imagine this 
tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent.

He and his injured friend had been drinkin' 
and ridin' around the field on the three-wheeled 
ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer 
in their headlights. The friend, riding the 
back as a passenger,was struck with a great 
idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter off 
one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The 
driver thought this was an entertaining idea, so 
he proceeded to isolate a buck and race him 
down.

His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap 
from the ATV, grab the buck by the antlers, 
and perform an excellent example of this
rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to 
the ground, but that's when things went 
wrong. The buck, less docile than a steer, 
simply got up, threw his head back, and 
tore his assailant's belly open. The deer 
then proceeded to stomp, kick, and butt 
him for good measure.

The EMTs noticed that this information 
accounted all of the injuries except one. 
When they asked the driver about the 
tire track across his injured friend's chest, 
he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed 
to git the deer off 'im?"

______________________________________________________

The closest to perfection anyone ever comes
is when he or she fills out a job application
form.
______________________________________________________

Thanks to Jim Hetrick for this picture:


A picture of the "fall leaves in Ohio."  
Enjoy and again thanks for all.

______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Kelsey Cousins, 
20,

Iowa


Drunk collegian calls 911, says she is "Olivia Pope" 
and then warns cop of car bomb heading for White House

An Iowa collegian who is apparently a big fan of booze and 
TV’s “Scandal” called 911 early this morning claiming to be 
“Olivia Pope,” and reported a sighting of “Cyrus Beene” 
outside an Iowa City bar, police say.

Cops responding to the 2:45 AM emergency call were flagged 
down by Kelsey Cousins, a 20-year-old University of Iowa 
student who is a member of the school’s rowing team.

Officer Brad Reinhard reported that Cousins, seen above, 
“kept talking about ‘Olivia Pope’ and about a car with a 
bomb in it that was heading to the White House.” The cop 
added that, “‘Olivia Pope’ is a television show character 
and everything that defendant stated was nonsensical and 
rambling.”

Actress Kerry Washington stars in “Scandal” as Pope, a 
Beltway fixer and presidential mistress. The “Cyrus Beene” 
character, played by Jeff Perry, is a scheming manipulator 
who was fired from his post as White House chief of staff.

The underage Cousins, according to a police report, smelled 
of alcohol, suffered from impaired speech and balance, and 
had bloodshot, watery eyes. She reportedly copped to 
drinking and possessing a fake ID.      

Following her arrest for public intoxication, Cousins, seen 
above, took a Breathalyzer test that registered her blood 
alcohol content at .206, more than twice the legal limit. 
She is also facing a second misdemeanor charge for misuse 
of the 911 system.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Samantha
Re: Clear Cache
Dear Webby,
Every time I have a problem getting to certain sites, that
are up and working, because friends tell me they have no
problem getting to them, the ISP's tech support tells me
to clear the browser cache. When I was still using IE, 
I used to know how to do that, not that it ever made any
difference, but I knew how to do that. Now, with Chrome
I have no clue about how to clear the cache.

Second question: Is there a way I can tell whether they are
just full of BS and are just giving me the run-around while 
they go ask mom how to fix the fluck-up at the station?
Samantha
Dear Samantha
On Chrome,click the three horizontal bars at the right top.
That opens the menu. In there click HISTORY.
In History, click CLEAR BROWSING DATA
In the next panel click EMPTY CACHE

You could set the time interval to Beginning of time, but
that is silly, since if tehre had been a cache problem,
it would be with a recently cached site.

Re 2: yes, they are usually full of BS if they tell you
to clear the cache.

The easiest way to prove that is to bypass the browser and 
use tracert.

Click on Start
type cmd  and hit enter.
Let's assume you are trying to get to webby.com/humor
On the scary black screen that opens, type
tracert webby.com
and hit Enter.
Don't type any part after the actual domain name.
After a few seconds you will see the route information 
appearing one line after another.
Just getting to your ISP is usually the slowest.
Eventually, the trace will wind up at the target domain.

If you get there without any potholes (stars), then
the route is clear.

However, if there are potholes, or roadblocks (3 stars),
then the route is obstructed, and the problem is NOT in
your browser's cache, since you didn't even use your browser.

To copy the trace route is a bit tricky, since it is in 
DOS format, unchanged from the 80's.
Right-click on the top frame bar, select EDIT, 
and in there select MARK
Then use the mouse to highlight the trace route, 
and hit ENTER

Then you can go to your email and with CTRL V paste the
trace route.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking
out children's books by writing the names of
borrowers on the book cards herself, she would
have the youngsters sign their own names. She
would then tell them they were signing a
"Contract" for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a second grader, who looked
surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four
books to the desk and shoved them across to the
Librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The Librarian pushed the books back and told him
to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his
name on each book card and then handed them to her
with a look of utter disgust.

Before the Librarian could even start her speech
he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had
knew how to write herself!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Paperclip as Collar Stay

My son has to wear dress shirts to work and I launder them 
myself. He loses those little plastic collar stays all the 
time. He discovered a paperclip works like a charm! It's not 
quite as long but just as effective and easier to remove 
before washing. If this tip wins, I promise to give him the 
prize. He's saving for grad school.
Source: My son's brilliant mind and necessity
By Beth Pierpont H. [1]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to
open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had
been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember
it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked
for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the
dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared
blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely
heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he
looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the
final number, and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith,
pastor," she said.
"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a
piece of tape on the ceiling."

___________________________________________________



when neighbors 
complained about noise, this is what they found

____________________________________________________

Billy Bob and Bubba fly to Alaska for a fishing trip.
They hire a bush pilot and rent a boat, rods, and
tackle. After two weeks they have caught only one
salmon.

''MAN Bubba," Billy Bob says, "Do you realize this
lousy fish cost us about $15000 apiece."

'Wow," Bubba replies, 'At that rate it's a good thing
we only caught one of them!"

____________________________________________________






Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage





Today, October 22, in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile 
 canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of 
 $7,602,000. 
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, 
 AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and 
 Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz 
 during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The 
 battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the 
 Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 
 40 to 75 cents an hour. 
1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain. 
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner 
 from New York City to Paris. 
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis 
 by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to 
 not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey. 
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 
 years on the Peacock Throne. 
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, 
 "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 
1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially 
 visit to the United States. 
1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed 
 at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by 
 Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 
1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head 
 of state to visit Egypt. 
1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born 
 with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the 
 animal heart. 
1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet 
 embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their 
 arms race. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it 
 was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is 
 used to induce abortions. The French government made the company 
 reverse itself two days later. 
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The 
 whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack. 
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 
1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal 
 correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a 
 six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 
1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the 
 company recorded its highest losses in history. 
1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was 
 designed to unify the country. 
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding 
 the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central 
 figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel 
 Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 
1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York Islanders in his 
 605th game. He became the second-fastest player to attain the plateau. 
 Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his 575th NHL game. 
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense 
 contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the 
 "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history. 
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist 
 rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 
 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my 
eyeballs. That means no Saturday, Sunday and Monday
newsletters will be sent out. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
SC teen arrested after his rape victim
bit off his tongue.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote 
 with a march in New York City, NY. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
--- Bruce Grocott (1940 - )

"The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have
enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or
not."
--- George Bernard Shaw
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Customer: "I'd like an under the mouse mat, please."

Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large
variety, $1.95 each."

Customer: "But will they be compatible with my
computer?"
Salesperson: "Hmmm, have you got one of those
new Intels ?"

Customer: "Yes, it says Intel inside, it's a 17"."

Salesperson: "Then you better get one of these
$29.95 mousepads"

Customer: "But, is it Y2K approved ?"

Salesperson: "Well,...to be on the safe side, maybe
you should better get one of these bue ones for
$49.95."

______________________________________________________

Bulletin Board Bloopers:
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to
make calls on people who are not afflicted with any
church.
---------------------------
The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
---------------------------
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the
delight of the audience.
---------------------------
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing
services will be discontinued until further notice.
---------------------------
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great
success. Special thanks are due to the minister's
daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano,
which as usual fell upon her.

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Antoine Tremane Miller, 
16
North Charleston,
South Carolina


SC teen arrested after his rape victim
bit off his tongue

-As she fought off a sexual assault from an intruder, a 
South Carolina woman bit off her 16-year-old attacker’s tongue, 
according to a police report detailing the harrowing home 
invasion.

The 33-year-old victim told South Charleston cops that the 
knife-wielding teen forced his way into her residence early 
Friday morning. While grappling with the attacker, the 
victim was knocked to the floor and punched several times. 
She told investigators that the assailant declared, 
“Stop fighting and I won't hurt you.”

The intruder then carried the woman to a bedroom and 
attempted to remove her shorts, police say. But the victim 
fought back and kicked the teen in the groin, which 
incensed him. "Now you have to die!" the assailant said, 
according to the report.

As the attacker forcibly “shoved his tongue down in her 
mouth,” the woman “bit...as hard as she could until she 
heard it snap,” cops noted. The screaming assailant then 
fled the bedroom, recalled the victim, who told police 
that when she got off the bed, “the suspect’s tongue was 
still in her mouth and she threw it on the kitchen floor.”

Upon arriving at the woman’s residence, police discovered 
blood in the bedroom, as well as the severed tongue (which 
was placed into a bag of ice). Cops also found a knife in 
the home’s yard. The victim, investigators noted, had a 
bruise around her right eye with swelling and scratches 
on her knee and foot.

Shortly after the attack, the teenager was located at a 
nearby Waffle House. Cops were dispatched to the restaurant 
after the suspect’s mother called 911 to report her son 
“not having a tongue and needing medical assistance.”

Police have identified the attacker as Antoine Tremane 
Miller, a North Charleston resident. The teenager, who 
has been charged as an adult, is jailed without bond on 
felony counts of criminal sexual conduct, assault, 
burglary, and weapons possession.

Miller, seen in the above mug shot, was treated at a 
North Charleston hospital, but a police spokesperson 
declined to say whether the teen’s tongue--which 
police transported to the hospital--was reattached.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Walter
Re: Unresponsive Script on W8
Hi Dear Webby,
I appreciate your looking into whether you can find a cure 
for the bothersome "Unresponsive Script" window popping up 
continually on my 8.1 laptop.

I gave the computer to the Geek Squad for a possible solution, 
If they find one I'll let you know.

Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
Dear Walter
I found this:

A file called IEFrame.dll has registration problems. Every 
DLL file is registered in the system registry. The problem 
arises when IEFrame.dll file registration entries gets 
corrupted. 
In this case there is a manual way to resolve this issue. 
Unregister and reregister the file again as shown here:

1. Click the Start button.
2. Point to All Programs | Accessories.
3. Right click Command Prompt.
4. Select "Run as administrator".
5. Execute below commands-
regsvr32 actxprxy.dll
regsvr32 oleaut32.dll
regsvr32 ole32.dll
Regsvr32. Ieframe.dll
6. When you're done, type EXIT and press ENTER.

If this does not fix your problem, the best way would be to 
use Quick-Fix Patch.
It scans the whole system for problems related to DLL 
registration, missing file, and so on. It would take a minute 
or two to repair it automatically. 

UNinstalling IE would probably also take care of the problem.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

>From Joan in Minnesota.
The Canadian Geese are back, a big event there.
Next come the Winnebagos.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Stuffed Peppers

An easy fall dish that's healthy and delicious!
Approximate Time: 90 minutes
Yield: 2-3 servings, 6 pepper halves
Ingredients:
3 bell peppers
1/2 cup brown rice
1 small onion, diced
1 cup crushed tomatoes
12 oz extra lean ground beef (I used 95%)
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 Tbsp garlic salt
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese

Steps:
Slice the peppers in half length wise and scoop out seeds 
and pith. Rinse and set in a baking dish, cut side up.
Saute' garlic and onion in olive oil for 5 minutes or until 
softened. Add in ground beef and cook until brown.
Cook rice as directed. Add in tomatoes, garlic salt, and 
ground beef mixture in last 5 minutes of cooking.
Bake peppers alone for 15 minutes at 350 F. Then spoon 
stuffing mixture evenly over peppers, returning to oven to 
bake for 30 minutes at 400 F.
Add mozzarella cheese evenly over peppers. Broil for 5 minutes 
or until browned.
Serve up with tomato sauce if desired.
Link: www.triingforbalance.blogspot.com
By Rae [1]

That takes less skill but quite a bit more work than 
regular, old-fashioned stuffed peppers. 

For those, hollow out the peppers, and 
for the beef use regular ground beef. It is cheaper and
has much more flavor.

Murdering onions by just softening them would get you
yelled at in my kitchen. Sautee them properly until they 
are hazelnut brown! Gently stir them while you do that,
so that they don't get black edges. NO email-checking
during the sauteeing!

For the rice, DO NOT cook it as directed! 
That produces a silly mush after baking. If you nuke 
the rice, deduct a minute, and don't let it steep covered 
like you would if you use it as a side dish!

Mix the rice and the rest of the ingredients except cheese
and stuff it into the hollowed out peppers.
That is why they are called stuffed peppers.

when full, add the cheese and cap it with the original
top after carving off the seed pith.
Add a cup of slightly watered down pasta sauce, 
about 3/4 to 1 inch high in the casserole or crock pot.
I drain the "spiced, crushed tomatoes" a bit and use that
liquid to thin down the pasta sauce.
Bake in the oven in a casserole at 350 for 25 minutes 
or in a crock pot for a few hours. 

THEN you get proper, old-fashioned STUFFED Peppers,
that taste just like your gramma's stuffed peppers did.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A number of children from the neighborhood were
invited to Mrs. Johnson's for dinner. She decided to do
something different while serving the meal.

"Where are you originally from?" she asked one child.
"California," said the boy.
"Well then, I will give you the left wing."
She turned to another boy and asked, "Where are
YOU from?"
"New York," he answered.
And she said, "You get the right wing."
She turned to the third boy and asked, "Where are
you from?"

He said, "I'm from New Orleans and I ain't hungry!"

___________________________________________________



when neighbors 
complained about noise, this is what they found

____________________________________________________

Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda
notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her,
"Is something bugging you? You look anxious."

"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and
life savings in the stock market," Jill explained.

"Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure
you're feeling sorry for him."

"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."

____________________________________________________






There’s an annual Straw Art 
Festival in Japan and it looks awesome!





Today, October 22, in
1910 - Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a 
 public solo airplane flight in the United States. 
1915 - Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to 
 vote with a march in New York City, NY. 
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 
 starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 
1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive 
 against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 
1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet 
 occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary 
 and eventually suppress the uprising. 
1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the 
 Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor 
 due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for 
 writing "Dr. Zhivago". 
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine" 
 of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of 
 American States (OAS). 
1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began 
 overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat 
 Communist China. 
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the 
 subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 
1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility 
 when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 
1980 The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin 
 was announced. 
1984 "NBC Nightly News" aired footage of the severe drought 
 in Ethiopia. 
1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of 
 Soviet rule. 
1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor 
 to stand on Chinese soil. 
1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill 
 Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn Bosnia. 
1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian 
 Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace 
 West Bank accord. 
1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 
2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010, 
 it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida couple arrested after they left 
name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute 
 jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and 
suspicious of men who try to.
--- H. Mumford Jones (1892 - 1980) 
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

>From Jean
Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes 
of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"

The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."

The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. 
I had five."

The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as 
last time."

The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 
riders today."

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who 
had heard the old guys talking about their game went to 
the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time 
and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but 
what's a rider?"

The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough 
to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."

______________________________________________________

Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an
expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed
Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the
Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied
that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer
again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..."

______________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Megan Ohara, 24
David Ziskowski, 19
Palm Beach,
Florida


Florida couple arrested after they left 
name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery

Authorities say a man and woman left the woman's name and 
telephone number in the guestbook of a South Florida art 
gallery before stealing about $6,000 worth of jewelry.

Palm Beach police say 24-year-old Megan Ohara and 19-year-old 
David Ziskowski took a bracelet and a ring Sunday from the 
Attila JK exhibition at the ICFA Gallery. They were spotted 
a short time later at a nearby grocery, and police reported 
finding the jewelry in the woman's purse.

Officers found multiple fake email addresses and at least 
one obscene drawing in the gallery's guestbook. The South 
Florida Sun Sentinel (http://goo.gl/UEPiqq ) reports that 
two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one 
included Ohara's phone number.

Ohara and Ziskowski were arrested and charged with grand 
theft. 
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Walter
Re: Unresponsive Script on W8
Hi Dear Webby,
I once again seek the help of the western hemisphere's 
preeminent cyber guru.

Quite frequently on my 8.1 Windows laptop, Firefox browser, 
a window comes up, saying "Warning: Unresponsive Script." 
The screen then freezes and to correct this problem I have 
to reboot.

Have you an answer on how to prevent this from happening?

Be well, live long, and prosper,
Walter
Dear Walter
"Just a routine Windows 8 F...up".

Hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to open the Taskmanager
sort by Memory
locate and highlight FireFox
Hit END PROCESS in the right bottom corner.
It will close FireFox and unlock W8.

Chrome seems to be able to deal with that 
problem more intelligently and lets you stop
and restart unresponsive scripts.

Unfortunately, that only gets you over a symptom of the
problem, and does not cure it. I will look for a possible
cure.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

An old farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and 
asked for the price of their toilet paper. The company 
wrote back telling him to look on page #346 of their 
catalog. 

He wrote another letter to the company that said: 
"If you had not stopped sending me catalogs, I would not 
need any toilet paper."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Your Pumpkin from Spoiling

It is Jack-o-Lantern time! I always wait until the last 
minute to carve my pumpkin because it seems like it starts 
to rot the next day. I saw a special on TV where they 
immerse the cut pumpkin in a solution of water and bleach. 
You keep it in for a while and make sure it gets submerged 
and every cut surface is treated. Let it drain for a while. 
Just make sure you wear old clothes and use plastic gloves. 
I think Rubbermaid would be the best. I don't know the 
percentage of bleach to water, or how long to keep in the 
liquid. Before I have tried using salt and water or vinegar 
but the pumps didn't last any longer.
Source: TV special Extreme Hallowe'en I think it was
By Nightsong [37]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was
sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to
pray?"

One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to
pray."

"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us
put on our life jackets - we're one short."

___________________________________________________



July 31, 2015
moonrise over Cape Byron Lighthouse, on Belongil Beach, Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia. The head land and lighthouse at Byron Bay is the most easterly point of the Australian Mainland and therefor is the first place in Australia to watch the full moon rise. This video is made up of 1038 frames and slowed down to as close to real time as possible. 

____________________________________________________

When I consider how sweaters tend to make me
sweat, I'm a lot less inclined to wear my windbreaker.

____________________________________________________






Body paint for Halloween





Today, October 22, in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It 
 later became known as Princeton University. 
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute 
 jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally 
 elected president of the Republic of Texas. 
1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" 
 among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to 
 come to an end according to the followers of William Miller. 
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment 
 with a high-resistance carbon filament. 
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing 
 money from many New York banks. 
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to 
 inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces 
 to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the 
 discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island. 
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft 
 had orbited the Earth 163 times. 
1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was discharged 
 after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His tombstone reads 
 "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the military they gave 
 me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." 
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed 
 into the U.S. for medical treatment. 
1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was 
 decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous August. 
1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade Association 
 agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by the year 1993. 
1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which it 
 defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to 
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in July. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications downloaded. 
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for the 
 longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been continously 
 inhabited since November 2, 2000. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police 
her name is 'Hell On Wheels'
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
 per minute on a manual typewriter.  
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing 
on the shore like an idiot.
--- Steven Wright (1955 - )

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up,
but a comedy in long-shot."
--- Charlie Chaplin

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering 
questions that no one has asked them.
--- Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910) 
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A  salesman from New York traveling in Kansas left his
snazzy rental car out in a hail storm. When the storm
was over he checked the car and found out it was
covered with small dents. He went to the local garage
and inquired how he could  fix the problem himself.

The mechanic told him to blow on the tailpipe and the
dents would pop out again.

He took the car to the motel where he was staying,
parked it and proceeded to blow on the tailpipe.

A local  came by and inquired what he was doing.
He explained that he was blowing on the tailpipe to
remove the dents.

The local  responded,
"That's not gonna to work, not unless you roll up the
windows real tight first."

______________________________________________________

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the
teacher singled him out.
"If I gave you $200," the teacher began, "and you gave
$50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would
you have?"

"Well, it sure would be no orgy!" Johnny  answered,
"Helen, my girlfriend, would bust my skull for that!"

______________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Amanda Dolores Alleman
38,
CLARKSBURG, 
Wesrt Virginia


Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police 
her name is 'Hell On Wheels'

Police say a woman accused of drunken driving and hitting 
six vehicles initially identified herself to an officer 
as "Hell on Wheels."

The Exponent Telegram (http://bit.ly/1KdL6cI ) reports 
38-year-old Amanda Dolores Alleman of Clarksburg was 
arrested Friday on numerous charges. Among them are 
aggravated driving while under the influence, striking 
an unattended vehicle and having no insurance.

Police say Alleman had a blood-alcohol content of 0.20 
percent when she struck six parked vehicles on two 
different streets.

Alleman was being held at the North Central Regional Jail 
on $14,000 bond. 
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Bonnie
Re: Desktop restore
Dear Webby
For that poor lady whose desktop icons all got scrambled - 
we only have a couple dozen so what I did was do a "print 
screen" of the desktop & saved it in an e-mail draft.  
Now when they go haywire I just use that to reassemble 
them.  Sounds a lot easier, hope you will print my idea.
Bonnie in Candia
Dear Bonnie
You are an exception! Most people have a LOT of icons on their
desktop. 

If somebody finds the half minute installation of Desktop OK 
too much hassle, there ARE ways to reduce the number of icons.

Make some desktop folders, for example Tools, Music, Recipes
and so on. Then drag all related icons into those folders.
That will reduce the number of loose icons very quickly.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends,
a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and shovel for?"
one of his friends asked.

"That is the talking clock", the man replied.

"How's it work?" the friend asked.

"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong
an ear shattering whack with the shovel.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the
wall: "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two fourty five 
in the morning!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda Deodorant

I have been keeping a bowl and mixing hydrogen peroxide 
and baking soda and using it as deodorant. I have never 
been fresher. Mix a small amount into a paste. I buy the 
value size on both at Sam's Club. I am at seven months 
and might get a year out if it. I used to use a deodorant 
costing 5.99 every two weeks.
By Stevebasso [1]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
 
Son: "Bobby just borrowed it. He wants to scare his 
parents."

___________________________________________________



What does 
Google look like

____________________________________________________

 had been misbehaving and was sent to bed.
After a while  emerged and informed mother
that  had thought it over and then said a
prayer.

"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to
help you about your misbehaving, He will help you."

"Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said
. "I asked Him to help me not to get
caught quite so much."

____________________________________________________






A massive bridge 
building machine. Those are some brave men that work around that machine.





Today, October 21, in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, 
 was launched in Boston's harbor. 
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. 
 The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. 
 It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during WWI 
 near Nancy, France. 
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
 per minute on a manual typewriter. 
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the 
 Electric Show in New York City, NY. 
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined 
 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 
1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was 
 captured by U.S. troops. 
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 
1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York. 
 The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in 
 opposition to the Vietnam War. 
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to 
 Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 
1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action 
 was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American diplomats. 
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released 
 after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North 
 Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial 
 birth abortions. 
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer 
 of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist 
 nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 20


Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida couple, who prolonged police standoff to have sex
'one last time'.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and 
 Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor 
 Charles VI. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

You can pretend to be serious; 
you can't pretend to be witty.
--- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957) 

Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic,
but one of them is paranoid
and the other one is out to get her.
--- Hillary

"Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking
at girls and persuade themselves they have a better
idea."
--- John Ciardi

"Modern Art" ? Isn't that an oxymoron like "Dry Water", 
which, according to people in the military is like 
"Military Intelligence" ?

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty
scarce."
--- Mark Twain

______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"

Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use
the Internet for research and it's been very helpful."
Mother: "Really?"

Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell
history papers on that topic!"

______________________________________________________

A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make
sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in
her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she
accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter
walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced,
knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to
the waiter and demands "Stop That!"

The waiter looks at her dryly and says
"Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"

______________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, 
Leanne Hunn, 30, ,
Jacksonville,
Florida


Couple Prolongs Police Standoff To Have Sex 
'One Last Time'

Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, allegedly 
refused to surrender to police until they could have sex 
together one last time.

A standoff began Wednesday night when Jacksonville Sheriffs 
responded to a call about Michael Forte, 34, who was wanted 
on several warrants including armed burglary, 
FirstCoastNews.com reports.

A Jacksonville Sheriffs Office spokeswoman said deputies 
were also looking for Bautista, who also had several 
warrants, including armed burglary.

Bautista and Hunn reacted to the police visit by 
barricading themselves inside a mobile home and refusing 
to leave for more than six hours, according to 
News4Jax.com.

Three other adults were inside the home at the time police 
arrived, but one woman was allowed to leave a short time 
later.

Police said Hunn and Bautista detained another woman by 
dragging her to a back bedroom where she was held down, 
according to the website.

That woman was eventually allowed to leave, but Hunn and 
Bautista refused to exit the mobile home. Hostage 
negotiators were called to the scene and attempted to 
communicate with the couple via phone and bullhorns, 
according to Jacksonville.com.

At some point during the standoff, Hunn told police she 
would give herself up but not until she had sex with 
Bautista “one last time,” according to the website.

Hunn never did come out on her own. Eventually, officers 
broke into the mobile home and arrested the couple.

Bautista and Hunn were arrested and charged with resisting 
police and false imprisonment, according to CBS News. They 
are currently in the Duval County Jail.

The couple apparently had an audience for their "last time" 
lovemaking session.

Turns out Forte, the subject of the original phone tip, was 
also in the mobile home.

Forte was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon 
by a convicted felon, armed robbery, and murder, according 
to Inside Edition.

Forte is currently being held in the Duval County jail on 
charges of murder, armed robbery with a firearm or other 
deadly weapon and possession of a weapon by a felon, 
according to jail records.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Annalisa
Re: Desktop messed up
Dear Webby
Windoze has done it AGAIN. Totally screwed up my perfectly
organized desktop and just moved all icons in one disorganized 
pile on the left side, while I was not even near the computer.
When I saw that, this prim and proper lady used some VERY foul 
language!

What have you got to keep me from cussing like that?

Annalisa
Dear Annalisa
I got an add-on that installed itself into the right-click
menu for saving or restoring the desktop. Unfortunately, I
got that probably half a dozen years ago and have long 
forgotten where I got it from. 
Try right-clicking the desktop and see if you have that 
add-on.

In case you don't have that, I searched for an alternative.
I tested it, and it is clean and works well. 
Go to Desktop OK and
Download the program at Desktop OK Program

You have to unzip it and then run it.

Don't get flustered by the many options in it! Just look
at the Auto-Save, tell it to save 32 back-ups, and to
save when Windows shuts down.
Saving every 15 minutes is available, but in my opinion
not a good idea. That could possibly save right after 
Windows messes up your desktop.

If you have time and inclination, you can play with the
ton of options in there, but it works fine as is.

If it looks like it disappeared, click the double upwards 
arrows in the right bottom, beside the W10 nagger. That
shows you programs, that are running in the background.
One of them is a white mini desktop with some colored
dots in it. That's Desktop OK. 

If you want to restore the desktop, you can select which 
saved version you want.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he
arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a
sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office
was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said,
"If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening,
you can hear me telling everyone how to get to
Heaven."

"Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to
the post office."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Shower Curtain Rings as Hangers

Each time you buy a new shower curtain it comes with a new 
set of curtain rings which are not always needed. You can 
use these in your wardrobe to save space by hooking them 
onto a clothes hanger.
You can then hang vests, ties belts and scarves from the 
rings
By ShirleyE [26]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat,
leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid
asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?"

The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects
me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put
it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it
protects me then, too."

"Why do you wear that leather vest?"
"It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has
pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches."

"Well, why do you wear leather chaps?"
"They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through
rough bushes."
"Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked,
"Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?"

"That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver."

___________________________________________________



refueling in air

____________________________________________________

This one is a classic, but good enough to see again:

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his
employees about an urgent problem with one of the
computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number
and was greeted with a child's whispered,
"Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk
to a youngster the boss asked,
"Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise
of the boss, the small voice whispered,

"No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes",
"May I talk with her?" 

Again the small voice whispered, "No".

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child
would be left home alone, the boss decided he would
just leave a message with the person who should be
there watching over the child.

"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked
the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's
home, the boss asked
"May I speak with the policeman"?

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?, asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the
whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what
sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the
phone the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now
alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered,

"The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!"

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little
frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"?

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a
muffled giggle: 
"They're looking for me."

____________________________________________________






Large-scale land art by 
Stan Herd, known as the "Father of Crop Art."





Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and 
 Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor 
 Charles VI. 
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of America’s 
 colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the 
 colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and 
 all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays 
 and other expensive diversions and entertainment." 
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between 
 the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for 
 Independence. 
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus 
 T. (P.T.) Barnum. 
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a 
' dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of 
 Alaska. 
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series 
 game for the first time. 
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that 
 took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist 
 Headquarters. 
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve 
 in Germany. 
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 
1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and 
 Dubrovnik were liberated. 
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American 
 Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist 
 influence within the motion picture industry. 
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. 
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 
1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated. 
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit 
 the violence in their programs. 
1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. 
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned 
 atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety 
 devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing 
 a stunt. 
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Knife-wielding punk, who burst into library to 
kill kids. A 75-year-old army vet took him down.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 19, in
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to 
 U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It 
 was to be the last major battle of the American 
 Revolutionary War. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Television has proved that people will look at anything 
rather than each other.
--- Ann Landers (1918 - 2002)

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.
--- Ovid (43 BC - 17 AD)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher
knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if
anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his
dad told him that he needed to go to church.

The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if
his dad had explained to him why it was more important to
go to church than to go fishing.

The boy replied: "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have
enough bait for both of us."

______________________________________________________

A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in
the  women's locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into  shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Ross for this picture:


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
AND a Darwin Award has been earned by


Dustin Brown,
19,
Morton,
Illinois


Knife-wielding punk bursts into library to 
kill kids. A 75-year-old army vet took him down.

James Vernon, a 75-year-old veteran, took matters into his 
own hands when he found himself face-to-face with a man who 
was determined to shed some blood.

Vernon and 16 parents and children were in a conference room 
at the Morton Public Library Tuesday when Dustin Brown, 19, 
entered and declared he was going to kill some people, 
according to the Pekin (Illinois) Daily Times.



Brown had more than one knife and Vernon knew he had to do 
something fast to prevent a tragedy from happening.
The elderly vet stepped in between Brown and the others, 
giving them a cue to leave the room.

Vernon then relied on his knife training from 50 years ago 
to help him handle Brown.

“He actually ran into the room yelling, ‘I’m going to kill 
some people!’ Vernon said.

Vernon said the knives Brown had looked like hunting knives 
with fixed blades about five inches long.

“I tried to talk to him. I tried to settle him down,” Vernon 
said. “I asked him if he was from Morton, did he go to high 
school. I asked what his problem was. He said his life sucks. 
That’s a quote.”

While talking to Brown, Vernon noticed he was right-handed 
and expected he would strike with that hand first. Vernon 
knew to block with his left hand.

Vernon was successful in stopping Brown from killing anyone 
but he didn’t walk away without an injury. Brown slashed two 
arteries and a tendon on Vernon’s left hand as he blocked 
Brown’s knife.

Despite the injury, Vernon took down and subdued Brown until 
the police arrived.

Brown was held on $800,000 bond on charges of attempted murder, 
armed violence, aggravated battery to a person over 60 and 
burglary. 

Brown had been free on bond facing child pornography charges.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Leona
Re: How do I organize Chrome bookmarks?
Dear Webby
I want to organize my Chrome Bookmarks, and save them to
a camera chip. How do I do that?
Leona
Dear Leona
In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the 
Chrome menu (The three horizontal bars).
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
Browse to the folder where you want to alphabetize your 
bookmarks.
Above your bookmarks, click Organize.
Click Reorder by Title. Now when you open the Chrome menu 
and click Bookmarks, you’ll see your bookmarks listed in 
alphabetical order.

To create a bookmark folder

In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the 
Chrome menu.
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
On the left side of the page, click the Folders drop-down arrow.
Click Add Folder, then name your folder.
Drag any bookmarks into your folder. 
Shift-click to pick more than one item.

To Export bookmarks, open the Bookmarks manager as above.
Select a folder on the left
Clik on Organize on top
At the bottom of that you see: Export bookmarks.

That exports the selected folder, for example your Prayers
folder, but not your hubby's warm-up bookmarks folder.

Just export the folders you want, and ignore the rest.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

"A fossil is an extinct animal.
The older it is, the more it stinkts."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Bacon in One Piece

I don't know how many times I've tried different ways to 
get one piece of bacon out of the package and into the pan 
flat, not ripped not torn but flat. Work a fork under one 
side or the other of the bottom piece of bacon in the 
package, you then begin to roll the fork into the direction 
of the other end of the piece of bacon. Effectively, you 
are rolling up a piece of bacon onto the fork. When you put 
it in the pan, you place edge side down. Unroll it into the
pan off the fork.
By Deborah S. [12]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was
asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it
to do over again.
"Sure," she replied, "but definitely not the same
ones."
___________________________________________________



KFC Star Trek

____________________________________________________

Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to
discuss their home lives, one said,
"Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've
been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds."

"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.

"Oh, No! I can't." the first replied, "I need to lose
at least another fifteen pounds first."
____________________________________________________






What a marvelous idea.  
A preschool housed inside a retirement home.





Today, October 19, in
1765 In the U.S., The Stamp Act Congress met and drew up a 
 declaration of rights and liberties. 
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to 
 U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It 
 was to be the last major battle of the American 
 Revolutionary War. 
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their return 
 out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating 
 Russian army. 
1914 In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used 
 to pick up mail in Washington, DC. 
1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the 
 president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts 
 of Mexico except where Carranza was in control. 
1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by 
 the Berlin Organization Committee. 
1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed 
 into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES). 
1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital 
 of Pyongyang. 
1951 U.S. President Truman signed an act officially ending the 
 state of war with Germany. 
1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba 
 covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain 
 food products. 
1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam 
 War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." 
1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City. 
1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional amendment 
 that barred the desecration of the American flag. 
1993 Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of Pakistan. 
1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing license 
 back after he had lost it for biting Evander Holyfield's ear 
 during a fight. 
2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear 
 plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks of 
 the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days. Blaine 
 had entered the box on September 5. 
2009 The international version of Amazon's Kindle 2 was released. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Armed robber in Charleston Waffle House,
who was shot and killed by a customer.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 18, in
1469 - Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. 
 The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

The great god Ra whose shrine once covered acres 
Is filler now for crossword-puzzle makers.
--- Keith Preston 

All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
--- Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870) 

"Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can'tbe done and why.
Then do it."
--- Robert Heinlein (1907-1988)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?

STUDENT: Seven.

TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?

STUDENT: Nine.

TEACHER: That's impossible.

STUDENT: No, it ain't, Teacher. I'm eight today.

______________________________________________________

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
AND a Darwin Award has been earned by


Joshua Jermaine Davis,
19
Charleston, 
S.C.


Armed robber in Charleston Waffle House
was shot and killed.

A customer at a Waffle House in Charleston, S.C. opened 
fire on a would-be robber and killed him early Saturday 
morning —and will not be charged for the shooting, 
police said.

“No one was hurt, which is the best part,” Waffle House 
division manager Brandon Rogers told the Post and Courier.
“No one was injured — besides the robber.”

A Waffle House employee told the paper: “He saved us.”

The robber, 19-year-old Joshua Jermaine Davis, entered the 
restaurant shortly after 5 a.m., police said. By the time 
officers arrived, he had been shot. He died later in 
hospital, WCSC reported.

Davis' Facebook page has several pictures of him posing with 
a handgun. Four days before the shooting, he posted a picture 
of what appears to be a police car and wrote, "We see Ya n----."

The unidentified man who shot Davis had a permit to carry his 
pistol, police said.

As the Waffle House manager noted, no one was injured in the 
shooting except Davis. The restaurant manager said Davis did 
not get away with anything, and the restaurant saw only minor 
damage from broken glass.

The store was open as usual on Sunday, with an employee telling 
the Daily News the staff is moving on “as best we can.”
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Leona
Re: How do I organize Chrome bookmarks?
Dear Webby
I want to organize my Chrome Bookmarks, and save them to
a camera chip. How do I do that?
Leona
Dear Leona
In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the 
Chrome menu (The three horizontal bars).
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
Browse to the folder where you want to alphabetize your 
bookmarks.
Above your bookmarks, click Organize.
Click Reorder by Title. Now when you open the Chrome menu 
and click Bookmarks, you’ll see your bookmarks listed in 
alphabetical order.

To create a bookmark folder

In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the 
Chrome menu.
Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager.
On the left side of the page, click the Folders drop-down arrow.
Click Add Folder, then name your folder.
Drag any bookmarks into your folder. 
Shift-click to pick more than one item.

To Export bookmarks, open the Bookmarks manager as above.
Select a folder on the left
Clik on Organize on top
At the bottom of that you see: Export bookmarks.

That exports the selected folder, for example your Prayers
folder, but not your hubby's warm-up bookmarks folder.

Just export the folders you want, and ignore the rest.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

A mother was telling her little girl what her own
childhood was like.
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made
from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last
she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Organizing your Web Page Favorites

I recently lost my laptop to a virus (be careful clicking 
on those cute videos) and it was more costly to recover 
than to purchase a new one. Fortunately, they were able 
to save my data. I had a bad habit of saving to "favorites" 
without catergorizing. Then when I wanted an article, I had 
to search the whole list to find it.
When I set up my new computer, I made folders in "favorites". 
When I save items I want to review later, I put them 
immediately in their proper folder such as; crafts, crochet 
projects, recipes, menus, etc. No need to search the whole 
list now, just go to the particular folder you want. It is 
so much easier to use, faster and keeps things where you 
can find them.
By HerkDia [32]

I hope she learned her lesson and got McAfee
and MalwareeBytes for the new machine.
They would have been able to prevent the infection, and save
the cost of a new machine. I am amzed at how many people 
rely on the Easter Bunny or good luck to shield them from
malware.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender
(with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the
houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and gimme the
bill."

So the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill
for $57.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times, then
throws him out into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and
once again says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy
everyone in the houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and
gimme the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself
that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same
trick twice. So he gives him the benefit of the doubt,
pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink
himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up,
beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him
out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar
and says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone
in the houshe a drink, gimme the bill."

In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me
this time?"
The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent
when you drink."
___________________________________________________



Young girl on Vietnamese stringed instrument

____________________________________________________

A little dwarf lady goes into her doctor's office
complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination
the doctor sighs, "I don't seem to see any problem. Does
it get better or worse at any time?"

"Yeah, it's really bad whenever it rains," she replies.
"Well, then," says the Doc, "Next time it rains, get in
here at once, and we'll take another look at it."

Two weeks later its raining really hard, and the little
lady shows up at the doctor's office.
"Doctor, it's really bad today. Please, you have to help
me!!"

"Well, let's have a look," he says as he lifts her up
onto the table.
"Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse bring me a
surgical kit. Don't worry ma'am this won't hurt a bit."

The dwarf lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation.
The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few
minutes later.
"There you go, ma'am, try that."

She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims,
"That's great, Doc, what did you do?!"

To which the doctor replied,
"I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain
boots."
____________________________________________________






Great dinner entertainment.





Today, October 17, in

1469 - Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. 
 The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 
1685 - King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, 
 which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant 
 population. 
1767 - The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the 
 boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 
1842 - Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable. 
1860 - British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of 
 the Second Opium War. 
1867 - The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. 
 The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars 
 (2 cents per acre). 
1892 - The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, 
 IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 
1898 - The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one 
 year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain. 
1929 - The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council ruled 
 that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 
1944 - Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during WWII. 
1956 - NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of 
 radio-equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks. 
1958 - The first computer-arranged marriage took place on 
 Art Linkletter's show. 
1961 - Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's 
 Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that the 
 painting had been hanging upside down. 
1969 - The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to 
 evidence that they caused cancer. 
1970 - Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death 
 after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation 
 Front (FLQ). 
1983 - General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities 
 for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal Employment 
 Opportunity Commission. 
1989 - The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission that 
 included the deployment of the Galileo space probe. 
1990 - Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil for 
 $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been before 
 the invasion of Kuwait. 
2013 - Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on 
 the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat Dec 6.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman arrested for shoplifting dresses
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 17, in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. 
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, 
and the glare that obscures
--- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; 
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
--- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)

The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the 
world is to be in reality what we would appear to be.
--- Socrates
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Aaron bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for
Valentine's Day. His friend Benny remarked: "I thought
she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive cars."

"She did," Aaron replied. "But where in the world I was
a fake Jeep going to find!"

______________________________________________________

Also known as 'women's intuition,' this sixth sense
thing is no myth. Women usually seem to know what's
going on in their man's lives almost better than they
do themselves. Why is this?

They empty his pockets before throwing his laundry into
the washing machine.

______________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Aree Riveros,
58,
Tampa, 
Florida.


Florida woman arrested for shoplifting dresses

A woman caught stealing a pair of Calvin Klein dresses and 
a Michael Kors jacket told cops that she swiped the fancy 
threads because she “needed something to wear to her son’s 
High School Football Banquet,” according to a police report.

Despite that explanation, Aree Riveros, 58, was still 
arrested on a felony theft charge for allegedly boosting 
the garments Saturday from a Macy’s in Clearwater, Florida.

The clothing, valued at $428, was found in Riveros’s purse 
after she was confronted by security upon exiting the store.

Riveros, pictured above, is free on $2000 bond.

An arrest affidavit does not explain why the Tampa resident 
needed two dresses for her son’s gridiron banquet
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Elaine
Re: How do I make partitions?
Dear Webby
I agree that partitions would be really helpful in
sorting out the mess. The braindead mess on C: is
a real nuisance. So, how do I do it?
Elaine
Dear Elaine
I use Partition Wizard.
There are other partitioning softwares, but I have used 
PartitionWizard for decades and never had a problem.

They have a free version that does probably way more than
what you plan to to.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

A young woman doctor tells the story about her 4 year
old daughter. On the way to pre-school, the doctor had
left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little
girl picked it up and began playing with it.

"Be still, my heart," thought the doctor, "My daughter
wants to follow in my footsteps!"

Then, with all the earnestness of a Social Sciences major
the child spoke into the instrument,
"Wowcome to McDonald's. Do ya want fwies wif that?"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Egg Carton Gardening

Egg cartons are a great biodegradable way to do seed-start 
gardening. Simply cut off the sides and lid from your carton.

Place the cut lid under the carton base to catch leaking water.
Fill the holes three-quarters full with potting soil. Place 
your seeds in the soil then cover them with a thin layer of 
the potting soil. Mist as needed to germinate. If you're using 
a different type of egg container, such as plastic, which 
doesn't drain, just punch a tiny hole in the bottom of each 
egg bed.
By attosa [128]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Money
It can buy a House...............But not a Home
It can buy a Bed.................But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock...............But not Time
It can buy you a Book............But not knowledge
It can buy you a Position........But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine..........But not Health
It can buy you Blood.............But not Life
It can buy you Sex...............But not Love
  So you see money isn't everything.
  And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend,
and as your Friend I want to take away your pain 
and suffering.

So send me all your money,
and I will suffer for you.
PayPal or check only, please.

Thought this was gonna be one of those
"inspirational" ones, didn't you ?
However, if you do feel inspired, 
I sure would appreciate it if you hit the PayPal button!

___________________________________________________


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irDxNnzM868"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Noella-back-gold.jpg" align=left>
Ponsse Scorpion King On Board

____________________________________________________

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the
field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the
field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the
tower received a call from an aircraft asking,
"What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, it's afternoon coffee time.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday.
If it is Coast Guard, it's two before supper.
If it is a Cessna, it's 3 hours to happy hour."

The reply was:
"It's a Piper. Where the heck am I?"

____________________________________________________






Artist adds surreal twist 
to photos on Instagram





Today, October 17, in
1739	Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II 
 so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and 
 deserted young children" in Londond, England. 
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. 
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was 
 released at newsstands. 
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was 
 sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after 
 leaving Germany. 
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina 
 after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) 
 began an oil-embargo against several countries including the 
 U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western 
 support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on 
 October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full 
 U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the 
 San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 
 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty 
 that ended their 19 years of civil war. 
1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid 
 to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia. 
2000 Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory 
 as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the 
 record holder for career victories. 
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian 
 faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge 
 the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 
2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop 
 movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said 
 that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation. 
2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the 
 terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002. 
2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug, 
 known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms. 
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-foot-tall-
 building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for 
 business in 2004. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Gloria !!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida Man arrested and wheeled to jail for wheelchair DUI
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 16, in
1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers 
 using the name Ann Landers. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Go, and never darken my towels again.
--- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
--- Lynda Barry
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The lawyer emailed his client overseas:
"Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Do you 
want us to order burial or cremation ?"

Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both,
but not in that order."

______________________________________________________

The cowboy who was preparing the horses for the
tourists asked a lady she wanted a Western or an
English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.

He told her one had a horn and the other one didn't.

She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't
expect we'll run into too much traffic out here."

______________________________________________________



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Ronny Scott Hicks,
54,
Palm bay
Florida


Florida Man arrested and wheeled to jail 
for wheelchair DUI

Ronny Scott Hicks has two prior DUI convictions, but his 
arrest on Monday night was slightly more memorable.

The 54-year-old Florida man was arrested Monday night after 
police in Palm Bay got reports of a man in a motorized 
wheelchair blocking traffic, according to ClickOrlando.com.

Hicks has two previous DUI convictions, neither while driving 
a wheelchair, according to officials.

When officers arrived on the scene, they allegedly saw Hicks 
sitting in his wheelchair blocking traffic. Officers said he 
smelled of alcohol and was slurring his words, according to 
WBRZ.com.

Hicks allegedly refused to take a breathalyzer test, according 
to WTSP.com. He was taken into custody, refused treatment 
for an open wound, and remains behind bars at the Brevard County 
Jail on $5,000 bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: CyberGrannie
Re: Partitions
Dear Webby
I have a HP laptop with w7 and it has 4 "partitions" or 
rather that is what it looks like.

This is what it looks like:
8 GB ram
Hard disk drives 4:
C: 275GB
D:  298GB
F (recovery) 21.9Gb
G: (HP tools) 99.3MB

It seems these are not partitions so I cannot combine 
Disk 1 (C drive) and disk 2 (D drive)

This seems so ridiculous. Do you know of any way that I 
can combine these 2 "disks"?

This laptop was just restored to original state (with 2 
original disks).

Dear CyberGrannie
That looks OK.
Why combine them?

By the way, D: might be a removable "drive" like DVD.

Just use them as they are.
You would not gain anything by combining them anyway.

For example, I have always used my E: drive for tools 
and programs, and my F: drive for data, that I have produced.
Having extra drives or partitions allows you to have short 
destination, like for example E:\Alpha\Eudora
instead of having my email program buried deep down in the 
wacky chaos on C:

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Arthur came home after a late-night poker game and was
greeted by Sandra, his nagging, sourpussed wife.
"And just where have you been all night?," sandra
screeched at him.
"Playing cards," says Arthur, "but that's not
important.  What matters is that I lost you to Bubba
Smith."

"Lost me!!" Sandra screamed, "How did you manage that?"

"It was a heartbreaker," Michael admitted.
"I had to fold with a royal flush."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Dieter's Chocolate Mousse

This is very simple. No cooking and you can make it the 
strength or quantity you desire. Just take natural Greek 
style yoghurt, or any other non flavored yoghurt. Add 
cooking style cocoa powder. This has no added sugars at 
all. You can also add vanilla.
Simply mix it up in whatever strength you want. You do 
have to mix thoroughly because the cocoa powder seems 
to sit on the surface. You can make it a strong or weak 
chocolaty taste, getting your "chocolate fix" without 
the guilt. If it is a bit strong, you can always add 
a few drops of pure vanilla essence. That's it, simple!
Approximate Time: INSTANTLY
Yield: WHATEVER YOU MIX UP.
Source: NO. MY OWN CONCOCTION.
I HAVE NO IMAGE BECAUSE THE IMAGE IS WHAT IT IS.
By Trixie Pettman-South [2]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Norrissa was nervous the night her new boyfriend invited
her and her three young sons to an upscale restaurant
for the first time.

He ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the
server brought it, the children became quiet as she
began the ritual uncorking. When the waitress poured a
small amount for Norissa to taste and handed her the glass,
her six-year-old piped up,
"Mom usually drinks a LOT more than that!"

___________________________________________________


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tNwrzxaYs8"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Noella-back-gold.jpg" align=left>
courtesy flush

____________________________________________________

Noella's brother has just returned from a visit to Israel 
and reported to her this about elevators in Israel:

Apparently Shabat is the Sabbath and in some cities, it is 
observed faithfully. On that day, the elevators are set to 
stop at every floor so no one has to "work" and press a 
button.

Usually there is one elevator that is still and does not run 
except for opening and closing doors. The doors stay closed 
for 7 minutes and then open - while the elevator doesn't move.

One never knows which elevator is the Shabat elevator. So 
people will get on it accidentally, the doors close and 7 
minutes go by. The door opens, everyone gets off and the 
elevator fills up with new people. Meanwhile the people 
who just got off are trying to tell the new ones - don't 
get on, it won't go anywhere. But of course no one listens, 
so the process starts all over and continues all day long!

____________________________________________________






I never knew there was a 
real little girl behind Alice in Wonderland that had to 
do all the motions as well as the voice.





Today, October 16, in
1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette 
 was beheaded after being convicted of treason. 
1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. 
 The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day 
 and included four meals. 
1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA 
 (now located in West Virginia). 
1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install 
 indoor plumbing. 
1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in 
 New York City, NY. 
1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute 
 the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of 
 the Disney Company. 
1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric 
 light bulb. 
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians 
 entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 
1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened
1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers 
 using the name Ann Landers. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile 
 bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 
1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's 
 fifth nuclear power. 
1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 
1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed 
 Gamal Abdel Nassar. 
1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the 
 Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 
1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic 
 missile from a submarine. 
1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well 
 that she had fallen into in Midland, TX. The was trapped for 58 hours. 
1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S. 
 warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure 
 on the controlling military leaders. 
2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco Inc. 
 for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron Texaco 
 Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world. 
2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it 
 had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of a 1994 
 agreement with the U.S. 
2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five 
 years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal 
 investigation of the energy company Enron. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television 
 episodes sold.
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
S.C. man who battered wife after 
she posted his bail.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 15, in
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential 
 candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would 
 look better if he would grow a beard. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

I believe that people would be alive today if 
there were a death penalty.
--- Nancy Reagan (1921 - )

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
--- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The Italians have followed the ages old tradition of naming
their boats with a three-letter prefix. For example:
USA uses USS which means "United States Ship."
The British uses HMS which means "Her Majesty's Ship."
and now...Italy is using AMB which apparently means
"At's-a My Boat!"

______________________________________________________

 was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked
"Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work."

 looked inside and was amused to see an electric
can opener.

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Robert Christian Chandler,
30,
Myrtle Beach
South Carolina


Bonehead battered wife after 
she posted his bail

Moments after his wife bailed him out of jail today, a 
South Carolina man punched the woman in the face as 
the pair walked out the police department’s front 
door, according to an arrest report.

Robert Christian Chandler, 30, was freed from the 
Myrtle Beach jail around midnight after his spouse 
posted $262 bond. But Chandler, who had been locked 
up on a disorderly conduct charge, did not appear 
grateful for his release.

“What are you doing here, ho?” Chandler asked his 
wife multiple times, cops reported. A surveillance 
camera in the police department’s lobby recorded Chandler 
“grabbing the victim aggressively” as they walked toward 
the front door.

Upon exiting police headquarters, Chandler punched his 
wife in the face, according to a police dispatch supervisor 
who witnessed the attack. Video shows the woman “hitting 
the wall outside the doors,” while the supervisor can be 
heard saying, “He just hit her.”

The 30-year-old victim had cuts on her right arm and her 
nose was swollen, police noted. While acknowledging that 
Chandler “grabbed and shoved her,” she said that she did 
not want him “in any more trouble as she just bailed him 
out of jail.”

Chandler, seen above, was arrested at the police station 
and returned to jail, this time for misdemeanor domestic 
violence.

However, the unemployed Chandler only spent about ten 
hours in custody before he was released from the lockup 
on a $2130 personal recognizance bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Cora
Re: Windows 10 nagger
Dear Webby
Good Morning Webby,
 
Have been getting pop ups to get Windows 10 installed.  
What are your thoughts about it now?  What bothers 
me is.....if I get it installed and don’t like 
it then what?
Really undecided on this.  Any help you can give please.
 
Cora 
Dear Cora
Neither your machine nor you are ready for Windows 10.
It is just a scam to get you to buy a new computer.
There IS a secret way to go back, theoretically,
but it is apparently neither  easy nor totally complete.

IF and when your current machine dies of old age 
and you HAVE to replace it, by then the new machines
will probably have Windows 11 or 12 on them.
It is not a good idea to volunteer to become a 
guinea pig on a x.0 version.
At the very least, wait until 10.1 or 10.2

Also keep in mind, would you buy a detergent or soap
if you were pestered with rude naggers like they do
with Windows 10, 
or would you tell them where to stuff their soap ?
Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your
best friend is a terrible thing to do!"

"He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at
him."

The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at
you, you should have come to me."

The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done?
You can't hit a garbage can from two feet away!
My aim is much better than yours!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Muffin in a Minute (Microwave)

This is a recipe that can be varied to your taste. 
It is healthy, fast and will never get boring.
Approximate Time: Less than 5 minutes
Yield: 1 muffin

Ingredients:
1/4 cup flaxseed meal (can grind the flaxseeds yourself, 
if you prefer)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 Tbsp Splenda (optional)
1 egg
 
Steps:
Get the cup and put the flaxseed meal in.
Add the baking powder.
Add the cinnamon.
Add the Splenda, if using.
Add the egg.
Mix everything together.
Cook for a minute in the microwave.
Turn it out on a plate. If it looks too wet, 
let it sit for a minute or two. Mine was fine.
You can add blueberries or other fruit. 
You can also put in a tablespoon of cream 
cheese before cooking.

Store the flaxseed meal in the freezer to keep longer.

Nutritional Value for Plain Muffin: Calories: 195, 
Fat: 9 grams, Protein: 12 grams, 
Carbs: 9 grams (net carbs 1 gram), 
Fiber: 8 grams, Sugars: 0 grams
Source: Pantry Challenge Yahoo Group

By Judy Pariser S. [35]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and
the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence
with a direct object.

Little Johnny stood and thought, then said,
"Teacher, I think you have lost weight."

"Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said,
blushing. "But what is the direct object?"

"A good report card next month," he replied.

___________________________________________________



Older Ladies

____________________________________________________

"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated
father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room
without supper.  But my son has his own TV, phone,
computer and DVD player.

"So what do you do?" asked his friend.

"I send him to MY room!"

____________________________________________________






Leaky concrete. Hire the right people 
if you want a complicated job done.  I can't imagine that helicopter pilot having that level of control.






Today, October 15, in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of 
 St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential 
 candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would 
 look better if he would grow a beard. 
1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in western 
 Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought 
 from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 
1937 "To Have and Have Not" by Ernest Hemingway was published 
 for the first time. 
1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was executed 
 for treason. 
1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the 
 Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled 
 execution. 
1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had 
 been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 
1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down 
 in Beirut International Airport. 
1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 
1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings, 
 surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career 
 points. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade 
 sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 
1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the 
 land-speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than 
 the speed of sound. 
1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back 
 pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 
1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba 
 for the seventh year in a row. 
2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of 
 Jupiter's moon Io. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast
her wild ride on Periscope.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
--- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972)

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too
old to set a bad example.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Nobody knows the age of the human race,
but everybody agrees that it is
old enough to know better.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled, they  don't recognize you.

______________________________________________________

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room
of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his
full name.  Suddenly, I remembered that a guy with his name
had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon
seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was
too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my
teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.
"Yes," he replied. "Graduated in 1955."

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely and then asked,
"What did you teach?"

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Whitney Beall,
23,
Lakeland, 
Florida


DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast 
her wild ride on Periscope

Drinking and driving don't mix, but it's an especially 
dangerous cocktail when you're live streaming your wild 
ride on Periscope.

Police in Lakeland, Florida, arrested 23-year-old Whitney 
Beall Friday night after receiving 911 calls from Periscope 
viewers reporting that a drunken driver was using the app 
to broadcast herself, according to WFTV.com.

Periscope is an app owned by Twitter that lets people 
livestream events over social media.

Police said Beall told viewers she was "drunk," F---ing drunk," 
and didn't know where she was. At one point, she said had a 
flat tire, according to Fox13.com.

Thanks to numerous 911 calls, officers were able to track down
her Toyota Corolla.

Although Lakeland Police officers are not authorized to use 
Periscope, one of the officers added the app to his own phone 
in order to track the suspect, according to WTSP.com.

When the officers initiated a traffic stop, Beall hit a curb, 
according to WFTV.com

"I really hope I don't get a DUI," she allegedly said seconds 
before hitting a sign in the median, a moment captured on video.

When Beall was finally apprehended, officers said she smelled 
of booze, spoke slowly and had bloodshot, glossy eyes, 
according to TBO.com.

Police said Beall failed a sobriety test and refused a breath 
test to determine her blood-alcohol level. The suspect was 
booked into the Polk County Jail on DUI charges.

She was released Saturday on a $500 bond, according to 
jail records.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Dave
Re: PDF reader
Dear Webby
I hope all is well by you. I have heard some good things 
about Nitro PDF reader. I wanted to know if you heard 
anything about it.

Dave 
Hi Dave
Yes, I have written favorably about it, and have used Nitro
for many years.

It is quite OK.

Using it to fill forms takes a bit of experimenting.
You almost have to read the instructions!
Once you get used to it, though, it  works quite well.

Scan your signature and save it as a jpg or pnp file.
Then you can even insert your signature onto a form,
and then fax it, without ever using up any of YOUR paper.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the
Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The
conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was
telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a
spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke
said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!"

So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to
admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around
the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart,
with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and
blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome..

The Queen turned a bit red and said,
"Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!"
"Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had
thought it was the horse!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Quick Bread from Dumpling Mix

I ran out of bread today, so I tried making up two packets 
of dumpling mix into a loaf. It came out light and aerated. 
The texture looked a little rubbery, so I sliced and toasted 
it. The crust was a bit brittle and tended to flake off when 
slicing.
It tasted really nice toasted. I am thinking of experimenting 
with rolls next time. The mix that I used required only water 
to be added, so possibly a good option for an emergency 
food kit.
By Verity Pink [38]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Mrs. Trent, seated in her living room, heard the back
door slam. Thinking it was her young son, she called,
"I'm in here, darling. I've been waiting for you."

There was no answer for a moment and then a strange
voice faltered,
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I ain't your regular milkman."

___________________________________________________



Explosions

____________________________________________________

Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a
bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles.
The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing?
Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful
liquid in the world."

The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most
powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you
put Holy Water on your forehead every day, bad thoughts 
will pass away."

Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is TURPENTINE!
If you put this on a cat's butt, 
he'll pass a Harley Davidson, maybe even a Kawasaki!"

____________________________________________________






Leaky concrete. This is amazing!





Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands 
 for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement 
 for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 
1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film 
 "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. 
 Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued 
 with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene 
 of the shooting. 
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed 
 record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 
1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the 
 League of Nations. 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather 
 than face execution after being accused of conspiring against 
 Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade 
 liberated the city of Athens. 
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck 
 Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American 
 to break the sound barrier. 
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, 
 began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested 
 the idea of a Peace Corps. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. 
 intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet 
 medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. 
 President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the 
 naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft 
 was transmitted from Apollo 7. 
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death 
 of President Nasser. 
1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in 
 Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians 
 of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running 
 Northern Ireland. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 13

A couple of days ago I noticed that my new neighbors in the 
East had a huge pile of oversize garbage bags filled with 
leaves, and their lawns were already getting covered with 
leaves again and looking just like mine.

I looked at the sky and noticed the beginnings of an arch.
That is a sign of an impending Chinook. (Stormy wind from
the West, 40 gusting to 65, sometimes higher).

On today's walk I noticed that my lawn was clean. No leaves.
My neighbor's lawn had the truckload of bagged leaves gone,
and their lawns were covered with leaves again.

It helps to have obstructions, like my row of Saskatoon 
berries, in line with the wind.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
SC man, who was arrested after he called 911 To 
Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 11, in
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
 the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became 
 known as the White House in 1818. After that the Americans  walked 
 up to Canada and burned down York (Toronto).
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk 
about other people.
--- Lucille S. Harper  

There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the 
creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) 
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about the
corpse: 'Doesn't he look happy?'

'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan. 'He died in his sleep
and he doesn't know he's dead yet! In fact,' she went
on, 'if he wakes up in the morning the shock will kill
him!'

______________________________________________________

The following ad appeared in a newspaper.
Single Black Female Seeks Male companionship,
ethnicity unimportant.
Good looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup
truck.Hunting, Camping, Fishing trips. Cozy winter
nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners
will have me eating out of your hand.
Rub me the right way and watch me respond.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work,
wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm
yours.

Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy.

(The phone number was the Dog Pound and Daisy
was an eight week old Black Labrador Retriever.)

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for sending this picture:


Back Of Crescent
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Patrick Doggett,
53,
Spartanburg,
South Carolina


SC man arrested after he called 911 To 
Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him

A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to 
complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him, 
according to an arrest report.

When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick 
Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, 
Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass.”

Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day 
and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett 
got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her 
grandchild with her.”

So, Woodruff noted, Doggett "got up and then dialed 911."

Doggett, who was outside the residence drinking an alcoholic 
beverage when police arrived, was arrested for public 
intoxication and booked into the county jail (where he 
remains locked up this afternoon).

Pictured above, Doggett has not been cited for misusing the 
911 system, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Many
Re: Font Color




From all the replies I gather that the problem is monitor 
brightness.
I send the font color "Navy". 
So does Ophelia.
Most people find that more readable and more relaxing than 
black. 

Now, get this:
Some people like the fonts "Black, as they are now."
Some people like the fonts "Blue, as they are now."
And the majority likes the fonts "Navy, as they are now."

That indicates to me that 
1) Some people have their monitor set too dark, and they 
see the Navy colored fonts as black.

2) Some people have their monitor set too bright, and they 
see the Navy color as Blue.

3) That the majority have set the brightness optimally for 
their eyes, and they see all the colors as intended.

I shudder to think how beautiful flowers or sunsets get 
trashed, if the colors are shifted.

Turn the monitor brightness a tad, up or down, until my 
fonts look "Navy". 
Easier on the eyes, and colors are more natural.
Just use the font color to calibrate the overall 
brightness.

You can do that with the buttons at the bottom of the monitor,
and with some monitors even from Windows.

Neil sent this link:
Calibrate" target="_blank" >http://windows.microsoft.com/is-IS/wind ... ;Calibrate colors from Windows

Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic
parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and talons and
wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's
assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and
is apt to bite.

The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens
the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks at the
wary assistant.

"Don't worry," the parrot squawks. "I won't hurt you."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Egg Cloud Recipes

I love this recipe because it only has two ingredients and 
turns into something deliciously elegant. With the high 
prices on eggs these days, this is nice way to stretch your 
money.
Approximate Time: 10
Yield: 3 clouds
Ingredients:
3 eggs
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

Steps:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking pan with 
parchment paper. Separate your egg yolks from the whites.

Whip the egg whites at high speed for a few minutes until 
stiff peaks form.

Fold in the Parmesan cheese. Divide the fluffy whites 
into 3 cloud shapes on the baking sheet.

Using a spoon, hollow out a well on each cloud where you 
will be dropping your egg yolk. [Later]

Bake egg white cloud for a few minutes. Remove from oven, 
and drop an egg yolk into each cloud.

Bake another 3 minutes.

Enjoy your beautiful creation!

By attosa [125]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

How to build a camp fire
1. Split dead tree limb into fragments and shave one
fragment into slivers.

2. Bandage left thumb.

3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4. Bandage left foot.

5. Make pyramid of slivers (include those embedded in
    hand)

6. Light Match

7. Find a dry match and light it

8. Borrow a lighter and use it to light match.

9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow
gently into base of fire.

10. Apply burn ointment to nose.

11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out
searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled
"kerosene."

13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14. Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining
firewood.

16. Apologize for burning down all the tents and the outhouse

17. When thunder storm has passed, gather more
firewood and try again, applying lessons learned in
steps 1-15.

___________________________________________________



school lunch

____________________________________________________

It may still be summer where you are, but in South
Carolina it's the season of the big fall mosquitos.

The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and
two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one
says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and
have a picnic."

The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down
there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us."

____________________________________________________






What people in 1900 thought the year 2000 would look like.





Today, October 13, in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction 
 of a naval fleet. 
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
 the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became 
 known as the White House in 1818. 
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown 
 Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. 
 invasion of Canada. 
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry 
 Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an 
 armistice with the Allies and declared war on their ally, Germany. 
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed 
 at Piraeus. 
1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for 
 the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on 
 an hour long special. 
1962 "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the 
 new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of 
 the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France 
 supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and 
 one minute. No passengers, just lots of fuel.
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in 
 San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 11



Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Colorado burglar arrested in jail
after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 11, in
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put 
 into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went 
 between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
--- Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804)

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible 
 to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
--- Charles Kuralt
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

>From Clyde
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting 
surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, 
perform the operation.  

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak
to his son. 
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"  

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, 
if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your 
mother is going to come and live with you and your wife." 

______________________________________________________

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a
hospital. The patient has had major surgery to
both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically
holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told
me that I will be able to play the piano when these
bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet
music!"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Rodney Mark Hendrix,
49,
Denver, 
Colorado


Colorado burglar arrested in jail
after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later

It was the doo doo that did him in.

Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, is accused of burglarizing a 
Denver pre-school and church in August 2014 and was caught 
due to a DNA test of a pair of poopy shorts left in a 
bathroom at the crime scene.

A pre-school employee noticed the crap-stained clothes and put 
them in a plastic bag before the police arrived, according to 
the arrest affidavit.

The responding officer took the contaminated shorts into 
evidence, but it took 13.5 months for them to worm their way 
through the forensic labs, according to Lynn Kimbrough, a 
spokesperson for the Denver District Attorney.

"In Colorado, a DNA sample is taken of anyone who is arrested 
for a felony," Kimbrough told HuffPost. "So when they ran the 
unknown sample, his DNA was already in the system."

Kimbrough didn't want to venture a guess as to what the poopy 
shorts smelled like after more than a year.

Hendrix is accused of stealing two guitars from the church 
and numerous electronic items from the school, with a combined 
total value of $4,072.

He was charged earlier this week of two counts of burglary, 
two counts of theft, and one count of identity theft, according 
to the arrest affidavit.

The suspect was already in custody in the Colorado Department 
of Corrections on unrelated theft and drug cases when the 
s*** hit the fan, according to the Denver Post.

Hendrix is is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on 
Oct. 16 to be formally advised of the charges, according to 
CBS Denver.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Karl
Re: Multiple browsers

Hi Webby,
Another great thing about running two different browsers 
side by side is you can have two accounts with the same 
company open at the same time.  For example, I sometimes 
have my work gmail account open while having my personal 
gmail account open.  If I only used one browser, I'd have 
to sign out of one or the other.  Right now I have 3 
browsers open.  Firefox, SeaMonkey, and Lynx.  I've had 
as many as four.

People still use Lynx?  I'm limited to five gigs a month.  
I read a lot of news articles on Lynx because it doesn't 
download all the crap on web pages.  The average Lynx page 
download seems to be about 37K.  Versus the 2-3 megs per 
page using a regular browser with javaScript enabled.  
Is it HTML 5 that brought us the bottomless webpage?  
God, I hate that.  All those self loading videos and ads. 
It burns a lot of bandwidth plus it slows the system down.

If you have anybody in the Denver area that's interested in 
making the switch to Linux, you can put them in touch with me.
Karl

Dear Karl
Good point!
Sometimes, when I am in the middle of a form on a borwser
and don't want to leave that page, I open a different tab, 
but when I already have a lot of tabs open, then it is
definitely better to open a different browser.

I agree, for just reading text nothing gets even close
to good ol Lynx on Linux. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

>From Ed
I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to
me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded
with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the
seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little
girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her
lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little
lady straining to see what I was holding.

"What ya got, mister?" she asked.
(Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind
her business.)

I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and
says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?"

(Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear
telling her to sit down.)

I said, "they're for my girlfriend".

The little 5 year old said, again with a loud voice,
"WOW, pretty RED ones, and a LOT of them, too!
Man, you really must have f****d up!"

Her mother turned as red as the roses, but all the
other passengers bust a gut laughing.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Homemade Cat Litter Box

After seeing a nifty cat box with a high price tag, I 
decided to make my own. It is a tote with a hole cut in 
the top of the lid. I had empty totes already so that 
didn't cost me anything. The litter does not get kicked 
out at all. Occasionally some is tracked, but it is way 
better than it being kicked out. My cats love it too.
Additionally, I did buy a cat pan set that has two pans 
and a sifter for like $18 at one of the big box stores. 
The solid pan fits perfectly in my tote. I still have to 
disinfect the big tote, but not as often as I do the inside 
pans. Overall, it is less cumbersome.
By mreynolds [1]]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her
husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had
taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but
would and then call back.

When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor
called and asked her what had happened. She said,
"Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a
barometer on his chest and it said dry,
so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!"

___________________________________________________



360 frying pan dance

____________________________________________________

The Burgess Hill Town Council in the UK, in response 
to a worker's complaint that sunlight coming through 
the window caused a glare on her computer screen, 
has already had three meetings, six months of discussion, 
contact with several contractors, produced a six page report,
worked up five potential alternatives, their favorite
being the spending of up to $10,000 to put computer
controlled screens on the outside of the window or
coat the window with reflective film, 

but whose Town Clerk has decided to solve the problem by 
moving the desk away from the window.

____________________________________________________






Tales and pictures 
of feral children.....so sad.





Today, October 11, in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle 
 of Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict 
 Arnold suffered heavy losses. 
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put 
 into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went 
 between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 
1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. 
 The electric machine was used for counting votes for the 
 U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 
 because there was no way to rig it for cheating. 
1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film 
 for cameras. 
1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British 
 and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 
1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a 
 nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter 
 from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. 
 atomic program rapidly. 
1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. 
 The probe did not reach its destination and fell back to 
 Earth and burned up in the atmosphere. 
1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned 
 Apollo mission was the first in which live television 
 broadcasts were received from orbit. Wally Schirra, 
 Don Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham were the 
 astronauts aboard. 
1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went 
 out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant 
 Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service. 
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female 
 astronaut to space walk. She was aboard Challenger. 
1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 
1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 
1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay 
 rights measure in the state was unconstitutional. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 10

Thank you, Elizabeth!!


After yesterday's uncomplimentary remarks about IE,
by sheer coincidence, of course,
FaceBook blocked me. They claimed that DearWebby was not
my real name. 
DearWebby has been my name a lot longer than FaceBook
has been theirs!

It's just a minor nuisance. Considering the source, it really
is not a big deal. I rarely spend more than 5 minutes per
day on FB, and the number of FB friends are only about 1/6
of the Humor Letter readers, if that. 

You can still get to my FB page with old links, so it really
is not a big deal.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida car thief arrested for driving 
stolen car to police station
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 9, in

More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. 
And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
--- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980) 
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Two Venusians are walking down the street. One Venusian
finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again.
Puzzled, she says to the other one,
"I just know I've seen this face before!"

"Give it to me", says the other Venusian. She looks in
the mirror and says,
"Of course, you silly! It's me!!"

______________________________________________________

The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a
few minutes. When she returned, she found the children
in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely
quiet.

She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen
anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please
tell me, what came over all of you?
Why are you so well behaved and quiet?"

Finally, after much urging,  spoke up and
said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came
back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:



No, she did not go out onto the porch to take that picture!
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Carnell Eugene Butler
18,
St. Petersburg, 
Florida


Florida car thief arrested for driving 
stolen car to police station

Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to 
police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous 
auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found 
in yet another stolen car.

Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen 
car cases.

St. Petersburg police say officers found a stolen Infiniti 
on Sunday. Inside, they found Butler's documents related 
to a June auto theft arrest.

Detectives contacted Butler, who arranged to pick them up. 
When he arrived at police headquarters, a detective 
arrested Butler and found keys to a Hyundai Sonata in his 
pocket. The car was located a block away.

It, too, had been reported stolen.

Butler is held without bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Dani
Re: Firefox and/or Chrome

Good Morning Webby,
 I see in today's Webby tips that you suggest using Chrome, 
or at least FireFox. 
I am using FireFox. Do you think Chrome is better than FireFox?  
If I install Chrome, should I remove FireFox or keep it as a 
back up? 
Thanks for all you do to help us. 
Dani

Dear Dani
You can have both FireFox AND Chrome running side by side.
Personally, I prefer Chrome, but sometimes I use both Chrome 
and Firefox side by side to compare how a new design appears 
on different browsers.
Usually they are quite consistent these days.

There is no need to get rid of one. Unlike IE, those two are 
both quite secure.

DearWebby

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian
minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of
them automatically said, "Hello, Father."

The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no
father, you dummy," said the second youth,
"He's married and got three kids!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Store Duck Tape in Baggies


I use duct tape for many of my crafts and with cats, I 
constantly am picking off hair from the edge of the tape 
roll. I also find that when I put it away in my storage 
box it sticks to everything. To solve both of these issues 
I have started storing the rolls in plastic baggies. I use 
both sandwich (holds 1 roll) and gallon (holds 4 rolls) 
sized bags.
By lalala... [696]

By the way, it's DUCK tape, not duct tape.
The name comes from DUCK Weave, a square weave strip as
used for the Egyptian mummies and countless applications 
since then. Hospital tape is one of the better known ones,
and so is Duck Tape. 

A Duck weave tape always tears straight across, never
lengthwise like Fiber Tape. Duck tape of course is also
used for taping ducts, where the workers appreciate that
it tears straight across and never lengthwise.

There have been lots of arguments and even lawsuits about
duck versus duct. The fact is, though, it has been called
duck tape for a lot longer than there have been ducts.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

The most remarkable thing about Ernie's wife is that
for thirty years she served the family nothing but
leftovers.

The original meal has never been found.

___________________________________________________



360 cockpit video
Swiss airforce goofing around

____________________________________________________

Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song,
will I live longer?

Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

____________________________________________________






What an interesting world we live in.
September's National Geographic photo highlights.





Today, October 10, in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD.
1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 
1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 
1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries 
 under Sun Yat-sen. 
1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of 
 the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. 
1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 
1938 Nazi Germany completed its return of Czechoslovakia's 
 Sudetenland. 
1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president 
 of China. 
1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla 
 Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the 
 official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 
1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the 
 first global airline service. 
1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 
1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" 
 comic strip. 
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of 
 British rule. 
1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. 
 He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 
1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in 
 reaction to a military coup that forced President 
 Jean-Claude Aristide into exile. 
1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the 
 Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 
1997 The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, opened to the 
 public. 
2003 Rush Limbaugh annouced that he was addicted to painkillers 
 and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 
2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 
2015  smiled.

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Michael!!!!!
Thanks, Neil!
Thanks, Ron!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Missouri intruder arrested for sleeping in an
unused bedroom
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 9, in
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________

There is always some madness in love. But there is also 
always some reason in madness.
--- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
______________________________________________________

If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago
to Bison, New York."

The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the
name of the town?"

"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere."

The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone
knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there! Check your
map!"

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?"

The customer replied: "That's close enough."

______________________________________________________

New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but
had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write
the guy a check.

The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I
take a check from you ? I don't even know you !"

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Gregory Trent Cole
53,
WENTZVILLE, 
Mo.


Partially-clothed intruder found sleeping 
in child's unused bedroom

A 53-year-old man has been charged with burglary and 
harassment after he was found asleep in an empty bedroom of 
someone else's Missouri home.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports Gregory Trent Cole was 
charged Monday. Authorities say Cole entered a home in the 
St. Louis suburb of Wentzville and went into a bedroom early 
Sunday while the people who lived in the home were in 
another room. They say he removed some of his clothes and 
went to sleep. Police say the man was discovered around 
8 a.m., wearing only underwear and a shirt.

Cole was taken to the St. Charles County Jail, where he is 
jailed on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ginger
Re: IE malfunction

Dear Webby
Ctrl/Alt/up arrow worked to get the screen right side up.
Now I'm getting a message when I try to sign in with 
Internet Explorer:
"There is a problem with this website's security certificate" 
no matter what site I try to sign in to....
any idea what's going on?

Thank you,
Ginger

Dear Ginger
Internet Exploder is obsolete, and not secure enough.
Dump it.
Use Chrome, or at least FireFox.

I have not used Internet Exploder for many years and have 
no idea how to fix it's problems.
Good Luck!
DearWebby


Thanks Webby - I DID switch to Chrome and it's working fine.
Glad we have you for a resource person!
Ginger

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

 was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the
CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece
of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you
make this thing work?"

"Certainly,"  said.

 turned the shredder on, and with a flourish
bowed out of the way.

As the CEO inserted the paper, the motor inside whirred to
live and pulled the paper in.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Treating Dry Cracked Heels

A major cause of dry cracked heels in women comes after 
menopause. Hormonal changes are a major culprit. All of 
our glands are changing. The oil glands slow down oil 
production. There isn't much you can do except for 
diligent care.

There are a few excellent exfoliate files made especially 
for feet. Pumice stones work for the younger crowd, but 
not for us. Cheap Dollar Store foot scrapers don't work. 
Go to a beauty supply and get a good brand foot exfoliater 
and foot cream.

Diligence is the major key to keeping your heels soft like 
they were in your teens. It is possible. Make it a nightly 
regime; file (exfoliate) and cream every night!
By hopeful [27]

The same happens with men too, especially if they are getting
close to heart or diabetes problems.

I found best for getting rid of dry calloused skin on the 
feet and elbows, yes, it affects them too, is the flexible
sanding mesh sold for gyprock (sheet rock, drywall) work.
It is a flexible mesh, that does not clog up or build up.
Just shake it when done, and it is clean again, ready for 
next time. 
You can get it at Home Depot and similar places for $3 - $5
for a pack of 5. Keep one, give away the rest.

After sanding I use a little dab of baby oil. Not as fancy 
on the outside of the bottle, but does the job quite nicely.
Just once a week is enough for me now. No more cracked and 
painfully infected heels, but soft and flexible skin.

If you got thick and hard callouses, that have started to 
crack and the cracks "swallow" sock lint and infect, you 
should go to a pedicurist to clean out the cracks and glue 
them. Believe it or not, when the cracks are cleaned out and
disinfected, they can be glued shut with crazy glue. That
allows them to heal in record time. 

However, a weekly sanding and oiling should become a habit,
once that excessive skin growth on heels and soles,
and elbows, has started.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard.
His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what
happened?!"
"Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the
lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some
artificial respiration and he'll be fine."

"What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real
respiration or nothing."

___________________________________________________



Asi se crea un mosaico 
pieza a pieza
Personally, I think this is so cool! 
All the handwork involved.

____________________________________________________

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please
stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long
silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then , why do you consider yourself an
idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate
to see you standing all by yourself."

____________________________________________________

1... Avoid alliteration. Always.

2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4... Employ the vernacular.

5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8... Contractions aren't necessary

9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10.. One should never generalize.

11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
    "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary;
     it's highly superfluous.

14.. Profanity sucks.

15.. Be more or less specific.

16.. Understatement is always best.

17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20.. The passive voice is to be avoided.

21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23.. Who needs rhetorical questions?

____________________________________________________






Sculptures by Lorenzo Quinn, 
son of Actor Anthony Quinn.





Today, October 9, in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished 
 from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against 
 punishments for religious offenses and giving away land 
 that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded 
 Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek 
 religious freedom. 
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered 
 in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is 
 now San Francisco, CA. 
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary 
 War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led 
 by George Washington, defeated the British troops under 
 Lord Cornwallis. 
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two 
 British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, 
 and St. Louis, MO, began. 
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with 
 the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later 
 became Montgomery Wards. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their 
 longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 
1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 
1919 The Cincinnati Reds won the World Series. The win would be 
 later tainted when 8 Chicago White Sox were charged with 
 throwing the game. The incident became known as the 
 "Black Sox" scandal. 
1935 "Cavalcade of America" was first broadcast on CBS radio. 
1936 The first generator at Hoover Dam began transmitting 
 electricity to Los Angeles, CA. 
1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. 
 The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 
1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The 
 Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an UFO. 
 The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited 
 the city of Voronzh. 
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in 
 response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and 
 hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in 
 Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring 
 a hundred. 
2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his 
 father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing 
 him to number 9. 
2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made 
 Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing 
 Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water 
 had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 
2015  smiled.

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