Remove ads from recipes 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 22

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk NYC real estatebroker steals taxi. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 22, in 1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. --- Josh Billings Women only have two complaints. Nothing to wear, and not enough closet space for it." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish." The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF! He was 90. ______________________________________________________ While at a government office, a voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. Whenever there is a telphone outage, the speaker system will automatically take over for all inter-office communication. When the phones are off and the speakers are on, please do not relay any confidential information." Then the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please phone the help desk." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kinga Tabares, 27, NYC NY
NYC real estate broker was so drunk she allegedly stole a NYC taxi cab and went for a wild ride. This NY real estate broker was so drunk and wild the cab driver drove straight to the closet NYPD station to have them help him deal with her. It's a NY city cab driver who did this. They see the best and the worst of NYC, so for this cab driver to drive straight to the police station just shows how much of a drunken mess this 27 year old woman must have been. When he went into the station to get the cops, she jumped in the drivers seat and ttook off in his taxi. When the cops find her she's in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan throwing up out of the drivers window. Drinking too much is not a good look, especially for a Douglas Elliman real estate broker, no matter how cute a hypnotist she is. Stealing a cab and drunk driving will hopefully get her some time to sober up and settle down.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Clean ads from recipes Dear Webby, About those recipes - I copy lots from Thrifty Fun too, and other sites with ads, and I have no clue what you just advised to avoid them. What I do is just copy everything & paste it somewhere, then just go through it & delete everything I don't want. Pictures go with one right click & delete, other stuff may have to be highlighted but it works for me. Bonnie in NH Dear Bonnie Great idea and a lot faster than I had been doing it. I will upgrade to doing it your way right now! Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A wealthy old man looked around the table at his two sons and five daughters and their spouses gathered for a family reunion. "Not a single grandchild," he said with a sigh. "Kids, when I was busy getting us securely established, were a nuisance, but grandchildren would be a pleasure, now that I would have time for them. I'll give a million dollars to the first kid who presents me with a little one to bounce on my knee. Now, let's say grace." ... When the old man lifted his eyes again, his wife was the only other person at the table. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Magic Lampshade This is a way to create an easy and fun, magic lampshade customized by you! Approximate Time: approximately 10 minutes Supplies: white lampshade black Sharpie pen Steps: Take a white lampshade and draw anything you want inside with a black Sharpie pen. You can look on the internet or books for ideas. Shadow puppet images are helpful. I chose Mary Poppins. I drew it free hand in case sketching would be visible. As a result I don't know if sketches will show. Turn the light on and, voila, surprise! There you are - Mary Poppins. Entertain your friends and family, or just sit back and enjoy your creation. :) By KIM HOGGAN [18] If you don't like drawing, you can cut out suitable pictures and glue them to the inside of the lamp shade. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. After surveying all the stuff he piled onto the check-out conveyor, the check-out clerk remarked: "If you ever want to experiment with spaghetti, you better get some professional help!" ___________________________________________________
Air New Zealand safety video
Air New Zealand safety video ____________________________________________________ Watching her mother as she put on her new fur coat, young Jackie said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize how much some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?" The woman shot her an angry look, "Jackie, how dare you talk about your father like that!" ____________________________________________________ The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?" "No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time. The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady." "Is this Oriskany Falls?" "YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!" "Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my first blood pressure pill." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thank you to Bonnie for submitting her blunder: We haul our own trash to the dump (ok, recycle/transfer station). Last week while there I asked one of the employees to break down an especially tough box that I wanted to recycle. He was so nice to help and while he was breaking it down, I even asked him what to do with used lawnmower oil & the filter. It was then that he told me that he didn't work there but was glad to help out! How embarrassing! Bonnie Noella ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, November 22, in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland 
 for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed 
 during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British 
 soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was 
 shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 
1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated
1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin adopted 
 the SOS distress signal. 
1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed publicly. 
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA, when 
 the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila. The craft 
 was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade 
 in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously 
 wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 
 36th U.S. President. 
1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The resolution 
 called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had captured in 
 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's right to exist. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American travel 
 to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963. 
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of 
 Gen. Francisco Franco. 
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid 
 $4 million for the broadcast rights. 
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between 
 New York and Europe. 
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S. 
 nuclear missiles in West Germany. 
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. 
 It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential 
 area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 
1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel 
 Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be 
 sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world heavyweight-
 boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 
1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba 
 and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from Angola. 
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less 
 than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded 
 next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara
 shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a 
 gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the 
 gunman were killed in the gun battle. 
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire 
 in response to a retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving 
 lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient. 
 Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for 
 second-degree murder. 
2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor. 
2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 
2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur 
 skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah. 
2015  smiled.


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Recipes without ads 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 21

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Utah man upset at missing his child's birth called in bomb threat. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 20, in 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --- Robert Anton Wilson I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "It's not all the devil's fault; she's not that easy to get along with either on some days." ______________________________________________________ Sad, but unfortunately aparently true: From the Florida News Network: Hugh Friday, a teacher at Forest Hill High School, ran a stop sign and was pulled over. After receiving a ticket, Friday who is supposed to be a role model to the teenagers in the school, pulled up to the stop sign, stood up in the front seat of his car, looked in an exaggerated and prolonged gaze in both directions for others cars, and immediately received another ticket for "obstructing a roadway." He was convicted on both charges. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Morlang, 26, in jail in Idaho
Utah man upset at missing his child's birth calls in bomb threat. A Utah man accused of calling in a hospital bomb threat because he was upset he couldn't attend his child's birth is now being charged in federal court. Michael Morlang was indicted Wednesday and faces up to 10 years if convicted, the U.S. Attorney's Office in Utah said in a news release. The threat led to an evacuation and lockdown on Sept. 17 at a hospital in the small central Utah city of Richfield. His wife and her father told investigators the day of the incident that Morlang made the bomb threat because he was angry about not being there for the birth, show court documents from state charges filed earlier this year. The woman's father also told investigators that Morlang was upset because he heard his wife was going to have a procedure to prevent having more pregnancies. A nurse told police she spoke with Morlang, and that he was "extremely upset that they were going forward with the birth" while he was still in Idaho. Morlang acted like he didn't know of a threat when reached by phone that day while on a bus back to Idaho, Richfield City police investigators said in court documents. They weren't able to connect with him after that. Morlang is custody in Idaho on unrelated crime. It's not clear if he has an attorney. The Utah state charge filed in September against Morlang, one count of threat of terrorism, are being dismissed now that the federal government is pursuing charges, said U.S. Attorney's Office spokeswoman Melodie Rydalch.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lesley Re: Recipes without ads Dear Webby, Whenever you show a recipe from Thriftyfun, you got just the recipe without the pesky ads they spit into the middle of theirs. When I try to copy one, I always get the silly ads, that don't work anyway after copying. What is your secret? Lesley Dear Lesley No secret, just effort. I use NoteTab for all text editing, including the Humor Letter. I copy the heading, for example the name of the recipe, paste it into the text and click on the B to bold it. Then I copy the recipe as far as the first ad, ALT TAB to the text, CTRL V to paste it, ALT TAB back to the recipe. Then I highlight the next portion down to the next ad, copy, ALT TAB, paste. And so on. No secret, just tedious effort. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Morris and Harry were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught. So Morris comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Harry, "You wouldn't believe, but in the Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring." Harry says, "That's nothing, last time I fished in the Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish ship -- and da candle was still burning!" They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying. Finally, Harry said to Morris, "Look Morris, if you take 499 pounds off your herring . . . I'll blow out my candle!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Perfume Dirty Laundry with Orange Peels I am moving from a house to an apartment. All is chaos. I just discovered I confused the laundry basket with the trash - only once. I found that the dirty clothes smelled great thanks to the dried out orange peel. By Joan F. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teenage beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. She informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend said, " At her age, that's not good at all. Why is she staying up all night?" "She's waiting for me to come home." ___________________________________________________
how to trick your dog into taking a pill
how to trick your dog into taking a pill ____________________________________________________ Wendy was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, Wendy had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, her husband was six-feet-tall so she called him to help. "Hey, James!" Wendy yelled , who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Honey," James remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title 'Your Highness.'" ____________________________________________________ One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $1000 to the building fund...." To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I'm all out of blunders right now. I'm sorry. Maybe you could print my suggestion for others to send in theirs? Noella ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, November 21, in
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship discharged 
 the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26, 1620. 
1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. 
 The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, 
 Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5½ miles over Paris. 
1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 
1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph. 
1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 
1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures 
 against Cuba. 
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred Buzhardt, 
 announced the presence of an 18½-minute gap in one of the White 
 House tape recordings related to the Watergate case. 
1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by a 
 mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 
1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino in 
 Las Vegas, NV. 
1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, 
 LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 
1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused 
 to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual 
 advances toward 10 women in past years. 
1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia that 
 was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian 
 "safe area" of Bihac. 
1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at a 
 test site in the South Pacific. 
1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned space 
 capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 
2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to keep 
 the presidential recounts going. 
2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, 
 software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the poorest 
 schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of a deal to 
 settle most of the company's private antitrust lawsuits. 
2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, 
 Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 
2015  smiled.


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Desk height for typing 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Non-American citizen arrested for voting in Texas — FIVE times Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 20, in 1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A teacher observed a boy entering the classroom with dirty hands. She stopped him and said, "Johnny, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" With a smile the boy replied, "I think I'd be too polite to mention it." ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my math homework for me?" Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "Why don't you at least try ? Mom can help you with it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, Somerset, Texas
Non-American citizen arrested for voting in Texas — FIVE times – faces up to 20 years A Texas woman, who is not a citizen of the United States, was arrested Friday for having illegally voted in Dallas County — five times. Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, is presently a resident of the Tarrant County Jail, where she is being held on a $10,000 bond, according to the Dallas-Fort Worth NBC affiliate Channel 5 News, which reported: Ortega is married to an American and is living legally in this country, but is not a citizen and therefore, not qualified to vote, said Harry White, who supervises public integrity and white collar crime investigations for the Tarrant County District Attorney. Ortega applied to vote in Tarrant County and acknowledged on the application form that she was not a citizen, White said. The county rejected her application and notified her she was not qualified to vote. Having learned her lesson that only American citizens may vote in Texas, she re-applied five months later, this time claiming to be a U.S. citizen. Although Ortega never voted in Tarrant country, records indicate that she did so five times in neighboring Dallas county — the earliest in a 2004 Republican primary, the latest in the 2014 Republican primary. Her charges — illegal voting — is a second degree felony, punishable by a two to 20 year prison sentence. A running battle between Republicans and Democrats is centered on voter ID laws. More than 30 states currently have some form of voter ID requirement. Republicans claim that such laws are necessary as a protection against voter fraud. Democrats claim stories of voter fraud are overblown and voter ID laws amount to voter suppression.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Desk height for typing Dear Webby, A kitchen table is between 29-30 inches high and a desk is about 27 inches high. For the keyboard it needs the pull-out tray that is at 25 inches from the floor. Noella Dear Noella For somebody as cute as you are, those numbers are probably qite OK. For the rest of us, the guidelines are: (For fastest typing speed without causing discomfort or carpal injury) Back straight, upper arms straight perpendicular, forearms level when the heel of the palm rests on the wrist rest of the keyboard. Luckily nowadays office chairs are cheaper than kitchen chairs and are adjustable in height. For Web-TVers and "Slouch-on-the-couch" FB activists those guidelines of course need to be adjusted a bit. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Joe was on the phone and told his wife what a lousy day it'd been. She asked, "Will you be joining me in the hot tub tonight?" "Wow, how sweet. What a lovely way to spend an evening," he thought. He was just about to tell her how considerate and wonderful she was being when she continued: "'Cuz, if you're not, I need to start adding more water to the tub." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rib-Eye and Roasted Garlic Vegetables This is a nice "put it in the oven and forget it" meal. The meat melts like butter in your mouth. It's so good. We found mixed mini potatoes on sale at the store instead of red potatoes and I forgot to put the onions in the bag, when I made the roast this time. It was still tasty and my kids did a better job eating it, so I might leave them out on purpose next time :) I really love the oven bags for easy meals. Rib-Eye Roast can be VERY expensive so keep an eye out for sales and you can always opt to use a cheaper cut of meat. Approximate Time: 2 1/4 hours Yield: 8 Ingredients: 1 large Reynolds Oven Bag 1 Tbsp flour 1 1/2 tsp oregano 3/4 tsp pepper 1/2 tsp salt 3-3 1/2 lb ribeye roast 1 1/2 lb small red potatoes, halved (I didn't half them) 1 pkg (16 oz) baby carrots 2 med. onions (I forgot them) 1 whole bulb garlic, unpeeled 1 Tbsp butter additional salt and pepper to taste Steps: Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Shake flour in oven bag. Place bag inside a large baking pan. Rub raw beef with oregano, pepper, and salt. Place beef in bag. Arrange veggies in an even layer around roast. Add extra salt and pepper if desired (I would recommend it). Cut 1 inch off the top of the garlic bulb and place in bag. I placed it top down on top of the meat. Close bag and cut 6 - 1/2 inch slits in the top of the bag. Cook for 1 1/2 - 1 3/4 hours or until meat thermometer reads 145 degrees (this took closer to 2 hours). Let meat rest for 10 minutes before slicing. Place vegetables and garlic in bowl and toss with 1 Tbsp. butter. Serve as a side with the sliced meat. I also served with green beans for some color and extra nutrition. Source: Reynolds By Stephanie [154] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. "Get lost, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one to the other, "it's maybe bad luck to use the back of a Madonna poster, or maybe we should instead put it in not so religious terms and make a sign that just says 'Bridge Out' ?" ___________________________________________________
the story of Jonah - told in the cutest way
the story of Jonah - told in the cutest way ____________________________________________________ We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who was contacted by police to assist in a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect." ____________________________________________________ The spammers from bratan.org sent me some spam asking me to sign their petition that the death penalty for murderers and terrorists be abolished. I told them, quite the opposite, it should be kept, and that spammers should be burned at the stake. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders My bosses finally got new computers and were figuring out how to use them. A few days later, my boss called me into her office and asked if I could show her how to draw a line. Thinking she wanted something exotic, I searched for a way to draw a line for her. Turned out, all she wanted was to add a line after a prompt for filling in the name, like this: ____________________ On her typewriter you could only backspacen and then underline actualtext but not empty spaces. So I introduced her to that new key on the keyboard. Noella ____________________________________________________
Creepy vintage ads. What were they thinking?!?!

Today, November 20, in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of Spain. 
1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and 
 Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 
1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in Mexico. 
1929 The radio program "The Rise of the Goldbergs," later known 
 as "The Goldbergs," made its debut on the NBC Blue Network. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on 
 Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes tribunal 
 in Nuremberg, Germany. 
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten, 
 Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 
1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark and 
 Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed its 
 missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its blockade of 
 the island. 
1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in Washington, 
 DC, went past 200 million. 
1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential use 
 of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the substance. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader to 
 address Israel's parliament. 
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur 
 pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The 
 freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The 
 Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous 
 freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 
1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the controversial 
 ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie depicted the outbreak 
 of nuclear war. 
1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. 
 The title was The Poky Little Puppy. 
1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague, 
 Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 
1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into 
 the country of Kuwait. 
1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor 
 Castle in England. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in 
 Zambia to end 19 years of war. 
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince Charles 
 in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television. 
1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden 
 safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating 
 two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist attacks 
 on New York City and the Pentagon. 
1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of 
 health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also 
 agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 
2015  smiled.


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Ergo keyboard 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 19

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania woman who got 2 DUIs same night, same car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 19, in 1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant. ______________________________________________________ A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dad for this picture: These bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michele Leonard, 47, Somerset, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania woman who got 2 DUIs same night, same car. Pennsylvania State police say they've arrested a woman for two different drunken driving crashes in the same day. Troopers from Somerset say Michele Leonard, of Somerset, crashed her car about 5 p.m. Saturday. She was arrested, charged with drunken driving and then released. Police say that's when Leonard offered a stranger $3 for a ride back to her crashed vehicle, which she entered and began driving again. Police say Leonard again lost control of the car, and sideswiped a parked car in Somerset Township about 6 p.m., then crashed into a garage, which she destroyed along with a pick-up parked in it and thousands of dollars worth of special tools.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna Re: Ergo Keyboard Dear Webby, For the lady with the keyboard problem with her laptop... as a former personal trainer regular keyboards and laptop keyboards especially being so small are terrible for your wrists, causing pinches nerves and are just carpal tunnel waiting to happen. Just look at the angle of your inner wrist as you try to type! My suggestion would be an ergonomic keyboard. Yes they take some getting used to (after two weeks about 10 years ago, I was ready to pitch mine out the window...learning that for 30 years I had been typing the letter N with the wrong finger!)...but I perservered. The light bulb went on after about two weeks, and not only did my wrists quit hurting but my typing speed improved. I agree with you that cost should not be an issue, my Microsoft Ergo Keyboards lasted over 10 years and are still functional. Donna Dear Donna Microsoft was afraid of getting hit with class action law suits and commissioned the research and development for their Ergonomical keyboard. Because of the ridiculous pricing those didn't really catch on, but they sure protected Microsoft from lawsuits. With a reasonable price and an adjustable curvature, they would have been successful, but even as they are, they are still available for people with carpal tunnel syndrome or other wrist injuries, and who get somebody else to pay for the insane $75 - $120 price for $1.49 worth of plastic. There are some split keyboards available at reasonable cost, that are very good if somebody has a wrist injury. Up until the 80's, when there were still typing pools and fast typists, they said that a keyboard should be as wide as the typist's shoulders. Well, all the 120 wpm typists have retired, and wide keyboards are getting very scarce. Personally, I just use a wide Kensington keyboard and a slick wrist rest as high as the keyboard. That works well for me. The wrist rest is very important. A 1"x 4" board sanded and varnished works just fine, especially when sprayed with Moly mold release or furniture spray to make it nice and slick on top, and sticky drawer liner mesh underneath. You would really be surprised how that makes typing effortless and painless even after an injury. And faster too. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jill heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, "Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting." "It was postponed." he replied. "The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate won't let him attend until he finishes doing the laundry." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bag Top as Instant Twist Ties How many times have you looked for a twist tie to keep a bag closed? Well look no more. Now all you do is cut the entire top of the product bag off and use that for the twist tie. An instant twist tie right at your fingertips. By Suzzy-cue B. [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One evening after dinner, Little Johnny noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?" Dad told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" Little Johnny's father had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." Little Johnny burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," Little Johnny said. "I'm not THAT silly. Mom always says that Tupperware is the cheapest at Walmart! What are they really doing?" ___________________________________________________
five guys playing one piano
five guys playing one piano ____________________________________________________ A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to desend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. Then preacher heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?" ____________________________________________________ A young married couple lived in a cheap housing complex. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I readied my camera to be sent off for repairs, put it in the original box, wrapped and put the address label on it. However, I had to open the package up to put in the check I forgot, resealed the box and took it to the post office where I bought insurance (for a $2,000 camera) and postage and got it mailed off. Later that afternoon, one of the twins came home from school with really bad grades on a paper. I spent 30 minutes telling him how he needed to pay attention to what he was doing as most of his mistakes were from not paying attention to what he was doing or reading. After the lecture, I sent him out to play and sat down at my desk pondering how can I impress upon him the importance of paying attention to what he’s doing. As I was in the midst of my thinking, I started cleaning my desk and it was then that I noticed my camera sitting there on the desk. It was then I realized I mailed and insured an empty box. Well, that’s not quite right, there is paperwork and the $10 check in the box. Noella ____________________________________________________
History of the swastika symbol. It was used for centuries until Hitler made it a bad thing.

Today, November 19, in
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It 
 resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address 
 as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the 
 Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in 
 the Sunday New York World. 
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell. 
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a 
 vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority 
 was needed for ratification. 
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the 
 first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter 
 offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on 
 the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of 
 the unpopular Edsel. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made 
 man's second landing on the moon. 
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader 
 to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. 
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel 
 Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. 
 It was only the second known case where all seven were 
 born alive. 
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" 
 sold at auction for more than $71 million. 
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank 
 off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons 
 of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed 
 about 150 miles out to sea. 
2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.
2015  smiled.


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Keyboard slant 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 18

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Woman, who Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. --- Dr. Joyce Brothers (1928 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter. As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?" "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied. "No, I really wish you had" he sighed. "I left the tickets on it." -------- No problem nowadays with e-tickets. Just print out a new one at one of those things that look half way between R2D2 and a fire hydrant. ______________________________________________________ The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart," she sobs, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again, "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We'll get a new cat in the morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Moe for this picture: Go look at it before ISIS blows it up! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wendy Luper, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida Woman Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute Wendy Luper, 45, Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited). According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton. While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.” But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot. When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.” Seen above, Luper, who works as a housekeeper, was arrested for domestic battery. She was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond. Luper was busted in August for domestic battery after she allegedly punched Vaccaro in the face, neck, and arm after he ignored her request to do laundry. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor charge against Luper.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Keyboard slant for laptop Dear Webby, SUGGESTION FOR ANNIE WHOSE LAPTOP IS UNCOMFORTABLE. I ROLLED UP SOME RUBBERMAID SHELF LINER & TIED IT TO SECURE SHAPE WHEN I FOUND THE RIGHT HEIGHT TO PROP THE BACK END OF THE LAPTOP ONTO. GIVES IT A SLANT TO MAKE TYPING A WHOLE LOT EASIER. MAYBE SHE CAN TRY THIS TOO. BONNIE IN NH Dear Bonnie If the slant is the problem, then your suggestion is an excellent idea. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jane got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket and was pulled over for being slower than the flow of traffic." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: cocoswell.com/mangosoftserve By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Ethel is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As Ethel finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water. "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." Again Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" Ethel replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue." ___________________________________________________
- Big cats like boxes
Big cats like boxes ____________________________________________________ A local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday after that, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "Well, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. But the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures and I couldn't stop talking!" ____________________________________________________ In primitive society, when native tribes dressed up in mismatched colors that hurt the eyes, beat the ground with clubs in an embarrassing manner, and yelled and screamed in ways that hurt the ears, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Note to Self: When making vocabulary, spelling, grammar and formatting corrections to a template letter at your new job, make sure the person you are passing the updates by is not its author. Noella ____________________________________________________
A very touching story in music and memories.

Today, November 18, in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the 
 Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed 
 in England. 
1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to 
 sight the continent of Antarctica. 
1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog 
 of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the 
 New York "Saturday Press." 
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. 
1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S. 
 rights to build the Panama Canal. 
1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force 
 in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France. The 
 offensive began on July 1, 1916. 
1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon 
 premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," 
 starring Mickey Mouse. 
1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of 
 Francisco Franco. 
1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in 
 New York City's Times Square. 
1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against 
 eating meat on Fridays. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and 
 Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second 
 manned mission to the moon. 
1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established 
 a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 
1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium 
 for use in nuclear weapons. 
1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record division 
 to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided the 
 death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate in 
 approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion facilities, 
 staff and patients. 
1993 American Airlines flight attendants went on strike. They ended 
 their strike only 4 days later. 
2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in the 
 United States.
2015  smiled.


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Keyboard for laptop 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 17

Thank you, Nancy !!!

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who was arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red seas. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." --- George Carlin This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Rina, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about her and her education, but then asked her, out of the blue, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rina replied. After she left, she double-checked it on her calculator (she *knew* she should have taken it to the interview!) and realized she wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, she got a letter that said she was hired for the job! She was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, she went in and asked why she got the job,even though she got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest." ______________________________________________________ When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, no pollution, no rush hour. The women did all the work, while the men sat around and smoked pipes, and went hunting or fishing whenever anybody mentioned cleaning up the yard or fixing the teepee. Ever since then, a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Liann Gae Watson, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida woman arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes A woman in Lake County, Florida, is facing charges after she allegedly called 911 for chicken wings. Liann Gae Watson, 45, is accused of calling 911 Wednesday afternoon and telling the operator she wanted chicken wings and cigarettes, ClickOrlando.com reports. The responding officers reported that, when they showed up at Watson's home in Clermont, she said she had been drinking and was unable to drive, so she called 911 for the items, according to SouthLakePress.com. The wing-craving woman also kept asking to bum a cigarette and tried to get the deputies to drive her to get some, reports the Orlando Sentinel. Watson kept switching between hysterical laughter and hysterical crying and yelling during her conversation with police, according to the arrest report. Watson was then taken into custody on charges of misusing the 911 system. On the way to the Lake County Jail, Watson kept smacking the partition in the squad car with her head and shoulders, kicked her legs into the air and cursed and screamed, according to a police report obtained by WESH.com. The suspect was given four warnings to stop and when she didn't, she was hog-tied to prevent her from hurting herself. Watson has been charged with one count of misusing the 911 system. She was later released after posting $1,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annie Re: Keyboard for laptop Dear Webby, My laptop is really hurting my wrists. You have mentioned a few times that you lug a regular size keyboard with you even into the desert. What kind of keyboard would I need for my Acer Aspire 8735 ? Thanks Annie Dear Annie Any keypoad, that is comfortable for your hands would work. Go to any computer store and demand to try out their keyboards, not just look at the box. Some of them look very nice, but have mushy keys, that will tire you out fast. Look for a light key action, but not too light. You don't want it to start typing when you just rest fingers on the keys. Ideally, you would want a bit of initial resistance or push against your fingers, and then snap home with a "tactile click". You should get a noticeable feel of the key slamming home. That is especially important if you are reading text or numbers and typing them in without watching the screen. Just play with them until you find one you like. Don't look at the price! Your wrists are worth a lot more than the difference between the cheapest and the most expensive keyboard, especially since the difference in price is less than what a wrist bandage costs. Regarding compatibility: They all work. Wireless is of course more expensive, but unless you want to slouch on the couch and use the big TV screen as your monitor, you can usually save money by using a regular, wired keyboard. Higher quality keyboards like a Kensignton will let you type faster and will last longer. Even though they are more expensive initially, because they last much longer than no-name bargain keybolards, they wind up saving you money. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: cocoswell.com/mangosoftserve By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On the last day of class, the professor wished the students luck as he wrote a phone number on the blackboard. "If any of you have difficulty understanding the review material, call this number," he said as he dismissed the class. On Saturday afternoon, stumped by one of the review problems, Don reached for the phone and heard a recorded message, from Dial-A-Prayer. ___________________________________________________
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind?
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind? ____________________________________________________ Driving home from the store one day, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." The father countered with: "If all members of a band that plays Your style of music were playing the same song at the same time, what would they be singing about?" "They don't. If they did, it would just be boring country music!" ____________________________________________________ Daffinition: Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The reason old firehalls have circular stairways is from the days when the fire engines were pulled by horses. They kept the horses from walking up the stairs and eating the firefighters lunches while they slept. You might be wondering why they called their vehicles "engines" if they were pulled by horses. The "engine" was the steam engine powered pump. Re horses walking up stairs, did you know that horses can walk DOWN stairs too, but cows won't ? If you decide that it might be a fun graduation prank to herd some cows upstairs to the admin or even the dean's level like we did, they have to be sedated and CARRIED down the stairs. After that, sometimes the staff usually needed to be sedated too. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From DW One time about twenty years ago I was in Nashville for a brief visit to a town near there. On the way back I decided to go visit the Outback Steak House. I thought I could find it after having seen it from the air. Well, no such luck. So I asked a friendly local. "Ohh, you jess drive down this here road to where the ol firehall was, the one thet berned down a few years ago, and hang a left right there ann go up to wehre they are plannin to build a McDonalds next year. From there you could jess about see it if that big ol school was not in the way." Great! Thank you Ma'am. I went back to the hotel and cranked up MapQuest. Noella ____________________________________________________
Our nurses today think they have it rough! These ladies were really dedicated to the nursing profession!

Today, November 17, in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death 
 of Queen Mary Tudor. 
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide 
 while in jail awaiting execution. 
1800 The U.S. Congress held its first session in Washington, DC, 
 in the partially completed Capitol building. 
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean 
 and the Red seas. 
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups 
 Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 
1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from 
 Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel 
 through the Panama Canal. 
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from 
 dancing the tango. 
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 
1962 Washington's Dulles International Airport was dedicated 
 by U.S. President Kennedy. 
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled 
 vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was 
 released by Luna 17. 
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female 
 and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy 
 in Tehran. 
1982 The Empire State Building was added to the National Register 
 of Historical Places. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic 
 country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in 
 Pakistan in 11 years. 
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River 
 Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World 
 War II prisoners of war. 
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the 
 Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were 
 killed by police. 
2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first 
 time humans had trapped antimatter. 
2015  smiled.


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Problem with the video link 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 16

Thank you, Terri!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to New York robbers, who were arrested when cops followed their trail of spilled macaroni salad Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 16, in 1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who is good at making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. --- Socratex With love and patience, nothing is impossible. --- Daisaku Ikeda ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal, went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention . . ." ______________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23 Mt. Morris, New York,
3 Robbers arrested after cops follow a trail of macaroni salad Never trust the macaroni salad. It'll turn on you when you least expect it. This, after police in Mt. Morris, New York, apprehended three burglary suspects Sunday by following a trail of macaroni salad they left behind while making their getaway. In a release published Monday morning, the Livingston County Sheriff's Office reports thieves broke in and stole a cash register from Build-A-Burger Restaurant, along with the establishment's entire surveillance system and a large bowl of macaroni salad. Deputies were hot on the criminals' trail, literally, as they attempted to escape via the nearby Greenway Trail. "Found along the trail were cash register parts, surveillance system parts, rubber gloves, loose change and a steady trail of macaroni salad," the sheriff's office said. "It was later discovered that the suspects stole a large bowl of macaroni salad, which they took turns eating, along their escape route." Officers arrested Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, and Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23, by early Sunday afternoon. The three have been charged with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and fourth-degree grand larceny. Walker faces additional charges for criminal possession of a controlled substance, say police. Per the Democrat & Chronicle, the three have been booked into the Livingston County Jail. Most of the stolen property has been recovered.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Not getting Noella's Videos Dear Webby, OK, I'M BACK TO NOT GETTING NOELLA'S VIDEOS. WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING IN MY SETTINGS TO FIX THIS, ANY IDEA? BONNIE Dear Bonnie The videos worg fine even from the letter you forwarded. I will add a plain text link for you. Let me know how that works out. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys may be hurting the dog, the clergyman approached the group of boys and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we have decided that, whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie, will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback and exclaimed, "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" Then he launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know that it is a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, the Rev gets the dog. There is no way we can top that." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Squeeze Bottle for D.E. Application I found a cheap and easy way for spreading food grade diatomaceous earth. A squeeze bottle makes it easy to dust under leaves and hard to reach places to kill bugs. It works really well in the chicken coop for getting into the places any chicken lice could hide. It also works well for killing fleas in the carpet. Just buy a plastic condiments squeeze bottle, add some diatomaceous earth, and squeeze away. It has quite a range too! The one I bought was $0.80 at a local store. I like the squeeze bottles with a cap, so that it stays dry between uses. By Bella Blue [46] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a job applicant asked if the phone company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, "Oh, our employees don't need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, hiding the paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!" ___________________________________________________
Men's brains vs women's brains
Men's brains vs women's brain ____________________________________________________ "Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!" ____________________________________________________ A company in Annapolis, MD, offers tours through the historic district of the town, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" ____________________________________________________ Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" he asked. "Nothing," she answered. "Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Remember when we had to defrost our freezers? The way I did it was heat a pan of water, place it in the freezer and along with a hair dryer, start chipping at the ice with a hammer and thick knife or even a screwdriver. It went really fast. One day I was chipping away and was almost done. I loved getting that last big piece of ice out. But then I heard a funny sound – like a hiss! It kept hissing and hissing, then finally stopped. Needless to say, the next phone call was to the repair man. He probably loved people tried to do it the "easy" way. I am so, so thankful for frost-free freezers. Noella ____________________________________________________
These ski masks are wild!

Today, November 16, in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the 
 American Revolution. 
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle 
 patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established 
 diplomatic relations for the first time. 
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football 
 for Charlie Brown. 
1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial 
 of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with 
 massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in 
 Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. 
 That pipeline is still working fine.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been 
 developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of 
 HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic 
 "sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident 
 from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for 
 almost 18 years. 
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, 
 aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a 
 carefully selected group of teachers and students. 
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal 
 for the North American rights to a book about her affair 
 with U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file 
 discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor 
 contracts require arbitration. 
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was 
 shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her 
 wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 
 of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to 
 visit Communist Vietnam. 
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly 
 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 
2015  smiled.


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Free malwarebytes did the trick 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 15

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chicago woman, who was arrested for Denny's pancake rage Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 15, in 1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people. --- Arthur Schopenhauer Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. --- Orson Welles ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's great!" he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Betty-Sue has her own room. WE can have fun! But poor dad is still stuck in with mom." ______________________________________________________ A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ' Take fifty cents worth of ground beef '..." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this one: This one bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Natasha West 27, Oak Lawn, Chicago, Illinois
Chicago woman, who was arrested for Denny's pancake rage Natasha West, 27, is facing assault and property damage charges after becoming unhinged when a Denny’s waitress explained that she was not allowed to share her $4 all-you-can-eat pancake special with her friends. West was dining Friday at a Denny’s in Oak Lawn, a Chicago suburb, when a server explained that the unlimited pancake offer was good for a single diner. This did not sit well with West, who claimed that she was apparently was under the impression that her $4 bought everyone at the table an unending pancake bounty. According to the Oak Lawn Police Department, West cursed at the waitress and threw several punches at the employee (though the blows did not land). West and her party then left Denny’s without paying their tab, but not before she repeatedly kicked a door on the way out. Pictured above, West was subsequently collared after Denny’s workers gave police a description of the car in which she and her pals fled. West was charged with assault and damage to property. One of West’s friends, Jerome Ivory, 31, was busted for providing police with false identification.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Finally got Malwarebytes Dear Webby, Finally got Maleware Bytes downloaded and ran it. Found lots and lots of PUP's and one bad thing, but it wasn't that browser.e thing I wrote you about. Got rid of everything. Had lots of 'sharing' going on. Hope this took care of it. I remember Maleware bytes being free and all the time. This is only for 14 days trial. When did it change? Thanks for recommending this as I couldn't be sure superanti to work correctly, but will try to run it again when I restart my machine and will definitely run Maleware again befor the trial period is over Wendy Dear Wendy There is more to live than being a fanatic about free stuff. You should have learned that by now. All the stuff Malwarebytes cleaned out, had been attached to supposedly free stuff. Save your couch coins and by month end you can afford to buy MalWareBytes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing Creamer Bottles with New Lids I go through the local recycling center at my mobile home park. I do this for two reasons. One is because people just don't read the numbers in the triangle and toss in those plastics we can't recycle in Douglas County anymore. The other is to save coffee and creamer containers, and all others that I can use for food storage. Once washed, they are perfect for keeping critters out. So today's tip is that sometimes, you can still use something even though the lid is missing. I find these creamer bottles without the tops and replace them with juice container lids. Still useful, clear and ready to fill with things like: rice beans soup mixes pasta candies staples like flour or pancake mixes and more I love the fact that they are clear and easy to see. I hope this helps! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [451] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "That's a really beautiful fur coat," a friend remarked, "but don't you pity the poor beast who suffered so that you might have it?" The women replied, "Why are you suddenly worried about my husband?" ___________________________________________________
big boy toys
____________________________________________________ Gene took his beat-up pickup truck to the insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection. The receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. Then she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Gene replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Gene. "Hmmm," she explained, "the computer won't accept Ford Fossil." ____________________________________________________ Overheard.... Women don't need conventional tools around the house, we'll use anything that's handy. But when pounding a nail, don't use a shoe - shoes cost $40 a pair. A package of frozen hamburgers costs $3 and you are a lot less likely to miss the nail and whack your hand. Use the hamburger. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Back in the '70s I had a part-time job working in ER for Barnes Hospital in St. Louis. After a few months they transferred me to McMillan ER where ENTs were handled (Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat). It wasn't as busy, so I was pretty much by myself when a patient came. My job was to take them upstairs to the doctor. There was no triage there at that time. Most of our cases were either a sore throat or something stuck in their eye. One night a sore throat came in, I filled out the paperwork and just as I got ready to take them upstairs, I guy came in holding his eye. I told him I would be back shortly, he nodded okay. A few minutes later, I returned and the man was gone. I soon found out why. He'd gotten up to get a drink of water and fainted. Someone found him and it turned out he actually had been shot in the eye. I just hoped my apology and flowers the next day helped. Noella ____________________________________________________ Stay away from these hybrids!

Today, November 15, in
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of Confederation
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became known 
 as Pikes Peak. 
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their 
 "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 
1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 
1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 
1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under 
 peacetime conscription. 
1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. 
 On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned spacecraft to reach 
 the surface of another planet when it crashed on Venus. 
1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts 
 James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely 
 in the Atlantic Ocean. 
1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million Democrat protesters 
 staged a demonstration against the Vietnam War. 
1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an official 
 consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 
1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene 
 Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to 
 Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was 
 pardoned a month later. 
1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on Wall 
 Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock trading. 
 It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC. 
1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career. 
1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six months 
 in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was serving a 
 prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 
1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a 
 race-discrimination lawsuit. 
1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a major 
 trade agreement that involved China's membership in the World Trade 
 Organization (WTO). 
2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los Angeles 
 police department were convicted on several counts of conspiracy to 
 obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted. The case was the 
 first major case against the anti-gang unit. 
2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong 
 sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange Marilyn" sold 
 for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for $15.6 million.
2015  smiled.


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What to do with old computer with blank screen 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 14

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Notorious Subway Joy-Rider, who was arrested after he stole a NJ Bus Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats." --- Howard Aiken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone." ______________________________________________________ Lu, China ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darius McCollum, 49, New York, NY
Notorious Subway Joy-Rider was arrested after he stole a NJ Bus Police say a man with a long history of pretending to be a transit worker and commandeering New York City subway trains for joy rides has been arrested after stealing a commercial passenger bus from New Jersey. The New York Police Department says Darius McCollum was arrested Wednesday by officers who spotted the bus traveling down a street in Brooklyn. McCollum has 29 transit-related arrests, starting in 1981, when he drove the E train to the World Trade Center at the age of 15. Usually he just steals subway trains, but seems to have switched to buses now. In 2008, he was arrested for stealing a Trailways bus from Hoboken, New Jersey. McCollum is being held at a police station in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Yolanda Re: Blank screen on old computer Dear Webby, I hope you can help me.Ā Last Saturday I tried to turn on my computer. The power button lit up and couple of other buttons did as well.Ā The wifi button stayed off. There is no sound and has a blank screen. I have tried to unplug from power source and remove the battery and hold down the power button. I bought it used 2 years ago, so is it worth fixing or just scrap it? I'd appreciate your help and advice. Thank you very much. Yolanda Dear Yolanda That isn't enough information to recommend any way to fix the problem. However, without sound or a working screen, it would probably cost more to fix it than it is worth. Time to shop for a replacement. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, we took a vote... and they're in favor of it, 15 to 2." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Foil and Waxed Paper Boxes I found this idea on Pinterest or here (not sure where, sorry!) It stated that if you get a wire mesh document holder from the Dollar stores, they work great for those boxes you have to roll things out of. I found one in blue for .25 at a thrift store and did just that. It's perfect for 4-5 boxes of foil, wax paper, baggies and more. N-JOY! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [450] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young woman, a military dependant, came into the dental clinic with a problem tooth. She had several children and appeared to be quite ready to give birth to another one at almost any moment. It was necessary to use X-rays to locate the source of her problem, so she was conducted to the dental unit with an X-ray machine, and her husband followed. The X-ray technician was lining up the cone of the machine preparatory to making the first exposure, when he noticed that the young woman's husband was standing beyond her, but in a position where he would receive some radiation after it passed through her teeth. Being well trained, the technician stopped and asked the fellow to move to a safer position. "Sir, please step over there. Too much of this radiation will make you sterile." A broad smile appeared on the young woman's face, her eyes grew wide with excitement, and she clapped her hands while saying, "Joe, come here, hold my hand!" ___________________________________________________
All about that bass (eye candy for the guys)
____________________________________________________ A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art and the best I could find." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty." ____________________________________________________ A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Being a member of a small church with its own Bible school many people came and went. It was my duty to keep the church phone list updated. I was shy so this forced me to approach new people and get information from them. I was also single, and any new guys were prospects. A cute redheaded guy started coming and I thought, “I like this job, now I can get his phone number” - you know, for emergencies. I didn’t want to ask him directly because I was afraid he might not understand and think me too forward. I knew through the grapevine that he was staying with another family, and when I asked they told me his name and mentioned that he had just moved down the street. Since several of our members lived on that street, I queried several of them, none of whom knew his number. Finally I approached him and mentioned that I needed his phone number for our church directory and mentioned that I’d asked several others but no one seemed to know. His reply had me wondering myself, “Well, why didn’t you call ‘Information’?” Noella ____________________________________________________
Pedal faster girls!

Today, November 13, in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City, 
  NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people. 
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the 
 Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new 
 constitution was approved.
1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most 
 of the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe 
 bombers attacked. 
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 
1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 
1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL. 
1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur 
 Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the 
 first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 
1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 
1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the 
 United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the 
 taking of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise 
 missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid 
 protests. 
1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down 
 in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 
1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, 
 closing national parks and museums while most government 
 offices operated with skeleton crews. 
2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app 
 for smartphones.
2015  smiled.


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Does Malwarebytes clash? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Friday, the 13th ! 
be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding after a car chase. now she's really in doghouse Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. --- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Myranda Skinner, 28, FRANKFORT, KY
Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding -- now she's really in doghouse A Kentucky woman faces charges after authorities say they found her hiding in an empty doghouse after a dangerous pursuit. Frankfort police tell local media that 28-year-old Myranda Skinner and 36-year-old Bryan Wells led officers on a chase Monday morning after an officer noticed a license plate that had been reported stolen. Authorities say Skinner, the driver, tried to run over an officer when the suspects' vehicle was briefly stuck at a dead-end road. Police say the pursuit led to the car crashing through a gate at a golf course, with the suspects fleeing on foot. A K-9 unit found Wells inside the bed of a truck and Skinner, of Lexington, in the doghouse. The suspects were indicted Tuesday on numerous charges, including fleeing police.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Superantispyware clash? Dear Webby, I have superantispyware on my computer. is it ok to download and use maleware bytes ? Wendy Dear Wendy Yes, sure. won't clash with it. Just beware of copycat sites with fake versions. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna!" ----------- Smart girl! They learn how to spread long before they learn how to cook a decent lasagna. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Too Much Cream Pushed out of Tube If you accidentally squeeze too much out of a tube, you can get it back in. Put the cap back on the tube. Squeeze the tube with the cap on. Remove the cap. The excess contents will be back in the tube! If you squeezed out a huge amount, you may have to repeat the process, but it will all go back in. By Judy [25] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Bob what the problem is. "Well," said Bob, "I ran afoul of one of those women's questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble." "What kind of question?, asked Tom. "My wife asked me in her longwinded and complicated and confusing way, if I would still love her if she was old and fat." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah", said Bob, "That's what I did, except I was confused by the longwinded question and mixed up the tenses and said 'Of course I do.'" ___________________________________________________
- the horse won't let him go
____________________________________________________ While on board a Navy carrier, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes." ____________________________________________________ That reminds me.... About ten years ago Julie, one of my clients, was doing web design on the side to help get her Micro-Fiber wholesale business off the ground. One of her design clients was some woman who claimed to be a psychic and fortune teller. To make a long story short, that woman's psychic abilities were so poor, she could not even fortell that Julie would insist on getting paid for her work, and that Julie has friends. I used a dialectizer program to translate the psychics web site into Elmer Fudd style. Then Julie uploaded that to the psychic's site and changed the password. After that, of course, it was written in the stars and quite predictable, that the psychic woman would pay up quickly. After she found out that her fuming and threatening just made Julie laugh even harder, she did pay up! Here are some examples of how a dialectizer works. I'll take a quote and translate it: "A little madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King." --- Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) ================================= "A widdle madness in the Spwing Is whowesome even fow de King." -- Emiwy Dickinson (1830-1886) Elmer Fudd is just one of the many dialects that can be selected. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Shortly after my first marriage, we had an elderly couple from our church over for home roasted barbecued chicken. While the chicken finished roasting, I tended to a few other things on top of the stove. I set the table and eventually dinner was ready; everyone sat down to eat as I set out the last of the food - the barbecued chicken. To my dismay, it wasn't just charred barbecue, it was burnt to a crisp. Apparently since the oven's knobs were about waist high on the front of the stove I must have leaned up against them and turned up the heat while doing something else. My elderly guest wryly remarked that he thought burnt offerings stopped when Jesus died on the cross. You do NOT want me in the kitchen! Noella ____________________________________________________

Today, November 13, in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 
1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, 
 "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, 
 except death and taxes." 
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe 
 and called it the "frankfurter." We now know it as the "Wiener".
1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between 
 New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 
1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering 
 the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial 
 segregation on public buses. 
1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to 
 orbit another planet, Mars. 
1977 The comic strip "Li'l Abner" by Al Capp appeared in newspapers 
 for the last time. 
1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 
1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense 
 Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the 
 U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He 
 denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that 
 they had been sent to improve relations. 
1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 
1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S. citizens. 
1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the 
 North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. 
 President Bill Clinton. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that 
 would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured 
 with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States 
 on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II 
 that a president had taken such action. 
2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for 
 $1.65 million in Google stock. 
2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The 
 discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar 
 Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 
2015  smiled.


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No browsers working anymore on VISTA 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 12

Thanks Joseph!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY man for leading cops on a 100 mph chase Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 12, in 1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of the garment that is named after him. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em, then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development. --- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" ______________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea! That would make a huge difference to your life and is just what you need. Sure, I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for you." ______________________________________________________ Fast moon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Indiana Z. Jones, 21, Rushville, N.Y.
NY Indiana Jones Leads Cops On 100 MPH Chase A man named Indiana Z. Jones is accused of leading deputies in Yates County, New York, on a chase that reached upwards of 100 mph, according to the Associated Press. Authorities said the wild ride began Sunday evening when Jones tried to evade a traffic stop in his hometown of Rushville, according to MyTwinTiers.com. The alleged "temple of zoom" lasted six minutes and reached 100 mph before deputies deployed stop sticks in Benton that punctured the tires of Jones' 2002 Audi A6, according to the Elmira Star Gazette. Jones was charged with unlawfully fleeing a police officer, reckless operation, speeding and having an unregistered, uninsured and uninspected vehicle, according to UPI.com. He was later released on $1.000 bond. No attempt was made to reach Harrison Ford for comment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Browser not working on VISTA Dear Webby, I have an older HP computer running Vista, For the past two days, I have been unable to access the internet, I've run CrapCleaner and it shows that Firefox is running but nothing is showing on the monitor. I can "force close" it on CCleaner but when I go to turn it on, NOTHING ! Internet Explorer is on the machine but that doesn't work, either, so I am hesitant to uninstall FireFox and then try to reinstall it. I know it's an old computer and I am holding off buying a new one. Until now it has been satisfactory for my needs. Any suggestions???? I have a 3 Year old Toshiba laptop running Windows 7 which accesses FireFox and the internet so I am not without Facebook but I do miss a lot of my other programs. Many thanks for any advice tom Dear Tom Vista was never any good or very secure, but Microsoft still supports it. Considering how many Million XP computers are still working fine, the problem is not the choice of operating systems, no matter what the computer peddlers tell you. It seems your Vista computer is infected. Run Malwarebytes. http://webby.com/malwarebytes Once your infection has been fixed, FireFox should work again. You might have to update FireFox, but no need to uninstall it. You might have to download Malwarebytes on the Toshiba and copy it over to the HP via local network. To see if you have Internet access, or a modem / cable problem, click on START type cmd and hit ENTER in the DOS style screen that pops up,type tracert webby.com If you have a proper Internet connection, it will trace the route from you to Webby.com. You can, of course, also try any other domain, that you think should be up and running. If you don't get a trace route, check your cables. Have FUN! DearWebby DearWebby Ran Malwarebytes and it appears to have done the "trick'. FireFox is up and running as are all my other internet programs. Seems like there were problems in the registry which were corrected by Malwarebytes. Many thanks for your advice. Hope all is well with you physically, Obviously, mentally you are still functioning at the top of your game. tom :-) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Sharpie from Faux Leather I was able to remove Sharpie permanent marker from faux leather using WD-40. It came off super easy and didn't damage the finish. Good luck. By HARISN9000 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!" ___________________________________________________
Graphics - making of a TV series
____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, nine dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ____________________________________________________ While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders When I was new in the work force, I was told that because I had not yet worked a month, I would not get Veterans Day. OK, fine, no big deal. So I showed up at the usual time, and found that the entrance was locked up. I knew, however, that the back door by the dumpster was rather sloppy, and one of the girls, who had locked herself out accidentally when emptying her garbage, got back in by using her credit card. So I figured I would try that, but found the door was not really locked. So I went to my station, tunred on the lights and started working. About two hours later the big boss and four cops showed up and asked me what the heck I was doing. It was a lot funnier for them than for me, but I did not get in trouble. The boss explained things for me, and gave me a Twenty for my work, and then they escorted me out. Noella ____________________________________________________
What a fantasy land of photos.

Today, November 12, in
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor 
 shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard 
 at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of 
 the garment that is named after him. 
1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent republics. 
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet Union. 
 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading to 
 Stalin coming to power. 
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was played. 
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began 
 between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major 
 victory. 
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was 
 sunk off the coast of Norway. 
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange 
 National Bank in Chicago, IL. 
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki 
 Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking out 
 home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor, 
 closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since 1892. 
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 
1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first NFL 
 head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons. 
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from 
 Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of 
 Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Brezhnev
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared 
 the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in 
 prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A. 
 Walker Jr. 
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement that 
 said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat someone solely 
 because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum Throne. 
1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director. 
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock with 
 the Russian space station Mir. 
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death in 
 Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for 
 constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993 bombing 
 of the World Trade Center. 
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form 
 Daimler-Chrysler AG. 
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take 
 off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed into 
 the Rockaway Beach part of Queens. All 260 people aboard killed. 
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the Kabul, 
 Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance at this 
 point was reported to have control over most of the northern areas 
 of Afghanistan. 
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc. 
 that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of dollars 
 in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man." Lee was 
 the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade Center 
 was the tallest building in the United States. The height was measured 
 at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth tallest building in 
 the world at the time. 
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with the 
 U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that would create 
 the world's largest airline. 
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian military 
 equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen entering Ukraine in 
 convoys over several days. 
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its lander Philae 
 to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The comet was 
 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 
2015  smiled.


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How to back up OneTab 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 11
Remebrance Day
Veterans Day


Pittance of time at 11:00 am

Also see Barb's Bonus Link near the bottom.


Thanks Gene!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 11, in 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) "A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's." --- Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you done a good job, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven." ______________________________________________________ A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!" ______________________________________________________ Anthem, Arizona today at 11:11 am ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Megan Smith, 27, Bradenton, Florida
Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper A woman clobbered her live-in boyfriend in the face with a “pooper scooper” during an early-morning confrontation in their apartment, according to Florida cops. Megan Smith, 27, was arrested for battery around 5 AM Monday when an argument about “living arrangements” with victim Alexander Buck allegedly “turned physical.” Police charge that Smith “picked up a pooper scooper and hit the victim in the face with it multiple times.” The pooper scooper strikes knocked Buck’s glasses off his face and left him with “multiple abrasions to his left eyebrow and forehead.” Buck, who fled the couple’s Bradenton home and called 911, subsequently declined treatment from an EMS team dispatched to the residence. During police questioning, Smith reportedly copped to striking Buck with the scooper, which is used to handle cat litter. “She stated she hit him because the victim would not stop arguing with her,” an investigator noted. Smith, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was released yesterday from the county jail after posting $500 bond. She is scheduled for an October 15 arraignment on the misdemeanor charge.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wanda Re: Back up OneTab Dear Webby, You recommended OneTab. I like it and have used it since you recommended it. Big question is, how do I back it up so that I can move it to my next computer? Thanks Wanda Dear Wanda Open OneTab. On the right top you have some menu items. The third one is Export / Import URLs Click on that. You see a list of all the URLS in text format. Click in the middle of that text stuff, hit CTRL A to highlight the text Jump to a new text document in NoteTab or WordPad or whater you use for plain text. Click into that and hit CTRL V That pastes it. Save it as Onetab11-11-2015, or whatever the date is on your planet. That's all there is to it. Eventually you have a log of diback-ups from different dates. Importing onto a different computer is just as easy. Select IMPORT instead of Export copy the list of URLs from the backup you want, and paste it. You can't browse to it, but you'll get the hang quickly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A trainee for the New York Police Department, was asked the following hypothetical question: "If your beat was a lonely path in Central Park, and a beautiful young girl rushed up to you and declared that a strange man had suddenly grabbed her, and hugged and kissed her, what would you do?" The police-officer-in-training replied without hesitation, "I would endeavor to reconstruct the crime." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Flatware Scuffs on Porcelain Dishes My husband is a heavy stirrer and our everyday porcelain dishes were showing flatware scuffing. I tried the Weiman's Stove Top Cleaner. Rubbing with a damp paper towel, this is the cleaning results from a moderate swiping motion. I did half of the bowl for comparison purposes. By Myrna [16] Weimans Stove Top Cleaner is like the Barman's Friend cleaner on Turbo. You just wipe it onto the stovetop or porcellain with a yello-green scouring pad, and rinse after a minute or two. Done. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon." The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your." Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your...(-and after a stern look from the priest-) I mean OUR hedge needs to be trimmed." The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in an uproar of cleaning, and decorating. On the day the bishop arrived, while the priest was greeting the bishop in front of the church, the same nun came running down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!" The priest, annoyed at the interruption, gave her another one of his "stern looks". "Why yes, Father, Sorry. I found it under OUR bed." ___________________________________________________
Armistice Day 1918
____________________________________________________ The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ____________________________________________________ A cute young secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. And she enjoyed showing off. One afternoon her boss motioned her into his office and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you might want to tone down the advertising during working hours." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Did you ever get really angry on the phone, go off on a tirade and angrily slam the phone down only to have it ring again five seconds later? Thinking it's the same person, I started the yelling again - Ooops, now I've got to apologize to my friend. Noella ____________________________________________________
Antem memorial
They don't have a live camera. If you want to see that, you will have to go and visit. Anthem is just 25 miles north of the Phoenix airport. Just take the I-17, head north about 25 miles, and when you get there, hang a right at West Daisy Mountain, and a left at the first divided road: North Gavilan Peak Parkway. At north Venture drive hang a right and immediat left. There is parking there. Even if you can't make it there for November 11, it is still v ery impressive to see at any time of the year. DearWebby

Today, November 11, in
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged 
 in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 
1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 
1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the 
 New York Athletic Club. 
1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at 
 the Melbourne jail at age 25. 
1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted 
 of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed 
 an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the 
 United States. 
1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 
1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster 
 Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording 
 process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 
1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery 
 in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 
1940 The Jeep made its debut. 
1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 
1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and 
 Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 
1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. 
 The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 
1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled 
 the Earth 59 times before returning. 
1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South 
 Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the 
 Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 
1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 
1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock 
 Center in Chicago in about six hours. 
1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in 
 Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 
1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at age 84. 
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial 
 as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 
1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in 
 Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 
1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the 
 second largest computer company. 
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million 
 dollars in New York. 
1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on 
 the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the 
 deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life 
 in prison. 
1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant recipient, 
 died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 
1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help 
 the nation arrange democratic elections. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that 
 Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were 
 "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country 
 voluntarily. 
1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 
1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor 
 the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 
1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli 
 military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 
1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." 
 The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would 
 tour communities throughout the United States. 
1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 
 10,000 employees. 
1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the 
 Palestinians. 
2015  smiled.


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What to do if Skype messed up your mug shot? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 10, in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. --- Aesop Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity teach him. --- Ethiopian Proverb ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower: Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1." Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!" There was a brief moment of silence. First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!" ______________________________________________________ Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, Dear," he said. "Of course, Tim," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry Lawrence." "But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said. With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!" ______________________________________________________ Tougher than hockey ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Tanzer, 26, Palm Harbor, Florida
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma A Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the ground Saturday night after he was denied "her debit card, which he needed to buy cake,” police allege. Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly victim during a dispute inside her residence in Palm Harbor, a community about 25 miles west of Tampa. According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground “in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands and hip. Tanzer was allegedly angry that his grandmother “took away her debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and caused Bliss to fall on her hip.” The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by Bliss, who did require medical treatment. Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person 65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with his grandmother.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Adele Re: Skype picture messed up Dear Webby, All of a sudden my Skype picture got changed. Instead of a carefully selected picture it nhow shows me with curlers and green mudpack. Terrible! How do I get my picture back? Adele Dear Adele Your 1976 glamor shot is gone. You will not get that back. You have two options now: Use Skype and take a new picture, like your already famous rhino with green mud-pack picture, or browse for an acceptable one. A lot of people use a picture of their daughters or grand daughters. Some use a snapshot harvested at the mall. It is entirely up to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Jean A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The doctor asks "what's the problem?" The woman says, "doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." The doctor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says, "doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?" The doctor says, "the water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Alternative to Wet Wipes Since the thick cloth Wet Wipes are expensive and not good for a septic system, I always keep a small spray bottle with some water in it within a spare toilet roll next to my toilet. You could even add one tiny drop off liquid soap and/or essential oil if desired. Just spritz the tissue you are going to use and wipe! It's great for an extra clean wipe up from the young to non so young! By Donna [294] Those cheap 8" x 8" Microfiber samples work even better. They don't tear, and can be washed and line dried. Their cleaning ability is a thousand times better. Ketchup from a white rug? No problem. Ball point pen from aunt Louises's blouse? No problem. Buy a box. Visitors are going to borrow them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. It was the hardest spelling test he ever took. ___________________________________________________
GoPro falls into pit of rattlesnakes (the guys are going to love this one)
____________________________________________________ At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress there. All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in. They observed the connection between the waitress and the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive remarks trying to get the trucker to start something. But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill and walked out. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like your boyfriend ain't much of a man." The waitress just leaned on the cash register and looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over three bikes out there." ____________________________________________________ Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure me and my rolling pin would be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I used to love shopping downtown at the large department stores, you know the ones, where ladies' clothing is on one floor, men's on another, fine dining on another, etc. There's usually 9-10 floors of shopping. I miss those days. Anyway, one day while shopping, I was walking along, not paying any attention to where I was going and I ran into someone. I immediately started apologizing. I stepped back to get out of their way, and to my dismay, it wasn’t a person, it wasn’t even a manikin, it was a large round supporting post. Do you know how you feel when you're apologizing to the supporting post of a building? Noella ____________________________________________________
Well, this is different.

Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of 
 the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The 
 Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. 
 This day is observed as the birth date of the United States 
 Marine Corps. 
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in 
 central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when 
 Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart 
 in Alameda, CA. 
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that 
 equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in 
 December of 1991. 
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 
 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be 
 executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was 
 put to death the following January. 
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped 
 in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the 
 cab fare. 
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack 
 at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be 
 the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was 
 cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital 
 sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. 
 Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her 
 husband. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, 
 which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing 
 the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following 
 week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action 
 would end trade sanctions. 
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa 
 along with several other anti-government activists. 
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a 
 massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 
 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was 
 the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two 
 CIA employees in 1993. 
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder 
 conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to 
 time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old 
 Matthew Eappen. 
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) 
 was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall 
 through the Internet. 
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 
2015  smiled.


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Which browser is better? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 9

Members of the city council in Iowa City, Iowa voted Monday 
to remove a veterans memorial that included a cross from 
a local park, and in turn, members of the community voted 
on Tuesday to remove those council members from office.

”We warned them multiple times if they let our town down. 
they WILL be voted out,” Allison Schmitz of Stop the Insanity 
posted online this week. “They didn’t listen, and look, 
the people have SPOKEN!”

The Mudslims haven't got a chance there, any more than to get
the crosses be to removed from Arlington.

Kudos to the people of Iowa !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with pumpkin carving knife Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 9, in 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a U.S. president. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Watch out for the fellow who talks about putting things in order! Putting things in order always means getting other people under your control. --- Denis Diderot (1713 - 1784) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Redneck Dickschonairy: Myth: Lesbian Moth ______________________________________________________ A granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with Nancy, and she decided to teach her to sew. After she had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, the granddaughter stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief: "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: That is Ship Island outside Gulfport, Mississippi ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Buford Boone, Dallas, Texas
Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with pumpkin carving knife A Dallas-area father carving jack-o-lanterns with his 7-year-old daughter for Halloween stabbed a suspected car thief with a knife after the alleged criminal broke into their home, police said on Wednesday. The suspect stole a car from a nearby gas station on Tuesday evening, crashed it and then ran into a neighborhood to try to elude officers, said police in Arlington, west of Dallas. Brian Hackney told the local NBC TV affiliate he was carving pumpkins with his daughter when the suspect ran into his home and began rifling through his wife's purse. Hackney said he had a knife readily in hand, confronted the intruder and stabbed him in the back. A neighbor called the 911 emergency line while Hackney held down the intruder until police arrived. "I just went into protection mode," Hackney told the television station. "Ladies say 'mama bear,' but it was 'papa bear' here." The father and daughter were not injured in the incident. The suspect was taken to a local hospital for treatment, police said. The suspect, identified as Buford Boone, has been charged with car theft and robbery. No lawyer was listed on his arrest report. To avoid racial profiling there is no mug shot.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ingrid Re: Which browser is better? Dear Webby, I have frequent "Browser is not responding" errors. I won't use IE for security reasons, just FF and Chrome. Which one is better, or what shoul I do? Ingrid Dear ingrid Yes. Between FF and Chrome, it is like with political parties. Each one is worse than the other. Both of those browsers have frequent updates and they are quite dilligent in removing security hazards, and they are even more dilligent in copying whatever new gimmick the other one came up with. We are getting to the point where FF and Chrome are just as badly overloaded as IE, where we need a totally new browser. There is no point switching back and forth betweem them. Pick whicever one is most comfortable for you, and get used to it's peculiarities. Get ONE-TAB, an add on for the browser. It is similar to Bookmarks, but easier to find recently one-tabbed items. With it you can reduce the number of tabs quite efficiently and easily resurract them. Naturally, the fewer open tabs you have, the faster your browser will run Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ There were 2 Irishmen walking along looking for jobs, when they came across a sign saying: TREE FELLERS WANTED. "Ohhh, to be sure, too be sure!" said one. "What a shame there are only the too of us!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Scents from Your Home I am chemical sensitive to perfumes, cigarettes, gasoline, etc. Sometimes we have guests come over with high perfume scents and when they leave the scent does not. Other situations would be: purchasing used furniture that has old moldy scent or cigarette/cigar smoke odor. One thing that seems to work the best for me is to use coffee grounds. You can purchase the cheapest coffee for this so it's an inexpensive trick. You just put the grounds in a brown paper bag or staple them up in coffee filters or for a little more money/convenience you can purchase the pre-packed coffee filters. Then you just set them around where the odors are. It can take a day or so to remove the odor completely, but in most cases you can at least handle the area within a short period of time. I hope this trick help many of you out. By Bergster417 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I ran into his wheelchair with the car." ___________________________________________________
trucks meet on hairpin curve
____________________________________________________ A Guy and his wife are riding two up on a bike along a twisty road with a 55MPH limit. A cop pulls them over. "Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the cop. "Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up someone else or something, but my speedometer was set right on 55." The wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you 20 miles back you were going to get stopped if you didn't slow down." "Quiet please!" mumbles the guy. "Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop. "Sure, my card is right here in my wallet." The wife says, "That card's no good and you know it. You haven't paid the last premium and the company sent you a cancellation notice." "Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut up for a minute?" "Ma'am," says the cop. "Does this guy always talk to you like this?" "Only when he's been drinking." ____________________________________________________ A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pup for her birthday. An hour later, while wandering through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen floor. her comment was: "My pup runneth over." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From Ed So my wife and I stayed at the Crescent Hotel high on the hill in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We chose that venue because it's supposed to be haunted. Most evenings, the guests are either exploring the hotel for the dearly departed or are taking the weekend ghost tour again hoping to encounter a ghost. Truth be told, we booked lodging there for the same reason. With all this talk about ghosts in mind, we retired for the evening. Now I'm an older guy and relieving myself several times during the night had become much more commonplace than it was in my younger years. I was hoping that one good scare might have me evacuating my bladder enough to get me a modicum of uninterrupted sleep. I knew better but hope springs eternal. As expected, during the midnight hours I paid John a visit and turned to go back to bed. It was then that I actually saw a ghost! I screamed and stood there in fear not moving a muscle. A few minutes passed when I noticed that the ghost didn't move unless I did. It was at that point that I realized I was staring at myself in the door mirror. Noella ____________________________________________________
I had no idea most of these strange animals existed!

Today, November 9, in
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see 
 the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip 
 by a U.S. president. 
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent 
 on neon advertising signs. 
1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. 
 He then fled to the Netherlands. 
1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops 
 that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the 
 evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall 
full of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other 
 labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 
1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500 
 Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and 
 rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became 
 known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 
1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world 
 record speed of 4,093 mph. 
1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated 
 its "caucasians only" rule. 
1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust 
 explosion. 
1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 
1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states 
 and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures 
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 
1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft 
 blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 
1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions condemning 
 the apartheid government in South Africa. 
1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon 
 Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants, 
 mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 
1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid 
 Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also 
 involved in the operation. 
1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
 to India. It was the highest loan to date. 
1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came 
 out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing 
 commentator for NBC. 
1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick Hart, 
 was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in 
 Washington, DC. 
1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens 
 to travel freely to West Germany. 
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-aggression 
 treaty with Germany. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed for 
 assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked British 
 businesses to invest. 
1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust 
 settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered 
 to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging 
 of Nasdaq stocks. 
2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania Avenue 
in front of the White House to pedestrians.
2015  smiled.


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Thesaurus 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 8



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Arkansas mother, who was arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 8, in 1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities. --- Henry James (1843 - 1916) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened. ______________________________________________________ Patient: "Nurse, during my operation I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much." Nurse: "What word was that?" Patient: "Oops!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lori Sheppard, 28,Mt. Holly, Arkansas
Arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle NOVEMBER 6--When her teething infant son would not stop crying, an Arkansas woman called her mother and was told to rub some alcohol on the child’s painful gums. Instead, cops charge, Lori Sheppard, 28, put bourbon in her 10-month-old son’s bottle, leading to the infant’s hospitalization and her arrest for child endangerment and aggravated assault. Sheppard’s son Ronald was rushed last week to a hospital emergency room after he was found “limp and unresponsive.” Sheppard initially told cops that the child “was fine before she placed him in his playpen” inside the family’s trailer home in Mt. Holly, a community about 125 miles south of Little Rock. Sheppard claimed that when she briefly left the trailer, her five-year-old stepbrother went inside. When she returned to the home, Sheppard said she found Ronald “unconscious and unresponsive.” During police questioning, Sheppard initially denied giving the baby alcohol (the child’s father told police that there was “a 5th of bourbon in the freezer at the trailer”). But, cops say, she eventually confessed to putting booze in Ronald’s bottle. Sheppard told investigators that when Tylenol and Motrin did not relieve the infant’s discomfort, she sought advice from her mother, who suggested rubbing alcohol on Ronald’s gums. The child, who was airlifted to Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock, had a blood alcohol content of .19, according to a Union County Sheriff’s Office report. After several days of treatment, the boy was discharged into the custody of child welfare workers. Pictured above in an unfortunate message t-shirt, Sheppard was booked into jail on the felony charges. A judge set her bond at $10,000
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to your mother, what would she have? Little Johnny: A heart attack! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Coffee Without a Coffeemaker A week ago, I broke our carafe to our coffee maker. My husband and I had already gone shopping so we had a full can of coffee. We were out of instant coffee, which made this an emergency, at least for me! My husband to the rescue. He made his own instant pouch using a coffee filter, twist tie and boiling water. Here are the instructions. Take 2 teaspoon per (8 oz.)cup of coffee. Add this to a coffee filter. Tie filter with twist tie or string. Drop filter into a pot of boiling water (16 oz. of water) Let coffee and filter simmer in hot water to desired color. The darker the stronger your coffee will taste. It's like boiling a tea bag in a pot of water. Sorry about my pic of my coffee, I also spilled non-dairy coffee creamer. No matter, I just did not feel like getting up to take a better pic, but I did enjoy my cup of coffee. By Georgetta Ruth [73] When I was living in the bush in the Yukon I rigged a coil of 3/8" copper tubing into the s tove pipe of the "kitchen stove" just outside the tent. The inside airtight was not used in summer. The copper pipe came out of the stove pipe high enough to neatly drip into a Melitta (Cone filter) sitting on top of a one gallon blue enamel coffee pot. The water for the water heater came from the high tank hanging up high inside the 12' x 16' tent. That made beautiful coffee for years until I finished building the new house. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland to grow vegetables. You might want to stop eating until the dogooders sort this out. ___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________ Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush, "Our regular drummer slept in." >From Barb ____________________________________________________ *Last night I was driving home and listening to a sports call-in program, carried by WGN in Chicago on SIRIUS. People were calling in, very upset, about the goat's head that was sent to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts at Wrigley Field.* *Then some guy called in from Indiana and said, "Why are you people so upset 'cause someone sent a goat's head to Wrigley Field? Aren't you Chicagoans the same guys that sent a horse's ass to the White House?" * *I had to pull over!* ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Not my blunder but by someone I knew well. As a truck driver, I have to be careful to pace myself for bathroom stops. It happened one day that my body wasn't cooperating with my paced schedule. At the next drop-off, before going into the office and having the papers signed, I ran into their restroom. You can imagine my relief as I downloaded (it wasn't #1). Now you can imagine my horror when I look down at the floor and see the hole where the stool was SUPPOSED to sit. I felt so sorry for those plumbers. Noella ____________________________________________________
So very limber and graceful.

Today, November 8, in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public. 
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The 
 expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. 
 The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of 
 exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity 
 discovered the scientific principle involved and took 
 the first X-ray pictures. 
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power 
 in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be 
 known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive 
 order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The 
 organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4 
 million unemployed people in the U.S. 
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and 
 British forces landed in French North Africa. 
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle 
 took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down 
 a North Korean MiG-15. 
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company 
 decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's 
 only son. 
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California 
 announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the 
 planet Saturn. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop deployments 
 in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to the multi-
 national force fighting against Iraq. 
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions 
 on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist 
 violence. 
1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from 
 the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were 
 valued at $52 million. 
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for 
 the Three Gorges Dam. 
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner 
 of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 
2009 The game Angry Birds Star Wars was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Thesaurus for Open Office 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 7

Thank you, William!


Happy 29th birthday, Noella!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 7, in 1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?" ______________________________________________________ It's time to do my bi-annual rant about auto-responders. Every now and then some smooth-talking moron manages to persuade otherwise quite reasonable people to use auto-responders to embarrass themselves. If YOU are one of those, stop and think for a bit, before you have lost all your friends. What does an auto-responder accomplish ? 1) Everybody puts your address into their spam filters, because they are not interested in the silly drivel of your auto-responder. 2) People forget that now all mail from you automatically goes into the garbage, and they don't believe you when you tell them that you answered their mail. NOTHING else EVER gets accomplished by a personal auto-responder. Commercial auto-responders that reply with up-to-the-minute fresh road reports, or the weather, or inventory of daily specials if you write to a certain address, those are useful, because they supply information that you requested. However, does anybody really need to know that Dingbat's computer admits that it has received the mail that you sent her (since you sent the mail to HER and not the Easter Bunny, you more or less expected that anyway), and that Dingbat is too lazy or too drunk to answer you right now, or that she never answers after 5PM? Well, you expected that too, so why repeat the never changing obvious facts ? If you have an auto-responder, do yourself and your friends a favor and get rid of it. Then get yourself a new address and get re-aquainted with your former friends who thought you had died when all your mail got filtered into the garbage without anybody ever seeing it. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bob for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Grimes, 30, Daytona Beach, Floriduh
Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. A would-be thief allegedly decided to drop in for dinner —literally—at a Florida eatery Tuesday evening, WESH reports. Police say diners at Hibachi Grill and Supreme Buffet in Daytona Beach heard noises coming from the ceiling shortly before 30-year-old Justin Grimes fell through it. Patrons sprung into action, holding Grimes down until officers arrived. According to WFTV, police believe Grimes got into the ceiling through the bathroom and was attempting to make his way to the restaurant's office to steal money when he fell through the ceiling. WESH reports the restaurant's manager found broken ceiling tiles and a pair of shoes in the office, but it's unclear how they got there. Grimes has been charged with burglary.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your train!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Spanish Rice My grandmother, who was Mexican taught me how to cook this Spanish rice. Now my son who is 24 and living on his own, makes his own. Approximate Time: 20-30 minutes Yield: 6 or more servings Ingredients: 1 cup long grain white rice 3-4 green onion stalks, cut small (more or less, depending on your taste) 1 small ripe tomato, diced 1 1/2 cup chicken stock, warmed 1 can (small) tomato sauce (I use the spicy tomato sauce, but it's a matter of taste) Adobo seasoning to taste pepper to taste 2 Tbsp oil, any kind of your choice 2 Tbsp butter (not margarine, or I can't Believe it's not Butter) Steps: Saute the green onion and rice until the rice is slightly browned and has a nutty smell to it. Add the tomatoes and stir in. Then add the warmed chicken stock and tomato sauce. Season with the Adobo, or salt and pepper to taste, then add the butter. Simmer 18-20 minutes, or until rice is done and all liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. Source: My grandmother By Cathi Cates [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed. Kathy wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought her a scrambled egg. Kathy wasn't having any of it. "Why can't I have some variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought her two eggs - one scrambled and one poached. "Here, my love... enjoy!" Kathy was furious, "You Bozo, you scrambled the wrong egg!" ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day M'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, what is going to happen to your pants when you hear the price?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I love to take pictures and was excited when I found out that I was going to get to go to the ocean in Florida. I'd never seen the ocean. I got up early, went out to the beach and waited for the sun to come up so I could get a sunrise picture. The sky was full of clouds and though it was getting lighter, I never did get to see the sun rise so I gave up. I decided to go back to the hotel and as I got into the car, I turned around and there was the sun, bright and shining. It had come up behind one of the casinos. Totally missed it! Noella ____________________________________________________
I prefer the house in the mountains where there is peace and quiet.

Today, November 6, in
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the 
 American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony for heresy. 
1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by 
 William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe). 
1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was 
 shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying 
 to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as 
 an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 
1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by 
 Albert H. Hook. 
1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote. 
1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first 
 transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia. 
1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional 
 government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led 
 by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 
1918 During World War I, a false report through the United 
 Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 
1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington 
 state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension bridge had 
 opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 
1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first person 
 to win a fourth term as president. 
1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television commercials. 
1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland, OH, 
 becoming the first black mayor of a major city. 
1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that college 
 students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose their 
 draft deferments. 
1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the 
 War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage 
 war without congressional approval. 
1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of Justice. 
 The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11 Supreme 
 Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist guerrillas 
 belonging to the April 19 Movement. 
1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had 
 been president since the country's independence in 1956. 
1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia, 
 becoming the first elected African-American state governor 
 in U.S. history. 
1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's first 
 African-American mayor. 
1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested positive 
 for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was retiring 
 from basketball. 
1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on 
 the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 
1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no contest 
 to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been arrested in 
 Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater. 
1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted 
 to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 
2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first president's 
 wife to win public office. The state of New York elected her to 
 the U.S. Senate. (New York) 
2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched. 
2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying.
2015  smiled.


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IN and OUT mailbox appearing empty 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Moe 
Thank you, Mary 
Thank you, Richard

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving off with voting equipment Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 6, in 1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth president of the United States. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart. --- Alice Walker (1944 - ) The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo. The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night!" ______________________________________________________ Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the garden market," said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man asked. "Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' "The produce clerk said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.' " ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Adele for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darrin Farmer, 55, North Versailles, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving off with voting equipment Authorities in western Pennsylvania say a local judge of elections was arrested after allegedly failing to show up to the polls Tuesday and instead deciding to work as a jitney driver for the day. The Allegheny County sheriff's office says 55-year-old Darrin Farmer of North Versailles (Vehr-SAYLESS) never came to the North Versailles precinct with voting equipment, delaying poll opening by three hours. Authorities say his wife said he dropped her off at a store to buy refreshments for volunteers but then left. They allege he decided to spend the day giving rides for money. Farmer faces charges including tampering with public records and obstructing a government function; a listed number for him couldn't be found and it's unclear whether he has an attorney who could respond to the charges.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Reliable email program Dear Webby, Once again I'm coming to the 'mountain' for HELP. Last evening I updated Mailwasher to the latest config. 7.7 and then this morning when I logged on and my mail was transferred to Eudora 7.1.0.9 all of the mail that was both in my in and out boxes (Eudora) has disappeared. I would like to have it (mail) back since I've not replied to some of them. I did nothing else with my desktop other than update Mailwasher. Can and would you shed some light to make my day brighter. Peace Frank Dear Frank Mailwasher doesn't do anything to Eudora beyond transferring the focus to it, like clicking on it to making it active. That sounds like a routine Windoze malfunction. Did you try closing Eudora and re-opening it? Or closing it, and then rebooting? Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, Like normal, I did as you instructed below. The emails came back BUT now in Eudora the inbox first left column with the 'dot' header is now showing a ? for ALL messages prior to this morning. This mornings recent mail shows the blue dot. The outbox is showing a red dot with an x inside the dot, in that same column for all sent messages including my initial request to you this morning prior to closing and reboot. Can you explain and can it be corrected? I'm having 'FUN!' now. Frank Dear Frank Normally Eudora keeps the IN and OUT box in RAM during operation, and writes to disk later. If Windoze decides it needs more RAM, it steals it from any non-Windows program. Theoretically, whatever it steals, is supposed to be written to the virtual memory (your hard drive). Sometimes that works OK, sometimes it doesn't. Eudora has a way to guard against that, and tells you to re-index the database. Compacting the database usually fixes the question marks and dots. To avoid that problem, keep the IN and OUT mailboxes small. Send mails to suitable mailboxes like Prayers, Recipes, Boobs, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Floor Cleaner with No Residue Have you ever mopped with a cleaner just to discover you have a sticky floor from the residue? We bought some rubber planking floor that looks like wood and I wanted a good cleaner so I did some research. My research took me finally to Amazon where there is a product called Congoleum Bright 'N Easy No Rinse Cleaner. A 32 oz. bottle is $13.99 plus shipping, but I tell you, that bottle will last. You use 1/4 of a cup to a gallon of water. The floors looked beautiful with no residue. After reading reviews, I saw people were using it in the kitchen on the tile floors so I tried that and the floors looked better than anything I used in the past. So I can do the tiles and plank floors with this and never have a buildup. By linda [61] Since my dishes dry nice and clean without residue, I have used a squirt of dish soap per gallon of hot water on my high gloss soft vinyl and gloss hardwood wood floor for the last 15 years. No dull film or buildup at all. My floors are as clean and shiny as my dishes and glasses. Other dish soaps will probably work just as well. If your dish soap doesn't leave a film on your glasses, then it won't leave a film on the floor either. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Barny, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress strolled by... Johns eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item Jill was examining, Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders One time I was at the Farmer's market and was already lugging a big, (in the late 60's) fashionable wicker basket full of all kinds of fruit and veggies, when I spotted large pumpkins with a sign "1 penny". That sounded too good to be true. Well, on closer inspection I saw the tiny writing "per pound". Too late. By that time I was hooked. Since I was already overloaded I asked the farmer if he delivered, and gave him my address. "yes, sure," he said, if you buy a gross." I had no clue how many were in a gross, but I was hooked. I wanted some of those big, shiny pumpkins. He told me that he would weigh them and put the bill into my mailbox. I had to go to church choir after the farmers market and we went for some wine and cheese at the preacher's house afterward. So I didn't get home until quite late. The front door was barricaded with a pyramid of pumpkins, and half the porch was pumpkins 3 layers deep. I had no key for the back door with me. So, after crying for a bit, I circled the house looking for a window that I could burgle in through. Then a cop car stopped and a suspicious cop stomped over to me and yelled at me, wanting to know if I was trying to break in to that house. That made me mad and I screamed back at him just as loud: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!" He jumped back two feet, and looked things over. Then he started laughing. Really laughing and doubling over, slapping his thighs and laughing. After that he helped me move the pyramid from the front door to the east side of the porch and make a pyramid there. After that I could finally get inside, put away the veggies and fruit, and murder a pumpkin. I didn't go for the bill in the mailbox for a couple of days. Noella ____________________________________________________
Yikes! Too scary for me!

Today, November 6, in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman 
 Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth 
 president of the United States. 
1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the 
 Confederacy in the U.S. 
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the 
 United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The 
 document granted rights to the United States to build and 
 indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 
1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of 
 Indian miners in South Africa. 
1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of 
 Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 
1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 
1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of 
 FM broadcasting. 
1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll 
 in the Pacific Ocean. 
1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited 
 when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800 
 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led 
 by Red Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.
1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that 
 condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The 
 resolution also called for all member states to terminate 
 military and economic relations with South Africa. 
1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 
 250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 
1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 
1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a 
 mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march 
 into the nation of Western Sahara. 
1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending 
 a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible 
 College in Georgia. 
1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over 
 northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents 
 to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban 
 resisters to the U.S-led invasion. 
1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 
 Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 
1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in 
 Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being 
 the head of a family spy ring. 
1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the 
 Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been 
 secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release 
 of seven American hostages. 
1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S. 
 announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets 
 that had been held since 1979. 
1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern 
 California was destroyed in an arson fire. 
1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires 
 ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 
1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 
1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb 
 killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 
1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's 
 queen as their head of state. 
2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. 
 The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 
2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state 
 newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were 
 robbers and killers aged 20-23. 
2015  smiled.


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Reliable email program 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 5

Thank You Cynjer!
Thank you Doug!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 5, in 2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Muslim Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. --- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC) To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This moron-promoting characteristic has lead some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed wherever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You'll know it when you see it. ______________________________________________________ Q: How can I avoid always being handed other peoples' drooling brats? A: Drop one or two. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Rater, 62, Buckeye, Arizona
AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger A man in Buckeye, Arizona, is facing child endangerment charges after authorities said he left his 5-year-old granddaughter in the desert by herself with a loaded gun. Paul Rater, 62, took the girl for a ride in his pickup truck Sunday afternoon in the desert. Family members reported the two missing four hours later. The girl was eventually found by a firefighter who was riding around the desert on an ATV. She was crying for help, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told ABC15.com. Arpaio told the station the girl was found with a loaded and cocked .45 caliber handgun. "He told her it was to shoot the bad guys. How does a 5-year-old know the difference between good guys and bad guys?" Arpaio told the station. Rater was found a short time later at a local store. Investigators said he admitted leaving the girl in the desert and went for a few drinks and a cheeseburger, instead, according to CBS News. Rater also told authorities the truck got stuck and he and his granddaughter had to walk for help because he forgot to bring his cellphone, according to KPHO TV. When the girl couldn't walk anymore, Rater said he left her under a tree with the loaded gun. Deputies said Rater came across several people while he was looking for help, but never thought to call 911. The suspect said he asked people to look for his granddaughter because he left her in the desert, according to AZCentral.com. Witnesses at the South Buckeye Equestrian Center said Rater showed up there around 5:30 p.m. complaining about having to walk 10 miles. He never mentioned his granddaughter. Rater's wife told deputies he called her for a pickup an hour or so later, after consuming a cheeseburger and four alcoholic beverages. Rater was booked into a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of endangerment and two counts of reckless child abuse. He remains in custody on $25,000 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terry Re: Reliable email program Dear Webby, I have tried Outlook and Windows Live, and am not happy with either one. Which email program do you recommend and use? Terry Dear Terry I still use Eudora, and have used it since 1993. Never a problem. Thunderbird is based on Eudora and pretty well the same, just prettier and has a lot more emoticons. Either one is fast asnd reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith: "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Onions Fresh for Months If you keep your onions completely dry, separated, and hanging, they will last you for months. Take a washed or new pair of pantyhose and stack your onions vertically, then store in a cool dark place. Additionally, if you tie a knot in the hose between each whole onion, they will touch each other even less, lasting a bit longer. By attosa [133] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________

male pole "dancer" - unreal
____________________________________________________ Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Does anybody read my blunder bit? Noella ____________________________________________________
Beautiful landscape photography.

Today, November 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when 
 he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. 
 Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to 
 celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament 
 and King James I. 
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful 
 cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting 
 to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an 
 automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company. 
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third 
 term in office. 
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of 
 Representatives at the age of 29. 
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally re-opened.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the 
 Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at 
 L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's 
 tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of 
 weapons to Iran. 
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 
 24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced 
 to life for treason against the white minority government. 
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong 
 evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child 
 (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was 
 shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, 
 Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was 
 sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade 
 Center bombing. 
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit 
 during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted 
 in his death and sentenced to prison. 
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's 
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion 
 when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA 
 fight in Las Vegas, NV. 
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to 
 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates 
 from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and 
 charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp. 
 enjoyed "monopoly power". 
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and 
 Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in 
 airline services. 
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people 
 and wounded 30 others. 
2015  smiled.


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Mail pretending to be from me 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 4

Thank you, Cindy !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Indiana man, who was arrested after he assaulted girlfriend because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the anethestic qualities of chloroform. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. --- Ken Keyes Jr. "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." --- Evan Esar "Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor." --- Edgar R. Fiedler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile, "then bill my brother-in-law." ______________________________________________________ The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Clyde for this picture: Strangest picture of Ireland: An Irishman without beer or whiskey in his hand! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bryan Alwine, 27, Muncie, Indiana
Indiana man arrested after he assaulted girlfriend because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper An Indiana man is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground during an argument over toilet paper, cops say. According to a Muncie Police Department report, the victim told cops that Bryan Alwine, 27, pushed her so hard that she “flew” and landed in the street outside the home they share with their daughter. The duo had been arguing, the victim said, “over toilet paper.” Alwine was allegedly upset because the victim had not purchased his preferred brand of toilet paper. As first reported by The Star Press, the woman “further stated that Bryan is very specific on what he likes to use and that he began yelling at her while they were still inside the home.” Officers responding to a 911 call Sunday night noted that the woman, who appeared “very frightened and nervous,” had a bloody elbow and a scratched knee. A witness who called police said that she saw Alwine “put his hands on” the victim and throw her to the ground. Alwine, pictured above, was arrested for felony domestic battery. He was freed from jail Tuesday after posting $5000 bond. Alwine has previously been arrested for threatening to kill the victim, who told police that a “history of violence” between the couple has “gone on for several years.” Muncie police reported that the victim is not being cooperative with investigators.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Mail from me Dear Webby, I get all kinds of mail that looks as if I had sent it, but is definitely not from me. I do send mail to myself frequently to file and keep, but these mails are just spam or scams. What can I do to stop that nuisance aside from changing my Yahoo address? Ann Dear Ann Changing your Yahoo address would help for a while, but sooner or later that nuisance will start again. We all get those spam and scam mails. I use MailWasher With that I make filters to for example mail FROM humor@webby.com that DOES NOT CONTAIN "Humor: " in the subject line then delete it on the server, automatically, without even showing it in the list. That way, when somebody sends a mail pretending to be from humor@webby.com, but doesn't have "Humor: " in the subject line, it gets murdered in the dark and sent straight to hell. You can send mail to humor@webby.com, just don't pretend to BE humor@webby.com. You can have all kinds of code words that will legitimize an email, for example DOES NOT CONTAIN RegEx "Recip|Prayr|Shoplis|Gardn" then nuke it on the server. You can use all the "Regular Expressions" if you want, but usually you just use the pipe | to add a bunch of alternates instead of making separate filters for them. Then after that you put the appropriate keyword in the subject line, and that email will be safe. That trick also helps you to organize your emails and automatically send mails with "Recip" in the subject line into your Recipe mailbox. Most email programs let you do that. So you win twice! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Navy Chief ('which Navy' will go unspecified) was being court-martialed for an incident where he was found to be chased by a young lady through the hallways of the hotel in which they were both staying. Neither of them were wearing anything. The charge was that of "being out of uniform." The Chief's lawyer argued that the officer was not out of uniform, as the regulations read: "A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged." The charges were dismissed. --------- Was that you, Jim? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Stainless Steel Cleaner Mix 1/4 cup vinegar, 2 tbsp baking soda, and 1/8 cup hydrogen peroxide. Add 4-6 cups hot water. Use a clean cloth. Dip cloth in solution and wring out, leaving cloth a little sloppy. Wipe down stainless steel with cloth. Allow to sit a minute. Wipe down with a dry cloth. Then wipe with a microfiber cloth. Very shiny! This solution also works to mop linoleum and tile floors and to clean the bathroom! By kattt [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ It's a good thing we UNsubscribed Ms Burkenheimer. She would probably consider this joke dirty. Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide announcements, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a timid female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys and need assistance." ___________________________________________________

true facts about the octopus (Not to be put in, but I love this guy :-)
____________________________________________________ The first time I heard the following story, it was told to me about 20 years ago by Danny, a former carpet layer. Knowing what he smoked, I actually believed him. According to his story, Danny had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt. While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the room. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my gerbil." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders It’s a personal rule of mine to never litter. My husband chewed tobacco. While out driving a few years ago we had a cup with his nasty stuff in it and it turned over in the car. We cleaned it up as best we could - no napkins - and our first thought was get rid of this cup so it doesn’t happen again. We're in the convertible anyway - he can spit out the window. I’m thinking - we’re so deep in the countryside now, no one will know if I throw it. The trees were very close, and I decided to wait for an opening so the cup wouldn’t bounce back into our car. As soon as we came to one, I threw, right into the face of a farmer plowing his field! Noella ____________________________________________________
16 Amazing Stair Hack Ideas. I love the "reading room."

Today, November 4, in
1846 - A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin Palmer. 
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
 the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
1880 - James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 
1922 - In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the 
 lost tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 
1939 - During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality 
 stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy 
 allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 
1939 - At the 40th National Automobile Show the first 
 air-conditioned car was put on display. 
1942 - During World War II, Axis forces retreated from 
 El Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for 
 the British. 
1952 - In the United States, the National Security A
 gency (NSA) was established. 
1956 - Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress 
 the uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 
1979 - Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran 
 and took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The 
 militants, mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send 
 the former shah back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages 
 were later released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 
1984 - Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 
1985 - Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was 
 returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had 
 been kidnapped by the CIA. 
1989 - About a million East Germans filled the streets of 
 East Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 
1990 - Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to 
 fight a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 
1991 - Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in 
 Simi Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by 
 President Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, 
 Gerald R. Ford and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st 
 gathering of 5 U.S. chief executives. 
1995 - Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, 
 was assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after 
 attending a peace rally. 
1999 - The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against 
 the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The 
 sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to 
 turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with 
 masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in 
 Kenya and Tanzania. 
2001 - Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and 
 thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture 
 of sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba 
 received the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. 
 in nearly 40 years. 
2015  smiled.


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Black Screen 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 3

Thank you Hermon !
Thank you Patricia !
Thank you Sig !
Thank you Heather !
Thank you Norma !



If you have trouble getting to sites, that you regularly
go to, like Arcamax or Gocomics, the problem is not at those
sites or at the servers they are on. The problem is that
a bunch of major fiber cable bundles have been cut.
One cut is nenar Kansas City, one is at or near Washington, DC,
and another one I know of is cutting off Newark and all
the data centers connected to the internet backbone there.
There is also a cut in the backbone about 108 km from 
Montreal.

How do I know? Did ISIS tell me? No.
I use Traceroute from one of the Webby servers. 
You can use the Windows tracert.

Click on START, type cmd and hit ENTER.
In the scary, black DOS style screen, type
tracert webby.com
or any domain you want to check,
for example
traceroute arcamax.com
If you see stars, those are breaks.
If you see 3 stars, that is a cut.

Asia looks even worse!
The Shanghai hub is not accessible.
Tokyo is cut.
Iran and Iraq are out.
India is down to 75%.

Africa is down to 0%,
so is Bulgaria, italy, Poland,Spain,
part of Sweden, and the Milton Keynes part of UK.

Australia is mostly at around 80%, as usual,
but new Zealand is 0%.

South America seems to have recovered except for Colombia.

I have no idea who made all those cuts or who coordinated
the cutting to all happen on the same day. 
There is nothing you or I can do about it.

Luckily our servers are not affected.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat and fake penis, who was arrested for drunk driving. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank God," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to." ______________________________________________________ A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bonnie for this picture: Atlantic Ocean in Hampton Beach State Park, NH about 30 miles from my house.Ā Nice day & we enjoyed the walk on the beach couple weeks ago.Ā Like to share with y'all. Bonnie in Candia, NH ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ross McDonald, 39, Iowa City, Iowa
Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat and fake penis arrested for drunk driving. After being arrested for drunk driving, a Halloween reveler wearing only a trench coat and “a piece of cloth that looked like a penis” attempted to eat toilet paper in a bid to foil a Breathalyzer test, Iowa police report. Cops yesterday pulled over Ross McDonald, 39, after they spotted him driving the wrong way on an Iowa City street around 3 AM. According to a criminal complaint, McDonald was “extremely confused” and could not tell officers “what bar he was coming from.” McDonald, who claimed to have consumed two drinks, had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and unsteady balance, cops noted. He also appeared to be dressed in a “flasher” costume: “Def was only wearing a trench coat and a piece of cloth that looked like a penis.” Upon arrival at the police precinct, McDonald “attempted to eat toilet paper, thinking it would mess with” the Breathalyzer. McDonald had initially refused the breath test, but “changed his mind after attempting to eat the toilet paper.” Despite McDonald’s cunning plan, his blood alcohol content was measured at .165, twice the legal limit. Since McDonald has prior drunk driving convictions, he was hit with a felony charge carrying a maximum five-year prison sentence. Seen in the above mug shot, McDonald was released from jail yesterday afternoon after posting $5000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: Black Screen Dear Webby, Still getting black screen when I surf and also stuck cursor. I tried system restore and it wouldn't work. Should I install the disc to renew installation? hank If you have a restore disk, then that would definitely be an option. Some machines have a restore disk in a hidden partition. Call Support of the manufacturer and ask them to walk you through a restore. You have to do that, of course, back up all your data, spreadsheet files, documents you have written, addresses, tips and tricks and cheat-sheet files, and your awesome collection of pussycat pictures. Also the setup files of all programs and the license numbers of all the bought ones. A restore totally wipes out everything you got, and restores the machine to the same state, that it was when you bought it. A total back-up like that is of course highly recommended anyway, even if you are not going to restore just yet. Before getting quite that drastic, you could try installing Chrome and then Uninstalling IE and FF. I would also recommend that you use the DeCrapifier at https://www.pcdecrapifier.com/ and weed out any program, that you are not actually using. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A couple was going out for the evening. They were both ready to go, nice clothes, hair done, perfume, cologne, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shot back into the house. Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. Well, the wife did not want anyone to know the house would be empty for the evening, so she explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid old ninny was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop to get her to come out." The cab driver almost hit a parked car. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Picasso Light Switch Plate Cover Turn a plain white light switch cover into a little Picasso like painting. Approximate Time: 25 min Supplies: 1 light switch cover with screws 1 flat screwdriver sponge to clean surface on switchplate cover newspaper permanent markers or acrylic paint paint brushes Steps: Turn light off. Remove light switch cover if you don't already have one. Place down newspaper. Wipe well with sponge and dry. Mark basic ouline with black permanent marker, including eye, nose, and mouth. Paint and color, use your own ideas and colors. Have fun creating abstract art known as cubism! Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer. When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the screws to match eye and lips and paint them. Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer. When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the screws to match eye and lips and paint them. All done! Enjoy your little Picasso like mini painting. :) Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn_-ckw4um8 By KIM HOGGAN [8] You can, of course, also just glue wallpaper or any picture onto switch and outlet covers. Spray-on contact cement works best. Spray the switch cover and the back of the picture, let it dry a bit, and position it on it. Trim the edges or fold them under it. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom observing her students while they draw. One little girl is working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what she is working on. "I'm drawing God," the child says. The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replies, "They will in a minute." ___________________________________________________

2015 World Synchro Champs SP Team Canada
____________________________________________________ There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders In the 1960s I was still very young and working at my very first job. To supplement my income I cleaned house on Saturdays for a friend. My friend was quite messy plus he had a large dog that shed pounds of hair, so it usually took several hours to clean his apartment. One day I was about ready to go home when he called to ask if I would place some chicken in the oven to broil as he'd be home soon. Where I grew up we fried chicken, so I knew nothing about broiling. I asked for instructions and he told me to pull out the rack, place the chicken on it and turn on the broiler. It sounded easy enough so I took him at his word and placed the chicken on the rack and turned on the oven to “broil.” About 15-20 minutes later he came home looking forward to broiled chicken. You're going to have to "picture" this. What he came home to was chicken laying on the oven rack, the skin hanging and dripping between the slats! I had no idea there was a difference in oven racks and broiler racks. I sure did after I cleaned up the mess! Noella ____________________________________________________
Watching these kinetic sculptures is mesmerizing!

Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa 
 Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself 
 to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
 England insisted on monopoly rights to sell Opium.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte, 
 IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia. 
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet 
 and William C. Durant. 
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese 
 may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a 
 supermarket in Chester, NY. 
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade 
 satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into 
 space, a dog named Laika. There was not enough cooling and the dog 
 died from heatstroke.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it 
 became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death 
 in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC. 
 Eight others were wounded. 
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the 
 story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven 
 American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair. 
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran. 
1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-ever 
 face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two 
 sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had 
 been abducted by a black carjacker. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington 
 National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am 
 Flight 103. 
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro 
 wrestler, as its governor. 
2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a 
 58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution 
 was unveiled. 
2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the 
 first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 
2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for 
 business. 
2015  smiled.


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Safe download for Open Office 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 2

Thank you Andy !!!
Thank you Carol !
Thank you Virginia !!.
Thank you James !
Thank you Richard !
Thank you Bonnie !
Thank You Gary !!.
Thank you William .
Thank You Svend !.
Thank You Ronald !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida twin women arrested after holding up convenience store Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 2, in 1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American Birth Control League. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Efficiency is intelligent laziness. --- David Dunham ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado." I wonder if that was inspired by the old 2 foot iron ball windometer by the bridge outside of Lethbridge, Alberta? One time driving by there a few decades ago I noticed the ball was missing and mentioned it to my hitch-hiker. She didn't think it was safe to drive on up to Calgary. I agreed with her and we soon found safe and quite cozy refuge in a really nice motel :-) ______________________________________________________ Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gary for this picture: Hello Webby, Huckleberry Lake is a favorite fishing spot of mine. Located in the Absaroka-Beartooth wilderness of Montana. It was the last picture the old 35mm took before it died. Feel free to post it if you want. Gary Lorenzen ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, The Stonecarver for reporting this one: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kirstie Bergeron, Kayla Bergeron 24, Daytona Beach, Florida
Florida twins arrested after holding up convenience store Twin sisters are locked up on robbery charges after they allegedly held up a Florida convenience store at gunpoint Tuesday evening. According to police, Kirstie Bergeron and her sibling Kayla walked into the Food Mart store in Daytona Beach and proceeded to a refrigerator, where Kayla selected a bottle of ginger ale. The 24-year-old twins then approached the front counter. “I have a gun, open the register!” announced Kayla, as detailed in a Circuit Court charging affidavit. “Are you kidding me?” replied clerk Sabbir Ahmed. Kayla then “removed her hand from her pocket and displayed what appeared to be a small handgun,” reported an investigator. As Kayla pointed the piece at Ahmed, the 37-year-old worker opened the cash register and Kirstie reached over the counter and snatched $230. The Bergerons fled the scene in a black Volkswagen Beetle that was parked next to the store. But as the twins departed, Ahmed copied down the car’s license plate number. The siblings were soon arrested after a traffic stop less than a mile from the Food Mart. Kirstie and Kayla are pictured in the above mug shots. While cops recovered the stolen cash and the ginger ale, no firearm was found. Police suspect the weapon “may have been discarded” following the robbery. Charged with robbery with a firearm or deadly weapon, the Bergerons are each locked up in the Volusia County jail on $25,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Free Powerpoint Dear Webby, For some reason I have micros-soft office Word and Excel, but no Power Point program. Is it safe to download one of the free Powerpoint programs without worry about crap getting on my computer? Thanks, I know it sounds like a 'dumb' question, but I want no virus or tracking stuff on my otherwise safe zones; I use both Malwarbeytes and Avast. Again, I'm so glad your computer guru talents are available to people like me! SD Dear Sandra Yes, if you go to the vendors directly, it is perfectly safe. You can get Open Office at http://www.openoffice.org/download/ They celebrated their 100 MILLIONth download by last month. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One evening a few years ago my friend Bill ran out of gas on his way home from work. Being short on cash, as usual, he walked 6 Miles to get home, and left his pick-up truck where it sat, in front of the topless bar next door to the massage parlor. By then his wife had gone to Bingo and he couldn't get neither money for gas, nor a ride back to the truck, so he cooked supper, cleaned up the kitchen and then went to bed. At the next church elder meeting, Miss Myrna, the town gossip ranted on about his immoral conduct and about how she had PROOF, because she saw where he had parked ALL night ! Well, Bill told his co-workers about that, and one of them was a regular at that topless bar. That guy told the story there. From then on, whenever he or his friends planned to later take a cab home rather than drive drunk, they all parked their vehicles in front of Miss Myrna's lonely house, - and walked half a mile to the bar. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing a Stuck Lid from a Pan My boyfriend was making burgers and wanted to melt cheese on top of one with a bun covering it. To melt the cheese faster, he put a glass lid over the burger and the steam sucked it into the pan and then it was stuck. I did a Google search for help without much luck. I left the pan in the fridge for a few days, took it out today and decided to hit the side of the pan against the concrete. The lid came out instantly! Try this instead of other methods and you'll get your pan back in record time! By Stacy G. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class, is this: two steps forward, three steps back, then side-step, side-step, turn around" ___________________________________________________

Crazy dog chases it's own leg
____________________________________________________ Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of attending a meeting? "Just for the halibut." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders The day was already going badly. I'm complaining to Bill that the milk had been left out all night, it was the last day to renew car tags, but we needed an inspection and everybody was closed, the shopping cart at Aldis won’t let me have my cart nor my quarter back. Then while unloading groceries I lock my purse and keys in the trunk. As I said, the day was not good. I remembered the back seat pulled down, so here I am with my back killing me, crawling around the back of a small Cavalier fighting groceries. Finally find my purse and keys, crawl out and drive home where I have to unload groceries (about 6 trips) up six steps and into the house. Then there's laundry and emptying the dishwasher and putting groceries away. BUT I have to go back to the store because I forgot we need stuff for the Halloween party for 40+ kids. I am really feeling sorry for myself and I'm complaining - crawling around did not help my back. I'm looking for sympathy, but Bill just questions, Why didn’t you use the trunk release beside the front seat? Noella ____________________________________________________
Best of the month of October, People Are Awesome.

Today, November 2, in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his 
 title to emperor. 
1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont, became 
 the first traitor of the American Revolution when he deserted. 
1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 
1883 Thomas Edison got a patent for an electrical indicator using 
 the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031). 
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first American gasoline powered car contest
1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support for 
 a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with 
 Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American 
 Birth Control League. 
1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 
1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. 
 It was named DuPrene. 
1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden airplane, 
 for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's first and only 
 flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of the white-gray 
 color of the spruce used to build it, never went into production. 
1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in 
a military coup. 
1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for 
 permanent residence in the U.S. 
1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey 
 prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973 
 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 
1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the U.S. 
 since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of her 
 boyfriend. 
1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being held in 
 Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 
1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of taxicab 
 service in Princeton, NJ. 
1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good because 
 of fear due to his HIV infection. 
1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's 
 diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 
1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up $1.1 billion 
 in trading losses. 
2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The film recorded 
 the best debut ever for an animated film and the 6th best of all time. 
2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the church's 
 first openly gay bishop.
2015  smiled.


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Keystroke Macro recorder 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 31
End of Summer Time in most of North America.
Let your clocks fall back an hour tonight.
You get an extra hour of sleep.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the Protestant Reformation in Germany. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. --- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592) Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --- Mark Twain As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!" ______________________________________________________ A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a wide grin, "For our .hic... clo-shing shong, let ush shing Hymn # 365: "We Shall Gather at the River." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Floyd Ray Cook, 62, Brookhaven, Georgia
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out A fugitive accused of shooting a Tennessee police officer and firing at a Kentucky trooper was killed in a shootout with authorities early Friday, ending a nearly weeklong manhunt. Floyd Ray Cook, 62, was pronounced dead at the scene near Burkesville, Ky., after being confronted by state troopers and a federal marshal who were searching an embankment, a Kentucky State Police rep says. Cook was armed with a handgun and exchanged gunfire with the officers, the rep adds. No officers were injured. Cook was accused of shooting and wounding an Algood, Tenn., police officer during a traffic stop last Saturday afternoon and fled in a black Ford truck. Just over an hour later, a Kentucky State Police trooper tried to stop him just beyond the Tennessee state line, authorities say. Cook tried to speed away but wrecked. He allegedly opened fire on the officer, missed, and ran into the woods. A swath of the border between Kentucky and Tennessee had since been gripped with fear of the man authorities described as "armed, dangerous, and desperate." Convicted of rape in the 1970s, Cook was wanted in Marion County, Ky., for failing to comply with the sex offender registry, a sheriff says. He also had previous convictions for robbery, burglary, assault, and riot, and he was wanted in Hardin County on an indictment charging him with trafficking methamphetamine and tampering with evidence.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: Keystroke recorder Dear Webby, I hope all is well. I wanted to know if you have hear of a program that will allow your computer to record the keystrokes and then "replay them" (to cut down on repetitive tasks)? Thanks, Dave Dear Dave There are lots of those. They are usually called macro recorders. An old one has been in Windows since 3.1, I think. The XP and up version is described with instructions at Macro Recorder Here is a review of the top ten macro recorders: Top 10 Just pick the one that suits you best. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A mother took her three year old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice "Happy Birthday to you!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ice for Getting Gum out of a Dryer When I found the gum, I didn't want to put a chemical in my dryer, nor did I want to scrape it with a knife and an ice cube. Here is how I got gum out of my dryer fast. I had saved a couple of those plastic fishnet bottle or candle covers (open at both ends) in my junk drawer. I took a rubber band and sealed off one end of the plastic cover. I filled it with ice and sealed off the other end with another rubber band. I scrubbed using the ice bag as a sponge and followed with a dry rag. It made quick work of getting the gum out of the dryer. By Mary Keenan W. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ During a rather heated argument a teenager said, "I didn't ask to be born." His father: replied, "Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have been 'NO!!!'." ___________________________________________________

Restroom Mirror prank
____________________________________________________ After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't easy, either." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Saturday mornings in St. Louis I'd walk downtown, shop for a while, eat lunch, catch a movie, and then walk home. This particular day even though my hair was a mess and really needed washing, it was very important that I pick up whatever it was I needed, so I walked downtown. While looking through the electronics department, I noticed on their television that there was a lady whose hair was similar to mine and I thought to myself, well, her hair doesn’t look so bad. The longer I studied the screen I noticed that her clothes were similar to my own. I studied her a while, and I finally realized I was watching myself. This was the first time I’d ever seen a closed-circuit TV in use. I had to look around and make sure no one saw me “admiring” myself before I hurried out. Noella ____________________________________________________
AirShow Budapest Beautiful town and awesome aerobatics

Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the 
 Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the 
 Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers 
 (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis 
 resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been 
 damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the 
 stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini 
 had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and 
 their ability to withstand hard blows. 
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain 
 prevented Germany from invading Britain. 
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work. 
 At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington, 
 Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln 
 were finished. 
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a 
 German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered 
 World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a 
 revolt against French rule. 
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land 
 an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first 
 person to set foot on the South Pole. 
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, 
 TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the 
 time he was in Moscow, Russia. 
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. 
 bombing of North Vietnam. 
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as 
 Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 
1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the 
 U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had 
 mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near 
 her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, 
 was sworn in as prime minister. 
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had 
 been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were 
 blamed for the murders. 
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged 
 into a northern Indiana farm. 
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in 
 prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death 
 of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence 
 was reduced to manslaughter. 
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms 
 inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons 
 of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA, 
 killing all 217 people aboard. 
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church 
 signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The 
 event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of 
 faith and salvation. 
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of 
 VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States 
 supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 
2015  smiled.


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How do you know a caller is a scammer? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia man, who was arrested after he smashed Waffle House door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave uprising in American history. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks of ten years older because of your wisdom." ______________________________________________________ HOW FAITHS FIGHT FIRES Recently, just as an ecumenical gathering was commencing, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!" The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for blessings that fire brings. The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring that fire was evil. The Roman Catholics called Rome for instructions. The Jews blamed the Christians and demanded they should pay. The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself." The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!" The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out. The Christian Scientists concluded that the toxic fumes from the burning carpets would kill them before the fire reached them. The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson, who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report. The Pentecostals danced and sang with joy, "The Pentecostal fire has come!" The Unity Students proclaimed the fire had no power over them. Some Atheists in attendance didn't believe there was a fire. The Muslims stated it was Ahlla's will. The Pastafarians grabbed the fire extinguisher, put out the fire and conrtinued eating their spaghetti. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, Brookhaven, Georgia
Man arrested after he smashed Waffle House door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, was arrested Sunday morning after police said he shattered the front door of a Waffle House in Brookhaven, Georgia. The reason for the breakfast breaking: He was allegedly angry the restaurant raised the price for a sausage biscuit from $1 to $1.50, WSBTV.com reports. A Waffle House waitress told police that when Feinberg saw the bill with the 50-cent price hike, he became belligerent because “someone had only charged him $1 [for a sausage biscuit] on previous dates,” according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Surveillance video reportedly shows the suspect get up from a corner booth, throw his bill on the floor and kick the front door on his way out. When the glass shattered, Feinberg fled the scene, only to be arrested outside a nearby apartment complex a short time later. Police said Feinberg told them he "barely kicked the door” when it shattered, and said he only kicked it because “he did not want to open the greasy door with his hand,” according to the police report. Feinberg was booked into the DeKalb County Jail on charges of disorderly conduct, criminal trespass and criminal damage to property. He remains in custody in lieu of $2,500 bond. The Brookhaven Police Dept. decided to use the incident as a teachable moment on Facebook.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Christine Re: How do you know a caller is a scammer? Dear Webby, How do I know a caller is a scammer? Couldn't it be somebody helpful? Christine Dear Christine Except for close friends, NOBODY legitimate calls you out of the blue about supposed problems in your computer. You can ignore those totally phony messages about Microsoft contacting you if they ever find out why a program locked up. That's from Windows 3, and they have never contacted anybody yet, as far as I know. If the caller claims to be from your ISP, then they are just as phony. Your ISP does not give a hoot about what goes on inside your computer, as long as YOU don't call them. The same goes for anybody calling and asking any information "to verify that it is really you." Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Who is known as the "godfather of America"? German geographer and mapmaker Martin Waldseemueller, whose book "Cosmographiae Introductio" was first published in 1507, named the New World "America" in the mistaken belief that it was Italian navigator and merchant Amerigo Vespucci who discovered the new continent. And the Indians are forever grateful that they were not discovered while somebody got lost on the way to Turkey. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sorting Socks into Pairs The one item I never put into a dryer is socks, because they always seem to shrink in there. So instead they get hung on the washing line on good days, or indoors on a foldaway airer on rainy days. Either way, this makes for a good opportunity to sort socks into pairs at an optimum time. It's a job I am sure that most of us hate, but if you do it as you hang them up it is an absolute breeze to sort out which matches what. Then very simply bunch the pairs together as you take them down once they are dry. Have a shoe box or something similar for odd socks and keep them in there for a few weeks in case their partners turn up on a subsequent washday. By ShirleyE [29] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." "Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in there. They take some time but are quite effective. He'll be quiet soon." ___________________________________________________

The drunk
____________________________________________________ On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!' The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat. Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!' Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of. The teacher suggested they try some biology questions. What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?' asked the teacher. 'Legs!' Larry immediately replied. What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?' asked the teacher. Pockets!' said Larry. The teacher looked at the principal, who said, Maybe he should be in third grade, I flunked those last two questions!' ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders For as long as I can remember I've been plagued with trying to remember names and faces. All the tried and true remedies failed. One day in the checkout lane at a new grocery store, a young man came up, pushed my cart away, and started bagging my groceries. I was wondering now how am I going to get them out to my car, they're way too heavy to carry. I was about to ask for the cart when he asked if I wanted help. Irritated, I said yes,¯ thinking now that you pushed my cart away, you CAN take them out for me. However, he was very pleasant and chatted about what a nice day it was. I replied that yes it WAS a nice day, I just needed to find my car. (I also forget stuff like that.) He responded, "Oh that's okay, I see it."¯ Surprised, I asked, How do YOU know where my car is?" His reply -- "I'm your next-door neighbor!"¯ Noella ____________________________________________________
Let's arm chair travel around this big ol' beautiful world we live on. It will only take about a week.

Today, October 30, in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established 
 by Simon Bolivar. 
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton 
 County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave 
 uprising in American history. 
1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 
1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman 
 Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper. 
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio. 
 The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live 
 news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of 
 approximately 58 megatons. 
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase 
 Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 
1972 45 people were killed when two trains collided in Chicago. 
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator 
 Francisco Franco was near death. 
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: 
 Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President 
 Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal 
 bailout of New York City. 
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity 
 priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four 
 security officers. 
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent 
 of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, 
 performed the world's first animal dissections in space, 
 while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian 
 President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military 
 still in control. 
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a 
 referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the 
 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided 
 the plane. 
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw out 
 the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the New 
 York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks. 
2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington Wizards 
 after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91 to the 
 New York Knicks.
2015  smiled.


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Phone call about computer problems 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 29

Thank you, Pat!!
Thank you Clyde!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a Dopey UCSB Student, who died from blood loss after punching through window Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an independent commonwealth. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. --- David M. Ogilvy "Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work." --- Laurence J. Peter ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ More than anything, a young man from the city wanted to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took pity on him and gave the lad a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?" "City Slickers. Cows love chasing and scaring them." ______________________________________________________ The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick, and then turned to me and a dozen other mysterious concoctions, and then asked: "Does this look natural?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Andres Esteban Sanchez, 20, Poway, California
Dopey UCSB Student Dies from Blood Loss After Punching Through Window UCSB student Andres “Andy” Sanchez died in surgery Sunday morning at Cottage Hospital two hours after he punched through a window in his Isla Vista apartment and severely lacerated his arm. According to the Nexus report, which relied on information provided by Senior Deputy James McKarrell with the Isla Vista Foot Patrol, Sheriff’s deputies responded at approx 4:40 a.m. to the 6700 block of Abrego Road after receiving calls of a male subject running down the street screaming for help. When deputies came upon a panicked Sanchez in a nearby apartment complex, three people were holding him down and attempting to calm him. A blanket had been wrapped around his arm, and when the deputies removed it, they observed a “cut approximately three-quarter inches in diameter around his arm.” Witnesses said blood was “literally flying” from the wound. Sanchez, a second-year pre-biology major from Poway, California, was transported to Cottage Hospital but died from blood loss just before 7 a.m. One of Sanchez’s roommates told authorities he had rushed into their apartment earlier in the evening “talking gibberish, and obviously under the influence of drugs” the Nexus reported. At some point he punched through a window and cut his arm on the broken glass.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Francine Re: Phone call about computer problems Dear Webby, You sure saved me some trouble today. I am sure glad I was able to contact you via Skype while I was on the phone with the scammer. You were hilarious! Please tell all the subscribers about our little adventure! You got a much better way with words than I do. Francine Dear Francine OK, will do. Francine got a call from somebody with an Indian or Pakistani accent, telling her that she has problems in her computer, that are affecting her ISP and the Internet. Francine is a pretty smart lady and thought that was not right. So she correctly guessed that my Skype handle is dearwebby, and contacted me, while stalling the scammer. As they usually do, he told her to click on START, type Eventvwr and hit Enter. Eventvwr is some ancient viewer from troubleshooting Windows during developing Windows95, and the "events" shown are totally harmless and of interest only to programmers. A print job, for example, can generate a dozen or more Warnings and Errors, before Windows and the Printer agree on a proper handshake. No big deal. That's how Windows works. The scammer tried to scare Francine about the Warnings and Errors, and I fed Francine smart-ass remarks and dumb questions to sidetrack the scammer. Needless to say, she did not download anything and did not agree to anything. The scammer wanted her to download a program, so that he could reach into her computer and "assist" her in fixing the problems. Yeah, right. Much fun was had by us giving the scammer the runaround. After we tired of that nonsense, Francine told the scammer what to do with a Billy-Goat. If you get a call from anybody telling you that you have problems in your computer, don't download anything, don't go visit any pages, don't agree to anything, and don't give them any information, no correct information anyway. Play stupid, difficult, paranoid, aggressive, whatever. Just don't cooperate. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On their 40th wedding anniversary, during the banquet, the husband was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. One in the crowd said, "Tell us, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" The husband said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness . . and a lot of other disciplines that you wouldn't have needed if you had stayed single." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Mint Tins I hate to throw away those cute mint tins so I've come up with a few idea's to use them in the car or purse. I put in some almonds/cashews (or your favorite) nuts to keep in the car for when I get a snack urge. Then I don't buy junk food......as often~ I also keep a few of my husband's meds in a tin, then if we are out visiting and stay over, he always has them! I bring along my vitamin supplements that I take. I also bring along chewable vitamins like calcium chews or gummies for adults that we never seem to want to take at home and have them on the road. Then our gummy snack is actually a healthy one! It's a great mini first aid kit and can hold quite a number of band aids, ibuprofen, alcohol wipes, etc. I always keep a $20 bill and a number of quarters in the car as well. You could lose a wallet, run out of gas without your credit card, need toll money. You never know! If you like to take spontaneous hikes or nature walks, a tin with a few additional items like: a whistle, matches (and the relighting birthday candles!) plus a pocket knife, mirror (for signaling if lost) are great to carry along! These are ideas for just the car/purse, in the house the options are endless! So don't throw out those tins! By Donna [291] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ We stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought us each a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen, Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!" "Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?" "The soup. Taste it," replied Pa. "I beg your pardon, Sir?" "Taste it." "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent." "Taste it," Pa persisted. "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients." "Taste it!" The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, Sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?" To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... " ___________________________________________________

I GOT this dance!
____________________________________________________ The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders The year was 1974, I didn't have a crock pot or any other modern kitchen doodads. I had just moved into a new apartment and equipping a kitchen was the least of my concerns. As long as the oven made heat and the fridge made cold, I was satisfied. Anyway, a friend was coming over for dinner so I had to draw from my scant culinary skills. PBJ sandwiches came to mind but I was able to fend off the thought. I'd heard that you could put a roast in the oven, turn it on to 200 F (93.3 C), and let it cook all day. Sounded okay to me so in the oven went the roast and I left for work. Eight hours later, I drove up to my apartment (an old house that was divided into units) and as I'm getting out of the car, I'm wondering what IS that odor? The closer I got to my door, the stronger it became. I followed the plume to a white oven that was now several endearing shades of brown. As if the experience hadn’t done enough damage to my ego, I proceeded to open the oven door. I didn't see how any more smoke could be in there, but my judgment was about to take the same beating my ego had suffered. There was a big enough cloud in there to darken all the adjacent apartments and then some! After gaining some modicum of composure, I grabbed a pair of pot holders and blindly reached around for the pan that held my roast. I found it just as I was ready to collapse from smoke inhalation and carried it out to the front porch. I tried to take the lid off but It wouldn't budge. After several minutes of praying and prying with a screwdriver, I was finally able to pop the lid. Once the smoke from inside the pan had cleared, I saw what had happened to my beautiful roast. I poked it with the screwdriver and found that it went all the way through to the air beneath the crust. Ninety five percent of my beautiful roast was billowing out of my apartment windows - the other five percent was in my lungs. It had not been a good day. I later discovered that my oven had one tiny eccentricity. No matter what I set it for, it cooked at 550 F (288 C). If I had gone to my mail box, it would have been done by the time I got back. Those PBJ sandwiches were sounding better by the minute. ____________________________________________________
18 reasons you should never travel to Chiapas.

Today, October 29, in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that 
 had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy 
 against King James I. 
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an 
 independent commonwealth. 
1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was 
 the founder of Pennsylvania. 
1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 
1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, 
 was electrocuted. 
1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution 
 of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, 
 later known as Kemal Ataturk. 
1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the 
 Wall Street stock market. 
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 
1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went 
 on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price 
 of $12.50 each. 
1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez 
 Canal Crisis. 
1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use 
 close-circuit television. 
1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight. 
1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all 
 school segregation. 
1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. 
 He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him 
 over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 
1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding 
 discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or 
 marital status 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's 
 regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during 
 its occupation of Kuwait. 
1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an 
 asteroid (Gaspra). 
1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to 
 pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President 
 Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power. 
1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the 
 Food and Drug Administration. 
1995 Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers became the NFL's 
 career leader in receiving yards with 14,040 yards. 
1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission 
 condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the 
 African National Congress. 
1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn 
 on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the 
 first American to orbit the Earth. 
1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for 
 $2 million at a New York auction. 
2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV 
 network telecast. 
2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released. 
2015  smiled.


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PDF Tracker 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who was arrested for attacking a Karaoke DJ over mic volume Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 28, in 1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us. --- Jerry Garcia, (of the Grateful Dead) "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' --- Ronald Reagan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first." ______________________________________________________ Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied, "It cuts off my circulation." She answered back, "It's supposed to!" ______________________________________________________ Kansas My friend shared this tree with me. I thought you might enjoy it too. Be safe and careful. You are a valued person. Janice ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Fort, 26, DeBary, Florida,
Florida man was arrested for attacking Karaoke DJ over mic sound The only record this karaoke singer will have is a criminal one. A man in DeBary, Florida, was arrested Thursday morning after police said he assaulted a karaoke DJ at Blackie's Bar. Joshua Fort, 26, was performing the Jay Z and Justin Timberlake jam "Holy Grail' with another man, when he sounded a discordant note at the job being done by DJ Omar Isaac, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. Police said when Isaac didn't pump up the volume on Fort's microphone, the suspect responded in a way that speaks volumes. First, Fort grabbed the DJ’s laptop computer and slammed it shut. Then witnesses said the suspect threw a glass at Isaac that hit the DJ on the side of his head. Fort is also accused of pulling the DJ to the dance floor and throwing him on the ground there, according to WNDB.com. Fort fled the scene, but later turned himself into the Volusia County Jail, where he was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He was released on $5,000 bond. The suspect told police he ran from the karaoke bar because because he “knew he was going to be in trouble” and that “everyone would point fingers at him,” according to a police report obtained by WNDB.com. Before his arrest, he was treated at a local hospital for injury to his left hand. Because the alleged crime centered around karaoke, the Florida Sun-Sentinel suggested the suspect be shipped off to Sing Sing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Tracker PDF editor Dear Webby, PDF Exchange does have a free version that is likely to be close to the same as Nitro. On their main page, in the upper left corner just below the banner is a graphic that says Get Free PDF Viewer now. If you click on that graphic it will download the free viewer. I liked their product so much that I purchased it, but I have many pdf docs that I must edit and annotate. http://www.tracker-software.com/ Neil Dear Neil Thank you for that info! Marlene also reported on that: "this is a program I have used for several years. this version is free" Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Molasses Sugar Cookies This is a crisp spice cookie. I make them every Christmas and give some away for gifts. They were my late mother's favorite and it reminds me of her when I make them. Approximate Time: About 15 minutes plus 1 hour chilling and 8-10 min.baking time Yield: Approximately 3 doz. Ingredients: 3/4 cup shortening 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup molasses 1 egg 2 tsp baking soda 2 cups flour 1/2 tsp cloves 1/2 tsp ginger 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt Steps: Melt the shortening in a 3 or 4 quart saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat and let cool. Then add sugar, molasses and egg and beat well using an electric hand mixer. In a separate bowl combine the flour with the rest of the dry ingredients. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together. Chill for 1 hour. Form into 1 inch balls and roll in granulated sugar. Place on a greased cookie sheet, a silicon mat or parchment paper. Space about 2 inches apart. Bake at 375ŗF for 8-10 minutes. Source: A recipe on the bottle of Brer Rabbit Molasses By Diana W. [12] You can drastically cut down on the sugar and increase molasses to get traditional soft gingerbread cookies. You have to add more flour until you can roll the dough into balls. They will melt into flat cookies in the oven. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100. Well during the flight, he talking with the passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation and remembered from the passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him. Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why you ask?" Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used parachute." Jean-Claude, "What for?" Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave now." ___________________________________________________

the internet cloud is not where you think
____________________________________________________ A passenger train in California is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ---------------- Yeah, I remember a train like that in Austria. It had little porches at each end of the wagons and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train is in motion is not permitted." Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the flower pickers passed the train. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Out of Cascade? Wanna know what happens when you use about a quarter-cup full of Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher? Well, I did one day! I'm in my bedroom curling my hair to go somewhere, and I hear one of the twins in the kitchen. "Uh, Noella? I think you need to come in here." "Why? You guys need to get ready." "Uh, Noella? There's suds all over the floor, Lots of suds, they're covering the whole floor!" I groan, walk into the kitchen, and sure enough, there ARE suds all over the floor. They're headed for the computer sitting on the floor just a few feet away. The boys bring lots of towels from the bathroom and I call my husband, who is laughing his head off. His solution - get out my Rainbow (dust and dirt is sucked into a container of water) and start vacuuming the water out. You know what happens when you vacuum suds with a Rainbow? The motor starts sounding funny. So, I shut it off and open it, to find that it took the water out of the dishwasher okay but now suds are way up in the motor. I did remember the salesman told us that if that ever happened, disconnect from the water housing and run dry. Now not only is the floor still covered with suds, there's more water plus oil on the floor. And we've got to be somewhere in just a few minutes! Moral of the story is - unless you want to use LOTS of towels to sop up water, never, ever use Dawn dish soap in your dishwasher! ____________________________________________________
Someone had a lot of time on their hands centuries ago!

Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the 
 American Revolutionary War. 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor 
 by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and 
 is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty 
 Enlightening the World." 
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use 
 fingerprinting. 
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known 
 as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 
 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. 
 Constitution. 
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government 
 and introduced fascism to Italy. 
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that 
 he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective 
 guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, 
 was completed. 
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard 
 Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin 
 serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply 
 deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled 
 guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion 
 pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug 
 after the government of France demanded it do so. 
1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a 
 complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the 
 troops there would be home by Christmas. 
2015  smiled.


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PDF form fillers 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 27

Thank you Jim H.!!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa man, who was arrested after stealing a taxi Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first Quakers to be executed in America. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be turned around and used against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride today." ______________________________________________________ Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim Hetrick for sending this picture, taken by Don Hole, one of his former students, who works the midnight shift at the Outer Banks Fishing Pier.: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Luis Orellana-Rivera, 26, Des Moines, Iowa
Iowa man was arrested after stealing a taxi An Iowa resident arrested for stealing a taxi moments after his release from a Des Moines hospital told cops that he boosted the ride because he did not want to walk the six blocks to his residence. According to police, Luis Orellana-Rivera, 26, hopped into a running cab parked outside Mercy Medical Center. The taxi driver told cops that he pulled up to the hospital’s front doors and left the car running as he made a delivery to the blood bank. Pictured in the above mug shot, Orellana-Rivera allegedly swiped the car around 6:15 AM Friday, immediately after his discharge. Shortly after the taxi’s owner reported the vehicle stolen, Des Moines Police Department cops used GPS data to locate the Ford Crown Victoria, which was parked less than a mile from the hospital. Orellana-Rivera was arrested as he exited the vehicle, which was in a lot behind his former residence. A “friend/former roommate” told police that Orellana-Rivera “has been having mental issues lately due to drug usage,” and has been “delusional and paranoid.” Orellana-Rivera, who had the cab’s keys in his pants pocket, told police that he opted to steal the car instead of walking home from the hospital. Orellana-Rivera, who spent about six hours at the medical center, was wearing a hospital bracelet and had a pulse oxygen device still attached to his finger when apprehended. Orellana-Rivera was arrested for felony theft and jailed in the Polk County lockup (where he is being held in lieu of $5000 bond).
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: PDF form fillers Dear Webby, You mentioned Nitro PDF program a couple of weeks ago. My sister told me to get PDF-Exchange from Tracker-software. What is the difference? Edith Dear Edith If you just want to fill an occasional form, then the Nitro will be cheaper. They have a free Reader, that has limited "typing" abilities. For buying stuff or filling out your taxes, that's good enough. PDF-Exchange has no free version that i can see, but they have much better typing and editing abilities. If you are writing e-books and want to do fancy formatting, then you might want to check out the PDF-Exchange. You would still write the e-books with Open Office or WORD, and save them as PDF. However, since neither of those two are that good for picking up a PDF file and edit it, an editor like Nitro or PDF-Exchange are handy for quickly fixing a typo instead of opening the word processor doc, fixing the typo, and saving it as PDF again. And of course, filling forms is much easier with a dedicated PDF program like those two. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Splatter Screen For Popcorn Here is a tip to release the aroma of popcorn but protect it from anything entering. Simply use a splatter screen cover. Great for home, picnics, or parties! By KIM HOGGAN [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between the door and the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter." ___________________________________________________

GoPro: Backflip Over 72ft Canyon
____________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma, you're 87 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo and a nose ring!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders It's not a cooking story, but here's one: I have several friends who consider themselves to be very spiritual.¯ They advised that I should watch the sunrise every morning — that it would be a very spiritual experience for me. It sounded good, so the next morning I got up early enough to catch it. I was still lying in my bed when I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful yellow light ever. I gazed on that sun as it was rising in the sky and felt an awesome sense of peace. Then it slowly dawned on me that the sun wasn't rising. I went to the window to check it out and found myself staring at the light pole across the street! I had a really spiritual epihany when I saw the light. It was time to clean the windows. ____________________________________________________
Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage

Today, October 27, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
 first Quakers to be executed in America. 
1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York 
 City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other 
 seven failed. 
1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed 
 of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George 
 "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence 
 to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 
1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was 
 the first rapid-transit subway system in America. 
1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 
1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in 
 New York. 
1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 
 26' 2 1/4". 
1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its 
 new synthetic yarn. 
1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring 
 Grouch Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on 
 NBC television. 
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. 
 They had been married on January 14, 1954. 
1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis 
 by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis 
 in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new 
 aspect of the agreement. 
1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime 
 Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the 
 Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving 
 a Middle East accord. 
1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the 
 U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for 
 the first time in American history. 
2002 Emmitt Smith (Dallas Cowboys) became the all-time 
 leading rusher in the NFL when he extended his career 
 yardage to 16,743. He achieved the record in his 193rd 
 game. He also scored his 150th career touchdown. 
2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of 
 Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected 
 leftist leader. 
2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy 
 FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second 
 largest banking company in the U.S.
2015  smiled.


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How to clear the cache in Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 26

Thank you Shalla

Back in the saddle again.
Next injections are on January 8.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk collegian, who called 911, claimed she is "Olivia Pope" and then warned cop of car bomb heading for White House Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. --- Voltaire (1764) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the unit that responded to a call from Coffee County late one night. They arrived on the scene and found a severely injured man lying at the edge of a field. His stomach had been completely torn open, and he was covered with lacerations and bruises. He also had a prominent tire tread across his chest. The injured man's companion showed up in a racing model ATV vehicle, clearly intoxicated, and gave the following account. Imagine this tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent. He and his injured friend had been drinkin' and ridin' around the field on the three-wheeled ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer in their headlights. The friend, riding the back as a passenger,was struck with a great idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter off one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The driver thought this was an entertaining idea, so he proceeded to isolate a buck and race him down. His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap from the ATV, grab the buck by the antlers, and perform an excellent example of this rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to the ground, but that's when things went wrong. The buck, less docile than a steer, simply got up, threw his head back, and tore his assailant's belly open. The deer then proceeded to stomp, kick, and butt him for good measure. The EMTs noticed that this information accounted all of the injuries except one. When they asked the driver about the tire track across his injured friend's chest, he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed to git the deer off 'im?" ______________________________________________________ The closest to perfection anyone ever comes is when he or she fills out a job application form. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim Hetrick for this picture: A picture of the "fall leaves in Ohio." Enjoy and again thanks for all. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelsey Cousins, 20, Iowa
Drunk collegian calls 911, says she is "Olivia Pope" and then warns cop of car bomb heading for White House An Iowa collegian who is apparently a big fan of booze and TV’s “Scandal” called 911 early this morning claiming to be “Olivia Pope,” and reported a sighting of “Cyrus Beene” outside an Iowa City bar, police say. Cops responding to the 2:45 AM emergency call were flagged down by Kelsey Cousins, a 20-year-old University of Iowa student who is a member of the school’s rowing team. Officer Brad Reinhard reported that Cousins, seen above, “kept talking about ‘Olivia Pope’ and about a car with a bomb in it that was heading to the White House.” The cop added that, “‘Olivia Pope’ is a television show character and everything that defendant stated was nonsensical and rambling.” Actress Kerry Washington stars in “Scandal” as Pope, a Beltway fixer and presidential mistress. The “Cyrus Beene” character, played by Jeff Perry, is a scheming manipulator who was fired from his post as White House chief of staff. The underage Cousins, according to a police report, smelled of alcohol, suffered from impaired speech and balance, and had bloodshot, watery eyes. She reportedly copped to drinking and possessing a fake ID. Following her arrest for public intoxication, Cousins, seen above, took a Breathalyzer test that registered her blood alcohol content at .206, more than twice the legal limit. She is also facing a second misdemeanor charge for misuse of the 911 system.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Samantha Re: Clear Cache Dear Webby, Every time I have a problem getting to certain sites, that are up and working, because friends tell me they have no problem getting to them, the ISP's tech support tells me to clear the browser cache. When I was still using IE, I used to know how to do that, not that it ever made any difference, but I knew how to do that. Now, with Chrome I have no clue about how to clear the cache. Second question: Is there a way I can tell whether they are just full of BS and are just giving me the run-around while they go ask mom how to fix the fluck-up at the station? Samantha Dear Samantha On Chrome,click the three horizontal bars at the right top. That opens the menu. In there click HISTORY. In History, click CLEAR BROWSING DATA In the next panel click EMPTY CACHE You could set the time interval to Beginning of time, but that is silly, since if tehre had been a cache problem, it would be with a recently cached site. Re 2: yes, they are usually full of BS if they tell you to clear the cache. The easiest way to prove that is to bypass the browser and use tracert. Click on Start type cmd and hit enter. Let's assume you are trying to get to webby.com/humor On the scary black screen that opens, type tracert webby.com and hit Enter. Don't type any part after the actual domain name. After a few seconds you will see the route information appearing one line after another. Just getting to your ISP is usually the slowest. Eventually, the trace will wind up at the target domain. If you get there without any potholes (stars), then the route is clear. However, if there are potholes, or roadblocks (3 stars), then the route is obstructed, and the problem is NOT in your browser's cache, since you didn't even use your browser. To copy the trace route is a bit tricky, since it is in DOS format, unchanged from the 80's. Right-click on the top frame bar, select EDIT, and in there select MARK Then use the mouse to highlight the trace route, and hit ENTER Then you can go to your email and with CTRL V paste the trace route. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had knew how to write herself!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paperclip as Collar Stay My son has to wear dress shirts to work and I launder them myself. He loses those little plastic collar stays all the time. He discovered a paperclip works like a charm! It's not quite as long but just as effective and easier to remove before washing. If this tip wins, I promise to give him the prize. He's saving for grad school. Source: My son's brilliant mind and necessity By Beth Pierpont H. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." ___________________________________________________

when neighbors complained about noise, this is what they found
____________________________________________________ Billy Bob and Bubba fly to Alaska for a fishing trip. They hire a bush pilot and rent a boat, rods, and tackle. After two weeks they have caught only one salmon. ''MAN Bubba," Billy Bob says, "Do you realize this lousy fish cost us about $15000 apiece." 'Wow," Bubba replies, 'At that rate it's a good thing we only caught one of them!" ____________________________________________________
Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage

Today, October 22, in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile 
 canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of 
 $7,602,000. 
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, 
 AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and 
 Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz 
 during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The 
 battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the 
 Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 
 40 to 75 cents an hour. 
1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain. 
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner 
 from New York City to Paris. 
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis 
 by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to 
 not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey. 
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 
 years on the Peacock Throne. 
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, 
 "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 
1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially 
 visit to the United States. 
1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed 
 at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by 
 Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 
1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head 
 of state to visit Egypt. 
1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born 
 with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the 
 animal heart. 
1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet 
 embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their 
 arms race. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it 
 was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is 
 used to induce abortions. The French government made the company 
 reverse itself two days later. 
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The 
 whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack. 
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 
1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal 
 correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a 
 six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 
1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the 
 company recorded its highest losses in history. 
1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was 
 designed to unify the country. 
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding 
 the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central 
 figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel 
 Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 
1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York Islanders in his 
 605th game. He became the second-fastest player to attain the plateau. 
 Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his 575th NHL game. 
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense 
 contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the 
 "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history. 
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist 
 rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 
 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds.
2015  smiled.


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W8 script error on start-up 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my 
eyeballs. That means no Saturday, Sunday and Monday
newsletters will be sent out. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a SC teen arrested after his rape victim bit off his tongue. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote with a march in New York City, NY. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. --- Bruce Grocott (1940 - ) "The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Customer: "I'd like an under the mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety, $1.95 each." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" Salesperson: "Hmmm, have you got one of those new Intels ?" Customer: "Yes, it says Intel inside, it's a 17"." Salesperson: "Then you better get one of these $29.95 mousepads" Customer: "But, is it Y2K approved ?" Salesperson: "Well,...to be on the safe side, maybe you should better get one of these bue ones for $49.95." ______________________________________________________ Bulletin Board Bloopers: The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. --------------------------- The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. --------------------------- The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. --------------------------- Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice. --------------------------- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antoine Tremane Miller, 16 North Charleston, South Carolina
SC teen arrested after his rape victim bit off his tongue -As she fought off a sexual assault from an intruder, a South Carolina woman bit off her 16-year-old attacker’s tongue, according to a police report detailing the harrowing home invasion. The 33-year-old victim told South Charleston cops that the knife-wielding teen forced his way into her residence early Friday morning. While grappling with the attacker, the victim was knocked to the floor and punched several times. She told investigators that the assailant declared, “Stop fighting and I won't hurt you.” The intruder then carried the woman to a bedroom and attempted to remove her shorts, police say. But the victim fought back and kicked the teen in the groin, which incensed him. "Now you have to die!" the assailant said, according to the report. As the attacker forcibly “shoved his tongue down in her mouth,” the woman “bit...as hard as she could until she heard it snap,” cops noted. The screaming assailant then fled the bedroom, recalled the victim, who told police that when she got off the bed, “the suspect’s tongue was still in her mouth and she threw it on the kitchen floor.” Upon arriving at the woman’s residence, police discovered blood in the bedroom, as well as the severed tongue (which was placed into a bag of ice). Cops also found a knife in the home’s yard. The victim, investigators noted, had a bruise around her right eye with swelling and scratches on her knee and foot. Shortly after the attack, the teenager was located at a nearby Waffle House. Cops were dispatched to the restaurant after the suspect’s mother called 911 to report her son “not having a tongue and needing medical assistance.” Police have identified the attacker as Antoine Tremane Miller, a North Charleston resident. The teenager, who has been charged as an adult, is jailed without bond on felony counts of criminal sexual conduct, assault, burglary, and weapons possession. Miller, seen in the above mug shot, was treated at a North Charleston hospital, but a police spokesperson declined to say whether the teen’s tongue--which police transported to the hospital--was reattached.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Unresponsive Script on W8 Hi Dear Webby, I appreciate your looking into whether you can find a cure for the bothersome "Unresponsive Script" window popping up continually on my 8.1 laptop. I gave the computer to the Geek Squad for a possible solution, If they find one I'll let you know. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter I found this: A file called IEFrame.dll has registration problems. Every DLL file is registered in the system registry. The problem arises when IEFrame.dll file registration entries gets corrupted. In this case there is a manual way to resolve this issue. Unregister and reregister the file again as shown here: 1. Click the Start button. 2. Point to All Programs | Accessories. 3. Right click Command Prompt. 4. Select "Run as administrator". 5. Execute below commands- regsvr32 actxprxy.dll regsvr32 oleaut32.dll regsvr32 ole32.dll Regsvr32. Ieframe.dll 6. When you're done, type EXIT and press ENTER. If this does not fix your problem, the best way would be to use Quick-Fix Patch. It scans the whole system for problems related to DLL registration, missing file, and so on. It would take a minute or two to repair it automatically. UNinstalling IE would probably also take care of the problem. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Joan in Minnesota. The Canadian Geese are back, a big event there. Next come the Winnebagos. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stuffed Peppers An easy fall dish that's healthy and delicious! Approximate Time: 90 minutes Yield: 2-3 servings, 6 pepper halves Ingredients: 3 bell peppers 1/2 cup brown rice 1 small onion, diced 1 cup crushed tomatoes 12 oz extra lean ground beef (I used 95%) 1 Tbsp minced garlic 1 Tbsp garlic salt 1 Tbsp olive oil 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese Steps: Slice the peppers in half length wise and scoop out seeds and pith. Rinse and set in a baking dish, cut side up. Saute' garlic and onion in olive oil for 5 minutes or until softened. Add in ground beef and cook until brown. Cook rice as directed. Add in tomatoes, garlic salt, and ground beef mixture in last 5 minutes of cooking. Bake peppers alone for 15 minutes at 350 F. Then spoon stuffing mixture evenly over peppers, returning to oven to bake for 30 minutes at 400 F. Add mozzarella cheese evenly over peppers. Broil for 5 minutes or until browned. Serve up with tomato sauce if desired. Link: www.triingforbalance.blogspot.com By Rae [1] That takes less skill but quite a bit more work than regular, old-fashioned stuffed peppers. For those, hollow out the peppers, and for the beef use regular ground beef. It is cheaper and has much more flavor. Murdering onions by just softening them would get you yelled at in my kitchen. Sautee them properly until they are hazelnut brown! Gently stir them while you do that, so that they don't get black edges. NO email-checking during the sauteeing! For the rice, DO NOT cook it as directed! That produces a silly mush after baking. If you nuke the rice, deduct a minute, and don't let it steep covered like you would if you use it as a side dish! Mix the rice and the rest of the ingredients except cheese and stuff it into the hollowed out peppers. That is why they are called stuffed peppers. when full, add the cheese and cap it with the original top after carving off the seed pith. Add a cup of slightly watered down pasta sauce, about 3/4 to 1 inch high in the casserole or crock pot. I drain the "spiced, crushed tomatoes" a bit and use that liquid to thin down the pasta sauce. Bake in the oven in a casserole at 350 for 25 minutes or in a crock pot for a few hours. THEN you get proper, old-fashioned STUFFED Peppers, that taste just like your gramma's stuffed peppers did. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A number of children from the neighborhood were invited to Mrs. Johnson's for dinner. She decided to do something different while serving the meal. "Where are you originally from?" she asked one child. "California," said the boy. "Well then, I will give you the left wing." She turned to another boy and asked, "Where are YOU from?" "New York," he answered. And she said, "You get the right wing." She turned to the third boy and asked, "Where are you from?" He said, "I'm from New Orleans and I ain't hungry!" ___________________________________________________

when neighbors complained about noise, this is what they found
____________________________________________________ Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me." ____________________________________________________
There’s an annual Straw Art Festival in Japan and it looks awesome!

Today, October 22, in
1910 - Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a 
 public solo airplane flight in the United States. 
1915 - Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to 
 vote with a march in New York City, NY. 
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 
 starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 
1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive 
 against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 
1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet 
 occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary 
 and eventually suppress the uprising. 
1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the 
 Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor 
 due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for 
 writing "Dr. Zhivago". 
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine" 
 of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of 
 American States (OAS). 
1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began 
 overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat 
 Communist China. 
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the 
 subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 
1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility 
 when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 
1980 The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin 
 was announced. 
1984 "NBC Nightly News" aired footage of the severe drought 
 in Ethiopia. 
1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of 
 Soviet rule. 
1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor 
 to stand on Chinese soil. 
1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill 
 Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn Bosnia. 
1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian 
 Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace 
 West Bank accord. 
1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 
2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010, 
 it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 
2015  smiled.


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W8 Script Error Failure 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida couple arrested after they left name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. --- H. Mumford Jones (1892 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?" The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today." The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five." The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as last time." The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today." After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?" The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it." ______________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Megan Ohara, 24 David Ziskowski, 19 Palm Beach, Florida
Florida couple arrested after they left name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery Authorities say a man and woman left the woman's name and telephone number in the guestbook of a South Florida art gallery before stealing about $6,000 worth of jewelry. Palm Beach police say 24-year-old Megan Ohara and 19-year-old David Ziskowski took a bracelet and a ring Sunday from the Attila JK exhibition at the ICFA Gallery. They were spotted a short time later at a nearby grocery, and police reported finding the jewelry in the woman's purse. Officers found multiple fake email addresses and at least one obscene drawing in the gallery's guestbook. The South Florida Sun Sentinel (http://goo.gl/UEPiqq ) reports that two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one included Ohara's phone number. Ohara and Ziskowski were arrested and charged with grand theft.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Unresponsive Script on W8 Hi Dear Webby, I once again seek the help of the western hemisphere's preeminent cyber guru. Quite frequently on my 8.1 Windows laptop, Firefox browser, a window comes up, saying "Warning: Unresponsive Script." The screen then freezes and to correct this problem I have to reboot. Have you an answer on how to prevent this from happening? Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter "Just a routine Windows 8 F...up". Hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to open the Taskmanager sort by Memory locate and highlight FireFox Hit END PROCESS in the right bottom corner. It will close FireFox and unlock W8. Chrome seems to be able to deal with that problem more intelligently and lets you stop and restart unresponsive scripts. Unfortunately, that only gets you over a symptom of the problem, and does not cure it. I will look for a possible cure. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An old farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and asked for the price of their toilet paper. The company wrote back telling him to look on page #346 of their catalog. He wrote another letter to the company that said: "If you had not stopped sending me catalogs, I would not need any toilet paper." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Your Pumpkin from Spoiling It is Jack-o-Lantern time! I always wait until the last minute to carve my pumpkin because it seems like it starts to rot the next day. I saw a special on TV where they immerse the cut pumpkin in a solution of water and bleach. You keep it in for a while and make sure it gets submerged and every cut surface is treated. Let it drain for a while. Just make sure you wear old clothes and use plastic gloves. I think Rubbermaid would be the best. I don't know the percentage of bleach to water, or how long to keep in the liquid. Before I have tried using salt and water or vinegar but the pumps didn't last any longer. Source: TV special Extreme Hallowe'en I think it was By Nightsong [37] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." ___________________________________________________

July 31, 2015 moonrise over Cape Byron Lighthouse, on Belongil Beach, Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia. The head land and lighthouse at Byron Bay is the most easterly point of the Australian Mainland and therefor is the first place in Australia to watch the full moon rise. This video is made up of 1038 frames and slowed down to as close to real time as possible.
____________________________________________________ When I consider how sweaters tend to make me sweat, I'm a lot less inclined to wear my windbreaker. ____________________________________________________
Body paint for Halloween

Today, October 22, in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It 
 later became known as Princeton University. 
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute 
 jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally 
 elected president of the Republic of Texas. 
1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" 
 among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to 
 come to an end according to the followers of William Miller. 
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment 
 with a high-resistance carbon filament. 
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing 
 money from many New York banks. 
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to 
 inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces 
 to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the 
 discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island. 
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft 
 had orbited the Earth 163 times. 
1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was discharged 
 after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His tombstone reads 
 "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the military they gave 
 me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." 
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed 
 into the U.S. for medical treatment. 
1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was 
 decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous August. 
1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade Association 
 agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by the year 1993. 
1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which it 
 defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to 
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in July. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications downloaded. 
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for the 
 longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been continously 
 inhabited since November 2, 2000. 
2015  smiled.


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Restore desktop 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police her name is 'Hell On Wheels' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) "Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot." --- Charlie Chaplin Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. --- Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A salesman from New York traveling in Kansas left his snazzy rental car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. He went to the local garage and inquired how he could fix the problem himself. The mechanic told him to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would pop out again. He took the car to the motel where he was staying, parked it and proceeded to blow on the tailpipe. A local came by and inquired what he was doing. He explained that he was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents. The local responded, "That's not gonna to work, not unless you roll up the windows real tight first." ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200," the teacher began, "and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?" "Well, it sure would be no orgy!" Johnny answered, "Helen, my girlfriend, would bust my skull for that!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Dolores Alleman 38, CLARKSBURG, Wesrt Virginia
Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police her name is 'Hell On Wheels' Police say a woman accused of drunken driving and hitting six vehicles initially identified herself to an officer as "Hell on Wheels." The Exponent Telegram (http://bit.ly/1KdL6cI ) reports 38-year-old Amanda Dolores Alleman of Clarksburg was arrested Friday on numerous charges. Among them are aggravated driving while under the influence, striking an unattended vehicle and having no insurance. Police say Alleman had a blood-alcohol content of 0.20 percent when she struck six parked vehicles on two different streets. Alleman was being held at the North Central Regional Jail on $14,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Desktop restore Dear Webby For that poor lady whose desktop icons all got scrambled - we only have a couple dozen so what I did was do a "print screen" of the desktop & saved it in an e-mail draft.Ā Now when they go haywire I just use that to reassemble them.Ā Sounds a lot easier, hope you will print my idea. Bonnie in Candia Dear Bonnie You are an exception! Most people have a LOT of icons on their desktop. If somebody finds the half minute installation of Desktop OK too much hassle, there ARE ways to reduce the number of icons. Make some desktop folders, for example Tools, Music, Recipes and so on. Then drag all related icons into those folders. That will reduce the number of loose icons very quickly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and shovel for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering whack with the shovel. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall: "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two fourty five in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda Deodorant I have been keeping a bowl and mixing hydrogen peroxide and baking soda and using it as deodorant. I have never been fresher. Mix a small amount into a paste. I buy the value size on both at Sam's Club. I am at seven months and might get a year out if it. I used to use a deodorant costing 5.99 every two weeks. By Stevebasso [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "Bobby just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ___________________________________________________

What does Google look like
____________________________________________________ had been misbehaving and was sent to bed. After a while emerged and informed mother that had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you about your misbehaving, He will help you." "Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said . "I asked Him to help me not to get caught quite so much." ____________________________________________________
A massive bridge building machine. Those are some brave men that work around that machine.

Today, October 21, in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, 
 was launched in Boston's harbor. 
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. 
 The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. 
 It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during WWI 
 near Nancy, France. 
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
 per minute on a manual typewriter. 
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the 
 Electric Show in New York City, NY. 
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined 
 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 
1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was 
 captured by U.S. troops. 
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 
1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York. 
 The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in 
 opposition to the Vietnam War. 
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to 
 Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 
1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action 
 was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American diplomats. 
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released 
 after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North 
 Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial 
 birth abortions. 
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer 
 of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist 
 nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.
2015  smiled.


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Desktop is messed up again 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 20


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida couple, who prolonged police standoff to have sex 'one last time'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 20, in 1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. --- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957) Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get her. --- Hillary "Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea." --- John Ciardi "Modern Art" ? Isn't that an oxymoron like "Dry Water", which, according to people in the military is like "Military Intelligence" ? "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful." Mother: "Really?" Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell history papers on that topic!" ______________________________________________________ A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, Leanne Hunn, 30, , Jacksonville, Florida
Couple Prolongs Police Standoff To Have Sex 'One Last Time' Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, allegedly refused to surrender to police until they could have sex together one last time. A standoff began Wednesday night when Jacksonville Sheriffs responded to a call about Michael Forte, 34, who was wanted on several warrants including armed burglary, FirstCoastNews.com reports. A Jacksonville Sheriffs Office spokeswoman said deputies were also looking for Bautista, who also had several warrants, including armed burglary. Bautista and Hunn reacted to the police visit by barricading themselves inside a mobile home and refusing to leave for more than six hours, according to News4Jax.com. Three other adults were inside the home at the time police arrived, but one woman was allowed to leave a short time later. Police said Hunn and Bautista detained another woman by dragging her to a back bedroom where she was held down, according to the website. That woman was eventually allowed to leave, but Hunn and Bautista refused to exit the mobile home. Hostage negotiators were called to the scene and attempted to communicate with the couple via phone and bullhorns, according to Jacksonville.com. At some point during the standoff, Hunn told police she would give herself up but not until she had sex with Bautista “one last time,” according to the website. Hunn never did come out on her own. Eventually, officers broke into the mobile home and arrested the couple. Bautista and Hunn were arrested and charged with resisting police and false imprisonment, according to CBS News. They are currently in the Duval County Jail. The couple apparently had an audience for their "last time" lovemaking session. Turns out Forte, the subject of the original phone tip, was also in the mobile home. Forte was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon by a convicted felon, armed robbery, and murder, according to Inside Edition. Forte is currently being held in the Duval County jail on charges of murder, armed robbery with a firearm or other deadly weapon and possession of a weapon by a felon, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annalisa Re: Desktop messed up Dear Webby Windoze has done it AGAIN. Totally screwed up my perfectly organized desktop and just moved all icons in one disorganized pile on the left side, while I was not even near the computer. When I saw that, this prim and proper lady used some VERY foul language! What have you got to keep me from cussing like that? Annalisa Dear Annalisa I got an add-on that installed itself into the right-click menu for saving or restoring the desktop. Unfortunately, I got that probably half a dozen years ago and have long forgotten where I got it from. Try right-clicking the desktop and see if you have that add-on. In case you don't have that, I searched for an alternative. I tested it, and it is clean and works well. Go to Desktop OK and Download the program at Desktop OK Program You have to unzip it and then run it. Don't get flustered by the many options in it! Just look at the Auto-Save, tell it to save 32 back-ups, and to save when Windows shuts down. Saving every 15 minutes is available, but in my opinion not a good idea. That could possibly save right after Windows messes up your desktop. If you have time and inclination, you can play with the ton of options in there, but it works fine as is. If it looks like it disappeared, click the double upwards arrows in the right bottom, beside the W10 nagger. That shows you programs, that are running in the background. One of them is a white mini desktop with some colored dots in it. That's Desktop OK. If you want to restore the desktop, you can select which saved version you want. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven." "Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to the post office." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Shower Curtain Rings as Hangers Each time you buy a new shower curtain it comes with a new set of curtain rings which are not always needed. You can use these in your wardrobe to save space by hooking them onto a clothes hanger. You can then hang vests, ties belts and scarves from the rings By ShirleyE [26] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat, leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?" The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it protects me then, too." "Why do you wear that leather vest?" "It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches." "Well, why do you wear leather chaps?" "They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through rough bushes." "Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked, "Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?" "That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver." ___________________________________________________

refueling in air
____________________________________________________ This one is a classic, but good enough to see again: The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman"? "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"? Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me." ____________________________________________________
Large-scale land art by Stan Herd, known as the "Father of Crop Art."

Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and 
 Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor 
 Charles VI. 
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of America’s 
 colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the 
 colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and 
 all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays 
 and other expensive diversions and entertainment." 
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between 
 the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for 
 Independence. 
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus 
 T. (P.T.) Barnum. 
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a 
' dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of 
 Alaska. 
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series 
 game for the first time. 
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that 
 took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist 
 Headquarters. 
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve 
 in Germany. 
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 
1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and 
 Dubrovnik were liberated. 
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American 
 Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist 
 influence within the motion picture industry. 
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. 
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 
1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated. 
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit 
 the violence in their programs. 
1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. 
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned 
 atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety 
 devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing 
 a stunt. 
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2015  smiled.


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