New window (tab) 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 30

A Darwin Award goes to Abdul Razak Ali Artan in Ohio

for voluntarily taking himself out of the gene pool, when
the coward attacked innocent students with a car and
a butcher knife.

Kudos to Officer Alan Harujko for stopping the terrorist.

Kudos also to Switzerland for sending back Somalis who
demand separate swimming pools for girls and for not only
rejecting male Muslims, who refuse to shake hands with female
teachers, but on top of that fine them $5,000.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh shoplifter with long Walmart shopping list 
doesn't outrun K-9.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 30 in 

1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an
army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King
Charles XII died on this day. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. --- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ) "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal." --- Hannah More Cops are what you see when you take your eyes off the speedometer. --- D.W. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The manager of a large city zoo is drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sits at his computer and types: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience." He stares at the screen, focusing on that odd word "mongooses." He replaces the word so that the sentence reads: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience." Again he stares at the screen, focusing on the new word. It seems just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deletes the whole sentence and starts over. "Everyone knows no well-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he types. "Please send us two of them." ______________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, a husband asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ______________________________________________________ A new addition to the periodic table of chemical elements Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: 180+ Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this picture: Beautiful Autumn Colors in Mehedinti Mountains, Romania ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Loren Edwards, 27, Hernando, Floriduh shoplifter with long Walmart shopping list doesn't outrun Hernando K-9 A man who police say attempted to push a shopping cart filled with $1,597 in stolen goods out of a Brooksville Walmart was nabbed by Hernando County Sheriff's Office deputy K-9 'Judge' on Sunday. Anthony Loren Edwards, 27, filled his shopping cart with 120 items ranging from jewelry and clothing to a coloring book and gel pens and tried to leave the Walmart located at 1485 Commercial Way around 7 a.m. when loss prevention employees attempted to stop him. Edwards refused to listen to loss prevention, ditched the cart and started running. At the same time, Hernando County Sheriff's Office deputies saw Edwards run from the scene with the Walmart employees giving chase. Deputies ordered him to stop, but Edwards did not comply. Edwards fled north into a wooded area and into the Hernando County Water Treatment Facility on Osowaw Boulevard. While inside the treatment facility, Edwards allegedly helped himself to food and drinks in the office. Deputies arrived at the facility and saw Edwards running away. He again refused to stop. Deputy Brandon Cox and K-9 Judge then went after the suspect. Judge brought down Edwards, who then reportedly assaulted the dog, adding to the growing list of charges. He also received 18 stitches to his right thigh and ankle for his efforts. Edwards faces multiple charges in this incident, including larceny, resisting an officer, assaulting a K-9 and commercial burglary for his jaunt through the treatment facility. He is being held on $13,000 bond at the Hernando County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Janine RE: New Window Dear Webby, I do remember the wicker carpet beater! It was very educational when I was a kid. Normally I want my browser to re-use already open windows, so that it doesn't gobble up more memory than my computer has. But occasionally I DO want a link to go to a brand new window without losing the one that is open. Is there a way to do that without changing all the settings in MSIE? Thanks Janine Dear Janine Yes, sure there is. Hold down SHIFT while you click on that link. Have FUN! DearWebby
Benefit of old age: Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pizza Box Cash Gift By Donna [366 Posts, 374 Comments] This could be for a college student or anyone who is short on money. It makes a great raffle basket item when needed too! Always appreciated and never returned! ;-) You can change the bill denominations according to your desires. Total Time: 10 minutes Supplies: one empty pizza box (Dominoe's boxes are adorable for this and fit well although any large size pizza box will do.) cash- bills (about 18-20) and coins (silver dollars, half dollars and/or quarters) double sided tape one sheet of red paper Steps: I made circles on my red paper using a glass to trace the shape. Then simply place the bills into a circle using a small piece of tape to hold in place. Add the "red paper pepperoni" around the bills and place coins with double stick tape to hold them in place. Either write or type up the saying to add to the top of the box, print it out and tape it to the inside top of the pizza box. Add a bow and ribbon if you'd like to wrap it up and "deliver it".
fox plays with golf ball
____________________________________________________ "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician scratched his head, "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an opthalmologist?" "No," replied the patient, "just spots." ____________________________________________________
How in the world could such art come from a lowly pencil?
From my archives: A letter from Mutha Goose to help me out while I was on the road. RE: Software install You can do one of two things, follow the 12-Step Program or write Dear Webby! *lol* 1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this: SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS 2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER 628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM 719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE 3546 MB RAM 432323 MB ROM 05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM 2 TURTLE DOVES NOTE: This software will not work on your computer. 2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and trouble-shooting the software. Throw it away. 3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says: LICENSING AGREEMENT: By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,...finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers. 4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer." 5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key. 6. Turn the computer on, you idiot. 7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key. 8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for a while, after which the following message should appear on your screen: The Installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest: +---+ +-----+ | YES | | SURE | +---+ +-----+ 9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does who knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a food processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha." 10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message: CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately swear, like this: *!@!$)$%@&*^)$*!#$_$*^& 11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture. 12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12. And so that's the easy way to install software...
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 30
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an
army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King
Charles XII died on this day. 

1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace
articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 

1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to
France. 

1804 U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Chase went on trial
accused of political bias. He was later acquitted by the U.S.
Senate. 

1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz
Mexico declared war on France. 

1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and
destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 

1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper
shaker with a screw-on cap. 

1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 

1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its
first commercial exhibition. 

1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire.
The structure had been constructed for the International
Exhibition of 1851. 

1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. 

1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 

1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a
meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock
weighed 8½-pounds. 

1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News"
three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was
the world's first broadcast via videotape. 

1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the
United Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 

1966 The former British colony of Barbados became
independent. 

1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S.
President Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired
national security staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 

1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco
Inc. with a bid of $24.53 billion. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill.
The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. 

1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire
Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's
largest financial institution. 

2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up
with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R
Us
provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 

2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting
"Boenskoerd" ("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for
$730,000. The work had been in a private collection for more
than a century. The Larsson work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By
Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the same auction. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 5 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 132 )
Parental controls 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
A Utah teen forced a 22-year-old man to dig his 
own grave before killing him and burning his body
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 29 in 

1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a
militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400
peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and
had been given permission to camp. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A motion to adjourn is always in order. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) Fidel Castro, Democrat fighting Capitalism all his life, went to hell on Black Friday. --- Donald Trump ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 There is the story of a priest who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, the money is still out there in your pockets." ______________________________________________________ During exams at England's Cambridge University, a bright young student asks the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. "Sorry, no," says the proctor. "Sir, I really must insist," says the student, taking out a copy of the 400 year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect. He points to a section which reads (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." The proctor gives in, but since cakes and ale aren't readily available, he and the student agree that hamburgers and beer can be substituted, and the student sits there, writing his examination and happily slurping away. Three weeks later, the same student is fined fifty pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination. ______________________________________________________ I think that was in California or Utah. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Raul Francisco Vidrio, 19, Mount Pleasant, Utah A Utah teen forced a 22-year-old man to dig his own grave before killing him and burning his body A Utah teen forced a 22-year-old man to dig his own grave before killing him and burning his body, authorities say. Raul Francisco Vidrio, 19, beat Wesley Dee Nay, stabbed him and placed his body in a grave filled with chopped wood, according to a probable cause statement. The 19-year-old Vidrio then doused the body in gasoline and set it on fire, authorities say. Witnesses reported seeing Nay leave a home in Mount Pleasant with Vidrio in late August. A witness recalled seeing Vidrio and Nay getting into an argument. Vidrio told police they "drove around town through the night, used (meth and marijuana) and eventually ended up at another residence in Mt. Pleasant," according to a search warrant affidavit obtained by the Deseret News. The man at the home said Vidrio borrowed a chainsaw "to be used to cut wood to burn evidence and flesh," the newspaper reported. A witness said that he heard the suspect and others on Aug. 31 "talking about 'opening the door to hell, the Saint of the Dead, and some dark (stuff),'" according to the charges obtained by the paper. Nay's remains were found in a shallow grave on Oct. 19 approximately 100 miles southeast of Salt Lake City. Investigators recovered a deleted image from Vidrio's cellphone that appeared to show Nay digging what would become his own grave, according to the Deseret News. "The image depicts Mr. Nay in the same clothing he was last seen in ... digging a hole in a grassy meadow that strongly resembles the location where his remains were found," read the charges obtained by the newspaper. A human skull and other charred bones were found with burned pieces of wood, the Deseret News reported. Nay was identified through dental records. Vidrio has been charged with aggravated murder, abuse or desecration of a dead human body and obstruction of justice. He is "a known drug dealer" and gang member in Mount Pleasant, according to the Deseret News. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Kerry Re: Parental control filters Dear Webby, What do recommend for parental control filters? Kerry Dear Kerry A sturdy wicker carpet beater seems to be the best. The software parental controls are way too soft. Most likely your kids can crack them a lot faster than you can set them up, plus they can always go to different but similar sites. Just hanging around now and then and making it clear that computer use is a privilege, that can be cut at any time, is the most effective. As long as you learned how to control the home network, and occasionally change the password for their machines, so that they have to beg for the new password, they will usually behave. Kids will sneak a peek at taboo stuff anyway, just like you did. The general idea is to not make such a big fuss about it that it turns into an obsession. A good education about what lurks on the chat programs might go a lot further in protecting your kids than any software. Once they are in their teens you can go a step further and set them to find predators and scammers. Show them how to report scammers to FaceBook, and how to report predators to the cops. The cops will quite cheerfully take over from there and nab the predators with a sting operation. If they are busy looking for and reporting scammers and predators, they won't fall for them. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to acess the popular "Google" search, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As she sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then started typing, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Artisan Country Bread By Holly805 [4 Posts, 5 Comments] Cook Time: 35-45 minutes Total Time: 2 hours Yield: 2-3 shaped loaves or 2 dozen rolls Source: I tweaked a standard French bread recipe over the years until the loaf was more nutritious, had a soft crust, and kept longer. A good recipe for true French bread is in The Secrets of Jesuit Breadmaking (1995) by Brother Rick Curry, S.J Ingredients: 2 tsp active dry yeast (1 package) 1/2 tsp sugar 3/4 cup warm water 1/2 cup warm milk 2 tsp salt 2 Tbsp canola oil 1 cup whole wheat flour 2 - 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour Tip: My mother told me to never use a plastic bowl or spoon when baking bread. Heavy duty ceramic is my favorite. Steel and glass also produce good results. Steps: Sprinkle sugar and yeast evenly over 1/4 cup warm water. The water should be almost hot to touch but not burning, like a bath. Stir until mostly dissolved, then set aside for 5 minutes to let the yeast rise. Add the remaining milk, water, salt, and the wheat flour. Whisk for 30 seconds to 1 minute until smooth and slightly elastic. Then beat in a cup of all-purpose flour and whisk for another 1 to 2 minutes until smooth. Using a sturdy mixing spoon, gradually beat in the remaining cup of flour. Knead dough slightly in the bowl to incorporate the rest of the flour. Note: the dough needs to come out of the bowl somewhat sticky so it doesn't become tough during the next stage of kneading. Reserve 1/4-1/2 cup flour. Turn out the dough onto a smooth, lightly floured surface and knead 8-12 minutes, until the dough's surface is smooth and bounces back under slight pressure from your finger. The dough should also indicate subtle air bubbles when gently pulled back under itself. Place dough into a large, lightly oiled bowl and turn to coat all sides. Cover and let rise in a warm area for about 1 hour, or until it has doubled in bulk. Punch dough down to let the air escape, then let it rest for about five minutes. Shape loaves and/or rolls as desired and place on lightly greased cookie sheet to rise a second time for about 30-40 minutes. The rolls/loaves should be just under twice the original size before they go into the oven. To make the pan brie loaf, simply cut half the dough and form into a rounded disk. Make 5 or 6 evenly spaced slashes with a serrated knife. They should be just 1/4 inch deep. You can also curve the two outer slashes to follow the form of the loaf. To form simple rolls, pinch off dough roughly half the size of a medium apple. Turn the rough edges under, gently stretching each corner under itself. Bake at 375 degrees F for 35-45 minutes, or until dark golden brown and hollow sounding when tapped.
Skiing the Matterhorn
____________________________________________________ A young woman confides to a friend that she wants to quit smoking, but nothing she does seems to work. "Have you tried the patch?" her friend asks. "No, that's one thing I haven't tried," the woman says, "because I'm not sure it works." Says her friend, "I'm sure it would, if you put it over your mouth." ____________________________________________________
An ancient underwater city was found off the coast of Israel.
The road maintenance foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
I guess withuot Gullible Warming it's too cold here for empty shirts. ____________________________________________________
Today on November 29
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a
militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400
peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and
had been given permission to camp. 

1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army-
Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 

1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the
rotary dial. 

1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made
by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 

1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland
prior to a Soviet attack. 

1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic
proclaimed. 

1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that
called for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews.

1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S.
with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth
twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 

1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7
crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes
after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed.
The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 

1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl
Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy.


1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced
that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become
president of the World Bank. 

1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican
Army became effective. 

1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he
and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer
language for the Altair. 

1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union
should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. The CIA was
training and supplying the Taliban to fight the Russians.

1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people
aboard. 

1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding
for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in
Oakdale, LA. 

1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal
defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail
to preserve potentially vital evidence. 

1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended
the party's 40-year monopoly on power. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military
action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and
release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 

1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a
dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 

1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its
airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin
demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 

1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen
Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre
of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international
war crimes sentence since World War II. 

1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin
and other narcotics. 

2004 The French government announced plans to build the
Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum
was the planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's
reserves. 

2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 9 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 66 )
Hot HP laptop 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Road rage face-off, one brother goes after other motorist,
then his brother tries to hit the other motorist with his
car, but misses and hits his own brother instead, cutting off
his leg.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 28 in 

1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. --- Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 A woman approached the minister after the sermon, and thanked him for his discourse. "I found it so helpful," she said. The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach." "Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman. "Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three years." ______________________________________________________ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Elmer Gonzalez, 44, Palm Beach, Floriduh Road rage face-off, one brother goes after other motorist, then his brother tries to hit the other motorist with his car, but misses and hits his own brother instead, cutting off his leg. Police say a fight broke out at the West Palm Beach, Florida, parking lot after Elmer Jacinto Gonzalez and his brother Rudy Gonzalez accused David Troche of cutting them off. Witnesses, who recorded the fight, told deputies the man didn’t want to fight the brothers. However, Rudy Gonzalez hit the man in the head and arm with a large, pipe-like object, witnesses told deputies, and in self-defense, the man took him to the ground. Elmer Gonzalez then got into his wife’s car and sped backward trying to hit the man, according to the sheriff’s office. The man jumped out of the way, leaving Rudy Gonzalez in the car’s path. He was thrown into a parked vehicle, deputies said. Cellphone footage shows Rudy and Troche tussling with each other, before Troche body slams him into the ground. Cellphone footage shows Rudy and Troche tussling with each other, before Troche body slams him into the ground. Rudy then chases after him swinging a two-by-four plank. Elmer gets behind the wheel of his car and shocking video shows him slam the car into reverse and back up while Troche and Rudy are arguing. Elmer misses Troche, but slams into his brother at great speed sending him flying backwards into another car. The impact severed Rudy's leg while the panicked Elmer drove forward, mounting the curb, before reversing and driving straight at Troche's black Dodge Charger. Troche's son, who had been a passenger in his car, was removed moments before impact and taken to a safe place while stunned bystanders called the cops. Elmer Gonzalez was arrested and now faces two counts of attempted murder Rudy Gonzalez was rushed to hospital in a critical condition with a severed leg. His current condition is unknown. His brother was arrested and now faces attempted murder charges. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Wendy Re: Hot HP laptop Dear Webby, Hi there. Purchased a HP laptop. It's awesome except for Windows 10 DUH! but my question is why does it get so hot? I took the battery out of it as I'm using it with regular power. Someone told me that I needed a 'cooling' mat but since a lot of people who know nothing give advice, I thot it best that I go to the head-honcho! Thanks for all your help in the past. Thank goodness we have someone to go to who hasn't got a dollar in the pie. Blessings and pray all is going well with your eyes. Wendy Dear Wendy If the laptop is new and sitting on a hard surface that allows air circulation under it, it should not get too hot. If you use a separate keyboard and have a pile of bills piled on the laptop, file them elsewhere. It needs to suck in fresh air through the keyboard. If the laptop is a few years old and has never been cleaned out, open it up and vacuum it out. Clean fans and heat-sinks with Q-tips and Windex until they are clean and shiny, or get somebody to do that for you. If you are running your laptop on top of your lap, or bed, or anything soft, put it onto a hard cutting board, so that air intakes underneath or on the sides are not obstructed. It's not a matter of software, just of air movement. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Gayle for this one: An American has an emergency and crash-lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is bandaged from head to foot. He sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot. "Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear. "No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You kaime here yisterdie."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Leftover Turkey In Gravy By Monica Adam [12 Posts, 28 Comments] I usually freeze the turkey in the gravy! That way the turkey stays moist. By Monica from Pingree Grove, IL
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. Also they track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 21 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. The solution is to give every illegal alien a cow. ____________________________________________________
Examples of crappy design.
1 - HER DIARY Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shoping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 5 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep I don't know what to do I'm sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. 2 - HIS DIARY Today the Leafs got knocked out of the playoffs, don't know how I am going to pay all my lost bets. But at least I got laid.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 28
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the
Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American
strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first
European to sail the Pacific from the east. 

1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 

1757 English poet, painter and engraver William Blake was
born. Two of his best known works are "Songs of Innocence"
and "Songs of Experience." 

1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female
member of the British Parliament. 

1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first
public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA.
Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 

1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 

1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed
the Coconut Grove. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime
Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin
met in Tehran to map out strategy concerning World War II. 

1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic
within the French community. 

1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral
would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated
predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in
1973 by a vote of residents. 

1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape
Kennedy on a course set for Mars. 

1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 

1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole
crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 

1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9
Spacelab in its cargo bay. 

1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord
concerning Northern Ireland. 

1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the
Indian Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 

1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York
after escaping her homeland through Hungary. 

1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain.


1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies
were to be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 

1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant
gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and
injuring 20. 

1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed
to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 

1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill
that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 

2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S.
diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or
"confidential." 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ]   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 48 )
Pictures not showing on FireFox 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Girl, 11, Finds Wanted Man Hiding Inside 
Her Bedroom Closet
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 26 in 

1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor
of the metric Celsius thermometer. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) The louder she talked of her honor, the faster we counted our spoons. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young minister, in his first days at his first parish, is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home, he stands before the open casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is only the husk, the shell. The nut has gone to heaven." ------------ Lots of nuts up there! ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The two women just won't leave the poor man alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the right!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car, anyway, you or your mother?" ______________________________________________________ A math teacher is instructing her class in multiplication and gives the students a problem to solve. "Now class," she says. "We know there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. So who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" All the kids look baffled by the question except one little fellow sitting in the back row. He raises his hand and waves it excitedly, and the teacher points to him. "All right, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asks. "Twelve, ma'am," the little fellow says brightly. "January second, February second, March second ..." ______________________________________________________ © Christian Chevalier 2006 From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Race Cox, 26, Ardmore, Oklahoma Girl, 11, Finds Wanted Man Hiding Inside Her Bedroom Closet A girl from Oklahoma can’t stop thinking about the terrifying moment she found a wanted man hiding inside her bedroom closet. “Every time I come in my closet or my room or my bathroom, anywhere, I just think about it and like I remember how scary it was,” 11-year-old Presley Brown said. Presley was playing on her cell phone in her Ardmore home last Monday when she spotted Race Cox’s reflection in the mirror. The 26-year-old man, who fled from police on Sunday after officers tried to arrest him on two felony warrants, emerged from between her clothes and said: “Don’t be scared, little girl.” “I started screaming bloody murder,” Presley told KFOR. Police were searching for Race Cox on two felony warrants before he broke into the family’s home. Presley’s parents heard her cries and came running. Her mother, Monica Brown, found Presley crying in the hallway. Her father, who was not identified, grabbed Cox, but he got away after a brief scuffle and fled with $100 of Presley’s birthday money. Police spotted Cox walking along a nearby street the following morning and arrested him on the outstanding warrants, plus two more charges of burglary and escape from arrest. It’s not clear what Cox was originally wanted for, but he remains in Carter County Jail on $40,000 bond. Brown was thankful the incident didn’t take an even more terrifying turn. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Joanne Re: Pictures not showing in FF Dear Webby, I write my pages with FrontPage and fix them by hand. They look OK when I view them, but friends and customers tell me that most of the pictures don't show on FireFox. They also tell me that most of my links don't work. What's the problem with FireFox ? Joanne Dear Joanne It is not a problem with Firefox. It is a problem with you, FrontPage and MSIE not being up to standard. The international standards, which were set and agreed upon long before MSIE came out, stipulate that file names on the net are NOT to have empty spaces in them. Many years later, when Microsoft finally wrote MSIE, they decided that their users would be too dumb to remember that, and made it so that MSIE and FrontPage let you get away with spaces inside of names (and a few other assorted bits of sloppiness). Firefox and all the other browsers stuck to the standards. You will have to first change the file names of the pictures and the pages that you link to, and then fix all the links and picture calls. I realize, that may seem as much of a nuisance to you as if you had been told as a kid that you could bicycle on any side of the road, and now all of a sudden the big meanies tell you, with a car you have to stick to the standard, and drive on ONLY on the agreed upon side of the road. Pouting at the agreed upon standards won't help you. If you want your links and pictures to work right on all browsers, then you'll have to bring their names up to standard. Have FUN! DearWebby
An extremely shy fellow brings his date a bouquet of flowers. She's so overcome she throws her arms around him and kisses him long and hard. After the kiss, red-faced, he turns and bolts for the door. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't," he replies. "I'm just running down to the cemetery for more flowers!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Turkey Broccoli Bake By Robin [5,891 Posts, 29 Comments] A good recipe for you to make use of your leftover turkey! Ingredients: 2 (10 oz) pkgs. chopped broccoli 1 Tbsp. lemon juice 2 Tbsp. butter 2 Tbsp. flour 2 cups milk 1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese 2 cups cooked turkey 1/2 cup bread crumbs 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese 1 Tbsp. melted butter Directions: Cook broccoli until half done, and drain. Mix with lemon juice and spread in 9 inch round baking pan. Melt 2 tablespoons butter and blend in flour; add milk. Cook, stirring constantly until mixture thickens. Remove from heat and stir in Swiss cheese. Cut turkey in strips, and add to cheese sauce. Spoon mixture over broccoli. Combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese and melted butter and sprinkle crumbs over casserole. Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes or until heated through. Servings:6 Prep Time:20-30 Minutes Cooking Time:20-25 Minutes By Robin from Washington, IA
____________________________________________________ A driver pulls up beside a farmhouse in eastern Nebraska. He gets out and knocks at the door. An old woman answers, and the driver asks her for directions to Des Moines, Iowa. "Don't know," the woman says. The driver gets back in his car and pulls away. Then he hears voices. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees the woman and a man of about the same age waving for him to come back. He makes a U-turn and drives back to them. "This is my husband," the old woman says. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either." ____________________________________________________
Examples of crappy design.
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all of them!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 27
1684 Japan's shogun Yoshimune Tokugawa was born. 

1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor
of the Celsius thermometer. 

1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an
automobile through Central Park in New York City. 

1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC. 

1934 U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was killed by
FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 

1939 The play "Key Largo," by Maxwell Anderson, opened in New
York. 

1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at
the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a
priest. 

1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice
president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 

1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor
Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside
City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 

1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines
Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 

1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish
accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of
British-ruled Northern Ireland. 

1987 French hostages Jean-Louis Normandin and Roger Auque
were set free by their pro-Iranian captors in West Beirut,
Lebanon. 

1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian
jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's
international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug
traffickers. 

1991 The UN Security Council unanimously adopted a resolution
that led the way for the establishment of a UN peacekeeping
operation in Yugoslavia. 

1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow
President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten
months. 

2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of
service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on
September 20, 1967. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 46 )
Selective screen capture 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman, 32, Arrested For Distributing Naked 
Photos Of Her Ex-Husband
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 26 in 

1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on
display in Boston, MA. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say the blessing when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that I have asked for a blessing on all this stuff before." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 According to statistics, last year over 19 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were college students. ______________________________________________________ "Volvo says its new car, the YCC, is the first car designed and developed exclusively by women, for women. They say it is safe, it is fuel-efficient, and the exterior is designed to always make the trunk look as small as possible." --- Jay Leno ______________________________________________________ Cardinal Gynandromorph ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eva Gaitan, 32, Palm Harbor, Floriduh Florida woman, 32, Arrested For Distributing Naked Photos Of Her Ex-Husband The 32-year-old Floridian is jailed on a stalking charge after she allegedly distributed naked photos of her ex- husband to the man’s employer and parents. Gaitan was arrested yesterday on the misdemeanor charge at the Palm Harbor home she once shared with her ex-spouse. The couple's marriage was dissolved in February, according to court records. Police allege that Gaitan “mailed a CD of the nude images to her ex-husband’s parents” and hand delivered “packages of CDs” to her former husband’s workplace. The CDs were labeled “Requires Immediate Attention.” Gaitan, investigators charge, obtained the explicit photos “from her ex-husband’s flash drive.” In a post-arrest interview, Gaitan reportedly confessed to “burning the images to discs” and then distributing the CDs. Gaitan, who has pleaded not guilty, is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $1000 bond. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with her ex-husband. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Fran Re: Selective screen capture Dear Webby, I think you might have answered this before, but I can't find it. How do I capture just the active window, not the entire screen ? Thanks Fran Dear Fran Try ALT and the PrintScreen key. Then jump to your graphics program, and hit CTRL V to paste it. Have FUN! DearWebby
The showers in Jo's daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of Jo's daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. Jo was explaining how her daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly they heard the daughter scream out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Good grief," said Jo's friend, "How much more do you want to know?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easily Root Flower and Tree Cuttings By poehere [36 Posts, 44 Comments] Many people here on the islands love the flowers and trees I grow in my garden. However, each time I give them a cutting they can start growing in their garden they seem to die. Therefore, I want to share with you a simple way to root cuttings from different flowers or trees that you can plant in your garden. Material Needed: recycled floral sponge foam recycled food trays old kitchen knife cuttings from different flowers and plants recycled cutting board Directions: Clean your old food trays or microwaveable trays with soap and water. Recover all the floral sponge foam from your different floral arrangements. On your cutting board sit the food tray and a block of floral sponge foam. Measure the foam to fit inside the recycled food tray. Use an old kitchen knife to cut the foam down the middle first and then around the sides. The foam needs to sit tightly in the bottom of the recycled food tray. Cut the foam into 6 to 8 evenly sized pieces. Remove the leaves from the bottom of your cutting and gently push the branch into the foam in your recycled tray. Fill the bottom of the tray with water and set the tray in an area that doesn't receive too much sun. Within one to two weeks, you will start to see the root growing from the bottom of the branches. Make sure you keep the foam wet at all times. Each day I fill the bottom of my trays half way full with water. This keeps the foam wet and allows the branches to grow roots. After the roots have grown through the foam it is time to plant your cuttings. Remove the branch from the tray, foam and all. Place dirt in the bottom of your pot and sit the foam in the middle of the dirt. Finish filling the pot with dirt. For the first two to three weeks allow the newly potted cutting to receive moderate sunlight. After you see new leaves growing on your branch you can move the flower pot to another area in your garden.
And he was sooo helpful :D
____________________________________________________ Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to." Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Con- gratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!" Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?" ____________________________________________________ A young man from the city goes to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle shows him the usual things, the livestock, the crops. After three days, however, it is obvious that the nephew is getting bored, and the uncle is running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle has an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seems to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he goes. After a few hours, the nephew returns. "How did you enjoy that?" his uncle asks. "It was great," the nephew says. "I kinda like those dogs, so I took the cats instead. Got any more cats?" ____________________________________________________ At the Thanksgiving barbecue a lady stood up and said that it was time to get ready for the celebrations. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every man to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The poor barmaid was almost crushed to death. ____________________________________________________
Highlights from the 2016 National Geographic Nature Photographer of the Year Contest
Thanks to Barb for this one: My kids never understood my logic. Both of them failed to see why they had to go to bed when I was tired.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 26

1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on
display in Boston, MA. 

1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe
the adoption of the Constitution of the United States. 

1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City. 

1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. 

1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed
in Montreal, Canada. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King
Tutankhamen. 

1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to live
within a walled ghetto. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide
gasoline rationing to begin December 1. 

1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere
at the Hollywood Theater in New York City. 

1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a
guided missile. The German missile attack led to the death of
1,015 U.S. troops. 

1949 India's Constituent Assembly adopted the country's
constitution The country became republic within the British
Commonwealth two months later. 

1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to
retreat. 

1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th
NHL career goal. 

1965 France became the third country to enter space when it
launched its first satellite the Diamant-A. 

1973 Rose Mary Woods, told a federal court that she was
responsible for the 18-1/2 minute gap in a key Watergate
tape. Woods was U.S. President Nixon's personal secretary. 

1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal
jury in Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S.
President Ford on September 5. 

1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit
China after a 21-year absence. 

1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was
robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth
nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been
recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist. 

1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were
acquired by Random House for $3,000,000. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed by
former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National Security
Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair. 

1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser
Arafat, who was seeking permission to travel to New York to
address the U.N. General Assembly. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi
Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that
Iraq withdraw from Kuwait. 

1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire MCA
Inc. for $6.6 billion. 

1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II
had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income.
She also took her children off the public payroll. 

1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn
borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally
burned. 

1998 British Prime Minister Tony Blair made a speech to the
Irish Parliament. It was a first time event for a British
Prime Minister. 

1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro
wrestling and would run for president in 2000. 

2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that
censured Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it
would be policed to put to rest suspicions that the country
had a weapons agenda. 

2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft
launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars
rover Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August
6, 2012. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 130 )
Caps Lock nuisance 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 25
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman assaults and chokes police officer 
with undergarment
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 24 in 

1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be
granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian
corn. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. --- Andy Rooney (1919 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A passenger jet is taxiing down the runway when it stops abruptly, turns around and returns to the gate. After an hour-long wait, the plane finally pulls out again, rolls down the runway and takes off. A concerned passenger asks the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," the attendant explains, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot." --------------------- No kidding, but something similar happened to me on Sept 14, 2001, the first day the planes flew again after 9/11. After the plane was loaded and everybody was seated with their seatbelts on, Air Canada found out that the pilot had chickened out and deserted. We sat there in the plane at the gate for over two hours until they found another pilot. I have not flown with or recommended that airline since. ______________________________________________________ A couple is in a Lamaze class, and during one session the husband is given a bag of sand to wear around his middle to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. After cinching it around his waist, he stands up and says, "This doesn't feel so bad." In response, the instructor drops a pen and asks the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asks. "Exactly," the instructor says. The man turns to his wife and says, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." ______________________________________________________ A man appeared at a woman's front door and announces, "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't send for a tuner," the piano-playing woman replied. "I know, lady," the man said. "Your neighbor did." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Angel Muttlea, 21, Fort Pierce, Florida Florida woman assaults and chokes police officer with undergarment Angel Muttlea, 21, was arrested by Fort Pierce police Oct. 30 in connection with the underwear imbroglio. A woman accused of apparently trying to choke a police officer with a “woman’s undergarment” was arrested, according to an affidavit. The incident at Lawnwood Regional Medical Center & Heart Institute happened as an officer stood near a bathroom. A woman later identified as Muttlea “threw over my head a black woman’s undergarment,” the affidavit states. “The garment then went around my neck and she began to pull back obstructing my airway,” the affidavit states. “I fell back to the ground with Muttlea and the garment still wrapped around my neck.” Muttlea dropped the undergarment, which appeared similar to a slip. Then she ate a rubber glove that was on the ground. Muttlea, of Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including aggravated battery on officer and resist officer obstruct without violence charges. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Darlene Re: Caps Lock Dear Webby, Is there a way to permanently disable the Caps Lock key ? I never use it anyway and now, after breaking my pinky and having it taped to the ring finger for support, it's an even worse nuisance. And NO, id don't want some silly sound reminding me I hit the Caps Lock. I want it disabled. For good! Thanks Darlene Dear Darlene Just take a spoon and pry of the key cap for the Caps Lock, and throw it away. Or you can glue it onto the coin operated copy machine at Walmart or Staples. Have FUN! DearWebby
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a woman in her 20s and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asks a friend. "With her, your chances are better," says the friend, "if you tell her you're 90, with a heart problem."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing White Marks from Wood Table By Hunnypuppy [2 Comments] I would like to offer a correction to the answers here. The root cause of the "cloudy" white stain on wood tables caused by hot plates is the moisture that is trapped within the varnish on the table. This is specially for really hard old reclaimed wood tables (teak, casuani, etc). These tables are typically finished with "oil" varnish or polish and not water. Now I tried everything from hot iron to baking soda and everything else in between. The one thing that made is worse was using a steam iron. That's because with steam it caused the oil polish on the table trap more moisture and it made it worse (like others have also seen if you google). The trick is to get the moisture out. So with a water based finish using a simple iron on low heat works great. However after 4 hours I realized that for oil based polish you need a very hot iron and a kitchen towel. This is very important because unlike water polish with oil polish I realized I need to get the table extremely hot and then it "pushes" the water out of the table (yes you can see beads of it) and the towel should soak it up right away otherwise it goes back. So to summarize for oil based finishes you need a dry iron at max temp out on a kitchen towel on the table and left there for about 20-30 seconds on each spot and then wipe off the water beads right away. Repeat until no more water comes out. This is different from water based finish. Do NOT use a steam iron on a oil based finish. Hope this helps.
The One Moment - super cool
____________________________________________________ A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident in which a car has smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?" "How do I know?" the driver responds. "I'm not a lawyer." ____________________________________________________ Porridge: Budget conscious parent will tell you that it is a traditional, nutritious, lovingly prepared hot cereal breakfast dish. Kids will tell you that the name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE." ____________________________________________________
Hilarious signs
An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings that are on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replies. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 25

1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be
granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian
corn. 

1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured
Fort Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh. 

1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated New
York. New York was their last military position in the U.S. 

1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom. 

1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in
exchange for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public
debts and settle border disputes. 

1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite. 

1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk. 

1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and
Germany, was signed. 

1952 Agatha Christie's "The Mousetrap" opened in London. 

1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned
racial segregation on interstate trains and buses. 

1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower suffered a stroke. 

1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide
after giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war
constitution. 

1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in
military coup. 

1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against
the Detroit Lions. 

1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a cease-
fire in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon. 

1985 Ronald W. Pelton was arrested on espionage charges.
Pelton was a former employee of the National Security Agency.
He was later convicted of 'selling secrets' to Soviet
agents.

1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese
revealed that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had been
diverted to rebels in Nicaragua. National Security Advisor
John Poindexter resigned and Oliver North was fired. 

1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election. 

1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into
separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1,
1993. 

1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt on
his life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants near
his motorcade. 

1995 Serbs protested in the streets of the Bosnian capital
Sarajevo The protest was against a peace plan. 

1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean
dictator Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought
by Spain, could not claim immunity from prosecution for the
crimes he committed during his rule. 

1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first
visit to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II.


1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5
billion bailout for Pakistan.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 6 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 65 )
Scroll lock key 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 24
Happy Thanksgiving, if you are in the US!

Thank you, Gene!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman stalks and shoots while life streaming
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 24 in 

1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. 
They were both 14 years old. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) The United States Congress, like a lot of rich people, lives in two houses. --- John Green "Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take." --- Lothar Kaul "If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's consulting; if you actually use either one, it's a miracle." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Baseball in the Bible? It all started "In the Big Inning." Eve stole first. Adam stole second. Abraham made a sacrifice. Jacob struck out. The prodigal son made a home run. Everybody played baseball until the fall of the Roam Umpire. ______________________________________________________ Clint was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Clint came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?" "Well, your honor," replied Clint, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole." ______________________________________________________ The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. ______________________________________________________ The SHE-tree ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kendra J. McNish, 24, Gainesville, Florida Florida woman stalks and shoots while life streaming After arguing with her significant other's ex-girlfriend for two days on Facebook, Kendra McNish threatened the woman via a Facebook live stream, police said, before shooting twice into a random man's apartment. By Nicole Wiesenthal Correspondent A woman used Facebook Live on Sunday, police say, to send a video notification of her dislike to her significant other's ex-girlfriend, before shooting into a random victim's apartment. Kendra J. McNish, 24, of 1111 NE 24th St. in Gainesville, was arrested Sunday after she created a Facebook Live video as she followed a woman to an apartment, making threats and preparing to shoot a gun, a report said. McNish was charged with shooting a deadly missile into a dwelling and aggravated stalking, a Gainesville Police report said. She fired two shots into the victim's apartment. McNish had been arguing for two days through Facebook with her significant other’s ex, a report said, and Sunday, McNish created a live stream video in which she traveled from the Northwest Sixth Street area where she works to the location she believed was the home of the person she'd argued with, police said. In the video, McNish advised her intended victim: “I’m on my way to your house … so you can do whatever the f**k you need to do," "call the cops ... I'm about to pull up," and that she’d let the woman "slide" too many times. McNish entered the apartment complex at 309 SW 16th Ave. where she believed the woman lived. The officer who reviewed the Facebook live video noted that McNish is shown entering the complex, and then the audio captured the sound of a zipper being pulled, and what the officer described as "the distinct sound of a firearm slide being racked." The camera is placed in an area that obstructs the view, the report said, and the video ends shortly after, but not before a shot that shows McNish outside the apartment building. The woman McNish was trying to find received word of the threatening video, looked outside and heard what sounded like two gunshots. The rounds from the gun went through some man’s residence in the complex through his front door and into his wall while he was sitting inside, the report said. McNish, whose occupation was listed on her arrest report as stylist, was detained at Blys School of Cosmetology on Northwest Sixth Street. She told police she didn't know anything about a shooting, and after more questioning, police said she told them "this situation is funny" and asked for a lawyer. McNish remained in the Alachua County Jail Monday in lieu of an $8,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Brad Re: Scroll Lock Dear Webby, What is the scroll lock key for ? Is that just some old legacy stuff ? Brad Dear Brad The Scroll lock is mostly just for spreadsheet and database work. When you hit that, and then scroll with the arrow keys or the tilt wheelm of the mouse, you move the spreadsheet, not the highlighted cell. Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Removing Labels from Plastic Containers By Lyn Barrett H. [2 Posts] 7 found this helpful Use a hair dryer. Move it over label for a few minutes on warm, then turn dryer off. Start to peel from one corner. It should peel easily. If there is any residue left, use a cotton bud with a little eucalyptus oil. That will dissolve it. Wash in soapy water to clear any smell of the oil. By Lyn from Bowen, Australia Anonymous Take top off from pill bottle put in microwave for 30 seconds. Label comes right off.
The One Moment - super cool
____________________________________________________ The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, as the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why? "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed." ____________________________________________________ Angus McInnes is dying. On his deathbed, he looks up and says: "Is my wife here?" "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you," his wife replies. "Are my children here?" he asks. "Yes, daddy, we are all here." "And my other relatives? Are they also here?" "Yes, we are all here," says one. "Then why is the light on in the kitchen?" ____________________________________________________
This is just weird.
A couple are asleep in their beds late one night, when the wife thinks she hears a noise downstairs. She nudges her husband and whispers, "Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" he asks. "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the broccoli casserole I made tonight." "That'll teach them!" says the husband.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 24
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were
both 14 years old. 

1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained
his theory of evolution through the process of natural
selection. 

1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain
began in Tennessee. 

1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the
U.S. 

1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed
fencing material. 

1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric
self-starter for an automobile. 

1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland.
Over the next three years the population dropped from 350,000
to 70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to
concentration camps. 

1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese
capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 

1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress
for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist
influence in their industry. 

1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee
Harvey Oswald live on national television. 

1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an
end to the second manned mission to the moon. 

1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted
from a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with
$200,000 in ransom. 

1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six
Israeli prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500
Palestinians and Lebanese held by the Israelis. 

1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian
jetliner. 60 people died in the raid. 

1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and
medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to
eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 

1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned
after more than a week of protests against its policies. 

1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141
people. 

1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old)
were convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of
Liverpool, England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite
detention" and released six years later. 

1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a
constitutional amendment legalizing divorce. 

1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in
Japan. 

1996 Barry Sanders (Detroit Lions) set an NFL record when he
recorded his eighth straight 1,000-yard season. 

1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase
of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed Netscape and used
IE. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.7 / 166 )
Screen won't open fully 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida burglar hit by woman with with metal rod after
she caught him ransacking her apartment.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 21 in 

1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. --- Gloria Borger ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the most part accepted by the congregation. His mentor - a "higher ranking" priest came for a visit - to see how he was doing. After looking the parish over, the senior priest said, "Father John, your idea of a drive through confessional is wonderful. That makes it convenient for your church members. And, Father John, it was a really good idea to have the confessional open 24 hours a day, for those who do shift work. However, Father John... that flashing neon sign that says "TOOT and TELL or GO to HELL" ... well, that has to go. ______________________________________________________ A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "We'll wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!" ______________________________________________________ This was heard on a public transportation vehicle while in Orlando. "When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ebert Caballero, 25, Miamio-Dade County, Florida Florida burglar hit by woman with with metal rod after she caught him ransacking her apartment. A South Florida woman attacked a burglar Sunday afternoon after she caught him ransacking her apartment, authorities said. The incident was reported just before 2 p.m. at the Futura Condominiums at 401 NW 72nd Ave. According to an arrest report, the victim was walking toward her apartment with her daughter and her daughter's babysitter when they noticed that the front door was open. Police said the babysitter and the girl went inside, saw Ebert Caballero, 25, searching through the girl's bedroom and ran outside screaming, "there's a man in the house." The mother, armed with a silver rod, went inside and saw Caballero inside her bedroom with her safe open and money in his hand, the report said. The woman told detectives that she had $500 inside the safe. Police said the woman struck Caballero with the rod, rattling his marbles and causing a cut on his ear. Police said Caballero dropped the money and a knife on the woman's bed and ran outside. A neighbor who heard the commotion went outside and held Caballero down until police arrived. Caballero was arrested on charges of grand theft and armed burglary. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Daniel Re: Screen won't open fully Dear Webby, my screen won't open full left to right.top to bottom is good.is there a fix for this daniel Dear Daniel Sounds like your settings are for old style 4:3 ratio, not the sawed off modern style. Go into settings and pick a different one until you like what you get. It lets you preview each setting, and unless you tell it that you want to keep what you are trying, it will automatically go back to what you had before. Once you have a setting, that you like, write it down. Chances are that whatever game changed the settings on you, will do it again. Then you will need those numbers again. Have FUN! DearWebby
Groan Alert: Ben Kenobi and Luke Flyswatter are having a Chinese supper. Ben picks up the chopsticks and starts eating. Luke is having problems, there is food over his face, his clothes, and the table, but not much in his mouth. "What should I do?" he asks Ben. "Use the forks, Luke!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Secretly Budget Pasta By attosa [256 Posts, 572 Comments] I call this Secretly Budget Pasta because I make it when I'm short on funds. This recipe is super quick and cheap, but the outcome is something fancy and delicious. Enjoy! Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 17 minutes Total Time: 22 minutes Yield: 2 servings Ingredients: 1/2 onion, sliced 1 crown broccoli, cut into pieces 1 cup mushrooms, sliced 1 large tomato, diced 1 large garlic clove, minced spaghetti or any pasta for two 1 Tbsp chicken or beef granulated stock Steps: Bring a pot of water to boil. Cook spaghetti as directed to al dente. Secretly Budget Pasta Warm up a pan to medium high with a bit of oil. Add all your vegetables except for the tomato. Fry until lightly browned and softened, about 5 minutes, Stir often. Drain pasta but reserve the water it was boiled in. Add pasta to vegetables. Add the granulated stock and the diced tomato. Add some of the reserved pasta water to the mix a tablespoon at a time. The starch in the water helps create a beautiful thick sauce, and picks up all the yummy browned vegetable bits at the bottom of your pan. To finish up, add salt and pepper to taste. I like mine with a bit of cheese and hot sauce. ;)
I think he failed the test :)
____________________________________________________ My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where the hell I am now? ____________________________________________________ "We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce." ____________________________________________________
It takes a brave soul to explore the unknown corners of the Earth and it was a very brave man who explored Mammoth Cave in Kentucky.
Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device, wanted to know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and exasperating study the researchers came to their conclusion as to the origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented in Maine. Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was simple deduction, "If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 23
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act. 

1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing
machine. 

1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at
the Palais Royale Saloon. 

1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands at
the age of 10 when her father William III died. 

1936 The first edition of "Life" was published. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of
Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific
offensive in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended. 

1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens. 

1946 Mound Metalcraft changed its name to Tonka Toys
Incorporated. 

1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital
from Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo. 

1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United
Nations Security Council. 

1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life
imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten. 

1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were
killed in a series of earthquakes. 

1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West
Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International
Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva. 

1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested
and accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a year
after his conviction. 

1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from
Athens to Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta. 

1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League
(NHL) goal. 

1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she
had witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two other
people at the Jose Simeon Canas University in El Salvador,
was flown to the U.S. 

1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were killed
in a stampede after Indian police baton-charged tribal
protesters in the western city of Nagpur. 

1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen
Electra. The two had been married on November 14, 1998. 

1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil
settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve remaining
state claims for treating sick smokers. 

1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's effort
to block pornography on library computer calling the attempt
unconstitutional. 

2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 53 )
Eudora slowdown fixed 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 22
Thank you, William

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Teacher worse than Bonehead
Heartbreaking moment: Autistic boy, six, is left sobbing when
a teacher snatches the microphone from him as he's about to
say his line in the school play
Read more


Todays regular Bonehead Award:
4 charged after man beaten following car crash as 
bystanders yelled anti-Trump taunts
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 21 in 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in
a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally
was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson
was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Lack of money is the root of all evil. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Noella When Trump won the election, he made history: He is the first man to win an argument with a woman. ______________________________________________________ Los Angeles: Rain Returned Sunday Night And Caused A 570% Rise In Freeway Crashes ______________________________________________________ He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently converted and now on fire for the Lord. He was constantly pestering the pastor to give him some work that would be helpful to the church. Finally the pastor agreed. He gave the man a list of ten people who hadn't been in church for years nor made any financial contribution. Some of these were quite prominent in the community. The pastor said, "What I want you to do is get these people back to church, however you can. You can use church stationery if you want, but get these people back to church." Three weeks later the pastor got an envelope in the mail from a prominent doctor whose name had been on the list, along with a check for $1,000 and a note that read, "Dear Pastor, Please excuse my inactivity at church. I really have no excuse. Accept this check as a partial contribution for all the Sundays I've missed, and be assured I will never, by choice, miss worship again. Sincerely, J. B. Jones, M.D. P.S. - Will you kindly tell your secretary that there is only one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk?" ______________________________________________________ Just Married! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Julian Christian, 26, Dejuan Collins, 20, Rajane Lewis, 21, an unidentified 17-year-old Chicago, Illinois 4 charged after man beaten following car crash as bystanders yelled anti-Trump taunts Four people have been charged after a man was punched and kicked as a crowd yelled, “Don’t vote Trump," a day after the presidential election, police said. Julian Christian, 26, of the 2500 block of 14th Avenue in Broadview, Dejuan Collins, 20, of the 9500 block of South Avalon Avenue in Chicago, Rajane Lewis, 21, of the 7800 block of South Euclid Avenue in Chicago, and a 17-year-old girl who is charged as a juvenile, were each charged with one felony count of vehicular hijacking, police said. A video of the incident went viral and the victim, 49-year- old David Wilcox, acknowledged he supports Donald Trump but said that's not what started the beating on the West Side. Wilcox said he was about to turn left from Kedzie Avenue to Roosevelt Road around 1 p.m. Nov. 9 when a black sedan pulled up and scraped the right side of his Pontiac Bonneville. "I stopped and parked. And I asked if they had insurance, and the next thing that I knew they were beating the s--- out of me," Wilcox said. Police said the four were identified as the people responsible for striking a man during a traffic altercation. The man was then dragged as he held on to the window of the vehicle. He was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital and was treated and released, police said. Because of the videos shown worldwide the Chicago cops had to arrest and charge the criminals. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Bill Re: Eudora fixed Dear Webby, Once again you have solved my problem. I couldn't believe the number of e-mails in "Trash". Everything is back to normal. Thanks again, Bill Have FUN! DearWebby
Some engineers from the U.S.G.S. surveyed some property and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but in New Hampshire. After a long pause, he grunted and said, "That's good. I couldn't take another one of these Maine winters anyway."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Elastic Band Across Paint Pot By ShirleyE [117 Posts, 66 Comments] By simply wrapping an elastic band around your paint pot, you can save yourself a lot of mess. This has two useful purposes. You can rest the brush on it and you can wipe off excess paint. In both cases, the paint will drip directly back into the pot instead of making a mess of the sides of the can.
Thunderstruck
____________________________________________________ There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be "called" to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATE!!!" ____________________________________________________ A man goes to a clinic early on a Monday morning and asks to see a doctor. He appears to be in great pain, and his hands are in bandages. The nurse looks at him sympathetically. "Arthritis, with complications?" she asks. "No," groans the man. "Do-it-yourself, with concrete blocks." ------------ The best way to heal hands damaged by concrete and concrete block work is to do dishes, without gloves, of course. Then wear a fresh pair of work gloves the next day. I have built three houses in the Yukon and found out that trick really works. ____________________________________________________
Scrap metal super cars.
"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the cute salesgirl, "but I don't know her size." "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours." "Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried as she wrapped the gloves. "Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 22

1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and
Poland for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 

1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was
killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina.
British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him.
He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 

1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated
in New Jersey. 

1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin
adopted the SOS distress signal. 

1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood
shafts in golf clubs. 

1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed
publicly. 

1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda,
CA, when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for
Manila. The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 

1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime
Minister Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek
met in Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating Japan. 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in
a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally
was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson
was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 

1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The
resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it
had captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize
Israel's right to exist. 

1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American
travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8,
1963. 

1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation
Organization observer status. 

1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the
death of Gen. Francisco Franco. 

1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC
paid $4 million for the broadcast rights. 

1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between
New York and Europe. 

1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S.
nuclear missiles in West Germany. 

1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day
after her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for
spying for Israel. 

1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States.
It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 

1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential
area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 

1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in
Colonel Oliver North's office that included an amount of
money to be sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons
sales to Iran. 

1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world
heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months
old. 

1988 The South African government announced it had joined
Cuba and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops
from Angola. 

1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated
less than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that
exploded next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and
other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with
U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 

1990 British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher announced she
would resign. 

1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North
American Free Trade Agreement. 

1993 American Airlines flight attendants ended their strike
that only lasted four days. 

1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a
gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the
gunman were killed in the gun battle. 

1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire
in response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 

1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving
lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill
patient. Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison
for second-degree murder. 

2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female
chancellor. 

2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 

2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The
dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in
eastern Utah. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 344 )
What to do when Eudora slows down? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Houston teacher, 24, got pregnant after sleeping with 
her 13 year old student daily for a year
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 21 in 

1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air
balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois
Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5½ miles
over Paris. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world. --- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957) The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. --- Herbert Spencer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are thousandths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, that it is kosher." ______________________________________________________ Getting nippy! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alexandria Vera, 24, Houston, Texas Houston teacher, 24, got pregnant after sleeping with her 13 year old student daily for a year Teacher, 24, who was pregnant with her 13-year-old student's baby before having an abortion, pleads guilty as part of a deal to avoid being jailed for life A former middle school teacher who got pregnant after sleeping with her 13-year-old student has pleaded guilty to sexual assault as part of a deal to avoid being jailed for life. Alexandria Vera, 24, appeared in Houston court on Wednesday, and accepted a charge of aggravated sexual assault of a child. The charge carries a potential sentence of life in prison, however Vera's possible punishment was capped at 30 years as part of her deal, KHOU reports. Her lawyer, Ricardo Rodriguez, told reporters he is also 'hoping for deferred adjudication', according to the Houston Chronicle. A deferred adjudication could mean Vera does not have a conviction recorded, providing she met requirements put in place by the court. Court documents state the boy's parents were allegedly aware of the relationship and accepting of it. Vera told investigators her victim's parents were, 'very supportive and excited' once they learned of the pregnancy in January. However, the former teacher had an abortion after being questioned by Child Protective Services, court papers claim. Vera, who has a four-year-old daughter, has been out on $100,000 bail since her arraignment in June this year, but was ordered to wear a GPS monitor, stay away from minors and prohibited from going online at home. She was also put on a court-mandated curfew between 8pm and 7am at the time. The 24-year-old will be sentenced in January. The now-14-year-old student has been placed in foster care until at least August next year. The case was uncovered after CPS received a tip-off about the relationship. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Bill Re: Eudora has slowed down Dear Webby, We have both been using Eudora for years and love the program. Recently, it has been freezing with a "not responding" message when I click on a URL or try to delete a message. I have made no changes to my system, Windows 7. Also, I can't bring up Task Manager while Eudora is acting snotty. After several minutes, things get back to normal and I can continue. Hoping that you can help with this problem, as you always have in the past, Bill Dear Bill Reduce the number of mails in your IN, OUT and TRASH mailboxes. By the way, it is not Eudora acting snotty. It is Windows assigning Eudora a low priority. It has to wait until it gets a turn at the processor after all the stuff Windows gives higher priorities to. You can't change that. All you can do is make the mail boxes smaller, so that when Eudora finally does get a turn, it can get it's work done faster. There is usually a lot of stuff you can safely delete. If a family member spends time on FaceBook, then they probably get all kinds of mails duplicating messages they already got online. Just do a FIND (Ctrl F) and search in the IN box for any mail that has "Facebook" anywhere in the mail. It will probably find a few thousand of them. You can either put them into a new mailbox ALT R, N or into the Trash. Either way, if nobody complains in a week, dump them. The same with LinkedIn. Nobody looks at old mails from Linkedin. Anything that you barely glance at when it comes in and never look at it again later, collect them with CTRL F and get rid of them. After you have trimmed the main mailboxes down, Eudora will again run at the speed, that you have been accustomed to. Have FUN! DearWebby
A woman walked up to the manager of a Walmart store. "Are you hiring any help?" she asked. "No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need." "In that case, would you mind trying to find someone to help me in sporting goods?" she asked.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Dumplings for Soup By kathleen williams [76 Posts, 1,658 Comments] Did you know you can freeze dumplings? I make homemade dumplings. I roll them out flat, put them in the baking pan I bake biscuits in, let them freeze, then put them in an empty plastic cereal bag. I roll the top down and close it with a clothes pin. When ready to use them, get the broth you will use boiling hot. Break the dumplings into pieces, about an inch square, and drop into broth. This saves lot of time. Good luck. By Kathleen from Dothan, AL
monkey laughs at magic trick
____________________________________________________ Country Living Advice Never name a pig you plan to eat. Country fences oughta' be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong. Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb. It's about how good you bounce. Keep skunks and gossipers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor. Trouble with a milk cow is... she won't stay milked. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Meanness don't happen overnight. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. It just ain't helpful. Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. Don't sell your mule to buy a plow. Two can live as cheap as one...if one don't eat. Don't corner something meaner than you. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar... if you're in to catchin' flies. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. Don't go drinkin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug. You can't unsay a cruel remark. Every path has some puddles. Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about never happens. The early bird gets the worm. But... the second mouse gets the cheese!. The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a durn good reason for the move. You can't post: Thou Shalt Not Steal,Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, Thou Shall Not Lie, in a building full of Lawyers and Politicians. It just don't make sense. ____________________________________________________ A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited many years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a STOP sign' five hundred times." ____________________________________________________
A budding 16 year old photographer who I feel is going to make name for himself.
A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large and heavy fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy. The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with, so the Doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 21
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship
discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26,
1620. 

1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air
balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois
Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5½ miles
over Paris. 

1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 

1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his
phonograph. 

1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art
exhibit. 

1934 The New York Yankees purchased the contract of Joe
DiMaggio from San Francisco of the Pacific Coast League. 

1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened.
It was built from Dawson Creek, BC to Anchorage Alaska, 2000
Miles, in one year. No wait for environmental impact studies.

1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced
that "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine
measures against Cuba. 

1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline,
arrived in San Antonio, TX. They were beginning an ill-fated,
two-day tour of Texas that would end in Dallas. 

1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred
Buzhardt, announced the presence of an 18½-minute gap in one
of the White House tape recordings related to the Watergate
case. 

1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by
a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 

1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out
"who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas.
Kristin was the character that fired the gun. (Texas)

1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino
in Las Vegas, NV. 

1982 The National Football League (NFL) resumed its season
following a 57-day player's strike. 

1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay
Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for
Israel. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 

1986 U.S. Attorney General Meese was asked to conduct an
inquiry of the Iran arms sales. 

1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in
Oakdale, LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took
hostages. 

1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were
televised live for the first time. 

1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood issued an apology but refused
to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual
advances toward 10 women in past years. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making
the District of Columbia the 51st state. 

1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia
that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian "safe
area" of Bihac. 

1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at
a test site in the South Pacific. 

1995 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 5,000-
mark (5,023.55) for the first time. 

1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned
space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 

2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to
keep the presidential recounts going. 

2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers,
software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the
poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of
a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust
lawsuits. 

2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria,
Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 

2013 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 16,000 for
the first time.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 61 )
Her laptop keeps dying 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 20

Thank you, Frank!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Miami man claimed IHOP meal didn’t agree with him. 
So he stabbed his waiter.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television.
That admission did not diminish her popularity, just
Charles's. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882) If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher's stone. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Dave for this one: Once upon a time the Canadian Government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of nowhere. The Government said, "Someone may steal from the scrap yard at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person (bilingual, naturally) for the job. Then the Government said, "How can the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a Planning Department and hired two people; one person to write the job description and one person to do time studies. Then the Government said, "How will we know the night watchman is performing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people; one to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then the Government said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions: a Time Keeper and a Payroll Officer; then hired two more people to assist. Then the Government said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an Administrative Section and hired three people: an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer and a Legal Secretary. Then the Government said, "We have had this organization in operation for only one year and we are $180,000 over budget; we must cut back our overall costs." So they laid off the night watchman. ______________________________________________________ If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gene Hicks, 35, Miami, Floriduh Miami man claimed IHOP meal didn’t agree with him. So he stabbed his waiter. Whether IHOP patron Gene Hicks consumed the Belgian waffle, the chicken cordon bleu or the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘n’ Fruity, he returned to the establishment Friday afternoon a dissatisfied customer, according to North Miami Police. Hicks registered his complaint in the sharp language of a knife stabbed into his waiter, police say. The waiter was ferried to a nearby hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Hicks is restricted to the less rich cuisine of Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Any switch to Denny’s might have to wait. He already was out on felony bond on a charge of battery on an elderly victim, a 77-year- old man. North Miami Police say Hicks ate at the IHOP at 12875 Biscayne Blvd Friday, then returned around 3:30 p.m. claiming he’d been poisoned. Then, he ran over and stabbed the server who’d waited on him earlier. Police arrested Hicks at the IHOP. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Daniel Re: Laptop keeps shutting off Dear Webby, my wifes laptop keeps shuting off. is there a fix for this ? daniel Dear Daniel It is probably overheating due to too many dust bunnies inside. Just open it up and save most of the screws, vacuum it out, clean all fans and heat sinks with a Q-tip and Windex, and put it back together. It should be fine again for a year. Have FUN! DearWebby it was the battery.removed it,pluged the a/c cord back in and it's running like a brand new car.of all the things that it could have been,I never even thought battery because we never use the battery,only the power chord.thank you for answering me. daniel Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Dumplings for Soup By kathleen williams [76 Posts, 1,658 Comments] Did you know you can freeze dumplings? I make homemade dumplings. I roll them out flat, put them in the baking pan I bake biscuits in, let them freeze, then put them in an empty plastic cereal bag. I roll the top down and close it with a clothes pin. When ready to use them, get the broth you will use boiling hot. Break the dumplings into pieces, about an inch square, and drop into broth. This saves lot of time. Good luck. By Kathleen from Dothan, AL
news bloopers
____________________________________________________ If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? ____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Scotty for this one: Hospital regulations here require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a volunteer, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her silly hospital gown." ____________________________________________________
A murmuration of Starlings. I see this in the South where I live every winter.
Actual writings on hospital charts: 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8. The patient refused autopsy. 9. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. She is numb from her toes down. 14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 15. The skin was moist and dry. 16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 17. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 25. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 20

1789 New Jersey became the first state to ratify the Bill of
Rights. 

1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of
Spain. 

1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and
Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 

1901 The second Hay-Pauncefoot Treaty provided for
construction of the Panama Canal by the U.S. 

1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in
Mexico. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on
Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes
tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany. 

1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten,
Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 

1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark
and Sweden met to create the European Free Trade
Association.


1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed
its missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its
blockade of the island. 

1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million. 

1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential
use of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the
substance. 

1970 The majority in U.N. General Assembly voted to give
China a seat, but two-thirds majority required for admission
was not met. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to address Israel's parliament. 

1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake
Pigneur pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island.
The freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours.
The Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the
previous freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater
lake. 

1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the
controversial ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie
depicted the outbreak of nuclear war. 

1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. The
title was The Poky Little Puppy. 

1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be
the cause of the event that took 31 lives. 

1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National
Council. 

1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 

1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into
the country of Kuwait. 

1990 The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Cape Canaveral, FL,
after completing a secret military mission. 

1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England. 

1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in
Zambia to end 19 years of war. 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television.
That admission did not diminish her popularity, just
Charles's. 

1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden
safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating
two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist
attacks on New York City and the Pentagon. 

1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also
agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 

2001 The U.S. Justice Department headquarters building was
renamed the Robert F. Kennedy building by President George W.
Bush. The event was held on what would have been Kennedy's
76th birthday

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 376 )
What is my IP number? 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:


Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 


1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E.
Blaisdell. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. --- Tallulah Bankhead ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, a man decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with the man. The next day she became his stepmother. (Men will never learn) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: A Zebra died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. As he entered, he said to St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes? St. Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer" So, the zebra set off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please -I must know - am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?" God simply replied "You are what you are." The zebra returned to St. Peter, who asked, "Well, did God straighten out your query for you"? The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said "you are what you are." St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, that answers it; you are a white horse with black stripes." The zebra looked puzzled and asked St. Peter, "How do you know that"? "Because," St. Peter said, "if you were a black horse with white stripes, God would have said "Yo is wot yo is." ______________________________________________________ Spanish Gate Keeper ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shemroy Williams, 31, Taunton, Massachusetts Man convicted of using Cheetos to try and burn down ex's home A 31-year-old Taunton man who attempted to burn down his ex- girlfriend’s house while she was still inside was convicted of malicious destruction of property and sentenced to serve the maximum two-and-a-half year jail sentence, according to the Bristol County District Attorney’s Office. Shemroy Williams, of 42 Weir St., was convicted by a jury in Taunton District Court after just one hour of deliberation, the Taunton Gazette reported. On March 10, 2016, Taunton police and fire officials responded to 164 Somerset Ave. after the intended victim and her friend reported that the defendant was attempting to light the home on fire. An investigation revealed Williams attempted to light the home on fire in five different locations and wedged a propane tank up against the house while a fire on the back porch was burning. Fire officials were able to pull the tank away from the home before it ignited. Police located Williams about 100 yards away from the home with two lighters in his pocket and an empty bag of Cheetos. Investigators determined the defendant attempted to use the Cheetos to accelerate the fire. “The defendant engaged in outrageous behavior that jeopardized the safety of the intended victim, her friend and first responders,” said District Attorney Thomas Quinn. “I want to thank Deputy Fire Chief Scott Dexter for his quick response and removal of the propane tank. I would also like to thank Judge Brennan for imposing the maximum jail sentence, which was well deserved.” The case was prosecuted by Assistant District Attorney Shawn Guilderson and the sentence was handed down by Judge Michael Brennan. Williams’ ex-girlfriend told police she’d previously had a romantic relationship with him and he’d been stalking her. She told police he had destroyed her cellphone, told her he thinks about killing her and had damaged her car by cutting undercarriage wires that he might have thought were a brake line, police said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Cindy Re: What is my IP address? Dear Webby, I need to know my IP address, where I am, not my site. How can I get my IP address when I am away from home and using a WiFi at Tim Hortons or Wendys or whereever? Thanks Cindy Dear Cindy Just go to http://webby.com/ip My site will instantly tell you in plain text, so that you can copy and paste. Have FUN! DearWebby A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for Kentucky, saw a sign that read: "LAST CHANCE FOR $2.45 GAS!!!" He still had more than a quarter of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill-up his tank cheap. As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "So, how much IS gas in Kentucky?" The man replied, "Two bucks and a quarter."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cornstarch, Vinegar and Water for Window Cleaning By Robyn [444 Posts, 823 Comments] A wonderful window cleaner can be made out of the following: Mix 2 cups of hot water with 1/4 cup of vinegar and a tablespoon of cornstarch. Mix very well, and the pour into a spray bottle. Use with crumpled up newspaper. The windows will shine!
news bloopers
____________________________________________________ At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "Service" .......... "The act of doing things for other people." Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service Postal Service Telephone Service Civil Service City/County Public Service Customer Service Service Stations And I became confused about the word "Service." This is not what I thought "Service" meant. Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "Service" a few of his cows. It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "Service" agencies are doing to us. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Angela for this classic: A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. The minister replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too! I didn't know we had that choice on this flight!" ____________________________________________________
Scandinavian grass roofed-houses. Like something from Lord of the Rings.
A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child." "Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 19

1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 

1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison,
NJ. 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address
as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil
War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 

1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in
the Sunday New York World. 

1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E.
Blaisdell. 

1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a
vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was
needed for ratification. 

1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the
first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 

1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their
winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 

1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 

1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of
the unpopular Edsel. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon. 

1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 

1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit
in Geneva. 

1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of
nonaggression. 

1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-
crime measure giving them absolute monopoly in crime. 

1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 

1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi
McCaughey. It was only the second known case where all seven
were born alive. 

1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began.


1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without
Beard" sold at auction for more than $71 million. 

1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after
adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was
criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's
separatist movement. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the most
comprehensive air security bill in U.S. history. 

2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank
off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons
of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed
about 150 miles out to sea. 

2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security
at 424 airports nationwide. 

2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 146 )
Is Scanguard safe? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Nov 17's space launch
The Soyuz MS-03 spacecraft launches from the Baikonur
Cosmodrome with Expedition 50 crewmembers NASA astronaut
Peggy Whitson, Russian cosmonaut Oleg Novitskiy of Roscosmos,
and ESA astronaut Thomas Pesquet from the Baikonur Cosmodrome
in Kazakhstan on Nov. 17 at 3:20 p.m. EST (2020 GMT).

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh man attacks girlfriend with taser, toilet 
plunger, pepper spray and sword in front of her kids
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan
L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ FACT: Statistics show that teen age prenancy drops off significantly after age 25. OPINION: If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it's good enough for me. ______________________________________________________ Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 5. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 6. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. 7. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 8. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 9. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 10. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. ("wont">to have the habit of doing something) 11. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 12. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 13. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. 14. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 15. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 16. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 17. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. 18. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. 19. She lumbered into my office like a centipede with 98 broken legs. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Craig Samuel Coe, 32, Fort Myers, Floriduh Floriduh man attacks girlfriend with taser, toilet plunger, pepper spray and sword in front of her kids A Southwest Florida woman claims her boyfriend pepper sprayed her, tased her and attacked her with a sword and a toilet plunger in front of her kids. Craig Samuel Coe, 32, is facing several charges including aggravated battery, illegal possession of a weapon, kidnapping and child neglect. Fort Myers police responded to a domestic dispute early Friday morning at the Waterford Apartments. Police say Coe viciously attacked his girlfriend Jasmine Meyer during a jealousy fueled rage. According to the police report, Coe's verbal assault turned physical when he pepper sprayed Meyer, then punched her in the face. That's when Meyer grabbed her two young kids and tried to leave. Coe stopped Meyer by hitting her with a sword sheath and sword. Meyer's daughter also got hit. She was bleeding when officers arrived. The fighting left Meyer with "deep cuts, a bloody nose, bruises, and knots on her forehead." Meyer eventually escaped to a neighbor's apartment, where she called police. Officers later found an assault rife and a bag of ammunition in the apartment. Neighbors telling Four In Your Corner that the two often argued. Coe has previous convictions for grand theft, burglary and drug possession. Meyer did not wish to comment on the incident Wednesday. She did tell Fox4 that she has hired an attorney. The Department of Children and Families may also be getting involved. Very nice hots ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Denise Re: Is Scanguard a scam? Dear Webby, What are your thoughts on this: Is this Scanguard a scam? Denise Dear Denise Spammers are scammers. Dump it. Windows Defender, which is usually considered the lowest and least effective guard, is better than that stuff. Don't waste your time with it. Some people reported that it demands $49 per year to remove nonexistent malware, and that after a month it acts like ransomware on W10. It is definitely not in the same league as McAfee or Malwarebytes or Kaspersky. If they last a year, and do more than plaster advertising and fake reviews all over the net and late night TV, you might try it then. Right now the consensus is to stay away from it. If you can't afford McAfee or Kaspersky: For Vista or Windows 7 use MSE - Free. For Windows 8/8.1 and 10 use Windows Defender which in those OS's is a full antivirus (same as MSE). And use the Windows Firewall. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman with 14 children, ranging in age from one to fourteen, went to court to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion. "When did he leave you?" the judge asked. "Thirteen years ago," the tired mother replied. The judge was confused. "Well, if he left thirteen years ago, where did all these children come from?" "Well," said the woman, "he kept coming back once a year to say he was sorry."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Hard Water/Mineral Stains on Glassware Simple vinegar is what I use as we have such horrible water here in Greece. I fill a bucket or large container with water, add vinegar and leave overnight. You can also use hot water and it will work faster. I use vinegar in my electric hot water pot every week as well as in stainless steel pots and pans. I love vinegar and use it quite a lot around the house. I also squirt it on my balcony tiles to keep the ants away from the house!! Hope this helps. Guest (Guest Post) Use Lemi Shine! You just add it to your detergent and run the dishwasher as usual. I live in a VERY hard water area and I can tell you that it is the ONLY thing that works. By guest (Guest Post)
feudin banjos
____________________________________________________ "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness. ____________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." ____________________________________________________
Can you spot the people in these body paintings?
A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please call Bev at the front desk." Everybody called to tell her that they did not hear the announcement.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 18

1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England. 

1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the
New York "Saturday Press." 

1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 

1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the
U.S. rights to build the Panama Canal. 

1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary
Force in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in
France. The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 

1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat
Willie," starring Mickey Mouse. 

1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco. 

1942 "The Skin of Our Teeth," by Thornton Wilder opened on
Broadway. 

1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in
New York City's Times Square. 

1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule
against eating meat on Fridays. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan
L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon. 

1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established
a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 

1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

1985 Joe Theismann (Washington Redskins) broke his leg after
being hit by Lawrence Taylor (New York Giants). The injury
ended Theismann's 12 year National Football League (NFL)
career. 

1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 

1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 

1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation providing
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients. 

1993 American Airlines flight attendants went on strike. They
ended their strike only 4 days later. 

1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution. 

1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest
banking deal in U.S. history. 

2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console
in the United States.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 4 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.7 / 60 )
How bad is WINTOOLS.EXE? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
"Law-Abiding Pervert" Faces Child Porn Raps
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 

1869 - The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the
Mediterranean and the Red seas. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A cult is a religion with no political power. --- Tom Wolfe (1931 - ) Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." ______________________________________________________ BUZZWORDS BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. SITCOMS: (Single Income, Two Children, Opressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. SWIPED OUT: an ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On Key. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. OHNOSECOND: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've made a BIG mistake. WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture of her orchid ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Coiro, 76, Port Orange, Florida "Law-Abiding Pervert" Faces Child Porn Raps Suspect: "I'm not a pedophile, I'm just a pervert." A Florida man suspected of possessing child pornography asserted that he was not a pedophile, instead telling police that he was a “law-abiding pervert,” according to records. As investigators were executing a search warrant last month at his residence, Anthony Coiro, 76, admitted that he looked at “crazy” pornography, a practice that he anticipated could lead to contact by law enforcement. Cops searched Coiro’s home in Port Orange, a city just south of Daytona Beach, after initially receiving a tip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. A search of Coiro’s e-mail account had turned up “numerous images and videos of depictions of sexual performance by a child,” according to a Volusia County Sheriff’s Office report. When investigators arrived to seize his computer equipment and electronic devices, Coiro was asked if he knew why they were there. “Because I look at porn on the Internet,” the retiree answered. Asked what kind of porn he looked at, Coiro replied, “crazy shit.” But Coiro wanted to make something clear: “I'm not a pedophile, I'm just a pervert." He also described himself as a “law-abiding pervert.” Despite those protestations, Coiro reportedly also told police he was guilty of possessing illicit images of children. After a subsequent examination of Coiro’s computer, investigators found more than 4000 photos and videos depicting child pornography, prompting Coiro’s arrest Tuesday on 52 felony counts of possessing child pornography. Pictured in the above mug shot, Coiro is locked up in the county jail, where he is being held without bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Helen Re: Outgoing mystery stuff Dear Webby, Norton keeps alerting me that WINTOOLS.EXE is attempting to access the internet. It is listed as Medium Risk. Since I don't know what they are, I have come to the master to ask if I should permanently block them or if they are useful and should be allowed. Thanks once again for you help! Helen Dear Helen If medium risk (or any risk) stuff is trying to get from your machine out onto the Internet, then obviously your machine is infected with them. I don't use Norton because it doesn't stop stuff like that from coming in in the first place. Try running Spybot-Search&Destroy, update it to it's newest version, and see if that will find those things. To me they sound a lot more like malicious spyware than viruses, and just want to report your bra size, weight, visa numbers and stuff like that. Please let me know if Spybot-Search&Destroy catches them or if you need bigger ammunition for that. Have FUN! DearWebby "How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan and put his face in his hands. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "Then you know what happened to my trailer and my boat and six cases of beer in the boat?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Drinking Glasses From Glass Bottles By DearWebby in 2010 In the 50's, when I was a wee widdle kid, we used postal twine, a cheap hemp string, tied to the top and bottom of a thumb-thick willow stick, like it was a fiddle string. Looping the string completely around the bottle, turned the fiddle stick into a bow. "Sawing" rapidly heated up the glass and splashing water on it cracked it. In the 60's we got lazy and used butcher twine and white gas. In the 70's they sold bottle cutting jigs, that let you roll a bottle in a V shaped trough with one end stop and a glass cutter. I improved on that by drilling two holes into each side of the trough and gluing marbles into three of them for smooth sliding bearings, and the glass cutter into the fourth hole. For the neck side end stop I just clamped a block of wood into the trough with a C-clamp. For the smoothest rotation I wrapped a strip of rubber cut from an old bicycle inner-tube a couple of times around the bottle and out through a hole in the bottom of the trough. That resulted in smooth and precise cuts and the 100th bottle was cut exactly the same as the first. To get the edge perfectly smooth I always used a torch. As long as you never stop and keep the torch moving around the top, it works quite well. Keep in mind, though, even with a perfect cut and a perfectly beaded edge, cut bottle glasses are just a goofy novelty and will be retired to a shelf or given away pretty soon. They are not comfortable for drinking, but if you use colored bottles, they can be used to make very pretty storm candles. Have FUN! DearWebby http://webby.com/humor/blog If I may add an update to that: Keep in mind that the glass cutter is not intended to cut through the glass. All you do is scribe or scratch a fine line. Then a gentle tap with the smooth handle of a wrench will crack the bottle exactly where you scribed it.
" target="_blank" >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOBqXYfYc4o"> All catching a snake
____________________________________________________ Mike was explaining to Judi about when he'd been a kid he fell through the ice on the pond. He went all the way under. Several panicked minuted passed when Mike couldn't find the hole get out and he was running out of air quickly. Judi put her hand to her mouth and interrupted: "Oh my God, did you get out ?" ____________________________________________________ Pilots the world over are known to have no sense of humor and to be web-illiterate. The opposite is known about aircraft mechanics. The following maintenance log excerpts seem to illustrate that: P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack normal seepage. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 FPM descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned that pilots have no sense of humor. ____________________________________________________
What a great idea! Solar powered glow in the dark bike lanes.
Arriving at his residence the professor told his housekeeper, "Sarah, I've invited three of my students to dinner tonight at 6:30, but I think I'll give them a half-hour's grace." "Professor, I'm as religious as the next person." Sarah said shaking her head, "But I think with my cooking, half an hour of grace is over-doing it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 17

1558 - Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death
of Queen Mary Tudor. 

1603 - Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 

1796 - Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 

1798 - Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide
while in jail awaiting execution. 

1800 - The U.S. Congress held its first session in
Washington, DC, in the partially completed Capitol building. 

1869 - The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the
Mediterranean and the Red seas. 

1880 - The first three British female graduates received
their Bachelor of Arts degrees from London University. 

1903 - Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two
groups - Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 

1913 - The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel
through the Panama Canal. 

1913 - In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces
from dancing the tango. 

1922 - Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 

1962 - Washington's Dulles International Airport was
dedicated by U.S. President Kennedy. 

1968 - NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York
Jets-Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on
schedule. The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-
32. 

1970 - The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was
released
by Luna 17. 

1973 - U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing
editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know
whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a
crook." 

1979 - Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13
female and black American hostages being held at the U.S.
Embassy in Tehran. 

1982 - The Empire State Building was added to the National
Register of Historical Places. 

1988 - Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an
Islamic country. She was elected in the first democratic
elections in Pakistan in 11 years. 

1990 - A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the
River Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those
of World War II prisoners of war. 

1990 - The Soviet government agreed to change the country's
constitution. 

1997 - 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside
the Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were
killed by police. 

1997 - Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame. 

2006 - Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United
States. 

2010 - Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the
first time humans had trapped antimatter. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 4 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 137 )
How to import bookmarks from FF to Edge 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 16

______________________________________________________
Just received this picture from long time subscriber 
Master Chief Jim and his wife Cori 


Cori and I celebrating the Change of Flags at the Veterans
Day Program at our church. GOD BLESS AMERICA.  
Jim
______________________________________________________

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman passed out in stolen car in 
Nocatee with drugs, baby on lap
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 15, in 

1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) With donkeys, philosophers and politicians it is sometimes difficult to tell whether they are thinking really deep thoughts, or whether they have bottomed out. --- Socratex I like life. It's something to do. --- Ronnie Shakes ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This preacher was looking for a good used lawn mower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though." The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start. Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough." "Well," Johnny said, "you need to cuss at it sometimes." The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you." ______________________________________________________ Anni suggested a book for sam to read to enhance their relationship. It's entitled, 'women are from venus, men are wrong' ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Marie Ray, 29, Jacksonville, Florida Jacksonville woman passed out in stolen car in Nocatee with drugs, baby on lap Amanda Marie Ray, 29, is charged with driving on a suspended license, possession of drug paraphernalia, grand theft auto, possession of heroin and child neglect, SJSO said. Deputies were notified that Ray was asleep in the front seat of a car at a Shell station in Nocatee at 40 Settlement Drive, near Nocatee and Crosswater parkways. A deputy saw the infant on Ray's lap. The deputy ran the tag on the vehicle and found that the tag did not belong on the vehicle and that the vehicle was actually reported stolen out of Kentucky and Ray was the suspect, SJSO said. Drug paraphernalia, including new and used syringes, were found inside the vehicle. The Florida Department of Children and Families allowed a family member to take custody of the infant. Ray was booked into the St. Johns County Jail on bonds totaling $11,000, SJSO said. Deputies found the woman sleeping inside her car at a Nocatee Shell station -- with a baby in her lap and syringes in the car. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Import bookmarks from FF to Edge Dear Webby, Is there a way to transfer all bookmarks from Firefox to windows 10 Edge, without having to transfer each item on the list. Jerry Dear Jerry Few people would do that, because most consider FF more advanced and more secure. However, if you really want to do that, keep in mind that EDGE has no direct way to import FF bookmarks. It is not that advanced yet. They got IE working, and some say Chrome too. There is an extremely tedious way to do it, that apparently does work, but the easiest way is to import them into Internet Explorer, close IE, open EDGE, Settings, and import them from IE to EDGE. Have FUN! DearWebby Ole and Lena lived on a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was near the begin of winter. Ole asked Lena if she would walk across the frozen lake to the general store to pick him up some tobacco. She asked for some money, but he told her to put it on their tab. So she walked across, got the tobacco and walked back. Then she asked Ole why he didn't send her with any money. He said, "I vasn't goin' to send a dollar ven I vasn't sure how tick de ice vas."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Pumpkin Puree By Judy Pariser S. [185 Posts, 177 Comments] Someone left a big pumpkin at the curb with their garbage, and I picked it up during one of my walks. I did roast pumpkin before, but I remembered how hard it was to cut up the pumpkin. However, I saw a recipe for how to roast a whole pumpkin, and that's what I did today. I have plenty of puree for breads, muffins, soup, smoothies, and even baby food! Someone left a big pumpkin at the curb with their garbage, and I picked it up during one of my walks. I did roast pumpkin before, but I remembered how hard it was to cut up the pumpkin. However, I saw a recipe for how to roast a whole pumpkin, and that's what I did today. I have plenty of puree for breads, muffins, soup, smoothies, and even baby food! Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 60-90 minutes Total Time: 1 to 1 1/2 hours Yield: Depends on size of pumpkin Source: Shared on Facebook Homemade Pumpkin Puree Ingredients: 1 pumpkin* olive oil * I used a large pumpkin, and it came out fine. The recipe recommended small, "sugar pumpkins." Steps: Rub the pumpkin lightly with olive oil. Homemade Pumpkin Puree Line a pan with foil. This will catch any drips. Roast the pumpkin at 400 degrees F. You don't have to preheat the oven. This will take 60-90 minutes. It's done when a fork pierces very easily. Let cool. Cut the pumpkin in half. Scoop out the seeds and stringy stuff. I saved the seeds, and composted the stringy stuff. Separate the meat from the skin. Process the pumpkin meat in batches in the food processor. Put in 1 or 2 cup portions. Refrigerate or freeze.
All About that Bass - yes, that kind of bass
____________________________________________________ A hillbilly dragged his protesting son to a new school which had just opened in a nearby village. When they arrived, he took his son to see the teacher. "Howdy," said the hillbilly. "This here's my son, Arthur. Now what kind of learnin' are you teachin'?" "Oh, all the usual subjects," said the teacher, nodding at the boy. "Reading, writing, arithmetic." "What's this?" interrupted the father. "Arith....arith... what did you say?" "Arithmetic, Sir," said the teacher, "instruction in algebra, geometry,and trigonometry." "Trigonometry!" cried the delighted hillbilly. "That's what my boy needs. He's the worst darn shot in the family!" ____________________________________________________ In a physics lab course, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so: "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell silent until one wise young man raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Bud?" ____________________________________________________ In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears. However, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. ____________________________________________________
An amazing artist. I wish he was still alive and I could afford him!
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy really liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 16
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the
American Revolution. 

1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason.


1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle
patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year.


1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established
diplomatic relations for the first time. 

1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football
for Charlie Brown. 

1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial
of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in
1954. 

1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged
with massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai
massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 

1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was
launched from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure
into law. 

1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had
been developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 

1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment
of HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 

1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic
"sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 

1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident
from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for
almost 18 years. 

1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students,
aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a
carefully selected group of teachers and students. 

1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal
for the North American rights to a book about her affair with
U.S. President Clinton. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could
file discrimination lawsuits against employers even when
labor contracts require arbitration. 

1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth,
was shot four times in her car. She died a month later from
her wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a
minimum of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in
the murder. 

2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to
visit Communist Vietnam. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone"
opened in the U.S. and U.K. 

2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of
nearly 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 6 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.3 / 50 )
Controlling two or more computers from one keyboard 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesnday, November 15

Thank you, Moe!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
UL-Lafayette student who made up story of being 
beaten, robbed of wallet and hijab facing charges
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 15, in 

1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007) A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach (1928 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sometimes you are not in control of your right foot !! Prove for yourself, whether you are in control of your right foot. It's worth a try... While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number "6666" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction..... to counter clockwise ______________________________________________________ Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice. My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case. The class broke into groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked "Are you all right? " He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Libtard Muslim Student, 18, Lafayette, Louisiana UL-Lafayette student who made up story of being beaten, robbed of wallet and hijab facing charge Lafayette Police said the student is now facing a charge of filing a false report. Lafayette Police Department spokesman Karl Ratcliff confirmed the charge, WWL-TV reported. No explanation was given for why the police would not immediately release the woman's name. There also was no further information regarding the case, Ratcliff said, including why she admitted to fabricating the story of the attack. A University of Louisiana at Lafayette student admitted Thursday to making up a story about being attacked by two men, one reportedly wearing a "Trump" hat, who yelled ethnic slurs at her and then stole her wallet and hijab head covering, according to Lafayette Police. The woman, identified only as an 18-year-old of Middle Eastern descent, had initially told police the attack happened about 11 a.m. Wednesday on Smith Street near campus — a story quickly picked up by the national news outlets, sparking a social media firestorm. Lafayette Police spokesman Officer Karl Ratcliff said the woman admitted to fabricating the story after police began to question her about key details. "There were a lot of things that didn't make sense," he said, commenting that it was unusual that no one else witnessed an attack during a school day so close to campus. Ratcliff said the woman offered no explanation for lying. "That's only one that she can answer," he said. Ratcliff said the woman might now face charges herself related to filing a false police report. "We don't take this lightly, and it's made national headlines now," he said. "...There will be consequences." The woman's claim of being attacked was reported online Thursday morning by all major Democrat paid news organization in Louisiana and all Dumbocrat news outlets, including The New York Times, The Huffington Post and ABC News. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Control two computers from one keyboard Dear Webby, KVM software I have used this software in the past with win xp and win 7 http:// www.stardock.com/products/multiplicity/ The program networks over your local internet connection. It is not the only program to do this but it is the easiest to install. Install the program on the slave (2nd computer) first, then on the main computer. You not only share the controls but can copy from one computer's clip board and paste on the other's, drag and drop files and will set up audio and videos to stream either way. The free version controls only two computers, the paid version controls up to nine. Cost is $19.95 USD, and the license will transfer if you replace one of the computers. Everything in the interface is point and click so even non technical people can use it. This link has a short video to see what it is all about Multiplicity Neil Thanks Neil! Have FUN! DearWebby Here is an old Bonehead Award that is too good to be forgotten: The award goes to the head of women's studies at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, Dr. Kathleen Dixon When Richard Zeller, a professor of sociology, retired after being barred from teaching a course on political correctness, Dr. Dixon explained the school's position: ''We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.''
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Rubber Gloves Last Longer By Litter Gitter [190 Posts, 622 Comments] Instead of keeping my rubber gloves in the kitchen drawer, I hang them on the stove, using magnets. That is where they stay until I use them again, which is two or three times a day. Since I started doing this, I have noticed that my rubber gloves last a lot longer.
how real men shoot skeet
____________________________________________________ The boss of a major manufacturing facility was complaining in a staff meeting one day, that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning, he went to a local sign shop, bought a small sign that read, "I am the Boss!" and taped it to his office door. Later that day, when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that read, "Your wife called. She said she did not authorize that sign." ____________________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did, sir." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny old world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slap- ped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a klutz, he couldn't lay a brick to save his life!" ____________________________________________________
Reflections in puddles of rain.
One workman asks another, "How long have you been working here?" The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 15
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak. 

1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their
"March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 

1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 

1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 

1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 

1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder
King Leopold II of Belgium. 

1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland. 

1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio
network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was
a four-hour "spectacular." 

1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty
under peacetime conscription to prepare for WWII. 

1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it
landed on Venus. 

1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts
James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down
safely in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters
staged a peaceful demonstration against the Vietnam War. 

1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 

1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American
Eugene Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering
arms to Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison
and was pardoned a month later. 

1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on
Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider
stock trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the
SEC. 

1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of
the PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent
Palestinian state at the close of a four-day conference in
Algiers. 

1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year
career. 

1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six
months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher
was serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding
Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 

1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit. 

1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed
a major trade agreement that involved China's membership in
the World Trade Organization (WTO). 

2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the
Los Angeles police department were convicted on several
counts of conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer
was acquitted. The case was the first major case against the
anti-gang unit. 

2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first
person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been
attacked by a dog earlier in the year. 

2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold
for $15.6 million.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 64 )
Two computers, one keyboard, one monitor 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
2 Jersey Shore men took a taxi to rob house, 
then stiffed driver
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 14, in 

1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. --- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively. "Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied. "Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?" "Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied. ______________________________________________________ Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind ?" ______________________________________________________ From FB Thanks to Jim for this picture: ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, Ocean Township, New Jersey 2 Jersey Shore men took a taxi to rob house, then stiffed driver Deal police said they arrested two men who took a taxi to burglarize a house in town and then refused to pay the driver when they drove back to an apartment in Asbury Park with the stolen goods. Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, of Ocean Township, called for a taxi to a home on Norwood Avenue in Deal on Friday night, said Deal police Sgt. Brian Egan. Egan said they instructed the taxi driver to wait outside before they returned a short time later with a television set and some liquor bottles. He said the driver then took them to an apartment in Asbury Park, where they got out without paying the fare. The driver called Asbury Park police reporting the beat fare and the suspicious activity of the customers, Egan said. After being alerted by Asbury Park police at 10:31 p.m., Deal officers checked the house and determined it had just been burglarized, he said. Burke and Foote were charged with burglary, conspiracy to commit burglary, criminal trespass and theft. They were being held in the Monmouth County jail in Freehold on $20,000 bail each. The stolen items were returned to the homeowner, Sgt. Egan said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Second Audio for two computers Dear Webby, Is there a way to connect two computers to one keyboard and one monitor and one stereo? I want to use an old clunker to bring in digital audio and play it on the big stereo that I have connected to the main machine. The only time the klunker needs a keyboard and monitor is for getting the streaming digital audio started or the station changed. There must be a way to do that without wasting money and space on a second monitor and keyboard! Any help would be appreciated. Ron Dear Ron All you need is a KVMA switch (keyboard, Video, Mouse, Audio) Dalco has them currently for $30 http://dalco.com Try IOGEAR GCS72U 2-Port KVM Switch with Audio There is a bit of a problem, though. The audio might stop on the klunker if you click the focus to the new machine. That is not a problem of the switch, but of Windows on the old machine. You might have to use the klunker just for downloading and saving the music, the new machine networked to it and playing the music from the old machine's harddrive. If you have the machines networked, that is no problem at all. Have FUN! DearWebby By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant -- an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it." The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright- eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Not-So Spanish Omelet By Benetta [254 Posts, 144 Comments] This is an adjusted version of the Spanish omelet. It makes for a hearty meal, so it works well for a brunch when served with toast. Total Time: 45 minutes in total Yield: 2 servings Ingredients: 3 eggs, beaten cheese flavored smoked frankfurter medium sized potato ½ teaspoon dried sweet basil ¼ teaspoon grinded black pepper ¼ teaspoon Knorr Aromat Seasoning or ordinary salt grated cheddar cheese to taste cooking spray Steps: Boil the potato until tender. Drain the potato and allow to cool for 5 minutes. Peel and cut into thin slices. Boil the frankfurter for 5-6 minutes and drain. Allow to cool for 5 minutes and cut into thin slices. Mix the beaten eggs, basil, pepper and salt. Add the sliced potato and sliced frankfurter to the egg mixture. Spray a 6" frying pan with cooking spray. Add the mixture to the pan and over a medium heat, cook until golden brown on the one side. Use a spatula to flip it over. Sprinkle grated cheese on top of the omelet. Cook until the cheese has melted and the other side is golden brown, too. Slide onto a plate. Cut into slices and serve warm with toast.
Pizzalympics in Springfield, Missouri
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this one: Ontario Rules of the Road Regulations in the Ministry of Transportation of Ontario 2016 Handbook for drivers 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Ontario driver avoids using them. 2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. The faster you drive through a red light, the lower the chance of getting hit. 4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear- ended. 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with Quebec plates. With no insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose. 6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles. 7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prevent other drivers from exiting or entering the freeway. 8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ontario during rush hour, especially on the 401. 9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Ontario driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. 10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim. 11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Ontario is the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts deep pot-holes (like inverted ski moguls) in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert. 12. It is tradition in Ontario to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds before the light turns green. 13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger. 14. Remember that the goal of every Ontario driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary. 15. In Ontario, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned. 16. In Ontario the mandatory and required cell-phone is held up to your ear with the left hand to ensure that you do not inadvertently activate the turn signals and startle other drivers. 17. Razors, coffee or donuts are to be carried in the right hand, except when driving in Little Italy. The proper posture, for blending in, in Little Italy, is to talk with both hands while facing a real or imaginary rear seat passenger. 18. If you see a whole bunch of yellow or white stripes painted on the road, parallel to the road, they indicate that that locaton is a spot favored by suiciders. It is important to speed up as you approach them to help prevent more suicides from occurring there. 19) If there is a traffic jam due to an accident, immediately work your way over to the rescue lane and proceed to the scene of the accident at top speed. 20) If a driver is observed throwing nervous glances into his or her mirror or behind them, they must be flanked tightly and escorted to the far left lane so that they won't have their nervous breakdown on an exit and cause a traffic jam. Don't do this if the car is from Quebec, because it's driver may be used to less structured driving rules. Thank You, The Ministry of Transportation of Ontario ____________________________________________________ The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times. He began what can only be called a "Campaigning" and sent her a small token of his affection every day for a month to her house. The plan was successful too -- the young lady fell in love with the mailman. ____________________________________________________
Reflections in puddles of rain.
Thanks to the folks from Erie for this one: The children and grandchildren of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send grandma on a cruise, so that she would not be too helpful during the pre-planning stage of a wedding.. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D." She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.? He said,"U.D. is Upper Deck." She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser there and he said, "I see that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C." Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?" The purser said, "O.C. is an Outside Cabin." Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy and he said, "Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B." "B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma. The cabin boy answered, "B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed." "Oh," she said; Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful." The next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed and she said, "F.U.C.K" Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?", to which she replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K. Foist U Could Knock."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 14
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people. 

1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published
in the U.S. 

1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination
of U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged
the following year. 

1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less
than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the
following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 

1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began
domestic radio service. 

1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new
constitution was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned
for the Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4,
1946. 

1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of
the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers
attacked. 

1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight
was seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los
Angeles. 

1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 

1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 

1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy,
FL. 

1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur
Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the
first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 

1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000
(1,003.16) level for the first time. 

1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 

1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married. 

1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the
United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking
of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran. 

1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests. 

1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime
Minister Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government. 

1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-
down in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 

1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to
publish Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho." 

1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom
Sihanouk returned to his homeland. 

1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex
for the first time under an accord that opened such sites to
outside inspections. 

1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown,
closing national parks and museums while most government
offices operated with skeleton crews. 

2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app
for smartphones. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.3 / 39 )
Outlook mail program getting very slow 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 13

Tonight the full moon will be the closest and biggest one
since 1948. Take some pictures!



Click through for full size

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun
and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone,
where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 13, in 

1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured 
Montreal. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. --- Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the beginning of each semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8, never used." The card was signed, "Must sell." The next day a note had been added: "Good price. Are you sure it's never been used?" Signed, "Prospective buyer." Below in a different hand was: "Positive!" Signed, "Professor who graded his exam." ______________________________________________________ Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!" ______________________________________________________ This time the picture should work! That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr Charlotte, North Carolina Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone, where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns. Michael Grace Jr, son of Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr., was shot and killed during an attempted armed robbery early Sunday morning. Police said Grace Jr and two other people tried to rob a Pizza Hut in the 3200 block of Freedom Drive. During the incident, an employee fired his own handgun and killed Grace Jr. Hairston said she learned of her son’s death on social media, and only got confirmation from police after contacting them first. The grieving mother said she has been left with dozens of questions about the situation that have thus far gone unanswered. “If there was to be a death, it was not the place of the employee at Pizza Hut. That is the place of law enforcement,” said Hairston. Hairston and Grace Sr acknowledged that their son was breaking the law by robbing the business, and said they definitely don’t condone what he did. “It was an act of desperation, but I do not believe that Michael would have hurt anyone,” said Hairston. They said Grace Jr had fallen on hard times and resorted to crime to provide for his own child. They also said their son used to work at the same Pizza Hut restaurant where the robbery happened. They maintain he never would have physically hurt anyone during the robbery. WBTV contacted the local restaurant and the Pizza Hut corporation public relations line. Neither have confirmed that Grace Jr has ever worked as an employee at the Freedom Drive Pizza Hut. CMPD officials have not confirmed the information either. The parents are angry that their son was shot and killed by an employee. They don’t believe the full story has been released to the public. “Why in the hell did this guy have a gun?” questioned Hairston about the employee who shot her son. She said her son was shot in the head, and she thinks the shooting may have even been personal, citing past conflicts Grace Jr had had with other employees at the restaurant. “This wasn’t a body shot. This was a head shot. My son was shot in the left side of his head just behind his ear. A headshot is personal,” said Hairston. Even though their son was in the process of committing a crime, the family thinks his death was undeserved and unjustified. “Even a criminal has a right to a degree,” said Grace Sr. The family said they want Pizza Hut to release more information about the situation and acknowledge that their son used to be a Pizza Hut employee. Pizza Hut previously released the following statement about the incident: "The local Pizza Hut franchisee is fully cooperating with the Charlotte Police Department as they continue their investigation, but want to stress that the security of its staff is of utmost concern. They are providing support to the team members involved to ensure their health and well-being following this incident. The employee involved in the shooting has been placed on a leave of absence following further review." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Don Re: Slow Outlook Dear Webby, I see that, in this issue, you help a subscriber with a computer problem. I would be eternally grateful if you could find a solution to my problem. Here goes: Recently one of my family updated my computer. Now, when I am using the Inbox for Microsoft Outlook there is a long (4-5 seconds) pause in between the time I highlight an entry and the time it is activated and appears on the screen. Do you have any suggestions on how to speed things up? Thanks, Don Dear Don First, check the date/time on your machine. You are living in the past. That causes mail from you to get sorted in among yesterday's already taken care of mail, and is found only by accident. I don't allow Outlook within 20 feet of any computer here, so I don't know that much about Outlook problems. However, I would suggest that you clean out your INbox and either transfer mails to different other mailboxes, or dump them. The leaner you keep the INbox, the faster ANY mail program runs. Have FUN! DearWebby R E S U M E B O O - B O O S "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." "I am a rabid typist." "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Shampoo as Hand Soap Refill By Monique [110 Posts, 181 Comments] I have an alternative to replace pricey hand wash pumps. I use value supermarket brands of shampoo instead! I buy the cheap shampoos from the supermarket. Store branded hand wash start at about £1 a bottle. To begin with I was buying 500g Asda value shampoo for 30p until I saw in Tesco that they have a litre bottle of value shampoo for just 40p. I refilled an old pump dispenser with the shampoo and added a few drops of Tea Tree oil for its antibacterial qualities. A shake and a stir and then it's good to go! I use this to wash my hands so I have a pump by each sink in my home. On one photograph you can see how much of the shampoo was used to fill up the pump dispenser. My bottle (that was part of a Xmas present) is a standard 300g. So my 40 pence shampoo bottle will refill the bottle well over three times! I also use the shampoo to hand-wash my special jumpers and on occasion, to wash my smalls.
And the Waltz Goes On (composed by Anthony Hopkins) directed by Andre Rieu
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Joann for this one: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. "I'm a nurse," she whispered, "and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren't. Who do you think I should see?" Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. "Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. "I can't recommend any of our doctors." "Well, you must know!" she said, heading for the door. ____________________________________________________ Girlfriend: Two of the best things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. Boyfriend: Oh? And which is this? ____________________________________________________
The story of a brave horse in the Marines during the Korean War.
Nancy was talking to her girlfriend....."My psychiatrist told me yesterday that the way to achieve true inner peace is to always finish what I start. I think I'm getting the hang of it-- So far today I've finished a bag of cheetos, a six-pack of beer, and the chocolate cake I baked for my mother's birthday party tomorrow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 13

1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal. 

1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain,
except death and taxes." 

1805 Johann George Lehner, a butcher in Wien (Vienna),
invented a recipe and called it the "frankfurter." The rest
of the world calls it a "Wiener"

1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing
access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the
Hudson River. 

1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in
America took place. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 

1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for
racial segregation on public buses. 

1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first
spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 

1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in
Washington, DC. 

1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli
Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that
the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to
Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free
hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 

1991 Roger Clemens won his third Cy Young Award for the
American League. 

1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 

1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S.
citizens. 

1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press
for the North American rights to her story about her affair
with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order
that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners
captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the
United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time
since World War II that a president had taken such action. 

2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube
for $1.65 million in Google stock. 

2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon.
The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of
the
Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 4 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 217 )
Internet acronym vocabulary 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 12

On Sunday night Nov. 13-14, the full moon will be the 
closest and biggest one since 1948. Take some pictures!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man with golf club smashes an occupied car
with his golf club
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in 

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. ---Doctor Who Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. Your date willl look a lot better to you. --- Socratex Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Scotty for this report: His neighbor took his wife to the doctor for a check up. The doctor examined her and said she seemed depressed. The doctor then asked about their sex life. She answered...it wasn't to great. The the doctor thought a moment, then told the man to increase it to at least three times a week. He then asked when? The doctor suggested that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday ought to do it. His neighbor then apparently paused a moment, and said, "That's alright doctor. I can bring her on Monday and Wednesday, but on Friday she'll have to take the bus ______________________________________________________ A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom." ______________________________________________________ That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam L. Batie, 43, 3227 SE 122nd Terrace, Gainesville, Floriduh Florida man with golf club smashes an occupied car with his golf club A Gainesville man mistakenly thought he was making a show of force to a drug dealer when he clobbered another man's windshield with a golf club, Alachua County deputies reported. The victim told deputies he was driving his red Jeep in the 3200 block of Southeast 122nd Terrace to drop a woman off, an arrest report said. When he left, a Dodge Dakota pulled in front of him, blocking his path, and the Dakota's driver jumped out and smashed the Jeep's windshield with a golf club. In no uncertain terms, the golf club-wielding man told the other driver to leave the neighborhood, and continued whacking the Jeep's driver-side door, deputies said. Adam L. Batie, 43, of 3227 SE 122nd Terrace, was charged with criminal mischief and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, arrest records show. He was held at the Alachua County Jail Thursday morning in lieu of $20,000 bond. Batie told deputies he thought the Jeep's driver was trying to sell drugs to someone at his home, the report said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Myrna Re: Internet vocabulary Dear Webby, is there a place where I can look up what all the weird names and acronyms about Internet related stuff are about, but not pages and pages of technical jargon that will just get me even more confused? I want something that has just a brief sentence or two about each name. Thanks Myrna Dear Myrna Try http://www.matisse.net/files/glossary.html Have FUN! DearWebby A senior student in college reluctantly took a required psychology course. The first day, the professor commented on each student's major, trying to provoke a response. It was working. Some students became defensive. When it was the senior's turn, he told the professor that he was a music major. "So," asked my professor, "what does your father think of you wasting your education to study music." The clever senior shot back with, "He's just thankful that I didn't go into psychology."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Meringue By Abigail A. [22 Posts, 1,341 Comments] Surprisingly meringue is easy to make. Even better, a baked meringue travels well, unlike soft whipped topping. Meringue often requires the whites of the eggs that were used in the recipe, so there is no waste. The pie shown called for three egg yolks, and I made the meringue with the three whites. Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes Total Time: 15 minutes Yield: Enough for 1 pie Ingredients: 3 egg whites 1/4 tsp salt 6 Tbsp powdered sugar Steps: Mix egg whites with salt, then turn up speed on mixer and and beat until whites are stiff and glossy, adding sugar a little at a time. This should be done when pie is set and just needs to be browned. Don't make it early or it will collapse. Remove pie and turn up oven temperature to 400* F. Cover entire top gently with meringue. Use a spatula to "spike" the top giving it the traditional peaked appearance. Put the pie back in the oven and brown. This will take just a few minutes so watch very carefully! The meringue will brown at the same time as the bottom of your pie. The picture shows how it looks when it is done.
baby laughs at bubbles
____________________________________________________ I stopped at a friends house the other day and found him stalking around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he had gotten any flies, he answered, "Yeah, 3 males and 2 females." Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference. He answered, "3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone." ____________________________________________________ An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A week later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt! ____________________________________________________
15 breathtaking views of the world.
One finds the most romantic people at home improvement centers. A friend was helping a couple purchase a new door for their home. After he asked what size they needed, the stumped husband yelled clear across the store to his wife in home supplies, "Honey, c'mon over here and see which one of these doors you can fit through!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 12

1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor
shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 

1840 Sculptor Auguste Rodin was born in Paris. His most
widely known works are "The Kiss" and "The Thinker." 

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him. 

1892 William "Pudge" Heffelfinger became the first
professional football player when he was paid a $500 bonus
for helping the Allegheny Athletic Association beat the
Pittsburgh Athletic Club. 

1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the
first American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 

1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics. 

1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start
of the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments. 

1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party
leading to Stalin coming to power. 

1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
It was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the
National Hockey League (NHL). 

1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was
played. 

1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a
major victory. 

1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway. 

1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the
Exchange National Bank in Chicago, IL. 

1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier
Hideki Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to
death. 

1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking
out home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim of the U.S.
District Court in Philadelphia. 

1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York
Harbor, closed after processing more than 20 million
immigrants since 1892. 

1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37
MPH. 

1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first
NFL head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons.


1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports
from Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 

1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles
of Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 

1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid
I. Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist
Party's Central Committee. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen
snared the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space
salvage. 

1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to
life in prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother,
John A. Walker Jr. 

1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy
statement that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse
to treat someone solely because that person had AIDS or was
HIV-positive. 

1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the
Chrysanthemum Throne. 

1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director. 

1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to
dock with the Russian space station Mir. 

1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to
death in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company
employees. 

1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq
for constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 

1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center. 

1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG. 

2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after
take off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300
crashed into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260
people aboard were killed. 

2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther
Alliance at this point was reported to have control over most
of the northern areas of Afghanistan. 

2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment
Inc. that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions
of dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie
"Spider-Man." Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the
Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 

2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British
painter Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud
sold for $142.4 million at an auction in New York City. 

2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The
height was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the
fourth tallest building in the world at the time. 

2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement
with the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a
merger that would create the world's largest airline. 

2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that
Russian military equipment and Russian combat troops had been
seen entering Ukraine in columns over several days. 

2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet.
The comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.7 / 36 )
How do you catch Mis-spellings in spam? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh man named ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ crashed car, 
stole veteran's wheelchair during police chase
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States and Remembranc e Day in Canada.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." ______________________________________________________ Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while." Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey." Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup Play-Offs. I kicked the TV and broke my leg." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shaquille O’Neal Clemons, 21, Largo, Floriduh Largo man named ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ crashed car, stole veteran's wheelchair during police chase A Largo man, whose name is similar to that of a retired NBA star, is accused of stealing a disabled veteran’s wheelchair to get away from police after he crashed his car during a chase. Largo police say Shaquille O’Neal Clemons, age 21, tried to flee from officers on Oct. 25. Robert Druce, a veteran, witnessed the crash. He attempted to help Clemons, not knowing that was who police were looking for. Druce offered Clemons his wheelchair. “Saw the big wreck and then saw a guy helping a guy out of the car. His leg was broken or something. He fell down in the street, and I let him sit on my chair so he could drive up to the front by the store, so he could sit down on the sidewalk and not be laying in the street,” Druce said. “All of a sudden, I’m chasing my chair down the street.” Instead, Clemons tried to roll away to escape. “I couldn’t catch him,” Druce said. Officers say Clemons was driving a White Mercedes 250 near the area of 36th Street and Melody Lane by East Bay Drive. They tried to pull him over, but police say Clemons took off eastbound on East Bay Drive and then sideswiped a white car and a school bus. There were no kids on the bus. Detectives say Clemons then drove southbound on Belcher Road, where he crashed into two more vehicles at the intersection at Ulmerton Road. “It was pretty crazy. I didn’t even hear it really, until I was looking outside the window and seen everything,” Nina Peralta said. Peralta shot video of the crash on her phone. “I just remember seeing trucks everywhere and cars and police everywhere,” she said. Police say Clemons got into the wheelchair and then headed east on Ulmerton Road, trying to get away from officers. Druce, who suffered a stroke a year ago, says he tried to go after Clemons, but was too weak. A Pinellas Park police officer was in the area and was able to stop Clemons a few blocks away from the crash scene. Druce was able to get his chair back. “No good deed goes unpunished,” he said. One person involved in the crash was critically injured. Clemons was arrested on charges of driving with a suspended or revoked license, reckless driving with property damage and injury, and leaving the scene of a crash with property damage and injury. He has previously been arrested for fleeing and eluding, possession of hydromorphone hydrochloride, possession of marijuana, fleeing and eluding, and violation of probation for aggravated battery. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Fran Re: How do you catch Mis-spellings in spam Dear Webby, Yes, I too have seen all those mif-sbellinks in spam sneaking past my filters. How do I sto that? Fran Dear Fran In MailWasher you can use Regular Expressions. A handy one is the "OR" symbol: | You can for example tell it to look IN THE BODY (pull down selection), then in the second pull down select CONTAINS and then in the content put Vigor|vigar|vogir|vugor and so on. Every time one slips through, look what word they use, and add it. That of course is just one of almost a hundred operators you can use. In the second line you can select the FROM line, in the second selector pull down to BUT NOT IF and put gramma's address into the content part, and a pipe | and humor@webby.com as the second address. So, if any of the naughty words exist in the body, but the FROM address is NOT gramma's address, then it triggers the filter. You can selct what it does with that mail, for example delete it automatically, without even bothering to show it in the list. Until you get comfortable with making filters you can tell it to just flag it for deleting and give you the option to see if your filter is maybe too radical. After a while crafting good filters becomes a game. With MailWasher YOU will win every time. Have FUN! DearWebby A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what he should do next. His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was a complete disaster." His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?" And the young man said, "Oh, she came over, but she can't cook either."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Find Hidden Places to Store Things By Sandi/Poor But Proud [541 Posts, 2,300 Comments] If you have a door you seldom close like I do or even if you do close it, you can often find hidden storage places. I did this today to keep all my crochet thread and ribbon. I love shoe bags and this one is especially good as I can see what is in each pouch. Some are plastic, but flimsy, and others are sturdy, but made of solid fabric. This is the best of both. With these in here, I now have an empty tub to put in my storage closet for other things, and I just garnered a 4 square foot space on my floor. Recently, I moved everything home from storage to save $500.00 over the next 12 months. It's been a challenge to find spaces for things, but it's getting done. And if you think I am kidding don't look in the top shelves of all my kitchen cabinets, under my bathroom sink, or under the day bed. Seriously, don't. N-JOY!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
President Trump was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang." Hallo, President Trump" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ey!" Well Archie,"President Trump replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" President Trump paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "President Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?", President Trump asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Trump sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!" President Trump was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and ! 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Trump! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." I'm sorry to hear that" said President Trump. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's just no darn way we can feed two million prisoners."
Buster the Boxer
____________________________________________________ On a vacation in Texas Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner, he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers. When his meal arrived, the first thing Mike noticed was its size. "Wow," he exclaimed, "everything really IS bigger in Texas!" As he lifted the burger off the plate, his eyes met the cold stare of the 300-pound waitress and the 2 gallon water pitcher she carried. ____________________________________________________
Let's remember our USA Veterans on this special day.
Let's remember our Canadian Veterans on Remembrance Day.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 11

1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 

1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 

1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 

1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held
by the New York Athletic Club. 

1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged
at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 

1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers. 

1889 Washington became the 42nd state of the United States. 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States. 

1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany. 

1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and
H.O. Merriman. 

1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at
Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 

1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless
America" on network radio. 

1940 The Jeep made its debut. 

1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France. 

1946 The New York Knickerbockers (now the Knicks) played
their first game at Madison Square Garden. 

1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin
and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 

1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence
from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 

1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The
craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 

1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the
South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 

1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal. 

1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 

1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class
submarine. 

1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at
age 84. 

1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial Fund. 

1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age
5. 

1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys,"
becoming the second largest computer company. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record
53.9 million dollars in New York. 

1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven
bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea
Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people,
convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 

1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant
recipient, died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 

1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after
World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were
still living in his country voluntarily. 

1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 

1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition. 

1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served
in the Vietnam War. 

1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 

1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall
That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the
United States. 

1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were
laying off 10,000 employees. 

1997 Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third major
league player to win the Cy Young Award four times. 

1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet
apart. 

1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement
with the Palestinians. 

2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to
fight AIDS in India. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 398 )
Mis-spellings in spam 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment, 
steals cash, cooks and eats pizza
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in 

1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after
the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine
Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day
is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine
Corps. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves. --- Albert Guinon One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you." --- George Carlin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys? Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth. Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution. Juror: Not quite true, sir. I think prosecutors should be incinerated at birth. ______________________________________________________ A young man took a city girl for a date at a fancy restaurant out past the suburbs. While studying the menu she asked, "What's filet mignon?" Thinking fast, her date replied, "It's pickled goat's liver. Why?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antionne David, 31, St. Petersburg, Floriduh Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment, steals cash, cooks and eats pizza A St. Petersburg man is behind bars after he reportedly broke into a St. Pete apartment, stole cash and cooked and ate a pizza while inside. According to the affidavit, St. Pete police say Antionne David, 31, allegedly broke into a locked apartment at 450 5th Avenue North sometime between October 17th and October 18th. Police say David forced entry into the residence and once inside he took $35 cash, along with food. He reportedly cooked himself a pizza inside of the victim's microwave and ate it. Police found David's fingerprints on the pizza box and in several locations throughout the apartment. The victim and the suspect do not know each other personally. David is being held at the Pinellas County jail on $10,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Elmar Re: Mis-spellings in spam Dear Webby, Why does spam nowadays have so many mis-spellings and garbled words in it ? Even the garbage language the kids use on their chats makes more sense. Elmar Dear Elmar The spammers know that we are using filters to get rid of their crap, and they are trying to sneak around those filters. Nobody with the smarts of a mashed potato buys from one of those spammers, but unfortunately there are enough idiots out there to make it profitable enough for the spammers to keep trying. Very few of the spam victims ever get what they paid for, but that does not seem to stop other bozos from believing spammers. Have FUN! DearWebby Nobody is perfect unless you are in love with them. Nobody is totally imperfect, unless you used to be in love with them.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home in the sleet and snow. I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use ½ of a popular laundry detergent and ½ of a non chlorine fabric whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for a while. I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket, stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink, where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends to leave a film on glassware). The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for large families, but for a small crew, it should work well. Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need anyone" they replied. "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime anything." "We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job." He was gone about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00. "How in the world did you do that" they asked. "I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone anywhere anytime." "Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "What's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." He was gone about 8 hours and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says "Here is Mr.Brown's and this one is Mr.Smith's." "That's good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"
Photobombs
____________________________________________________ >From Friz We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs." "Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special." "How do you want your eggs?" "Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the eggs home. ____________________________________________________
Video Clips From The Coolest One
____________________________________________________
Today on November 10
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after
the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine
Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day
is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine
Corps. 

1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling. 

1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?" 

1879 Western Union and the National Bell Telephone Company
reached a settlement over various telephone patents. 

1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White
House. 

1919 The American Legion held its first national convention,
in Minneapolis, MN. 

1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 

1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his
counterpart in Alameda, CA. 

1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 

1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season
crowd in NFL history. 

1969 "Sesame Street" made its debut on PBS. 

1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 

1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that
equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in
December of 1991. 

1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew
of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 

1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to
be executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer
was put to death the following January. 

1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped
in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the
cab fare. 

1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack
at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 

1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was
opened to visitors. 

1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 

1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would
be the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project
was cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 

1990 Chandra Shekhar was sworn in as India's new prime
minister. 

1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of
marital sexual assault against his wife who sexually
mutilated him. Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of
malicious wounding of her husband. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases. 

1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop
enforcing the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the
following week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to
lifting the ban. 

1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the
action would end trade sanctions. 

1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-
Wiwa along with several other anti-government activists. 

1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The
disaster left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 

1996 Dan Marino (Miami Dolphins) became the first quarterback
in NFL history to pass for more than 50,000 yards. (Florida) 

1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It
was the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion.


1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the
murder of two CIA employees in 1993. 

1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's
murder conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English
au pair to time served. She had served 279 days in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. 

1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website
(www.thevirtualwall.org) was unveiled. The site allows
visitors to experience The Wall through the Internet. 

2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's
membership. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 4 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.2 / 115 )
Tripod Substitute 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 9
Thank you, Arlene!

Looks like my prediction, that the people would vote not for
or against a candidate, but against the media, just like in
the Gore / Bush fight, came true again. Déjà vu all over
again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Minnesota Woman On Meth Steals Squad Car After Arrest; 
120 mph High-Speed Chase Follows
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9, in 

1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Old Gas Station The service station trade was slow. The owner sat around, With sharpened knife and cedar stick Piled shavings on the ground. No modern facilities had they, The log across the rill Led to a shack, marked His and Hers That sat against the hill. "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?" The owner leaning back, Said not a word but whittled on, And nodded toward the shack. With quickened step she entered there But only stayed a minute Until she screamed, just like a snake Or spider might be in it. With startled look and beet red face She bounded through the door, And headed quickly for the car -- Just like three gals before. She missed the foot log -- jumped the stream, The owner gave a shout, As her pantyhose, down at her knees Caught on a sassafras sprout. She tripped and fell -- got up, and then in obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust. Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do The things they did, and then we found The whittling owner knew. A speaking system he'd devised To make the thing complete, He tied a speaker on the wall Beneath the toilet seat. He'd wait until the gals got set, And then the devilish guy Would stop his whittling long enough To speak into the mike. And as she sat, a voice below Struck terror, fright and fear, "Will you please use the other hole? We're painting under here." ______________________________________________________ An out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife. The next morning, the manager asked the beginner how he did. "Well," the man said, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked my wife if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said, 'Yes.' Then I asked her, 'Why?' and she said, 'Because I love you'." ______________________________________________________ Wisconsin ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jennifer Hillard 35, Alexandria, Minnesota Minnesota Woman On Meth Steals Squad Car After Arrest; 120 mph High-Speed Chase Follows A 35-year-old Alexandria woman is in jail after she allegedly stole a squad car and led police on a high-speed chase Sunday evening. Alexandria police say officers and fire crews were dispatched at 6:41 p.m. Sunday to a fire alarm with visible smoke at an apartment on the 500 block of Broadway Street. Upon arrival, officers saw a small fire burning on the living room floor and quickly put out the fire using an extinguisher. There initially didn’t appear to be anyone inside the residence, but officers discovered the tenant, identified as Jennifer Hillard, entered through the ceiling tiles and was hiding inside the ceiling. Police say Hillard then fell through the ceiling tiles and into an adjoining laundry room. She was found with a methamphetamine pipe and lighter in her possession. She was then placed under arrest, handcuffed with her hands behind her back, and placed in the back seat of a squad car. As authorities continued to deal with the scene, Hillard managed to free one of her hands from the handcuffs and squeezed her way through the back sliding window that may have not been secured, gaining access to the front section of the squad car. She then drove off with the Alexandria squad car. A short time later, an officer with Osakis police intercepted Hillard as she was entering Osakis and began to pursue. Before and during the pursuit, Hillard reached speeds of over 120 mph. The pursuit ended on Beltline Road near Sauk Centre when a Minnesota State Trooper deployed stop sticks. Hillard is in custody at the Dakota County Jail pending a court appearance for charges of arson, theft of a motor vehicle, fleeing a peace officer, driving while impaired, possessing a controlled substance, reckless driving and speeding. Police say there were no injuries and damage to property, with the exception of the Alexandria squad car. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Friz Re: Tripod substitute Dear Webby, I forgot my tripod at home, but I have to as usual make all the pictures at the family gathering. What's a quick and cheap fix? I absolutely need something to help me beacuse I know I am too jittery to take candle light shots by hand without the ugly flash. I do have a remote release. Friz Dear Friz No Panic. Just get a sturdy zip-lock plastic bag, fill it two thirds full with sugar or salt or flour. Place the camera onto the bag. Wiggle it a bit so it sits well. You can put that bag onto any piece of furniture, or even onto a stepladder. The camera will be rock-solid and the pictures even sharper than when you use your tripod. If there is a drinker in the family, then the chances a re good that you can locate one fo those pretty Crown Royal bottle bags. That makes a really classy camera pedestal. Have FUN! DearWebby In Northern Minnesota, the game warden stopped a man leaving a lake with two buckets of fish. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" The man said, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" the warden queried. "Yes, sir," the man explained. "Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. Then I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take 'em home." The game warden glared at the man and said, "That's impossible. Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment and said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." The man poured the fish into the lake and waited. After several minutes, the game warden looked at the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man asked. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH!" And the man said, "What fish?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home in the sleet and snow. I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use ½ of a popular laundry detergent and ½ of a non chlorine fabric whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for a while. I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket, stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink, where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends to leave a film on glassware). The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for large families, but for a small crew, it should work well. Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Have you ever noticed that good jokes always come back to you ? This one came back via Kristine: While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1957." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
Glacier on the move!
____________________________________________________ So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off! ____________________________________________________ While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key." ____________________________________________________
My favorite time of the year.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 9
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see
the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip
by a U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate.
He then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German
troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The
event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took control
of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders at
gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other
labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial
Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became
known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated
its "caucasians only" rule. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states
and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called
upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay."
Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week
Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman
were also involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion
loan to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard
came out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming
a boxing commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London,
appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt,
and asked British businesses to invest. 

1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest
antitrust settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage
firm was ordered to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had
sued over price-rigging of Nasdaq stocks. 

1998 PBS aired its documentary special "Chihuly Over Venice."


2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened
Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to
pedestrians.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 41 )
Phony VISA alert email 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuessay, November 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida teen charged with murder of his grandmother
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 8, in 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring
the Louisiana Purchase territory. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee. --- Lester J. Pourciau ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux found Thibodeaux walking down the levee, looking really down in the dumps. Naturally, he asked Thibodeaux what the problem was. Thibodeaux told Boudreaux, "Well, me and Clothile done had our first fist fight last night." Boudreaux says, "Aw, dat's too bad. What y'all had a fight about?" Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, I told her a joke about de Pope." Boudreaux says, "Mais, Thib, why did you do that? You knows dat Clothile is Catholic." Thibodeaux replies, "Yah, I knew dat, but I didn't know de Pope was too." ______________________________________________________ There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Answer: He is blind, not mute. He can talk and simply ask. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dylan Broughmanm, Jacksonville, Floriduh Florida teen charged with murder of his grandmother The scene that greeted police officers Oct. 10 when they arrived at a domestic disturbance call in East Arlington’s Cobblestone neighborhood was one of mayhem, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office report. Joyce Ann Courson, 69, was sitting in a puddle of blood in the hallway, her right eye split open as fist- and foot-sized holes filled nearby walls in the home on Ashridge Drive, the report said. It all started with her hiding her grandson’s beer, she was able to tell police. Courson’s 18-year-old grandson has been charged with murder after she succumbed to her injuries a week after being slugged repeatedly, according to police. Dylan Nicholas Broughman had initially been charged with aggravated battery, but the murder charge was added Thursday after the Medical Examiner’s Office ruled the death a homicide. Tracey Lynn Broughman, his mother, was briefly in tears Thursday morning after learning of the new charge as she stood in a home that bears the scars of the attack. Calling her mother “my best friend” who took care of them, she looked at holes kicked or punched in three walls near the kitchen and said she felt overwhelmed. “I am sick for the loss of my mother. I am sick for the loss of my son. I don’t feel he deserves to go to prison. I don’t feel in my heart that he meant to do this to the severity that he did,” Broughman said. The initial incident occurred just before 8 a.m. Oct. 10, according to the arrest report. Broughman was in the shower when Courson confiscated his beer. Her grandson became enraged when he couldn’t find his beer and began yelling, “It’s all your fault, everything is your fault!” she told police. From her hospital bed, Courson told them her grandson caved in chunks of the walls in her house and shoved her to the floor as he followed her into a hallway, the report said. That’s when he held her down and punched her in the face with his fist over and over again, then started kicking her. Dillon Ross, a 22-year-old roommate, said he had just gone to bed after his night job when he heard the argument, then some banging. He said the grandmother and grandson sometimes argued in the mornings, so he stayed out of it at first. “She took the beer and he just flipped out and I guess she wouldn’t tell him where she put it, so he started punching holes in the wall, then destroying the house pretty much and then blaming her,” Ross said. “I didn’t think anything of it until I heard this ridiculous crash. That’s when it was like this turned into something crazy. After the crash, I heard the grandmother screaming for help.” Ross said he ran into the foyer and found Courson on the floor, and the 18-year-old was gone. Officers searching the area found Broughman walking nearby on Kernan Boulevard and took him into custody. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Dorothy Re: phoney VISA alert Dear Webby, You might want to advise of the latest VISA scam in email. Thanks! Dorothy Will do. There is some scam-spam going around from some 2-bit crook claiming that your credit card has been used by another person, and that they would help you to get a refund. Actually, they just want to steal your VISA information. If you get that scam-spam, don't click on anything in that email and just delete it. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Ardy for this one: NEWS FLASH! - Dubuque, Iowa - <><><> Iowa's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two local Iowa college students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Dubuque. <> Dubuque search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far, most of them dead, and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. <> The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Sausage and Cabbage Stir-Fry By Sandy [135 Posts] Ingredients: 1 cup noodles uncooked 3/4 lb Polish sausage sliced 8 cups cabbage coarsely chopped 1 small onion 1 apple grated 1/2 tsp. caraway seed 1 Tbsp. brown sugar 2 Tbsp. cider vinegar 1/2 tsp. salt Directions: Cook noodles, drain and set aside. Cook sausage until brown. Remove from skillet. Add to the skillet the cabbage, onion, apple, caraway seed cooking until the cabbage is tender, about 7-10 minutes. Add brown sugar, vinegar and salt. Cover and cook over low heat for 5 minutes. Add sausage and noodles cooking until everything is hot. Source: friend By Sandy from Graettinger, IA Smoked farmer sausage works fine too, more taste, less fat. I save time by cubing an apple or two, half of a sugar cube size. Makes interesting tasty tidbits. Without the noodles, it makes a great veggie side dish. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald and forgetful, they don't recognize you.
bird bounces golf ball on concrete
____________________________________________________ A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing. "Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer. "He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the woman. "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was...." ____________________________________________________ Catholic school test. Kids were asked questions about the Bible. Their answers apparently have not been retouched or corrected. 1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on it in pears. 3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. 4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. 5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. 6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. 7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. 8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments. 9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. 11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. 12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. 13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. 14. Solomon, one of David's sons, slept with 300 wives and 700 porcupines. 15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. 16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus with the manager. 17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. 18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. 19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone. 20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. 21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 debacles. 22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. 23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. 24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. 25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony. ____________________________________________________
Drunk birds in Austria.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 8
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for
the first time. 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring
the Louisiana Purchase territory. 

1889 Montana became the 41st U.S. state. 

1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the
first X-ray pictures. 

1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 

1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as
the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 

1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The
organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4
million unemployed people in the U.S. 

1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 

1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa. 

1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle
took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a
North Korean MiG-15. 

1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son. 

1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 

1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary,
but it evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 

1979 U.S. Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Mac Mathias (R-MD)
introduced legislation to provide a site on the National Mall
for the building of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 

1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in
California announced that they had discovered a 15th moon
orbiting the planet Saturn. 

1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was
"an African State" that was "neither East nor West". 

1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was
delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco,
David Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to
negotiate a release. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000
soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 

1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic
sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan
civil war. 

1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence. 

1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen
from the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works
were valued at $52 million. 

1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way
for the Three Gorges Dam. 

2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the
winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 

2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final
report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993
siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 41 )
Are Yahoo lists safe? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 7

Thank you, Norm!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh Highway Patrol stop reveals warrant for 
cocaine dealing charges
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in 

1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in
the American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts
Bay Colony for heresy. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I found this recipe, I thought it would be perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try. BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 6-7 lb. chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste small plastic bag and duck tape Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing. Put the popcorn into a small heavy duty plastic bag and seal it thoroughly with duck tape. Tape up the chest opening of the chicken with duck tape. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the front of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When the chicken blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done. And, you thought I couldn't cook ! ______________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing nearby. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. ______________________________________________________ From widelec.org ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erne Jean Delva, 32, Princeton, Floriduh Floriduh Highway Patrol stop reveals warrant for cocaine dealing charges A traffic stop resulting in a minor pot bust snowballed for a Princeton man and landed him in county jail on felony cocaine dealing charges after the Florida Highway Patrol trooper who pulled him over discovered two outstanding bench warrants for the man’s arrest. The FHP trooper pulled over Erne Jean Delva, 32, in his “dark-colored sedan” driving southbound on U.S. 1 at mile marker 92, according to the trooper’s Nov. 2 incident report. The trooper wrote that he pulled the car over because it “hit the outside line” of the highway several times. When the trooper walked up to the driver’s side window, he “smelled a strong odor of burnt marijuana coming from within the vehicle.” When asked by the trooper if there was pot in the car, Delva replied that the car wasn’t his and he didn’t know what was in it. “During the search of the vehicle, I found a clear bag containing a green leafy substance inside a tobacco resealable pouch in the center console,” the trooper wrote. “Mr. Delva was placed under arrest for possession of marijuana.” The trooper conducted a computer search of Delva’s records, which revealed he had a bench warrant for sale of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a school and use of a two-way device to facilitate a felony. In addition to the cocaine charges, Delva was also booked on misdemeanor marijuana possession. He’s being held on a total bond of $106,000. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Mia Re: Yahoo Lists Dear Webby, I am subscribed to a few lists on Yahoo, and lately one after the other seemed to have been taken over by some hacker that sent out a message about a proxy-relay trojan and a password to use for getting information about getting back on. The mails had the usual Yahoo Groups sponsor ads on top, something I doubt that a hacker would leave in place, but the grammar in the message was definitely low class, which would point to a hacker. Below the weird message, there were the usual dozen ads abd links that normally are on those newsletters. Naturally I did not click on anything. I am worried though. Since these lists are in no way connected to each other, except that they are all ad suported freebie lists on Yahoo, does that mean Yahoo has been hacked ? How does that affect my Yahoo mail? If they can hack into the lists, can they get to my mail? Mia Yes, if a bunch of different lists were affected, then that would indeed indicate hacker activity. Yahoo mail may be a bit more reliable than hotmail, but it is not really something that anybody should consider as secure. It's mainly a toy for people, who want to disguise themselves. Just becasue Hillary and Huma used it, that does not mean it is secure. That is why their mails are all over the Internet. Your only defense there is toONLY use Yahoo mail for those lists, and never link to your proper email or anything, that might benefit a hacker. Just get an email address based on your ISP, or a Gmail address for your proper email. Have FUN! DearWebby Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars." One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 50 dollars." Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly,I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Monster Doughnuts By lalala... [782 Posts, 103 Comments] 7 found this helpful If you are looking for a quick and inexpensive treat, give these monster doughnuts a try! They are perfect for a Halloween party or as a classroom treat! Ingredients: glazed ring doughnuts plastic vampire teeth chocolate chips Steps: Squeeze the plastic teeth shut and insert them into the center of the doughnuts. Push chocolate chips into the doughnuts for eyes.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Just A Question How come when you mix water and flour together, you get glue... and then you add eggs and sugar... and you get cake? Where did the glue go? NEED AN ANSWER? You know darned well where it went! The glue is what makes the cake... stick to your hips!
bird bounces golf ball on concrete
____________________________________________________ A man who suffered from impotence went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him a revolutionary new injection made from monkey glands, which worked perfectly. Nine months and two weeks later, his wife had a baby. When the nurse came out of the delivery room with the news, he asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?" "We won't know until your kid comes down off the chandelier." ____________________________________________________ From Rikka: Dear Webby Please if you can send me or post again that oldie but goody Hawaiian good luck sign story? Many thanks Rikka Dear Rikka, it's a bit long, but here it is: The Letter from Gramma: The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my own horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing...why, even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning of course, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks! Grandma ____________________________________________________
Drunk birds in Austria.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 7
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in
the American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts
Bay Colony for heresy. 

1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by
William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or
(Tippecanoe). 

1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying
to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 

1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 

1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by
Albert H. Hook. 

1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to
vote. 

1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first
transcontinental railway in the mountains of British
Columbia. 

1916 Jeanette Rankin of Montana became the first woman
elected to the U.S. Congress. 

1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The
provisional government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown
by forces led by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 

1918 During World War I, a false report through the United
Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 

1932 "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" was broadcast for the
first on CBS Radio. 

1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
Washington state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension
bridge had opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 

1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first
person to win a fourth term as president. 

1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television
commercials. 

1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland,
OH, becoming the first black mayor of a major city. 

1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that
college students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would
lose their draft deferments. 

1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of
the War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to
wage war without congressional approval. 

1983 A bomb exploded in the U.S. Capitol. No one was injured.

1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of
Justice. The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including
11 Supreme Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by
leftist guerrillas belonging to the April 19 Movement. 

1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He
had been president since the country's independence in 1956. 

1988 Sugar Ray Leonard knocked out Donnie LaLonde. 

1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia,
becoming the first elected African-American state governor in
U.S. history. 

1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's
first African-American mayor. 

1989 Richard Ramirez, convicted of California's "Night
Stalker" killings, was sentenced to death. 

1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested
positive for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was
retiring from basketball. 

1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on
the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 

1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no
contest to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been
arrested in Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater. 

1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men
admitted to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 

1999 Tiger Woods became the first golfer since Ben Hogan in
1953 to win four straight tournaments. 

2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first
president's wife to win public office. The state of New York
elected her to the U.S. Senate. (New York) 

2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched. 

2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying
commercially.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.2 / 59 )
Dye sub printers 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Naked man arrested after driving with wires attached 
to genitals
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ “If Trump is elected, it makes me sad, but I have no choice,” commented Miley Cyrus to the Rolling Stones magazine this week. “I could never live under a president like him, it would be like living under the Soviet dictatorship of Hitler.” --- Miley Cyrus Canada has always welcomed all big tax payers. Even a silly screecher, who does not know the difference between the Communist Soviets and Hitler's Hillarian National Socialism, is quite welcome. It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great. --- Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939) Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bea for this one: For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I car pooled to get our children to soccer practice. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know." ______________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kurt Jenkins, 56, BOYNTON BEACH, Floriduh Naked man arrested after driving with wires attached to genitals A South Florida man was caught naked driving slowly through a neighborhood with electrical wires protruding from his penis, police said. News outlets report Kurt Jenkins, 56, was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition, exposure of sexual organs and resisting a law enforcement officer without violence. According to Boynton Beach police, a witness said on Monday that the naked man, identified as Jenkins, drove by him, gesturing for him to look toward Jenkins' groin area. That's when the witness saw an electronic device with wires attached to Jenkins' penis. The witness said Jenkins asked him to get inside, but he declined and called police. Arriving officers said Jenkins refused to comply their commands. Jenkins was taken to the ground and handcuffed, police said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Lorne Re: Dye Printers Dear Webby, I heard that dye printers print better colors than inkjet. How much do those cost? Lorne If you have to ask how much they cost, then a dye sublimation printer is not the printer for you. The individual dots produced are better, but the prints are fuzzy, compared to a laser printer. The prints look about the same as old style chemical process photos. Laser and even inkjet printers produce sharper images. Dye printers are usually just special purpose printers for ID badges, drivers licenses, textile, and so on. They are made to print specific media in a specific size, like drivers licenses. You can get them in sizes to print heat transfer pages for t-shirts or cups. Some even print directly onto plastic cups. The dye ribbons are very expensive compared to laser toner. Unless you have a very specific need like ID cards or T- shirts, you are better off getting a decent laser printer. Have FUN! DearWebby A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Crescent Pizza Rolls By tiffanytallent1981 [15 Posts, 11 Comments] I think it is safe to bet that almost everyone loves pizza! And if you are looking for a great tasting variation, these rolls are the perfect choice. They make fabulous appetizers for events, parties, and reunions. I actually prepare one package and split them between dinner one night, and lunch the next day. They are just as good reheated in the microwave, so nothing has to be wasted if there are leftovers. Prep Time: 10 Cook Time: 10-12 minutes Total Time: 20-25 minutes Yield: 8 Source: Pinterest Ingredients: 1 pkg. crescent rolls 24 pieces pepperoni 4 mozzarella string cheese sticks Marinara, ranch, or other dipping sauce 1 sprinkle garlic powder 1/8 cup grated Parmesan cheese cooking spray (for some pans) Steps: Cut string cheese sticks in half. Lay out the crescent roll triangles. Add 3-4 slices of pepperoni to each triangle, slightly overlapping. Place them along the base of the triangle, going toward the middle. Add a cheese stick half on top of each set of pepperoni. Preheat oven to 350-375 degrees F. You will bake them at the temperature given in the crescent roll directions. Every oven is different and mine works better at 350 F. Use cooking spray if you feel it is needed. I actually did not have any with this current batch. The rolls still practically slid off of my pan! Fold the crescent corners around the pepperonis and cheese sticks, leaving no holes. If you have any holes, the cheese will melt out and burn on the pan. Sprinkle garlic powder on top of the rolls. Place in the oven for 5-8 minutes. The darker you want the bottoms of the rolls, the longer you leave them in the oven. Take them out and flip each roll over. Place back in the oven for 4-6 minutes. The time depends on how dark you want them. I try to leave mine for 6 minutes the first time and 3-4 minutes after they have been flipped. Take them out of the oven and sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top. Serve with your choice of dipping sauce. Don't forget the Pizza Sauce! I prefer smearing pizza sauce on first, then pepperoni or salami or ham, a paper-thin slice of onion, a very light sprinkle of garlic salt, Oregano and Cilantro (Italian Parley), then a thin slice of Mozarella. Works OK rolled up or left flat for a square pizza. Whichever way you do it, don't forget the Pizza Sauce! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered about 2 feet!"
Pentatonix - Hallelujah
____________________________________________________ A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor today and he told me that I should drink 'Less'." ---------- hmmm Might be profitable to print some bottle or can labels for a beer called LESS and stick them onto the cheapest beer you can buy, and sell your LESS beer at a decent mark-up. A lot of people will buy it just as conversation pieces. ____________________________________________________ A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out "CROSS". Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS." The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound." The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The pastor said "SEX." The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from way in the back of the church, a little 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES." ____________________________________________________
People are AWESOME! The best of the month of October, 2016.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 6
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 

1832 Joseph Smith, III, was born. He was the first president
of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day
Saints. He was also the son of Joseph Smith, the founder of
Mormonism. 

1851 Charles Henry Dow was born. He was the founder of Dow
Jones & Company. 

1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth
president of the United States. 

1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S. 

1869 The first official intercollegiate football game was
played in New Brunswick, NJ. 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 

1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the
United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The
document granted rights to the United States to build and
indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its
defenses. 

1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of
Indian miners in South Africa. 

1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 

1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric
shaver. 

1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of FM
broadcasting. 

1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll
in the Pacific Ocean. 

1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well
ignited when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450
feet and 800 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when
a team led by Red Adair used explosives to deprived the fire
of oxygen. (Devil's Cigarette Lighter) 

1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that
condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The
resolution also called for all member states to terminate
military and economic relations with South Africa. 

1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow
250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 

1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing
Jupiter. 

1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a
mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march into
the nation of Western Sahara. 

1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending
a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible
College in Georgia. 

1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of thousands
leaflets over northern and central Grenada. The leaflets
urged residents to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army
or Cuban resisters to the U.S-led invasion. 

1984 For the first time in 193 years, the New York Stock
Exchange remained open during a presidential election day. 

1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19
Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 

1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced
in Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to
being the head of a family spy ring. 

1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the
release of seven American hostages. 

1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the
U.S. announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian
assets that had been held since 1979. 

1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire. 

1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil
fires ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 

1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 

1996 Michael Jordan scored 50 points for the 29th time in his
NBA career. 

1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb
killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 

1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop
Britain's queen as their head of state. 

2001 In London, the "Lest We Forget" exhibit opened at the
National Memorial Arboretum. Fred Seiker was the creator of
the 24 watercolors. Seiker was a prisoner of war that had
been forced to build the Burma Railroad, the "railway of
death," for the Japanese during World War II. 

2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people.
The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 

2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 6 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 107 )
How to get animated GIFs to move 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
BLM Pennsylvania mother kills 17-month-old son and texts
video of boy's body to his father with laughing emoji
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 5, in 
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English
Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th
in Britain to celebrate his attempt to blow up all the
members of Parliament and King James I. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement
at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. --- Ralph W. Sockman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A reporter from Chicago was visiting an old colleague, who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Kati for this one: The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!" ______________________________________________________ Yesterday's peacock picture was from Noella From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Fred An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christian Clark 21, McKeesport Pennsylvania Pennsylvania mother kills 17-month-old son and texts video of boy's body to his father with laughing emoji A Pennsylvania woman killed her 17-month-old son and texted a video of the boy's body to his father along with a "laughing" emoji, cops say. Christian Clark was arguing with the boy's dad Tuesday when she sent him texts including, "Ya kids ain't safe here I don't want them here" and "I'm killing them" — followed by the emoji. Clark, 21, sent a video of a girl and then a boy face down on a bed, according to the Post-Gazette. "Ahh, look, Angel is still alive and sweating your son on the other hand is not even breathing," the mother said in the video, according to an affidavit obtained by the newspaper. "I wish I could keep the camera still." "Send it to the cops post it to fb idc anymore you ruined my life," her boyfriend Andrew Price Jr. replied, according to the Post-Gazette. The little boy was found unresponsive in the McKeesport home and died later that night, the newspaper reported. The little girl seen in the video is alive. Clark admitted smothering the little boy, and she was taken into custody on charges including criminal homicide. Authorities recovered many disturbing messages from her boyfriend's cellphone. "I don't want these kids here," one of her texts read, according to the newspaper. "Ya kids aint safe here i don't want them here ... Answer me or im going to jail for child endangerment." Later she wrote, "I really snapped this time." "Try to wake him up I said hold him," Price said, according to the paper. "Its okay im dialing 911," she responded. "You need to if he dead," Mr. Price wrote. Ms. Clark was being held in the Allegheny County Jail on Wednesday night without the possibility of posting bail. A preliminary hearing is scheduled for Nov. 16. BLM Black Lies & Murder ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Fiona Re: Animated Gif's not animated Dear Webby, Whenever I save an animated picture from the net and then look at it with my paint program it just sits there and does not move. What am I doing wrong? Fiona Dear Fiona Your paint program shows you ONE picture of the many that make up the animation. Just use your browser to show it. If your animation is for example on the C: drive in the PIX directory, and is called anim123.gif, then type into the browser address bar: C:\pix\anim123.gif and it will instantly show in full motion. Have FUN! DearWebby A Newfie came out West and some friends took him along for curling. As luck would have it, he won an Ice auger for ice fishing. A lot of beer later, when they got kicked out of the curling club, the Newfie wants to go ice fishing right then and there. It's about as foggy outside as it is in his head, after all those beers, but his keen eyes spot some ice not far away. Proudly carrying his nice, shiny, red auger, he stumbles in that direction and decides that he'll give it a go. He carefully takes the safety cover off the point. You may think thasch easchy, but if you hol yourschelf upright with the schilly Ische auger, every time you pull the plaschtik thingamagig off the bottom point, you fffall down! Musch easier if you doing while lying down. Finally he starts drilling. Suddenly, a loud voice booms out at him, "There's no fish in here." The Newfie looks all around him in the fog, but can't see anyone. He decides to ignore the voice and carries on drilling. Again, the voice booms out, "I've told you, there's no fish in here!" He looks up again but there's still no sign of anyone so he returns to his task. "Stop it!" shouts the now very angry sounding voice, "You'd better pack up your stuff and get out of here or there'll be trouble." "Who are you" shouts the drunk guy, "you don't scare me!" There was a big, thundering roar and the the loud voice again: "I'm the manager of this hockey rink, and I'm starting up the Zamboni!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Pet Urine Stains from Hardwood Floors By Margaret P. [1 Comment] I too have tried so many tricks including vinegar water mixture to remove the dog urine stains and odor from the hardwood floor of our 30 year old home. Finally it was my husband who bought me a Hoover FloorMate Cleaner 64oz from the nearby shop here in Canada. It really worked well. You too may try once.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself. "How romantic!" she thought. Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker." "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?" "More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes."
bison fight at Yellowstone campgrounds
____________________________________________________ An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on her leg, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes, sure" he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe with that stupid cast on my good leg!" ____________________________________________________ Pat and Mike were once very good friends. One day when they were still on speaking terms, Pat went over to Mike's house to visit, but when he got there, Mike was out. Mike's wife was holding the ferociously fighting baby who had different plans, and trying to put up curtains at the same time. "Pat," she said, "I'm glad you came. Would you mind holding the baby while I finish the curtains?" A few minutes later, Pat came in and said to Mike, "How ya doin, Mike?" Said Mike, "I'm holding my own". That's when the battle started. ____________________________________________________
Bird parents taking care of their bird babies.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 5
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English
Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th
in Britain to celebrate his attempt to blow up all the
members of Parliament and King James I. 

1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 

1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for
attempting to vote in the presidential election. She never
paid the fine. 

1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later.


1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 

1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
Company. 

1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented
third term in office. 

1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 

1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29. 

1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally
reopened. 

1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during
the Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days
later. 

1959 The American Football League was formed. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement
at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the
world's tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 

1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran. 

1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving
24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced
to life for treason against the white minority government of
South Africa. 

1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child
(Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. (for more
information) 

1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was
shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His
assassin, Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the
murder and was sentenced to life in prison for his part in
the World Trade Center bombing. 

1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were
later convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 

1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease. 

1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round
of their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed
up to 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 

1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by
delegates from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 

1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both
arrested and charged with battery and domestic violence in a
hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 

1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 

2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer
Airbus and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint
venture specializing in airline services. 

2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed
13 people and wounded 30 others. He was sentenced to death in
2013, but has not been executed yet.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 8 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.2 / 478 )
Cheap calculator 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Half-naked mother-of-three, 37, is arrested for chasing 
cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 4, in 
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is." "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her." "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Chris for this one: There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know you all have experienced this, and here's the way one old guy handled it. An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it," the man replied. The doctor's office erupted in roaring laughter. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Candice Kreidel, 37, Cunningham, Tennessee Half-naked mother-of-three, 37, is arrested for chasing cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup Who Is Candice A. Kreidel? Candice A. Kreidel is a 37 year old woman from Montgomery County, Tennessee. On October 27, 2016, Candice A. Kreidel was arrested by Montgomery County Tennessee police. Kreidel was partially nude while wearing clown makeup, and she was chasing and jumping on cars in the town of Cunningham. The arrest warrant noted “a series of calls about a white female wearing clown-like makeup, a stocking cap, and was either partially or completely nude that was running up and down Louise Road, chasing cars and jumping out in front of other cars.” Kreidel was intoxicated and locked up due to being a danger to herself and others. She was also charged with making numerous non-emergency calls to 911. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Sue Re: Calculator Dear Webby, I need a cheap calculator. What do you recommend? Sue Dear Sue Click on START type calc Hit Enter It is just a very basic calculator, but it is built in. PowerCalc from XP does not work in W7 or W8 or W10. You can run it in Google, though. Just google for powercalc It is a bit klutzy and you can't scroll back and edit, but it can do more than the built in calc. Personally I use a spreadsheet, Quattro or Excel or Calc in Open Office or office Libre. There you can scroll back, edit, type comments, have different layers, for example for different months, and call numbers like totals from those months onto a cover sheet. When you edit any sheet, the totals on the cover sheet automatically update. Sounds intimidating? It's not. You'll kick yourself for not having started playing with spreadsheets a long time ago. Have FUN! DearWebby A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five-dollar bill, folded it care- fully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cinnamon to Deter Ants By Jess [163 Posts, 843 Comments] I tried this in my kitchen recently because the sugar ants were starting to show up on my countertops. I scattered cinnamon behind my sink, which is where they seem to get into the house. I haven't seen an ant in days! I even left a box of donuts on the counter and they have been left entirely alone. Seems much safer than using ant poison or boric acid in my kitchen.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
dog barks at cat on stairs
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Ardy for this classic: A man walked into the ladies department of a Macys and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk? "Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the sales lady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four of bras to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The sales lady replied "There are Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?" Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Sales lady responded, "It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." ____________________________________________________ (Q) What' s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? (A) A northern zoo has latin names and stuff nobody reads on the cages. A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. ____________________________________________________
Making people laugh from the grave. My Dad's headstone says on one side: Pardon Me For Not Standing Up And on the other side: Remember friend as you pass by As you are now so once was I As I am now so soon you'll be Prepare yourself to follow me
____________________________________________________
Today on November 4
1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin
Palmer. 

1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the
anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost
tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 

1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality
stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy
allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 

1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air-
conditioned car was put on display. 

1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El
Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for the
British. 

1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the
uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 

1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and
took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants,
mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah
back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later
released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 

1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle
Columbia was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the
countdown. 

1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 

1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was
returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had
been kidnapped by the CIA. 

1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East
Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 

1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight
a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 

1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi
Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President
Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford
and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S.
chief executives. 

1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was
assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending
a peace rally. 

1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against
the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The
sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to
turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with
masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in
Kenya and Tanzania. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had
its world premiere in London. 

2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and
thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture of
sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received
the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40
years. 

2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 135 )
BleachBit versus CrapCleaner 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh homeless man returns to the bank he robbed 
after getting a drink 
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in 
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of 
Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the 
Mona Lisa. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Teenagers should move out earlier, while they still know it all. --- Socratex "I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence." --- Doug MacLeod ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The following ad is reported to have gotten numerous calls... SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a good looking female who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Lab. ______________________________________________________ Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six." An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Daniel Stump, 36, Key West, Floriduh Homeless man returns to the bank he robbed after getting a drink An unarmed homeless man robbed a Key West bank Tuesday only to return when he heard the police sirens and immediately surrender, a city spokeswoman said. Stephen Daniel Stump, 36, was arrested on felony charges of robbery and falsely reporting an explosive device after police said he walked into the Centennial Bank branch at 701 Whitehead St. at about 12:30 p.m. demanding money and lying that he had a bomb in his backpack. Stump left with an undisclosed amount of cash and headed over to a Duval Street restaurant, Mangoes, and ordered a drink from the bar. “He paid with a $50 bill from the robbery, telling the bartender to keep the change,” said city spokeswoman Alyson Crean. “When he heard sirens, he apparently returned to the bank and was apprehended. All of the money was recovered.” Stump, whose ID card gave his home address as Key West’s homeless shelter, was arrested without incident and the bank building and his backpack were deemed safe by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad. Crean said she cannot legally release how much money was stolen. She said while police were interviewing witnesses, one bank employee looked out a window and spotted Stump standing right outside. Stump walked up, put down his backpack and waited to be arrested, Crean said. The robbery shut down part of Whitehead Street for about a half-hour Tuesday while police worked the scene. He will be getting free room and board all winter at the jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Dave Re: BleachBit versus CrapCleaner Dear Webby, Hope all is well with you and yours. In the news we hear about BleachBit how does it compare to CrapCleaner? Dave Dear Dave CrapCleaner has been around for a long time and has been steadily improved all along. It is still free, just supported by voluntary donations. BleachBit got a lot of publicity because Hillary Clinton ordered her IT staff to clean her servers and her machines and those of Abedin, her assistant, with BleachBit, after they got almost a week's notice, that the FBI wanted to look at them. Like CrapCleaner and all utilities since X-Tree and Norton Commander in good old DOS, BleachBit too has a shredder included. Most techies prefer CrapCleaner because it has more professional tools included, but the shredder is very basic and included in all utilities. I don't remember if Hillary's server was Windows or Linux. On Linux servers you have "wipe", "srm" the Secure Remove, "shred", and a few other ones. If you have CrapCleaner, stick with it. Have FUN! DearWebby Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Morris, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000. In all honesty I cannot unfairly accept two bribes." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Morris saying, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gluing Glass to Glass Best Answer By Cindy [1 Post, 32 Comments] E6000 will work. It's great for glass. I sell tons of it in my craft shop. You should be able to find it locally.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
This guy went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist. The doctor showed the man an inkblot and asked, "What does this remind you of?" The guy replied, "A naked woman." Then the shrink showed the man another inkblot and asked the guy the same question. The guy responded, "A naked woman on a bed." This went on and on, inkblot after inkblot. The psychiatrist finally said to the guy, "You are a sick pervert." The guy replied, "I'm not the pervert here. You're the one who keeps showing me all of those naughty pictures." --------------------------- You gotta be nuts to go see a psychiatrist!
dog barks at cat on stairs
____________________________________________________ Ole decided to buy Lena a new car for her birthday. They shopped and shopped. Finally, Lena found one she liked. But before signing the papers, Lena looked at the car one more time. Suddenly, she bristled and walked away, saying she didn't want the car. She wouldn't even talk about it. On the way home, Ole said, "Vell, Lena, I tot yew liked dat car. Vat changed yer mind about it? "Ole, I yust don't vant any car vit XL on it," Lena answered. "It's bad enuff having dat on my undervear." ____________________________________________________ "Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application." ____________________________________________________
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
____________________________________________________
Today on November 3
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 

1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate
himself to the conversion of Native Americans to
Christianity. 

1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder
of Texas. 

1796 John Adams was elected the 2nd U.S. President. 

1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 

1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at
LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 

1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at
New York's Madison Square Garden. 

1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 

1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis
Chevrolet and William C. Durant. 

1934 The first race track in California opened under a new
pari-mutuel betting law. 

1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the
Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 

1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in
a supermarket in Chester, NY. 

1953 The Rules Committee of organized baseball restored the
sacrifice fly. The rule had not been used since 1939. 

1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the
first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 

1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March
29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet
Mercury. 

1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to
death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 

1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first
broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the
release of seven American hostages. The story turned into the
Iran-Contra affair. 

1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms
to Iran. 

1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their
first-ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 

1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her
two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the
children had been abducted by a black carjacker.

1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103. 

1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to
prepare for to battle "the U.S. monster." 

1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor. 

2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 

2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution
was unveiled. 

2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was
the first Disney film completely created with computer
animation. 

2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 4 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.7 / 31 )
VCR to DVD 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman mails contraband to jail, blames inmate
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 1, in 
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, 
changed his title to emperor.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not. --- Isaac Asimov I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady just ahead of me at a recent art show was looking at a painting with an ugly mish-mash of colors and turned to me and asked, "What's that?" I said, "According to the program flier, it's supposed to be a cowboy on his horse." "Supposed to be!", she sneered. "And whoever signed it, is 'supposed to be' a painter?" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Three guys met in a bar and spent the afternoon drinking and telling stories. Finally, as evening approached, they realized that it was time to go. So they signaled the bartender and told him they wanted to pay their tab. The bartender left and returned, saying the total bar bill was $3.00. "Three dollars," they gasped, and one said, "Surely you must be wrong, it has to be more than $3.00, we've been here all afternoon. We must have had 10 beers apiece." "That's right" said the bartender, "thirty beers at ten cent's apiece, that's $3.00." The men were amazed that the beer was so cheap, but the bartender went on to explain, "You see," he said, "I won the lottery and I wanted to open a bar where folks could come and drink for a reasonable price and have fun. So I use my lottery winnings to subsidize the cost, that's why drinks are so cheap." The men nodded, but one of them asked the bartender, "Those two guys over there, they've been here for two hours and they haven't had anything to drink, what's going on?" "Oh those guys" the bartender replied, "they're from Florida. They are waiting for happy hour." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: Another rare October bloomer bloomed Oct 31. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacklyn Suzanne Stacey Birthdate: December 31, 1969 Height: 5'03"Weight: 120 lb Crestview, Floriduh Woman mails contraband to jail, blames inmate A woman accused of trying to get her jailed ex-boyfriend in trouble mailed him six strips of a narcotic substance, lawmen say. A corrections officer detected the illegal drugs while checking incoming mail. When he asked the inmate about them, the man said that he only got mail from two people – his mother and the mother of his child. He added that the mother of his child, Jacklyn Suzanne Stacey, a known and previously arrested meth-head, has been trying to get him in trouble to get custody of their child. Stacey’s age and address are not listed on her Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report. The reason given is that she is a former law enforcement official or the spouse or child of a law enforcement officer. The info is on the web because of her prior arrests. When deputies interviewed Stacey, she admitted attaching the orange strips to the envelope and mailing them to the inmate. She said he’d requested that she do it, according to her arrest report. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From John Re: VCR to DVD problems Dear Webby, Sorry for taking up so much of your time, but Im in a bind again. There are three parts to my problem. 1.. A couple of years ago I purchased a DVD Video recorder/Video cassette recorder. (TOSHIBA) model DVR630KCn to convert my VHS tapes to disc / It took me a while to get it figured out , . I am copying thirty min programs on each disc, with up to 4 blocks on each disc ,This is fine , but they wont play back on any other machine, eg.my computer, with windows seven. I have fromated each disc before I start and finalized it after, Any Suggestions . 2. My daughter is having the same problem, , only she is using one of them converters that she plugs into an VCR and into her hard drive. 3. where is the best place to buy DVD-RWS by the gross. with no shirts. Thank for you help, Have fun 4 Am I using the proper discs??????? John B Dear John I asked Jerome from http://nacards.net, the real expert in these matters: His reply was First a quick answer for John. You can only use DVD-R’s for use of video. You stated that you formatted each one which tells me you are using DVD-RW’s Your DVD recorder does a good job of recording. To play on a newer DVD player that accepts avi, wav, or mp4 formats, you can directly copy those to the disk. Jerome Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Flo for this one: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Earning Money Online By Suntydt [75 Posts, 877 Comments] 14 found this helpful I saw the "Auctions for Income" infomercial the other night. It looked interesting, but I am always skeptical about infomercials. I did a quick search via Google and the majority of the sites that popped up on the first page of results basically yelled "SCAM!" in just as many words. As mentioned there is a way to make money via eBay, but you need a product people want that everyone else isn't selling. My advise to anyone interested in doing something like this is to consider items that can be used on multiple sites. For example, I go to yard sales, flea markets, Goodwill, and pawn shops and buy DVDs. Usually the more I buy, the cheaper I can get the product. I verify every disc is in like new condition before I make my offer. I list my items first on Amazon. Items that either don't have a listing or are selling for pennies on Amazon, I try to list on another site. On this other site, you trade DVDs (you pay for shipping when someone asks for one of your DVDs). As you mail DVDs you get to request DVDs. About once a week I go through the recently posted DVDs and see if any are going for big bucks on Amazon. If they are I request them and when they show up I list them on Amazon. For the DVDs that I can't put on Amazon or aren't listable on the trading site, I post them on eBay. If they sell, great. If they don't, I can always have my own yard sale when the summer comes back around. It takes a bit of organization and attention to detail, but it works. For example, last month I was at a pawn shop in a town I only get to on occasion. I stopped there as an after thought. They were packed with DVDs. I bought 180 DVDs at .70 cents each - roughly $125. In the first week I sold 10 and made $73, more than half of what I paid. You won't be a millionaire anytime soon, but it will keep you busy and you make some money. The added benefit is if this is something you enjoy - I love it :) And just as another note for success: when I start listing DVDs on Amazon, I double check their condition. I only post DVDs in "Like New or Very Good" condition (usually I only post "Very Good" DVDs when there are few of them for sale and they appear hard to get). I also check the DVDs when I have an order and pack them for shipment. Reputation I believe is vey important to many people who shop online, and my profile only brags about the quality of what I sell (selling more in the long run). And when I slip the paper of the order in the package I always include a note: I thank them for the order and I ask them to go back to Amazon and leave feedback. If this sounds like something you are interested in you can do the same thing with paperback books and CDs. I am sure there are other things as well, but I'm having fun with what I am doing so I haven't looked for anything else Second note to success: the lowest price I sell something covers my costs and makes me a dollar. Costs include the packing materials, postage, and the gas to get to and from the post office. So these three things plus one dollar is my minimum price for a product. That's just good business. Have fun, meet people and make some money. Or as they say in the races "Ready, Set, GO!" By suntydt from Tazewell, TN
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
SexySassySatin's riddles: The word is: heroine What am I? heart
ife calls exterminator for musicians
____________________________________________________ >From Noella: Once I helped a friend with a garage sale. She lived across the street from a church where they were having a wedding. I put up a large sign - "Last-Minute Wedding Gifts Here!" Many came to check it out! ____________________________________________________ A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?" "Idiot!", the older doctor hissed at him, "Three prescriptions and a couple of months of hiccups therapy would have gone a lot further towards paying off your student loan, and would have eventually cured her hickups too." ____________________________________________________
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
____________________________________________________
Today on November 2 
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor. 

1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont,
became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he
deserted. 

1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 

1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an
electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat.
307,031). 

1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest
took place in America. 

1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed
support for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 

1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of
Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting. 

1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined
with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form
the American Birth Control League. 

1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 

1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber.
It was named DuPrene. 

1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden
airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's
first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because
of the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never
went into production. 

1948 Harry S. Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey for the U.S.
presidency. The Chicago Tribune published an early edition
that had the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." The Truman
victory surprised many polls and newspapers. (Illinois> 

1960 In London, the novel "Lady Chatterly's Lover," was found
not guilty of obscenity. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was
dismantling the missile sites in Cuba. 

1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was
assassinated in a military coup. 

1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply
for permanent residence in the U.S. 

1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New
Jersey prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for
the 1973 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 

1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in
the U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning
death of her boyfriend. 

1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions
on television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both
local and foreign journalists. 

1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt
Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for
$30,800. 

1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being
held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 

1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of
taxicab service in Princeton, NJ. 

1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for
good because of fear due to his HIV infection. 

1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator
Bob Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 

1993 Christie Todd Whitman was elected the first woman
governor of New Jersey. 

1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering
up $1.1 billion in trading losses. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his first in-depth interview
since the White House sex scandal to Black Entertainment
Television talk show host and political commentator Tavis
Smiley on the network's "BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley." 

2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The
film recorded the best debut ever for an animated film and
the 6th best of all time. 

2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated
the church's first openly gay bishop.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 282 )
Search Engine Optimiser Scams 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, Novembert 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Denver Cop Charged With Theft Thanks to Own Body Camera
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 1, in 
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The nudity on
the paintings have been painted over in the 1970's.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless. --- Paul Johnson "The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers." --- Edgar R. Fiedler Election promises are the opposite of forecasts. --- DW ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady just ahead of me at a recent art show was looking at a painting with an ugly mish-mash of colors and turned to me and asked, "What's that?" I said, "According to the program flier, it's supposed to be a cowboy on his horse." "Supposed to be!", she sneered. "And whoever signed it, is 'supposed to be' a painter?" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop: "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer". He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were off! About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: This one bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Julian Archuleta, 48, Denver, Colorado Denver Cop Charged With Theft Thanks to Own Body Camera A Denver cop who claimed $1,200 "must have fallen into his bag" at the scene of a car crash was arrested and suspended without pay after footage from his own body camera told a different story. The footage showed Julian Archuleta, a 48- year-old who has been on the force since 2004, responding to a report of shots being fired earlier this month, reports the Denver Post. When the suspects rolled over their car after a short chase, one fled the scene while the other was unconscious in the vehicle. Archuleta's body camera captured him removing money from the suspect's clothing after it had been cut away by paramedics. In the footage, Archuleta could be seen reshuffling the money and removing a $100 bill from a stack of bills, 9News reports. He was contacted by Internal Affairs after a detective reviewed the footage and noticed that there had been no $100 bills recovered from the scene. Archuleta told them he would "check his war bag" and later claimed to have discovered 12 $100 bills that "must have fallen" in there. He faces a felony charge of tampering with physical evidence and misdemeanor charges of first-degree official misconduct and theft. Police say that because of his actions, the shooting investigation was blown and the suspect was never charged. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Rosa Re: Search engine Optimizing Dear Webby, My dad's consultant told me that all these Search Engine Optimizers are just con artists who can't make a living with their own web sites, so they are spamming and trying to con money out of people who make money on the web. However, some of those SEOs sound very convincing. I notice that your Mypostcards.com has been at the top of Google for many years and you don't buy ad words and you don't even use meta tags. What's the real scoop? Rosa Dear Rosa Your dad's consultant is very wise. You have to understand that the search engines are not in business to please a bunch of tricksters, but to deliver the content that people are looking for. When you are looking for flower seeds, you want to be shown companies that sell flower seeds, not a bunch of flakey casinos or dating sites. Becaue the search engines are trying hard to deliver the searched for content, they work very hard to defeat the tricksters and keep changing the rules to stay ahead of cheaters. People who spend big money on ad words will often temporarily rise to the top, but usually just very briefly. Don't worry about them. Just focus on having the content that you promise, and you'll stick around near the top. Have FUN! DearWebby Tony went to the doctor and told him that his hearing had deteriorated so bad that he couldn't even hear himself fart. The doctor gave Tony some pills. Tony asked him, "Will these make me hear better?" Doc replied, "No, but they will make you fart louder."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Dumplings Best Answer: By Cindy [7 Posts, 160 Comments] I don't make mine in the oven, but here's how I do it. Boil a big pot of water. While the water is heating, crack 6 eggs in a bowl. Add a little salt and a little water and whisk them together. Add about 3 cups of flour or more until the batter clings to a spoon. Using the spoon, drop spoonfulls of batter into the boiling water. After you've dropped them all, stir it and let it boil (you may have to turn down the heat so it doesn't boil over). When they are all floating, they are done. It only takes a few minutes. Then drain and add butter, salt or whatever you want. Hope this helps.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From SexySassySatin: There is a word in the English language in which the first 2 letters signify a male, the first 3 letter signigy a female, the first 4 signify a great male and the whole word signifies a great female. What is that word? -------------- Break me but I'll continue to work Touch me and maybe I'll stay with you forever. What am I?
funny games Jampa Monlam
____________________________________________________ A couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," she said. "Murder quite often, but never divorce." ____________________________________________________ You probably know that MADD is the group that calls itself Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Now There is also DAM Mothers Against Dylsexia ____________________________________________________
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
____________________________________________________
Today on November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The nudity on
the paintings have been painted over in the 1970's.

1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was
first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was
first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal
by an earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami. 

1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the
American colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on
the same day that the Parliament passed the Declaratory
Acts which asserted that the British government had free
and total legislative power of the colonies. 

1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president
to live in the White House when he moved in. 

1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical
School later merged with Boston University School of
Medicine. 

1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal,
was published in New York City, NY. 

1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief
of the American Union armies. 

1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The
money orders provided a safe way for payments by mail. 

1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via
telegraph. 

1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application
for a high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 

1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first
time. It later became known as "Billboard." 

1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 

1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the
first class. 

1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis
in Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 

1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in
which he described the alliance between Italy and Nazi
Germany as an "axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 

1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the
first movie for Abbott and Costello. 

1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter
plane hit an airliner. 

1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate
U.S. President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when
they tried to force their way into Blair House in
Washington, DC. 

1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 

1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 

1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the
first goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 

1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change
its orbit. 

1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-
13 and NC-17 went into effect. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks
against the U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian
militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took 63
Americans hostage. 

1981 The U.S. Postal Service raised the first-class letter
rate to 20 cents. 

1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a
Mexican anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug
traffickers. 

1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's
Central Committee. 

1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when
East Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 

1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end
of a cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 

1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took
effect. 

1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 

1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 

1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced
that between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-
square mile area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in
northern Nicaragua by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch.


1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global
satellite phone and paging system.

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 309 )
She can't forward 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, October 31
Happy Halloween!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pothead or potbutt? Dope dealer in road rage incident 
hid pot in his butt, dope and gun in car.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 31, in 
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany and wars throughout Europe.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health. If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death. --- J.P. Donleavy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all." The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Tech Support: "OK, Jose, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Programs." Jose: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Jose." Jose: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P', on your keyboard, Jose." Jose: "I'm not going to do that!" Tech Support: "Jose, I'm going to have to put you on hold for a bit. One of the other techs here needs to have an emergency hernia transplant." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Pink and blue at Shell Beach, California from Lillemor ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nabil Subhai Hasan, 23, Derrick Alan Innocent, 23, Lakeland, Floriduh Pothead or potbutt? Dope dealer in road rage incident hid pot in his butt, dope and gun in car. The FHP arrested a driver and his passenger in a road rage incident for throwing bottles at another vehicle on I-4. Late Wednesday night, dispatchers received a call from a driver who reported people inside another vehicle were throwing objects at her while both traveling westbound on I-4 in Polk County. The incident began in Lakeland near mile marker 33 and continued for another 11 miles to Plant City. The female driver told dispatchers she heard a gun shot after glass bottles were thrown at her car. Officers with Lakeland Police conducted a traffic stop of the suspect vehicle at mile marker 22 on I-4. According to the arrest affidavit, officers found a bag of Ecstasy shoved under the driver's seat and a loaded semi- automatic gun under the cushion of the rear right seat. Police also found a bag of marijuana hidden inside the driver's butt. Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Jason Guaba arrived on scene and spoke to the alleged victims. He then interviewed the driver and two passengers inside the suspect vehicle. There was also an infant in the vehicle at the time of the incident. After concluding his investigation Trooper Guaba arrested the driver, 23-year-old Nabil Subhai Hasan, and one of his passengers, 23-year-old Derrick Alan Innocent. Both men were taken to Orient Road Jail for booking. Both Hasan and Innocent are facing four felonies charges: two counts of Throwing a Deadly Missile into an Occupied Vehicle, Felon in Possession of a Weapon, and Possession of Cocaine with Intent to Sell. They were also arrested for Misdemeanor Possession of Marijuana. There was no mention in the report about charges for endangering the infant. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Dixie H Re: Can't Forward Dear Webby, CAN'T FORWARD YOUR PROGRAM TO MY FRIENDS CAN THIS BE CORRECTED?? Dixie H. Dear Dixie I have no idea which of the many email programs you use. Check in the "Help" of your email program to see how an email is forwarded with the email program that you use. Usually you just find the icon for forwarding, hit that, type in the recipient address, and hit SEND. Have FUN! DearWebby Here is a classic that came back to me from Rick. A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed a man sitting opposite her was smiling. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about20) what he had to say for himself. The man replied," Well, you're Honor, it was like this. When the woman got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I smiled. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling' and I had to grin. Then she moved under a sign that said, ' William's Big Stick did the trick' and I could hardly contain myself. BUT you're Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'… I just lost it." Case dismissed.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Fashioned Coconut Cream Pie By Abigail A. [21 Posts, 1,334 Comments] This is my go-to custard pie recipe. I love coconut! If you prefer meringue to whipped topping, you can make it with the leftover egg whites. Prep Time: About 20 minutes Cook Time: About 25 minutes Total Time: 45 to 55 minutes Yield: One pie Ingredients: 1 1/2 cup milk 1/3 cup sugar 1/4 tsp salt 2 Tbsp cornstarch 3 egg yolks 1 Tbsp coconut oil or butter 1/2 cup shredded, unsweetened (dry) coconut 1/2 tsp coconut flavoring 1 uncooked bottom pie crust (You can use the refrigerated, rolled pie crust) Steps: Scald milk in top of double boiler. Meanwhile combine sugar, cornstarch, salt and egg yolks in a bowl. Pour the scalded milk into the mixed ingredients, and pour the mixture back into the double boiler. Stir and cook until thickened. Remove from heat and add the coconut oil, shredded coconut and flavoring. Pour into pastry lined pie pan and crimp edges. Bake in 450 degree F oven for 10 minutes, then immediately turn down to 325 degrees F. Bake for an additional 10 to 20 minutes more or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let cool and cover with whipped topping.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!" Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?" "Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!"
New York Handpan
____________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e ____________________________________________________ During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!" With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me." "Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you." ____________________________________________________
The art of......paper art.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany and wars throughout Europe.


1864 Nevada became the 36th state to join the U.S. 

1868 Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved a
standard uniform for postal carriers. 

1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 

1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 

1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been
damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the
stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini
had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and
their ability to withstand hard blows. 

1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain
prevented Germany from invading Britain. 

1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of
work. At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George
Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham
Lincoln were finished. 

1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered
World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 

1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 

1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a
revolt against French rule. 

1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not
marry Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend. 

1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land
an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first
person to set foot on the South Pole. 

1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth,
TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the
time he was in Moscow, Russia. 

1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was
removed from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display. 

1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all
U.S. bombing of North Vietnam. 

1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-
Mart Stores, Inc. 

1981 Antiqua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.


1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 

1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated
near her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son,
Rajiv, was sworn in as prime minister. 

1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72,
plunged into a northern Indiana farm. 

1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life
in prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in
the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released
after her sentence was reduced to manslaughter. 

1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with
U.N. arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the
country's weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's
invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 

1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket,
MA, killing all 217 people aboard. 

1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran
Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of
Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal
dispute over the nature of faith and salvation. 

2001 Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a
tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the
software company. 

2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 

2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final
shipment of VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last
major United States supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 

2016  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 3 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 308 )

<<First <Back | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | Next> Last>>