Controlling two or more computers from one keyboard
Tuesday, November 15, 2016, 11:40 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesnday, November 15
Thank you, Moe!!!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
UL-Lafayette student who made up story of being
beaten, robbed of wallet and hijab facing charges
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 15, in
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy
exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.
--- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007)
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you
first thought of.
--- Burt Bacharach (1928 - )
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Sometimes you are not in control of your right foot !!
Prove for yourself, whether you are in control of your
right foot.
It's worth a try...
While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles
with your right foot.
While doing this, draw the number "6666" in the air with
your right hand.
Your foot will change direction..... to counter clockwise
______________________________________________________
Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were
required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well
known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice. My group's
model was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case.
The class broke into groups to practice. As instructed, one
of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked "Are you all
right?
"
He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for
breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and
exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Libtard Muslim Student,
18,
Lafayette,
Louisiana
UL-Lafayette student who made up story of being beaten,
robbed of wallet and hijab facing charge
Lafayette Police said the student is now facing a charge of
filing a false report.
Lafayette Police Department spokesman Karl Ratcliff confirmed
the charge, WWL-TV reported.
No explanation was given for why the police would not
immediately release the woman's name.
There also was no further information regarding the case,
Ratcliff said, including why she admitted to fabricating the
story of the attack.
A University of Louisiana at Lafayette student admitted
Thursday to making up a story about being attacked by two
men, one reportedly wearing a "Trump" hat, who yelled ethnic
slurs at her and then stole her wallet and hijab head
covering, according to Lafayette Police.
The woman, identified only as an 18-year-old of Middle
Eastern descent, had initially told police the attack
happened about 11 a.m. Wednesday on Smith Street near campus
— a story quickly picked up by the national news outlets,
sparking a social media firestorm.
Lafayette Police spokesman Officer Karl Ratcliff said the
woman admitted to fabricating the story after police began to
question her about key details.
"There were a lot of things that didn't make sense," he said,
commenting that it was unusual that no one else witnessed an
attack during a school day so close to campus.
Ratcliff said the woman offered no explanation for lying.
"That's only one that she can answer," he said.
Ratcliff said the woman might now face charges herself
related to filing a false police report.
"We don't take this lightly, and it's made national headlines
now," he said. "...There will be consequences."
The woman's claim of being attacked was reported online
Thursday morning by all major Democrat paid news organization
in Louisiana and all Dumbocrat news outlets, including The
New York Times, The Huffington Post and ABC News.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Neil
Re: Control two computers from one keyboard
Dear Webby,
KVM software
I have used this software in the past with win xp and win 7
http://
www.stardock.com/products/multiplicity/
The program networks over your local internet connection. It
is not the only program to do this but it is the easiest to
install. Install the program on the slave (2nd computer)
first, then on the main computer. You not only share the
controls but can copy from one computer's clip board and
paste on the other's, drag and drop files and will set up
audio and videos to stream either way. The free version
controls only two computers, the paid version controls up to
nine. Cost is $19.95 USD, and the license will transfer if
you replace one of the computers. Everything in the interface
is point and click so even non technical people can use it.
This link has a short video to see what it is all about
Multiplicity
Neil
Thanks Neil!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Here is an old Bonehead Award that is too good to be
forgotten:
The award goes to the head of women's studies at
Bowling Green State University in Ohio, Dr. Kathleen Dixon
When Richard Zeller, a professor of sociology, retired after
being barred from teaching a course on political
correctness, Dr. Dixon explained the school's position:
''We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.''
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making Rubber Gloves Last Longer
By Litter Gitter [190 Posts, 622 Comments]
Instead of keeping my rubber gloves in the kitchen drawer, I
hang them on the stove, using magnets. That is where they
stay until I use them again, which is two or three times a
day. Since I started doing this, I have noticed that my
rubber gloves last a lot longer.
 | how real men shoot skeet
|
____________________________________________________
The boss of a major manufacturing facility was complaining
in a staff meeting one day, that he wasn't getting any
respect.
Later that morning, he went to a local sign shop, bought
a small sign that read, "I am the Boss!" and taped it to his
office door.
Later that day, when he returned from lunch, he found
that someone had taped a note to the sign that read,
"Your wife called. She said she did not authorize that
sign."
____________________________________________________
At the construction site of a new church, the contractor
stopped to chat with one of his workmen.
"Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that
you had a brother who was a bishop?"
"That I did, sir."
"And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny old world.
Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?"
"No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slap-
ped the mortar along the line of bricks.
"My poor brother is such a klutz, he couldn't lay a brick
to save his life!"
____________________________________________________
 |
Reflections in puddles of rain.
|
One workman asks another, "How long have you been
working here?"
The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________
Today on November 15
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak.
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their
"March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War.
1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City.
1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown.
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid.
1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder
King Leopold II of Belgium.
1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland.
1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio
network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was
a four-hour "spectacular."
1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty
under peacetime conscription to prepare for WWII.
1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it
landed on Venus.
1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts
James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down
safely in the Atlantic Ocean.
1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters
staged a peaceful demonstration against the Vietnam War.
1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland.
1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American
Eugene Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering
arms to Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison
and was pardoned a month later.
1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on
Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider
stock trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the
SEC.
1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of
the PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent
Palestinian state at the close of a four-day conference in
Algiers.
1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year
career.
1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six
months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher
was serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding
Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo.
1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit.
1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed
a major trade agreement that involved China's membership in
the World Trade Organization (WTO).
2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the
Los Angeles police department were convicted on several
counts of conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer
was acquitted. The case was the first major case against the
anti-gang unit.
2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first
person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been
attacked by a dog earlier in the year.
2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold
for $15.6 million.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | 
( 3.1 / 520 )
Two computers, one keyboard, one monitor
Monday, November 14, 2016, 11:02 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 14
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
2 Jersey Shore men took a taxi to rob house,
then stiffed driver
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 14, in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land
in Los Angeles.
--- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that
read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what
he wanted. "What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked
inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.
"Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken!
Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never
even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's
mouth!" he fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?"
"Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied.
______________________________________________________
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort
were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit.
Being an all male combat force, they decided to request
coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend.
The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that
arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their
most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then
said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of
the other kind ?"
______________________________________________________
From FB
Thanks to Jim for this picture:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Kenneth Burke, 46, and
Timothy Foote, 38,
Ocean Township,
New Jersey
2 Jersey Shore men took a taxi to rob house,
then stiffed driver
Deal police said they arrested two men who took a taxi to
burglarize a house in town and then refused to pay the driver
when they drove back to an apartment in Asbury Park with the
stolen goods.
Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, of Ocean Township,
called for a taxi to a home on Norwood Avenue in Deal on
Friday night, said Deal police Sgt. Brian Egan.
Egan said they instructed the taxi driver to wait outside
before they returned a short time later with a television set
and some liquor bottles. He said the driver then took them to
an apartment in Asbury Park, where they got out without
paying the fare.
The driver called Asbury Park police reporting the beat fare
and the suspicious activity of the customers, Egan said.
After being alerted by Asbury Park police at 10:31 p.m., Deal
officers checked the house and determined it had just been
burglarized, he said.
Burke and Foote were charged with burglary, conspiracy to
commit burglary, criminal trespass and theft. They were being
held in the Monmouth County jail in Freehold on $20,000 bail
each.
The stolen items were returned to the homeowner, Sgt. Egan
said.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ron
Re: Second Audio for two computers
Dear Webby,
Is there a way to connect two computers to one keyboard
and one monitor and one stereo? I want to use an old clunker
to bring in digital audio and play it on the big stereo that
I have connected to the main machine. The only time the
klunker needs a keyboard and monitor is for getting the
streaming digital audio started or the station changed.
There must be a way to do that without wasting money and
space on a second monitor and keyboard!
Any help would be appreciated.
Ron
Dear Ron
All you need is a KVMA switch (keyboard, Video, Mouse, Audio)
Dalco has them currently for $30
http://dalco.com
Try IOGEAR GCS72U 2-Port KVM Switch with Audio
There is a bit of a problem, though. The audio might stop on
the klunker if you click the focus to the new machine. That
is not a problem of the switch, but of Windows on the old
machine.
You might have to use the klunker just for downloading and
saving the music, the new machine networked to it and playing
the music from the old machine's harddrive. If you have the
machines networked, that is no problem at all.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every
hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere,"
he pleaded with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care
where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant --
an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be
glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores
so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in
the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it."
The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-
eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.
"Never better." The manager was impressed.
"No problem with the other guy snoring?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the
room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss
on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat
up all night watching me."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Not-So Spanish Omelet
By Benetta [254 Posts, 144 Comments]
This is an adjusted version of the Spanish omelet. It makes
for a hearty meal, so it works well for a brunch when served
with toast.
Total Time: 45 minutes in total
Yield: 2 servings
Ingredients:
3 eggs, beaten
cheese flavored smoked frankfurter
medium sized potato
½ teaspoon dried sweet basil
¼ teaspoon grinded black pepper
¼ teaspoon Knorr Aromat Seasoning or ordinary salt
grated cheddar cheese to taste
cooking spray
Steps:
Boil the potato until tender. Drain the potato and allow to
cool for 5 minutes. Peel and cut into thin slices.
Boil the frankfurter for 5-6 minutes and drain. Allow to cool
for 5 minutes and cut into thin slices.
Mix the beaten eggs, basil, pepper and salt. Add the sliced
potato and sliced frankfurter to the egg mixture.
Spray a 6" frying pan with cooking spray. Add the mixture to
the pan and over a medium heat, cook until golden brown on
the one side.
Use a spatula to flip it over. Sprinkle grated cheese on top
of the omelet. Cook until the cheese has melted and the other
side is golden brown, too.
Slide onto a plate. Cut into slices and serve warm with
toast.
|
| Pizzalympics in
Springfield, Missouri
|
____________________________________________________
Thanks to Dave for this one:
Ontario Rules of the Road
Regulations in the Ministry of Transportation of Ontario
2016 Handbook for drivers
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident
Ontario driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you, because
the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you
in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the lower the
chance of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign.
No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-
ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with Quebec plates. With no insurance,
the other operator has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to
ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot
massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of
you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg
muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
It's a good way to prevent other drivers from exiting or
entering the freeway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a
suggestion and are not enforceable in Ontario during rush
hour, especially on the 401.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room
to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Ontario
driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think
he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an
accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen
as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Ontario is
the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the
Department of Public Works, which puts deep pot-holes
(like inverted ski moguls) in key locations to test drivers'
reflexes and keep them alert.
12. It is tradition in Ontario to honk your horn at cars in
front of you that do not move three milliseconds before
the light turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover,
it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield
right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede
your hi-velocity escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every Ontario driver is
to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
15. In Ontario, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite
salute. This gesture should always be returned.
16. In Ontario the mandatory and required cell-phone
is held up to your ear with the left hand to ensure that
you do not inadvertently activate the turn signals and
startle other drivers.
17. Razors, coffee or donuts are to be carried in the
right hand, except when driving in Little Italy. The proper
posture, for blending in, in Little Italy, is to talk with
both hands while facing a real or imaginary rear seat
passenger.
18. If you see a whole bunch of yellow or white stripes
painted on the road, parallel to the road, they indicate
that that locaton is a spot favored by suiciders. It is
important to speed up as you approach them to help
prevent more suicides from occurring there.
19) If there is a traffic jam due to an accident,
immediately work your way over to the rescue lane and
proceed to the scene of the accident at top speed.
20) If a driver is observed throwing nervous glances into
his or her mirror or behind them, they must be flanked
tightly and escorted to the far left lane so that they
won't have their nervous breakdown on an exit and
cause a traffic jam. Don't do this if the car is from
Quebec, because it's driver may be used to less
structured driving rules.
Thank You,
The Ministry of Transportation of Ontario
____________________________________________________
The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl
he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his
proposals a number of times.
He began what can only be called a "Campaigning" and
sent her a small token of his affection every day for a
month to her house.
The plan was successful too -- the young lady fell in love
with the mailman.
____________________________________________________
|
|
Reflections in puddles of rain.
|
Thanks to the folks from Erie for this one:
The children and grandchildren of an elderly Jewish woman
decided to send grandma on a cruise, so that she would not
be too helpful during the pre-planning stage of a wedding..
Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the
purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D."
She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.?
He said,"U.D. is Upper Deck."
She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to
the purser there and he said,
"I see that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C."
Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?"
The purser said, "O.C. is an Outside Cabin."
Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed
her ticket to the cabin boy and he said,
"Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B."
"B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma.
The cabin boy answered, "B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed."
"Oh," she said; Mine children and grandchildren are
vonderful."
The next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into
her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed and she
said, "F.U.C.K"
Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?",
to which she replied,
"Yes, F.U.C.K.
Foist U Could Knock."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________
Today on November 14
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people.
1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published
in the U.S.
1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination
of U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged
the following year.
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less
than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the
following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes.
1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began
domestic radio service.
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new
constitution was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned
for the Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4,
1946.
1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of
the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers
attacked.
1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight
was seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los
Angeles.
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising.
1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational.
1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy,
FL.
1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur
Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the
first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire.
1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000
(1,003.16) level for the first time.
1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike.
1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married.
1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the
United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking
of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran.
1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests.
1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime
Minister Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government.
1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-
down in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents.
1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to
publish Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho."
1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom
Sihanouk returned to his homeland.
1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex
for the first time under an accord that opened such sites to
outside inspections.
1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown,
closing national parks and museums while most government
offices operated with skeleton crews.
2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app
for smartphones.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 6 views )
| permalink | print article | 
( 2.8 / 555 )
Outlook mail program getting very slow
Sunday, November 13, 2016, 10:52 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 13
Tonight the full moon will be the closest and biggest one
since 1948. Take some pictures!
Click through for full size
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun
and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone,
where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 13, in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
In mathematics you don't understand things.
You just get used to them.
--- Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on
the college notice board at the beginning of each
semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8,
never used." The card was signed, "Must sell."
The next day a note had been added: "Good price.
Are you sure it's never been used?" Signed,
"Prospective buyer."
Below in a different hand was: "Positive!"
Signed,
"Professor who graded his exam."
______________________________________________________
Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After
arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two
holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water.
After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens
of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.
Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro asks, "What did you say?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro again asks, "What?"
Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the
worms warm!"
______________________________________________________
This time the picture should work!
That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr
Charlotte,
North Carolina
Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun
and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone,
where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns.
Michael Grace Jr, son of Temia Hairston and Michael Grace
Sr., was shot and killed during an attempted armed robbery
early Sunday morning.
Police said Grace Jr and two other people tried to rob a
Pizza Hut in the 3200 block of Freedom Drive. During the
incident, an employee fired his own handgun and killed Grace
Jr.
Hairston said she learned of her son’s death on social media,
and only got confirmation from police after contacting them
first. The grieving mother said she has been left with dozens
of questions about the situation that have thus far gone
unanswered.
“If there was to be a death, it was not the place of the
employee at Pizza Hut. That is the place of law enforcement,”
said Hairston.
Hairston and Grace Sr acknowledged that their son was
breaking the law by robbing the business, and said they
definitely don’t condone what he did.
“It was an act of desperation, but I do not believe that
Michael would have hurt anyone,” said Hairston.
They said Grace Jr had fallen on hard times and resorted to
crime to provide for his own child. They also said their son
used to work at the same Pizza Hut restaurant where the
robbery happened. They maintain he never would have
physically hurt anyone during the robbery.
WBTV contacted the local restaurant and the Pizza Hut
corporation public relations line. Neither have confirmed
that Grace Jr has ever worked as an employee at the Freedom
Drive Pizza Hut. CMPD officials have not confirmed the
information either.
The parents are angry that their son was shot and killed by
an employee. They don’t believe the full story has been
released to the public.
“Why in the hell did this guy have a gun?” questioned
Hairston about the employee who shot her son.
She said her son was shot in the head, and she thinks the
shooting may have even been personal, citing past conflicts
Grace Jr had had with other employees at the restaurant.
“This wasn’t a body shot. This was a head shot. My son was
shot in the left side of his head just behind his ear. A
headshot is personal,” said Hairston.
Even though their son was in the process of committing a
crime, the family thinks his death was undeserved and
unjustified.
“Even a criminal has a right to a degree,” said Grace Sr.
The family said they want Pizza Hut to release more
information about the situation and acknowledge that their
son used to be a Pizza Hut employee.
Pizza Hut previously released the following statement about
the incident:
"The local Pizza Hut franchisee is fully cooperating with the
Charlotte Police Department as they continue their
investigation, but want to stress that the security of its
staff is of utmost concern. They are providing support to the
team members involved to ensure their health and well-being
following this incident. The employee involved in the
shooting has been placed on a leave of absence following
further review."
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Don
Re: Slow Outlook
Dear Webby,
I see that, in this issue, you help a subscriber with a
computer problem. I would be eternally grateful if you
could find a solution to my problem.
Here goes:
Recently one of my family updated my computer.
Now, when I am using the Inbox for Microsoft Outlook there
is a long (4-5 seconds) pause in between the time I highlight
an entry and the time it is activated and appears on the
screen. Do you have any suggestions on how to speed
things up?
Thanks, Don
Dear Don
First, check the date/time on your machine. You are
living in the past. That causes mail from you to get sorted
in among yesterday's already taken care of mail,
and is found only by accident.
I don't allow Outlook within 20 feet of any computer here,
so I don't know that much about Outlook problems.
However, I would suggest that you clean out your INbox
and either transfer mails to different other mailboxes,
or dump them.
The leaner you keep the INbox, the faster ANY mail
program runs.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
R E S U M E B O O - B O O S
"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer
science, curses in accounting."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not
appropriate for business."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."
Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to
hear from you shorty!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Shampoo as Hand Soap Refill
By Monique [110 Posts, 181 Comments]
I have an alternative to replace pricey hand wash pumps. I
use value supermarket brands of shampoo instead! I buy the
cheap shampoos from the supermarket. Store branded hand wash
start at about £1 a bottle.
To begin with I was buying 500g Asda value shampoo for 30p
until I saw in Tesco that they have a litre bottle of value
shampoo for just 40p.
I refilled an old pump dispenser with the shampoo and added a
few drops of Tea Tree oil for its antibacterial qualities. A
shake and a stir and then it's good to go! I use this to wash
my hands so I have a pump by each sink in my home.
On one photograph you can see how much of the shampoo was
used to fill up the pump dispenser. My bottle (that was part
of a Xmas present) is a standard 300g. So my 40 pence shampoo
bottle will refill the bottle well over three times!
I also use the shampoo to hand-wash my special jumpers and on
occasion, to wash my smalls.
|
| And the Waltz Goes On (composed by Anthony Hopkins) directed by Andre Rieu
|
____________________________________________________
Thanks to Joann for this one:
During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was
told never to recommend one of our doctors over another,
but simply state who had available appointments. One day
a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially.
"I'm a nurse," she whispered, "and I know the staff
always knows which doctors are good and which aren't.
Who do you think I should see?"
Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to
sound most professional. "Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. "I
can't recommend any of our doctors."
"Well, you must know!" she said, heading for the door.
____________________________________________________
Girlfriend: Two of the best things I cook best are meatloaf
and apple pie.
Boyfriend: Oh? And which is this?
____________________________________________________
|
|
The story of a brave horse in the Marines during the Korean War.
|
Nancy was talking to her girlfriend....."My psychiatrist
told me yesterday that the way to achieve true inner
peace is to always finish what I start. I think I'm getting
the hang of it--
So far today I've finished a bag of cheetos, a six-pack
of beer, and the chocolate cake I baked for my
mother's birthday party tomorrow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________
Today on November 13
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal.
1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain,
except death and taxes."
1805 Johann George Lehner, a butcher in Wien (Vienna),
invented a recipe and called it the "frankfurter." The rest
of the world calls it a "Wiener"
1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing
access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the
Hudson River.
1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in
America took place.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18.
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for
racial segregation on public buses.
1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first
spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars.
1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in
Washington, DC.
1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli
Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York.
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that
the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to
Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free
hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations.
1991 Roger Clemens won his third Cy Young Award for the
American League.
1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union.
1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S.
citizens.
1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press
for the North American rights to her story about her affair
with U.S. President Bill Clinton.
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order
that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners
captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the
United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time
since World War II that a president had taken such action.
2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube
for $1.65 million in Google stock.
2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon.
The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of
the
Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS).
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 749 )
Internet acronym vocabulary
Saturday, November 12, 2016, 11:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 12
On Sunday night Nov. 13-14, the full moon will be the
closest and biggest one since 1948. Take some pictures!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man with golf club smashes an occupied car
with his golf club
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be
childish sometimes.
---Doctor Who
Don't wear your glasses on a blind date.
Your date willl look a lot better to you.
--- Socratex
Love is a form of temporary insanity
curable only by marriage.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Scotty for this report:
His neighbor took his wife to the doctor for a check up.
The doctor examined her and said she seemed depressed.
The doctor then asked about their sex life.
She answered...it wasn't to great.
The the doctor thought a moment, then told the man to
increase it to at least three times a week.
He then asked when?
The doctor suggested that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
ought to do it.
His neighbor then apparently paused a moment, and said,
"That's alright doctor. I can bring her on Monday and
Wednesday, but on Friday she'll have to take the bus
______________________________________________________
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans
and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'Come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct
airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan,
"Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct
credit card company with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom."
______________________________________________________
That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Adam L. Batie,
43,
3227 SE 122nd Terrace,
Gainesville,
Floriduh
Florida man with golf club smashes an occupied car
with his golf club
A Gainesville man mistakenly thought he was making a show of
force to a drug dealer when he clobbered another man's
windshield with a golf club, Alachua County deputies
reported.
The victim told deputies he was driving his red Jeep in the
3200 block of Southeast 122nd Terrace to drop a woman off, an
arrest report said. When he left, a Dodge Dakota pulled in
front of him, blocking his path, and the Dakota's driver
jumped out and smashed the Jeep's windshield with a golf
club.
In no uncertain terms, the golf club-wielding man told the
other driver to leave the neighborhood, and continued
whacking the Jeep's driver-side door, deputies said.
Adam L. Batie, 43, of 3227 SE 122nd Terrace, was charged with
criminal mischief and aggravated assault with a deadly
weapon, arrest records show. He was held at the Alachua
County Jail Thursday morning in lieu of $20,000 bond.
Batie told deputies he thought the Jeep's driver was trying
to sell drugs to someone at his home, the report said.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Myrna
Re: Internet vocabulary
Dear Webby,
is there a place where I can look up what all the weird
names and acronyms about Internet related stuff are
about, but not pages and pages of technical jargon that
will just get me even more confused? I want something
that has just a brief sentence or two about each name.
Thanks
Myrna
Dear Myrna
Try http://www.matisse.net/files/glossary.html
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A senior student in college reluctantly took a required
psychology course. The first day, the professor
commented on each student's major, trying to provoke a
response. It was working. Some students became
defensive. When it was the senior's turn, he told the
professor that he was a music major.
"So," asked my professor, "what does your father think
of you wasting your education to study music."
The clever senior shot back with, "He's just thankful
that I didn't go into psychology."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Meringue
By Abigail A. [22 Posts, 1,341 Comments]
Surprisingly meringue is easy to make. Even better, a baked
meringue travels well, unlike soft whipped topping. Meringue
often requires the whites of the eggs that were used in the
recipe, so there is no waste.
The pie shown called for three egg yolks, and I made the
meringue with the three whites.
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes
Yield: Enough for 1 pie
Ingredients:
3 egg whites
1/4 tsp salt
6 Tbsp powdered sugar
Steps:
Mix egg whites with salt, then turn up speed on mixer and and
beat until whites are stiff and glossy, adding sugar a
little
at a time. This should be done when pie is set and just needs
to be browned. Don't make it early or it will collapse.
Remove pie and turn up oven temperature to 400* F.
Cover entire top gently with meringue. Use a spatula to
"spike" the top giving it the traditional peaked appearance.
Put the pie back in the oven and brown. This will take just a
few minutes so watch very carefully! The meringue will brown
at the same time as the bottom of your pie. The picture
shows
how it looks when it is done.
|
| baby laughs at bubbles
|
____________________________________________________
I stopped at a friends house the other day and found him
stalking around with a flyswatter.
When I asked if he had gotten any flies, he answered, "Yeah,
3 males and 2 females."
Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference.
He answered, "3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone."
____________________________________________________
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns,
drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit
when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of
his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again;
even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a
third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
"This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty
officer thought.
A week later, when he received the violations in the mail, he
discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a
seat belt!
____________________________________________________
|
|
15 breathtaking views of the world.
|
One finds the most romantic people at home improvement
centers. A friend was helping a couple purchase a new door
for their home. After he asked what size they needed, the
stumped husband yelled clear across the store to his wife
in home supplies, "Honey, c'mon over here and see which
one of these doors you can fit through!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________
Today on November 12
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor
shower from a ship off the Florida Keys.
1840 Sculptor Auguste Rodin was born in Paris. His most
widely known works are "The Kiss" and "The Thinker."
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him.
1892 William "Pudge" Heffelfinger became the first
professional football player when he was paid a $500 bonus
for helping the Allegheny Athletic Association beat the
Pittsburgh Athletic Club.
1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the
first American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry.
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics.
1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start
of the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments.
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party
leading to Stalin coming to power.
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
It was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the
National Hockey League (NHL).
1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was
played.
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a
major victory.
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway.
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the
Exchange National Bank in Chicago, IL.
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier
Hideki Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to
death.
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking
out home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim of the U.S.
District Court in Philadelphia.
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York
Harbor, closed after processing more than 20 million
immigrants since 1892.
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37
MPH.
1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first
NFL head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons.
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports
from Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4.
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles
of Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth.
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid
I. Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist
Party's Central Committee.
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen
snared the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space
salvage.
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to
life in prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother,
John A. Walker Jr.
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy
statement that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse
to treat someone solely because that person had AIDS or was
HIV-positive.
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the
Chrysanthemum Throne.
1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director.
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to
dock with the Russian space station Mir.
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to
death in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company
employees.
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq
for constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors.
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center.
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG.
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after
take off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300
crashed into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260
people aboard were killed.
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther
Alliance at this point was reported to have control over most
of the northern areas of Afghanistan.
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment
Inc. that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions
of dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie
"Spider-Man." Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the
Incredible Hulk and Daredevil.
2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British
painter Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud
sold for $142.4 million at an auction in New York City.
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The
height was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the
fourth tallest building in the world at the time.
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement
with the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a
merger that would create the world's largest airline.
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that
Russian military equipment and Russian combat troops had been
seen entering Ukraine in columns over several days.
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet.
The comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 8 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 92 )
How do you catch Mis-spellings in spam?
Friday, November 11, 2016, 11:01 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh man named ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ crashed car,
stole veteran's wheelchair during police chase
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States and Remembranc e Day in Canada.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.
--- Willis Player
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't
even believe there's a Hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two
of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
______________________________________________________
Andy came to work one day, limping something awful.
One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy
what happened.
Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury
that acts up once in a while."
Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey."
Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on
the Stanley Cup Play-Offs. I kicked the TV and broke
my leg."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Shaquille O’Neal Clemons,
21,
Largo,
Floriduh
Largo man named ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ crashed car,
stole veteran's wheelchair during police chase
A Largo man, whose name is similar to that of a retired NBA
star, is accused of stealing a disabled veteran’s wheelchair
to get away from police after he crashed his car during a
chase.
Largo police say Shaquille O’Neal Clemons, age 21, tried to
flee from officers on Oct. 25.
Robert Druce, a veteran, witnessed the crash. He attempted to
help Clemons, not knowing that was who police were looking
for.
Druce offered Clemons his wheelchair.
“Saw the big wreck and then saw a guy helping a guy out of
the car. His leg was broken or something. He fell down in the
street, and I let him sit on my chair so he could drive up to
the front by the store, so he could sit down on the sidewalk
and not be laying in the street,” Druce said. “All of a
sudden, I’m chasing my chair down the street.”
Instead, Clemons tried to roll away to escape. “I couldn’t
catch him,” Druce said.
Officers say Clemons was driving a White Mercedes 250 near
the area of 36th Street and Melody Lane by East Bay Drive.
They tried to pull him over, but police say Clemons took off
eastbound on East Bay Drive and then sideswiped a white car
and a school bus. There were no kids on the bus.
Detectives say Clemons then drove southbound on Belcher Road,
where he crashed into two more vehicles at the intersection
at Ulmerton Road. “It was pretty crazy. I didn’t even hear it
really, until I was looking outside the window and seen
everything,” Nina Peralta said.
Peralta shot video of the crash on her phone. “I just
remember seeing trucks everywhere and cars and police
everywhere,” she said.
Police say Clemons got into the wheelchair and then headed
east on Ulmerton Road, trying to get away from officers.
Druce, who suffered a stroke a year ago, says he tried to go
after Clemons, but was too weak.
A Pinellas Park police officer was in the area and was able
to stop Clemons a few blocks away from the crash scene.
Druce was able to get his chair back. “No good deed goes
unpunished,” he said.
One person involved in the crash was critically injured.
Clemons was arrested on charges of driving with a suspended
or revoked license, reckless driving with property damage and
injury, and leaving the scene of a crash with property damage
and injury.
He has previously been arrested for fleeing and eluding,
possession of hydromorphone hydrochloride, possession of
marijuana, fleeing and eluding, and violation of probation
for aggravated battery.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Fran
Re: How do you catch Mis-spellings in spam
Dear Webby,
Yes, I too have seen all those mif-sbellinks in spam sneaking
past my filters. How do I sto that?
Fran
Dear Fran
In MailWasher you can use Regular Expressions.
A handy one is the "OR" symbol: |
You can for example tell it to look IN THE BODY (pull down
selection),
then in the second pull down select CONTAINS
and then in the content put Vigor|vigar|vogir|vugor
and so on. Every time one slips through, look what word they
use, and add it.
That of course is just one of almost a hundred operators you
can use. In the second line you can select the FROM line,
in the second selector pull down to BUT NOT IF
and put gramma's address into the content part, and a pipe |
and humor@webby.com as the second address.
So, if any of the naughty words exist in the body, but the
FROM address is NOT gramma's address, then it triggers the
filter.
You can selct what it does with that mail, for example delete
it automatically, without even bothering to show it in the
list.
Until you get comfortable with making filters you can tell it
to just flag it for deleting and give you the option to see
if your filter is maybe too radical.
After a while crafting good filters becomes a game.
With MailWasher YOU
will win every time.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he
had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what
he should do next.
His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and
on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the
next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date
to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening
was a complete disaster."
His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?"
And the young man said, "Oh, she came over,
but she can't cook either."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Find Hidden Places to Store Things
By Sandi/Poor But Proud [541 Posts, 2,300 Comments]
If you have a door you seldom close like I do or even if you
do close it, you can often find hidden storage places.
I did this today to keep all my crochet thread and ribbon. I
love shoe bags and this one is especially good as I can see
what is in each pouch. Some are plastic, but flimsy, and
others are sturdy, but made of solid fabric. This is the best
of both.
With these in here, I now have an empty tub to put in my
storage closet for other things, and I just garnered a 4
square foot space on my floor.
Recently, I moved everything home from storage to save
$500.00 over the next 12 months. It's been a challenge to
find spaces for things, but it's getting done. And if you
think I am kidding don't look in the top shelves of all my
kitchen cabinets, under my bathroom sink, or under the day
bed.
Seriously, don't.
N-JOY!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
President Trump was in the Oval Office wondering which
country to invade next, when his telephone rang." Hallo,
President Trump" a heavily accented voice said. This is
Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove,
Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are
officially declaring war on ey!"
Well Archie,"President Trump replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there
is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and
the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
President Trump paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have
one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again.
"President Trump, the war is still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", President Trump
asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's
farm tractor."
President Trump sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have
16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also
I've increased my army to one and a half million since we
last spoke."
Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, I'll be getting
back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President
Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves
airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a
couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
President Trump was silent for a minute then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers
and ! 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call
youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President
Trump! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call
off dis 'ere war."
I'm sorry to hear that" said President Trump. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and
had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize
dat dere's just no darn way we can feed two million
prisoners."
|
| Buster the Boxer
|
____________________________________________________
On a vacation in Texas Mike exhibited the exuberance of a
tourist. At a diner, he and his brothers ordered
cheeseburgers.
When his meal arrived, the first thing Mike noticed was its
size.
"Wow," he exclaimed, "everything really IS bigger in Texas!"
As he lifted the burger off the plate, his eyes met the cold
stare of the 300-pound waitress and the 2 gallon water
pitcher she carried.
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Today on November 11
1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws."
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising.
1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark.
1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held
by the New York Athletic Club.
1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged
at the Melbourne jail at age 25.
1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers.
1889 Washington became the 42nd state of the United States.
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States.
1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany.
1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and
H.O. Merriman.
1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at
Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding.
1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless
America" on network radio.
1940 The Jeep made its debut.
1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France.
1946 The New York Knickerbockers (now the Knicks) played
their first game at Madison Square Garden.
1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin
and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA.
1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence
from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe.
1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The
craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning.
1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the
South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military.
1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal.
1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours.
1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class
submarine.
1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at
age 84.
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial Fund.
1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age
5.
1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys,"
becoming the second largest computer company.
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record
53.9 million dollars in New York.
1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven
bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea
Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people,
convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison.
1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant
recipient, died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13.
1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after
World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were
still living in his country voluntarily.
1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests.
1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition.
1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served
in the Vietnam War.
1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers.
1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall
That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the
United States.
1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were
laying off 10,000 employees.
1997 Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third major
league player to win the Cy Young Award four times.
1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet
apart.
1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement
with the Palestinians.
2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to
fight AIDS in India.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 74 )
Thursday, November 10, 2016, 11:14 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 10
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment,
steals cash, cooks and eats pizza
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after
the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine
Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day
is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine
Corps.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous,
the sensible man hardly anything.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
There are people who,
instead of listening to what is being said to them,
are already listening to what they are going to say
themselves.
--- Albert Guinon
One out of every three Americans is suffering
from some form of mental illness. Think of
two of your best friends. If they are OK,
then it must be you."
--- George Carlin
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the
prosecution.
Juror: Not quite true, sir. I think prosecutors should be
incinerated at birth.
______________________________________________________
A young man took a city girl for a date at a fancy
restaurant out past the suburbs. While studying the menu
she asked, "What's filet mignon?"
Thinking fast, her date replied, "It's pickled goat's liver.
Why?"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Antionne David,
31,
St. Petersburg,
Floriduh
Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment,
steals cash, cooks and eats pizza
A St. Petersburg man is behind bars after he reportedly broke
into a St. Pete apartment, stole cash and cooked and ate a
pizza while inside.
According to the affidavit, St. Pete police say Antionne
David, 31, allegedly broke into a locked apartment at 450 5th
Avenue North sometime between October 17th and October 18th.
Police say David forced entry into the residence and once
inside he took $35 cash, along with food. He reportedly
cooked himself a pizza inside of the victim's microwave and
ate it. Police found David's fingerprints on the pizza box
and in several locations throughout the apartment.
The victim and the suspect do not know each other personally.
David is being held at the Pinellas County jail on $10,000
bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Elmar
Re: Mis-spellings in spam
Dear Webby,
Why does spam nowadays have so many mis-spellings and
garbled words in it ?
Even the garbage language the kids use on their chats makes
more sense.
Elmar
Dear Elmar
The spammers know that we are using filters to get rid of
their crap, and they are trying to sneak around those
filters.
Nobody with the smarts of a mashed potato buys from one
of those spammers, but unfortunately there are enough
idiots out there to make it profitable enough for the
spammers to keep trying. Very few of the spam victims ever
get what they paid for, but that does not seem to stop
other bozos from believing spammers.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Nobody is perfect unless you are in love with them.
Nobody is totally imperfect,
unless you used to be in love with them.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage
I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I
get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on
staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home
in the sleet and snow.
I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use ½
of a popular laundry detergent and ½ of a non chlorine fabric
whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I
first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for
a while.
I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket,
stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and
dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled
containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink,
where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a
tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends
to leave a film on glassware).
The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can
dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to
measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for
large families, but for a small crew, it should work well.
Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents
of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling
my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these
containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner
seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A man walks into an insurance office and asks
for a job.
"We don't need anyone" they replied.
"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone
anytime anything."
"We have two prospects that no one has been
able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job."
He was gone about two hours and returned and
handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00
and another for $50,000.00.
"How in the world did you do that" they asked.
"I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can
sell anyone anywhere anytime."
"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him.
"What's that?" he asked.
"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the
company requires a urine sample. Take these
two bottles and go back and get urine samples."
He was gone about 8 hours and they were fixing
to close when in he walks in with two five gallon
buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets
down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces
two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and
says "Here is Mr.Brown's and this one is Mr.Smith's."
"That's good" they said, "but what's in those two
buckets?"
"Well, I passed by the school house and they were
having a state teachers convention, so I stopped
and sold them a group policy!"
|
| Photobombs
|
____________________________________________________
>From Friz
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress
warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife
asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the eggs
home.
____________________________________________________
|
|
Video Clips From The Coolest One
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 10
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after
the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine
Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day
is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine
Corps.
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling.
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?"
1879 Western Union and the National Bell Telephone Company
reached a settlement over various telephone patents.
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White
House.
1919 The American Legion held its first national convention,
in Minneapolis, MN.
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan.
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his
counterpart in Alameda, CA.
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA.
1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season
crowd in NFL history.
1969 "Sesame Street" made its debut on PBS.
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism.
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that
equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in
December of 1991.
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew
of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior.
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to
be executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer
was put to death the following January.
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped
in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the
cab fare.
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack
at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov.
1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was
opened to visitors.
1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon.
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would
be the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project
was cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993.
1990 Chandra Shekhar was sworn in as India's new prime
minister.
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of
marital sexual assault against his wife who sexually
mutilated him. Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of
malicious wounding of her husband.
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases.
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop
enforcing the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the
following week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to
lifting the ban.
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the
action would end trade sanctions.
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-
Wiwa along with several other anti-government activists.
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The
disaster left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead.
1996 Dan Marino (Miami Dolphins) became the first quarterback
in NFL history to pass for more than 50,000 yards. (Florida)
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It
was the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion.
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the
murder of two CIA employees in 1993.
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's
murder conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English
au pair to time served. She had served 279 days in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen.
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website
(www.thevirtualwall.org) was unveiled. The site allows
visitors to experience The Wall through the Internet.
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's
membership.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 8 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 433 )
Wednesday, November 9, 2016, 11:52 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 9
Thank you, Arlene!
Looks like my prediction, that the people would vote not for
or against a candidate, but against the media, just like in
the Gore / Bush fight, came true again. Déjà vu all over
again.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Minnesota Woman On Meth Steals Squad Car After Arrest;
120 mph High-Speed Chase Follows
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9, in
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always
proud of the fact.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things
that make you want to live to be a hundred.
--- Woody Allen (1935 - )
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest
joke in the world.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The Old Gas Station
The service station trade was slow.
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.
"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.
With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car --
Just like three gals before.
She missed the foot log -- jumped the stream,
The owner gave a shout,
As her pantyhose, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.
She tripped and fell -- got up,
and then in obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.
He'd wait until the gals got set,
And then the devilish guy
Would stop his whittling long enough
To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole?
We're painting under here."
______________________________________________________
An out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum
cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of
intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home
and practice his pitch on his wife.
The next morning, the manager asked the
beginner how he did.
"Well," the man said, "I did what you said, and after I
finished, I asked my wife if she would buy the vacuum
cleaner from me.
She said, 'Yes.'
Then I asked her, 'Why?' and she said,
'Because I love you'."
______________________________________________________
Wisconsin
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Jennifer Hillard
35,
Alexandria,
Minnesota
Minnesota Woman On Meth Steals Squad Car After Arrest;
120 mph High-Speed Chase Follows
A 35-year-old Alexandria woman is in jail after she allegedly
stole a squad car and led police on a high-speed chase Sunday
evening.
Alexandria police say officers and fire crews were dispatched
at 6:41 p.m. Sunday to a fire alarm with visible smoke at an
apartment on the 500 block of Broadway Street.
Upon arrival, officers saw a small fire burning on the living
room floor and quickly put out the fire using an
extinguisher. There initially didn’t appear to be anyone
inside the residence, but officers discovered the tenant,
identified as Jennifer Hillard, entered through the ceiling
tiles and was hiding inside the ceiling.
Police say Hillard then fell through the ceiling tiles and
into an adjoining laundry room. She was found with a
methamphetamine pipe and lighter in her possession. She was
then placed under arrest, handcuffed with her hands behind
her back, and placed in the back seat of a squad car.
As authorities continued to deal with the scene, Hillard
managed to free one of her hands from the handcuffs and
squeezed her way through the back sliding window that may
have not been secured, gaining access to the front section of
the squad car. She then drove off with the Alexandria squad
car.
A short time later, an officer with Osakis police intercepted
Hillard as she was entering Osakis and began to pursue.
Before and during the pursuit, Hillard reached speeds of over
120 mph.
The pursuit ended on Beltline Road near Sauk Centre when a
Minnesota State Trooper deployed stop sticks.
Hillard is in custody at the Dakota County Jail pending a
court appearance for charges of arson, theft of a motor
vehicle, fleeing a peace officer, driving while impaired,
possessing a controlled substance, reckless driving and
speeding.
Police say there were no injuries and damage to property,
with the exception of the Alexandria squad car.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Friz
Re: Tripod substitute
Dear Webby,
I forgot my tripod at home, but I have to as usual make all
the pictures at the family gathering. What's a quick and
cheap fix? I absolutely need something to help me beacuse I
know I am too jittery to take candle light shots by hand
without the ugly flash. I do have a remote release.
Friz
Dear Friz
No Panic. Just get a sturdy zip-lock plastic bag, fill it two
thirds full with sugar or salt or flour. Place the camera
onto the bag. Wiggle it a bit so it sits well.
You can put that bag onto any piece of furniture, or even
onto a stepladder. The camera will be rock-solid and the
pictures even sharper than when you use your tripod.
If there is a drinker in the family, then the chances a re
good that you can locate one fo those pretty Crown Royal
bottle bags. That makes a really classy camera pedestal.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
In Northern Minnesota, the game warden stopped a man leaving
a lake with two buckets of fish. The game warden asked the
man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man said, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden queried.
"Yes, sir," the man explained. "Every night I take these
fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while.
Then I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and
I take 'em home."
The game warden glared at the man and said,
"That's impossible. Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment
and said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
The man poured the fish into the lake and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden
looked at the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man asked.
"When are you going to call them back?"
the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH!"
And the man said, "What fish?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage
I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I
get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on
staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home
in the sleet and snow.
I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use ½
of a popular laundry detergent and ½ of a non chlorine fabric
whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I
first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for
a while.
I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket,
stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and
dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled
containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink,
where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a
tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends
to leave a film on glassware).
The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can
dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to
measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for large
families, but for a small crew, it should work well.
Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents
of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling
my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these
containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner
seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Have you ever noticed that good jokes always come back to
you ? This one came back via Kristine:
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception
room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which
bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall
boy with the same name had been in my high school class
some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I
quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face
was too old to have been my classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had
attended the local high school.
"Yes," he replied.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1957."
"Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely and then asked,
"What did you teach?"
|
| Glacier on the move!
|
____________________________________________________
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are
asking for:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are
52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off
per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work,
you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which
counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days
available.
With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another
46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.
This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work.
We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available
working time is down to 15 days.
We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which
leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned
if you are going to take that day off!
____________________________________________________
While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor
announced that their prison quartet would be singing the
following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the
vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them.
The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the
church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced
them.
"This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and
always looking for the key."
____________________________________________________
|
|
My favorite time of the year.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 9
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA.
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see
the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip
by a U.S. president.
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs.
1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate.
He then fled to the Netherlands.
1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German
troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The
event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took control
of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders at
gunpoint.
1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other
labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial
Organization.
1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became
known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass."
1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph.
1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated
its "caucasians only" rule.
1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion.
1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash.
1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states
and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours.
1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight.
1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa.
1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called
upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay."
Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4.
1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week
Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman
were also involved in the operation.
1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion
loan to India. It was the highest loan to date.
1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard
came out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming
a boxing commentator for NBC.
1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial in Washington, DC.
1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London,
appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt,
and asked British businesses to invest.
1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest
antitrust settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage
firm was ordered to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had
sued over price-rigging of Nasdaq stocks.
1998 PBS aired its documentary special "Chihuly Over Venice."
2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened
Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to
pedestrians.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 413 )
Tuesday, November 8, 2016, 07:31 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuessay, November 8
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida teen charged with murder of his grandmother
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 8, in
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring
the Louisiana Purchase territory.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow
why the things he predicted yesterday
didn't happen today.
--- Laurence J. Peter
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major
problems just with potatoes.
--- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.
--- Lester J. Pourciau
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Boudreaux found Thibodeaux walking down the levee,
looking really down in the dumps. Naturally, he asked
Thibodeaux what the problem was.
Thibodeaux told Boudreaux, "Well, me and Clothile
done had our first fist fight last night."
Boudreaux says, "Aw, dat's too bad. What y'all had a
fight about?"
Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, I told her a joke about
de Pope."
Boudreaux says, "Mais, Thib, why did you do that?
You knows dat Clothile is Catholic."
Thibodeaux replies, "Yah, I knew dat, but I didn't
know de Pope was too."
______________________________________________________
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he
successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the
purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Answer:
He is blind, not mute. He can talk and simply ask.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Dylan Broughmanm,
Jacksonville,
Floriduh
Florida teen charged with murder of his grandmother
The scene that greeted police officers Oct. 10 when they
arrived at a domestic disturbance call in East Arlington’s
Cobblestone neighborhood was one of mayhem, according to the
Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office report.
Joyce Ann Courson, 69, was sitting in a puddle of blood in
the hallway, her right eye split open as fist- and foot-sized
holes filled nearby walls in the home on Ashridge Drive, the
report said.
It all started with her hiding her grandson’s beer, she was
able to tell police.
Courson’s 18-year-old grandson has been charged with murder
after she succumbed to her injuries a week after being
slugged repeatedly, according to police. Dylan Nicholas
Broughman had initially been charged with aggravated battery,
but the murder charge was added Thursday after the Medical
Examiner’s Office ruled the death a homicide.
Tracey Lynn Broughman, his mother, was briefly in tears
Thursday morning after learning of the new charge as she
stood in a home that bears the scars of the attack. Calling
her mother “my best friend” who took care of them, she looked
at holes kicked or punched in three walls near the kitchen
and said she felt overwhelmed.
“I am sick for the loss of my mother. I am sick for the loss
of my son. I don’t feel he deserves to go to prison. I don’t
feel in my heart that he meant to do this to the severity
that he did,” Broughman said.
The initial incident occurred just before 8 a.m. Oct. 10,
according to the arrest report. Broughman was in the shower
when Courson confiscated his beer. Her grandson became
enraged when he couldn’t find his beer and began yelling,
“It’s all your fault, everything is your fault!” she told
police.
From her hospital bed, Courson told them her grandson caved
in chunks of the walls in her house and shoved her to the
floor as he followed her into a hallway, the report said.
That’s when he held her down and punched her in the face with
his fist over and over again, then started kicking her.
Dillon Ross, a 22-year-old roommate, said he had just gone to
bed after his night job when he heard the argument, then some
banging. He said the grandmother and grandson sometimes
argued in the mornings, so he stayed out of it at first.
“She took the beer and he just flipped out and I guess she
wouldn’t tell him where she put it, so he started punching
holes in the wall, then destroying the house pretty much and
then blaming her,” Ross said. “I didn’t think anything of it
until I heard this ridiculous crash. That’s when it was like
this turned into something crazy. After the crash, I heard
the grandmother screaming for help.”
Ross said he ran into the foyer and found Courson on the
floor, and the 18-year-old was gone.
Officers searching the area found Broughman walking nearby on
Kernan Boulevard and took him into custody.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Dorothy
Re: phoney VISA alert
Dear Webby,
You might want to advise of the latest VISA scam in email.
Thanks!
Dorothy
Will do.
There is some scam-spam going around from some 2-bit
crook claiming that your credit card has been used by another
person, and that they would help you to get a refund.
Actually, they just want to steal your VISA information.
If you get that scam-spam, don't click on anything in that
email and just delete it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Thanks to Ardy for this one:
NEWS FLASH!
- Dubuque, Iowa -
<><><>
Iowa's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater
Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two local Iowa college students,
crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Dubuque.
<>
Dubuque search and rescue workers have recovered 300
bodies so far, most of them dead, and expect the number to
climb as digging continues into the evening.
<>
The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the
recovery efforts.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Sausage and Cabbage Stir-Fry
By Sandy [135 Posts]
Ingredients:
1 cup noodles uncooked
3/4 lb Polish sausage sliced
8 cups cabbage coarsely chopped
1 small onion
1 apple grated
1/2 tsp. caraway seed
1 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. cider vinegar
1/2 tsp. salt
Directions:
Cook noodles, drain and set aside. Cook sausage until brown.
Remove from skillet. Add to the skillet the cabbage, onion,
apple, caraway seed cooking until the cabbage is tender,
about 7-10 minutes. Add brown sugar, vinegar and salt. Cover
and cook over low heat for 5 minutes. Add sausage and noodles
cooking until everything is hot.
Source: friend
By Sandy from Graettinger, IA
Smoked farmer sausage works fine too, more taste, less fat.
I save time by cubing an apple or two, half of a sugar cube
size. Makes interesting tasty tidbits.
Without the noodles, it makes a great veggie side dish.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled and bald and forgetful, they don't recognize you.
|
| bird bounces golf ball on
concrete
|
____________________________________________________
A woman goes to the police station to report that her
husband was missing.
"Can you give me a description of him?" asked the
officer.
"He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears
dentures," answered the woman. "Come to think of it,
most of him was missing before he was...."
____________________________________________________
Catholic school test.
Kids were asked questions about the Bible. Their answers
apparently have not been retouched or corrected.
1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired
of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's
wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which
the animals come on it in pears.
3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day,
but a ball of fire by night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led
astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the
Apostles.
7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they
made unleavened bread which is bread without any
ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get
the ten amendments.
9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam
to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not
admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua
told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived
in Biblical times.
14. Solomon, one of David's sons, slept with 300 wives
and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus,
she sang the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived,
they found Jesus with the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate
contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to
do one to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead
and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the
12 debacles.
22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was
also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached
holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
____________________________________________________
|
|
Drunk birds in Austria.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 8
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for
the first time.
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring
the Louisiana Purchase territory.
1889 Montana became the 41st U.S. state.
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the
first X-ray pictures.
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator.
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as
the "Beer-Hall Putsch."
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The
organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4
million unemployed people in the U.S.
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria.
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa.
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle
took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a
North Korean MiG-15.
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son.
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California.
1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary,
but it evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980.
1979 U.S. Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Mac Mathias (R-MD)
introduced legislation to provide a site on the National Mall
for the building of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in
California announced that they had discovered a 15th moon
orbiting the planet Saturn.
1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was
"an African State" that was "neither East nor West".
1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was
delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco,
David Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to
negotiate a release.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000
soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq.
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic
sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan
civil war.
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence.
1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen
from the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works
were valued at $52 million.
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way
for the Three Gorges Dam.
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the
winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election.
2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final
report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993
siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 8 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 419 )
Monday, November 7, 2016, 07:35 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 7
Thank you, Norm!!!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh Highway Patrol stop reveals warrant for
cocaine dealing charges
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in
the American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts
Bay Colony for heresy.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means,
get to the garage.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
When I found this recipe, I thought it would be
perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to
tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not
dried out. Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
salt/pepper to taste
small plastic bag and duck tape
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with
melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with
stuffing. Put the popcorn into a small heavy duty
plastic bag and seal it thoroughly with duck tape.
Tape up the chest opening of the chicken with duck tape.
Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the front
of the oven.
Listen for popping sounds. When the chicken blows the
oven door open and the chicken flies across the room,
it is done.
And, you thought I couldn't cook !
______________________________________________________
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a
pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a
new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten
yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his
face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the
cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up
the package and pointed to a little old lady standing
nearby.
"Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.
______________________________________________________
From widelec.org
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Erne Jean Delva,
32,
Princeton,
Floriduh
Floriduh Highway Patrol stop reveals warrant for
cocaine dealing charges
A traffic stop resulting in a minor pot bust snowballed for a
Princeton man and landed him in county jail on felony cocaine
dealing charges after the Florida Highway Patrol trooper who
pulled him over discovered two outstanding bench warrants for
the man’s arrest.
The FHP trooper pulled over Erne Jean Delva, 32, in his
“dark-colored sedan” driving southbound on U.S. 1 at mile
marker 92, according to the trooper’s Nov. 2 incident report.
The trooper wrote that he pulled the car over because it “hit
the outside line” of the highway several times.
When the trooper walked up to the driver’s side window, he
“smelled a strong odor of burnt marijuana coming from within
the vehicle.”
When asked by the trooper if there was pot in the car, Delva
replied that the car wasn’t his and he didn’t know what was
in it.
“During the search of the vehicle, I found a clear bag
containing a green leafy substance inside a tobacco
resealable pouch in the center console,” the trooper wrote.
“Mr. Delva was placed under arrest for possession of
marijuana.”
The trooper conducted a computer search of Delva’s records,
which revealed he had a bench warrant for sale of cocaine
within 1,000 feet of a school and use of a two-way device to
facilitate a felony.
In addition to the cocaine charges, Delva was also booked on
misdemeanor marijuana possession. He’s being held on a total
bond of $106,000.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Mia
Re: Yahoo Lists
Dear Webby,
I am subscribed to a few lists on Yahoo, and lately one
after the other seemed to have been taken over by some
hacker that sent out a message about a proxy-relay trojan
and a password to use for getting information about
getting back on.
The mails had the usual Yahoo Groups sponsor ads on
top, something I doubt that a hacker would leave in place,
but the grammar in the message was definitely low class,
which would point to a hacker.
Below the weird message, there were the usual dozen ads
abd links that normally are on those newsletters.
Naturally I did not click on anything. I am worried though.
Since these lists are in no way connected to each other,
except that they are all ad suported freebie lists on Yahoo,
does that mean Yahoo has been hacked ?
How does that affect my Yahoo mail? If they can hack
into the lists, can they get to my mail?
Mia
Yes, if a bunch of different lists were affected, then that
would indeed indicate hacker activity.
Yahoo mail may be a bit more reliable than hotmail, but
it is not really something that anybody should consider as
secure. It's mainly a toy for people, who want to disguise
themselves.
Just becasue Hillary and Huma used it, that does not mean it
is secure. That is why their mails are all over the Internet.
Your only defense there is toONLY use Yahoo mail for those
lists, and never link to your proper email or anything, that
might benefit a hacker.
Just get an email address based on your ISP, or a Gmail
address for your proper email.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year
and every year Morris would say,
"Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride
costs 50 dollars, and ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said,
"Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I
might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 dollars,
and ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a
deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay
quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't
charge you; but if you say one word it's 50 dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all
kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word
was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a
word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,
"By golly,I did everything I could think of to get you to
yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when
Esther fell out, but ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making Monster Doughnuts
By lalala... [782 Posts, 103 Comments]
7 found this helpful
If you are looking for a quick and inexpensive treat, give
these monster doughnuts a try! They are perfect for a
Halloween party or as a classroom treat!
Ingredients:
glazed ring doughnuts
plastic vampire teeth
chocolate chips
Steps:
Squeeze the plastic teeth shut and insert them into the
center of the doughnuts.
Push chocolate chips into the doughnuts for eyes.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Just A Question
How come when you mix water and flour together,
you get glue...
and then you add eggs and sugar... and you get cake?
Where did the glue go?
NEED AN ANSWER?
You know darned well where it went!
The glue is what makes the cake...
stick to your hips!
|
| bird bounces golf ball on
concrete
|
____________________________________________________
A man who suffered from impotence went to see a doctor.
The doctor gave him a revolutionary new injection made
from monkey glands, which worked perfectly.
Nine months and two weeks later, his wife had a baby.
When the nurse came out of the delivery room with the
news, he asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"We won't know until your kid comes down off the
chandelier."
____________________________________________________
From Rikka:
Dear Webby
Please if you can send me or post again that oldie but goody
Hawaiian good luck sign story?
Many thanks
Rikka
Dear Rikka,
it's a bit long, but here it is:
The Letter from Gramma:
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and
saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling
particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer
meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just
lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I
didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing
someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd
never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started
honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and
screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and
started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I
even
honked my own horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because
I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle
finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson in
the back seat what that meant. He said that it was probably a
Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the
window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson
burst out laughing...why, even he was enjoying this religious
experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the
joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and
started
walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,
but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved
to all my sisters and brothers, grinning of course, and drove
on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the
intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind
of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had
shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window
and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time
as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
Grandma
____________________________________________________
|
|
Drunk birds in Austria.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 7
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in
the American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts
Bay Colony for heresy.
1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by
William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or
(Tippecanoe).
1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying
to protect his printing shop from a third destruction.
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly.
1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by
Albert H. Hook.
1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to
vote.
1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first
transcontinental railway in the mountains of British
Columbia.
1916 Jeanette Rankin of Montana became the first woman
elected to the U.S. Congress.
1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The
provisional government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown
by forces led by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin.
1918 During World War I, a false report through the United
Press announced that an armistice had been signed.
1932 "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" was broadcast for the
first on CBS Radio.
1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
Washington state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension
bridge had opened to traffic on July 1, 1940.
1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first
person to win a fourth term as president.
1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television
commercials.
1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland,
OH, becoming the first black mayor of a major city.
1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that
college students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would
lose their draft deferments.
1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of
the War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to
wage war without congressional approval.
1983 A bomb exploded in the U.S. Capitol. No one was injured.
1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of
Justice. The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including
11 Supreme Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by
leftist guerrillas belonging to the April 19 Movement.
1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He
had been president since the country's independence in 1956.
1988 Sugar Ray Leonard knocked out Donnie LaLonde.
1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia,
becoming the first elected African-American state governor in
U.S. history.
1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's
first African-American mayor.
1989 Richard Ramirez, convicted of California's "Night
Stalker" killings, was sentenced to death.
1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested
positive for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was
retiring from basketball.
1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on
the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution.
1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no
contest to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been
arrested in Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater.
1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men
admitted to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl.
1999 Tiger Woods became the first golfer since Ben Hogan in
1953 to win four straight tournaments.
2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first
president's wife to win public office. The state of New York
elected her to the U.S. Senate. (New York)
2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched.
2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying
commercially.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 3 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 402 )
Sunday, November 6, 2016, 08:27 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 6
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Naked man arrested after driving with wires attached
to genitals
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
“If Trump is elected, it makes me sad, but I have no choice,”
commented Miley Cyrus to the Rolling Stones magazine this
week.
“I could never live under a president like him, it would be
like living under the Soviet dictatorship of Hitler.”
--- Miley Cyrus
Canada has always welcomed all big tax payers.
Even a silly screecher, who does not know the difference
between the Communist Soviets and Hitler's Hillarian
National Socialism, is quite welcome.
It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had
not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be
great.
--- Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939)
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
--- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Bea for this one:
For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on
the woman with whom I car pooled to get our children to
soccer practice.
I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again,
so I wouldn't be able to take my turn.
A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son,
my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to
call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband
to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also
explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything
about his father's whereabouts.
Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our
house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner
arrived.
When my son returned from practice, I asked him if
she had noticed.
"Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men
in front of the house was my father. But don't worry.
I told her I didn't know."
______________________________________________________
Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a
shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her
of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the
woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the
first month of using this method. The downside to this
was that her husband spent so much time going into the
fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining
fifteen pounds!
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Kurt Jenkins,
56,
BOYNTON BEACH,
Floriduh
Naked man arrested after driving with wires attached
to genitals
A South Florida man was caught naked driving slowly through a
neighborhood with electrical wires protruding from his penis,
police said.
News outlets report Kurt Jenkins, 56, was charged with lewd
and lascivious exhibition, exposure of sexual organs and
resisting a law enforcement officer without violence.
According to Boynton Beach police, a witness said on Monday
that the naked man, identified as Jenkins, drove by him,
gesturing for him to look toward Jenkins' groin area.
That's when the witness saw an electronic device with wires
attached to Jenkins' penis.
The witness said Jenkins asked him to get inside, but he
declined and called police.
Arriving officers said Jenkins refused to comply their
commands. Jenkins was taken to the ground and handcuffed,
police said.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Lorne
Re: Dye Printers
Dear Webby,
I heard that dye printers print better colors than inkjet.
How much do those cost?
Lorne
If you have to ask how much they cost, then a dye
sublimation printer is not the printer for you.
The individual dots produced are better, but the prints are
fuzzy, compared to a laser printer. The prints look about the
same as old style chemical process photos. Laser and even
inkjet printers produce sharper images.
Dye printers are usually just special purpose printers for ID
badges, drivers licenses, textile, and so on.
They are made to print specific media in a specific size,
like drivers licenses. You can get them in sizes to print
heat transfer pages for t-shirts or cups. Some even print
directly onto plastic cups.
The dye ribbons are very expensive compared to laser toner.
Unless you have a very specific need like ID cards or T-
shirts, you are better off getting a decent laser printer.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women
in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining.
The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible.
It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone,"the guide said.
"Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will
be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted.
"We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we
can´t kiss the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss
someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same
good fortune."
"And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.
"No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Crescent Pizza Rolls
By tiffanytallent1981 [15 Posts, 11 Comments]
I think it is safe to bet that almost everyone loves pizza!
And if you are looking for a great tasting variation, these
rolls are the perfect choice. They make fabulous appetizers
for events, parties, and reunions. I actually prepare one
package and split them between dinner one night, and lunch
the next day. They are just as good reheated in the
microwave, so nothing has to be wasted if there are
leftovers.
Prep Time: 10
Cook Time: 10-12 minutes
Total Time: 20-25 minutes
Yield: 8
Source: Pinterest
Ingredients:
1 pkg. crescent rolls
24 pieces pepperoni
4 mozzarella string cheese sticks
Marinara, ranch, or other dipping sauce
1 sprinkle garlic powder
1/8 cup grated Parmesan cheese
cooking spray (for some pans)
Steps:
Cut string cheese sticks in half.
Lay out the crescent roll triangles. Add 3-4 slices of
pepperoni to each triangle, slightly overlapping. Place them
along the base of the triangle, going toward the middle.
Add a cheese stick half on top of each set of pepperoni.
Preheat oven to 350-375 degrees F. You will bake them at the
temperature given in the crescent roll directions. Every oven
is different and mine works better at 350 F. Use cooking
spray if you feel it is needed. I actually did not have any
with this current batch. The rolls still practically slid off
of my pan!
Fold the crescent corners around the pepperonis and cheese
sticks, leaving no holes. If you have any holes, the cheese
will melt out and burn on the pan.
Sprinkle garlic powder on top of the rolls.
Place in the oven for 5-8 minutes. The darker you want the
bottoms of the rolls, the longer you leave them in the oven.
Take them out and flip each roll over. Place back in the oven
for 4-6 minutes. The time depends on how dark you want them.
I try to leave mine for 6 minutes the first time and 3-4
minutes after they have been flipped.
Take them out of the oven and sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on
top.
Serve with your choice of dipping sauce.
Don't forget the Pizza Sauce!
I prefer smearing pizza sauce on first, then pepperoni or
salami or ham, a paper-thin slice of onion, a very light
sprinkle of garlic salt, Oregano and Cilantro (Italian
Parley), then a thin slice of Mozarella. Works OK rolled up
or left flat for a square pizza.
Whichever way you do it, don't forget the Pizza Sauce!
DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says,
"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."
"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think
your sex drive is all in your head?"
"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man.
"That's why I want it lowered about 2 feet!"
|
| Pentatonix - Hallelujah
|
____________________________________________________
A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman,
"Can I have a pint of Less, please?"
"I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly
puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a
spirit?"
"I've no idea," replies the guy,
"The thing is, I went to see my doctor today and he told
me that I should drink 'Less'."
----------
hmmm Might be profitable to print some bottle or can labels
for a beer called LESS and stick them onto the cheapest beer
you can buy, and sell your LESS beer at a decent mark-up.
A lot of people will buy it just as conversation pieces.
____________________________________________________
A minister decided to do something a little different one
Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going
to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever
hymn that comes to your mind.
The pastor shouted out "CROSS". Immediately the
congregation started singing in unison,
'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."
The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began
to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."
The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang
"THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."
The pastor said "SEX."
The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in
shock. They all nervously began to look around at each
other, afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, from way in the back of the church,
a little 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to
sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."
____________________________________________________
|
|
People are AWESOME! The best of the month of October, 2016.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 6
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America.
1832 Joseph Smith, III, was born. He was the first president
of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day
Saints. He was also the son of Joseph Smith, the founder of
Mormonism.
1851 Charles Henry Dow was born. He was the founder of Dow
Jones & Company.
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth
president of the United States.
1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S.
1869 The first official intercollegiate football game was
played in New Brunswick, NJ.
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap.
1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the
United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The
document granted rights to the United States to build and
indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its
defenses.
1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of
Indian miners in South Africa.
1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres.
1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric
shaver.
1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of FM
broadcasting.
1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll
in the Pacific Ocean.
1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well
ignited when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450
feet and 800 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when
a team led by Red Adair used explosives to deprived the fire
of oxygen. (Devil's Cigarette Lighter)
1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that
condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The
resolution also called for all member states to terminate
military and economic relations with South Africa.
1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow
250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971.
1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing
Jupiter.
1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a
mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march into
the nation of Western Sahara.
1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending
a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible
College in Georgia.
1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of thousands
leaflets over northern and central Grenada. The leaflets
urged residents to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army
or Cuban resisters to the U.S-led invasion.
1984 For the first time in 193 years, the New York Stock
Exchange remained open during a presidential election day.
1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19
Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota.
1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced
in Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to
being the head of a family spy ring.
1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the
release of seven American hostages.
1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the
U.S. announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian
assets that had been held since 1979.
1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire.
1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil
fires ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War.
1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal.
1996 Michael Jordan scored 50 points for the 29th time in his
NBA career.
1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb
killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians.
1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop
Britain's queen as their head of state.
2001 In London, the "Lest We Forget" exhibit opened at the
National Memorial Arboretum. Fred Seiker was the creator of
the 24 watercolors. Seiker was a prisoner of war that had
been forced to build the Burma Railroad, the "railway of
death," for the Japanese during World War II.
2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people.
The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists.
2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 11 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 159 )
How to get animated GIFs to move
Saturday, November 5, 2016, 10:38 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 5
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
BLM Pennsylvania mother kills 17-month-old son and texts
video of boy's body to his father with laughing emoji
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English
Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th
in Britain to celebrate his attempt to blow up all the
members of Parliament and King James I.
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement
at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority.
The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.
--- Ralph W. Sockman
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A reporter from Chicago was visiting an old colleague, who
now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town.
"I don't see how you do it," the reporter said.
"How can you drum up interest in the news when
everybody in town knows what everybody else
is doing?"
"Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper
to see who got caught at it."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Kati for this one:
The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did
his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep.
He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before
him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard
duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another
moment and looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"
______________________________________________________
Yesterday's peacock picture was from Noella
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Christian Clark
21,
McKeesport
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania mother kills 17-month-old son and texts video
of boy's body to his father with laughing emoji
A Pennsylvania woman killed her 17-month-old son and texted a
video of the boy's body to his father along with a "laughing"
emoji, cops say.
Christian Clark was arguing with the boy's dad Tuesday when
she sent him texts including, "Ya kids ain't safe here I
don't want them here" and "I'm killing them" — followed by
the emoji.
Clark, 21, sent a video of a girl and then a boy face down on
a bed, according to the Post-Gazette.
"Ahh, look, Angel is still alive and sweating your son on the
other hand is not even breathing," the mother said in the
video, according to an affidavit obtained by the newspaper.
"I wish I could keep the camera still."
"Send it to the cops post it to fb idc anymore you ruined my
life," her boyfriend Andrew Price Jr. replied, according to
the Post-Gazette.
The little boy was found unresponsive in the McKeesport home
and died later that night, the newspaper reported. The little
girl seen in the video is alive.
Clark admitted smothering the little boy, and she was taken
into custody on charges including criminal homicide.
Authorities recovered many disturbing messages from her
boyfriend's cellphone.
"I don't want these kids here," one of her texts read,
according to the newspaper. "Ya kids aint safe here i don't
want them here ... Answer me or im going to jail for child
endangerment."
Later she wrote, "I really snapped this time."
"Try to wake him up I said hold him," Price said, according
to the paper.
"Its okay im dialing 911," she responded.
"You need to if he dead," Mr. Price wrote.
Ms. Clark was being held in the Allegheny County Jail on
Wednesday night without the possibility of posting bail. A
preliminary hearing is scheduled for Nov. 16.
BLM Black Lies & Murder
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Fiona
Re: Animated Gif's not animated
Dear Webby,
Whenever I save an animated picture from the net and then
look at it with my paint program it just sits there and does
not move. What am I doing wrong?
Fiona
Dear Fiona
Your paint program shows you ONE picture of the many that
make up the animation.
Just use your browser to show it. If your animation is for
example on the C: drive in the PIX directory, and is called
anim123.gif, then type into the browser address bar:
C:\pix\anim123.gif
and it will instantly show in full motion.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A Newfie came out West and some friends took him along for
curling. As luck would have it, he won an Ice auger for ice
fishing. A lot of beer later, when they got kicked out of the
curling club, the Newfie wants to go ice fishing right then
and there.
It's about as foggy outside as it is in his head, after all
those beers, but his keen eyes spot some ice not far away.
Proudly carrying his nice, shiny, red auger, he stumbles
in that direction and decides that he'll give it a go.
He carefully takes the safety cover off the point.
You may think thasch easchy, but if you hol yourschelf
upright with the schilly Ische auger, every time you pull the
plaschtik thingamagig off the bottom point, you fffall down!
Musch easier if you doing while lying down.
Finally he starts drilling.
Suddenly, a loud voice booms out at him,
"There's no fish in here."
The Newfie looks all around him in the fog, but can't see
anyone. He decides to ignore the voice and carries on
drilling.
Again, the voice booms out, "I've told you, there's no fish
in here!"
He looks up again but there's still no sign of anyone so he
returns to his task.
"Stop it!" shouts the now very angry sounding voice,
"You'd better pack up your stuff and get out of here or
there'll be trouble."
"Who are you" shouts the drunk guy, "you don't scare me!"
There was a big, thundering roar and the the loud voice
again:
"I'm the manager of this hockey rink, and I'm starting up
the Zamboni!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Pet Urine Stains from Hardwood Floors
By Margaret P. [1 Comment]
I too have tried so many tricks including vinegar water
mixture to remove the dog urine stains and odor from the
hardwood floor of our 30 year old home. Finally it was my
husband who bought me a Hoover FloorMate Cleaner 64oz from
the nearby shop here in Canada. It really worked well. You
too may try once.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat
down in the den with her favourite magazine, turned on
the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and
propped her feet and announced that he was
preparing dinner all by himself.
"How romantic!" she thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for
dinner to be served.
She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.
Her harried husband, removing something indescribable
from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway.
"Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long --
I had to refill the pepper shaker."
"Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"
"More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through
those dumb little holes."
|
| bison fight at Yellowstone campgrounds
|
____________________________________________________
An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a
boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast
on her leg, he warned her not to climb any stairs.
Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.
"Yes, sure" he replied.
"Thank goodness!" she said.
"I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe
with that stupid cast on my good leg!"
____________________________________________________
Pat and Mike were once very good friends. One day when
they were still on speaking terms, Pat went over to Mike's
house to visit, but when he got there, Mike was out.
Mike's wife was holding the ferociously fighting baby who
had different plans, and trying to put up curtains at the
same time.
"Pat," she said, "I'm glad you came. Would you mind
holding the baby while I finish the curtains?"
A few minutes later, Pat came in and said to Mike,
"How ya doin, Mike?"
Said Mike, "I'm holding my own".
That's when the battle started.
____________________________________________________
|
|
Bird parents taking care of their bird babies.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 5
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English
Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th
in Britain to celebrate his attempt to blow up all the
members of Parliament and King James I.
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden.
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for
attempting to vote in the presidential election. She never
paid the fine.
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later.
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli.
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
Company.
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented
third term in office.
1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt.
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29.
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally
reopened.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during
the Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days
later.
1959 The American Football League was formed.
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement
at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland.
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the
world's tallest free-standing structure for nine years.
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran.
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving
24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced
to life for treason against the white minority government of
South Africa.
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child
(Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. (for more
information)
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was
shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His
assassin, Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the
murder and was sentenced to life in prison for his part in
the World Trade Center bombing.
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were
later convicted in his death and sentenced to prison.
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease.
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round
of their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV.
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed
up to 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town.
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by
delegates from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany.
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both
arrested and charged with battery and domestic violence in a
hotel in Miami Beach, FL.
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power".
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer
Airbus and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint
venture specializing in airline services.
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed
13 people and wounded 30 others. He was sentenced to death in
2013, but has not been executed yet.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 12 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 462 )
Friday, November 4, 2016, 09:47 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Half-naked mother-of-three, 37, is arrested for chasing
cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 4, in
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered
the anethestic qualities of chloroform.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most
difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.
Well, you know how she is."
"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told
me that she was a vile creature who would make my life
miserable and you begged me not to marry her."
"You were perfectly right.
"You want to speak with her? All right."
He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in
the next room:
"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Chris for this one:
There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist
who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of
other patients. I know you all have experienced this,
and here's the way one old guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's
office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist
said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You
shouldn't come into a crowded office and say
things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told
you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused
some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something and then discussed the
problem further with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and
then reentered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked,
"Yes?"
There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled,
knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The doctor's office erupted in roaring laughter.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Candice Kreidel,
37,
Cunningham,
Tennessee
Half-naked mother-of-three, 37, is arrested for chasing
cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup
Who Is Candice A. Kreidel?
Candice A. Kreidel is a 37 year old woman from Montgomery
County, Tennessee.
On October 27, 2016, Candice A. Kreidel was arrested by
Montgomery County Tennessee police. Kreidel was partially
nude while wearing clown makeup, and she was chasing and
jumping on cars in the town of Cunningham.
The arrest warrant noted “a series of calls about a white
female wearing clown-like makeup, a stocking cap, and was
either partially or completely nude that was running up and
down Louise Road, chasing cars and jumping out in front of
other cars.”
Kreidel was intoxicated and locked up due to being a danger
to herself and others.
She was also charged with making numerous non-emergency calls
to 911.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Sue
Re: Calculator
Dear Webby,
I need a cheap calculator. What do you recommend?
Sue
Dear Sue
Click on START
type calc
Hit Enter
It is just a very basic calculator, but it is built in.
PowerCalc from XP does not work in W7 or W8 or W10.
You can run it in Google, though. Just google for powercalc
It is a bit klutzy and you can't scroll back and edit,
but it can do more than the built in calc.
Personally I use a spreadsheet, Quattro or Excel or Calc in
Open Office or office Libre.
There you can scroll back, edit, type comments, have
different layers, for example for different months,
and call numbers like totals from those months onto a cover
sheet. When you edit any sheet, the totals on the cover sheet
automatically update.
Sounds intimidating? It's not. You'll kick yourself for not
having started playing with spreadsheets a long time ago.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man
downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the
bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.
The bartender picked up the five-dollar bill, folded it care-
fully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment
he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at
him.
Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see
that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini,
gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cinnamon to Deter Ants
By Jess [163 Posts, 843 Comments]
I tried this in my kitchen recently because the sugar ants
were starting to show up on my countertops. I scattered
cinnamon behind my sink, which is where they seem to get into
the house. I haven't seen an ant in days! I even left a box
of donuts on the counter and they have been left entirely
alone. Seems much safer than using ant poison or boric acid
in my kitchen.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A group of women were talking together. One woman
said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40
on a Sunday."
Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation
is down to six or seven."
A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's
so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister
says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
|
| dog barks at cat on stairs
|
____________________________________________________
Thanks to Ardy for this classic:
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macys and
shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk?
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around," said the sales lady, as she showed a sea
of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really
only four of bras to choose from."
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The sales lady replied "There are Catholic, the Salvation
Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one
would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences
between them.
The Sales lady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright,
and The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
____________________________________________________
(Q) What' s the difference between a southern zoo and a
northern zoo?
(A) A northern zoo has latin names and stuff nobody reads
on the cages.
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front
of the cage along with a recipe.
____________________________________________________
|
|
Making people laugh from the grave.
My Dad's headstone says on one side:
Pardon Me For Not Standing Up
And on the other side:
Remember friend as you pass by
As you are now so once was I
As I am now so soon you'll be
Prepare yourself to follow me
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 4
1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin
Palmer.
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the
anethestic qualities of chloroform.
1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register.
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost
tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen.
1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality
stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy
allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents.
1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air-
conditioned car was put on display.
1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El
Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for the
British.
1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the
uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956.
1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and
took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants,
mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah
back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later
released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months.
1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle
Columbia was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the
countdown.
1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years.
1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was
returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had
been kidnapped by the CIA.
1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East
Berlin in a pro-democracy rally.
1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight
a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait.
1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi
Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President
Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford
and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S.
chief executives.
1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was
assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending
a peace rally.
1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against
the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The
sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to
turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with
masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in
Kenya and Tanzania.
2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had
its world premiere in London.
2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and
thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture of
sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received
the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40
years.
2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 12 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3.1 / 730 )
BleachBit versus CrapCleaner
Thursday, November 3, 2016, 12:06 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 3
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh homeless man returns to the bank he robbed
after getting a drink
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of
Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the
Mona Lisa.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
--- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
Teenagers should move out earlier,
while they still know it all.
--- Socratex
"I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod
on top shows a lack of confidence."
--- Doug MacLeod
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The following ad is reported to have gotten numerous calls...
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE...
Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a good
looking female who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the
woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and
fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub
me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front
door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature
gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for
Daisy."
Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society
about an eight-week-old black Lab.
______________________________________________________
Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith
went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise
early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his
wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six."
An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following
morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his
bedside table:
"It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Stephen Daniel Stump,
36,
Key West,
Floriduh
Homeless man returns to the bank he robbed
after getting a drink
An unarmed homeless man robbed a Key West bank Tuesday only
to return when he heard the police sirens and immediately
surrender, a city spokeswoman said.
Stephen Daniel Stump, 36, was arrested on felony charges of
robbery and falsely reporting an explosive device after
police said he walked into the Centennial Bank branch at 701
Whitehead St. at about 12:30 p.m. demanding money and lying
that he had a bomb in his backpack.
Stump left with an undisclosed amount of cash and headed over
to a Duval Street restaurant, Mangoes, and ordered a drink
from the bar.
“He paid with a $50 bill from the robbery, telling the
bartender to keep the change,” said city spokeswoman Alyson
Crean. “When he heard sirens, he apparently returned to the
bank and was apprehended. All of the money was recovered.”
Stump, whose ID card gave his home address as Key West’s
homeless shelter, was arrested without incident and the bank
building and his backpack were deemed safe by the Monroe
County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad.
Crean said she cannot legally release how much money was
stolen. She said while police were interviewing witnesses,
one bank employee looked out a window and spotted Stump
standing right outside.
Stump walked up, put down his backpack and waited to be
arrested, Crean said.
The robbery shut down part of Whitehead Street for about a
half-hour Tuesday while police worked the scene.
He will be getting free room and board all winter at the
jail.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Dave
Re: BleachBit versus CrapCleaner
Dear Webby,
Hope all is well with you and yours. In the news we hear
about BleachBit how
does it compare to CrapCleaner?
Dave
Dear Dave
CrapCleaner has been around for a long time and has been
steadily improved all along. It is still free, just supported
by voluntary donations.
BleachBit got a lot of publicity because Hillary Clinton
ordered her IT staff to clean her servers and her machines
and those of Abedin, her assistant, with BleachBit, after
they got almost a week's notice, that the FBI wanted to look
at them.
Like CrapCleaner and all utilities since X-Tree and Norton
Commander in good old DOS, BleachBit too has a shredder
included.
Most techies prefer CrapCleaner because it has more
professional tools included, but the shredder is very basic
and included in all utilities.
I don't remember if Hillary's server was Windows or Linux.
On Linux servers you have "wipe", "srm" the Secure Remove,
"shred", and a few other ones.
If you have CrapCleaner, stick with it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing
lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a
bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Morris,
gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me
$10,000. In all honesty I cannot unfairly accept two bribes."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He
handed it to Morris saying, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000,
and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Gluing Glass to Glass
Best Answer By Cindy [1 Post, 32 Comments]
E6000 will work. It's great for glass. I sell tons of it in
my craft shop. You should be able to find it locally.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
This guy went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist.
The doctor showed the man an inkblot and asked,
"What does this remind you of?"
The guy replied, "A naked woman."
Then the shrink showed the man another inkblot and
asked the guy the same question.
The guy responded, "A naked woman on a bed."
This went on and on, inkblot after inkblot.
The psychiatrist finally said to the guy, "You are
a sick pervert."
The guy replied, "I'm not the pervert here. You're
the one who keeps showing me all of those naughty
pictures."
---------------------------
You gotta be nuts to go see a psychiatrist!
|
| dog barks at cat on stairs
|
____________________________________________________
Ole decided to buy Lena a new car for her birthday. They
shopped and shopped. Finally, Lena found one she liked.
But before signing the papers, Lena looked at the car one
more time.
Suddenly, she bristled and walked away, saying she didn't
want the car. She wouldn't even talk about it.
On the way home, Ole said, "Vell, Lena, I tot yew liked dat
car. Vat changed yer mind about it?
"Ole, I yust don't vant any car vit XL on it," Lena answered.
"It's bad enuff having dat on my undervear."
____________________________________________________
"Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably
make good busboy. Ask waitress for application."
____________________________________________________
|
|
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 3
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa.
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate
himself to the conversion of Native Americans to
Christianity.
1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder
of Texas.
1796 John Adams was elected the 2nd U.S. President.
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at
LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger.
1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at
New York's Madison Square Garden.
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia.
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis
Chevrolet and William C. Durant.
1934 The first race track in California opened under a new
pari-mutuel betting law.
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the
Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S.
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in
a supermarket in Chester, NY.
1953 The Rules Committee of organized baseball restored the
sacrifice fly. The rule had not been used since 1939.
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the
first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March
29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet
Mercury.
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to
death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded.
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first
broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the
release of seven American hostages. The story turned into the
Iran-Contra affair.
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms
to Iran.
1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their
first-ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain.
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her
two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the
children had been abducted by a black carjacker.
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103.
1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to
prepare for to battle "the U.S. monster."
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor.
2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces.
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution
was unveiled.
2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was
the first Disney film completely created with computer
animation.
2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 10 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 693 )
Wednesday, November 2, 2016, 10:15 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 2
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman mails contraband to jail, blames inmate
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 1, in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia,
changed his title to emperor.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you
enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable,
and although problems and catastrophes may
be inevitable,
solutions are not.
--- Isaac Asimov
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
--- Garry Shandling (1949 - )
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
An elderly lady just ahead of me at a recent art show was
looking at a painting with an ugly mish-mash of colors and
turned to me and asked, "What's that?"
I said, "According to the program flier, it's supposed to
be a cowboy on his horse."
"Supposed to be!", she sneered. "And whoever signed it,
is 'supposed to be' a painter?"
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 
______________________________________________________
Three guys met in a bar and spent the afternoon drinking and
telling stories.
Finally, as evening approached, they realized that it was
time to go. So they signaled the bartender and told him they
wanted to pay their tab. The bartender left and returned,
saying the total bar bill was $3.00.
"Three dollars," they gasped, and one said, "Surely you must
be wrong, it has to be more than $3.00, we've been here all
afternoon. We must have had 10 beers apiece."
"That's right" said the bartender, "thirty beers at ten
cent's apiece, that's $3.00."
The men were amazed that the beer was so cheap, but the
bartender went on to explain, "You see," he said, "I won the
lottery and I wanted to open a bar where folks could come and
drink for a reasonable price and have fun. So I use my
lottery winnings to subsidize the cost, that's why drinks are
so cheap."
The men nodded, but one of them asked the bartender,
"Those two guys over there, they've been here for two hours
and they haven't had anything to drink, what's going on?"
"Oh those guys" the bartender replied, "they're from Florida.
They are waiting for happy hour."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to dad for this picture:
Another rare October bloomer bloomed Oct 31.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Jacklyn Suzanne Stacey
Birthdate: December 31, 1969
Height: 5'03"Weight: 120 lb
Crestview,
Floriduh
Woman mails contraband to jail, blames inmate
A woman accused of trying to get her jailed ex-boyfriend in
trouble mailed him six strips of a narcotic substance, lawmen
say.
A corrections officer detected the illegal drugs while
checking incoming mail. When he asked the inmate about them,
the man said that he only got mail from two people – his
mother and the mother of his child.
He added that the mother of his child, Jacklyn Suzanne
Stacey, a known and previously arrested meth-head, has been
trying to get him in trouble to get custody of their child.
Stacey’s age and address are not listed on her Okaloosa
County Sheriff’s Office arrest report. The reason given is
that she is a former law enforcement official or the spouse
or child of a law enforcement officer.
The info is on the web because of her prior arrests.
When deputies interviewed Stacey, she admitted attaching the
orange strips to the envelope and mailing them to the inmate.
She said he’d requested that she do it, according to her
arrest report.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From John
Re: VCR to DVD problems
Dear Webby,
Sorry for taking up so much of your time, but Im in a bind
again. There are three parts to my problem.
1.. A couple of years ago I purchased a DVD Video
recorder/Video cassette recorder. (TOSHIBA) model DVR630KCn
to convert my VHS tapes to disc / It took me a while to get
it figured out , . I am copying thirty min programs on each
disc, with up to 4 blocks on each disc ,This is fine , but
they wont play back on any other machine, eg.my computer,
with windows seven. I have fromated each disc before I start
and finalized it after, Any Suggestions .
2. My daughter is having the same problem, , only she is
using one of them converters that she plugs into an VCR and
into her hard drive.
3. where is the best place to buy DVD-RWS by the gross. with
no shirts. Thank for you help, Have fun
4 Am I using the proper discs???????
John B
Dear John
I asked Jerome from http://nacards.net, the real expert in
these matters:
His reply was
First a quick answer for John.
You can only use DVD-R’s for use of video.
You stated that you formatted each one which tells me you are
using DVD-RW’s
Your DVD recorder does a good job of recording.
To play on a newer DVD player that accepts avi, wav, or mp4
formats, you can directly copy those to the disk.
Jerome
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Thanks to Flo for this one:
Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband
was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.
I carefully removed his glasses.
"You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you
look like the same handsome young man I married."
"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you
still look pretty good too!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Earning Money Online
By Suntydt [75 Posts, 877 Comments]
14 found this helpful
I saw the "Auctions for Income" infomercial the other night.
It looked interesting, but I am always skeptical about
infomercials. I did a quick search via Google and the
majority of the sites that popped up on the first page of
results basically yelled "SCAM!" in just as many words.
As mentioned there is a way to make money via eBay, but you
need a product people want that everyone else isn't selling.
My advise to anyone interested in doing something like this
is to consider items that can be used on multiple sites.
For example, I go to yard sales, flea markets, Goodwill, and
pawn shops and buy DVDs. Usually the more I buy, the cheaper
I can get the product. I verify every disc is in like new
condition before I make my offer.
I list my items first on Amazon. Items that either don't have
a listing or are selling for pennies on Amazon, I try to list
on another site.
On this other site, you trade DVDs (you pay for shipping when
someone asks for one of your DVDs). As you mail DVDs you get
to request DVDs. About once a week I go through the recently
posted DVDs and see if any are going for big bucks on Amazon.
If they are I request them and when they show up I list them
on Amazon.
For the DVDs that I can't put on Amazon or aren't listable on
the trading site, I post them on eBay. If they sell, great.
If they don't, I can always have my own yard sale when the
summer comes back around.
It takes a bit of organization and attention to detail, but
it works.
For example, last month I was at a pawn shop in a town I only
get to on occasion. I stopped there as an after thought. They
were packed with DVDs. I bought 180 DVDs at .70 cents each -
roughly $125. In the first week I sold 10 and made $73, more
than half of what I paid.
You won't be a millionaire anytime soon, but it will keep you
busy and you make some money. The added benefit is if this is
something you enjoy - I love it :)
And just as another note for success: when I start listing
DVDs on Amazon, I double check their condition. I only post
DVDs in "Like New or Very Good" condition (usually I only
post "Very Good" DVDs when there are few of them for sale and
they appear hard to get). I also check the DVDs when I have
an order and pack them for shipment. Reputation I believe is
vey important to many people who shop online, and my profile
only brags about the quality of what I sell (selling more in
the long run). And when I slip the paper of the order in the
package I always include a note: I thank them for the order
and I ask them to go back to Amazon and leave feedback.
If this sounds like something you are interested in you can
do the same thing with paperback books and CDs. I am sure
there are other things as well, but I'm having fun with what
I am doing so I haven't looked for anything else
Second note to success: the lowest price I sell something
covers my costs and makes me a dollar. Costs include the
packing materials, postage, and the gas to get to and from
the post office. So these three things plus one dollar is my
minimum price for a product. That's just good business.
Have fun, meet people and make some money. Or as they say in
the races "Ready, Set, GO!"
By suntydt from Tazewell, TN
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
SexySassySatin's riddles:
The word is: heroine
What am I? heart
|
| ife calls exterminator for musicians
|
____________________________________________________
>From Noella:
Once I helped a friend with a garage sale. She lived across
the street from a church where they were having a wedding. I
put up a large sign - "Last-Minute Wedding Gifts Here!"
Many came to check it out!
____________________________________________________
A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one
of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the
examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down
the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem
was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in
another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded,
"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old,
she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and
you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on
his clipboard.
"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"
"Idiot!", the older doctor hissed at him, "Three
prescriptions and a couple of months of hiccups therapy would
have gone a lot further towards paying off your student loan,
and would have eventually cured her hickups too."
____________________________________________________
|
|
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 2
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor.
1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont,
became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he
deserted.
1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded.
1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an
electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat.
307,031).
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest
took place in America.
1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed
support for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine.
1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of
Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting.
1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined
with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form
the American Birth Control League.
1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia.
1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber.
It was named DuPrene.
1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden
airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's
first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because
of the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never
went into production.
1948 Harry S. Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey for the U.S.
presidency. The Chicago Tribune published an early edition
that had the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." The Truman
victory surprised many polls and newspapers. (Illinois>
1960 In London, the novel "Lady Chatterly's Lover," was found
not guilty of obscenity.
1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was
dismantling the missile sites in Cuba.
1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was
assassinated in a military coup.
1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply
for permanent residence in the U.S.
1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New
Jersey prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for
the 1973 murder of a New Jersey state trooper.
1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in
the U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning
death of her boyfriend.
1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions
on television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both
local and foreign journalists.
1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt
Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for
$30,800.
1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being
held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers.
1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of
taxicab service in Princeton, NJ.
1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for
good because of fear due to his HIV infection.
1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator
Bob Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe.
1993 Christie Todd Whitman was elected the first woman
governor of New Jersey.
1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering
up $1.1 billion in trading losses.
1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his first in-depth interview
since the White House sex scandal to Black Entertainment
Television talk show host and political commentator Tavis
Smiley on the network's "BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley."
2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The
film recorded the best debut ever for an animated film and
the 6th best of all time.
2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated
the church's first openly gay bishop.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 5 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 399 )
Search Engine Optimiser Scams
Tuesday, November 1, 2016, 11:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, Novembert 1
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Denver Cop Charged With Theft Thanks to Own Body Camera
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 1, in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The nudity on
the paintings have been painted over in the 1970's.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly
always meaningless.
--- Paul Johnson
"The herd instinct among forecasters makes
sheep look like independent thinkers."
--- Edgar R. Fiedler
Election promises are the opposite of forecasts.
--- DW
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
An elderly lady just ahead of me at a recent art show was
looking at a painting with an ugly mish-mash of colors and
turned to me and asked, "What's that?"
I said, "According to the program flier, it's supposed to
be a cowboy on his horse."
"Supposed to be!", she sneered. "And whoever signed it,
is 'supposed to be' a painter?"
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady
and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the
posters showing the glamorous destinations around the
world.
The agent had had a good week and the couple looking in
the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop: "I know that on your pension
you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending
you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't
take no for an answer".
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two
flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They,
as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were off!
About a month later the little old lady came in to his
shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked
eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she
said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me.
Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to dad for this picture:
This one bloomed today.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Julian Archuleta,
48,
Denver, Colorado
Denver Cop Charged With Theft Thanks to Own Body Camera
A Denver cop who claimed $1,200 "must have fallen into his
bag" at the scene of a car crash was arrested and suspended
without pay after footage from his own body camera told a
different story. The footage showed Julian Archuleta, a 48-
year-old who has been on the force since 2004, responding
to a report of shots being fired earlier this month,
reports the Denver Post. When the suspects rolled over
their car after a short chase, one fled the scene while the
other was unconscious in the vehicle. Archuleta's body
camera captured him removing money from the suspect's
clothing after it had been cut away by paramedics.
In the footage, Archuleta could be seen reshuffling the
money and removing a $100 bill from a stack of bills, 9News
reports. He was contacted by Internal Affairs after a
detective reviewed the footage and noticed that there had
been no $100 bills recovered from the scene. Archuleta told
them he would "check his war bag" and later claimed to
have
discovered 12 $100 bills that "must have fallen" in there.
He faces a felony charge of tampering with physical
evidence and misdemeanor charges of first-degree official
misconduct and theft. Police say that because of his
actions, the shooting investigation was blown and the
suspect was never charged.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Rosa
Re: Search engine Optimizing
Dear Webby,
My dad's consultant told me that all these Search Engine
Optimizers are just con artists who can't make a living
with their own web sites, so they are spamming and trying
to con money out of people who make money on the web.
However, some of those SEOs sound very convincing.
I notice that your Mypostcards.com has been at the top
of Google for many years and you don't buy ad words and
you don't even use meta tags.
What's the real scoop?
Rosa
Dear Rosa
Your dad's consultant is very wise.
You have to understand that the search engines are not in
business to please a bunch of tricksters, but to deliver
the
content that people are looking for. When you are looking
for flower seeds, you want to be shown companies that sell
flower seeds, not a bunch of flakey casinos or dating
sites.
Becaue the search engines are trying hard to deliver the
searched for content, they work very hard to defeat the
tricksters and keep changing the rules to stay ahead of
cheaters.
People who spend big money on ad words will often
temporarily rise to the top, but usually just very briefly.
Don't worry about them. Just focus on having the content
that you promise, and you'll stick around near the top.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tony went to the doctor and told him that his hearing had
deteriorated so bad that he couldn't even hear
himself fart.
The doctor gave Tony some pills.
Tony asked him, "Will these make me hear better?"
Doc replied, "No, but they will make you fart louder."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making Dumplings
Best Answer:
By Cindy [7 Posts, 160 Comments]
I don't make mine in the oven, but here's how I do it. Boil
a big pot of water. While the water is heating, crack 6
eggs in a bowl. Add a little salt and a little water and
whisk them together. Add about 3 cups of flour or more
until the batter clings to a spoon. Using the spoon, drop
spoonfulls of batter into the boiling water. After you've
dropped them all, stir it and let it boil (you may have to
turn down the heat so it doesn't boil over). When they are
all floating, they are done. It only takes a few minutes.
Then drain and add butter, salt or whatever you want. Hope
this helps.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
>From SexySassySatin:
There is a word in the English language in which the first
2 letters
signify a male, the first 3 letter signigy a female, the
first 4 signify a great male and the whole word signifies a
great female.
What is that word?
--------------
Break me but I'll continue to work
Touch me and maybe I'll stay with you forever.
What am I?
|
| funny games Jampa Monlam
|
____________________________________________________
A couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding
Anniversary. "In all that time, did you ever consider a
divorce?"
"Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that,"
she said. "Murder quite often, but never divorce."
____________________________________________________
You probably know that MADD is the group that calls itself
Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
Now There is also DAM
Mothers Against Dylsexia
____________________________________________________
|
|
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
|
____________________________________________________
Today on November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The nudity on
the paintings have been painted over in the 1970's.
1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was
first presented at Whitehall Palace in London.
1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was
first presented at Whitehall Palace in London.
1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal
by an earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami.
1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the
American colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on
the same day that the Parliament passed the Declaratory
Acts which asserted that the British government had free
and total legislative power of the colonies.
1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president
to live in the White House when he moved in.
1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical
School later merged with Boston University School of
Medicine.
1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal,
was published in New York City, NY.
1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief
of the American Union armies.
1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The
money orders provided a safe way for payments by mail.
1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via
telegraph.
1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application
for a high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898).
1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first
time. It later became known as "Billboard."
1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died.
1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the
first class.
1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis
in Libya. It was the first aerial bombing.
1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in
which he described the alliance between Italy and Nazi
Germany as an "axis" running between Berlin and Rome.
1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the
first movie for Abbott and Costello.
1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter
plane hit an airliner.
1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate
U.S. President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when
they tried to force their way into Blair House in
Washington, DC.
1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands.
1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule.
1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the
first goalie in the NHL to wear a mask.
1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change
its orbit.
1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-
13 and NC-17 went into effect.
1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks
against the U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian
militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took 63
Americans hostage.
1981 The U.S. Postal Service raised the first-class letter
rate to 20 cents.
1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a
Mexican anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug
traffickers.
1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's
Central Committee.
1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when
East Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia.
1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end
of a cease-fire with the Contra rebels.
1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took
effect.
1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered.
1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present.
1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced
that between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-
square mile area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in
northern Nicaragua by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch.
1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global
satellite phone and paging system.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 6 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 370 )
Monday, October 31, 2016, 09:39 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 31
Happy Halloween!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Pothead or potbutt? Dope dealer in road rage incident
hid pot in his butt, dope and gun in car.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany and wars throughout Europe.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some
time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon
of communal stupidity.
--- Robertson Davies
When you don't have any money,
the problem is food.
When you have money, it's sex.
When you have both, it's health.
If everything is simply jake,
then you're frightened of death.
--- J.P. Donleavy
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really
worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued
from staying up all night long.
Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At
her age, that's not good at all."
The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Tech Support: "OK, Jose, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the
Programs."
Jose: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Jose."
Jose: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P', on your keyboard, Jose."
Jose: "I'm not going to do that!"
Tech Support: "Jose, I'm going to have to put you on hold
for a bit. One of the other techs here needs to have an
emergency hernia transplant."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:
Pink and blue at Shell Beach, California
from Lillemor
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Nabil Subhai Hasan, 23,
Derrick Alan Innocent, 23,
Lakeland,
Floriduh
Pothead or potbutt? Dope dealer in road rage incident
hid pot in his butt, dope and gun in car.
The FHP arrested a driver and his passenger in a road rage
incident for throwing bottles at another vehicle on I-4.
Late Wednesday night, dispatchers received a call from a
driver who reported people inside another vehicle were
throwing objects at her while both traveling westbound on I-4
in Polk County. The incident began in Lakeland near mile
marker 33 and continued for another 11 miles to Plant City.
The female driver told dispatchers she heard a gun shot after
glass bottles were thrown at her car.
Officers with Lakeland Police conducted a traffic stop of the
suspect vehicle at mile marker 22 on I-4.
According to the arrest affidavit, officers found a bag of
Ecstasy shoved under the driver's seat and a loaded semi-
automatic gun under the cushion of the rear right seat.
Police also found a bag of marijuana hidden inside the
driver's butt.
Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Jason Guaba arrived on scene
and spoke to the alleged victims. He then interviewed the
driver and two passengers inside the suspect vehicle. There
was also an infant in the vehicle at the time of the
incident.
After concluding his investigation Trooper Guaba arrested the
driver, 23-year-old Nabil Subhai Hasan, and one of his
passengers, 23-year-old Derrick Alan Innocent. Both men were
taken to Orient Road Jail for booking.
Both Hasan and Innocent are facing four felonies charges: two
counts of Throwing a Deadly Missile into an Occupied Vehicle,
Felon in Possession of a Weapon, and Possession of Cocaine
with Intent to Sell. They were also arrested for Misdemeanor
Possession of Marijuana.
There was no mention in the report about charges for
endangering the infant.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Dixie H
Re: Can't Forward
Dear Webby,
CAN'T FORWARD YOUR PROGRAM TO MY FRIENDS
CAN THIS BE CORRECTED??
Dixie H.
Dear Dixie
I have no idea which of the many email programs you use.
Check in the "Help" of your email program to see how an
email is forwarded with the email program that you use.
Usually you just find the icon for forwarding,
hit that,
type in the recipient address, and hit SEND.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Here is a classic that came back to me from Rick.
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She
noticed a man sitting opposite her was smiling. She
immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile
turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed even more amused. When on the
fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained
to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man
(about20) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied," Well, you're Honor, it was like this.
When the woman got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice
her condition. She sat under a sign that said,
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I smiled.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
' Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling' and I had to
grin.
Then she moved under a sign that said,
' William's Big Stick did the trick' and I could hardly
contain myself.
BUT you're Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat
under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented
this accident'… I just lost it."
Case dismissed.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Old Fashioned Coconut Cream Pie
By Abigail A. [21 Posts, 1,334 Comments]
This is my go-to custard pie recipe. I love coconut! If you
prefer meringue to whipped topping, you can make it with the
leftover egg whites.
Prep Time: About 20 minutes
Cook Time: About 25 minutes
Total Time: 45 to 55 minutes
Yield: One pie
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 tsp salt
2 Tbsp cornstarch
3 egg yolks
1 Tbsp coconut oil or butter
1/2 cup shredded, unsweetened (dry) coconut
1/2 tsp coconut flavoring
1 uncooked bottom pie crust (You can use the refrigerated,
rolled pie crust)
Steps:
Scald milk in top of double boiler. Meanwhile combine sugar,
cornstarch, salt and egg yolks in a bowl.
Pour the scalded milk into the mixed ingredients, and pour
the mixture back into the double boiler. Stir and cook until
thickened.
Remove from heat and add the coconut oil, shredded coconut
and flavoring. Pour into pastry lined pie pan and crimp
edges.
Bake in 450 degree F oven for 10 minutes, then immediately
turn down to 325 degrees F. Bake for an additional 10 to 20
minutes more or until a toothpick inserted in the middle
comes out clean.
Let cool and cover with whipped topping.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike
made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after
she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs
and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it
balance!"
Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see...
mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow
wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615.
What the heck is that?"
"Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!"
|
| New York Handpan
|
____________________________________________________
In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine
snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a
newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged
Caumeneur."
The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but
was used to the infusion of French words into the local
vocabulary.
"Could you please spell that?" she asked.
"You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e
____________________________________________________
During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young
Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and
beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm
leaving.
Don't try and stop me!"
With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and
followed close behind.
"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and
stop me."
"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait
a minute, I'll go with you."
____________________________________________________
|
|
The art of......paper art.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany and wars throughout Europe.
1864 Nevada became the 36th state to join the U.S.
1868 Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved a
standard uniform for postal carriers.
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria).
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy.
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been
damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the
stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini
had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and
their ability to withstand hard blows.
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain
prevented Germany from invading Britain.
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of
work. At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George
Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham
Lincoln were finished.
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered
World War II. More than 100 men were killed.
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb.
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a
revolt against French rule.
1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not
marry Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend.
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land
an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first
person to set foot on the South Pole.
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth,
TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the
time he was in Moscow, Russia.
1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was
removed from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display.
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all
U.S. bombing of North Vietnam.
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-
Mart Stores, Inc.
1981 Antiqua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital.
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated
near her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son,
Rajiv, was sworn in as prime minister.
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72,
plunged into a northern Indiana farm.
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life
in prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in
the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released
after her sentence was reduced to manslaughter.
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with
U.N. arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the
country's weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's
invasion of Kuwait in 1990.
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket,
MA, killing all 217 people aboard.
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran
Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of
Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal
dispute over the nature of faith and salvation.
2001 Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a
tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the
software company.
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time.
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final
shipment of VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last
major United States supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 10 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 437 )
DSL and FAX on the same line?
Sunday, October 30, 2016, 07:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 30
Tomorrow is Halloween!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Intoxicated Indiana mower driver used son as shield,
threatened trooper
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher
grade of prejudices.
--- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Tyrone was visiting Leroy and discussing Leroy's problems
with his wife when Leroy's doorbell rang.
Leroy answered the door and was handed a paper which
the deliverer said was a subpoena.
Leroy showed it to Tyrone and asked him if he knew
what it was.
Tyrone said, "Dis here is a subpeena."
"Wut is a sub-peena?" Leroy asked.
"Well," said Tyrone, "dat's law talk. Yo wife is suing
you for deevorce. We know dat 'sub' means 'unda' and
'peena' is Latin for 'penis', so - 'subpeena' means unda
the penis which means she done got you by da balls."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
A STAR: A performer who makes more than his or her agent.
A SUPERSTAR: A performer who makes more than Guatemala.
______________________________________________________
From FB
Somewhere in Vermont
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Samuel L. Wilson,
22,
Connersville,
Indiana
Intoxicated mower driver used son as shield,
threatened trooper
Indiana State Police arrested a Connersville man who
allegedly drove a lawn mower while intoxicated, threatened an
off-duty trooper with a knife then used his own son as a
human shield.
Samuel L. Wilson, 22, allegedly drove the lawn mower with his
5-year-old son on board to the home of Indiana State Police
Officer Scott McPheeters about 6:15 p.m. Monday, State Police
said in a news release.
McPheeters was doing yard work as his children played nearby
at his home in rural south western Wayne County.
Wilson, who police said was "obviously intoxicated," asked
for a tow. McPheeters instead offered to call someone who
would to give the man a ride, but police said Wilson turned
"vulgar and belligerent."
McPheeters took his children into his house and called for
backup. McPheeters went outside to wait for officers and try
to calm Wilson.
Wilson, police said, pulled a knife from his belt and
threatened McPheeters. McPheeters persuaded Wilson to put
down the knife, but police said Wilson refused to cooperate
when Cambridge Police Officer Larry Kuhn arrived.
"The man resisted and refused to follow directions, and even
attempted to use his five-year-old son as a shield," State
Police said in the news release. "Officers were able to get
the boy free from the man and take him into custody."
Wilson was arrested and taken to the Wayne County Jail.
Wilson faces initial charges of intimidation, operating a
vehicle while intoxicated with a passenger under age 18 and
resisting law enforcement.
Police said Wilson's blood-alcohol level tested at more than
twice the legal driving limit of .08 percent.
The boy was released to his custodial parent, police said.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Fred
Re: DSL and Fax
Dear Webby,
Can I run a fax machine on the same line as the DSL ?
Thanks
Fred
Dear Fred
Yes, sure. They share the same wire, just like your 144 TV
channels share the same wire.
Only dial-up and voice and fax can't use the same wire at the
same time, but any one of them can have DSL piggy-backing on
the same wire.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
From a subscriber who does not have a signature line in
her mail:
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I
want out of
life is four animals."
The teacher asked, "Really, and what four animals?
The little girl said A mink on my back, a jaguar in the
Garage,
a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The Teacher Fainted
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Teriyaki Bat Wings
By Teri Malec P.
Teriyaki Bat WingsChicken wings marinated in teriyaki sauce
makes a spooky, yet yummy appetizer!
Prep Time: 30 mins
Cook Time: 45 mins
Total Time: 1 hour 15 mins
Ingredients:
¼ cup soy sauce
½ cup water
4-5 Tbsp honey (to taste)
1 lb chicken wings, separated into drums and tips
Steps:
Make the teriyaki sauce with the soy sauce, honey and water.
Mix well.
Separate the wings. Marinate the chicken in the teriyaki
sauce. Refrigerate for a few hours. Make sure the chicken
pieces become nice and dark.
Bake the wings at 400 degrees F. for about 45 mins, or until
crispy.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Roland for this one:
My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to
change his address from Texas to Vermont.
The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.
As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, mon,
I aint not stupid or nuthin, juss tell me what state it's
in."
|
| tree cutting machines!
|
____________________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was trying to teach her class about
the difference between right and wrong.
"All right children, let's take another example," she said.
"If I were to get into a man's pocket and take all his money,
what would I be?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile,
he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
____________________________________________________
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented,
"When we were first married, you took the small piece
of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the
large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love
me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband,
"you just cook a lot better now."
____________________________________________________
|
|
What a great idea to turn an unused hillside into a children's park!
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 30 in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established
by Simon Bolivar.
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history.
1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular
vote.
1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the
Sherman Silver Purchase Act of 1890.
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of
Rochester, NY.
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS
radio. The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was
a live news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among
listeners.
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing.
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize.
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of
approximately 58 megatons.
1961 The Soviet Party Congress unanimously approved an order
to remove Joseph Stalin's body from Lenin's tomb.
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to
increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion.
1972 In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains
collided on Chicago's south side.
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator
Francisco Franco was near death.
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City:
Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President
Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal
bailout of New York City.
1982 Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time
since it was ratified on April 25, 1976.
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-
Solidarity priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was
blamed on four security officers.
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51
percent of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York.
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space,
performed the world's first animal dissections in space,
while aboard the space shuttle Columbia.
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian
President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's
military still in control.
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a
referendum concerning secession from the federation of
Canada.
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and
the 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads
raided the plane.
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw
out the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the
New York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks.
2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington
Wizards after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91
to the New York Knicks.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.8 / 378 )
Saturday, October 29, 2016, 07:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 29
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Texas student crashes SUV into patrol car after
taking topless Snapchat selfie
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize
what a burden it was.
--- Margaret Mitchell (1900 - 1949)
Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt...
Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt,
except themselves.
--- Robert Anton Wilson
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives
a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
-- Socratex
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect.
My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a
stranger's voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will
you accept the charges?"
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside
screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Chris for this one:
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is
shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to
throw a wild temper tantrum.
No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to
try to calm him down the boy continues to scream furiously
and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man in a U.S. Marine
Corps uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle.
Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand,
the courtly, soft-spoken Marine leans down and, motioning
toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's
hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.
All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the Marine slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of
the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.
"Excuse me, sir," she ask quietly, "but could I ask you what
magic words you used on that little boy?"
The Marine smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed
him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and
explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out
the plane door, on any flight I choose, and that I was just
wondering if he was the one to kick out."
______________________________________________________
From FB
Frosty Lakes by Saed
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Miranda Kay Radar,
20,
Ryan, Texas
Texas student crashes SUV into patrol car after
taking topless Snapchat selfie
A Texas A&M student told police she was taking a topless
Snapchat selfie for her boyfriend moments before her SUV
slammed into the back of a parked police car.
It happened around 8:30 p.m. Wednesday on East Villa Maria
Road in Ryan, Texas.
According to KBTX, Bryan Police Officer John Sartell
approached the vehicle to find the driver, 20-year-old
Miranda Kay Radar, wearing an unclasped bra, attempting to
put her shirt on.
There was also an open bottle of wine in the center console
cupholder, police say.
When Officer Sartell asked her why she was not dressed, the
woman told him she was “taking a Snapchat photo to send to
her boyfriend while she was at a red light.”
Rader was charged with DWI with an open container and was
also issued a citation for minor in possession of alcohol.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Marsha
Re: Mysterious mail bounces
Dear Webby,
Ross, my oldest and blondest brother, thinks he is so smart
that he can improve on the way I set the mail up for him.
Right now, he told me on the phone, he can mail out to
anybody, but if he tries to reply or forward, he gets
bounces.
What did he do now ?
And what do you recommend?
Thanks
Marsha
Dear Marsha
Most likely he has his mail set to "Send a copy to self" for
forwards and replies. And because he doesn't read his own
copies of the replies and forwards anyway, he has himself
blocked with some spam control program.
He should either take the checkmark off "Send a copy to
self", or else stop blocking mail from himself.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
During the weeks before Jill's wedding, she was terribly
anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The
minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the
service was not difficult and she will do just fine.
"All you have to remember," he said, "is that when you
enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best
man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request
the congregation to sing a HYMN ....then we shall get on
with the ceremony.
All you have to remember is the order in which those things
happen and you can't go wrong."
The happy day finally arrived, and the bridegroom waited
nervously for his bride to appear.
When she arrived and stood alongside him, he heard her
quietly repeating to herself,
"Aisle, altar, hymn, aisle, altar, hymn."
Or, as it sounded to him, "I'll alter him!"
------------------
For people for whom English is a second language, the
word "alter" is normally used with animals, for example
a bull is sometimes "altered" and made into an ox, by
cutting off his family jewels.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Mennonite Baked Corn
By GRAPE [12 Posts, 14 Comments]
Total Time: 40 minutes
Yield: 8 servings
Ingredients:
4 cups fresh, frozen or canned corn
4 Tbsp butter
3 Tbsp flour
2 cups milk
2 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
2 beaten eggs
Steps:
Melt butter and add flour over medium heat.
Add milk gradually, bring to boil while stirring gradually.
Add corn, sugar, salt and pepper, and stir and heat
thoroughly.
Remove from heat and add beaten eggs.
Pour into buttered dish and bake at 350 degrees F for 35
minutes or until firm.
YUMMMMY Mennonite recipe!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A young man goes to a girl's house to pick her up for their
first date. She shows him into the living room, then
excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them coffee.
Looking around the room, the fellow notices a little vase on
the mantel. He picks it up to examine it, and as he is
looking at it, she walks back in.
"What's this?" he asks her.
"Oh," she says, "my father's ashes are in there."
The young man turns beet red and is speechless as he gently
sets the vase back on the mantle.
"Yeah," the girl says, "he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to
get an ashtray."
|
| cargo ship responds to little girl's request to honk - Thank you Bausell Sailor
|
____________________________________________________
A Kansas farm couple who are sleeping early one morning,
when a tornado roars over their farmhouse. It lifts the roof
off, picks up the bed the farmer and his wife are sleeping in
and sets them down gently in the next county.
The wife begins to cry.
"Don't be scared, dear," her husband says. "We're not hurt."
The woman continues to cry.
"I'm not scared," she says between sobs. "I'm crying because
I'm happy. This is the first time in 14 years we've been out
together!"
____________________________________________________
From Ardy
I just loved your story about Vancouver in the rain.
You've always known how to have FUN, haven't
you!
In 1970, I was 25, divorced and working at one of
the computer parts plants in town, Chip-Tronics.
It was someone's birthday & I'd bought her a pretty
umbrella.
I remember telling everyone what a terrible time I
had, gift-wrapping it. I went into such detail about
all of the wrapping paper I'd torn & had to discard.
It went on for 10 minutes, probably.....turning into
quite a comedy routine. The 'Seinfeld' writers could
have developed a half hour show with the material
that I related!
I ended my story with the revelation I'd had.....that
perhaps if I'd close the umbrella, it might be easier
to wrap!
____________________________________________________
|
|
Some of these I would like to have!
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 29 in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that
had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy
against King James I.
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth.
1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was
the founder of Pennsylvania.
1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was
founded.
1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley,
was electrocuted.
1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution
of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal,
later known as Kemal Ataturk.
1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the
Wall Street stock market.
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S.
1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on
sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of
$12.50 each.
1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez
Canal Crisis.
1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close-
circuit television.
1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional
fight.
1966 The National Organization for Women was founded.
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all
school segregation.
1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records.
He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting
him
over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season.
1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding
discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or
marital status
1985 It was announced that Maj. Gen. Samuel K. Doe had won
the first multiparty election in Liberia.
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's
regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during
its occupation of Kuwait.
1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an
asteroid (Gaspra).
1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to
pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President
Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power.
1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food
and Drug Administration.
1995 Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers became the NFL's
career leader in receiving yards with 14,040 yards.
1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission
condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the
African National Congress.
1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn
on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first
American to orbit the Earth.
1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2
million at a New York auction.
2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 366 )
Friday, October 28, 2016, 08:26 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Wisconsin teacher passed out drunk on 4th grade
field trip getting 'rewarded' with a massive payday
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
After two years in Washington, I often long for the
realism and sincerity of Hollywood.
--- Fred Thompson
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness
forgot about puppies."
--- Gene Hill
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is
awful.
Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the
germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is
the most dangerous of all, that causes more pain and
suffering than any other product, and yet we all eat it. Can
anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?
You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation
in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress
codes and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man
casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a
little casually today, aren't we?"
The man replied, "That's the fringe benefit I get for owning
the company."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Maria Caya,
53,
Janesville, Wisconsin
Wisconsin teacher passed out drunk on 4th grade
field trip getting 'rewarded' with a massive payday
In 2013, students at a Janesville, Wisconsin, elementary
school were gearing up for the last day of school.
In honor of the quickly-approaching summer vacation, the
school's fourth and fifth graders went on a field trip to the
local bowling alley.
Fourth grade teacher Maria Caya was slated to be one of the
field trip's chaperones.
No one would imagine Caya would show up drunk and proceed to
pass out in the bowling alley bathroom.
Found in the bathroom by another faculty member, Caya was
rushed to the hospital where she drew a blood alcohol level
of .27 — three times the legal driving limit for the state of
Wisconsin:
In light of the incident, Caya was asked to resign from her
job and was paid $18,000 by the school district to do so.
According to the school district, firing Caya would have
resulted in legal costs exceeding that payout.
In the wake of the ordeal, Janesville police released Caya's
blood alcohol levels, which prompted Caya to begin a massive
$5.5 million lawsuit against the city.
The former teacher claimed the department's decision to
improperly release her blood alcohol levels caused her stress
and public embarrassment.
Despite Caya already receiving the $18,000 payout from the
school, the City of Janesville agreed to pay her $75,000.
According to NBC 15, the nearly six-figure payout was done so
that the case wouldn't have to go to trial.
With the news of Caya's win, parents have been left disgusted
because they believe Caya endangered their children.
To make matters even more complicated, it is unclear as to
whether the police department broke any laws when it came to
releasing Caya's alcohol levels.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Rick
Re: Screaming computer
Dear Webby,
Dear Webby,
I had left an old computer at the cabin, so that I could
use it for downloading pictures from the camera and
burning them onto a CD.
Wen we got to the cabin and I turned on the computer,
instead of the familiar fan noises there was the most
godawful screaching and screaming, like a cat was
inside it and slowly getting sliced into little pieces by
the fans. I turned it off and took the side cover off,
but all I saw in there, aside from the circuit boards
and drives, were dust bunnies.
What wold cause that awful noise?
Rick
Dear Rick
When the frozen machine starts up, the thin film of grease
in the fan bearings gets pushed along into micro dunes
that look like miniature fish scales under the microcope.
Just like any old grease, it retains the stickiness that is
intended to keep it on the job, but it loses it's lubricating
qualities and creaks like an old outhouse door.
The high speed creaking is what you heard and thought
was an animal screaming in pain. Naturally that does not
prolong the usable lifetime of that fan.
Some of the more modern computers and power supplies
don't turn on the fans until there is actual need for
cooling.
On older equipment, you have to either put up with the
screaming for a bit, or else wait until the cabin and the
computer warm up.
An alternative would be to just buy a larger capacity
memory chip for the camera, or if it is from the XP era
and has a 2 GB maximum, get a few extra chips. 2 Gb SD chips
are getting rather scarce, so it might be a good idea to
stock up on them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Here's a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy.
Why do golf courses have 18 holes - not 20, or 10, or an
even dozen?
During a discussion among the club's membership board
at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that
it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch.
By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per
hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished
when the Scotch ran out.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Iron To Remove Nail Polish Remover Stain
Regarding nail polish remover spilled on real wood table.
Yes! The hot iron with white washcloth worked WONDERS! I was
stunned!
By Jojo from Texas
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
On her way back from the concession stand, Tricia asked the
man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a
minute ago?"
Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did."
Tricia nodded. "Oh, good. Then this is my row."
|
| cargo ship responds to little girl's request to honk - Thank you Bausell Sailor
|
____________________________________________________
A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage
she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked -
"I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your
husband sometimes talks about his first wife?"
"Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied.
"What stopped him?"
"I started talking about my next husband."
____________________________________________________
This happened in England, where people always carry an
umbrella, even on the odd days, when it doesn't rain.
A man was in the habit of carrying an umbrella wherever he
went. Unfortunately, he broke his last good one. Looking at
the six useless umbrellas in his umbrella stand, he decided
to take them all in and have them repaired.
On the bus on the way home, he picked up the umbrella that
belonged to the woman sitting next to him, purely out of
habit.
She immediately cried, "Stop, thief!" and he surrendered the
umbrella. Very embarrassed, he quickly got off the bus.
The next week he picked up his repaired umbrellas.
When he got on the bus with the six umbrellas under his
arm, he just so happened to sit next to the very same woman.
She gave him an icy stare and said, "Had a good day, huh?"
---------------
That reminds me of an umbrella experience I had in Vancouver
in the 70's. It rains a lot in Vancouver, but I was new and
was caught downtown in a real downpour. I ducked into the
entranceway at Sears to escape the worst. While standing
there I was idly reading the list of departments and the
floors they were on.
"Lost and Found Floor 12" caught my eye.
So I went up there and asked if they had found my umbrella.
"A black one ?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah, a black one." I replied.
"Telescoping or Gent?"
"Uh, Gent." I figured, a hippie like me would naturally
carry a gentleman's straight umbrella, not a weird one that
might require readig instructions.
The lady behind the counter groaned and left.
A minute later she came back with a huge armload of black
umbrellas.
"Take your pick!"
She didn't say anything about trying to find mine, just to
take my pick. I did. The second one was perfect. No pinholes,
smooth action, no rust specks, fine leather handle.
Just as I was about to say something that it might be the
right one, the lady told me: "Take a couple of spares. I got
truckloads of them back there and hate carrying these back
there again."
I felt so sorry for her, I took the whole armload that she
had dumped onto the counter. That made her smile !
Outside again, I gave a couple to the Hare Krishnas who
were chanting in the rain and dancing like old drunks who
had not noticed that the music had stopped. Then I spotted
a mother with a baby carriage, so I ran after her and gave
one to her and one to the kid.
I had a great time, until I realized that I had given away
ALL of the umbrellas.
Back at Sears I told the lady at the Lost and Found the
truth, and we had a good laugh about it.
During the second armload the rain lessened and stopped
and when the sun broke through the clouds, I was stuck with
one umbrella. Since I felt silly carrying an umbrella when it
didn't rain, I left it on the bus.
____________________________________________________
|
|
Archaeologists have unearthed a huge ancient settlement in Inner Mongolia.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 28 in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The
original name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was
the first school of higher education in America.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the
American Revolutionary War.
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor
by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and
is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty
Enlightening the World."
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use
fingerprinting.
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known
as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in
1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S.
Constitution.
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government
and introduced fascism to Italy.
1936 The Statue of Liberty was rededicated by U.S. President
Roosevelt on its 50th anniversary.
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece.
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman swore in Eugenie Moore
Anderson as the U.S. ambassador to Denmark. Anderson was the
first woman to hold the post of ambassador.
1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the
name John XXIII.
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that
he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in
Cuba.
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of
collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO,
was completed.
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President
Richard Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ,
to begin serving his sentence for Watergate-related
convictions.
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution
"deeply deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada.
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker,
pled guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union.
1986 The centennial of the Statue of Liberty was celebrated
in New York.
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the
abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution
of the drug after the government of France demanded it do so.
1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing.
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called
for a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military
leaders.
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that
all the troops there would be home by Christmas.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 767 )
Where can you study Color?
Thursday, October 27, 2016, 10:36 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 27
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Drunken woman found with handcuffs, guns
after wrong-way crash on I-4 in Florida
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 27, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the
first Quakers to be executed in America.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
There is nothing more demoralizing than a small
but adequate income.
--- Edmund Wilson (1895 - 1972)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it
was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day,
decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick
and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton
headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he
knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was
alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else
was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord
while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're
not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight
towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and
fell into the hole.
It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished.
He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do
that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening
passion for baked beans. She loved them. Alas, they
had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat
lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When
it became apparent that they would marry she thought
to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he
would never go for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way
home from work. Since she lived in the country
she called her husband and told him that she would
be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor
of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that
she would walk off any ill effects by the time she
reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it,
she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
She putt-putted all the way home, and upon arriving
home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly,"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the
table. She seated herself and just as he was about to
remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until
he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting
her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable,
so while her husband was out of the room she seized
the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took
her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then
she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other
room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her
freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her
napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if
she had peeked, and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was really
surprised!! There were twelve rather green faced dinner
guests seated around the table to wish her a
"Happy Birthday"!!!
______________________________________________________
Fall in Washington, State
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Angela Sammons,
32,
Maitland,
Floriduh
Drunken woman found with handcuffs, guns
after wrong-way crash on I-4
A 32-year-old woman was arrested Saturday on DUI charges
after she drove the wrong way on Interstate 4 in Maitland and
crashed into a barrier, according to the Florida Highway
Patrol.
FHP said in an arrest report that it received about 13 calls
to 911 about the driver, who was going west on I-4 East.
Troopers said when they approached the crashed car, Angela
Sammons got out of the sedan without shoes, and that when a
trooper handed Sammons her shoes she put them on the wrong
feet.
The FHP report stated Sammons was stumbling and staggering on
her feet, and did not know where she was or where she was
driving to.
Sammons was placed in the back of a patrol car, where she
fell asleep, troopers said.
FHP said when a trooper woke Sammons up and asked her if she
was OK, she slurred her words and said she was tired and
wanted to go home.
Troopers said Sammons refused a field sobriety and
Breathalyzer tests.
Channel 9 found out that Sammons was an officer for the
Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco.
The state said Sammons voluntarily left her position last
year.
Troopers said they found multiple Florida driver’s licenses
in her purse, and loaded guns and handcuffs in her car.
Sammons was booked into the Orange County Jail on charges of
driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, involving a
vehicle crash, FHP said.
Her bail was set at $500.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Janice
Re: Color question
Dear Webby,
I have been told a few times that my sense of color is
barbaric, with clothes too, but mostly with my web pages.
Some people suggested I take some time and study up
on colors.
I have taken a course on color at the community college a
few years ago, and I have a hunch, that is where my
problem with colors started.
Well, I'm still willing to study, but where do I find good
info on that topic?
Thanks
Janice
Dear Janice
Try Color Matters at
colormatters.com/
That site has a lot of information about color, a bulletin
board where you can ask questions, and a good reference
library for deeper study.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had
designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He
asked my help in putting it into operation.
At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though,
he asked me to help with the last phase of the training.
When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be
showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed
with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him."
Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced
than I was.
"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you.
I get nervous around smart people."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ridding Your Kitchen of Fruit Flies
By EllenB [805 Posts, 1 Comment]
An Easy Fruit Fly Trap
After removing all potential sources for feeding and
breeding, use this trap to take care of any remaining adult
flies.
Fill one or more small jars with 1 inch of beer, wine, or
Apple Cider Vinegar (not white vinegar). This fermenting
liquid is your "bait".
Place a plastic sandwich bag over the mouth of the jar, so
that one corner reaches down into the jar just above the
"bait" (you're creating a funnel).
Poke a small, 1/8 inch hole in the corner of the bag with the
tip of a pencil.
Secure the bag around the rim of the jar with a rubber band.
Place the jars around your kitchen or near your problem
plants. Since you've already taken away their food supply and
breeding grounds, the fruit flies will be searching for more.
The "bait" will attract the fruit flies to the traps. They'll
enter through the hole in the bottom of the funnel, and not
be able to get out.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call
Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention,"
he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at
the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor."
"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't
realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"
|
| dog loves the leaves
|
____________________________________________________
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in
the obituaries. The guy at the counter, after offering his
condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say
about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'"
The man, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just
'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like
to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the
first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said,
"O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'"
____________________________________________________
A classic that came back to me from Noah
A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage
and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper
wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him.
"You just give me a list of your employees and tell me
how much you pay them."
"All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with
me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and
board. I have a cook. She's been here six months. She
gets $500 a week plus room and board."
"Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note
pad.
"Yeah," the farmer said. "There's a half-wit here. Works
about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week
and give him tobacco."
"A ha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that half-wit!"
"You are talkin' to him," said the farmer.
____________________________________________________
|
|
The rare and elusive Spirit bear.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the
first Quakers to be executed in America.
1787 The first of the Federalist Papers were published in the
New York Independent. The series of 85 essays, written by
Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, were
published under the pen name "Publius."
1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San
Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty."
1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York
City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other
seven failed.
1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed
of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George
"Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to
convict him, only two of his associates were convicted.
1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the
first rapid-transit subway system in America.
1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis.
1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New
York.
1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2
1/4".
1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new
synthetic yarn.
1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Groucho
Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television.
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had
been married on January 14, 1954.
1954 The first Walt Disney television show "Disneyland"
premiered on ABC.
1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by
calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile bases in Turkey.
U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the
agreement.
1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime
Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace
Prize for their progress toward achieving a Middle East
accord.
1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S.
prison population had exceeded one million for the first time
in American history.
1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points.
The stock market was shut down for the first time since the
1981 assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan.
2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of
Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected
leftist leader.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 11 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 422 )
Add a Sunday line in an Excel graph
Wednesday, October 26, 2016, 11:31 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 26
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
2 found guilty in murder of special needs teen
over his red shoes
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 26, in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.
--- Shana Alexander
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the
hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the
circulation of their blood.
--- Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)
"A man may be a fool and not know it --
but not if he is married."
--- H.L. Mencken
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they
were given an activity requiring the husband to wear
a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels
like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying,
"This doesn't feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the
husband to pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant,
the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to
his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive
parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given
his OK for the man to park there.
The Judge asked the man if he would recognise the Officer
if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.
The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again,
tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Kanasho Johns, 29,
Kevin Deon Johnson, 26
Los Angeles,
California
2 found guilty in murder of special needs teen
over his red shoes
Two men were found guilty on Monday of first-degree murder in
the slaying of a special needs teen, who was gunned down in
South Los Angeles allegedly over the color of his shoes.
The victim, Price was described as standing under 5 feet tall
and weighing less than 90 pounds.
Jurors convicted Kanasho Johns, 29, and Kevin Deon Johnson,
26, for the 2015 killing of Tavin Price, described by family
members as having special needs. Johns was also convicted of
felony possession of a firearm.
Prosecutors say Johns and Johnson were two neighborhood Crips
members, and they targeted Price because of what he was
wearing.
Around 11 a.m. last May, Price and his mother, Jennifer
Rivers, were at a car wash near the corner of Florence Avenue
and Crenshaw Boulevard.
Price went into a nearby store, where he was approached by a
man who asked Price to remove his shoes. Price then walked
back to his mother at the car wash to tell her what the man
said.
Authorities said the man followed Price back to the car wash
and opened fire. Rivers said she tried to run after the
shooter but couldn't catch him.
In court, Price was depicted as wearing a red T-shirt and red
shoes at the time of the shooting.
Rivers described her son as having a mental capacity of a 12-
year-old, saying he was never affiliated with a gang in his
life. Price was also described as standing under 5 feet tall
and weighing less than 90 pounds.
"This is a stereotypical innocent victim," said deputy
district attorney Bobby Zoumberakis. "He's done nothing
wrong. He had no criminal record. He had no gang involvement.
I think the jury saw that and saw how important it was to get
justice for him."
A third man, 31-year-old Dwight Kevin Smith, has pleaded
guilty to voluntary manslaughter in Price's death. He is set
to be sentenced in October. Sentencing for Johns and Johnson
is scheduled for Nov. 30.
Rivers said she is relieved her sons' killers are heading to
prison.
"They have to sit there and feel every pain, everything that
I feel," she said. "All I could hear every day is my son
saying 'Mommy am I going to be alright? I'm not going to die,
am I?'"
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Janet
Re: Excel: make a Sunday line in a graph
Dear Webby,
I'm sure glad we got you! Nobody else knows your Excel
tricks, and there is nothing in the Excel help about it.
I got a graph, where I enter my blood sugar readings. I want
the graph to show a line to indicate Sundays. How do I do
that?
Janet
Dear Janet
Lets say you choose vertical bars for the sugar readings,
with the date below the bottom and the date numbers turned 90
degrees.
You probably have a column for the date in your data part.
Let's say that is column B and you have the date there
increasing by one every row. Start with row 4 and leave the
first 3 rows for headers.
Don't worry about getting the date number. Just type in the
date like 10/16/2016 into B4
If the maximum in the sugar reading lines is 20, then put
this formula into the column, where you have Sundays:
=IF(WEEKDAY(B4,1)=1,$B$2,0)
That formula checks to see if the day code in B4
(using method 1, which is standard) =1
1 is the day code for Sunday, 2 is Monday, 3 is Tuesday, and
so on.
So, if it IS 1 (Sunday), then the formula uses whatever you
have in B2. That number should be a bit bigger than the
maximum expected sugar reading, for example 20.
If the day code is NOT 1, then the number is 0
You COULD hardwire the 20 from B2 into the formula,
but then, if you have to change that to a lower or higher
number, you would have to change that in every line.
This way you just change it in the look-up cell: B2
Clear enough?
Have FUN!
DearWebby
>From Max
The other day I needed to call home, but the only pay phone I
could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely
waited until it was free, thinking it would only be a couple
of minutes.
Five minutes went by, and still the man was on the phone. He
was just standing there, not saying a word. Another five
minutes went by, and he still wasn't talking.
Finally, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could
use the phone. I really wouldn't be long, but needed to make
an important call.
"Hold your horses," he responded, covering the receiver. "I'm
talking to my wife."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Holiday Candle Holders
By Donna [362 Posts, 373 Comments]
This is a great looking and easy to make project for any
holiday with a personalization of your stencil theme.
Total Time: 1 hour
Supplies:
empty glass jar(s) with at least one smooth side
self stick vinyl sheet (ask at any craft and many Dollar
stores)
scissors
acrylic paint
sponge brush(s)
tea candle(s)
string, twine, or rattan
optional: corn kernels, beans, beads, or even pebbles for the
bottom of the jar
Steps:
Draw or copy a shape onto the back of your sheet of vinyl.
Cut it out, remove the backing and stick it directly onto
your jar, smoothing out any bubbles.
Paint your first coat of whatever color you choose onto your
jar. It will be thin and streaky, that's OK you will let it
dry a bit while making your second jar and come back for two
or three coats more.
Before the paint becomes totally dry peel off your cut out
decal. If you wait until it drys it may pull off some paint
and leave less clear edges.
Once it is dry, tie some twine or rope along the top neck of
the jar and add whatever seeds or beans into the bottom of
the jar before adding your tea candle.
They make a sweet centerpiece or decoration, don't you think?
To avoid having the tea candles
sitting at an angle like the right one in the picture, don't
use beans or anything coarse for the ballast. Ballast is
supposed to be heavy and even. Plaster of Paris with a tea
candle pressed into it before it hardens makes a much safer
ballast.
However, unless you have cats who like knocking things over,
you don't normally need a ballast. Gluing some of that sticky
feeling drawer liner mesh onto the bottom (outside) is much
safer.
Also, unless you are a sadist who enjoys seeing people burn
their fingers, include a few pieces of spaghetti. They work
really well for lighting the candle, pilot lights and even
BBQs.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Hey, since we're now living in the time of e-mail and the
more
common use of the written language, it is time for an English
lesson. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules
to keep in mind:
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad
too.
11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than
necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical
words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose
earth ahattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when
its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me
what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand
times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a billion can use
it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than
understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
|
| every picture tells a
story - awesome photography
|
____________________________________________________
A doctor sees the old man walking down the
street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm!
The next time the old man had an appointment,
the doc says, "You're really doing great, aren't
you?"
"Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a
hot mama and be cheerful."
"I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart
murmur, be careful..."
"You do that, doc! I gotta run now. Mama is waiting!"
____________________________________________________
A spammer had been feeling down for so long that he finally
decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, laid on the couch, spilled his guts then
waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make
him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked him a few questions, took some notes
then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled
look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and
said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is
very common among losers."
____________________________________________________
|
|
The rare and elusive Spirit bear.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000.
1854 Charles William Post was born. He was the inventor of
"Grape Nuts," "Postum" and "Post Toasties."
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine.
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone,
AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and
Doc Holiday and the Ike Clanton Gang.
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden.
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa
Cruz during World War II.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The
battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the
Pacific phase of World War II into sight.
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from
40 to 75 cents an hour.
1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great
Britain.
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner
from New York City to Paris.
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile
Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S.
agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles
in Turkey.
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26
years on the Peacock Throne.
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared,
"Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. That was the admission of
defeat of the home front.
1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to
officially visit to the United States.
1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully
landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California.
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death
by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence
Agency.
1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli
head of state to visit Egypt.
1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being
born with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with
the animal heart.
1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and
Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to
end their arms race.
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company,
announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-
486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The French
government made the company reverse itself two days later.
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American
icebreakers. The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks
in an Arctic ice pack.
1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that
terrorists could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or
aircraft.
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000
points.
1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a
federal correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin
serving a six-month sentence for cocaine possession.
1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned
after the company recorded its highest losses in history.
1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord,
which was designed to unify the country.
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of
defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S.
Congress. Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD
scandal.
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime
Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty.
1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th
National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York
Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest
player to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600
goals by his 575th NHL game.
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile
warhead.
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a
defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The
contract, for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest
defense contract in history.
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where
separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116
hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or
gunshot wounds.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 6 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 541 )
Tuesday, October 25, 2016, 10:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 25
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
California father jailed for 1,503 years
for repeatedly raping his daughter
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 25, in
1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt
over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000
Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the
English.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are
decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy
two percent that get all the publicity.
But then--we elected them.
--- Lily Tomlin (1939 - )
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Noella
I called an old school friend on the telephone and asked him
what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of
ceramics, aluminium, and steel under a constrained
environment".
I was impressed....
On further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes,
pots, and pans, with hot water... Under his wife's
supervision.
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 
______________________________________________________
Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas
in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" he asked the
station attendant.
"All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by them
that has to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered
dump, or by them that's merely enjoying its quaint and
picturesque rustic charms for a short spell ?"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Rene Lopez,
41,
Fresno,
California
California father jailed for 1,503 years
for repeatedly raping his daughter
A man has been given a 1,503-year prison sentence for
repeatedly raping his teenage daughter over a four year
period.
Rene Lopez, 41, was sentenced to the longest-known prison
sentence in Fresno Superior Court history, according to the
Fresno Bee.
A jury in September found Lopez guilty of 186 felony counts
of sexual assault, including dozens of counts of rape of a
minor.
Prosecutors say Lopez’s daughter was first sexually abused by
a family friend but that instead of protecting her, Lopez
turned her into ‘a piece of property.’
They say the victim was raped two to three times a week from
May 2009 to May 2013, when the girl got the courage to leave
him.
In announcing the punishment, Judge Edward Sarkisian Jr. told
Lopez he is a ‘serious danger to society’ and noted that
Lopez had never shown remorse and has blamed his daughter for
his predicament.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Calla
Re: Making icons
Dear Webby,
I need to make a bunch of icons for vision impaired people.
Yes, I know there are tons of icons hidden in Windows and
wherever, but I have to make new ones, mostly with just a
letter or a number on them. What program do you
recommend for that?
Calla
Dear Calla
Icons are just .bmp pictures renamed to .ico
Paint your icons 64 x 64 pixels,
save them as .BMP files, and close the picture.
Then rename them by using the file explorer to .ICO.
Then you can highlight a shortcut, select properties,
chanege Icon and select your just made .ico picture.
There are programs available for making icons, some quite
expensive, but all you really need is any graphics program,
that will let you save files as .BMP.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
At our local funeral home families are given the chance to
chose the music they would like to enter the service to.
One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me
Tender."
The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started
ready for the family to walk in to the service.
Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the
CD player, and the family found themselves walking in to,
"Return to Sender."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making a Mosquito Trap
Because mosquitoes are attracted to the CO2 we breathe out, I
started looking for ideas that used CO2 as the bait for the
mosquito trap. I did think of dry ice but it does dissipate
fairly quickly.
I found a cached link on Google here. It seems to be active
again now. I've rewritten the instructions some and hopefully
it will work as well.
Thanks to the students for their hard work on this project.
I've used some of their photos for illustration.
Supplies:
1 2 liter soda bottle
a sharp knife
black paper
tape
candy thermometer
Take a 2 liter soda bottle. Cut off the top right below where
it starts to narrow for the top, invert and place inside the
lower half.
Make a simple sugar syrup.
Ingredients:
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
2 cups cool water
1 tsp. active dry yeast
Directions:
Bring 1 cup of the water to a boil.
Dissolve the sugar into the boiling water.
Once the sugar is dissolved completely, remove the pan from
the heat. Stir in 2 cups cool water, stir well.
Check the temperature of the syrup to make sure it is no
hotter than 90 degrees F, if hotter, let cool to 90 degrees
F, add 1 tsp. active dry yeast, no need to mix. Put syrup in
the bottom part of the bottle, using the cut off neck piece,
leave in place.
Be sure to seal the two parts of the bottle with the tape.
The fermenting yeast will release carbon dioxide. Put black
paper around the bottle since mosquitoes like dark places and
carbon dioxide. This mosquito trap will then start working.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said,
"You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end
a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other, "that will certainly revolutionize
hockey and wrestling!"
|
| she's either channeling Aretha or had too much sugar - super cute!
|
____________________________________________________
Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: "I can do so much better."
Q: What did he say after he created woman?
A: "OOOPS!!"
And neither God nor man has rested since.
____________________________________________________
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick
Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked
up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye.
"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said finally.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner.
The food starts on the next page."
____________________________________________________
|
|
Great Halloween light show in Mobile, AL.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 25 in
1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt
over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000
Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the
English.
1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States
captured the British vessel Macedonian.
1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the
Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava
when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the
Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40
percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was
the result of confusion and was not given intentionally.
1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was
the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City.
1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
seized power in Russia.
1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was
found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in
prison and fined $100,000.
1951 In Panmunjom peace talks concerning the Korean War
resumed after 63 days.
1954 A U.S. cabinet meeting was televised for the first time.
1955 The microwave oven for home use was introduced by The
Tappan Company.
1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had
been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro-
Western government.
1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was
introduced.
1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic
evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos
were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba.
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and
admit mainland China.
1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations
invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection to
U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist
(pro-Cuban) government.
1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney
that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to
Saudi Arabia.
2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a
family of four separately traded companies (consumer,
business, broadband and wireless).
2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the
remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years
ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as
40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric tons.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 9 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 771 )
How to make desktop icons on W10
Monday, October 24, 2016, 06:39 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 24
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
First Lesbian Bishop Orders Church Crosses Replaced
with Islamic Symbols
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 23, in
1632 Scientist Anthony van Leeuwenhoek was born in Delft,
Holland. He created the first microscope lenses that were
powerful enough to observe single-celled animals.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on
one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in;
first, you get accused of things you never did, and later,
credited for virtues you never had.
--- I. F. Stone (1907 - 1989)
Human beings, who are almost unique in
having the ability to learn from the experience
of others, are also remarkable for their
apparent disinclination to do so.
--- Douglas Adams
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Chris for sending back this one:
(I know, good jokes always come back, but has it been a
year already ?)
Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living in West Virginia out on
a farm up in the hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.
He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know
what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road?
He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him,
"Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't
know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite,
one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them
both
under the outhouse and light them both at the same time.
The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air.
While it's in the air the second one will then go off and
spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your
ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same
spot atop the now empty hole."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and
picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and
one with a long fuse.
He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then
lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into
the outhouse!
Off goes the first stick of dynamite,
shooting the outhouse into the air.
BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading
poop all over the farm.
WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks,
"Ma, are you all right??!!"
As she pulls up her pants, she says...
"Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen.
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
There once was a conservative college in the east coast that
had a standing rule, the heat was to be turned on in the
dormitories when the school went on winter time.
Unfortunately, this year, winter decided to start a bit
earlier. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories
complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing
could be done.
After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the
ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's
dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the
message,
"TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!"
The thermostat was turned up rather hastily.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture
I was trying to park and finally I had to get out to scare
the iguana away becouse he was in the space... he was funny
as he didn’t even care how close the car came, he just knew I
wouldnt hurt him. Kind of cool-I like them
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Eva Brunne,
Bishop
Stockholm,
Sweden
First Lesbian Bishop Orders Church Crosses Replaced
with Islamic Symbols
Here is a clear case of religious suicide. The Bishop of
Stockholm has proposed a church in her diocese (of course it
is not HER church) remove all signs of the cross and put down
markings showing the direction to Mecca for the benefit of
Muslim worshippers.
Eva Brunne, who was made the world’s first openly lesbian
bishop by the church of Sweden in 2009, and has a young son
with her wife and fellow lesbian priest Gunilla Linden, made
the suggestion to make those of other faiths more welcome.
This kind of decision has unexpected consequences. First off,
the first wave of Sharia Islamists are within their rights to
take the lesbian bishop up to the steeple and throw her off.
After all, she is a an Infidel, a woman speaking in public
and she is homosexual…all crimes deserving death. Then they
will burn the church down to celebrate.
The church targeted is the Seamen’s mission church in
Stockholm’s eastern dockyards. The Bishop held a meeting
there this year and challenged the priest to explain what
he’d do if a ship’s crew came into port who weren’t Christian
but wanted to pray.
Calling Muslim guests to the church “angels“, the Bishop
later took to her official blog to explain that removing
Christian symbols from the church and preparing the building
for Muslim prayer doesn’t make a priest any less a defender
of the faith. Rather, to do any less would make one “stingy
towards people of other faiths”.
The bishop insisted this wasn’t an issue, after all airports
and hospitals already had multi-faith prayer rooms, and
converting the dockyard church would only bring it up to
speed. Regardless, the announcement has aroused protest.
Father Patrik Pettersson, one of the priests in her diocese
and active in the same parish as the Seaman’s mission church
has hit back in a blog of his own, complaining there is no
way you could equate a consecrated church with a prayer room,
remarking “I should have thought a bishop would be able to
tell the difference”.
The actual priest at the Seaman’s mission was left nonplussed
by the comments of the Bishop when contacted by Dagen.se for
comment.
As an independent mission the church operates outside of the
diocese, and so the bishop has no authority there, a fact
reflected by the response of the church director who said the
bishop’s words were her business alone.
When asked whether she would be removing the cross from her
church, Kiki Wetterberg responded: “I have no problem with
Muslim or Hindu sailors coming here and praying. But I
believe that we are a Christian church, so we keep the
symbols. If I visit a mosque I do not ask them to take down
their symbols. It’s my choice to go in there”.
The upper echelons of the Church of Sweden, much like other
national churches across Europe, seem to be fully invested in
the diversity mission. A parish church in multicultural
paradise Malmö declared it would be holding a service in
solidarity with the local Muslim community as a protest
against a march by anti-Islamisation movement PEGIDA in the
city.
The priest responsible told media: “During the protest, the
Swedish Church is going to hold a service where we express
joy for our city and our Muslim friends.
“There is strong support for diverse cultures in Malmö and it
is important that the church is there to support that”.
Malmö is Sweden’s gateway to Europe, and is the main point of
ingress to the Nordic nations for the thousands of migrants
travelling through Europe from Africa and the East who have
decided to make it home.
Source: Breitbart
As a major bottleneck into the region, with a single bridge
and ferry route connecting the country to the rest of Europe,
the arrival of these migrants has heralded an unprecedented
level of criminality in the city. Describing the ‘no-go’
zones that have sprung up around the city and calling for
greater border controls to get criminal migration under
control, Chief Superintendent Torsten Elofsson said:
“Years ago you could go with two officers, no problem. Now
you have to send four officers and two cars – if the fire
brigade want to go, they have to take a police escort. They
throw stones and try to stop the fireman from putting out
fires.
“They sabotage the police cars. You can’t leave them
unguarded – when you come back to it you find the windows
smashed and the tyres deflated. It isn’t quite a no-go zone,
but we have had to develop special routines to go there”.
Of course the bishop is a liberal, so she never sees the
problems.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Carol
Re: Make icons on W10
Dear Webby,
Would you tell me how to make icons on my desktop? It does
not work the same way with 10 as it did with previous
versions. Thanks, Carol
Dear Carol
I have so far avoided W10,
but according to the instructions the procedure is the same.
Use the file explorer to find the program that you want an
icon for,
right-click on its ".exe" file and select
Send To > Desktop (Create shortcut).
You will see that its shortcut has been created on your
Windows desktop.
If you have a stash of better icons, right-click that icon,
Properties,
Change Icon,
and browse to the one, that you want.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A Texan, a Scot and a Californian were in a terrible car
accident. They were all brought to the same emergency
room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as
they were about to put the toe tag on the Texan, he stirred
and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses
present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the Texan, "I remember the crash, and then
there was a beautiful light, and then the Californian and the
Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young
to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return
to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him
the $50, and the next thing I knew was back here."
"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what
happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the Texan, "the Scot was
haggling over the price and the Californian was waiting for
the government to pay his."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Personalized Serving Tray
By Sandy [55 Posts, 45 Comments]
Total Time: 8 hours depending on how long the urethane needs
to dry
Yield: 1
Supplies:
1 wooden tray
stain - Minwax penetrating stain
2 latex gloves to protect your hands
saying - I used one from the Dollar store
wood glue - Titebond III
4 wood beads, marbles or whatever you choose for the bottom
Minwax spar urethane spray finish
Steps:
I sanded the wood tray; just to be sure there were no rough
edges.
Stain the tray making sure to use the gloves! Let the stain
dry completely before moving on to the next step. This might
take overnight, depending on what time of day you get
started.
Choose the placement of your message. Apply the saying.
I used a urethane spray finish over the entire tray, (top,
sides, and bottom). Again, this will need to dry before going
to the next step.
I used Titebond III wood glue to affix the wood beads to the
bottom of the tray.
You are now ready to enjoy or give as a gift.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
One night a father was helping his son with his homework.
The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?".
Without any hesitation, the little boy replied "Broccoli!"
|
| Crankin' Up the 3-String Shovel Guitar!
|
____________________________________________________
Test answers:
- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects
all duly constipated authorities.
- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from
synners.
- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved
to Utah.
- A census taker is man who goes from house to house
and increases the population.
____________________________________________________
Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone
operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call
from a man asking the exact time.
One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him
why the regularity.
"I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every
day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to
get the exact time."
The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said.
"All these years we've been setting our clock by your
whistle.
____________________________________________________
|
|
It's Fall y'all!
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 24 in
1632 Scientist Anthony van Leeuwenhoek was born in Delft,
Holland. He created the first microscope lenses that were
powerful enough to observe single-celled animals.
1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the
Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years
War.
1795 The country of Poland was again divided up between
Austria, Prussia, and Russia.
1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous
friction safety match.
1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent
when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a
telegram to U.S. President Lincoln.
1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to
go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years
old.
1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million
shares on the stock market. The day is known as "Black
Tuesday."
1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened
for traffic between New York and New Jersey.
1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first
time in Wilmington, DE.
1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under
the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938.
1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less
than a month after the end of World War II.
1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It was
in a speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War
Investigating Committee.
1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was
nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and
foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960.
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces
went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation
for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S.
blockade of Cuba officially began on this day.
1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 69-
carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton presented
the ring to Taylor several days later.
1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian
was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the
trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the attack
on the Israeli jetliner.
1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to
win the World Series.
2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation
that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all
of a person's telephone conversation and track people's use
of the Internet.
2001 The U.S. stamp "United We Stand" was dedicated.
2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered
orbit around Mars.
2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the
release of an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney
content.
2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde
flight landed.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 494 )
Sunday, October 23, 2016, 06:25 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 23
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Ohio man jailed after donating bag to charity with
pictures of him raping toddler inside
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 23, in
1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to
vote with a march in New York City, NY.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
People who have what they want are fond of telling people
who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
--- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
"What did Father say when he learned you're pregnant?"
asked Little Mary's mother.
Little Mary answered, "Should I leave out the profanity?"
"Yes, of course!" Mary's mom replied.
"Nothing."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night.
You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for
the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect woman (or man) you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that
there could only be one passenger in your car. Think before
you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma
that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die,
and thus you should save her first; or you could take the
old friend because he once saved your life, and this would
be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream
lover again.
Which one would you offer a ride ?
Here is what I would do:
I would give the car keys to my old friend, so that he can
warm up while he takes the old lady to the hospital.
And I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the
woman of my dreams, and hope the bus is stuck in the
snow somehwere."
______________________________________________________
Cascade Mountain in Banff from FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Gary Sovie,
49,
Columbus,
Ohio
Ohio man jailed after donating bag to charity with
pictures of him raping toddler inside
A man who donated a bag to charity that contained photos of
him raping a toddler has been jailed for 17 years.
Gary Sovie, 49, had given a tote bag of belongings into a
second-hand store in Columbus, Ohio, which also contained the
photographs.
A Salvation Army worker found 32 photos, some showing a naked
young girl and others showing the man sexually assaulting the
child. It’s believed the Polaroids date as far back as 1999.
The bag was traced back to Sovie by the authorities because,
as well as the photos, it also contained some of his post and
receipts.
When he was arrested, Sovie told officers that he’s a ‘very
sick person’.
The victim’s mother told the court that the photos were taken
when her daughter was between 16 and 18 months old.
She also told local station WBNS-TV that her daughter ‘never
suspected this. She has no memory. She has no recollection of
this incident.
‘I was beside myself. This was my child. This was my whole
world’.
Sovie pleaded guilty to rape and pandering sexually
orientated matter involving a minor.
He was sentenced to 17 years in prison, and fined $35,000
(£28,600) as well as court costs. He has also been placed on
the sex offenders’ register.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Gina
Re: Old icons
Dear Webby,
I have a lot of old icons which at one time were in frequent
enough use so that I shortened the title under them. But
now I got too many of those No-Name icons. What is the
easiest way to find out what each of them is about, without
starting up what they stand for ?
Thanks,
Gina
Dear Gina
click on an icon to highlight it, hold down the ALT key and
double-click it. That gives you all the info you might want
and probably alot more.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape
was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
So that he would not be captured, he ran through fields
and traveled through back woods until he reached his wife's
house just shortly after the police stake-out departed.
When he reached the house, he rang the bell, his
wife opened the door and screamed,
"You lousy bum! Where and with whom have you been?
You escaped two days ago!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Labels from Glass Jars
By lalala... [774 Posts, 103 Comments]
In my quest to reclaim a Mason jar (specifically Classico
pasta sauce jars) I needed to soak off the labels. I
submerged the jars in hot water and let them sit until the
paper was easy to pull off. The best part with the Classico
jars is that the glue they use is also water soluble! So I
was able to remove the glue with hot soapy water. With other
jar, I removed the glue with Goo Gone and a paper towel. I
was amazed at how well this worked!
Steam from a regular steam iron works well and very fast with
any label I have ever come across.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said,
"Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons."
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.
You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons.
They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Not really," Willie said, "If nobody ain't got no crayons,
then what happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't not
got?"
|
| cat says no more to bath |
____________________________________________________
Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental
hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and
ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients,
"I see by your chart that you've been recommended for
dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once
you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies,
"Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's
still a good field, good money there.
"But on the other hand, I thought I might go back to college
and study art history, which I've grown interested in
lately,
or maybe website design."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like
intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time,
I can continue being a teapot and post stuff to Yahoo
groups."
____________________________________________________
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription
on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the
Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington
Biological Survey, abbreviated:
Wash. Biol. Surv.
until the agency received the following letter from an
Arkansas camper:
"Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think
it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the
leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.
____________________________________________________
|
|
If I could paint like this I would spend all my time painting!
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 23 in
1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Gen.
Samuel R. Curtis defeated the Confederate forces in Missouri
that were under Gen. Stirling Price.
1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a public
solo airplane flight in the United States.
1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote
with a march in New York City, NY.
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great
Depression.
1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive
against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began.
1946 The United Nations General Assembly convened in New York
for the first time.
1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet
occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary
and eventually suppress the uprising.
1956 NBC broadcasted the first videotape recording. The tape
of Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in the U.S.
1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded
the Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the
honor due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the
award for writing "Dr. Zhivago".
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval
"quarantine" of Cuba was approved by the Council of the
Organization of American States (OAS).
1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began
overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon."
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat
Communist China.
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the
subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair.
1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility
when they exchanged treaty ratifications.
1985 U.S. President Reagan arrived in New York to address the
U.N. General Assembly.
1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years
of Soviet rule.
1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese
emperor to stand on Chinese soil.
1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill
Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn
Bosnia.
1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and
Palestinian Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a
land-for-peace West Bank accord.
1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II.
2000 Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) and
Amblin Entertainment announced an unprecedented and exclusive
three-year worldwide merchandising program with Toys "R" Us,
Inc. The deal was for the rights to exclusive "E.T. The
Extra-Terrestrial" merchandise starting in fall 2001. The
film was scheduled for re-release in the spring of 2002.
2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In
2010, it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to
Mars.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 6 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 434 )
What resolution for pictures?
Saturday, October 22, 2016, 06:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 22
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh Women vandalize home with duct tape, animal feces
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 22, in
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.
--- Janet Long
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Darn...that was fun."
--- Cato
Integrity is doing the right thing,
even if nobody is watching.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the
artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said.
"It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he
will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy
looking for the jewelry."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said, "You think you have family
problems? I'm from West Virginia. Tings get a lot more
complicated there.
A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up
daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my
stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father
became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law
of her father-in-law.
"Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's
son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which
made him my wife's grandson. That made me the
grandfather of my half-brother.
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the
half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the
grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of
my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife. I'm my
stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's
aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm my own
grandfather!
"And you think you have family problems!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Nikki Rowena Sismanidis, 18,
Jasmine Marie Suarez, 19,
Gainesville,
Floriduh
Floriduh Women vandalize home with duct tape, animal feces
Two Gainesville women were arrested Saturday afternoon after
police said they broke into the home of an acquaintance and
vandalized the bedroom using duct tape and animal feces,
according to a Gainesville Police Department report.
Police said Nikki Rowena Sismanidis, 18, and Jasmine Marie
Suarez, 19, both of whom reside at 1000 SW 62nd Blvd.,
allegedly broke into the Southwest Ninth Way home of a common
friend.
Once inside, the pair allegedly placed strips of duct tape on
the victim’s bedroom walls, which caused damage to the
painted walls when later removed, the report said. Also, a
large portion of one wall was covered in a pattern using duct
tape that spelled out an expletive and police said the pair
planted animal feces on the victim's bed.
The victim told police that Sismanidis has become hostile in
the past when she chooses not to hang out with her, and on
the previous day, the victim did not respond to texts from
Sismanidis asking the victim to hang out.
According to the report, both Sismanidis and Suarez admitted
their involvement in the burglary and vandalism during a
phone conversation with the victim and they arrived during
the officers on-scene investigation and admitted their
involvement to police.
Both Sismanidis and Suarez were arrested and charged with
burglary and criminal mischief.
They were taken to the Alachua County jail, where they were
released Sunday on their own recognizance.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Doris
Re: Printer resolution
Dear Webby,
What is the best dots per inch resolution for
saving pictures in?
Doris
Dear Doris
Save an original in the highest resolution possible.
If disk space is limited, you can save cropped or edited
versions at lower resolutions, but save the original!
If a picture is for the net, 72 DPI is enough, though
sometimes you can fake a higher resolution by for example
saving a picture at a larger size and then forcing the
browser to recalculate to a smaller size. It slows down the
page, but occasionally makes a picture look sharper.
When it comes to printing, nowadays the sharpness is set
during the page set-up. If you select inkm or toner saving
mode, the picture will not be as clear and sharp as when you
select Best Quality.
Toner Saving mode is "Good enough for Government work". If
you have to scan anything to send to the governement, or even
a prescription to fax to Costco, the lowest quality is good
enough. It is still quite readable.
To hang it on the wall, use highest quality.
With today's printers, don't worry about dots per inch.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Mummy Pizzas
By lalala... [775 Posts, 103 Comments]
These tasty pizzas are really easy to make and easy to
customize for picky eaters. Just about any topping can be
layered underneath the cheese.
Ingredients:
English muffins
string cheese
mini pepperoni
spaghetti sauce
black olives, sliced
additional toppings, optional
Steps:
Split the English muffins in half and arrange them on a
baking sheet. Then spread spaghetti sauce onto each muffin.
Add mini pepperoni to the muffins.
Then add olive slices.
Pull apart the string cheese into strips and lay them onto
the muffins, criss crossing the strings of cheese.
Add two olive slices to each pizza and put a mini pepperoni
in the center for the eyes. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10-12
minutes, or until cheese is melted.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the
night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words
all evening."
Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy
that."
"Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying
'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'"
|
| They had a noise complaint from the neighbors |
____________________________________________________
Settings WILL be changed!
____________________________________________________
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really
worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice
home and good food. My mom spends the whole day
cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about?
Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid says, "What if they escape?"
____________________________________________________
|
|
Beautiful ethereal paintings on fallen leaves.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 22 in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It
later became known as Princeton University.
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first
constitutionally elected president of the Republic of Texas.
1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment"
among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected
to come to an end according to the followers of William
Miller.
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment
with a high-resistance carbon filament.
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began
withdrawing money from many New York banks.
1939 The first televised pro football game was telecast from
New York. Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 23-14.
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).
1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to
inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces
to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the
discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island.
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The
spacecraft had orbited the Earth 163 times.
1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was
discharged after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His
tombstone reads " "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the
military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a
discharge for loving one."
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi,
installed in Iran by the US but later abandoned, was allowed
into the U.S. for medical treatment.
1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization
was decertified by the federal government for its strike the
previous August.
1983 At the Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia, an armed
man crashed a truck through front gates and demanded to speak
with U.S. President Ronald Reagan.
1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986
into law.
1998 Pakistan's carpet weaving industry announced that they
would begin to phase out child labor.
1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in
which it defied Western definitions of civil liberties.
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in
July.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications
downloaded.
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days)
for the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had
been continously inhabited since November 2, 2000.
2014 The iPad Air 2 was released in the U.S.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 5 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 390 )
Friday, October 21, 2016, 08:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 21
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
58-year-old woman beats rapist with crowbar,
knocks him unconscious
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words
per minute on a manual typewriter.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side --
I've noticed those with the most opinions often have
the fewest facts.
--- Bethania McKenstry
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A guy goes to the psychiatrist. "Doctor," says the guy, "I
feel as if I'm two different people! Two totally different
personalities. Do you think I need help? Can you help me?
Am I doing the right thing seeing a psychiatrist?"
"Whoah! Whoah! Whoah!" says the doc.
"Please, one at a time."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
>From Edison
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station,
our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you worthless
morons fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained
standing at attention.
The Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with
me, and then raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said,
"Sure were a lot of 'em, huh sir?"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Dorval Grice,
30,
Chicago,
Illinois
58-year-old woman beats rapist with crowbar, knocks
him unconscious
A 58-year-old woman was able to defend herself during a
sexual assault by beating her attacker with a crowbar and
knocking him unconscious.
Dorval Grice, the woman’s longtime neighbor, has been charged
with home invasion and aggravated criminal sexual assault.
Prosecutors said the woman was sleeping in her Chicago home
Monday when Grice, 30, broke in through an unlatched living
room window, according to DNAinfo
The woman woke up to Grice pulling her hair and demanding
sex.
Prosecutors said when the woman refused his demands, he
punched her in the head several times, pulled off her
underwear and forced himself on her.
The woman was able to break free and beat Grice in the head
with a mug she was able to grab from her nightstand.
She then reached for a crowbar that she keeps nearby for
protection and beat him unconscious, according to
prosecutors.
The woman called 911, and police arrived to find her covered
in blood. She was taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation.
Grice is being held on $250,000 bail.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Robert
Re: Mailwasher on cell phone
Dear Webby,
does mailwasher have version to work with a cell phone
(Android)?
Robert
Dear Robert
Yes, sure. They even have an app for Android.
Basically, MailWasher works on the server level, and cleans
the mail up there, without downloading more than the header.
With your widdle Android Pokemon-Chaser that is quite
important!
MailWasher users have enjoyed that benefit since the mid
90's.
We don't download the crap and THEN wash it.
We let MailWasher wash it on the server.
You get a safe digest of what is up on the server,
with anything suspicious already marked for deleting.
It exposes hidden, underlying addreses and helps you make
quick decisions.
You can additionally make filters to override all that
helpfulness. For example, if aunt Martha often mixes up
Vinegar and the stuff mentioned in spam, you can mark her as
a Friend, or even make a filter to safeguard her entire
family.
You can use all the regular expressions in filters, like
and, and not, and not but if, and-or, etc.
And you do it all with pull-down selectors. It is quite
civilized and has been around for about 20 years now.
Mailwasher also has a recycle bin. You can rescue deleted
mails from there.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
From Bella, a classic I have not printed for years:
The fragrance department of a major New York City store where
I shop is always pushing the latest scents. Attractive models
move about the floor offering to spray customers with the
newest bouquet.
One day, outside the store's restaurant, a model sprayed two
women who had just finished their lunch. When one woman com-
mented that the perfume was too strong, the model replied,
"The fragrance will be softer once it dries and the alcohol
wears off."
"See!" her friend chided. "I told you not to have that second
drink."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Choosing Storage Containers
By ShirleyE [107 Posts, 66 Comments]
I am a naturally untidy and disorganised person and this one
tip makes a huge difference to the state of my cupboards
shelves and drawers: Never impulse buy a storage container,
whether it's for food, finances, crafts, shoes, nuts and
bolts or toys.
You know how it is, you finally decide it's about time you
sorted out your mess, so with great enthusiasm you hit the
shops and come home with cute stylish, neat or innovative
storage solutions only to find they don't fit in the cupboard
or on the shelf
Take time to measure your spaces, write down the measurements
and take them with you to the store together with a tape
measure. Buy only containers that are going to fit the space
rather than how they look and your surroundings will be 10
times more manageable and easier to keep tidy once you are
sorted.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist
Church. For those of you who don't know, the Baptists
practice total body immersion to baptize a person.
Luckily I even knew a minister in that faith, since I was
dating his daughter and it was her idea to start out with.
I asked him if he would consider performing the service.
He paused a minute or two, gave me a long thoughtful look
and said, "Well, if you're serious about this, a dipping just
won't do it for you. We'll have to find a place to anchor
you overnight."
|
| car soccer game |
____________________________________________________
The teller had just been robbed for the third time by the
same man, and was being asked by a police officer if she had
noticed anything specific about the criminal.
"Well, yes," said the teller. "He appears to be better
dressed each time."
____________________________________________________
Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss
his accounts.
"Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated.
"Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue."
"Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of
control."
"Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than
you have ?" asked the banker.
"Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because I'd
rather argue with you than with her."
____________________________________________________
|
|
What an imagination! Realistic pumpkin carvings.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 21 in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was
launched in Boston's harbor.
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain.
The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet.
1849 The first tattooed man, James F. O’Connell, was put on
exhibition at the Franklin Theatre in New York City, NY.
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris.
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp.
It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out.
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War
I near Nancy, France.
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per
minute on a manual typewriter.
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the
Electric Show in New York City, NY.
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined
29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations.
1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was
captured by U.S. troops.
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time.
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet.
1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New
York. The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in
opposition to the Vietnam War.
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to
Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there.
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was
released after nearly five years of being imprisoned.
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring
North Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to
inspections.
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial
birth abortions.
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's
offer of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the
communist nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 572 )
When will spam laws start to work?
Thursday, October 20, 2016, 11:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 20
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man robs salesman he knows at gunpoint,
sends apology text.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI. She was as influential on Europe as Queen
Victoria was on England.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists
principally in dealing with men.
--- Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924)
This country has come to feel the same when Congress
is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A mother traveled 2,000 miles to be with her only son on the
day he was to receive his Air Force wings and also get
married.
"It was wonderful," she said later. "It isn't every day that
a mother watches her son receive his wings in the morning
and have them clipped in the evening."
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
A few years ago Bob went to visit his brother who was
stationed in Germany. He assumed that enough Germans would
speak English so that he could at least get around. But he
found that many people spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched Bob's
ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures
like a windmill. Bob just nodded from time to time to show
him that he was interested.
When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the
compartment leaned forward and asked Bob if he spoke German.
"No," he confessed.
"Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid
when he told you that you were on the wrong train going in
the wrong direction."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Romelson Faustin,
20,
Fort Myers,
Floriduh
Florida man robs salesman he knows at gunpoint,
sends apology text.
A Florida man was arrested on Wednesday after deputies said
he robbed a car salesman at gunpoint and texted him about 45
minutes later with an apology.
Romelson Faustin, 20, entered a Fort Myers-area car
dealership on Wednesday with another man and held a gun at
one of the salesmen, demanding his money, WINK reports. The
salesman, Anthony Spinella, said he was familiar with Faustin
as he had been making payments toward a car with the
dealership since September.
Police: Fla. man breaks grandma's hand over video game
Spinella told WINK that after being robbed by Faustin, he
received a text from the 20-year-old that said “Bro, I was on
Mollies, I’m sorry.” “He just said give me the money that’s
in your pockets,” Spinella said. “So then he texted me about
an hour — 45 minutes later.”
Deputies said the man with Faustin got away with $400 in cash
and was not in the car when authorities arrested Faustin
later on Wednesday. He now faces felony charges of robbery
with a firearm and possession of cocaine.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Wilhelm
Re: Spam laws
Dear Webby,
When are those new spam laws going to start working ?
Since they became law, the spam in my mail has increased
20% ? I am gong NUTS!
Wilhelm
Dear Wilhelm
You ARE nuts if you believe those laws will help you. They
just legalize spam and protect the Senators and other
spammers.
Just get Mailwasher from the link on the side. Go ahead
and get the PRO version. After that, slowly tune it
by making filters against stuff that shows up frequently.
Then enjoy dumping hundreds of spams every morning.
Unread, hidden. You just see in the status line a cheery
message like "823 emails hidden from list".
Hit PROCESS or F6, and they have all gone to hell,
unread.
A nice way to start the day!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail
when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy woman entered. She
was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away
from her.
The woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked
directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for
being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do
anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no
matter how kinky, and in a more satisfying way than anybody
has ever done it for you before,
for $100 on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want
me to do in just three words."
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his
wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20
bills,
which he pressed into the young woman's hand.
He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said,
"Paint... my... house."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Inexpensive Stepping Stones
....
By Helmut [9 Posts, 147 Comments]
There is a much easier way to do that. Get a bag of ordinary
ready-mix concrete and some chicken mesh.
Peel the lawn where you want a step, round, heart shaped,
like a Sasquatch imprint, whatever, and hammer the dirt below
it nice and hard. Pour some ready mix into the hole. Use a
planter trowel or mini shovel to mix it with some water, poke
the chickenmesh down below the surface, agitate the mess a
bit and smooth it.
Yes, mix it right in the hole, no need for dirtying a
separate mixing container!
If you want, you can add marble or brick planter topping, and
pat it in. As a kid in the 50's I wrote the date into one
with small white pebbles.
After an hour use a brush or broom and a bit of water to
clean the topping, or to add a bit of texture to the
concrete. Shield it from the sun with cardboard or scrap wood
for a day or two.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
This one is from the days when Windows came on a
stack of floppies instead of pre-installed at the factory in
China.
A polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows
installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to
install them on my home computer."
Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police,"
so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't
initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down.
'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize
it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks
appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work,
and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format
them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole
office
Did I do something wrong?"
____________________________________________________
The young man was contrite as he confessed to his steady
girl that he was seeing a therapist.
"That's nothing." she replied. "I'm seeing a therapist,
two engineers, a plumber and an electrician."
____________________________________________________
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy
chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!"
Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct
two special services last night, three today, and give a
total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?"
"Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them!"
____________________________________________________
|
|
I wouldn't mind a long stay in this hotel surrounded by such beautiful scenery.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 20 in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI.
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of
America’s colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all
citizens of the colonies "discountenance and discourage all
horse racing and all kinds of gaming, cock fighting,
exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions
and entertainment." Buncha Fuddy-Duddies!
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase.
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary
between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel.
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War
for Independence.
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman
Phineus T. (P.T.) Barnum.
1892 The city of Chicago dedicated the World's Columbian
Exposition.
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning
a dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District
of Alaska.
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series
game for the first time.
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that
took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist
Headquarters.
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve
in Germany.
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines.
1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and
Dubrovnik were liberated.
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American
Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist
influence within the motion picture industry.
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in
Kenya.
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis.
1984 The U.S. State Department reduced the number of
Americans assigned to the U.S. embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to
limit the violence in their programs.
1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched.
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that
banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific.
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety
devices and survived. He was charged with illegally
performing a stunt.
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 7 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 670 )
Is ScanGuard safe to download?
Wednesday, October 19, 2016, 09:51 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 19
Thanks Donnie!!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Pennsylvania youth pastor demands divorce after
raping and impregnating 15-year-old girl
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 18, in
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their retreat
out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating Russian
army. The Russians burned everything, leaving nothing for
looting and feeding the French.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more
bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which
states that this has already happened.
--- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never
treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
--- Quentin Crisp
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
NEW PASTA DIET
Just walk pasta bakery without stopping.
Walk pasta candy store without stopping.
Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping.
Walk pasta pizza joint without stopping.
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and
thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (from a large family )
answered, "Unfortunately that is 'Thou shall not kill.' "
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Wesley Ryan Blackburn,
35,
New Paris,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania youth pastor demands divorce after
raping and impregnating 15-year-old girl
A Pennsylvania youth pastor demanded a divorce after his wife
confronted him about raping and impregnating a teenage girl
he met through church.
Wesley Ryan Blackburn, who served until last week as youth
pastor at Faith Brethren Bible Church in New Paris, was
charged with 84 felony counts of statutory sexual assault, 84
misdemeanor counts of indecent assault and one felony count
of corruption of minors, reported The Tribune-Democrat.
The 35-year-old Blackburn, a father of five, revealed his
relationship with the girl Oct. 5 and told his wife he no
longer loved her and wanted a divorce.
Blackburn’s wife told church pastor James Espenshade the
following morning that her husband had engaged in sexual
activity with a 15-year-old member of his youth group and
gotten the teen pregnant.
Espenshade and church deacons confronted Blackburn, who
refused to speak to them — so they immediately fired the
youth pastor and called police.
“We didn’t even care what he had to say,” Espenshade said.
“We don’t tolerate this kind of stuff — it’s inappropriate,
it’s reprehensible. There was never a discussion of anything
else. We had to do what was right.”
A state trooper went to Blackburn’s office, where he found
the man packing up his belongings, and interviewed him about
the case.
Blackburn said he met the girl in 2009, when he first came to
the church, but they grew closer after she joined his youth
group in 2014, when she was 13 or 14 years old.
He said the relationship became sexual in March, and
investigators said he admitted to impregnating the girl this
year.
State troopers arrested Blackburn at that point.
Blackburn’s wife said she refused to sign divorce papers
presented by her husband.
The former youth pastor remains held on $200,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Carol
Re: Is ScanGuard safe to download?
Dear Webby,
Is ScanGuard safe to download?
Thanks.
Carol
Dear Carol
Probably not very dangerous,
but absolutely not necessary.
Since you have McAfee and Malwarebytes, then you are
already fully protected.
Even just the Windows Firewall and Windows Defender will give
you as much or more protection than ScanGuard.
So far there are no legitimate positive reviews, and nobody
except ScanGuard says it is necessary.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
The Sunday School teacher asked her students to draw a
picture of their favorite Old Testament story, and as she
moved around the class, she saw there were many wonderful
drawings being done.
Then she came across Little Johnny who had drawn a old
man driving an old car. In the back seat, there were two
passengers, both scantily dressed.
"It's a lovely picture," said the teacher, "but which story
does it tell?"
Little Johnny seemed surprised at the question. "Well," he
said "that's a Plymoth Fury like Uncle Ted's got up on blocks
in his yard. And it says in the Bible that God drove Adam and
Eve out of the paradise in a Fury!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Stainless Steel Cookware
Judy Pariser S.
I got this terrific stainless steel whistling tea kettle at
the church thrift shop yesterday for $2 (half price sale.) It
was full of grease and dirt. The black handle had some white
residue on it. I figured for $2 I could take a chance and
see how the steel part cleaned up with a soap-filled pad. I
assumed the handle would always be stained, but I could live
with it.
The lady working there told me to use a Magic Eraser instead
of steel wool to clean it. I use the knock-offs from the
dollar store. Within 2 minutes the entire kettle, including
the bottom and handle, looked like new, and I only used half
of one pad.
I wish I had taken before pictures, but you can see the
beautiful after results.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large
sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order!
When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts
on rye.
She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen
where all hell breaks loose!
The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen.
He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills
down on it and says, "You got me this time buddy,
but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years
we've been out of rye bread!"
|
| Motor Mania
|
____________________________________________________
The local boat dealer has a beautiful boat in the front lot.
On it is a sign that reads: "Your wife called.
She said to buy whatever you want!"
____________________________________________________
>From Victoria
After living in our house for four years, we were moving out
of state. My husband had backed the U-Haul truck up to our
garage door so that we could start loading all of the boxes.
Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn
carrying a plate full of muffins.
"Isn't that thoughtful," my husband said to me. "They must
have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff."
The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed,
"Welcome to the neighborhood!"
____________________________________________________
|
|
People are AWESOME for the month of September 2016.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 19 in
1765 In the U.S., The Stamp Act Congress met and drew up a
declaration of rights and liberties.
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to
U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It was
to be the last major battle of the American Revolutionary
War.
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their retreat
out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating Russian
army. The Russians burned everything, leaving nothing for
looting and feeding the French.
1814 In Baltimore, MD, the first documented performance of
"The Defence of Fort McHenry" with music took place at the
Holliday Street Theatre. The work was later published under
the title "The Star-Spangled Banner."
1914 In the U.S. government owned vehicles were first used to
pick up mail in Washington, DC.
1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the
president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts of
Mexico except where Carranza was in control.
1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by
the Berlin Organization Committee.
1943 The Moscow Conference of Foreign Ministers began in
Russia during World War II. Delegates from the U.S.S.R.,
Great Britain, the U.S., and China met to discuss war aims
and cooperation between the nations.
1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be
allowed into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service
(WAVES).
1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean
capital of Pyongyang.
1951 U.S. President Truman signed an act officially ending
the state of war with Germany.
1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba
covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain
food products in retaliation for Cuba nationalizing all
foreign owned plantations and companies.
1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam
War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs."
1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City.
1987 The Dow Jones industrial average dropped 508 points. It
was the worst one-day percentage decline, 22.6%, in history.
1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional
amendment that barred the desecration of the American flag.
1993 Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of
Pakistan.
1998 In Washington, DC, Microsoft went on trial to defend
against an antitrust case.
1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing
license back after he had lost it for biting Evander
Holyfield's ear during a fight.
2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear
plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks
of the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days.
Blaine had entered the box on September 5.
2009 The international version of Amazon's Kindle 2 was
released.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 3 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 764 )
Tuesday, October 18, 2016, 10:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 18
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Four black Alabama men arrested in attack on
white teen who said 'Blue lives matter'
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 18, in
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
--- Doctor Who
"Success comes in cans, failure in can'ts."
--- Socratex
"He who seeks a friend without fault remains without."
--- Old Turkish Proverb
"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."
--- Scottish Proverb
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist.
When the pharmacist came out, the man asked if he could
give him a cure for the hiccups.
The pharmacist immediately reached out and slapped him
across the face.
"What'd you do that for?" the man asked.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"
"No," the man replied, "but if you look out that window,...
do you see that sumo wrestler shaking that telephone
pole?
That's my wife with the hickups. Do you want me to call
her to come in?"
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking. There
was a thick and heavy snow storm and a foot of snow on
top of the icy hardpack that had covered the parking lot
when they had arrived earlier.
They jumped into the icy car and started it up. Suddenly
they were in a hurry to get home and the driver floored the
accelerator.
After a couple of minutes in the thick snow storm, just as
the car heater started to blow warm air, an old man
appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.
The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's an
old ghost's face there!"
The driver stomped down the accelerator even harder, but
the old man's face stayed in the window.
The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared
out of his wits, yelled, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled,
"Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in
terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing
again.
The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't
worry; the speedometer says we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and
the old man's face reappeared in the heavy blizzard.
"There he is again," the passenger yelled.
He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.
The passenger threw a lighter out the window, screaming
at the driver: "Step on it!"
The speedometer showed about 100 miles an hour now.
They were trying to forget what they had just seen and heard,
when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the
window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"
The old man gently replied, "Do you guys want some help
getting off that icy patch?"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Bobby Brown,
La Noah Ealy Jr.,
Daveon Nix,
Quartez Walker.
Four Alabama men arrested in attack on teen who said
'Blue lives matter'
Four black men face assault charges in connection with the
beating of a white Alabama high school student who had posted
pro-police comments online, police confirmed Wednesday.
The men, all former Sylacauga High School students, were
arrested Tuesday after the Sept. 30 attack against 17-year-
old Brian Ogle, Sylacauga Police Chief Kelley Johnson told
reporters. Police have said the attack may have been racially
motivated.
Ogle's mother, Brandi Allen, says her son responded to
students wearing Black Lives Matter T-shirts at his school
with "Blue lives matter," a defense of police officers.
Officers found him bleeding on the ground after a homecoming
football game.
He was hospitalized with serious head injuries.
Twenty-year-old Quartez Walker and 19-year-old Bobby Brown
were arrested at Stillman College. Eighteen-year-old La Noah
Ealy, Jr. was arrested at Auburn University in Montgomery.
Twenty-year-old Daveon Nix was arrested in Sylacauga.
Nix is the son of Sylacauga District 2 City Councilwoman-
elect Tiffany Nix, The Daily Home reported.
"Instead of us planning for his 18th birthday, we're here.
Why? Because he made a statement that he backs the blue? I'm
still trying to understand how someone, no matter the color
of their skin, can do this to another human being," Allen
said as her son recovered in the hospital. "I don't wish any
harm on anyone's child. I would like for them to have to look
at my child right now. I don't want any other mother to have
to go through what I went through these past few days."
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Morris B
Re: Re-use CD's ?
Dear Webby,
We moved into the former office of a business that has closed
down and we found boxes and boxes of used back-up CD's.
So, we called the people who had been here. They said they
were out of business and didn't care who knew what was on
the CD's and that we were welcome to re-use them.
Is it safe to re-use CD's ?
Thanks,
Morris B
Dear Morris
Yes, sure, especially with back-up CD's that have had very
little use. Just erase them with your CD burner and use
them like new ones. If they are really old, you might get
only a couple of safe erases and reburns, but with the newer
CDs you can get many re-uses out of them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife
suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing
diapers. "I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled.
"Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reviving Tired Stiff Paintbrushes
By ahorrasi [18 Posts, 13 Comments]
Total Time: 1 hour to 24 hours
Source: I had at one point purchased a pricey 'brush
restorer' fluid but then I realized the same main ingredient
was the same as the one found in common nail polish remover.
Supplies:
dirty, old, tired brushes
nail polish remover
soap
paint thinner/turpentine/turpatine, etc. if needed (only
relevant for oil based paints)
Steps:
To restore brushes ruined by dry acrylics, just soak them in
nail polish remover for 24 hours and you will be amazed at
the results.
To fix brushes damaged by oil paints, only soak for an hour
at most; for most stiffness due to not properly cleaning oil
brushes, just a 20 minute soak will be enough.
It is important not to leave the brushes in the nail polish
solution for too long because the acetone will quickly wear
away the brush bristle and make the brush frayed, which you
do not want! So, especially if you have expensive brushes,
test them frequently and pull them out of the solution as
soon as you feel the stiffness go away.
After you have soaked the brushes in the solution and felt
their flexibility return, wash them thourougly with soap and
warm water. This is important so as to get rid of the
chemical that will eventually wear the brush away.
NOTE: please be careful because the solution will wear down
the paint of the brush as well. Try to only soak the metal
part that adheres to the bristles.
BONUS: restores paint!
Say you're working on a great project, in acrylic, but you
realize that your tube has dried up! Oh no! What to do? Rush
out and buy more, or use the magic substance to reconstitute
the paint?
Yeah, that's right, the nail polish remover will reconstitute
entire tubes of acrylics, gouache, and any other dried out
water based paint! (turpentine and mineral spirits work for
oils)
Just add a few drops to a teaspoon of the stuff to the paint,
stab the paint so that the fluid penetrates, leave it be for
a half hour or more, and watch the paint reconstitute itself.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he
asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into
the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just
spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever
had over there in Italy."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, in Italy, they use
cheap domestic cheese. Ours is imported."
|
| Motor Mania
|
____________________________________________________
A man was driving to work when a car ran a stop sign, hit his
car broadside, and knocked him cold. The other car slid into
a gas pump and caused a fire.
Passersby pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He
began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the
medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he
struggled so much.
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on
a concrete slab, saw a lot of fire and behind it a huge
'HELL' sign.
Until somebody moved, I did not realize that there was an
'S'!" in front of the "HELL".
____________________________________________________
An older couple is sitting together watching television.
During one of the commercials, the husband asked his wife,
"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"
After a long thoughtful silence, the wife replied during
the next commercial. "You know, I don't know. I don't think
we even got a Christmas card from them this year."
____________________________________________________
|
|
Imaginative hand painting.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 18 in
1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The
marriage united all the dominions of Spain.
1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes,
which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant
population.
1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the
boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania.
1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph
cable.
1860 British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of the
Second Opium War to establish Britain's sole monopoly in
selling Opium in China.
1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia.
The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars (2
cents per acre).
1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago,
IL, and New York City, NY, was opened.
1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one
year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from
Spain.
1929 The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council ruled
that women were to be considered as persons in Canada.
1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during World
War II.
1956 NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of radio-
equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks.
1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on Art
Linkletter's show.
1961 Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's
Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that
the painting had been hanging upside down.
1968 Two black athletes, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, were
suspended by the U.S. Olympic Committee for giving a "black
power" salute during a ceremony in Mexico City.
1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to
evidence that they caused cancer.
1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death
after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec
Liberation Front (FLQ).
1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities
for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission.
1985 South African authorities hanged black activist Benjamin
Moloise. Moloise had been convicted of murdering a police
officer.
1989 Egon Krenz became the leader of East Germany after Erich
Honecker was ousted. Honeker had been in power for 18 years.
1989 The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission
that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe.
1990 Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil
for $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been
before the invasion of Kuwait.
1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and present,
was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery.
2013 Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on
the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat on
December 6.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 6 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 730 )
Use data from other sheet on Excel work book
Monday, October 17, 2016, 10:20 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 17
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
911 operator charged for hanging up on callers
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 17, in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY.
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
As long as people will accept crap, it will be
financially profitable to dispense it.
--- Dick Cavett (1936 - )
A classic is something that everybody wants to have
read and nobody wants to read.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
You wouldn't care what people thought of you
if you realized how seldom they do.
--- Plato
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Gayle for these questions and answers about
Mad Cow disease
Q. If I drink milk from an infected cow, will it harm me?
A. Of course not. I drink 5 glasses of milk a day and it
doesnt bither me a bot. I am the same today as I was
tomorrow.
Q. So how can I tell if I am infected from this meat?
A. They say memory is affected. What was your question?
Q. What can you do with infected cattle? Killing them seems
so inhumane.
A. Well I have 6 in my backyard and they think they are a
flock of geese. However, I don't allow them to fly over the
house.
Q. How can you detect Mad cow disease in a bull?
A. He would be the one wearing high heels
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
This is a classic, that just came around again:
New Medications for Women Only
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to
8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering
preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by
reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and
how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,
decreases intelligence and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and
pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want
to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency, duration and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their lifestories with total
strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving
the wife the time and trouble of doing
it herself.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Crenshanda Williams,
43,
Houston,
Texas
911 operator charged for hanging up on callers
A 911 operator is accused of intentionally hanging up on
callers during emergencies simply because she was not in the
mood to help, according to Houston police.
Crenshanda Williams has been charged with interference with
an emergency telephone call, according to KIAH.
Williams had been employed as a telecommunicator with the
Houston Emergency Center since July 2014, and supervisors
began to notice that her logs revealed an abnormally high
amount of “short calls,” with a duration of less than 20
seconds.
Supervisors investigated the recorded call logs, and found
that thousands of calls had been disconnected by Williams
between Oct. 2015 and March 2016.
At least one of the calls was for a robbery and homicide, and
two were regarding speeding vehicles, police said.
Williams raised suspicion on March 12, specifically, when she
allegedly hung up on several callers – the first call was
ended immediately after she picked it up.
During the second call, an operator — identified as Williams
— is heard answering “Houston 911, do you need medical,
police or fire?”
When the male caller responded, “This is a robbery,” Williams
is heard sighing before hanging up, according to court
documents.
Investigators tracked down the robbery/shooting caller, who
confirmed someone hung up the phone the first time he called
in, frustrating him, and he had to call back a second time.
By the time police arrived, a person was dead.
Investigators said that the following day, Williams hung up
on several more people, including a security officer who was
attempting to report a dangerous street racing incident.
The operator, again identified as Williams, said “Houston
911, do you need medical, police or fire?”
The caller only had time to say “This is officer Molten. I’m
driving on 45 South right now and I am at ……” before Williams
ended the call.
Although the call was disconnected, the recording captured
Williams saying, “Ain’t nobody got time for this. For Real.”
The officer called in again, and a different 911 operator
picked up and assisted him. Investigators reached out to the
officer, who also confirmed the “hang up call” on that day,
records show.
Police say Williams admitted to disconnecting the calls
because she “did not want to talk to anyone at that time.”
Investigators said Williams’ actions prevented and interfered
with the callers’ ability to request assistance during an
emergency and charges were filed against her.
Williams’ bond was set at $1,000.
B L & M
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Ada
Re: Use data from other sheet on Excel work book
Dear Webby,
YES! Please tell us how to show data from sheet 2,3 4, etc
on the top roundup sheet!
Microsoft sure doesn't!
Ada
Dear Ada
It is not really difficult at all, just a bit weird. In the
late 80's Lotus sued Borland about allegedly copying their
"Look and Feel", and later, when the big war between
Microsoft and Borland started with almost monthly updates of
even newer features, Microsoft used some rather weird ways to
get the same thing done without doing it the same way.
Linking in data from other sheets in a stack of woork sheets
is easiest explained on an aexample.
Make a stack of 3 or more worksheets and rename them by right
clicking their tab and selecting RENAME to Jan, Feb, Mar,
etc.
Now imagine each sheet has your expenses and incomes, with a
total on cell D 33
Go to cell D 33 on the MARch sheet, and enter a number.
Hit Enter
go back to that cell
ALT I, N ENTER
Type in a name, for example MARtotal
ENTER
Now that cell, where you have the totals for March, is named.
Jump to the cover sheet, or JAN, or whatever you have named
it, go to the spot where you need the March totals,
type CTRL K
Don't worry, it will get Microsofter yet!
CTRL K lets you select a NAMED cell.
That puts a rather useless link to that and it's name into
the cell.
Now, with the cursor on that cell, go up to the formula bar,
and put an equal ign in front of the name, and *1 after it.
That turns the name into a number, that you can use as a
number to be summed together with others.
Sometimes, it works even without the *1, however I continue
using it. If the source number has a space in front or behind
it due to sloppy copying, the *1 will produce an error
message right there. That can save a lot of time
troubleshooting at year end.
Even though it is a weird way of going about it, it is well
worth printing out this part or saving it. Sooner or later
you will want to be able to use data, that is on different
sheets.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier
staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to
$16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for
change.
"Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the
proper amount. "Have a great day!"
Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was
$62.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill.
"I'm sorry, Sir. We can't accept anything larger than a
fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy.
"But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned.
"I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it.
Luckily the next check-out lane had a lady working
there and after I wrote my phone number on it, she accepted
the hundred dollar bill.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Skunk Smell from House
By Busy Family [1 Comment]
My Morkie just got sprayed by a skunk because he would not
leave the skunk alone. Thankfully when my Rottie was sprayed
a few years back I found the solution of 1/2 quart hydrogen
peroxide, 1/4 cup of baking soda, and 2 tablespoons liquid
Dawn soap in an open container. Works wonders.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Here is a nice old classic to start the day:
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he
wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a
pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and lived to the age of
110.
He left behind 4 children, 20 grandchildren, 30 great-
grandchildren, 10 great-great grandchildren
- and a fifty foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
|
| Motor Mania
|
____________________________________________________
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently
came upon a farmer working in his field. Being
concerned about the farmer's soul, the preacher
asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of
the Lord, my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his
work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you
a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous
answer, the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones.
You must be lookin' for Jim Christian. He lives a mile
south of here."
The young, determined preacher tried again, asking the
farmer, "Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for Armageddon?" the frustrated
preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's
it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something, the young
preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow or the
next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping
his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to
my wife. She don't get out much, and she'll wanna go all
three days."
____________________________________________________
A fellow who’s just reached his 150th birthday was giving
a press conference to the assembled media.
"Excuse me, sir," one of the reporters said, "but how did
you come to live to 150?
"It’s actually quite simple," the old feller replied.
"I just never argue."
"That’s impossible," the reporter responded. "There must be
something else, like diet, or meditation, or something. Just
not arguing won’t keep you alive for 150 years!
The old fellow stared hard at the reporter for several
seconds.
"Hmmm," he finally shrugged, "maybe you’re right."
____________________________________________________
|
|
Scary vintage Halloween costumes from the past.
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 17 in
1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II
so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed
and deserted young children" in London, England.
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY.
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War.
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was
released at newsstands.
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was
sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939.
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after
leaving Germany.
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina
after staging a coup in Buenos Aires.
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC)
began an oil-embargo against several countries including the
U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western
support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked Israel on
October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974.
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full
U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson
Davis.
1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize.
1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified
radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland.
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the
San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about
67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion.
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty.
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace
treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war.
1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were
laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his
execution in Bolivia.
2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to
the public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other
exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las
Vegas.
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical
Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out the
assassination to avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2
months earlier.
2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because
of troop movements by India in the disputed territory of
Kashmir. India said that the movements were part of a normal
troop rotation.
2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped
by the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on
April 8, 2002.
2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a
drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's
symptoms.
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-
foot-tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was
planned to open for business in 2004.
2003 In northwest England, the Carnforth railway station
reopened as a heritage center.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 10 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 2.9 / 778 )
Go-To buttons in spreadsheets
Thursday, October 13, 2016, 09:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 13
Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my
eyeballs. That means no Friday, Saturday, or Sunday
newsletter.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
SC visitor in FL passes out in drive-through
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 13, in
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House,
after the Canucks had burned it in 1812 and it was
subsequently whitewashed in in 1818.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
______________________________________________________
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
--- Socratex
"Whatever it is the government does,
sensible Americans would prefer that the
government do it to somebody else."
--- PJ Orourke
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Upon her engagement, the exuberant
young woman went to her mother and said,
"I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want
from me, sympathy?"
______________________________________________________
2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99
______________________________________________________
From the archives:
Some funny news:
Court TV Thursday June 07 07:56 PM EDT
Ms Leibovitz heard rumors that there was
sexual harrassment going on at New York
City Transit and went to work there.
However, when nobody lived up to that
rumor and provided her with any sexual
harrassment, she sued the Transit
authority that having to worry about getting
sexually harrassed or not, was a form of
sexual harrassment and caused her to gain
weight.
She was originally awarded $60 000,
however last Wednesday the Second
Circuit Court of Appeals threw out the jury
award and reversed a lower court judge's
ruling supporting it.
As of now, not getting sexual harrassment
is not a form of sexual harrassment.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Kevin Yonson,
28,
South Carolina
SC visitor in FL passes out in drive-through
One is supposed to drive through a drive-through, not stop at
the ordering speaker and pass out.
That’s what happened to a couple who apparently had a Big Mac
attack in the Middle Keys Tuesday night and couldn’t make it
out of the McDonald’s drive-through. It resulted in several
criminal charges being filed.
The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office says Kevin Yonson, 28, of
South Carolina was behind the wheel of a white Ford with a
woman in the passenger seat. They ordered food about 10:30
p.m. but didn’t drive up to the window to pay and get their
meal. So a McDonald’s employee went outside to find out what
was going on and saw them asleep in the car, still at the
ordering speaker. He called the Sheriff’s Office.
Deputy Christopher Schwartz wrote in his report that when he
approached the car, he saw the “female asleep, mouth open,
with drool coming down her face.” He tried to wake her but
she “continued to sit with her eyes closed.” She finally woke
up and “looked at me as if she had no idea where she was.”
She then shook Yonson awake.
Schwartz told her stand behind the car; by that time, Deputy
Garrett Bragg already had Yonson at the back of the car. Both
smelled of alcohol, Schwartz wrote.
Bragg asked Yonson to go through a field sobriety test. At
first he agreed, then decided not to. He got combative and
was yelling, Schwartz wrote. The deputy wrote that Yonson
resisted being handcuffed. At one point, Bragg and Sgt. Nick
Whiteman “grabbed” Yonson and “secured” him against the car.
Schwartz then tried walking him to his cruiser but Yonson
“lost his balance and stated I pushed him over.” After a
minor scuffle, the police got Yonson into Schwartz’s cruiser.
Turns out that Yonson isn’t who he told police he was. He
didn’t have a driver’s license and initially gave his last
name as Johnson, then admitted to who he really is.
Turns out Yonson is a registered sex offender in West
Virginia stemming from a Feb. 9, 2015, conviction there. He
hadn’t registered in Monroe as a sex offender, as required by
law. He also has three drunk-driving convictions in South
Carolina, one in 2008 and two last year.
The woman was taken back to her hotel. Yonson, however, was
booked into the county jail, where he remained Friday on
$25,000 bond, charged with felony driving under the influence
(fourth or subsequent offense), failing to register as a sex
offender, resisting arrest, driving with a suspended license,
battery on a law officer and giving false information to a
police officer.
He’s scheduled to go before Acting Circuit Court Judge Ruth
Becker in Marathon on Oct. 27.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From Helga
Re: Goto link in spreadsheet
Dear Webby,
I'm glad to have finally found a spreadsheet guru again!
How do I make goto links to jump to far away cells in a
spreadsheet? I used to know how to do it with DOS
spreadsheets, but those tricks don't work any more.
What do I do for making Got-To buttons in Excel?
Thanks,
Helga
Dear Helga
Yes, when the spreadsheet makers started to cater to
the mouse addicts and reduce productivity, a lot of old
tricks were lost.
Now, for a GoTo you have to first name the destination.
I usually just name a cell that has no numbers in it
near the place I want to jump to.
To name it, put the cursor intom that cell, and look at the
top left, where Excel shows you the name of the cell, for
example D120. Click in there and type a nickname for that
area, for example October. That's all tehre is to nameing a
destination.
Now go to where you want the Go-To button. If you have a
fixed header row, that does not scroll, for column headers,
-a DEFINITE Must-Have for pros-, put your elevator buttons in
there.
If you want, you can put a small icon in there. Put the
cursor on it, and hit ALT I, i
Then you get a confusing looking window.
It is quite simple once you stop panicking.
Select the middle row, Place in existing document
Now type the destination cell number where it tells you to.
(Second line from the top)
If the destination is on a different sheet, use the directory
tree there to select the sheet and the right button.
That is all there is to it.
If you want more than just 3 Worksheets, like you have the A
to ZZ worksheets in Quattro, just hit ALT I, w, or click on
Insert, Worksheet
That way you can have for example a top sheet for a year, and
12 monthly sheets.
If anybody wants to know the top secret way to show data from
one of the other sheets in the stack, for example show the
total expenses result in Worksheet 11 (October) on the Annual
Roundup (Worksheet 1), I'll tell you tomorrow.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
"When you exit this vehicle, please lower
your head and watch your step.
If you fail to do so, please lower your voice
and watch your language. Thank you."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Expandable Garden Hose Review
By Litter Gitter [185 Posts, 613 Comments]
When I heard about the expandable garden hose, I was not
impressed. I didn't think there would be much to it. However,
three years ago, I saw one in Bed Bath and Beyond and decided
to purchase it. It is one of the best buys I have ever made.
I really enjoy using it.
It stretches out to 50 feet. It is light weight and does not
tangle. It makes washing the car, the siding on the house,
and cleaning out the gutters much easier.
After I use it, I open the hose nozzle for the water to drain
out. As it drains, the hose crawls as it shrinks. When the
water is no long coming out, I remove the heavy nozzle and
hang the hose to dry. I keep it in the utility room out of
the weather.
"Expandable Garden Hose, the hose that grows". It would make
a great Christmas gift.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
While meeting with a client he wished to
impress, a big executive flipped on his
intercom and barked to his secretary,
"Miss Jones, get my broker on the line."
"Yes sir," came back a voice,
"stock or pawn or marriage?"
|
| cutest koala
bears (thanks to //the Bausell Sailor)
|
____________________________________________________
A car was involved in an accident. As one
might expect, a large crowd gathered. A
typical newspaper reporter, anxious to get his
story, pushed and struggled to get near the
car. Being a clever sort, he started
shouting loudly, "Let me through!
Let me through please! I am the son of the
victim."
The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
____________________________________________________
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mom says I'm not".
____________________________________________________
|
|
Fantastic photos that look like paintings!
|
____________________________________________________
Today on October 13 in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction
of a naval fleet.
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House,
after the Canucks had burned it in 1812 and it was
subsequently whitewashed in in 1818.
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of
Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended
further U.S. invasion of Canada.
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by
Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY.
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution.
1943 During World War II, realizing the obvious winner, Italy
switched sides, signed an armistice with the Allies and
declared war on Germany.
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World
War II.
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units
landed at Piraeus.
1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was
used for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State
25-7.
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel
Bagno.
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel
on an hour long special.
1960 The World Series ended on a home run for the first time.
Bill Mazeroski's homerun allowed the Pirates to beat the
Yankees.
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as
the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was
assassinated.
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow
of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega.
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France
supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and
one minute.
1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth
guest.
1998 The National Basketball Association (NBA) canceled
regular season games, due to work stoppage, for first time in
its 51-year history.
1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the
Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT).
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground
in San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days
underground.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 3 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 804 )
<<First <Back | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | Next> Last>>
______________________________________________________
Recognize
a spoof
Web
Tools
Babelfish
Translator
HungerSite
BreastCancer
Site
Calendar