Incredimail vs Thunderbird 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, November 25

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
2 arrested for Breaking Into Cal 
Fire Station during "Camp" Fire

______________________________________________________
Today, November 25 in
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated 
New York. New York was their last military position in the U.S. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Seek simplicity, and distrust it. --- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947) ______________________________________________________ We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. --- Jeff Marder I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth. --- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Purpose of visit?" asked the customs agent as we approached a checkpoint at the U.S.-Canadian border. "We're going to a wedding," my wife said. "Are you carrying any weapons -- knives, guns?" he asked. "No," she said. "It's not that kind of wedding." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!" ______________________________________________________ Minot's Lighthouse, Massachusetts _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert DePalma William Erlbacher Concow, California 2 arrested for breaking into Cal fire station during Camp fire Two Concow men are accused of breaking into a Cal Fire station during the Camp Fire. Robert DePalma and William Erlbacher both face five felony counts including looting during an emergency and possession of stolen property. Bail is set at $250,000 each. Looting during an emergency is bad enough, looting at the Fire Station will hopefully get them the death penalty.
From: Larry Re: Thunderbird versus Incredimail Dear Webby I am using Incredimail xe as my email provider. I am wondering if Thunderbird would be a better profider. Can i transfer my email addresses to it. any info would be very helpful. Sincerely. Larry Dear Larry Neither Incredimail nor Thunderbird are email PROVIDERS. They are email programs. You still need an email provider, either your local ISP or Gmail or AOL or any outfit like that. Once you have signed up with an email provider, then you can choose which email program you want to use. If you travel a lot, choose Gmail as your provider. It works from anywhere in the world. Once you have a decent provider, then you can select the email program. You can definitely choose Incredimail, even though you will annoy the recipients with the goofy attachments. Gmail is very popular, and you can set it to be POP mail. Then you can handle it with anything from Eudora to Thunderbird. I still use Eudora. It works reliably. No problem since 1993. If you keep your mail boxes trimmed down, you can even use Outlook. Just don't allow them to get too large, or it will suicide and take all your mails with it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After examining the contents of the employee suggestion box, the senior partner of the law firm complained, "I wish they would be more specific. What kind of kite? What lake?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The new bride had spent two hours preparing pumpkin pie for their first Thanksgiving dinner together. During desert, she watched her husband slowly savor each forkful. "How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer. But on the whole, it was a good start." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Big Ticket Items Between Christmas and New Years is a good time to buy big ticket items like cars. Dealers usually want to clear out the old to make way for the new. Still do your research, compare prices, and DON'T buy from the first car lot or store. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Lets travel to Arkansas USA
___________________________________________________ A little boy took the chair at the barbershop. "How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber. "Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the top." ___________________________________________________ Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an afternoon filling out applications, leaving them on the kitchen table to finish later. As I walked by, a section of the application on top jumped out at me. Under "Previous Employment" she wrote, "Baby sitting." In answer to "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "Parents came home." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ann How to Clean the House 1. Open a new file in your PC. 2. Name it "Housework." 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?" 6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly. Feel better?

Today November 25 in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be
granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian corn.

1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured Fort
Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh. 

1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated New
York. New York was their last military position in the U.S. 

1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom. 

1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in exchange
for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public debts and settle
border disputes. 

1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite. 

1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk. 

1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and
Germany, was signed. 

1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to
blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier and
jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to cooperate
with the House Un-American Activities Committee. 

1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned
racial segregation on interstate trains and buses. 

1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide after
giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war constitution. 

1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in military
coup. 

1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against the
Detroit Lions. 

1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a cease-fire
in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon. 

1985 Ronald W. Pelton was arrested on espionage charges. Pelton
was a former employee of the National Security Agency. He was
later convicted of 'selling secrets' to Soviet agents. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese revealed
that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had been diverted to
rebels in Nicaragua. National Security Advisor John Poindexter
resigned and Oliver North was fired. 

1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election. 

1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into
separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993. 

1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt on his
life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants near his
motorcade. 

1995 Serbs protested in the streets of the Bosnian capital
Sarajevo The protest was against a peace plan. 

1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator
Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain,
could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he
committed during his rule. 

1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit
to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II. 

1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5
billion bailout for Pakistan.

2018  smiled.


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Filters not working 




Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, November 24

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Mother drove two miles to police station 
with son, 12, on auto's hood

______________________________________________________
Today, November 24 in
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his
theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Seek simplicity, and distrust it. --- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Judy for this story: The Students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" And one smart-aleck could not resist asking: "Did they get both ears with one shot?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Dave He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently converted and now on fire for the Lord. He was constantly pestering the pastor to give him some work that would be helpful to the church. Finally the pastor agreed. He gave the man a list of ten people who hadn't been in church for years nor made any financial contribution. Some of these were quite prominent in the community. The pastor said, "What I want you to do is get these people back to church, however you can. You can use church stationery if you want, but get these people back to church." Three weeks later the pastor got an envelope in the mail from a prominent doctor whose name had been on the list, along with a check for $1,000 and a note that read, "Dear Pastor, Please excuse my inactivity at church. I really have no excuse. Accept this check as a partial contribution for all the Sundays I've missed, and be assured I will never, by choice, miss worship again. Sincerely, J. B. Jones, M.D. P.S. - Will you kindly tell your secretary that there is only one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Classic from the Clinton era To: All staff, Los Alamos National Laboratory From: Bill Richardson, Secretary of Energy Dear staff members: Due to an unfortunate and silly overreaction by the Republicans in Congress to our minor difficulties in the security area, we're being forced to tighten up just a bit. Effective Monday: 1. The brown paper bag in which we store the computer disk drives that contain the nation's nuclear secrets will no longer be left on the picnic table at the staff commissary during lunch hour. It will be stored in "the vault." I know this is an inconvenience to many of you, but it's a sad sign of the times. 2. The three-letter security code for accessing "the vault" will no longer be "B-O-B." To confuse would-be spies, that security code will be reversed. Please don't tell anybody. 3. Visiting scientists and graduate students from Libya, North Korea and mainland China will no longer be allowed to wander the hallways without proper identification. Beginning Monday, they will be required to wear a stick-on lapel tag that clearly states, "Hello, My Name Is . . .." The stickers will be available at the front desk. 4. The computer network used for scientific calculations will no longer be hyper linked via the Internet to such Web sites as www.moammar.com, www.swedechicks.com, or www.hackers-r-us.com. Links to all Disney sites will be maintained, however. 5. Researchers bearing a security clearance of Level 5 and higher will no longer be permitted to exchange updates on their work by posting advanced-physics formulas on the men's room walls. 6. On "Bowling Night," please check your briefcases and laptop computers at the front counter of the Bowl-a-Drome instead of leaving them in the cloakroom. Mr. Badonov, the front-counter supervisor, has promised to "keep un eye on zem" for us. 7. Staff members will no longer be allowed to take home small amounts of plutonium, iridium or uranium for use in those "little weekend projects around the house." That includes you parents who are helping the kids with their science fair projects. 8. Thermonuclear devices may no longer be checked out for "recreational use." We've not yet decided if exceptions will be made for Halloween, the Fourth of July or New Year's Eve. We'll keep you posted. 9. Employees may no longer "borrow" the AA batteries from the burglar alarm system to power their Game Boys and compact-disc players during working hours. 10. And, finally, when reporting for work each day, all employees must enter through the front door. Raoul, the janitor, will no longer admit employees who tap three times on the side door to avoid clocking in late. I know this crackdown might seem punitive and oppressive to many of you, but it is our sworn duty to protect the valuable national secrets that have been entrusted to our care. Remember: Security isn't a part-time job-it's an imperative, all 37 1/2 hours of the week! ______________________________________________________ From Linda _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shaurice Jones, 36, Bath, a Lehigh Valley borough. Pennsylvania Mother drove two miles to police station with son, 12, on auto's hood A Pennsylvania mother drove two miles with her 12-year-son on the hood of her car, according to police who yesterday arrested the woman on a pair of endangerment charges. As alleged in a criminal complaint, Shaurice Jones and her son quarreled last week when she drove the boy to a local dentist. The child, cops say, refused to go into the office. Instead, he climbed atop his mother’s automobile. Jones, 36, responded to her son’s protest by getting into her car and driving two miles to a police precinct. The speed limit on the road Jones traveled is 40 mph. Upon arriving at the Colonial Regional Police Department, Jones admitted to officers that she had been driving with her son on the vehicle’s hood. It appears Jones went to the precinct in the hopes that cops would mediate the family dental dispute. Pictured above, Jones has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a felony, and reckless endangerment, a misdemeanor. She was freed from custody after posting $1000 bail and is next due in court on December 4 for a preliminary hearing. Jones lives in Bath, a Lehigh Valley borough. That is the last time she will ever ask the police for help!
From: Derrick Re: Filters not working Dear Webby I have made filters to filter out spam that has all the common terms used by spammers. Yet more and more spams that has exactly those words in the subject line gets through anyway. The filters work some of the time but not at other times. Is that MailWasher's fault or what's going on ? Derrick Dear Derrick If you look into the header of those spams you will see some weird gobbledigook in the spot where plain words are showing if you read it with MailWasher or an email program. The gobbledigook is just the character codes in a different font. It is normally preceded with some stuff that contains: =?ISO- Just make a filter that looks for "=?ISO-" in the entire header. I catch about a dozen spams a day with that filter, and I have never seen a legitimate mail that had that combination of characters in the header. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man got on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. "About two hours," says the driver. Then the man says, "Okay, then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?" The irritated driver says to the man, "It's still about two hours. Why would you think there would be a difference?" And the man said, "Well, it's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it's a long time between New Year and Christmas!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An old man sitting on the nursing home porch turns to the old man sitting next to him and chuckles, "Winter days like this really take me back. Do you remember the first time you made love to your wife?" "Heck No", says the other fellow, "I don't even remember the LAST time...." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Check the Sell By Date When shopping, always note the "sell by" date. Most foods will last a week past the "sell by" date. Look in the back of cases for the latest dates. If you already own food you won't be able to use, simply freeze it by the "sell by" date. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning till night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and unbothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied, "Oy, who listens?" ___________________________________________________ A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar." "Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter's boyfriend." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home and start all over again. My wife agreed. I went outside, came back in and with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!" "And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"

Today November 24 in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were
both 14 years old. 

1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his
theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. 

1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain began
in Tennessee. 

1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the U.S. 

1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed fencing
material. 

1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric self-
starter for an automobile. 

1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over
the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to
70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to
concentration camps. 

1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese
capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 

1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress for
refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist influence in
their industry. 

1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey
Oswald live on national television. 

1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an end
to the second manned mission to the moon. 

1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted from a
Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with $200,000 in
ransom. He has not been caught.

1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six Israeli
prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 Palestinians and
Lebanese held by the Israelis. 

1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian jetliner.
60 people died in the raid. 

1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and
medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to
eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 

1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned after
more than a week of protests against its policies. 

1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141 people. 

1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the Brady
handgun control bill. 

1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) were
convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of Liverpool,
England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite detention." 

1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a constitutional
amendment legalizing divorce. 

1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in
Japan. 

1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of
Netscape for $4.21 billion. Then Microsoft "persuaded" AOL to
shelf and block Netscape and use Internet Explorer instead. 
Billions of netscape fans were furious, but powerless against
Microsoft's unlimited wealth.

2018  smiled.


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Gramma got run over by a reindeer 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, November 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



What is the difference between the Palestinian Authority and
DACA?

Both fund terrorists.

The Palestinian Authority pays a salary for terrorists, who have
been caught and are sitting in a jail in Israel.

What DACA pays to criminals freed by Sanctuary states is well
enough known.

DACA recipient “Luis Cobos-Cenobio, 29, an illegal immigrant,
faces charges of terrorism and attempted capital murder after a
shooting spree that saw him open fire [on] police during two
separate confrontations as he tried to escape a routine traffic
stop last week.

A href="https://youtu.be/xzODIKkp-d0">Vido of attack

According to ICE officials, Cobos-Cenobio was part of DACA, a
controversial amnesty program pushed by former President Obama
and many Democrats.

“Mr. Cobos-Cenobio had at least two previous arrests, officials
said, including one misdemeanor charge in 2015 that brought him
to ICE’s attention. But the Obama administration, which was in
office at the time, concluded he wasn’t a danger, and declined to
pursue deportation,” The Times continued.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida Driver's Blood Alcohol Content 
Was More Than 8X Legal Limit

______________________________________________________
Today, November 23 in
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were
killed in a series of earthquakes.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. --- Alfred A. Knopf We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. --- David Russell ______________________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q.: Why does Santa wear red underwear? A.: He's a man--he did all his laundry in one load. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven. When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!" ______________________________________________________ Grand Island East Channel Lighthouse Lighthouse in the Alger County, Michigan _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ricardo Portillo-Gonzalez, 50, Port Richey, Florida Florida Driver's Blood Alcohol Content Was More Than 8X Legal Limit A Florida motorist’s blood alcohol content was more than eight times the legal limit when he was arrested yesterday for careening across the road, hitting two guardrails, and nearly striking other vehicles, cops report. Ricardo Portillo-Gonzalez, 50, was pulled over Sunday afternoon by a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office corporal after police issued multiple be-on-the-lookout warnings after receiving witness reports about a dangerous driver. When Portillo-Gonzalez was contacted, a cop noted that he smelled of booze, had bloodshot, glassy eyes, and was unsteady on his feet. A subsequent breathalyzer test registered Portillo- Gonzalez’s blood alcohol content at .66 (the legal limit is .08). A second test recorded the suspect’s BAC at .64. Seen above, Portillo-Gonzalez was arrested for drunk driving and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor charge. The El Salvador native, who works for a lawn care company, was released from custody early this morning after posting $500 bond (and sobering up). Portillo-Gonzalez, who lives in Port Richey, a Tampa suburb, is scheduled for a December 10 court appearance.
From: Alice Re: Gramma got run over by a reindeer Dear Webby where can I find that classic about Gramma got run over by a reindeer? Gramma Alice Dear Gramma Alice Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
One day, visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave an injection, he tried to bandage around 's arm. "I think you'd better bandage around the other arm, doc!" asked . "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage around the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "You really don't have a clue about how kids behave, do you?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Browning Flour for Gravy The key to having appealing looking brown gravy, rather than pale gravy, is to brown the flour you use to thicken the gravy. Brown the flour in a skillet before adding liquid. Be sure to keep the heat low so it doesn't burn. For really fine gourmet gravy first gently sautee finely chopped onions with a bit of butter until they are about hazelnut brown. Do NOT go check your email during that, or else the onions will get black and bitter corners. When they are evenly browned, sprinkle some flour over them and stir until it too is evenly browned. Then stand back and with a longhandled ladle pour a ladle full water into the frying pan. The miniature steam explosion will tear apart any flour balls and you will get a smooth and delicious gravy. Add salt and pepper and whatever herbs and spices are called for, and let it simmer for a while. You can enhance the flavor by sprinkling some Hungarian paprika over the onions before you sprinkle the flour. It needs the hot butter to unlock it's flavor. Enjoy! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Astronomy Picture of the Day
___________________________________________________ What's the most popular wine at Thanksgiving? "Do I have to eat my Brussel sprouts?" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Donnie for these: "Authentic Amusing Headlines" Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find --- The Los Angeles Times Light' meals are lower in fat, calories -- Huntington Herald-Dispatch Alcohol ads promote drinking -- The Hartford Courant Infertility unlikely to be passed on --- Montgomery Advertiser Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link --- Cornell Daily Sun Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut --- The New York Times Malls try to attract shoppers -- The Baltimore Sun Official: Only rain will cure drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -- Newsday Man shoots neighbor with machete -- The Miami Herald Economist uses theory to explain economy -- Collinsville Herald-Journal Bible church's focus is the Bible -- Saint Augustine Record, Florida Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -- Journal of Commerce Lack of brains hinders research -- The Columbus Dispatch ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Morris bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied, "But where in the world a fake Jeep was I going to find !!"

Today November 23 in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act. 

1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing machine. 

1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at the
Palais Royale Saloon. 

1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands at the
age of 10 when her father William III died. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of Tarawa
and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific offensive
in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended. 

1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens. 

1946 Mound Metalcraft changed its name to Tonka Toys
Incorporated. 

1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital from
Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo. 

1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United
Nations Security Council. 

1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life
imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten. 

1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed in
a series of earthquakes. 

1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West
Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International
Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva. 

1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested and
accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a year after
his conviction. 

1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens to
Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta. 

1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL)
goal. 

1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she had
witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two other people
at the Jose Simeon Canas University in El Salvador, was flown to
the U.S. 

1991 Yugoslavia's rival leaders agreed to a new cease-fire, the
14th of the Balkan civil war. 

1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were killed in
a stampede after Indian police baton-charged tribal protesters in
the western city of Nagpur. 

1995 Charles Rathbun, free-lance photographer, was booked in
Hermosa Beach, CA, for investigation of murder in the
disappearance of model Linda Sobek. He was later convicted. 

1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra.
The two had been married on November 14, 1998. 

1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil
settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve remaining state
claims for treating sick smokers. 

1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's effort to
block pornography on library computer calling the attempt
unconstitutional. 

2001 A crowd of 87,555 people watched the Texas Longhorns beat
the Texas A&M Aggies 21-7. The crowd was the largest to see a
football game in Texas. 

2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 

2018  smiled.


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Cold laptop 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, November 22

If you are in the USA, Happy Thanksgiving!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Babysitter broke sobbing toddler’s bones 
then dumped him near a hospital to die

______________________________________________________
Today, November 22 in
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a
motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also
seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was
inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. --- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942) "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." --- Oscar Wilde ______________________________________________________ I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way." He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed. "They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax. You've been working too hard." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Regina After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies, and services that needed to know my new address and phoned each one to ask for the change to be made. Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do, the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of address form." "How do I get one of those?" I asked. "We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominick Smith, 33, Tulsa, Oklahoma Babysitter broke sobbing toddler’s bones then dumped him near a hospital to die A babysitter broke a two year-old boy’s bones because he would not stop crying before dumping him at a hospital to die. Dominick Smith, 33, was sentenced to life in prison last Friday for shaking, hitting, dropping and whipping King Owens, leaving the youngster with broken ribs and a skull fracture. Smith, who was cleared of murder but convicted of child neglect, also gave the toddler half a bottle of powerful sleep-aid NyQuil in a bid to get him to sleep. Two year-old King Owens was battered to death by babysitter Dominick Smith because he wouldn’t stop crying. She was sentenced to life in prison Friday Smith’s boyfriend Johnny Jones is serving 40 years in jail after being convicted of the same crime earlier this year. And King’s mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her son’s killers, will stand trial on identical charges next April, Tulsa World reported And King’s mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her son’s killer, will stand trial on identical charges next April, Tulsa World reported. During Smith’s trial, her defense attorney tried to claim Jones was behind the appalling catalog of abuse suffered by King. But jurors agreed with prosection claims that the babysitter, who began caring for King three weeks before his death, was behind the violence. In her closing argument, prosecutor Andrea Brown said: ‘Can you imagine watching that baby suffer for even a minute and not do something about it?’
From: Len Re: Cold Laptop Dear Webby I know you used to carry a laptop on the dogsled in the Yukon. Do you know if today's laptops can handle the cold, for example being locked in the truck while I am working? Thanks Len Dear Len Absolutely no problem. Just open it up and let it warm up for a few minutes before turning it on, and it will be fine. Any condensation it attracts while warming up, will be baked out of it in the first half hour. Computers can handle the cold a lot easier than heat, and the most fragile part is the keyboard. Get yourself a cheap but comfortable 16" - 17" keyboard and stick it into your laptop case. The laptop will last longer, and so will your hands and wrists. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." "Welcome to hell, here's your harp." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Remedy for Too Much Perfume If you still smell your perfume after a half hour, you likely are wearing too much. Try this: spray it in front of you and then walk through the spray. To remove excess perfume, make a paste of water and baking soda and rub it where you applied the perfume, then rinse off. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Funny vintage inventions and gadgets.
___________________________________________________ John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and start decorating the house and tree. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on his behind. His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?" "I just fell down the stairs," he explained. She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!" "No, no, I'm fine." There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said, "No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?" ___________________________________________________ "Now tell me, Miss Jones," said the senior partner to the very junior employee, "what is the purpose of a vacation?" "To impress upon the employees that the company can get along without them," she responded promptly. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"

Today November 22 in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland
for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 

1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed
during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers
cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and
stabbed more than 25 times. 

1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated in
New Jersey. 

1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin
adopted the SOS distress signal. 

1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood
shafts in golf clubs. 

1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA,
when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila.
The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 

1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in Cairo
to discuss the measures for defeating Japan. 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a
motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also
seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was
inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 

1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The
resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had
captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's
right to exist. 

1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American
travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8,
1963. 

1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation
Organization observer status. 

1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of
Gen. Francisco Franco. 

1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid $4
million for the broadcast rights. 

1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between New
York and Europe. 

1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S.
nuclear missiles in West Germany. 

1984 Fred Rogers of PBS' "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" presented a
sweater to the Smithsonian Institution. 

1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day after
her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for spying for
Israel. 

1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. It
was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 

1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential area
in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 

1986 Attorney General Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel
Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be sent
to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 

1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world
heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 

1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba
and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from
Angola. 

1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less
than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded next
to his motorcade in West Beirut. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and
other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S.
troops in Saudi Arabia. 

1990 British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher announced she would
resign. 

1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American
Free Trade Agreement. 

1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a
gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the
gunman were killed in the gun battle. 

1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire in
response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 

1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving
lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient.
Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for second-
degree murder. 

2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female
chancellor. 

2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 

2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The
dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern
Utah. 

2018  smiled.


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Is "FAST Again With Xtra-PC" a scam ? 







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Gmail opening wrong category 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, November 20

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Elderly Florida woman takes meth 
to her doctor for testing

______________________________________________________
Today, November 20 in
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur
pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The
freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The
Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous
freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? --- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970) Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. --- Arthur Schopenhauer ______________________________________________________ The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. She informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all!" The beauty replied, "Waiting for me to come home." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line sneered to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful." The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ After spending most of a day shopping with her grandson, purchasing gift after gift, the final stop on her checklist was to take the boy to see Santa in the mall's center court area. At the end of their visit, Santa gave the tyke a small gift. When he said nothing, grandma prodded him, "What do you say to Santa?" "Charge it," the boy replied, confidently. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Barbara Lee Ray, 73, Miami, Florida Elderly Florida woman takes meth to her doctor for testing Barbara Lee Ray is being charged on two counts of possession of methamphetamine together with two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia after an encounter with her doctor. The 73-year-old was in possession of meth and took it to her doctor to get tested, according to police reports. She was concerned about the effect the drug would have on her. She also worried the drug would harm her, according to The Miami Herald. Authorities were called to the hospital, and when they spoke to her, she said she had been using the drug for a month, according to police reports. She also showed police a "small clear plastic baggie containing a white crystal-like substance," the report says. Ray also had an empty prescription bottle with her name written on the prescription label. Contents that were inside the baggie and the container tested positive for meth, the police report says. Ray was sent to the hospital for treatment before being taken into custody by police. She didn't overdose on the drug but appeared to be under the influence of it, according to the police report. Ray would eventually be released from jail two days after her doctor's visit. The Miami Herald reports it is unknown why Ray was smoking meth or where she received the drugs.
Charles Re: Gmail opening wrong category Dear Webby I am running W7 Google Chrome amd Gmail. A week or so ago I ran Spybot and since then my GMail defaults to All Mail when I open up. It used to default to Inbox on opening. How can I get back to opening on Inbox. You are the Superfixer Charles Dear Charles Add or remove category tabs: On your computer, open Gmail. In the top right, click Settings Settings. Click the Inbox tab. In the "Inbox type" section, select Default. ... In the "Categories" section, check the boxes of tabs you want to show. ... Scroll to the bottom, then click Save Changes. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Judi's car wasn't the most reliable in the world and she called John whenever it broke down and she needed a ride. One day John got such a call. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out. Can you come and get me?" "Sure. Where are you?" "I'm in the drugstore?" "Where's the car?" "Over in the toothpaste isle."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me that you told her." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Refurbished Computers Companies like Dell and Apple sell refurbished computers and discontinued models with warranties at a 15% to 40% discount over buying the computer new. They come with a much longer warranty than you will get from an online auction, if you get any at all. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Slumping pumpkins!
___________________________________________________ A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however. "The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told a friend triumphantly. "How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?" "Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks." ___________________________________________________ >from Linda Overheard on an elevator: Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these $3 caps."

Today November 20 in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of
Spain. 

1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and Pest
were united to form the capital of Hungary. 

1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in
Mexico. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on
Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes
tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany. 

1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten,
Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 

1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark and
Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association. 

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed its
missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its blockade
of the island. 

1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million. 

1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential use
of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the
substance. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader
to address Israel's parliament. 

1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur
pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The
freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The
Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous
freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 

1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the controversial
ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie depicted the outbreak of
nuclear war. 

1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. The title
was The Poky Little Puppy. 

1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be the
cause of the event that took 31 lives. 

1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National Council. 

1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 

1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into the
country of Kuwait. 

1990 The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Cape Canaveral, FL,
after completing a secret military mission. 

1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England. 

1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in Zambia
to end 19 years of war. 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince Charles
in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television. 

1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden safe
haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating two U.S.
embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist attacks on New
York City and the Pentagon. 

1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also
agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 

2018  smiled.


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Are online orders from European mail-order stores safe? 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, November 19

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Escort agency ‘sets up advert outside nursery 
to recruit vulnerable mums’

______________________________________________________
Today, November 19 in
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.  
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), ______________________________________________________ >From Barb IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIRED PERSON Oldies but goodies I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I had amnesia once -- or twice. Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible... and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. What if there were no hypothetical questions? One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. How can there be self-help "groups"? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? The speed of time is one-second per second. Is it possible to be totally partial? Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy. "OmiGod.... I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second answered. "They've got race riots, drugs. The highest crime rate....." "Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and its not bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it. .....What do you do for a living?" "...Me?" said the first, "...I'm a tail gunner on a garbage truck." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a paticularly difficult day. I said 'Jesus, why do I work so hard?' And I heard the reply: 'Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather.' I said: 'I thought that money was the root of all evil.' And the reply was: 'No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad'. I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it . 'Jesus,' I said, 'what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?' He replied: 'That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone and I would love to chat with you some more, but for now, Senor.... I have to finish your lawn.' ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by ‘La Femme escorts’, Liverpool England Escort agency ‘sets up advert outside nursery to recruit vulnerable mums’ An escort agency has been accused of attempting to recruit mothers by leaving an advertising van outside a nursery for two weeks. The van, which advertised an agency called ‘La Femme escorts’, was parked outside Pagoda Arts Centre in Liverpool which functions as a nursery for local parents. Parents coming in and out of the nursery were met by the van – which clearly displayed contact details – on a number of occasions, prompting concerns they were being ‘recruited’. Councillor Steve Munby, who had the van removed following complaints from Pagoda staff, said he feared the agency was targeting young mums. He said: ‘They are trying to recruit people and we are worried about that. It’s not just that it’s offensive. ‘I can’t think why else they would put them there if not to target mums or people who need to consider doing that for financial reasons. Normally you’d think they would put them in places where you have a flow of people or potential customers but this isn’t that. ‘They are trying to recruit people.’ After walking past on Saturday lunchtime mum-of-two Joan Halfon said she thought the van was ‘outrageous’. She said: ‘You come to town to do some shopping, so of course you take your kids with you but you don’t expect to see this. ‘In phone boxes or on the internet maybe, but not where children could just be out walking with their parents.’ The manager of Pagoda, who did not wish to be named, confirmed that staff had reported the van to the council after it was left parked outside the nursery for two weeks. She said nursery parents were left ‘upset’ by the van, which staff thought had been abandoned outside. She added: ‘We have no idea why it was parked there. If they want to advertise they would have parked it somewhere more busy.’ Featuring six naked women covered by furs, the poster said the company offers ‘luxury’ services 24 hours a day, seven days a week. A spokesman for Liverpool Council said: ‘Where vehicles are contravening parking regulations or causing an obstruction we will take action to have them moved on.’
Harald Re: Ordering from European stores over the web Dear Webby I am trying to order some Christmas presents for some relatives in Europe. Is it safe to order them from one of their mail-order stores over the web? Harald Dear Harald NO!!! Not from Nigerian stores either. Just buy the gifts here and mail them. Shipping and duty is a lot less, and a LOT less frustrating. Europe is ahead of us with phones, but 10 or more years behind with on-line commerce, partly because their banks are so barbaric. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Boris for this story: When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later, I came home from work and got hit with the frying pan. After that, she gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check and, on the memo line I had written "Escort Service."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is the story of a parson who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. "The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new church roof. "The bad news is, the money is still out there in your pockets." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Fun Uses for Buttons Buttons make great wall decorations or plates in doll houses. You can string them together to make a button bracelet or sew them on fabric. You could also substitute them for lost game pieces or use them as poker chips. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.
___________________________________________________ Benny and Mark were at the bar chatting about how much their wives thought of them. Mark said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's great!" Not to be out done, Benny said, "That's nothing. My wife simply worships me..." Confused Mark asked, "She worships you? C'mon, what makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Patty had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband Don, insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her dad for two weeks and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that Don had surprised her by installing beautiful new cabinets as a Christmas present for her. A few days later, Debbie, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen.

Today November 19 in

1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 

1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison,
NJ. 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as
he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War
battlefield in Pennsylvania. 

1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in the
Sunday New York World. 

1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell.


1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a
vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was
needed for ratification. 

1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the first
time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 

1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter
offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 

1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 

1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of
the unpopular Edsel. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon. 

1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 

1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit in
Geneva. 

1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression.


1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-
crime measure. They outlawed crime!

1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 

1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey.
It was only the second known case where all seven were born
alive. 

1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 

1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard"
sold at auction for more than $71 million. 

1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after
adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was
criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's
separatist movement. 

2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank off
northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons of
fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed about 150
miles out to sea. 

2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security at
424 airports nationwide. 

2003 Eight competing designs for a memorial to the victims of
the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade
Center were unveiled. One design would be built at the site of
the World Trade Center. 

2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.

2018  smiled.


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MailWasher and Malwarebytes 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, November 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend ‘because he
was a werewolf’

______________________________________________________
Today, November 18 in
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of 
standard time zones. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people. --- Peter McArthur The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Junk - stuff we throw away. Stuff - junk we keep. --- Da Funk ______________________________________________________ "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast?" said the new husband. "Toast and juice," the bride replied. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "Hey, how'd you do that?" "I could tell you sir," the magician answered, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause the man yelled back, "Ok then... just tell my wife!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for , who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22, Novosibirsk, Russia Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend ‘because he was a werewolf’ A woman who thought she was a vampire from a TV show stabbed her new boyfriend to try and ‘fulfil her mission to slay werewolves’. Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22, believed she was Elena Gilbert, the main character in fantasy drama The Vampire Diaries, she told police. A psychological assessment carried out before her trial in Novosibirsk, Russia, reportedly found her to be sane. Tirskaya and her unnamed lover slept together for the first time after meeting on social media, the court was told. In the morning she suddenly ‘changed’, telling him she was a vampire and like Elena Gilbert, played by Canadian actress Nina Dobrev, had to slay werewolves. He said he didn’t believe in the supernatural, and urged her to go home, the court heard. ‘She grabbed a knife in the kitchen and suddenly attacked him when he was getting out of the bath,’ one report said. ‘He managed to get hold of the knife. ‘But she grabbed another one and stabbed him in the chest.’ He staggered out of his flat and banged on neighbours doors pleading for help. They called for an ambulance and police. The man was gravely wounded but survived the February attack. Prosecutor Felix Kuznetsov said she was sentenced to two and a half years in prison after being found guilty of inflicting grievous bodily harm. She was also ordered to pay £3,900 in ‘moral damages’ to her stabbed lover.
Bob Re: MailWasher and Malwarebytes Dear Webby I have finally decided to get mailwasher because i get so much spam every day. I wanted to know if I can keep my Malwarebytes with it. Do I need to keep my virus protection because reading about it, it mentions virus control in it. Thanks, Bob Dear Bob Yes, sure you can keep MawareBytes! MalwareBytes protects you from evil shit that you get via browsers. MailWasher protects you from spam, and bad stuff coming in via email. The two of them are like a Marine at the front door, and a Navy Seal at your back door. They guard different doors, but both protect you. The nice part about MailWasher, it lets you preview the headers of mail, including the hidden parts that you otherwise never see, and lets you nuke those mails right on the server, without ever downloading that crap. For example, a sender might pretend to be PayPal, and in your email program even look like PayPal. The MailWasher preview shows you IN RED, that the underlying, hidden actual address is a Russian .ru address. And it flags it for Deleting. When you hit F6 to process, that mail goes straight to hell. You don't even have to download it. I use the same addresses since 1994, and they are in all spammer's CDs. So what? I have been using MailWasher since about 1996, and I only see the 100 or so mails, that I actually want to read. By all means GET MailWasher as fast as you can. You have seen messages from people, who have kicked themselves for not getting it a long time ago. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
An English 101 class was asked to write a SHORT essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex, and mystery. The only "A+" in the class read: "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Connie for this classic: A minister was opening his mail one morning. Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "FOOL". The next Sunday he announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their name. "But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids Assign a number for each person in your family and then put the number on the presents instead of a name. That way, children won't go rummaging through presents to see which presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell everyone what their number is. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.
___________________________________________________ Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation came around to last night's big date. "So, how'd it go, Harry?" asked Gil. "Terrible," admitted Harry. "The moment we got back to her place the phone started ringing. There must have been fifteen calls from guys wanting to ask her out. It never stopped, and we never got started." Gil tried to comfort him. "It could have been worse, Harry. After all, an attractive young woman's allowed to have her number in the phone book, now isn't she?" "Yeah, but not with a picture in the Yellow Pages." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's not an offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "A few hours before the store opened."

Today November 18 in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England. 

1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to
sight the continent of Antarctica. 

1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the New
York "Saturday Press." 

1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 

1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S.
rights to build the Panama Canal. 

1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force
in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France.
The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 

1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie,"
starring Mickey Mouse. 

1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco. 

1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in
New York City's Times Square. 

1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against
eating meat on Fridays. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan L.
Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon. 

1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established a
democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 

1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 

1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 

1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients. 

1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution. 

1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest
banking deal in U.S. history. 

2018  smiled.


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Eudora Attachments on W10 solved 




Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, November 17

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida man asks cops to arrest him 
for child porn

______________________________________________________
Today, November 16 in
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, 
linking the Mediterranean and the Red sea. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. --- King Edward VIII (1894 - 1972) I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ >From Carol My husband brought our three young children down the long hall of the maternity ward, pausing to let them wave in each doorway at the new mothers cuddling bundles. At my room, he beckoned them in and introduced them to their new brother. Five-year-old Katrina gingerly fingered the baby's thick red hair that the nurse had brushed and oiled into a fat top curl. She inspected his little feet, admired his tiny ears, and planted kisses on his dimpled elbow. But her coos stopped short at his wrist. Drawing back, she pointed at the identification bracelet and frowned, "Look, Mommy. They left the price tag on!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back." Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!" "See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cory Hinsch, 24, Pensacola, Floriduh Florida man asks cops to arrest him for child porn A Florida man walked into a Pensacola police precinct and asked to be arrested for downloading images of child porn onto his phone, cops say. Cory Hinsch, 24, walked into the police station Friday afternoon and told a front desk officer that he “needed to be taken to jail because he had downloaded child pornography on his cell phone,” according to a November 9 Pensacola Police Department report. Hinsch then “placed his cell phone up to the glass at the counter” and displayed an illicit image of a young girl that was stored on the phone. During a subsequent interview with investigators, Hinsch reportedly admitted downloading the child porn images from the “dark web” via a “Tor browser app” on his phone. A police examination of Hinsch’s phone revealed two images of young girls engaging in sexual activity. Hinsch was arrested on two counts of possession of child pornography. He was booked into the Escambia County jail, where he remained locked up until Tuesday, when he posted $10,000 bond. Bill Re: Eudora now showing attachments on W10 Dear Webby You are a genius! I spent a week looking for answers in various support groups because I hate to always be bothering you. I should have asked you first. Your solution works like a charm. Thank you. Bill Dear Bill You are most welcome! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them - from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, not ask for directions, and not get lost.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids Assign a number for each person in your family and then put the number on the presents instead of a name. That way, children won't go rummaging through presents to see which presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell everyone what their number is. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ “I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you? “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!” ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise." The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."

Today November 17 in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death of
Queen Mary Tudor. 

1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 

1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 

1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide while
in jail awaiting execution. 

1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean
and the Red sea. 

1880 The first three British female graduates received their
Bachelor of Arts degrees from London University. 

1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups
Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 

1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from
Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 

1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel through
the Panama Canal. 

1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from
dancing the tango. 

1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 

1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule.
The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 

1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released by
Luna 17. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing
editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know whether
or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook." 

1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female
and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy in
Tehran. 

1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic
country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in
Pakistan in 11 years. 

1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River
Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World
War II prisoners of war. 

1990 The Soviet government agreed to change the country's
constitution. 

1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the
Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were killed
by police. 

1997 Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame. 

2001 "Toys "R" Us Times Square The Center of the Toy Universe"
opened in New York City. 

2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 

2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first
time humans had trapped antimatter. 

2018  smiled.


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Eudora has attachment problems with new W10 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, November 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Homeless man and N.J. couple 
concocted story for GoFundMe fundraiser

______________________________________________________
Today, November 16 in
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with
massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in
Vietnam on March 16, 1968, that was photographed by a left-wing
anti-war "reporter" embedded with the troops. The photo became
quite famous and hurt the Vietnam war as much as Hanoi Jane did.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. --- Henry Kissinger (1923 - ) This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) "I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." --- Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach ______________________________________________________ One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally, two men walked up to her. "I'm out of gas," she purred. "Could you push me to the gas station?" The men readily put their muscles to the car and rolled it several blocks. After a while, one looked up, exhausted, to see that they had just passed a gas station. "We just passed a station! How come you didn't turn in?" he yelled. "Oh, I never go there," the girl shouted back. "They don't have full service." ______________________________________________________ Re Yesterday's picture: The picture for Nov 15 looks a lot like my first car, a 1928? Model A Ford Sedan. Bought it near Crown Point Oregon where I was logging, fixed it up to run and drove it around Portland when I was in high school. Lots of interesting adventures. The paint was in better condition though. Clyde _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kate McClure, right, McClure's boyfriend Mark D'Amico in jail in New Jersey, Johnny Bobbitt Jr., left, UNder a bridge, somewhere. Homeless man and N.J. couple concocted story for GoFundMe fundraiser Couple Mark D'Amico and Kate McClure and homeless man Johnny Bobbitt Jr. are expected to face charges that include conspiracy and theft by deception. A New Jersey couple accused of scamming a homeless good Samaritan out of hundreds of thousands of dollars as part of an online fundraiser that went viral a year ago had initially conspired with him to concoct a "fictitious story," prosecutors allege. A complaint obtained by NBC Philadelphia says couple Mark D'Amico and Kate McClure made up a GoFundMe campaign in honor of Johnny Bobbitt Jr. so that all three could raise money by deceiving generous donors. They kept up the ruse by preventing donors from acquiring information that would affect their judgment about the campaign and "by failing to correct their story," the complaint added. The three are expected to face charges that include conspiracy and theft by deception, a source familiar with the case told NBC Philadelphia, adding that D'Amico and McClure surrendered to authorities on Wednesday. Ernest Badway, an attorney for D'Amico and McClure, told NBC News he had no comment early Thursday. Chris Fallon, an attorney for Bobbitt, could not immediately be reached for comment. The initially feel-good tale began last fall when Bobbitt, a homeless Marine veteran, gave McClure his last $20 after she ran out of gas on a freeway ramp in Philadelphia, she said. Moved by the gesture, McClure and D'Amico started a GoFundMe campaign for Bobbitt. "Johnny did not ask me for a dollar, and I couldn't repay him at that moment because I didn't have any cash, but I have been stopping by his spot for the past few weeks," McClure wrote in her post. Bobbitt's kindness drew donations from more than 14,000 people and earned him $402,000. The outpouring, in turn, touched the couple: "He will never have to worry about a roof over his head again!!" they later posted on GoFundMe while thanking "everyone who had a part of this amazing ride." Bobbit claimed that of the $402,000 he just got $25,000 and that D'Amico and McClure spent the rest on a brand new BMW, vacations and jewelry. Police have since then confiscated some of the loot. Bill Re: Eudora not showing attachments on W10 Dear Webby I have recently upgraded to Windows 10 because my W7 died. The OS is installed on a new SSD. Since that time, Eudora 7 attachments will not work, e.g. pdf or wmv files. If I send these emails to Gmail, the attachments will open normally. It appears that W10 can't find the attachments. I have searched for an answer, but to date have been unsuccessful. I know that you can help resolve this problem. Thanks. Bill Dear Bill You can tell Eudora where to stash attachments. Instead of some hard to find directory way down somewhere, tell it to put them into C:\att and of course make that directory. You may still have to go in there occasionally and snug up file names, that have empty spaces in them. You may also have to set default programs to open wmf and pdf. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow said, "I'll tell you -- just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked. The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?" "Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Removing a Nail That Has Lost Its Head When the nail head breaks off a nail, it can be tough to get the claw of the hammer to grip the nail. To remove the nail, slip the claw of the hammer over the remainder of the nail and then pull the nail out by moving the hammer sideways instead of straight out. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, "Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?" A student replied, "That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down." The teacher, quite annoyed, responded, "Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?" The student countered by saying, "That's because girls get breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" And the witness said meekly, "MY mother did."

Today November 16 in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American
Revolution. 

1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 

1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a contoured bottle patented.
The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 

1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established
diplomatic relations for the first time. 

1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first pretended to hold a
football for Charlie Brown. 

1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial of
charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 

1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with
massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in
Vietnam on March 16, 1968, that was photographed by a left-wing
anti-war "reporter" embedded with the troops. The photo became
quite famous and hurt the Vietnam war as much as Hanoi Jane did.

1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched
from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into
law. The Alaska pipeline is still working perfectly well, even
though a major earthquake knocked the pipe off a bunch of
pillars. They just lifted it back up.
Bears still like walking on the pipeline.

1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been
developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 

1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of
HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 

1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic
"sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 

1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident from
jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for almost 18
years. 

1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, aged 15
to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a carefully
selected group of teachers and students. 

1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal for
the North American rights to a book about her affair with U.S.
President Clinton. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file
discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor
contracts require arbitration. 

1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was
shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her
wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum of
18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 

2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to
visit Communist Vietnam. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" opened
in the U.S. and U.K. 

2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly
10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 

2018  smiled.


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Mouse driver 





Good Morning, !
Today is  Thursday November 15

I am chipped now.
To take a glucose reading I wave the recorder near my left arm.
It takes the data wirelessly, tells me if it is going up, down,
sideways, up or down fast, and puts the data into a graph.
Once a week I connect the recorder (credit card size but as thick
as your Sillyphone) to a USB port and upload the data to the PCN
(Pretty Cute Nurse)
Then she nags me via email if the glucose level was too high at
any time.
The only time I have to poke my finger the old fashioned way is
if the graph shows an unbelievable jag.

I still have to inject insulin the old fashioned way. No WiFi for
that, yet.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
British mum secretly hoarded £240,000 of 
cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs

______________________________________________________
Today, November 15 in
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that 
became known as Pikes Peak. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide. --- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940) Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two sisters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role. Finally the 12-year-old said to her 8-year-old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for bringing back this classic: One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did Mommy go?" In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Daddy?" The man had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst out into laughter and said, "Come on, Dad! What is it really?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Clare Tague, 32, Manchester, Britain British mum secretly hoarded £240,000 of cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs A mum-of-one hoarded £240,000 worth of cocaine in her bedroom after finding it on a walk near her home then led a secret double life to hide it from her boyfriend and daughter. Clare Tague, 32, who has been jailed for six years, even hid some of the cocaine in her 11-year-old's Kinder egg boxes. The 1.2kg stash had been dumped in a field near Tague's home in Clayton, Manchester, and after she was rumbled she told police: 'I found it on the field and was going to sell it on for money why didn't I just leave it where it was.' Police got a tip off she was hoarding the drugs and last May seized the haul during a raid on her home. Tague claimed she had planned to sell the drugs to pay off gambling debts and during the raid police found four mobile phones and a list of 'figures' among shopping lists. Manchester Crown Court heard Tague had stashed snap bags inside 10 Kinder eggs at a street value of £2,000 to £5,000. Prosecuting, Alison Heyworth said: 'A number of bags and packages of cocaine were recovered from their bedroom. Three packages of cocaine were found there. 'Two blocks were found wrapped in tissue paper. 'The compressed blocks of cocaine were likely to be sold in bulk and could range in value between £4,000 and £50,000.' She added that an Asda bag found in Tague's wardrobe contained another six blocks of cocaine at 61% purity, ranging from 124g to 349g. 'This had a value range of £18,000 to £75,000,' the prosecutor said. Tague was arrested alongside her partner during the raid on May 18 but she pulled one officer aside and indicated that her partner didn't know about the bags. 'She said why didn't I just leave it where it was. I found it on the field and was going to sell it on for money ,' Ms Heyworth told the court. 'They found further plastic bags under the bin bag in the bin including 80 snap bags. 'These were ready to be sold on directly and had a value worth of £3,000 to £7,000.' The total value of cocaine found at Tague's home valued between £28,000 and £238,000, she said. Defence lawyer Rachel White told the court that Tague had always worked but after her father's death she became depressed and developed a gambling addiction. 'This was all to try to get rid of the debt,' she said. 'There is no evidence of a lavish lifestyle and she didn't drag her partner into the proceedings.' Ed Re: Mouse Driver Dear Webby I followed your advice and got a Logitech wireless 7 button mouse. It came with a CD for the drivers. Unfortunately, this old klunker does not have a working CD drive anymore. Now what? Ed Dear Ed Just plug the little wirless transceiver into a USB port. Windows has the basic drivers for it and will install them. Then Logitech will show up in the start panel and you can go in there and customize the settings. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this one: A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals to one pound of weight per week. Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago. I owe my life to chocolate!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Roland for this: One little punctuation mark would have made a world of difference in the gigantic sign I saw posted outside a local family restaurant: "Kids Under 12 Eat Free Live Clown Every Wednesday." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Softening Brown Sugar Put a slice of bread in a bag of brown sugar that has become hard and then seal the bag. The brown sugar will soften within a couple of days, then discard the bread. In a hurry, just grate the clumps using a hand grater or put in the microwave for a few seconds. Brown sugar is not raw sugar. Ancient laws require all sugar to be fully refined. It is simply flavored and moistened with a bit of molasses. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
I love beautiful parks.
___________________________________________________ A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A little boy, excited about his part in the Christmas play at school, came home and shouted, "I got a part in the Christmas play! I got a part in the Christmas play!" "What part did you get?" asked his mother excitedly. "I'm one of the three wise guys!"

Today November 15 in
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of
Confederation, precursor to the U.S. Constitution. 

1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became
known as Pikes Peak. 

1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their
"March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 

1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 

1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 

1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 

1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder King
Leopold II of Belgium. 

1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland. 

1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio
network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was a
four-hour "spectacular." 

1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under
peacetime conscription. 

1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it crashed
on Venus. 

1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts
James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely
in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters staged
a demonstration against the Vietnam War. 

1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 

1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene
Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to
Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was
pardoned a month later. 

1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on
Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock
trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC. 

1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of the
PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent Palestinian
state at the close of a four-day conference in Algiers. 

1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career.


1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six
months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was
serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's
wife, Mary Jo. 

1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit. 

1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a
major trade agreement that involved China's membership in the
World Trade Organization (WTO). 

2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los
Angeles police department were convicted on several counts of
conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted.
The case was the first major case against the anti-gang unit. 

2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first person
to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been attacked by a
dog earlier in the year. 

2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for
$15.6 million.

2018  smiled.


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Wired or wireless mouse 





Good Morning, !
Today is  Tuesday November 14

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to 
home invasion, police chase. 
Crooks rammed and stopped by cops.

______________________________________________________
Today, November 14 in
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than
80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following
January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ Marv, a local cop, recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislanyatv Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan, visiting my daughter." Marv put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well, uhhh, ok, but don't let me catch you speeding again." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this: If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. Then take a dump in the woods. I could deal with that, too. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them into next week. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. I wanna be a bear. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ When the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers, a lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Jim had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delica te operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say. A man rose, walked to the podium, and said, "I'm Jim, and I want to tell my wife - once again - the word is STERNUM." ______________________________________________________ Soapy Smith ? _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Eric Wheeler, 26, Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, Ponte Vedra, Florida Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to home invasion, police chase. Crooks rammed and stopped by cops. Facebook A Ponte Vedra resident was restrained and robbed during a home invasion that originated as a Tinder date, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said. The victim had arranged for a female to come to his house, but a male subject appeared and pointed a gun at him and began taking items, deputies said. The victim was tied up with bed sheets, pushed under a bed and gagged with a shirt so he couldn't scream for help, deputies said. He was forced to give up his bank account information, the report said. Before the victim freed himself, the two suspects were already using his bank accounts. The suspects were quickly identified as Michael Eric Wheeler, 26, and Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, and located in a nearby park. Wheeler is a convicted felon, deputies said. He's charged with kidnapping, resisting arrest and robbery. "Deputies approached the suspects, who then turn fled and attempted to lead deputies into a vehicle pursuit. Due to the seriousness of the charges and the belief that the subjects may be involved in other violent crimes from outside of our jurisdiction, deputies rammed the suspect car against several trees, stopping their attempted escape." Wheeler is being held on a $650,000 bond, while Tripplett faces a $350,000 bond. From: Elsie Re: Wired or wireless mouse? Dear Webby What is better, a wired or a wireless mouse? Elsie Dear Elsie A wired 5 button mouse (with copy and paste!) is $50 cheaper than a similar mouse that is wireless. With the wireless mouse you have to keep buying batteries. The disadvantage of the wired mouse is that the cable gets snagged and you kock stuff over or off the desk. Today's wireless mice don't eat batteries like they used to 15 or 20 years ago. They are quite frugal now. I have a Logitech wireless 5 button mouse and a Microsoft wired 5 button mouse. The Logitech wireless mouse is aboout 7 years old, the Microsoft wired 5 button mouse is about 3 years old. The Microsoft mouse has gotten a bit unpredictable, especially the left button. Overall, the quality of the mouse is not quite the same as the Logitech mouse. Yes, I know, Microsoft does dot MAKE the mouse, they just get their cut for lending their name. However, the mouse they chose to market, is definitely a lower quality than the Logitech 5 button mouse. I have used 5 button mice since the mid 90's, using side buttons for copy and paste, and depressing the wheel for ENTER. Using a three button mouse from the Dollar Store is painful! Actually, my mice have 7 buttons. The wheel tilts for horizontal scrolling, but I never use that feature, or almost never. If it did not have horizontal scrolling, I would not miss it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my p-mail."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Man Walked By A Table In A Hotel And Noticed Three Men And A Dog Playing Cards. The Dog Was Playing With Extraordinary Performance. "This Is A Very Smart Dog," The Man Commented. "Not So Smart," Said One Of The Players. "Every Time He Gets A Good Hand, He Wags His Tail." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Add Cinnamon Baby's Breath To Greenery Tuck cinnamon-scented baby's breath among your holiday greenery, in wreathes, between the Christmas tree branches, in garlands, etc. It's lovely burgundy color and delicate form spruces up any arrangement. It can be purchased at most craft stores and is inexpensive. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Autumn in New England
___________________________________________________ The philosophy professor teaching a course my friend was taking warned the class he was going to give them a test. When the day came he entered the classroom, wordlessly placed his chair on the table and, turning to the blackboard, wrote, "Prove to me this chair does not exist." Most of the nervous students began intently scribbling out long dissertations. But one member of the class wrote down just two words, and then handed his paper to the teacher. The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer: "What chair?" He got an A ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Elsinore When I was 28, I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!"

Today November 14 in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City,
NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people. 

1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published in
the U.S. 

1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination of
U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged the
following year. 

1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than
80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following
January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 

1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began domestic
radio service. 

1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new constitution
was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned for the
Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4, 1946. 

1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of the
English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers
attacked. 

1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight was
seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los Angeles.

1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising with tanks. 

1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 

1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL. 

1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur Hochmuth,
commander of the Third Marine Division, became the first general
to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 

1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000
(1,003.16) level for the first time. 

1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 

1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married. 

1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the United
States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking of 63
American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran. 

1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests. 

1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime Minister
Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government. 

1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down in
the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 

1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to publish
Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho." 

1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom Sihanouk
returned to his homeland. 

1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex for
the first time under an accord that opened such sites to outside
inspections. 

1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, closing
national parks and museums while most government offices operated
with skeleton crews. 

2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app for
smartphones. 

2018  smiled.


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Laptop getting hot 




Good Morning, !
Today is  Tuesday November 13

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and 
a dangerous criminal alien was released to 
the streets and is now charged with killing 
three people.

______________________________________________________
Today, November 13 in
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage
recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a
modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called
"The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener" 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ Nancy was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. She replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Nancy explained, "I've been told what goes in one of my ears comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far from the stage. He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it". _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A sweet 6 year-old girl is sitting on Santa's Lap in a department store. Santa asks the young child "And what do you want for Christmas?" The sweet girl looks into Santa's eyes, and says with disgust, "Hey, didn't you read my E-mail?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Middlesex County Jail New Jersey Luis Rodrigo Perez, 23, Mexican Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people. “Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people,” Price said. “Had ICE’s detainer request in December 2017 been honored by Middlesex County Jail, Luis Rodrigo Perez would have been placed in deportation proceedings and likely sent home to his country – and three innocent people might be alive today. "It is past time that localities realize the perils of dangerous sanctuary policies and resume their primary goal of protecting their residents," Price added. In an email to the Associated Press, Middlesex County officials said the detainer wasn't honored because it didn’t meet their criteria. Missouri law enforcement officials believe Perez and Aaron Anderson, 19, killed their ex-roommates Steven Marler, 38, and Aaron Hampton, 23, after they were kicked out of their Springfield home. Perez is also accused of killing a 21-year-old Sabrina Starr the next day at her house. He is charged with eight felony counts in the shootings. Anderson told investigators he was waiting with Starr in an SUV outside Hampton and Marler’s home when Perez shot them, adding that he could hear the victims begging for their lives while on the phone with Perez. He was charged as an accomplice to first-degree murder and three other felonies. Perez’s girlfriend, Dalia Garcia, 23, is charged with tampering with evidence after she allegedly rode a bus from New Jersey to help burn evidence. From: Helen Re: Laptop getting hot Dear Webby My laptop feels hotter and hotter on my lap. What do I have to do? Helen Dear Helen The machinery did not change, it just got dirty. You have to, either yourself or get soebody else to do it, open it up and vacuum it out. Especially when used on your lap, it sucks in all kinds of cozy fluff, That interferes with the cooling. You need a phillips screwdriver and a vacuum cleaner with a crewvice attachment. An empty jam jar is also handy for keeping the removed screws in. Some Q-tips and windex may also be handy. Shut it down, but don't necessarily unplug anything. The charging cable will ground it and stop you from zapping it. Turn it upside down and remove all screws that you can see. Put the screws into the jam jar, so that they don't roll away or get vacuumed up. Once you have removed all the screws, you can \separate the top and bottom of the laptop. Once you have the top and bottom separated, you see the big mess. Use the vacuum cleaner to clean everything without quite touching anything. If you see any heatsinks or fans, clean them with a Q-tip and Windex or anything like that. Assemble it again and put the screws back in. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
John had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. "I've never had an old ball," he said.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Chinese couple while working in a Chinese restaurant, fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darling, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you wann, I do anyting you wann.... What you wann?" "I wann have numma 69" she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wann . Beef with Bloccoli?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Logs If you have a wood burning stove and receive the daily paper, you can make your own newspaper logs. Lay newspapers flat and roll it into 3 inch diameter logs then wrap metal wire around the finished log. The tighter you can roll the paper, the longer the "logs" will burn. You will wind up with a lot of ash, that you have to vacuum out, otherwise it will "blind" the grate and interfere with air flow. Also, keep in mind that when paper is burned without plenty of heat and air, you produce toxic pollutants, and not really very much heat. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today." HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news." HER "Well, the air bag works." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers. The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise." Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."

Today November 13 in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal. 

1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except
death and taxes." 

1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage
recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a
modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called
"The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener"

1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access
between New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 

1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America
took place. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 

1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial
segregation on public buses. 

1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to
orbit another planet, Mars. 

1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington,
DC. 

1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense
Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the
U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He
denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that
they had been sent to improve relations. 

1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 

1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for
the North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S.
President Bill Clinton. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that
would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured
with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States on
September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II that
a president had taken such action. 

2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for
$1.65 million in Google stock. 

2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The
discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar
Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 

2018  smiled.


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Email Virus 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 12

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana 
during Olmsted Falls traffic stop

______________________________________________________
Today, November 12 in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others. --- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one. --- George Meany Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Pun Alert ! Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his rented van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?" The usual answer was a quick yes. But after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, "Another train." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already....!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Keryl J. Lopez, 48, McKinleyville, California Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana during Olmsted Falls traffic stop A California woman is facing charges after Ohio Highway Patrol troopers seized 510 pounds of marijuana in a Nov. 5 traffic stop in Olmsted Falls, according to a news release. At 1:20 p.m. troopers stopped a 2018 Penske Truck with Indiana registration for speed and marked lanes violations on the Ohio Turnpike. Criminal indicators were observed and a drug-sniffing canine alerted to the vehicle, according to the release. A probable cause search revealed the contraband. The driver, Keryl J. Lopez, 48 of McKinleyville, California, is facing single felony counts of possession and trafficking in marijuana. She is being held in the Strongsville City Jail. If convicted, she could face up to 22 years in prison and up to a $40,000 fine. There is no mug shot of her available anywhere on the net. From: Roland Re: Email virus Dear Webby Please check this one out, see if it's true, Thanks, Roland This one is called the (FTC/DOJ COMPLAINT) e-mail: Another E-mail Virus I just came across a new e-mail virus that is starting to spread itself around the Web. It comes as an e-mail from the Department of Justice. Keep reading for all the details! ...Blah, blah, blah Currently, no antivirus companies have a patch to protect anyone from this attack.......... Hi Roland Just a BS hoax. Whenever you read "Currently, no antivirus companies have a ....." "Microsoft announced..." "IBM announced ...." "AOL announced..." "FTC announced..." then it is BS. Guaranteed. Nobody reads mail from the Dept. of Justice anyway, unless they are some crook on probation. If you have MailWasher, that kind of stuff never makes it to your mailbox. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Martin for this story: Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
On the way hom as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, "If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com sy Classic Christmas Ornament Lightly spray paint pine cones with gold or silver paint to make a classic Christmas ornament. Use florist wire or paper clips to hang them on the tree. Or, put them in a bowl or basket as a as a centerpiece or table decoration. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Oldest Human Footprints in North America Discovered
___________________________________________________ One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

Today November 12 in

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him. 

1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics. 

1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start of
the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments. 

1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading
to Stalin coming to power. 

1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It
was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the National
Hockey League (NHL). 

1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major
victory. 

1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway. 

1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange
National Bank in Chicago, IL. 

1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki
Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 

1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor,
closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since
1892. 

1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 

1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from
Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 

1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of
Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 

1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid I.
Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's
Central Committee. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared
the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 

1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in
prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A.
Walker Jr. 

1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement
that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat
someone solely because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 

1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum
Throne. 

1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock
with the Russian space station Mir. 

1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death
in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 

1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for
constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 

1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center. 

1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG. 

2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take
off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed
into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260 people aboard
were killed. 

2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance
at this point was reported to have control over most of the
northern areas of Afghanistan. 

2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc.
that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of
dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man."
Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and
Daredevil. 

2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British painter
Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud sold for
$142.4 million at an auction in New York City. 

2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The height
was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth
tallest building in the world at the time. 

2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with
the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that
would create the world's largest airline. 

2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian
military equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen
entering Ukraine in columns over several days. 

2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The
comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 

2018  smiled.


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Mailwasher filters 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 11

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’ 
when she refused to have sex without a condom

______________________________________________________
Today, November 11 in
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) You can observe a lot just by watching. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ Sometimes Norm can be so positive and enthusiastic about whatever's he's doing that it's disconcerting to me. I wonder if he's walking in the same world I am. Once we were fishing in a mountain lake. We hadn't caught a thing. Norm had rowed the boat to five or six different spots, looking for the fish to bite. Finally, after about three hours, he got this big grin on his face and said, "Now we can really start fishing. We know where the fish aren't!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wilbur Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ While down south on a visit, the young Yankee made a date with a local lovely. When he called for her, she was clad in a low-cut, tight-fitting, long dress. He remarked, "That's certainly a beautiful dress." "Sho 'nough?" she asked sweetly. "It sure does," he replied. ______________________________________________________ Tag Team _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrew Strogylos, 36, Sydney, Australia OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’ when she refused to have sex without a condom Mortgage broker Andrew Strogylos, 36, was charged with common assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm against the woman who worked at a brothel in Sydney, Australia. He allegedly attacked her when she refused unprotected sex after Strogylos handed over $200 for a ‘platinum service’. Strogylos had been wearing a condom when the service began, but allegedly took it off before trying to have sex with the 28-year-old sex worker at the Zinia Brothel on March 16. Burwood Local Court heard that Strogylos argued with the woman when she tried to ‘shut down’ the one-hour session. Court documents claim Strogylos told the woman he had paid $200 for platinum service and she should ‘offer those services’. The court heard the woman called for help and covered herself with a towel until her co-worker Yi Xun Gan entered the room. Police allege in court documents that Strogylos then spat in the woman’s face, she poured water on him and he allegedly retaliated by punching her in the face. Mr Gan was also allegedly punched in the face after trying to help the woman. Strogylos was arrested on April 27 at his home in Belmore, Sydney. time to act Police allegedly uncovered a stash of steroids including 63 10ml vials of testosterone in his bedroom, the court heard. He was also charged with five counts of possessing a prohibited drug and supply prohibited drug, after police allegedly uncovered pills and other items at this home. Strogylos, who did not apply for bail and was formally refused bail. It is hoped that he will be taught manners in jail. From: Jenn Re: Mailwasher filters Dear Webby I finally took your advice and downloaded Mailwasher. Can you suggest some filters for spam? I already set up the "=?ISO-" one you suggested, but wonder if you have any more suggestions. Also, how do I keep it from bouncing legitimate mail I get from the various lists that I'm on (including yours)? Do I have to make sure to get them all on my friends list? Jenn Dear Jenn For making filters just make them as spam comes in. They are really easy to make, and a very rewarding type of fun. When you see spam, look for things different spams have in common. A typically common word is "enlarge", and that also is part of enlargement. Hit CTRL F7, the Filter editor opens, make a filter that reacts to that word, deletes it and hides it. The same for "Prescript", and so on. No need to use the full words, just the common parts of them. With newsletters, make GOOD filters for them. That is more precise than to just add them to the friends list. Mark them as legitimate and hide them from the list Just add filters as required by the type of spam you get. The reward is when you open up in the morning and read in the status line: 412 emails hidden, and then gleefully pounce on the "PROCESS" button. The only better way to start the day is not a family safe topic '-) Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
HER SIDE OF THE STORY He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else??? HIS SIDE OF THE STORY My team lost. That cost me a bundle! Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Getting the Most out of Turkey or Chicken Bones To pull the calcium out of chicken or turkey bones, add 1 ounce of vinegar to each quart of water (up to 4 ounces total) when you are making soup stock. It will not give a vinegar taste to the soup but will draw out ALL the nutrients in the bones. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant I finished the Oreos. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby! I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever! Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl. Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott! I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth? Are your ankles supposed to look like that? Get your *own* ice cream. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today. Got milk? Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney? Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar! Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water. Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear! You don't have the guts to pull that trigger!

Today November 11 in
1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 

1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 

1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. It had been in
use for a few hundred years, but never patented.

1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at
the Melbourne jail at age 25. 

1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers. 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States. 

1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany. 

1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O.
Merriman. 

1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery
in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 

1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on
network radio. 

1940 The Jeep made its debut. 

1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France. 

1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and
Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 

1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from
Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 

1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft
circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 

1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South
Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 

1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal. 

1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 

1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine.


1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial Fund. 

1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 

1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming
the second largest computer company. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9
million dollars in New York. 

1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies
buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was
later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three
murders and sentenced to life in prison. 

1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World
War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still
living in his country voluntarily. 

1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 

1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition. 

1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in
the Vietnam War. 

1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 

1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That
Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United
States. 

1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying
off 10,000 employees. 

1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 

1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with
the Palestinians. 

2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight
AIDS in India. 

2018  smiled.


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How to remove AdAware 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 10

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man arrested for raping 4-year-old, 
Infecting her with Gonorrhea

______________________________________________________
Today, November 10 in
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary 
in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983) "There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers." --- William James ______________________________________________________ John came from San Francisco to Depoe Bay and asked a native, "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It sure is," the native replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I urgently needed a few days off work but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'crazy', then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My secretaryt asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so the Boss might think I was 'crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my secretary followed me, the boss asked her, 'And where do you think you're going?!' To which she replied: 'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.' ------------ I need a boss like that! _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Your Honor, my wife is just being ridiculous. Most women would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry and I was only opening the door for her out of chivalry." "Mr. Smith," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce. I cannot believe chivalry was your motivation while driving 65 mph." ______________________________________________________ Tag Team _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, St Paul, Minnesota Man arrested for raping 4-year-old, Infecting her with Gonorrhea A Minnesota man is accused of raping his girlfriend’s four-year- old daughter, who tested positive for gonorrhea. Authorities charged Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, with first and second-degree criminal sexual conduct for allegedly sexually assaulting the four-year-old victim at a house in St. Paul on October 28. The four-year-old’s grandmother reported the incident last Wednesday after her granddaughter said Gutierrez pulled down her pants and hurt her. The four-year-old called Gutierrez “daddy,” but the grandmother told authorities he was dating the girl’s mother. The child’s aunt told the grandmother Gutierrez had been making “humping” motions in the bedroom. The victim went to a local hospital, where tests determined she had contracted gonorrhea. A SWAT team executing a search warrant on the residence discovered Gutierrez hiding in the attic. Authorities accused him of sexually assaulting the girl after he also tested positive for gonorrhea. Gutierrez denied hurting the girl, according to a criminal complaint. The 35-year-old has a rap sheet that includes domestic violence charges. Gutierrez made his first court appearance for the sexual assault charges Monday and is due back in court on November 20. From: Tam Re: Removing AdAware Dear Webby Hi and as always thanks for the daily humor. I think I asked you this before, but I need help.. again!! I got McAfee virus protection and it will not let me install it 100% because I have AdAware and can not get to my add/remove program to uninstall it. PLEASE let me know if there is a way I can uninstall that. And any solutions as to why I can not get to add/remove? thanks and have a good day Tam Dear Tam AdAware has been around for ages, and the ad companies have tried all that time to defeat it or to get around it. So they have continuously made it stronger and tougher to defeat. A lot of people have problems with removing AdAware. That is one of the reasons I don't recommend them. Half an hour on Google found this: 1. Click "uninstall Ad-Aware" in the lavasoft folder of your start menu 2. If it does not work, open your control panel, click add/remove programs and locate Ad-Aware SE 3. If it still does not work, locate and run (double-click) the file "unwise.exe" (the .exe might not be shown). It should be found in C:\program files\lavasoft\Ad-Aware SE [Personal/Plus/Professional]\ If that does not work, or if you get a message saying something like "Can't find Install.log," perform a manual uninstall. Do the following: 1. Click on "my computer" and navigate to your Lavasoft Ad-Aware folder (C:\program files\lavasoft\ad-aware \ 2. Run the file unregaaw.exe 3. Delete the entire ad-aware folder 4. Delete your Lavasoft Ad-Aware link in your start menu (if present) 5. Delete the Ad-Aware icon(s) from your desktop(if present) 6. Navigate to C:\Documents and Settings\[User Name]\Application Data\Lavasoft and delete the entire Lavasoft folder. 7. Empty your trash bin 8. Reboot. If you have already deleted unregaaw.exe, try to get it from Lavasoft in Sweden. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust." "That's right, Johnny, I did." "And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust." "Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?" "Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nina: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? Rosey: Yes, I did, once. He had forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Wrap Gifts Before They Are Found Wrap gifts before you hide them. That way if someone does look for them or accidentally stumble across them, the contents will still be concealed. I try to wrap gifts the day that I buy them. This saves time as Christmas approaches too. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ A young and foolish hot-shot pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation radio frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching an airfield during the nighttime. Instead of making any official landing requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The tower controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Myrna When my daughter was about 10 years old I became pregnant. Of course, she wanted to know how it happened,so I gave what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process. She asked, "Did you do that and I happened?" I said yes, and she responded, "And in spite of that, you did it again?"

Today November 10 in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the
end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps
were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is
observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. 

1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling. 

1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?" 

1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 

1919 The American Legion held its first national convention in
Minneapolis, MN. 

1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 

1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart
in Alameda, CA. 

1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 

1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season crowd
in NFL history. 

1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 

1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that equated
Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in December of
1991. 

1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of
29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 

1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped in
a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the cab fare.


1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack at
age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 

1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was opened
to visitors. 

1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 

1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be
the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was
cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 

1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital
sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him.
Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her
husband. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases.


1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing
the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following
week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 

1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action
would end trade sanctions. 

1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa
along with several other anti-government activists. 

1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster
left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 

1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was
the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 

1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of
two CIA employees in 1993. 

1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder
conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to
time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old
Matthew Eappen. 

2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 

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Letter not showing 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect 
in Madison Heights, other robberies

______________________________________________________
Today, November 9 in
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a 
patent on neon advertising signs.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a "blue, four-door sedan." "It's the one on fire," he replied. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Kathy "My ten year old daughter asked me what a colon was and I explained that it was a part of the body that food goes through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a semicolon was and I told her that it was a colon the size of a truck with eighteen wheels." ______________________________________________________ Revenge will be in your shoes! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dajanae Jordan, 23. Grosse Pointe Park, Madison Heights, Michigan Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect in Madison Heights, other robberies A woman accused in a string of bank robberies in Madison Heights and other cities has been named and arraigned in federal court. Police said Dajanae Jordan, 23, of Grosse Pointe Park was charged on bank robbery and attempted bank robbery counts Friday in U.S. District Court in Detroit. We're not charging her locally, said Madison Heights Detective Sgt. Brent LeMerise. The case has been turned over to the feds. Jordan faced a detention hearing Monday afternoon in federal court where her bail will be set. The robberies and attempted robberies first started a couple of weeks ago in Macomb County when authorities said Jordan unsuccessfully tried to rob a Chase Bank in Warren. Jordan used notes that she handed to tellers at all the banks where the robberies and attempted robberies were done, according to police in Oakland and Macomb counties. Other banks included in the string of robberies included an unsuccessful attempt at Vibe Credit Union in Sterling Heights. But police said she was successful in robberies at a Comerica Bank in Macomb Township, a Flagstar Bank on Big Beaver in Troy and a Chase Bank in Madison Heights. The Chase Bank in Madison Heights is located in the Hollywood Market on Campbell Road near 12 Mile and was robbed Oct. 25. Madison Heights police said she handed a male teller a note and threatened to shoot him if he didn't hurry up and she got away with $2,500. Multiple police departments and the FBI were part of the ongoing investigation of the robberies and attempted robberies. They hadn't identified a suspect until police said Jordan returned to the bank in Madison Heights and unsuccessfully tried to rob it again on Halloween. Residents called police and reported a woman matching the suspect's description was running through their yards in a neighborhood near the bank. One of them also saw a car matching the description of a silver car used in the earlier bank robbery. Police said a man in a burgundy Jeep picked up the suspect. Hazel Park police spotted the Jeep heading south on Interstate 75 near Eight Mile Road and finally stopped the vehicle in Detroit. The man driving the Jeep has not been charged and reportedly told police he didn't know Jordan had robbed a bank when he picked her up. From: Joan-Mary Re: Letter not showing Dear Webby The Humor Letter is came through as a blank and only when I hit reply to advise this, did I get to see the column. Respectfully, Joan-Mary Dear Joan-Mary It did arrive and download OK, otherwise hitting Reply later would not have made a difference, and it showed OK for all other subscribers. Check the settings in your email program. If you tell me which email program you use, I can investigate further. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
From a passenger ship one can just barely see a bearded man on a small island in the distance who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that?" a passenger asked a passing steward. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!" "Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked the banker. "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Breaking Up a Dog Fight The best way to break up a dog fight is to throw water on the dogs. This will usually startle the dogs enough to stop the fighting. Breaking up a dog fight with your hands can be very dangerous as you are liable to get bit or scratched. In winter, when thawed out water may be hard to come by, gonging them with an empty plastic 5 gallon pail usually gets their attention, especially if it is the same pail that you use to feed them. It may look cruel, but is a lot better than letting them kill or injure each other. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
15 secretive places you can now see on Google Earth.
___________________________________________________ >From Merlin All my relatives know that I refold the wrapping paper from my Christmas presents for reuse later. "Auntie," asked one of my young nieces, "why do you save all that paper?" "I'm doing what's best for the environment," I replied. "So I'm recycling." "Good thing you didn't ask that question five years ago," my daughter interrupted. "Then she was just plain cheap." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Seen on a bumper sticker: A Lesbian is a mannish depressive with delusions of gender.

Today November 9 in
1857 The "Atlantic Monthly" first appeared on newsstands and
featured the first installment of "The Autocrat of the Breakfast
Table" by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 

1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the
progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a
U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon
advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He
then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops
that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the
evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall full
of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor
leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became known
as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major
league baseball did not come within the scope of federal
antitrust laws. 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated its
"caucasians only" rule. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and
parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up
to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon
Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants,
mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4.

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid
Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also
involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came
out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing
commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed
for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked
British businesses to invest. 

1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust
settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered
to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging
of Nasdaq stocks. 

2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania
Avenue in front of the White House to pedestrians.

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How to stop Chrome from crashing 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 8

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

To avoid death penalty, man admits 
killing pregnant wife and two daughters 

______________________________________________________
Today, November 8 in
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first
X-ray pictures. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. --- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) ______________________________________________________ The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, , tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a pretty good cook." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him. "How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter. "You could say that I am a health nut," Benny answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I've been going to Israeli folk dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow." "But," said the reporter, "my uncle Saul followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 75. So how come it didn't work for him?" "All I can say," replied Benny "is that he didn't keep it up long enough." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked." ______________________________________________________ She does not like Celine sounding like a cat in the washing machine. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chris Watts, 33, Greeley, Colorado To avoid death penalty, man admits killing pregnant wife and two daughters Chris Watts, 33, had claimed he saw his wife murdering Bella, 4, and Celeste, 3, on a baby monitor, then went into a rage and strangled his wife Shannan, who was 15 weeks pregnant. He pleaded guilty today under a plea deal allowing him to avoid the death penalty but putting him in jail for life without a chance of parole. After he killed his family, Watts hid the bodies of his daughters in an oil tank where he worked to hide the smell of their decaying bodies, and buried his wife in a shallow grave. One of Shannan’s friends became concerned about her whereabouts after not hearing from her for several days after August 13 and contacted police. Watts was arrested on August 16 – after making a TV appeal for information about the whereabouts of his missing family. He said their disappearance had left him ‘torn up inside’ and appealed for ‘everybody to just come home.’ Shanann Watts’ family members ‘were very strongly in favor of a resolution in this case short of the death penalty,’ Weld County District Attorney Michael Rourke said. He recalled her mother, Sandra, saying Christopher Watts ‘made the choice’ to take the lives of his family members. ‘I do not want to be in the position of making the choice to take his,’ Rourke said, quoting Sandra. ‘That’s about as firmly as she could have said it to me.’ Watts’ voice was shaking, and he could occasionally be heard sniffing after each time he said ‘guilty.’ The agreement also required Watts to plead guilty to unlawful termination of Shanann Watts’ pregnancy, a felony in Colorado. Family members have said she planned to name the boy Nico. The deal also ensures that Watts, who is 33, will consecutively serve each sentence for that charge and the murders of his wife and daughters. Rourke said Tuesday that investigators never believed that Watts was being entirely truthful. ‘The spotlight that he tried to shine on Shanann – falsely, incorrectly and frankly a flat-out lie – has been corrected,’ Rourke said. ‘The spotlight shines directly where it belongs: On him.’ From: DW Re: Chrome crashing Dear Webby My Chrome browser keeps crashing, locking up, playing stoopid. How can I fix that? DW Dear DW, You probably use the "Honey" extension, that checks net wide for better deals. That works great, when you are on legitimate shopping sites, however, if you are on hysterically fanatic liberal sites like FaceBook or MSN, their censoring and excessive ads get into a pissing contest with Chrome, and Chrome loses. Just disable "Honey" and everything will work fine. Just enable it when you are actually shopping. It will usually save you 5 - 25% of the price. So far they have never sent me to a bad site, You don'y have to remove "Honey". Just disable it until you actually need it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Here is a list of some of the dumbest questions asked by tourists at Alberta's Banff National Park. Yes, they are all allegedly true, as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff. [with my comment in brackets] 1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs? [They just do] 2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? [6 feet] 3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park information staff: "Elk." Tourist: "Oh." [Actually it is pronounced "Elk!] 4. Are the bears with collars tame? [Yes...take one home they make lovely pets!] 5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? [Just before they eat you!] 6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent? [Your sleeping bag or underwear is a much better place for it!] 7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingoes? [Just to the left there... see them?] 8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today. Could you tell me what it was? [Yes] 9. Are there birds in Canada? [Are there brains in your head?] 10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? [Hopefully!] 11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin? [Right there!] 12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper? [You are with a travel group right? I would hate for you to get lost in our fine country!] 13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan? [no that would be Quebec!] 14. If I go to BC, do I have to go through Ontario? [Only if you are on a round-the-world tour!] 15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice Fields? [Try China!] 16. How far is Banff from Canada? [Very far!] 17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? [Space Shuttle!] 18. Do they search you at the BC border? [If you ask them nicely!] 19. When we enter BC, do we have to convert our money to British pounds? [They are using the Yen now!] 20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they? [Sure do...and we all own red "mountie" suits too!] 21. Are there phones in Banff? [No...it is Canada's only official phone-free location!] 22. So it's eight kilometres away. Is that in miles? [no..in fathoms!] 23. We're on the decibel system you know. [Really...so convert a 69 for me!] 24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost? [Spread your legs!] 25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car? [Yes!] 26. Don't you Canadians know anything? [Oh boy...watch out for that tree!] 27. Where do you put the animals at night? [In your car!] 28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: "Oh." [And we paint the trees green too!] And then there is the mating call of the bluehaired Winnebegans: "An juss haw much es that en reel mohney?" [Just double it and round it down. That's close enough.]
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well-behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, a little girl said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead!!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Grow a Natural Christmas Tree Consider a potted tree instead of a cut one. It will save you money every year and it will grow with you and your family. Keep an eye on your tree's health while it is inside. It should only be inside for 10 to 14 days. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Amazing ‘Needle Painting’ of Vera Shimunia
___________________________________________________ There was a large revival meeting on the outskirts of town, and at the appropriate corner there was a large sign proclaiming...."If you are weary of sin and want to be saved, turn here, go 100 yards, and come into the revival tent." Below the sign someone had hung another smaller one...."If NOT weary, call Sherry 555-3550." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue... and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go? ------------- your hips!

Today November 8 in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for the
first time. 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the
Louisiana Purchase territory. 

1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first
X-ray pictures. 

1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 

1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as the
"Beer-Hall Putsch." 

1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The organization
was designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed
people in the U.S. 

1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 

1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa. 

1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle took
place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a North
Korean MiG-15. 

1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son. 

1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 

1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary, but it
evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 

1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California
announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the
planet Saturn. 

1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was "an
African State" that was "neither East nor West".

1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was
delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco, David
Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to negotiate a
release. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to
the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 

1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions
on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 

1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence. 

1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from
the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were
valued at $52 million. 

1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for
the Three Gorges Dam. 

2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner
of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 

2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final
report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993
siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 

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CAT5 vs CAT6 





Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, November 7

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Woman, 24, arrested for meth, child neglect
after leaving kids and dope in hot car

______________________________________________________
Today, November 7 in
1837 - In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob of Democrats (supporters of slavery) while
trying to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) Where facts are few, experts are many. --- Donald R. Gannon ______________________________________________________ The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done now?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Bubba gets in line. When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about?" Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while. After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?" Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday in Dallas. ______________________________________________________ Stealing the duster is tricky! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicole Buffington, 24, Pasco Floriduh Woman, 24, arrested for meth, child neglect after leaving kids and dope in hot car Nicole Buffington was arrested Tuesday after allegedly leaving her two small children alone in a hot car that had a bag of methamphetamine on the front seat while she shopped at a Dollar Tree store. Investigators allege that Nicole Buffington, 24, left the minors in the vehicle for nearly 30 minutes. Police responding to a 911 call found the children--a seven-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl--Tuesday afternoon. Cops also discovered a bag containing a crystalline substance “on top of clutter on the driver’s seat.” A field test revealed that the substance contained methamphetamine. Buffington, seen above, was subsequently contacted inside a nearby Dollar Tree store and arrested on child neglect and narcotics possession charges. She was booked into the Pasco County jail, where she remains locked up on $10,000 bond. According to her Facebook page, Buffington works at McDonald’s. A police report, however, lists her as unemployed. Buffington’s rap sheet includes multiple arrests for narcotics possession and possession of drug paraphernalia, as well as collars for theft and failure to appear in court. From: Isobel Re: CAT5 or CAT6 Dear Webby Is there any real performance difference between CAT5 and CAT6 cable in a home office? is there any difference in the way it is installed? Thanks Isobel Dear Isobel CAT6 MAY show a slight performance gain on long runs of over 200 feet, especially in electrically noisy environments. I doubt that you will be able to measure a speed difference in a home office. CAT6 cable uses the same 8P8C (RJ45) connector as CAT5, but requires a lot more cussing to get it into the connector. If you do use CAT6 cable, do yourself a favor and buy it in suitable pieces, with the connectors factory molded onto the ends. CAT5 cable is fairly easy to stuff into 8P8C (RJ45) connectors and the crimper is cheap. In a quiet home office you can usually get away with using cheap "Station Z" alarm cable and get just as good results as CAT6. However, if your provider has problems with supplying a connection at the speed that you pay for, they will blame the problem on your cable. Switching at that time to CAT6 won't make any difference to your connection speed, but they will have to come up with a different excuse. Nowadays, quite often wireless (WiFi) is faster. For cable, the speeds are limited to what had been agreed upon years ago, but wireless gets faster all the time. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him. When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Thanksgiving." "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?" "At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her we just go out there and get her." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Returning Groceries Return items to the grocery store that are bad or spoil quickly, even if you used some of it. For example, if you buy a big block of cheese and gets moldy after a day or two in the fridge, it probably was not packaged properly. Just be sure to keep your grocery receipts handy. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Pets enjoying Autumn
___________________________________________________ After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

Today November 7 in
1637 - Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the
American colonies, was banished from the Massatwoshits Bay Colony
for heresy. 

1665 - "The London Gazette" was first published. 

1811 - The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by
William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe). 

1837 - In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob of Democrats (supporters of slavery) while
trying to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 

1874 - The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 

1876 - The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by Albert
H. Hook. 

1893 - The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote.


1895 - The last spike was driven into Canada's first
transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia. 

1917 - Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional
government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led by
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 

1918 - During World War I, a false report through the United
Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 

1932 - "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" was broadcast for the
first yime on CBS Radio. 

1933 - Voters in Pennsylvania eliminated sports from
Pennsylvanian "Blue Laws." 

1940 - The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
Washington state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension
bridge had opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 

1944 - U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first
person to win a fourth term as president. 

1965 - The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television
commercials. 

1967 - The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that
college students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose
their draft deferments. 

1973 - The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the
War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage
war without congressional approval. 

1983 - A bomb exploded in the U.S. Capitol. No one was injured. 

1985 - The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of
Justice. The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11
Supreme Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist
guerrillas belonging to the April 19 Movement. 

1987 - Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had
been president since the country's independence in 1956. 

1989 - Richard Ramirez, convicted of California's "Night Stalker"
killings, was sentenced to death. 

1991 - Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on
the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 

1995 - In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted
to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 

1999 - Tiger Woods became the first golfer since Ben Hogan in
1953 to win four straight tournaments. 

2000 - Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first
president's wife to win public office. The state of New York
elected her to the U.S. Senate after a Liberal senator retired to
let her have his seat.

2001 - After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying
commercially.

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Is Microsoft net Framework safe? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, November 6

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illegal Immigrant protected by Oregon's Sanctuary
law from ICE Now Charged with  Brutal Murder

______________________________________________________
Today, November 6 in
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a Angus mcKenzie asked his minister. "Definitely not," was the preacher's answer. "Are you absolutely certain?" "Yes, my son, absolutely." "Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers? A: No, you should eat your fingers separately. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive. "Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," said the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?", the teacher squealed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and said 'pssst' and he didn't move." ______________________________________________________ Vicious polar bear attack _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Martin Gallo-Gallardo, 45, Oregon Illegal Immigrant protected by Oregon's Sanctuary law from ICE Now Charged with Brutal Murder Actually, the Bonehead award should go to Oregon. An illegal alien from Mexico accused of stabbing his wife to death on Sunday was released from an Oregon county jail seven months ago despite federal immigration authorities’ request to deport him, immigration officials said. A woman might be alive today if the Oregon authorities had not decided to allow a known illegal immigrant go free. Martin Gallo-Gallardo, 45, is facing murder charges in connection with the death of Coral Rodriguez-Lorenzo, 38, after authorities discovered her body in a ditch near a river east of Portland on October 28. In March, the Multnomah County Sheriff’s office released 45-year- old Martin Gallo-Gallardo after the prosecutor’s office dismissed assault charges against him. Fox 12 Oregon reported a grand jury could not “hold him accountable” without the cooperation of the victim, his wife. Fox News reported: “Officials from Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) said the federal agency placed a civil detainer hold on Gallo-Gallardo while he was in custody in Portland so it could begin deportation proceedings. The agency said the sheriff’s department didn’t honor the request because of the state’s sanctuary laws.” On October 29, Gallo-Gallardo was was arrested for questioning in the death of his wife Coral Rodriguiez-Lorenzo and it was at that time he confessed to murdering her. Clackamas County officials found her body the previous day, which had been repeatedly stabbed according to The Daily Caller. As with most major ideological conflicts finger pointing and the blame game ensues. Multnomah County Sheriff Mike Reese who supports Oregon’s sanctuary laws said his office never received a detainer request due a technology malfunction in fax transmission. “Gallo-Gallardo drove his wife to nearby Clackamas County after an argument and stabbed her multiple times. He pleaded not guilty to the crime Tuesday,” according to Fox News. Hopefully after Tuesday justice for all will mean cold blooded murders like this will be avoidable in Oregon’s future. From: Susan Re: Is MS NET Framework safe ? Dear Webby. Good Morning, I received an Update from microsoft this morning and I wanted your opinion whether it is one I need to download. Thanks much for your help. Susan Microsoft, NET Framework 10.2 MB Cannot be removed after installation. Dear Susan NET Framework is OK. Many programs use and need it. The only one to guard against is IE Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordion? You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? A: What was your question? ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake" Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Most Interesting Science News Articles of the Week
___________________________________________________ "Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir." "The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her." "During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit." "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too: "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?"

Today November 6 in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 

1832 Joseph Smith, III, was born. He was the first president of
the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He
was also the son of Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. 

1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth president of
the United States. 

1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S. 

1869 The first official intercollegiate football game was played
in New Brunswick, NJ. 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 

1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the United
States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The document granted
rights to the United States to build and indefinitely administer
the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 

1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of Indian
miners in South Africa. 

1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 

1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 

1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of FM
broadcasting. 

1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll in
the Pacific Ocean. 

1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited
when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800
feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led by Red
Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.

1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that condemned
South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The resolution also
called for all member states to terminate military and economic
relations with South Africa. 

1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 250,000
Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 

1967 Phil Donahue began a TV talk show in Dayton, OH. The show
was on the air for 29 years. 

1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 

1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a mass
migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march into the
nation of Western Sahara. 

1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending a
wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible College in
Georgia. 

1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over
northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents to
cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban resisters to
the U.S-led invasion. 

1984 For the first time in 193 years, the New York Stock Exchange
remained open during a presidential election day.

1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 Movement
seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 

1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in
Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being the
head of a family spy ring. 

1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release
of seven American hostages. 

1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S.
announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets
that had been held since 1979. 

1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire. 

1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires
ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 

1995 Art Modell, the owner of the Cleveland Browns, announced
plans to move his team to Baltimore. (Maryland) 

1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 

1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb killing
the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 

1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's
queen as their head of state. 

2001 In London, the "Lest We Forget" exhibit opened at the
National Memorial Arboretum. Fred Seiker was the creator of the
24 watercolors. Seiker was a prisoner of war that had been forced
to build the Burma Railroad, the "railway of death," for the
Japanese during World War II. 

2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. The
bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 

2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23. 

2018  smiled.


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What is SSH? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 5

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles,
climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide

______________________________________________________
Today, November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. --- Herbert Hoover (1874 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde, redhead or brunette?" "Neither, He grandfather is bald." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bumper Stickers from 20 years ago: If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better! Don't be sexist, broads hate that. Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! Constipated people don't give a crap. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. If you can read this... I lost my trailer. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me. I have the body of a God.... Buddha. So many pedestrians...so little time. Eat right, exercise, die anyway! Illiterate...Write for help. Cover me... I'm changing lanes. Boldly going nowhere. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Honk if anything falls off. If we quit voting, will they all go away ? Heart attacks: God's revenge for dieting. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Edward Baumann, 37 Stafford, Virginia Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles, climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide A man wanted in three jurisdictions was arrested Monday at Stafford Marketplace after striking ten vehicles before climbing onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant and hiding in an air conditioning unit. On Monday shortly before 10 a.m., deputies responded to reports of multiple vehicle accidents near the Bank of America at Stafford Marketplace. Deputies determined that the driver of a Ford pick-up truck hauling a trailer holding another pickup truck crashed into the vehicles, four of which were occupied when struck. Both of the pick-up trucks later found to be stolen. Four subjects were transported to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. After striking the vehicles, the subject, who was intoxicated, scaled a metal pipe alongside a building and climbed onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant where he was found hiding in an air conditioning unit. The suspect, James Edward Baumann, 37, was wanted in three jurisdictions—Stafford County, Prince William County, and Spotsylvania County. Baumann was incarcerated at Rappahannock Regional Jail without bond on his outstanding warrants. The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are pending. From: Alex Re: SSH Dear Webby. What exactly is SSH? A program I am trying to buy, requires that I have SSH access. However, my web host tells me that I don't need it and would not know how to use it, even if I had it. So, what is it and what does it do? Alex Dear Alex SSH is secure access to the server command line, just like Telnet used to be until about 25 years ago. The main difference is that SSH is securely encrypted and can't be intercepted. It is not difficult to use, and programs, that require it, are very specific and detailed about what you need to do. Usually they even give you the exact command to type or paste to the command line. Then you type that in and hit Enter. No big deal at all. Web hosting is often like an MLM pyramid. The farther down you are, the fewer rights and privileges you have. When you don't get SSH, but instead get a snotty reply implying that you would not know how to use it, then you know you have hit rock bottom, and it's time to move up a few levels. The bare command line can be a bit intimidating to some people, but at our level, for example, we explain what each command does, and step you through it while connected to you via Skype chat. Sure, it takes a bit more time, but you learn, and next time you know how to do it yourself. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Jean It’s the men’s turn to make wisecracks! After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it! Received an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing; that'll keep her busy! The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I bought her a pair of football boots! Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! Anyone have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me! Does anyone know how long you cook these "boil in the bag fish" that you win at the fun fair? My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day for no reason! Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake! Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup! My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties If you purchase some inexpensive, reusable plastic plates, cups, and use your own utensils, you will have a much more ecological party that relying on disposable plates and cups. You also will be able to use them year after year, which will save you money. You can also go to a garage sale and buy proper plates and cups and glasses for less than the plastic ware costs. They don't take much more room to store till next year. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Weather Channel’s New Green Screen Tech is Impressive
___________________________________________________ Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: We went to the movies the other night. I sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a Millenial from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry. Oops! Excuse me." By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

Today November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I. 

1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 

1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting
to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 

1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 

1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 

1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
Company. 

1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third
term in office. 

1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 

1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29. 

1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally reopened
ten years after WWII. 

1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the
Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at
L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's
tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 

1974 Ella T. Grasso was elected governor of Connecticut. She was
the first woman in the U.S. to win a governorship without
succeeding her husband. 

1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the NFL had exceeded
antitrust limits in attempting to stop the Oakland Raiders from
moving to Los Angeles. 

1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran. 

1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 24
years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced to life
for treason against the white minority government of South
Africa. 

1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston
Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. 

1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was shot to
death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, Egyptian
El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was sentenced to
life in prison for his part in the World Trade Center bombing. 

1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were later
convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 

1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease. 

1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of
their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1998 In the U.S., Chairman Henry Hyde of the Judiciary Committee
asked President Clinton to answer 81 questions for the House
impeachment inquiry. 

1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to
5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 

1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates
from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 

1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested
and charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in
Miami Beach, FL. 

1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 

2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus
and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture
specializing in airline services. 

2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13
people and wounded 30 others. He is still sitting in jail while
lawyers fight against his ordered execution.

2018  smiled.


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Keyboard/Mouse/Video/Sound switch 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 4
Time to change the clocks to Winter time,
except in a few distinct areas.
Turn the clocks BACK, so that you get an 
hour of extra sleep in the morning,

>From Dani
Dear Webby, 
Thank you so much for your advise on Mail Washer. 
I purchased it yesterday and it is a working wonder, 
just like you. 
So easy. Wish I had gotten it a long time ago. 
Thanks again for all you do. 
Dani 


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


4 charged after toddler found outside 
with a bottle of beer

______________________________________________________
Today, November 4 in
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. --- William James ______________________________________________________ >From Jim The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.  The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the minister.  The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop. The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child. Chaos ensued. The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted. The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation. The minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us, why you came forward? What do you have to say?" There was absolute silence in the church. The woman replied, "Grampa, we can't hear you in the back!" And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I do." "Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?" "Sure," said the witness. "My side will win." "OK, then, if your side wins, then you are guilty of perjury and will get ten years." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My girlfriend asked me if I'll love her in the morning. I told her it depends on what happens tonight. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashlee Harcum, 29 Theresa Rockinberg, 52 Rebecca Rockinberg, 27 Akeiba Johnson, 24 Steeltron, Pennsylvania 4 charged after toddler found outside with a bottle of beer Four women in Steelton are facing charges after an officer on patrol saw two toddlers running across a street. One of the toddlers, according to police, had a beer. The officer was on patrol on Oct. 7 in the area of South 4th Street when he saw two children under the age of 2 running across the street. Both children didn't have shoes on, and one was carrying a full, opened bottle of beer, police said. As a result of the investigation, the following women were charged with endangering the welfare of children: From: Irene Re: Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor/Speakers switch Dear Webby. You once mentioned a switch that allows one to use one keyboard for two machines and monitors. What are they called and how do they work? Irene Dear Irene They are called KVM switches. You plug your keyboard and your mouse and your microphone and speakers or head set in on one side, and the two monitors and cables to both computers for USB, microphone and speakers on the other side of the switch. It is a good idea to untangle your cable salad beforehand and label each cable. If you do that, it's easy and works on the first try. When you start up after you connect, your mouse and keyboard control computer #1, the speakers play the sound from #1, and the monitor shows what's going on on computer #1. You hit NumLock or ScrollLock twice, and everything switches to machine #2. You can, of course, use two monitors. That way you see both the actively controlled and the other machine. The other machine does not pause, everything keeps running, you just don't actively control it with mouse and keyboard, - until you double- hit NumLock and switch the active control over to that machine. If you run two machines at the same time, a KVM switch is definitely the way to go. That way you use only ONE keyboard and ONE mouse. Instead of digging for Mouse#2 and knocking your coffee over, you just hit Numlock twice and you are instantly controlling the other machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Bob's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. He stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
REPORTED TO BE REAL-LIFE ADS ~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. ~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. ~ A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. ~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. ~ For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. ~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. ~ We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. ~ For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. ~ Great Dames for sale. ~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. ~ Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. ~ Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. ~ If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin. ~ MT. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. ~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. ~ Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Label the Labels If you have more than one child, it can become difficult to remember which article of clothing goes with which child. One easy solution is to mark the initials of owners on the clothing tag with permanent ink. Use a different color for each child. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
How an 1830s Meme Became the Most Widely Spoken Word in the World
___________________________________________________ By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 814 times." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
was eating breakfast one morning and started thinking about things. "Mommy, why does daddy have so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair?"

Today November 4 in
1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin
Palmer. 

1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the
anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost
tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 

1924 Nellie T. Ross of Wyoming was elected America's first woman
governor so she could serve out the remaining term of her late
husband, William B. Ross. 

1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality stance
with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy allowed cash-and-
carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 

1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air-
conditioned car was put on display. 

1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El Alamein
in North Africa. It was a major victory for the British. 

1952 In the United States, the National Security Agency (NSA) was
established. 

1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the
uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 

1965 Lee Ann Roberts Breedlove became the first woman to exceed
300 mph when she went 308.5 mph. 

1970 Former King Peter II of Yugoslavia died in Denver, CO. He
was the first European king or queen to die and to be buried in
the U.S. 

1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took
63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants, mostly
students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah back to
Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later released, but 52
were held for the next 14 months. 

1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle Columbia
was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the countdown. 

1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 

1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was returning
to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had been kidnapped by
the CIA. 

1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East
Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 

1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight a
"dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 

1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi
Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President
Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford and
Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S. chief
executives. 

1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was
assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending a
peace rally. 

1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against the
Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The sanctions were
imposed because the Taliban had refused to turn over Osama bin
Laden, who had been charged with masterminding the 1998 bombings
of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had its
world premiere in London. 

2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and thousands of
homes. The United States made the gesture of sending humanitarian
aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received the first commercial
food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40 years. 

2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide. 

2018  smiled.


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Problem with "Ease US" 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 3

Chelsea Handler, considered by Commies to be a comedian, 
posted, “If you’re on a dating app, please ask someone on a date
November 6th and then just take them to vote. That’s the most
romantic thing you can do right now.”

I sure am glad I am not a Commie or Dim. 
I can think of an awful lot of activities, that are more
romantic!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Man facing trial on charges of attacking 
fiancee with chainsaw, dragging her through fire

______________________________________________________
Today, November 3 in
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first
to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.... --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), ______________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching twelve fish and he caught none!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An elderly man in Florida calls his son in New York. The father says to the son, "I hate to tell you, but we've got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and we're getting a divorce. I've had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I'm telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn't go into shock later when I move out." He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news. The sister says, "I'll handle this!" She calls Florida and says to her father, "Don't do ANYTHING until we get there! We'll be there Wednesday night." The father agrees. He hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, "Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving, and they are paying for their own tickets. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ <1--Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Presley Jr., 46, Detroit, Michigan Man facing trial on charges of attacking fiancee with chainsaw, dragging her through fire A Detroit-area man is facing trial on charges that he attacked his fiancee with a chainsaw and dragged her through a campfire at his cabin in Clare County this summer. Robert Presley Jr., 46, is accused of attacking the 38-year-old woman from Madison Heights on his property June 6 in Clare County’s village of Temple. On Friday, a judge ruled there was enough evidence for Presley Jr.’s case to move to trial on all 14 felony charges filed against him. He faces up to life in prison if convicted of the most serious charges. Authorities say on June 6 a domestic fight broke out between Presley and the woman. He allegedly cut her with a chainsaw, dragged her through a campfire and struck her with his hands or feet before she was able to escape. The woman walked to the roadway, where a passing motorist picked her up and brought her to an ambulance station nearby. She was transported to Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital, where she was being treated for serious injuries. After the woman escaped, Presley allegedly drove himself to the Clare County Sheriff’s Office to file a report about her assaulting him. Police say he was intoxicated when he showed up and had nine guns in plain sight in his vehicle. Presley was arrested on charges including assault with intent to murder, torture, possession of ammunition as a convicted felon, drunken driving second offense and habitual offender third offense enhancement. He also faces nine counts of carrying a firearm as a convicted felon. From: Bill Re: Ease US Dear Webby. On trying to run my backup program, "Ease US version11.5", I get a message that there are errors on partition C:\. I have spent hours researching this problem. I have run CHKDSK and other suggestions. I did not download any "fixer" programs. Otherwise, my new 1Tb SDD with Windows 10 seems to be working well. Do you have any suggestions or recommend a program that will get rid of the errors on partition C? Thanks. Bill Hi Bill I have never heard of Ease US. If chkdsk says the disk is OK, I would trust that. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Things are not always the way they may appear. For example, a woman's dog got out of the yard and later returned with a rabbit in its mouth. She realized it was the neighbors' pet rabbit, and knew she would never be able to tell them what happened. Since they were out of town, she hit upon a plan. She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit to the neighbors' backyard and put the rabbit back in its cage. She thought the neighbors would discover the rabbit dead and think it died in the cage, and would never suspect what really had happened. On Monday, there was a knock at the door, and when she answered, her neighbor was standing there. He asked her if she had seen anyone in their backyard over the weekend. She said no. He said, "Did you see anything strange going on around our house or yard?" Again, she denied seeing anything suspicious. She said, "Why are you asking me these questions? What happened?" He said, "Well, something really strange is going on in my backyard. On Friday our rabbit died, so we buried it in the backyard. But when we came back from the weekend, it was back in the cage!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Decorations Your Children Can Make Here are some decorations your kids can make. Paint macaroni and string it together to wrap around your tree. Have them cut out snowflakes from white paper to decorate your walls. Or have kids string together popcorn and cranberries. Balls made from crumpled aluminum foil and splattered with water colors also look quite classy. For splattering, use a toothbrush, not a paintbrush, and rub it over the backside of a sieve. With a little bit of practice, it puts a fine and even spray onto whatever is about a foot below the sieve. Candy- apple red and electric blue dots look great. Best done in the shower or sink. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ >From Ella My daughter's fifth grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning over breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon." At once her little brother's eyes got big and he asked, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ed I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."

Today November 3 in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 

1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself
to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 

1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder of
Texas. 

1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 

1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte,
IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 

1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at New
York's Madison Square Garden. 

1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 

1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet
and William C. Durant. 

1934 The first race track in California opened under a new pari-
mutuel betting law. 

1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese
may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 

1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a
supermarket in Chester, NY. 

1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first
to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 

1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29,
1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 

1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to
death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 

1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke
the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of
seven American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra
affair. 

1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to
Iran. 

1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-
ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 

1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two
sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had
been abducted by a black carjacker. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103. 

1998 Bob Kane, the creator of Batman, died at the age of 83. 

1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to prepare
for to battle "the U.S. monster." 

1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor. 

2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 

2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution was
unveiled. 

2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the
first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 

2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business. 

2018  smiled.


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How complicated is mailWasher? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 2
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.


We need to show more sympathy for these people.

* They travel miles in the heat.
* They risk their lives crossing a border.
* They don't get paid enough wages.
* They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
* They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a
different language.
* They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all
day every day.

I'm not talking about illegal invaders.
I'm talking about our troops!

Doesn't it seem strange that many are willing to lavish all
kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our
troops and are now threatening to defund them?


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Indiana woman arrested for writing racist 
note to family: 'This is a white neighborhood'

______________________________________________________
Today, November 2 in
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car 
contest took place in America. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." --- Tallulah Bankhead The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Because he's a longtime Harley rider, my grandfather looks at everything from a biker's perspective. I once gave him a haircut and got carried away. He looked at the pile of gray hair on the floor, smiled and said, "You cut off all the chrome." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular "Google" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical, but finally typed in a question: "Where did I leave my keys?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 12-month-old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite, and that he can fling an open bowl of salsa almost 20 feet. ______________________________________________________ Soon! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Deborah Cantwell, 63, Kokomo, Indiana Indiana woman arrested for writing racist note to family: 'This is a white neighborhood' An Indiana woman is accused of writing a racist note that targeted a mixed-race teen with a racial slur, and also warned his family, "THIS IS A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD," authorities said. Deborah Cantwell, 63, who is white, was arrested and charged with intimidation and criminal mischief, according to the Howard County Sheriff's Office. She was released last week on $8,000 bail. It was not clear when her next court appearance is scheduled. A protection order filed Friday by authorities prohibits her from contacting the family, according to the Kokomo Tribune. The note was left on the door of a recently purchased home in Cantwell's Greentown neighborhood and contained several uses of the N-word, authorities said. YOUR N***** KID IS NOT WELCOME, one paragraph begins, according to a copy of the letter posted on a GoFundMe page established by Amy Pundt, the mother of the 15-year-old referred to in the letter. Pundt said her family was devastated by the letter, which her husband found tucked in the front door of their new home. Their yard had also been toilet-papered, she wrote. "This destroyed his innocence. This destroyed a childhood. This even effected my other 4 kids! This is not an all-white town, nor is this an all-white neighborhood. This one person does not represent this neighborhood or this town," Pundt wrote on her fundraising page, which seeks $7,000 to purchase a home security system and to hire a lawyer, she said. Pundt's husband told authorities he suspected Cantwell had written the unsigned letter because the home's seller told him she was opposed to the family moving in because of their mixed- race son, the paper reported. Investigators obtained text messages sent by Cantwell stating, I am stressing now that we are going to get black neighbors, she texted, according to court records, the paper reported. I am hoping that more people look at the house and an all-white family are the ultimate buyers. I am afraid the stress of black neighbors could put me in the hospital. My blood pressure is elevated just thinking about the possibility. In an Oct. 18 interview with law enforcement investigators, Cantwell acknowledged writing the letter in anger and to toilet- papering the new homeowners' yard. I mean, the blacks get away with it every time, Cantwell told an investigator, according to the affidavit, the paper said. I was just trying to let them know that they weren't really welcome as far as us. I just needed to let off some steam and it was the I'm not a violent person so I didn't think it was any big deal, she told the investigator. The teen's mother, on her fundraising post, said she does not know what to tell her son, who is an honors student, choir member and soccer player, she said. How do I tell my child that this was done? What words do I say to let him know it is not OK and this doesn't represent this town, where everyone that meets him likes him? she wrote. From: Dani Re: How complicated is MailWasher? Dear Webby. Once again I need your expert advise. How complicated is Mailwasher? I have wanted to purchase it for some times, but not sure I would know how to set it to get the 100 or more per day spam e- mails that I receive. Thank you for any information you can give me. Blessings, Dani Dear Dani Dear Dani Mailwasher is as easy as your bed, and just as customizable. You can run it as is. By default it will take care of most spam. If any spam still shows up, then you start making filters. Filters are easy, mostly just PULL-DOWN choices. For example: IF SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS ex-mother-in-law's-address@hotmail.com then DELETE AUTOMATICALLY. That's it for that example. There are all kinds of options like coloring different filters different colors, but all that is optional. Filters have all kinds of options, like BUT NOT For example IF SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS ex-mother-in-law's-address@hotmail.com BUT NOT IF BODY CONTAINS Christmas then DELETE AUTOMATICALLY. That deletes all mail from her, unless she mentions Christmas in the body of the mail. That is just an example. The idea is to get sneakier than the spammers, and those, who are a nuisance. You can tell each filter what to do with the result. That can be to add it to the Friends list, to the blacklist, to mark it for deletion, to never delete, to automatically delete, and so on. They are all available options. The only typing or pasting involved is the address or key word, that you want it to use. You don't have to play with the filters right away, just when you see some spam, that it does not automatically recognize. Filters can be for bad stuff and also for good stuff. For example, you can make a filter that IF the SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS humor@webby.com THEN NEVER DELETE the email. (even if Dear Webby bitches about evil spammers or Mad Maxine) It becomes a brain game, you against the spammers. With MailWasher YOU got all the weapons. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! - Name Withheld
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Avoid Idling If you are stuck in traffic and you don't think you are going to go anywhere in the next five minutes, turn your car off. Also, you no longer need to warm your car up for long periods of time, especially new cars. New cars are made to run when cold. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Her cakes and pastries are too pretty to eat!
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Faye for this story: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Arvid for this report: I decided to stop worrying about my wife's driving and take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38 a week.

Today November 2 in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor. 

1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont,
became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he
deserted. 

1783 U.S. Gen. George Washington gave his "Farewell Address to
the Army" near Princeton, NJ. 

1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 

1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an
electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat.
307,031). 

1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest took
place in America. 

1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support
for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 

1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of
Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting. 

1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined
with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the
American Birth Control League. 

1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 

1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. It
was named DuPrene. 

1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden
airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's
first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of
the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never went
into production. 

1948 Harry S. Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey for the U.S.
presidency. The Chicago Tribune published an early edition that
had the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." The Truman victory
surprised many polls and newspapers.

1959 Charles Van Doren, a game show contestant on the NBC-TV
program "Twenty-One" admitted that he had been given questions
and answers in advance. 

1960 In London, the novel "Lady Chatterly's Lover," was found not
guilty of obscenity. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was
dismantling the missile sites in Cuba. 

1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in
a military coup. 

1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for
permanent residence in the U.S. 

1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey
prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973
murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 

1983 U.S. President Ronald Reagan signed a bill establishing a
federal holiday on the third Monday of January in honor of civil
rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the
U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of
her boyfriend. 

1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions on
television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both local
and foreign journalists. 

1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt
Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for
$30,800. 

1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being
held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 

1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of
taxicab service in Princeton, NJ. 

1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good
because of fear due to his HIV infection. 

1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob
Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 

1993 Christie Todd Whitman was elected the first woman governor
of New Jersey. 

1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up
$1.1 billion in trading losses. 

2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the
church's first openly gay bishop.

2018  smiled.


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Alternative to Norton 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 1

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Wyandotte police arrest man with 
380 suspensions, 45 active warrants
for his arrest

______________________________________________________
Today, November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. --- Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC) To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. --- Norman Vincent Peale ______________________________________________________ Nurse: "Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?" Doctor: "Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere." His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you Federal, or State? _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A guy goes to the doctor due to a hangnail. He walks in, tells the nurse what is wrong and she immediately tells him: "Go into the cubicle on the left and take off all your clothes. The doctor will be with you shortly." Wondering why this problem would require one to undress, he nontheless complies. After a few minutes, he becomes aware someone is in the cubicle next to his, separated only by a curtain. He peeks and there is another guy standing there undressed. He attracts the man's attention, then asks "Why do you suppose that nurse told me to take off all my clothes? I only have a hangnail?" The other man replied, "No idea, I'm just the UPS man trying to deliver a package." ______________________________________________________ Tree Kangaroos _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gerald Rashad Grant, 40, Wyandotte, Michigan Wyandotte police arrest man with 380 suspensions, 45 active warrants for his arrest A man who allegedly has been driving on a suspended license since 1999 has been arrested yet again. On Feb. 1, Wyandotte police pulled over the man after noticing a heavily cracked windshield on the driver’s side of his vehicle. That’s when they learned he was ineligible to drive due to over 380 current suspensions, and he had 45 active warrants for his arrest. Once again, it was not the man’s poor driving that caused him to get pulled over, but an issue with his vehicle. At approximately 2:30 a.m. Oct. 16, an officer was on Biddle Avenue when he noticed the vehicle in front of him had a burnt- out license plate lamp. A police report states the officer immediately recognized Gerald Rashad Grant, a 40-year-old Detroit resident, from prior arrests. The officer asked him for his driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. “Grant handed me a Michigan identification card and was unable to provide any of the other requested documents,” the officer wrote in his report. “Grant then stated that his driver’s license was suspended. Grant stated ‘I just did six months for the last time you got me.’” According to police records, Grant’s number of suspensions had gone done from when he was pulled over in February, when he had 380. Currently his driver’s license is ineligible due to over 340 current suspensions. Records also indicate his driver’s license has been expired since Feb. 11, 1999, and there were 41 warrants for his arrest. According to Deputy Police Chief Archie Hamilton, in his entire police career he had only come across a handful of drivers who had more than 100 suspensions, but prior to Grant had never seen anyone with over 300. Hamilton said Grant was arraigned and received a $15,000/10 percent bond. He’s due back in 27th District Court Oct. 25 for a pretrial hearing. From: Bob Re: Alternatives to Norton Dear Webby. what do you recommend instead of Norton??? I have norton along with my DSL from AT&T bob Dear Bob I use Malwarebytes. That takes care of everything except spam. To control spam I use MailWasherM/a>. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
In MY day: Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today. And the winner: In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. Honorable Mentions: In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. Send me YOUR "In MY day" story!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Kathy and Suzy are having a conversation during there lunch break. Kathy asks, "So, Suzy, how's your sex life these days?" Suzy replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind." "Social Security?" Kathy asked quizzically. "Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Mattresses Have Fragile Handles Don't move a mattress by picking it up by the handles on either side. They are made to shift the mattress from side to side and tend to break when used to move the whole mattress. Press both hands together on either side to get a grip on it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
21 Houses to Avoid on Halloween
___________________________________________________ After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his chambers. En route, he bumped into Judge Forbes. "Say," said Hanson, "what would you give a sixty-three year-old hooker?" "Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Ann for this story: I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appoint- ment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m. and there were already ten people waiting. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home. My husband greeted me at the door. "That was fast," he said cheerfully. "Your hair looks great!"

Today November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.

1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal by an
earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami.

1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the American
colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on the same day
that the Parliament passed the Declaratory Acts which asserted
that the British government had free and total legislative power
of the colonies. That did not go over well either. 

1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president to live
in the White House when he moved in. 

1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical School
later merged with Boston University School of Medicine. 

1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal, was
published in New York City, NY. 

1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief of
the American Union armies. 

1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The money
orders provided a safe way to payments by mail. 

1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via
telegraph. 

1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application for a
high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 

1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first time. It
later became known as "Billboard." 

1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 

1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the first
class. 

1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis in
Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 

1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in which he
described the alliance between Italy and Nazi Germany as an
"axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 

1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the first
movie for Abbott and Costello. 

1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter plane
hit an airliner. 

1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate U.S.
President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when they tried
to force their way into Blair House in Washington, DC. 

1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 

1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 

1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the first
goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 

1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change its
orbit. 

1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-13 and
NC-17 went into effect. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks against the
U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian militants seized the U.S.
embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage. 

1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a Mexican
anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug traffickers. 

1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's Central
Committee. 

1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East
Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 

1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end of a
cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 

1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took
effect. 

1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 

1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 

1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced that
between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-square mile
area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in northern Nicaragua
by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch. 

1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global satellite
phone and paging system.

2018  smiled.


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"Outdated" email address 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 31



home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Mother of N.J. girl who died in 
pancake-eating contest sues college

______________________________________________________
Today, October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Quoting Pelosi yesterday apparently annoyed her two fans. According to them, quoting her is fashist and racist and Trumpist. So we lost 2 subscribers. Booo Hooo! Forward the Humor Letter and hopefully the numbers start climbing again! There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. --- Don Herold ______________________________________________________ While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." "So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen. The guide replied, "One." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My brother and his wife shared their apartment with a parakeet named "Nicky." The exterminator was scheduled to come, so my sister-in-law put Nicky in the bedroom and hung a sign on the door: "Please skip this room. Do not open door. Pet flies." The exterminator came. On his receipt he wrote this comment: "Finished all of the apartment except room with pet flies." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out: "Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!" ______________________________________________________ Cat taking a selfie to prove who-dun-it. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosanne Nelson, Connecticut Mother of N.J. girl who died in pancake-eating contest sues college The mother of a Connecticut college student who choked to death on pancakes during an eating contest on campus last year has filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the university. Rosanne Nelson sued Sacred Heart University on Monday in Bridgeport state court over the death of her daughter, 20-year- old Caitlin Nelson, of Clark. The lawsuit seeks an undisclosed amount of money and accuses the school of approving the contest despite the dangers and failing to provide adequate medical personnel. Officials at the Catholic university in Fairfield declined to comment. Caitlin Nelson was a junior social work major whose father, police officer James Nelson, was killed in the Sept. 11 attacks in Manhattan. She died at a New York City hospital three days after participating in the eating contest. Police said that Nelson suffered from multiple food allergies, but it is yet unclear what caused her death, the report said. From: Liz Re: "Outdated" email account Dear Webby. I got an email, supposedly from "admin@mailbox.com" that claimed " We noticed that your email account has been outdated . Your email account ...." MailWasher showed the underlying real email address, which was totally different. I was momentarily tempted to tell them where to stuff it, and how, but decided that would just confirm to them, that they got through to me. Instead I am telling you, so that you can alert all subscribers. Liz Dear Liz Yes, that is indeed the best way to handle stuff like that. Instead of making yourself a target, make them the target. It is easy enough to make a filter looking for "outdated". Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy look down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!" The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him? The little boy said, "I guess I'll kiss his ass and let him go."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Eva After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Use the Crockpot for Stuffing Prepare your favorite stuffing and bake it in your crockpot while the turkey occupies the oven. You can prep this the day before and refrigerate. It is so much easier, tastier and safer than stuffing it into the turkey. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Five top destinations to see the Northern Lights.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: As a new grandmother, I am very protective of my daughter Meredith's baby girl. One cool afternoon I dropped by to see my grandchild. Meredith and a friend had taken little Allison for a walk in her stroller and were just coming up the street. As soon as they reached me, I bent down to admire Allison and, in my fussiest voice, remarked, "Your little head is cold. You should have a hat on." My daughter looked knowingly at her friend and said, "You owe me ten bucks." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Swine Flu ALERT! Everyone should be aware that there is a possibility of another outbreak of swine flu during the next few months. Please be conscious of the indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the Swine Flu Virus. The symptoms associated with this disease are: 1.) Sore throat. 2.) Slight headache. 3.) Moderate to high temperature. 4.) Nausea or upset stomach. 5.) Uncontrollable urge to screw in the mud.

Today October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany. 

1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 

1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 

1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been damaged
twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the stomach by a
student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini had commented on
the strength of his stomach muscles and their ability to
withstand hard blows. 

1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain prevented
Germany from invading Britain. 

1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work.
At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George
Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham
Lincoln were finished. 

1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered World
War II. More than 100 men were killed. 

1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 

1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a revolt
against French rule. 

1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not marry
Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend. 

1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land an
airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first person to
set foot on the South Pole. 

1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, TX,
announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the time he
was in Moscow, Russia. 

1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was removed
from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display. 

1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S.
bombing of North Vietnam. 

1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-Mart
Stores, Inc. 

1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 

1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 

1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near
her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, was
sworn in as prime minister. 

1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had
been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were
blamed for the murders. 

1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged
into a northern Indiana farm. 

1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in
prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her
sentence was reduced to manslaughter. 

1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N.
arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's
weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of
Kuwait in 1990. 

1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA,
killing all 217 people aboard. 

1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran
Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of
Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute
over the nature of faith and salvation. 

2001 Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a
tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the
software company. 

2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 

2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of
VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United
States
supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 

2018  smiled.


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Location of desktop wallpaper pictures 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 30

Well, I found the carefully hidden diagnostic center, 
even though I don't have a GPS or a Sillyphone. It is upstairs
from a tattoo parlor and tattoo removal parlor, beside a massage
parlor, and not near a major center.

They didn't do a total stress test like the last outfit I went to
a couple of years ago. They probably lost too many victims.
All they did was make me lie down on a gourney and a recent
import from the Phillipines, who was insecure about her language
skills, -or lack thereof-, and tried to hide that by being rude
and abrupt, used a hydraulic wand to spread some slimey goop on
me.

Whenever I tried to sneak a peek onto the screen, she instantly
hit the screen saver and told me to turn away from there.
I have no idea what her hysterical paranoia was about.
Oh, well. That chore is done.

I had rather looked forward to running till I almost passed out
and then diving onto a cuddly nurse, but I sure would not call
this one cuddly! Medicare is going downhill!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Arsenal of weapons found in truck of man 
passed out behind wheel in Florida

______________________________________________________
Today, October 30 in
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news
event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"You have a business. You didn't build that. Someone else did!" --- Barack Obama (Quoted in 2012) And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the "Mother Superior of STUPID": "We just have to pass Obama's Healthcare Bill to see what's in it." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March in 2010 ) ______________________________________________________ A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go with them to visit Aunt Helen." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Kim Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, they told her to get a new number. "I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?" They refused. So Mom said, "Fine. From now on I'm going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full." The company got a new number the next day. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." (hand-written underneath) ~ "Socks can eat any place they want." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Goldammer, 32, Miami Beach, Floriduh Arsenal of weapons found in truck of man passed out behind wheel in Florida Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and the driver almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. A stockpile of weapons, including loaded handguns and a semi- automatic rifle, was found in the back of a truck after Florida police found the driver passed out behind the wheel. David Goldammer, 32, was arrested after officers found him unconscious in his pickup with the engine running and parked in front of an alley in Miami Beach around 1 a.m. ET on Thursday. David GoldammerDavid GoldammerMiami-Dade Corrections Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and Goldammer almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. Two open beer bottles were found in the truck, as well as two loaded handguns. He also had a gun in the waistband of his pants, police said. Officers ordered Goldammer to perform a field sobriety test, but he refused and was taken into custody. A search of his vehicle turned up two more loaded handguns, a semi-automatic rifle, a pocketknife with a swastika on it, a bullet-resistant vest and a large amount of ammunition. Police have not said why Goldammer, from South Dakota, had the stockpile in his car or what he was doing in the area. "What's alarming in this case is that it's the early morning hours, it's Thursday morning, and there's a man asleep at the wheel under the influence of an alcoholic beverage with an arsenal of weapons in his possession," police spokesman Ernesto Rodriguez told NBC affiliate WTVJ. "That is a deadly combination and we need to understand why he was here in Miami Beach, or South Florida for that matter." Goldammer was charged with DUI, openly carrying a weapon and carrying a concealed firearm. From: Carolyn Re: Re-using desktop background Dear Webby. I found a pretty fall picture and made it my desktop picture. I do not remember where I found it. How can I save it when I get ready to put a winter scene on my desktop. (I have a laptop) Thanks P.S. As always, I sure enjoy your newsletter!!! Carolyn/Indiana Dear Carolyn Look in MyPictures I would be wiling to bet that you saved it to there, and that Windows is serving it to the desktop from there. You can even make a screen saver from the pictures that you saved to MyPictures. Just move the ones that are not suitable to a different folder. When you select "SlideShow" as your screen saver, it uses the pictures in that folder. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me and get me a coffee while you are up anyway."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Artwork for Your Walls If you can't afford art prints, find some old calendars with artwork by your favorite artists and take them apart. Place them in a nice dollar store frame or use for a collage. Outdated calendars can be bought for next to nothing. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Five top destinations to see the Northern Lights.
___________________________________________________ >From Ina On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Today October 30 in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established by
Simon Bolivar. 

1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history. 

1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 

1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman
Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 

1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of
Rochester, NY. 

1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news
event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 

1943 In Moscow, a declaration was signed by the Governments of
the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, the United States and China
called for an early establishment of an international
organization to maintain peace and security. The goal was
supported on December 1, 1943, at a meeting in Teheran. 

1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 

1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize. 

1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of
approximately 58 megatons. 

1961 The Soviet Party Congress unanimously approved an order to
remove Joseph Stalin's body from Lenin's tomb. 

1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to
increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 

1972 In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains collided
on Chicago's south side. 

1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator
Francisco Franco was near death. 

1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop
Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R.
Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York
City. 

1982 Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time since
it was ratified on April 25, 1976. 

1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity
priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four
security officers. 

1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent
of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 

1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space,
performed the world's first animal dissections in space, while
aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 

1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian
President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military
still in control. 

1995 Federalists prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a
referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 

1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the
39 people on board were killed when anti-terrorist squads raided
the plane. 

2018  smiled.


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Cooling a modern laptop 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 29

Today I have to drive to Calgary for Cardio-Diagnostics,
whatever that is. Could be anything from MRI to running on an
inclined treadmill with EKG electrodes attached, and with senior
nurses frowning at me when I don't fall off the treadmill and
onto them. Hmmm, maybe I should fake a fall and find out?

I'll find out and tell you tomorrow.

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts

______________________________________________________
Today, October 29 in
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 
to prepare for WWII.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted in 2006) "Paying taxes is voluntary." --- Sen. Harry Reid Al Capone was sent to jail not for bootlegging or racketeering, but for tax evasion. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the second floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the third floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the second floor too." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Also from Sandie: My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the class raised their hand and asked, "Did they make it specially for you?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Arnie for this story: I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, Hanahan, South Carolina South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts A threesome went terribly wrong Monday night when a South Carolina woman high on meth and heroin allegedly attempted to bite off the genitals of a male with whom she was trysting, police report. Cops were summoned around 9:30 PM on October 22 to an apartment complex in Hanahan, a city about 15 miles north of Charleston. A 911 caller reported an assault “where the female attempted to bite off” his penis. Upon arriving at the residence, cops spotted “a naked white female on hands and knees” crawling into a hallway. The woman, covered in blood, ignored police commands to stop moving and was “charging toward the Officers,” according to a Hanahan Police Department report. The woman, cops noted, had “already threatened to bite off [the victim’s] penis as well.” When the suspect continued to advance on officers, a patrolman “engaged his taser on the female,” as first reported by WCSC’s Harve Jacobs. The suspect, identified as Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, told police that she had used heroin and methamphetamine that evening. Luchka later struggled with cops as they sought to place her on a gurney, and “barked, growled, and hissed” at police. The victim, Steven Norton, 31, told cops that he and another man were having sex with Luchka when she “started passing out from drug use.” Norton said that he then asked Luchka (seen above) to leave his apartment, but she refused. Norton said that Luchka began throwing items at him and threatened to “bite his dick off.” Norton said that Luchka struck him above the right eye with a glass object, “causing a gash.” Before calling 911, Norton recalled, he struck Luchka “several times with his fists.” Norton told police that “if Luchka went to the hospital, he would not pursue charges.” Luchka was transported to a North Charleston hospital, while Norton was treated for injuries at a Charleston hospital. While cops have classified the incident as an aggravated assault, investigators are still reviewing the matter and no arrest has been made, according to Police From: Dani Re: Cooling a laptop Good Morning Webby. I know you have probably answered this question before, but since I didn't have a laptop I didn't pay attention to your advise. Now I have a laptop and I am wondering what is the best way to keep it cool. Thank you as always for your expert advise. A Webby Fan, Dani Dear Dani That depends entirely on the laptop. Some suck the cooling air from the bottom, some from the side, and some even through the keyboard. They all tell you in the manual, and what part you should not obstruct. Most modern laptops don't produce as much heat as they used to, even ten years ago. Unless you have a very expensive, high powered game machine, I would not worry about it, but before you heave the manual into storage, have a peek. It usually tells you. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A stewardess approached a gentleman who was voicing his complains rather loudly. "Yes, Sir?" "I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie, and there are no window blinds, so I can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and pretend to be busy. "
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Silverware Line a pan with aluminum foil, fill it with water, add 1 Tbsp. of baking soda for each 2 cups. Heat to boiling and remove from heat. Add silver then rinse and polish them lightly. The foil attracts the tarnish so make sure the silver touches the foil. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Mind blowing Halloween pumpkins!
___________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e". ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work." "When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea." "Then, when you wanted to jazz up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now, we have a lot of new, younger choir members, and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right! "But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've come up with another good idea." "However, the neon sign out front that says, 'Toot 'n tell or go to hell', has got to go!

Today October 29 in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that had
been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy against
King James I. 

1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth. 

1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was the
founder of Pennsylvania. 

1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 

1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, was
electrocuted. 

1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of
the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later
known as Kemal Ataturk. 

1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall
Street stock market. 

1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to
prepare for WWII. 

1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on
sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of
$12.50 each. 

1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez Canal
Crisis. 

1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close-
circuit television. 

1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional
fight. 

1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 

1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all
school segregation. 

1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. He
carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him over
1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 

1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding
discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or
marital status 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's
regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during its
occupation of Kuwait. 

1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an
asteroid (Gaspra). 

1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to
pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President Jean-
Bertrand Aristide to power. 

1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food and
Drug Administration. 

1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn on
board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first
American to orbit the Earth. 

1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2
million at a New York auction. 

2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV network
telecast. 

2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released

2018  smiled.


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Forward and Back via bottom Status line 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 28

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


British woman claimed her fake blow-job-lips
stopped her from blowing police breathalyser

______________________________________________________
Today, October 28 in
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"I invented the Internet." --- Al Gore "America is, is no longer, uh, what it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was, uh, and I say to myself, uh, I don't want that future, uh, for my children." --- Barack Obama "I have campaigned in all 57 states." --- Barack Obama (Quoted in 2008) ______________________________________________________ RULES OF THE OFFICE ** If it rings, put it on hold; ** If it clanks, call the repairman; ** If it whistles, ignore it; ** If it's a friend, take a break; ** If it's the boss, look busy; ** If it talks, take notes; ** If it's handwritten, type it; ** If it's typed, copy it; ** If it's copied, file it; ** If it's Friday, forget it! ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sunday School Bloopers: Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah. Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much the dress on that store dummy over there is?" "That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snooty salesman. "Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's Bargain Store downtown!" "But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool." "Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep at night do?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Scarlett Harrison, 20, Manchester, England British woman claimed her fake blow-job-lips stopped her from blowing police breathalyser Scarlett Harrison, 20, was found to be over the limit when she was stopped in Manchester city centre after drinking Pink Gins with a friend she fell out with. When at the police station she was asked to provide a second, more accurate sample but she said her collagen implants made it difficult to get her mouth around the tube. Harrison, who has appeared in Ex On The Beach and has just returned from a summer in Ibiza, tried to blow four times before saying ‘my lips are too big’. As a result she was charged with failing to provide a breath sample and tried to avoid conviction by saying she was unable to blow for ‘medical reasons’. Harrison, the daughter of an engineering business owner, pleaded guilty on the day her trial was due to start. The court heard that she pulled over on June 20 in her Mini One in a taxi rank outside Piccadilly train station. She has been banned from driving for 16 months and ordered to pay £310 in fines and costs. Prosecutor Neil White said: ‘When the officers went over to speak to her, they could smell alcohol on her breath and so conducted a roadside breath test. ‘She was over the limit so she was taken to the police station. At the station, they informed her about going through to the intoximeter room and proceeded to discuss the demeanour of the defendant and how she now felt. ‘She tried to go through with it and attempted to blow four times. She told them she was anxious and nervous and when asked by the police officer if there was any reason why she couldn’t provide a sample, she said her lips were too big and she couldn’t blow into it. ‘They asked if she had any medical conditions or health conditions that could stop her doing so and she said: “No, just my lips”.’ Her lawyer Matthew Wallace said: ‘Along with the current trend, she has collagen implants in her lips which is something that caused her due difficulty in forming a seal around the tube. He added: ‘She is currently out of work, she arrived back from working abroad in Ibiza week ago. She is due to start work at a local restaurant once it opens, she is just awaiting a starting date. She lives with her parents. She is ordinarily employed. Her father sold the car the day after her arrest. Apparently he did not believe her BS. From: Bobbi Re: Forward and Back via bottom Status line Dear Webby I have IE on my computer. There were forward and back arrows at the bottom of each e-mail message that you could use to go to the next message, or back. Now they have suddenly disappeared. I have to go to the top of each message after reading it to use the arrow up there to go on to the next message. So far, IE help has been no help, telling me that this feature is cuurently not available. it was there 4 days ago. What gives? Thanks, Bobbi Dear Bobbi That must be a Hotmail feature, not a browser feature. I have never seen it on IE. Check in the Hotmail preferences. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two contafiters way up nort in Chicargo wuz makin sum contafit money an dey accidently made sum twelve dollar bill by mistake. Dey made a whole bunch of dem before dey foun dere mistake, so insted of startin over dey decide to try to pass dem off. Dey always herd how backward people in Louisiana wuz, especially dem folks name Boudreaux frum down neer Lafayette so dey jumpin dere car an drive down to Lafayette, LA an wen dey got dere dey look in da fone book an shore enuf dey fine Boudreaux's General Store an Mercantile listed rite dere in da yeller pages. Dey went to Boudreaux's store an walk up to da man at da counter. Da firs contafiter say, "Are you Mr. Boudreaux?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore, dat's me. Wat can Ah do fa you fellers?" Da contafiter wisper to his frien, "This is gonna be easier than I thought." Da contafiter say, "Can you give us change for a twelve dollar bill?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore Ah can! How you want dat, tree fores, fore trees, or 2 sixes?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins. "Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?" the doctor asks. "No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Less Wrinkles: Hang Dresses and Suits Quickly Hang your jacket up when you get home to reduce wrinkles. The heat from your body helps ease the wrinkles out of the garment as it hangs. The same goes for dresses. Also make sure clothing is not packed too tightly in the closet, or they will develop wrinkles in the closet. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Castles right out of fairy tales.
___________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
An hysterical mother phones the family's pediatrician with an emergency. "Doctor," she says, "I was writing a letter when my two-year-old came along, grabbed my fancy fountain pen and swallowed it. What should I do?" "Don't panic, I'll be right over," says the doctor. "In the meantime, what are you doing?" he asks. "I'm using a pencil."

Today October 28 in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The original
name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was the first
school of higher education in America. 

1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the American
Revolutionary War. 

1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 

1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor by
U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and is 152
feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty Enlightening the
World." 

1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use
fingerprinting. 

1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known as
the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 1933
with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 

1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government and
introduced fascism to Italy. 

1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 

1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that he
had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 

1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective
guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 

1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, was
completed. 

1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard
Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin
serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 

1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply
deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 

1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled
guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the
abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of
the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. 

1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 

1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for
a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all
the troops there would be home by Christmas. 

1996 The Dow Jones Industial Average gained a record 337.17
points (or 5%). The day before the Dow had dropped 554.26 points
(or 7%). 

2018  smiled.


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Deleting old Windows updates 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 27

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Man tasered by police for refusing 
to stop having sex with car exhaust

______________________________________________________
Today, October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
first Quakers to be executed in America. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"My fear is if North Korea nukes us, Trump is gonna get us into a war." --- Maxine Waters.......2017 "We are all born ignorant, but one must work very hard to remain STUPID!" --- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) ______________________________________________________ Q: How do we know that the democrats sent themselves bombs? A: None of them worked. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Millie We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a hundreths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen, I can slice ham so thin it is kosher." ______________________________________________________ Trash Passing is illegal in 'Bama _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Scott Malek, 24, Newton, Kansas Man tasered by police for refusing to stop having sex with car exhaust Ryan Scott Malek's was four times the legal alcohol limit when police found him in a questionable position with a parked car on May 1. Officers tried to get him to stop, but persistent Malek, from Newton, Kansas, US, kept going. Court documents show Ryan Scott Malek was charged for lewd and lascivious behaviour Malek was reportedly 'oblivious' to what he was doing, so police decided to Taser him, according to the Smoking Gun. It appears Malek had an audience of six other witnesses watching him at the time, court documents revealed. The 24-year-old was taken to hospital and given a chance to sober up. He later pleaded guilty to lewd and lascivious behaviour and was put on probation for one year. According to police arrest logs, Malek was arrested for aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon in February. From: Martin Re: Deleting Windows Updates Dear Webby Just thought of a question that would maybe be of help to others for once. Is it necessary to keep all of the Windows updates, or can some be safely deleted after a time? I have a bunch of them and can't see holding on to all of them, taking up disk space if so. Thanks, Martin Dear Martin Are you talking about UPDATES, or are you referring to Update UNINSTALL files? The UNINSTALL files are a waste of space and it is safe to delete them. The purpose of those Windows Update uninstall files is being a safety net, just in case an update is too haywire and can't be patched with a further update, and you need to uninstall it. However, Microsoft software writers are building their job security on their ability to patch the patched patches. The only Update, that was so bad, that it was necessary to uninstall it, is IE. If you are paranoid, keep the uninstall files a week, and get rid of the old ones. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Linda When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Jocelyn When my 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Making Your To-Do List Fun When your "To Do" List seems overwhelming, sit down and write FIVE THINGS on a small slip of paper. Mix up small and large tasks with one "reward" thrown in. This is now your "Flash List", do all 5 things before stopping, right in a row, in the order you have written them to WIN! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Well....this is certainly a different desert house.
___________________________________________________ Eva went to a store to buy some insecticide. "Is this good for beetles?" she asked the clerk. "No," he replied. "It'll kill 'em." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
My friend Monica is an accomplished harpist, who frequently plays for weddings, reception, parties, and other such events. She is also blond and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel, and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray- haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?"

Today October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first
Quakers to be executed in America. 

1787 The first of the Federalist Papers were published in the New
York Independent. The series of 85 essays, written by Alexander
Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, were published under the
pen name "Publius." 

1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San
Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty." 

1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York City.
It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other seven failed. 

1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed of
over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George "Western"
Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to convict him,
only two of his associates were convicted. 

1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the
first rapid-transit subway system in America. 

1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 

1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New York.


1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2 1/4". 

1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new
synthetic yarn. 

1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Grouch Marx,
premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television. 

1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had been
married on January 14, 1954. 

1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by calling
for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in Turkey. U.S.
President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the agreement. 

1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister
Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for
their progress toward achieving a Middle East accord. 

1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. prison
population had exceeded one million for the first time in
American history. 

1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points. The
stock market was shut down for the first time since the 1981
assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan. 

2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of Brazil in
a runoff. He was the country's first elected leftist leader. 

2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy
FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second largest
banking company in the U.S.

2018  smiled.


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ScreenSavers 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, October 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

DeLand man arrested for stealing over 
$50,000 in airplane parts, fuel

______________________________________________________
Today, October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Steven Wright (1955 - ) I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. --- Nancy Reagan (1921 - ) ______________________________________________________ "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the cop handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get to buy a bicycle." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The thunder god went for a ride, upon his favorite filly. "I'm Thor," he cried. The horse replied, "You forgot your thaddle, thilly." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The young lady walked over to the hospital room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!" ______________________________________________________ Noella's Swan, Bolivar, MO _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joseph Lippo, 60, DeLand, Florida DeLand man arrested for stealing over $50,000 in airplane parts, fuel A DeLand aviation business owner is accused of stripping parts from planes in order to sell them and replacing them with older parts. According to the DeLand Police Department, multiple airplane owners have been victims of the scheme. Joseph Lippo, 60, was arrested Wednesday on charges of theft of more than $10,000 from a person 65 or older and grand theft. Police said Lippo removed parts, including radios, a compass and a battery from two planes and charged the planes' owners for replacements. Lippo is also accused of stealing fuel and a life raft from one of the planes and charging the owner for repairs that police said were never performed. One of Lippo's former employees told police the suspect regularly instructed him to remove parts and fuel from the plane stored at Lippo's hangar. Officers said the parts Lippo allegedly stole appeared for resale at a consignment store in Fort Lauderdale and on Craigslist. The total cost of everything stolen is over $50,000, according to a news release. The release states the cost of the repairs that were never performed appears to equal "tens of thousands of dollars." Lippo was released from the Volusia County Jail on bond Thursday morning. He declined to comment. From: Trish Re: Screen Saver Dear Webby It occurred to me that I don't have a 'screen saver' on. I don't know if it's best to have it on or not to, I'm sure some other readers would be interested to know. I did look at the 'clock screensavers', downloaded the mickey mouse one (or all of them for all I know), it did appear after whatever time I have screen saver on for but after half an hour or so the screen went black as it usually is when I leave my computer on. Is this the 'power saving thing happening' or what? I really am not sure why one should have a 'screen saver', does it 'save the screen' or what, "please explain". Think I read once that they just take up space on the computer. Not talking about the desktop picture, just screen saver and why if you put one on the thing goes black after a short while anyway. Thanks if you can answer this. Regards to you and yours, Trish Dear Trish The screensaver makes sure that you don't burn the default desktop into the screen. With today's monitors that is not so common, but I remember when I was a mobile computer tech and taking care of the government computers in the Yukon, and seeing all the 10 inch greenie monitors clearly showing the IBM DisplayWrite 4 menu, even when turned off. A moving picture prevents that from happening. Another reason for screen savers is so that the monitor does not show your Solitaire game or Farmville or Space Wars when you are running off to get coffee. The reason your monitor eventually turns off is not because it gets tired of amusing the dust bunnies, but to reduce your electricity bill. You can set the length of time it burns electricity, after you finish doing anything on it, in the power options. A modern monitor burns very little electricity and produces very little heat. However, over the course of a year, it does amount to a noticeable amount of cash. I would recommend to set the power option for the monitor to about 2 minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?" The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing." The wife interrupts with a correction: "Six and a half weeks!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: Attack or Retreat? The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES. The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT? Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Reduce Water In Toilet Tank Place a jug or bottle filled with water and rocks in your toilet tank to reduce the amount of water used with each flush. Don't use bricks because they will dissolve over time. Make sure that all of the workings inside the tank are not hampered. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Well....this is certainly a different desert house.
___________________________________________________ A group of cannibals are hired for programming. Their manager told them, you are doing good work, but please, don't touch your collegues and eat them. We have a canteen, you can eat there. Ok, so the cannibals promised. After 6 Weeks, the manager spoke to them again: Ok we are satisfied with your work and everything, and you are behaving very well. By the way, we are missing a cleaning woman, has somebody touched her? The cannibals denied. After he left, the chief of the cannibals asks "Who is the idiot who ate that cleaning women?" One of the cannibals admitted that he did. Are you out of your mind? For six weeks now have been eating VP's and Senior managers and nobody is taking notice. How can you be so stupid as to eat a working person? ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Larry goes to see his travel agent. "Hey Larry, going away on holiday again?" "Yes, but I need to ask for something different." "Go ahead ask me." "You know last year you suggested Hawaii and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before you suggested Bermuda and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before that I went to Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes." "Well! Could you suggest something cheaper this year so that I can bring her with me and keep an eye on her?"

Today October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 

1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 

1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ.
The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc
Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 

1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 

1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz
during World War II. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The
battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the
Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 

1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 40
to 75 cents an hour. 

1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great
Britain. 

1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner from
New York City to Paris. 

1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile
Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S.
agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in
Turkey. 

1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26
years on the Peacock Throne. 

1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared,
"Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 

1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully
landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 

1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by
Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 

1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli -
head of state to visit Egypt. 

1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of a baboon after being born
with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the animal
heart. 

1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and
Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end
their arms race. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it
was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is
used to induce abortions. The French government made the company
reverse itself two days later. 

1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers.
The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice
pack. 

1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists
could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 

1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000
points. 

1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal
correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a
six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 

1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after
the company recorded its highest losses in history. 

1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which
was designed to unify the country. 

1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of
defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress.
Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 

1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister
Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 

1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th
National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York
Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest player
to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his
575th NHL game. 

1996 Federal prosecutors cleared Richard Jewell as a suspect in
the Olympic park bombing. 

1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile
warhead. 

2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a
defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract,
for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract
in history. 

2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where
separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116
hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or
gunshot wounds.

2018  smiled.


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