Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, December 27.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a 27 year old who got jailed for "Knockout Game" 
Attack On 79-Year-Old Victim
Details at International Bonehead Awards



Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.
--- Herb Cohen



LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

Ole was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then
skip a day and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next
time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds."

When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly
60 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you 
follow my instructions?"

Ole nodded, "Ya, but I tell you, I taut I vud drop dead 
dat tird day!"

"From hunger?" asked the doctor.

"No, da hunger vas one ting, but vat really got to me 
was all dat skippin!'"


Ester's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her
name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery,
she tells her closest friend that she has no money left.

The friend says, "How can that be? You told me you still had
$20,000 left just a few days before Cohen died.
How could you be broke?"

The widow says, "Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000.
And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the
temple, so that was another $5,000. The rest went for the
memorial stone."

The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? My goodness,
how big was it?"

Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats."


Thanks to Lillemor for this:


Click on the picture for the large version
Swedish Sledding

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Conrad Alvin Barrett, 27, Houston, Texas

a 27 year old who got jailed for 
"Knockout Game" Attack 
on 79-Year-Old Victim

he Texas man charged with a federal hate crime for an 
alleged “knockout game” attack on a 79-year-old black victim 
was identified by police after he showed video of the assault 
to a stranger in a restaurant--a man who turned out to be an 
off-duty arson investigator who immediately flagged down a 
cop to report the brutal crime.

A federal criminal complaint accuses Conrad Alvin Barrett, 
27, of punching the elderly man in the head on November 24 
(the blow left the victim with two jaw fractures and cost 
him three teeth). The man underwent surgery “to insert two 
metal plates in his jaw,” and spent several days in the 
hospital, according to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent 
Alfred Tribble.

Barrett, whose rap sheet includes prior convictions for 
burglary and drunk driving, is pictured in the above mug 
shot.

Barrett’s phone, which was seized by police after the tip 
from the arson investigator, contained several incriminating 
videos, including a clip showing him approaching an “elderly 
African American man” and asking, “How’s it going, man?” As 
he gets closer to the victim, “a loud smack is heard, and the 
victim falls to the ground,” reported Tribble, who added, 
“Barrett laughs, says 'knockout,' and then flees in his 
vehicle.”

Other videos on Barrett’s phone appear to show him plotting 
a “knockout” attack. “The plan is to see if I were to hit 
a black person, would this be nationally televised?” he 
comments in one clip. “In other videos, Barrett uses the 
word ‘nigger’ and states that African Americans ‘haven’t 
fully experienced the blessings of evolution,’” according 
to Agent Tribble.

Another video shows Barrett driving around a mall parking 
lot, saying that he was trying to work up the “courage” to 
play the “knockout game.” At one point, Barrett remarks 
that he had “found the perfect African American suspect,” 
but he then apparently changes his mind about attacking 
the target.

If convicted of the felony charge, Barrett faces a maximum 
of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. He is scheduled 
to make an initial appearance today in U.S. District Court 
in Houston.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Andree
Re: Why not use the flash with modern cameras?

Dear Webby,
on modern cameras the built in flash works automatically,
whenever it is needed. So why all this fuss about external
slave flashes and tripods and whatnot?
Andree

Dear Andree
Have you ever been on a small airplane and watched the shadow
of the airplane on the ground? Did you notice that for a fairly
large area around the shadow of the airplane, the trees had 
no shadows, and no contrast, and looked like flat and squashed
grass bushels? 

A camera flash does exactly the same. No side light, no shadows
and no contrast. Faces in the center have the "Deer in the 
headlights" appearance. 

That is why the better photographers have ever since the days of
the Magnesium flash pans a couple hundred years ago held the
flash as far off to the side and up as they could reach.

With cameras, that have reasonably large lenses to let in more
light, you can turn off or tape down the flash, and force them 
to re-calculate and make due with ambient light. As long as 
you are aware of where that ambient light is coming from, you
can often get away without further help. 
However, if you want to take pictures of people in a darkish
room, for example by the light of a Christmas tree, or 
candellight, then you will see that the camera lengthens 
the exposure time quite rudely. 

Most people can hold still a few seconda, but if you shake 
the camera the tiniest bit, the pictrue will be fuzzy.
That is why you need a tripod or sand baggie to totally
avoid ANY camera shake in dim lighting.

The same also goes for long zoom shots. 
Take your longest fishing rod and use it to turn a light 
switch off and on. Did you realize what kind of jittery
fumbler you are? Now imagine, that your fishing rod was
a few miles long, and how wildly you would be jittering
there. You could not paint a deer or even an elephant
on the other side of the valley. 

To get sharp pictures with long zoom shots it is a good
idea to use a tripod or small sand baggie. An old, well
worn leather purse, that is no longer slippery, and filled 
with sand or sugar, makes a great camera cushion. You can
nestle the camera into it until it points just right,
set the self timer to 3 or 5 seconds, clcick it and 
stand back.

THAT is what those short self timer settings are for,
not for sprinting around and into the pictrue.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Save Food Scraps for Chickens
If you know anyone that has chickens, save ALL your scraps, 
peelings, and fruit skins and give them to the chicken's 
owner. This keeps my garbage disposal and septic clean 
and the chickens have fruits and vegetables year round. 
Everyone is a winner!

By The Red Head from Bozeman, MT 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

The girl said to Grandpa, "I noticed that when you
sneeze, you put your hand in front of your mouth."

"Of course," explained Grandpa.
"How else can I catch my teeth???"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of the
bride, "As you give your daughter's hand to the bridegroom,
you should say something nice to him."

The father, a grocery-store manager, took the advice.
During the wedding ceremony, he placed the bride's hand
on his son-in-law's arm and said,
"No deposit, no return."


A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first
time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began
undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming
examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments
over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door
and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient
up and down carefully and appreciatively.

"Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me
that until today you have never had an eye examination."



» Longest wooden sculpture

Wishing you
a Cool Yule
ana
Frantic Foist!
 from Dianne!




Today, December 27, in
1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific 
 aboard the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage 
 helped him form the basis of his theories on evolution.
1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth 
 for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child 
 in Jefferson, GA.
1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the 
 Carey Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of 
 the liquor bottles that could be seen.
1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party.
1938 The first skimobile course in America opened in North 
 Conway, NH.
1945 The World Bank was created with an agreement signed 
 by 28 nations.
1947 The children's television program "Howdy Doody," hosted 
 by Bob Smith, made its debut on NBC.
1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to 
 Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule.
1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering 
 wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its 
 kind to be placed in service for mail delivery.
1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with 
 the loss of 13 lives.
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy 
 after 40 years of dictatorship. 
1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak 
 Karmal succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was 
 overthrown and executed.
1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and 
 Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, 
 including five of the attackers, who were killed by police 
 and security personnel.
1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the 
 Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi 
 warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace 
 over southern Iraq.
1996 Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces retook the strategic 
 air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer zone around 
 Kabul, the Afghanistan capital.
2000 Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the 
 National Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years 
 of retirement. He was the first owner-player in the modern 
 era of pro sports. Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh 
 Penguins during his retirement from playing.
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent 
 normal trade status with the United States.
2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the 
 country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable 
 of producing plutonium for nuclear weapons.
2002 Clonaid announced the birth of the first cloned human baby. 
 The baby had been born December 26.
2013  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 12 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1052 )

---

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, December 26.
Remember your elbow pads if you go watch the insanity at
the stores. Don't bother with Walmart. I heard that they
don't reduce prices for Boxing Day, the prices are set to
the maximum, that they can get away with, and they have no
intention to go below that.

However, many other stores are bound to have good fights
going on. 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a 20 year old who got jailed for Breaking a Baby's 
Leg For Interrupting his Video Game
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Has the panic subsided?
Here it hasn't but I expect things to slow down by late 
afternoon. I might even have a well deserved nap. 
I am hoping anyway.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
--- Saint Augustine

There are two types of people--
those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!'
and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'
--- Frederick L Collins

Economics is extremely useful as a form of
employment for economists.
--- John Kenneth Galbraith

A husband is like a fire,
he goes out when unattended.
--- Evan Esar



LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

Little  Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few
days. He'd been playing  outside with the other kids for
a while when he came into the house and  asked her,
"Grandma, what is that called when two people are
sleeping in  the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken  aback, but decided to tell him
the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse,  darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK"
and went back outside to talk and  play with the other
kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said
angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual  intercourse!
It's  called Bunk Beds!"

"And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to  you!!"


Officer Candidate School at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, was tough.
During an inspection, a fellow soldier received 30 demerits
for a single penny found in his area.

Ten demerits were for "valuables insecure,"
ten demerits because the penny wasn't shined,
and ten more because Abraham Lincoln needed a shave.


Thanks to Dianne for this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Paul Anthony Lajeunesse, 20, Floriduh

20 year old got jailed for Breaking Baby's 
Leg For Interrupting Video Game

A 20-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly breaking 
a four-week-old baby boy's leg while changing a diaper.

Paul Anthony Lajeunesse was charged with aggravated child 
abuse on Monday stemming from the incident on Dec. 11. 

Police claim he admits to wounding the child for crying as 
he tried to play games on an Xbox.

Lajeunesse's grandmother was babysitting at the time so the 
child's mother could attend school, CitrusDaily.com reported. 
However, the grandmother said it was Lajeunesse's 
responsibility to change diapers.

Lajeunesse was arrested and ordered not to have contact with 
the victim. It is not clear what his relationship with the 
child is, but he lives at the same address as the child and 
its mother, WTSP-TV reported.

The grandmother also said that the baby boy tended to cry 
whenever Lajeunesse changed the diapers, possibly because he 
was holding the kid's legs up too high.

He allegedly admitted to investigators that he took the infant 
into another room to change its diaper and heard a "pop" when 
he lifted a leg. After that, the leg went limp.

X-rays taken at an area hospital confirmed a fracture on the leg. 
The boy had to go through surgery and was released Dec. 13 with 
a waist cast, according to CitrusTimesOnline.com. 

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Renee
Re: Camera tripod bolt

Dear Webby,
You mentioned it once before a few years ago, but I forgot.
What type of special bolt is used on a tripod to hold the
camera? I don't have a tripod, but I want to use a
stepladder for taking the Christmas pictures. I have an
older Canon G2 with a remote control key-fob, if that
makes a difference.
Renee

Dear Renee
It makes no difference. All cameras use the common
1/4" coarse ( 1/4" x 20) bolt, no matter where the camera
was made.

The trick is to use a long bolt and a wing nut. 
Use the wing nut below a step, a washer or two above the 
step, then the camera Turn the bolt just barely
finger tight into the camera, point the camera, and then 
tighten the wing nut. Gently.



Better than bolting the camera to your ladder, bolt it to
a big alligator clamp, like they are used for welding cables
or automotive jumper cables. That gives you more ways
to adjust and aim the camera.

Considering how cheap tripods have become recenty, check out
table-top tripods. You can easily put one of them onto a 
step ladder or shelf.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fixing Pre-Lit Christmas Tree  
Here is your solution. Find the non-removable bulb with the 
white socket. It is the last one on the strand, I believe 
the "non-replacable" white bulb exists only so that you have 
to buy a new tree ever four years. :( 

You will find that it's blackened or burned and causing your 
problem.

Wiggle out the bulb, then dig out the socket with a pair of 
pliers. Be careful not to destroy the socket. Take your time, 
wiggle it loose. Stick any replacement bulb into that socket 
and, BAM, your tree will be perfect again!

By DrFriedrichs 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Recently my friend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware
store. "The owner doesn't want us hanging out with our
friends," she said. "If you stop by, tell them you're my
brother."

On my first visit I walked to the customer service desk
and asked the older woman there, "Is Karen around?"
When she looked at me quizzically, I added,
"I'm her brother."

She smiled. "What a nice surprise. I'm quite pleased to meet 
you! I'm Karen's mother."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Todd was being evaluated for mental problems and was
asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway
toward you, what would you do?"

Todd replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!"

The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?"

Todd replied, "The same place where you got that silly train."


A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices
that one of the items for sale is a large parrot.
He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it
comes up for bid he offers $50. The bidding
proceeds hot and heavy with someone always
bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot
is finally sold to him for $1,500. When he goes
to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer,
"Can the bird talk?"

The auctioneer replied,
"Who do you think was bidding against you...?"



» Cryptolocker


Merry Christmas
 from Dianne!




Today, December 26, in
1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found 
 Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor.
1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of 
 Trenton during the American Revolutionary War.
1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason.
1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium.
1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation 
 of the nation's railroads.
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing 
 dominion of Great Britain.
1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister 
 to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress.
1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the 
 North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape.
1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying 
 New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The 
 severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths.
1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow 
 the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed.
1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country 
 out of existence.
1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the 
 Palestinian Authority.
1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found 
 beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home 
 in Boulder, CO.
2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of 
 employment killing seven people. He had no criminal history.
2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement 
 was made the December 27 by Clonaid.
2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 
 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. 
 The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen 
 countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, 
 Thailand and India.
2013  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 9 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 882 )

---

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 25.
Merry Christmas!

Forgot a Christmas Gift for somebody?
Try this, download it, burn it onto a CD and 
give it to them as a gift!
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about?

It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great
grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she
was a kid. I want these stories preserved.

You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions
"bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi',"
but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers,
probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put
them all together into one e-book.

This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should
be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format,
you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the
CD with family pictures and other keepsakes,
making it a true heirloom.

I have produced a smaller version last year. This final
edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the
price down to the same $10.

The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice
Christmas gift!


Click on the
book cover
to get your copy




or click on Heirloom Christmas Book
http://webby.com/cb

You can download it and give the file as a gift!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a 19 year old 2014 Mercedes driver, who was seriously
speeding and attracted the ire of the cops to his dope.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Has the panic subsided?
Here I expect things to slow down by late afternoon.
I might even have a well deserved nap.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Always do right. This will gratify some people 
and astonish the rest.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

"Seasons Greetings" is a snowball onto the snout of a bigot.
From me to you, it's Merry Christmas!
and happy Hannukah!
--- DearWebby

The best way of removing negativity is to
laugh and be joyous.
--- David Icke



LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

>From Mina
This guy drives up to his house and where he parks is full   
of snow. So he parks in a nearby parking lot and walks back   
home to shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house.   
It takes hours to shovel, but finally done, he walks back to   
the lot to get his car. When he returns home, he finds that   
the space has been taken by some other car. He is, well,   
upset.   

What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them   
on the windshield of the offending vehicle. Police sometimes   
get involved however, when the individual vents his wrath in   
somewhat more violent means. Tires and throats have been   
slashed over this. This guy decides to get creative. 

Instead of doing the usual nasty, he got out his garden hose 
and watered the automobile down, real well. I mean, very, 
very thoroughly. Inside too! He pried open a side window wide
enough to get the hose inside. The water of course froze solid.
In between hosing the inside, he worked dilligently on the 
outside. 

When the owner returned, instead of a car, he found a mini-bus
sized Popsicle.   

There was no note incriminating anybody.


My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping   
would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.   

Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice   
while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see   
how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted   
it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards,   
scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had   
a bath."   

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager   
than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making   
the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer   
before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do   
all the rest."  




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Alain Cassagnol, 19, from long Island, now in an SC jail

Seriously Speeding while carrying dope

DECEMBER 23--An unwise motorist was arrested early today 
after a traffic stop revealed that his Mercedes-Benz 
contained frankincense, myrrh, and marijuana, according 
to South Carolina police.

Around 12:30 AM, Alain Cassagnol, 19, was spotted by a 
Myrtle Beach cop driving 103 mph in a 45 mph zone. 
Cassagnol was arrested for speeding after officers directed 
him to exit his car, a white 2014 Mercedes sedan.

When Cassagnol stepped out of the Mercedes-Benz, cops 
detected a “strong odor of marijuana emanating from his 
person.” 

Asked if he was in possession of any narcotics, Cassagnol 
“stated yes and stated the drugs were in his pants by his 
groin.” An officer then retrieved a clear baggie containing 
5.4 grams of pot.

Investigators also seized a bottle of frankincense and myrrh 
incense spray from inside the vehicle. Known as “Blunt Block,” 
the product is usually used to mask the odor of burnt 
marijuana.

Pictured in the above mug shot, Cassagnol was charged with 
speeding and marijuana possession. He is currently locked up 
in the Horry County jail on $649 bond.

The teenager, who gave his home address as a Long Island 
residence, has several social media accounts peppered with 
pot references.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Earl
Re: What to do when a link freezes the computer? 

Dear Webby,
Super great newsletter. I have a problem, a friend sent 
me a link which I clicked on and it locked up my computer. 
How can I unlock it?  hope you can help I am running 
windows 7, it asked me if I want to allow windows to make 
a change on my computer and I unpluged it. I am sending 
this from another computer.
Thanks Earl

Dear Earl 
Let's hope you unplugged it fast enough.
Until you plug it in again, there is no way to guess, 
if it got taken over by malware or not.

Try it, and tell me what happened then. You can't do any 
fixing without turning it on anyway. 

Keep in mind, you are on Juno, which has pathetically slow 
and erratic connectivity.  Quite possibly the link went to 
a site, that had a small but demanding video on it, and your 
browser just stalled. Especially if you use IE, that would 
appear as if the computer hit an iceberg and froze.

Start up normally and run a thorough malware check with a 
reputable checker like McAfee. Once all seems OK, you can 
go on as if nothing has happened, but I would stay away 
from that link, while you are on Juno.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fixing Pre-Lit Christmas Tree  
Here is your solution. Find the non-removable bulb with the 
white socket. It is the last one on the strand, I believe 
the "non-replacable" white bulb exists only so that you have 
to buy a new tree ever four years. :( 

You will find that it's blackened or burned and causing your 
problem.

Wiggle out the bulb, then dig out the socket with a pair of 
pliers. Be careful not to destroy the socket. Take your time, 
wiggle it loose. Stick any replacement bulb into that socket 
and, BAM, your tree will be perfect again!

By DrFriedrichs 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Thanks to Bernice for this story:

My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at
my bank. The operator asked me what Ian's last name was and
I explained that he hadn't left his surname. When she asked
for his department, I said I didn't know.  "There are 1500
employees in this building, ma'am," she advised me rather curtly.

After a few more brusque comments, I asked her for her name.
"Danielle," she said.

"And your last name?" I asked.

"Sorry," she replied, "we don't give out last names."

"Fine!", I told her. "Tell Ian that if he doesn't call me in
ten minutes I will blow his fu*****g ass off." 
and slammed the phone.

He called in two minutes.
-----------------------
Yeah, when a woman says "Fine!",
men know there is going to be trouble.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last,
he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most
momentous of all questions.

"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,"
he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the
companionship of another being . . . a being who will regard
one as perfect, as an idol;  whom one can treat as one's
absolute property; who will be kind and faithful when
times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows . . ."

To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes.
Then she nodded in agreement and said, " I think it's a
great idea. Of course I will help you choose a puppy dog."


A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only.
The bus stopped  and an elderly lady got on carrying a large
picnic basket. She stood right in front of the man and
grabbed the overhead rail so the picnic basket
was above the man's head.

Being a gentleman, he offered his seat to her. She quickly
declined as she was only going a short distance.

Soon the picnic basket began to leak. The man felt
something drop on top of his head. As he looked up it hit
beside his nose and ran down across his lips. He tasted it,
looked up at the lady and asked, "Pickles?"

She replied, "No, no, puppies."




» Petals and pearls




Today, December 25, in
0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome 
 by Pope Leo III.
1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England.
1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first 
 Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy.
1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the 
 Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian 
 forces at Trenton, NJ.
1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, 
 at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria.
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional 
 pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion 
 that resulted in the Civil War.
1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody 
 "The Stars and Stripes Forever."
1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed 
 an unofficial truce and even playing football together on 
 the Western Front.
1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death 
 of his father Emperor Taisho.
1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, 
 New York opened to the public.
1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese.
1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66.
1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, 
 DC, recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000.
1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. 
 Over 10,000 people were killed.
1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war.
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, 
 Elena, were executed following a popular uprising.
2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by 
 fire at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. 
 The incident occurred at the Dongdu Disco.
2013  smiled.

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---

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 24.

What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about?

It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great
grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she
was a kid. I want these stories preserved.

You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions
"bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi',"
but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers,
probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put
them all together into one e-book.

This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should
be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format,
you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the
CD with family pictures and other keepsakes,
making it a true heirloom.

I have produced a smaller version last year. This final
edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the
price down to the same $10.

The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice
Christmas gift!


Click on the
book cover
to get your copy




or click on Heirloom Christmas Book
http://webby.com/cb

You can download it and give the file as a gift!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a Floriduh Escort and her robber / killer accomplices
Details at International Bonehead Awards



Time to get serious about wtrapping or clicking!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality.
--- Clifton Fadiman (1904 - 1999)

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.
--- Louis L'Amour (1908 - 1988)


It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, 
let's do Weeweechu." 

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita. 

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love 
you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged. 

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied 
Rosita. 

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me." 

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll 
do Weeweechu." 

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang..... 
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, 
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, 
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year !
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse,
broke her leg.  As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her
not to climb any stairs.

Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.

"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.

"Yes," he replied.

"Thank goodness!" she said.  "I'm sick and tired of shinnying
up and down that stupid drainpipe!"




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Koral ben Shimon, Ilmart Christophe, Jefty Joseph in
Greenacres, Floriduh

Jailed for robbery, kidnapping, murder

A 31-year-old Coconut Creek man was kidnapped, robbed and 
killed after meeting up with a woman who advertised herself 
as an escort on Backpage.com, deputies say.

Koral Ben Shimon, 20, who wrote on the website that she was 
"looking to have an amazing time," admitted setting Gustavo 
Cabral up to be robbed by two armed men, according to a Palm 
Beach County Sheriff's Office arrest report.

He ended up shot in the head in the garage of an abandoned 
Lake Worth house, though it's not clear who pulled the 
trigger.

Ben Shimon, of Greenacres, was arrested Wednesday, joining 
alleged accomplices Ilmart Christophe and Jefty Joseph, 
who are already in jail in connection with the Dec. 1 murder. 
All are charged with homicide.

The two men, both 20 and from Lake Worth, have each blamed 
the other for the shooting, their arrest reports said. Ben 
Shimon told investigators she didn't know Christophe and 
Joseph planned to kill Cabral and wasn't there when he was 
shot. She just set Cabral up.

Cabral was forced to increase his credit card credit limit 
and then withdraw the maximum at various banks the trio 
drove him to prior to driving him to the garage, where they
killed him with five shots to the head.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon
Re: Shading Camera LCD

Dear Webby,
I just read this letter. Thanks so much for the fun.
Reading your tip on digital flash brought up a question I
have had for some time now. I find it difficult to see what
I am trying to take when taking pics in the sunlight, before
actually taking the pic. I usually have the sun at my back.
Do you have any suggestions on how I can cut the glare
on the LCD screen?
Thanks for the letter & help section.

Merry Christmas to a good friend.
Sharon

Dear Sharon
Nothing new about that. Look at a drawing or picture of a
photographer from 200 years ago. You will see them wear
a stylish Count Dracula cape, but made from lightweight,
cool black or navy satin.

You just flip that forward over your head, and the camera
is in the shade. Sure, you can do the same with a skirt if
you don't mind some extra exposure. A large sombrero can
also be helpful, and I have seen funnels made from stiff
leather, but they are very cumbersome and awkward.

You can make a cape from an old satin sheet or fake silk
scarves, and I have seen some that were white or pearl on
the outside and lined with black on the inside.

A cape made from parachute rayon "silk" folds small enough
to fit into a shirt pocket. Just don't lend your cape to another
photographer. You'll never get it back.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Work in a Soup Kitchen on Christmas
Working in a Soup Kitchen for the homeless on Christmas 
would show our kids what giving really is. I am planning 
on doing this with my family this Christmas.

By Paula from Brea, CA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

The manager of a large office noticed one of his department
heads had hired a new man, so the boss called him into his
office for a little orientation speech. "What is your name?"
he asked.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of place
you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first
name.  It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in
authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only -
Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only
as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your
last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. John Darling."

"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Asked by his teacher to spell "straight," the third-grade
boy did so without error.

"Excellent," said the teacher, "now, what does it mean?"

"Without water."


Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the
pretty girl asked, "I would like to buy this material for a
new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,
the clerk quickly measured out & wrapped the cloth, then
teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a grinning
little old lady who was standing beside her.
"Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.




» Silly 'unseasonable' Stuff:



Digital nativity




Today, December 24, in
1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music 
for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr.
1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a 
 private social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan.
1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to 
 broadcast a music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA.
1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made 
 when a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a 
 rectory in Dover.
1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport 
 ship S.S. Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 
 800 American soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the 
 English Channel to be reinforcements at the battle that 
 become known as the Battle of the Bulge.
1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied 
 in Dover, MA.
1951 NBC-TV presented, "Amal and the Night Visitors," the 
 first opera written for television.
1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of 
 Libya, under King Idris.
1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed 
 about 100lbs.
1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon.
1968 The crew of the U.S. Navy ship, Pueblo, was released 
 by North Korea. The Captain of the Pueblo, Commander Lloyd 
 M. Bucher, and 82 of his crew were held for 11 months after 
 the ship was seized by North Korea because of suspected 
 spying by the Americans.
1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and 
 Frank Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 
 times before coming back to Earth. Seven months later man 
 first landed on the moon.
1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the 
 country's Marxist government.
1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he 
 stopped smoking.
1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at 
 the Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former 
 Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the 
 Iran-Contra scandal.
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," was 
 sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 1975 
 murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese national.
2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas 
 prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. The suspects 
 killed Officer Aubrey Hawkins, stole $70,000, 25 weapons 
 and clothing. The men had escaped on December 13 and were 
 captured about a year later in Colorado.
2013  smiled.

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---

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 23.

What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about?

It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great
grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she
was a kid. I want these stories preserved.

You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions
"bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi',"
but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers,
probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put
them all together into one e-book.

This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should
be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format,
you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the
CD with family pictures and other keepsakes,
making it a true heirloom.

I have produced a smaller version last year. This final
edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the
price down to the same $10.

The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice
Christmas gift!


Click on the
book cover
to get your copy




or click on Heirloom Christmas Book
http://webby.com/cb



Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
West Point perv jailed for owning and trading 
child porn
Details at International Bonehead Awards


This morning I briefly listened to the local radio.
VERY briefly. Sunday morning I have to divvy out all my
pills for the week, and as soon as I sat down to look at
my list, which I got online, so that I can see it from 
anywhere, I clicked on Accuradio, and just for fun slected 
the FOLK channel.
The first song was "Gramma got run over by a reindeer".
What a great start of the day!
That was followed by one Sing-Along-Song after the other.
I think I'll make that channel a habit for early morning.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
--- Milton Friedman

My Grandmother is over eighty and 
still doesn't need glasses.
Drinks right out of the bottle.
--- Henny Youngman


A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the
little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that
she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her
about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box,
but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor
said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs,
the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his
wife's bedside.  She agreed that it was time that he should
know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two
crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married,"
she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
marriage was to never argue.   She told me that if I ever got
angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.
Only two precious dolls were in the box.. She had only been
angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains
the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it
come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait painted by a famous
artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings,
a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my
husband is having an affair with his secretary.
When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want her to go
nuts looking for the jewelry."




Click on the picture for the large version
Mt Shasta, I think

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Ricky Patrick Hester, 23, from Indiana

Jailed for owning and trading child porn

A West Point cadet was charged today with receiving or 
distributing child pornography after federal agents 
discovered that he swapped illicit videos with online 
contacts, one of whom he allegedly asked in an e-mail, 
“Do you trade videos of boys? I love man boy hardcore.”

During a court-ordered search yesterday of his barracks, 
Ricky Patrick Hester, 23, confessed to using an e-mail 
account (cubs_freak90@yahoo.com) to send and receive videos 
showing children engaged in sexual acts, according to a 
felony complaint filed in U.S. District Court.

Seen above, Hester, an Indiana native, also reportedly copped 
to maintaining a Dropbox account holding “20 videos and 100 
digital images containing child pornography.” If convicted 
of the felony charge, Hester faces a mandatory minimum of 
five years in prison (and a max of 20 years in custody).

The investigation of Hester was an outgrowth of an earlier 
probe targeting an e-mail address that had been used to 
“express an interest in trading” child porn. An examination 
of that account by federal agents revealed incriminating 
correspondence sent from Hester’s Yahoo account.  

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Georgina
Re: Lighting

Dear Webby,
I realize that flash ruins pictures, so what's your secret
for Christmas pictures?
Thanks
Georgina

Dear Georgina
You can use a flash, if it is a detachable or remote slave
flash, held about as far away as you can reach.
If you don't have a slave flash, get one of those rectangular
Quartz work lights, that look like an outdoor security light
but have a big alligator clip instead of a pipe mount, and
can be clipped to a stepladder or shelf. They cost about
$12 and provide a very nice and warm light.

Again, the best location for the light is an arms length to
the side of you and half an arms length higher than the
camera.

You may have seen clip-art of photographers from two hundred
years ago, holding a flash pan up and out at an arms length.
They used magnesium and gun powder in a metal dust pan for 
the flash. Because of the cost of each shot, the location
had to be perfect.

A flash on the camera might be convenient, but that just
produces the flat "deer in the headlights" shots, that
you are trying to avoid.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Put Timer on Water Heater
Why heat your water for 24 hours? Just install a Hot 
water heater timer purchased from Lowes. Set the timer 
for 1 hour before rising in the morning, preferably during 
non peak hours as designated by Utility and for 1 hour in 
the evening prior to taking showers and baths, (after Utility 
peak hours). On Saturday, or laundry day, place the manual 
setting "on" for laundry day. As the timer cycles it will 
automatically go back to the timed settings. You can 
maintain the temperature at 120 degrees while saving money.

Source: Info received from Lows Water Heater Timer 
packaging years ago.

By Larry from FL 

Nowadays, with properly insulated water heaters, that has 
become obsolete, except maybe in Europe, where they have
different electricity rates for different times of the day.

Location and insulation make a much bigger difference. Ideally
your water heater should be above the "wet" areas, kitchen,
bathroom, shower. And it should be in the hot attic, not 
in the cold basement. Also ideally, you should have one or two
old, burned out but not leaking hot water tanks up there, 
with the insulation stripped, pre-heating the water from
the hot attic air. That way the actual water heater gets
pre-heated, luke-warm water instead of ice cold water from 
the main or the well. If there is an extended power failure,
you still got luke-warm water for a few days.

Next time there is a flood or somebody has an indoor flood,
and they put their hot water tank out by the curb, because 
the inulation got wet, grab it and use it as a pre-heater.
Just strip off the insulation, give the neighborhood Rambo 
a beer to muscle it up into the attic, and connect it into 
the feed line for the hot water tank. The savings are almost
unbelievable!

While you are up there, close the attic vents, that the 
heating fuel distributor talked you into. Open them in the 
summer, but close them with an old sleeping bag or piece
of styrofoam in winter.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to
be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment
and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial
from running its proper course.

But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet
calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to
serve on the jury.

"Madam," he explained, "this is not a murder trial! It's a
simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her
husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had
promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."

"Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I 
could be wrong about capital punishment after all."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A prospective juror was being questioned by the District
Attorney for a murder trial that had been in all the papers.
"If the defendant were to be convicted tomorrow, could you
kill him for his crime ?"

"Well, no." replied the man. "But I could do it on Saturday
if that would be OK."


A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to
discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely
under water.

"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"

"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are
you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."




» National Geo Winners 2013






Today, December 23, in
1788 Maryland voted to cede a 100-square-mile area 
 for the seat of the national government. About 
 two-thirds of the area became the District of Columbia.
1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore 
 (" 'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published.
1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab', 
 better known as the Hansom cab.
1880 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Electric Light 
 Company of Europe.
1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter 
 Vincent Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe.
1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance 
 for the transport of patients was launched. The hospital 
 ship was named USS Relief and had 515 beds.
1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island 
 surrendered to the Japanese.
1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. 
 It was the first of the traditional Christmas shows.
1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley
 invented the transistor.
1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other 
 Japanese war leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been 
 found guilty of crimes against humanity and being on the 
 losing side.
1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of 
 his associates were shot for treason after a secret trial.
1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain.
1968 Eighty-two crewmembers of the U.S. intelligence ship 
 Pueblo were released by North Korea, 11 months after 
 they had been captured.
1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II 
 spacecraft on a trajectory that would take it within 66,000 
 miles of Uranus on July 24, 1986.
1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick 
 Rutan and Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, 
 around-the-world flight without refueling as it landed 
 safely at Edwards Air Force Base in California.
1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for 
 the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, 
 escaped from the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West 
 Virginia. She was recaptured two days later.
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his 
 wife, Elena, were captured as they were attempting to 
 flee their country.
1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its 
 six republics with non-Communist governments.
1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 
 170 children, during a year-end party being held near the 
 children's school.
1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges 
 of conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 
 federal building bombing in Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 
 168 people and severely injured my friend Martin.
1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets 
at northern Israel. 
2013  smiled.

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---

Switching to Firefox 

Sunday, December 22, 2013, 11:05 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 22.
Days are starting to get longer again now!



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during 
NEXT Christmas, then there is no need to hurry,
but you should get organized soon. 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
Two Florida Boneheads, who were finally
jailed for robbing an armless man
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Phyllis sent me this ICQ card:
http://dpkgi.free.fr/files/deerz2.swf

In the early days of the Internet, before everybody left ICQ
and moved to Skype as suddenly as they had moved to ICQ from 
PowWow and MSN, we used to have a pretty good time there.
Now that all the reasons, why everybody stampeded to Skype,
have evaporated, and Microsoft is trashing Skype, it is time
to consider going back to ICQ.

I went back to http://ICQ.com tonight, and after a dozen 
years away, my user name and profile was still working.
I was impressed! It will take a while to get familiar with
it again, and even longer to see who else is using it.
I found out why Skype has fixed fonts in the contact list 
and Toos / Options, and microsoft is unable to fix that
problem. Apparently the original owners of Skype copied 
those parts from ICQ, and forgot to tell Microsoft about 
that. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
--- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Today's public figures can no longer write their own 
speeches or books, and there is some evidence that 
they can't read them either.
--- Gore Vidal (1925 - )

"British scientists are now seeking permission to fuse human   
cells with rabbit eggs. Their goal is to create a human with   
a lucky foot." 
--- Jay Leno  

Your children weren't made to like you. That's
what grandchildren are for.
--- Plato

We know cellphones don't interfere with
navigation equipment on airlines, but they
sure do tick off the person sitting next to you.
--- Socratex


Pete had this problem of getting up late in the morning
and was always  late for work.  His boss was mad at him
and threatened to fire him if  he didn't do something
about it.  So Pete went to his doctor, who gave him  a
pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Pete slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the
morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and  drove
cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were 
you yesterday?"
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted
to buy an evening gown for his wife for Christmas.

"What size?" asked the clerk.

The man shrugged blankly.

Trying to help, the clerk inquired, "Well then, what are 
your wife's measurements?"

The man thought for a moment. "Small, medium, and large,
in that order."




Click on the picture for the large version
Mt Shasta, I think

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Oliver Bozeman, 25, Courtney Edge, 25 Floriduh

Jailed for robbing an armless man

Police in Florida arrested two suspects accused of stealing 
$300 from Havalah Pitts, an armless man.

The alleged robbery occurred in Pompano Beach in October, 
but the investigation culminated with the arrests of 
Courtney Edge and Oliver Bozeman, both 25, on Tuesday, 
the New York Daily News reported.

A spokesman for the Broward sheriff's office called it 
"a vile act, a new low for criminals," the South Florida 
Sun Sentinel reported.

Edge and Boozeman were charged with robbery and abusing 
a disabled or elderly adult, according to the Broward 
County Sheriff's office.

The defenseless victim was born without arms, according 
to the South Florida Sun Sentinel. 

Each man is charged with robbery and abuse to an elderly 
or disabled adult without great physical harm.

Judge Hurley ordered Edge held in lieu of $55,000 bond. 
Bozeman was held without bond because he was already 
out on bond in a different case.

Hurley said Bozeman has an extensive criminal record 
including past strong arm robberies.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Wendy
Re: Upgrade to Firefox

Hi, Webby.  
First, thanks for all the questions you answer daily in 
your Humor letter, it's been a fantastic help to me and 
I'm sure others as well.
 
I now have a question.  I'm on Sympatico, have IE 8 and 
a lot of websites tell me it's outdated and old and are 
pointing me to Firefox or Chrome.  I looked at Firefox and 
I like it to best.  My question is this, how do I change 
from IE8 to Firefox?  And how will it affect my computer?  
I'm a semi-novice at this, not an idiot, but not and 
expert!  haha
 
Hope you can help me,
Thanks for all you do,
Wendy

Dear Wendy
Sympatico has email problems, but browsing web sites is 
usually quite OK.
Upgrading from IE8, or any year IE, is easy. Just download 
FireFox and install it. It will ask you, if you want to 
bring over your favorites and cookies and stuff. Just agree 
to that, and it will all be done in a minute or so.
Then it asks you, if you want it to be your main browser.
Hit OK on that.

After that you can run it as is, or browse for free Add-Ons.
TOOLS
OPTIONS
ADDONS

For example, I use ColorfulTabs, FlagFox, YouTube-to-MP3, 
and SaveMyTabs.
There may be all kinds of others, that may eventually 
strike your fancy. There is no rush. If you feel a need 
for some Add-On, browse for it. Most likely, there is 
one just waiting. 

FireFox works quite well without any of those Add-Ons. 
For example, the FlagFox simply shows a tiny flag of 
the country, where that web site is based. Cute, but 
like all those Add-ons, usually not really necessary.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Candy Filled Canning Jar Christmas Gifts 
I always have canning jars around. At Christmas, 
I fill some with assorted Christmas colored 
candy; those star brite mints, gold and silver 
foil wrapped candies, etc.

Linda 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the 
service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man 
marry?" 

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" 

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is 
add it up, like the preacher said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


>From Bill
I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I   
bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot   
of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could   
actually get inside and ride. Instead, after hours of   
assembly on my part, he ended up played in the box it came   
in.   

It taught me a valuable lesson. Next year he got a box, and   
I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.


A guy and a girl are having a drink together in a bar. The   
man raises his glass and says, "Here's hoping you're in   
Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead!"   

"What's that mean?" asks the girl.   

"That," answers her date, "is an authentic Irish toast."   

"Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."   

"Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What's that?"   

The girl says, "That's French toast."  




» National Geo Winners 2013




Today, December 22, in
1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead 
 after his exile in France.
1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the 
 rebellious American colonies under Ezek Hopkins.
1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed 
 to force peace between Britain and France by cutting 
 off all trade with them.
1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. Sherman sent 
 a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The 
 message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift, 
 the city of Savannah."
1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of 
 treason in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges 
 of anti-Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated.
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, 
 of his wife's hand.
1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world 
 pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 
 points. She was 17 years old at the time.
1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt.
1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly 
 elected president.
1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to 
 smuggle cigarettes into Canada.
2013  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 9 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 576 )

---

Desktop shortcut to Internet Radio 

Saturday, December 21, 2013, 01:29 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, December 21.



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during 
NEXT Christmas, then there is no need to hurry,
but you should get organized soon. 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a  guy in Oklahoma who made a 
Marriage Proposal during his arrest
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Three more days to panic. 
Then you will have to get serious!
By the way, this is, always has been and 
always will remain a Merry Christmas site.

Season's Holiday is April 1, not in December.
So, save your "Season's Greetings" for four months or
risk looking really stupid.

Hannukhah is already over, that was November 27 to Dec 5.
In 2016 it will coincide with Christmas. 

Sad news from Sweden.
Lillemor wrote me just shortly before I was going to 
check the live camera.
The Yulebokken (Christmas Goat) in Gavle was burned down
just a few hours ago. 
:( 
The pranksters won, again. The expensive fire retardant was
totally useless. 


Unfortunately the people in Gavle focus on being cute.
Elin, Tiger Woods' ex. is from there. Her mother is the 
Governor. Quite cute. But not smart enough to put some
remote controlled garden hoses there and have volunteers
over the internet controll them via a cheap X-10 Internet
interface. That is apparently too Hi-Tech for people 
focusing on being cute.

They could have used a lawn sprinkler on top to cover the 
whole Yulebokken in a six foot thick coat of ice.
But for that they might have to get Ole and Sven back from
Minna-Sohta.
Sad!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
--- Russell Baker (1925 - )  

You are just as old as the woman you feel.
--- Groucho Marx


Thanks to Dianne for this comparisons between 
Christmas and Hannukha:

Jews love Dec. 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go
to movies and out for Chinese food, and Israeli dancing.
Chanukah is eight days.
It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that
falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non
Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to
consult a calendar, so we don't look like idiots. We all
have the same calendar, provided free with a donation
from either the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher,
or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida).

* Christmas is a major holiday, a Statutory (paid) holiday,
* Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most
Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat!!!

* Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume,
stereos...
* Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, 
Viagra, or a the collected works of the Rambam which looks 
impressive on the bookshelf.

* There is only one way to spell Christmas.
* No one can decide how to spell Chanuka, Chanukah, Chanukka,
Channukah,Hanukah, Hannuka, whatever.

* Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts.
* Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a
diamond ring on Chanukah, not even a fake one.

* Christmas brings enormous electric bills.

* Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared 
enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about 
not contributing to the energy crisis.

* Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come o Ye Faithful.....

* Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or 
about having a party and dancing the Hora. Of course, we 
are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were 
composed and written by Jews. And don't Barbara Streisand 
and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully? And made tons 
of money singing them?

* A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet
smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered
around in festive moods.
* A home preparing for Cha nukah smells of oil, potatoes and
garlic and onions. The home, is always full of loud people 
all talking at once about nothing anybody is interested in.

* Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies.

* Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating
potatoes and onions for latkes on Chanukah. Another
reminder of our suffering through the ages.

* Parents deliver gifts to their children during Christmas.

* Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift
any of the eight nights of Chanukah.

* The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce
names such as Mary, Joseph and Jesus.

* The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah,
Maccabee, and Matta-whatever. No one can spell it or
pronounce it the same twice in a row. On the plus side, we
can tell our friends any BS, and they believe we are
wonderfully versed in our history.

* In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
commercialized.

* The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a
minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major
holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating.
Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for...
27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your
chest, confess your sins, make everybody else feel guiltier
than you, a guaranteed good time for you and your family.
Tickets a mere $200 per person.

* Christians greet each other with "Merry Christmas" and a 
smile.

* Jews greet Christians with "Merry Christmas" and a 
smile, so that they won't be asked when Hanukhah is, or 
how it is spelled. 

Jews greet other Jews with "Nu?"and hurry on before the 
other can start complaining.
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

Thanks to Rose for this story:
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came
into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran
for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so
well that I had copies made and included one with each
of our Christmas cards.

Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look.

Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to
discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my
reflection in the mirror---
wearing nothing but a camera!




Click on the picture for the large version
Fire Blower

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Stephen Goss, 53, Hacketstown, NJ

Marriage Proposal during arrest

Reported by Moe
Talk about a marriage proposal to remember.
An Oklahoma man proposed to his girlfriend last week while 
an officer tried to arrest him on two outstanding warrants.

An officer spotted Justin Harrel of Elk City in a local 
park last Friday and discovered that he had outstanding 
warrants out of two counties for obtaining cash or 
merchandise by bogus check, according to court documents.

Police said Harrel resisted arrest at first.

"I advised Justin that he was under arrest and directed 
him to turn around and place his hands behind his back," 
the officer wrote in his police report. "Justin said, 
'Steve, let's talk about this. Give me five minutes.'"

When the officer took him into custody, Harrel explained 
that he was about to propose to his girlfriend. He asked 
if he could go ahead with the proposal.

The officer allowed Harrel to complete the marriage 
proposal, and Harrel's girlfriend eventually said yes. 
Harrel then asked the officer to get the engagement 
ring from his coat pocket and give it to her.

The officer handed the ring to the girlfriend.

Harrel was not cited for resisting an officer.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Molly
Re: Desktop Shortcut to internet Radio

Dear Webby
Thank you very much for posting
the link to accuradio.  I enjoy
listening to the music from the 60's.
My question is..
Is there a way I can make a short
cut to have the link on my desktop?
is it possible?

Thanking you in advance.

Molly.

Dear Molly!
That is really easy!
1) locate a free spot on the desktop, that you can get to, when the browser is open. 

2) Go to http://accuradio.com
 and there to your favorite channel

3) Look at the left corner of the address bar on the browser. You will see an icon there. 

4) Drag that icon to your free spot on the desktop

That is all there is to it!
You can, of course, move that icon around, and if your Taskbar is unlocked, even drag it onto the Taskbar.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Cutlery Tray for Desk Drawer Organizer
Ever wondered what other uses cutlery trays have? I cheaply 
sourced one at a garage sale recently with an extra sliding 
top tray which lifts off. I ended up using it to store/
organize stationary bits and pieces in a drawer in our 
computer room. Before this I was going to use it in my 
make-up/hair accessory drawer.

By Knitwit 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

A certain tax attorney took on a very complex
case of tax evasion for a rather mysterious
client. He devoted over a year to the case,
familiarizing himself with every loophole and
angle of current legislation, and made a
brilliant argument before the court.

His client was called out of town when the jury
returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for
his client on every count.  Flushed with victory,
the lawyer exuberantly cabled his client, "Justice
has triumphed!"

A realistic fellow, the client immediately wired
back, "Appeal at once!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a 
minister when I grow up." 

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" 

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, 
than to sit and listen."


After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us
brought up in a good Christian home,
but I want to stay with you guys instead!"




» Eggnog




Today, December 21, in
1620 The "Mayflower", and its passengers, pilgrims from 
 England, landed at Plymouth Rock, MA.
1898 Scientists Pierre and Marie Curie discovered the 
 radioactive element radium.
1944 Horse racing was banned in the United States until 
 after the end of World War II.
1945 U.S. Gen. George S. Patton died in Heidelberg, 
 Germany, of injuries from a car accident.
1948 The state of Eire (formerly the Irish Free State) 
 declared its independence.
1968 Apollo 8 was launched on a mission to orbit the moon. 
 The craft landed safely in the Pacific Ocean on December 27.
1971 The U.N. Security Council chose Kurt Waldheim to 
 succeed U Thant as secretary-general.
1988 270 people were killed when Pan Am Boeing 747 exploded
 over Lockerbie, Scotland, due to a terrorist attack.
1991 Eleven of the 12 former Soviet republics proclaimed 
 the birth of the Commonwealth of Independent States.
1995 The city of Bethlehem passed from Israeli to 
 Palestinian control.
1998 A Chinese court sentenced two dissidents to long prison
 terms for attempting to organize an opposition party.
1998 The first vaccine for Lyme disease was approved.
2002 Larry Mayes was released after spending 21 years in 
 prison for a rape that he maintained that he never committed. 
 He was the 100th person in the U.S. to be released after 
 DNA tests were performed. 
2013  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 14 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 629 )

---

How to deal with telemarketers 

Friday, December 20, 2013, 11:52 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, December 20.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during 
THIS Christmas,
then you better hurry! 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to NJ drunk who
showed up impaired for the drivers license road test
Details at International Bonehead Awards


No UFO tonight. Sky was clear, but they seem to have gone,
turned their lights off, or are simply not reflecting the 
moon tonight. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, 
but deep down I know that's not true. 
Some smaller countries are neutral.
--- Robert Orben


One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and
tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied,
"I'm not going."

"Why not?" she asked.

I'll give you two good reasons," he said. 
"One, they don't like me,
and two, I don't like them."

His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU
SHOULD go to church.
(1) You're 57 years old, and
(2) you're the pastor!"
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go
home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny
in the arms of another man.
He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you 
got to be messing with my wife?"

The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am
in love with Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand
you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit
down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll
never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce
her.... Okay?"

"Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little 
more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a point?"




Click on the picture for the large version
Fire Blower

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Stephen Goss, 53, Hacketstown, NJ

Showed up drunk for drivers license road test

A Hackettstown man is accused of trying to take his drivers
license road test while drunk, police said.

Officer Daniel Novoa was dispatched to the Motor Vehicle 
Commission office on Canfield Avenue on Dec. 11 after a 
test instructor detected a strong odor of an alcoholic 
beverage emanating from 53-year-old Stephen Goss, 
police said.

Goss had allegedly driven his vehicle from Hackettstown 
to the office and when the instructor thought she smelled 
alcohol on his breath, she contacted her supervisor, who 
had another employee contact police.

Novoa arrived at the scene and found Goss behind the wheel 
with the engine running, waiting to take the test, 
police said.

He was not allowed to take the test but was asked to perform 
the standardized field sobriety test before he was charged 
with driving while intoxicated and reckless driving, 
police said.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Brett
Re: Telemarketers

Dear Webby
You posted a good way to deal with telemarketers at one time.
They did not bother me in those days, so I did not pay
attention. My whole life seems to be like that.
Can you please tell us again?
Thanks
Brett

Dear Brett
When I get a call, I mute the Internet radio from
http://accuradio.com
If the call is from a  typical call center, either an
888 or similar number, or a forged name like
"COLORADO", I click the phone onto speaker-phone mode.
I don't have a girlfriend named COLORADO, actually, until
I win the lottery, I don't realistically expect to have
a girlfriend.

When the telemarketer finally talks, I wait for a break,
then tell him "Please Hold!" and click the Internet Radio 
off the Mute. Pretty snazzy HOLD music!
He probably works for a company, that intends to put me 
on hold, if I ever want anything.

While the telemarketer waits for me to take him off the HOLD,
I continue working. Eventually he will give up and go bother
somebody else.

There is no point getting all riled up. Just put them on 
HOLD and grin.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keeping Kitty Out of Your Christmas Tree
I have been dealing with my year old kitty climbing into 
and knocking over my Christmas tree until I came up with 
this idea!

I blew up balloons and added them to the tree!
She jumped in and accidentally popped one causing her to 
jump off immediately!

It stopped her from jumping into it again, so now I can 
finish decorating it, but I think I will still leave some 
in the tree, just in case.

:D
By Donna 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to
the man, ''Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.''
The man groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became impatient.

''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm
going to have to call the manager.''

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher
who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search
of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the
manager returned and stood over the man. Together the
two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no
success.

Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the
situation briefly.

''All right buddy, what's your name?''
''Sam,'' the man moaned.

''Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked.

''The balcony.''




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Thanks to Rheta for sending this poem:

When I was very little,
All the Grandmas that I knew
All walked around this world,
In ugly grandma shoes.

You know the ones I speak of,
Those black clunky heeled kind,
They just looked so very awful
That it weighed upon my mind,

For I knew, when I grew old,
I'd have to wear those shoes,
I'd think of that, from time to time
It seemed like such bad news.

I never was a rebel,
I wore saddle shoes to school.
And next came ballerinas
Then the sandals, pretty cool.

And then came spikes with pointed toes,
Then platforms, very tall,
As each new fashion came
I wore them, one and all.

But always, in the distance,
Looming in my future, there,
Was that awful pair of ugly shoes,
The kind that Grandmas wear.

I eventually got married
And then I became a Mom.
Our kids grew up and left,
And then their children came along.

I knew I was a Grandma
And the time was drawing near,
When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes
Was what I'd have to wear.

How would I do my gardening?
Or take my morning hike?
I couldn't even think about
How I would ride my bike!

But fashions kept evolving,
And one day I realized
That the shape of things to come
Was changing, right before my eyes.

And now, when I go shopping
What I see, fills me with glee.
For, in my jeans and Reeboks
I'm as comfy as can be.

And I look at all these teenage girls
And there, upon their feet
Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes,
And they really think they're neat.


As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each
of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young
Patrick Murphy.
"Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?", she
asked.

Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, me and my
twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we
sing hymns, then we come home very late, and we put mince
pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all
excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come
with all our toys".

"Very nice Patrick", she said.
"Now, Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?"
"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mom
and Dad and we sing carols, and we get home ever so late.
We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our
stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring
our presents."

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting
to leave him out of the discussion, she asked,
"Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"

Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes
home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we
drive to his toy store. When we get inside, we look at all the
empty shelves and begin to sing
'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'.
Then we all go to the Bahamas."




» Natural Snowflakes




Today, December 20, in
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set 
 sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the 
 start of the first permanent English settlement in America.
1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be 
 changed from September 1 to January 1.
1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States 
 began operating at Pawtucket, RI.
1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included 
 the purchase of the Louisiana Territories from France for 
 $15 million. The transfer was completed with formal 
 ceremonies in New Orleans.
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year.
1864 Confederate forces evacuated Savannah, GA as Union Gen. 
 William T. Sherman continued his "March to the Sea."
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent 
 light at Menlo Park, NJ.
1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" 
 when it was lighted by electricity.
1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the 
 pneumatic tire.
1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME.
1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope 
 television system.
1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare 
 between Vietnam partisans and French troops began.
1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to 
 West Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It 
 closed again on January 6, 1964.
1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, 
 a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector 
 off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion.
1989 General Noriega, Panama's dictator, was overthrown by a 
 United States invasion force invited by the new civilian 
 government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause.
1994 Marcelino Corniel, a homeless man, was shot and mortally 
 wounded by White House security officers. He had brandished 
 a knife near the executive mansion.
1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, 
 Colombia, crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of 
 the 163 people aboard.
1996 Doctors reported that a Cypriot woman who had taken 
 fertility drugs was carrying about 11 embryos.
1998 In Houston, TX, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to the 
 only known living set of octuplets.
1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples 
 were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded 
 couples of the opposite sex.
1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred 
 from Portugal to China.
2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance 
 the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan.
2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan 
 to help the nation heal after decades of war.
2013  smiled.

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---

Which Internet Radio? 

Thursday, December 19, 2013, 01:53 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, December 19.



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during 
THIS Christmas,
then you better hurry! 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a drunk
who was jailed for slugging his mother, because he
was too stupid to understand why there was no ornament
with his name.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


No UFO tonight. Somehow, they don't seem to like blizzards,
or maybe their lights are just not made to shine through
an earthly blizzard. If the lights I saw were just the moon
reflecting off two big windows or shiny sections, then of
course I can't expect them to get through the blizzard any
more than the moon does. We'll see tomorrow.

I sure could have used their help getting my wheelie-bin
out of a three foot high snow drift and through a few two-
footers down to the street. No such luck. So I went and 
asked Curt, the local Rambo for help. No problem!

More town names from James:
Ramsbottom, England
Dickshooter, Idaho
Assless, Scotland
Cockgag, Ohio
Bird In Hand, Pennsylvania
French lick, Indiana
Hornytown, North Carolina

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; 
it has to be made, like bread, 
remade all the time, made new.
--- Ursula K. LeGuin

Let thy speech be short, 
comprehending much in a few words.
--- Aprocrypha


Minister at a funeral service, 
"Friends, let us say goodbye
to our beloved, departed friend. 
Let us remember that here
lies only the shell--
the nut has gone!"
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

>From Red
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross   
the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged   
co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer   
was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when   
the light is red.   

She responded, "Amazing! In a blizzard like this, nobody
sees much more than the blind people, so that buzzer
gives blind drivers a cool advantage!"  

I don't want to be out there if and when she is driving! 


Thanks to Terry for this picture of her 
favorite Squirrel: Ferby5


Click on the picture for the large version
Sandie's Rainbow

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Andrew Sosa, 

Jailed For Leaving 4-Month-Old Daughter 
In Car While He Enjoyed Strip Club

Bad dad of the year nominee Andrew Sosa left his 4-month-old 
daughter in the car, covered in vomit and dehydrated, while 
he went to a Florida strip club, police say.

Sosa, 21, was arrested and charged with child neglect late 
Friday when a witness in Fort Myers saw the baby inside a 
locked car at Lookers strip club, according to the News-
Press. The witness flagged down an officer, who was forced 
to smash a window to get the baby out when he couldn't find 
a caretaker nearby.

The baby was reportedly sweating and sick. She was taken 
to a nearby hospital to be treated for dehydration, NBC-2 
in Fort Myers reports.

Meanwhile, Sosa was allegedly at Lookers. Police say he 
left the victim in the car for more than three hours, but 
the baby's uncle refutes the claim. 

Sosa appeared in court Saturday, and his bond was set at 
$100,000, according to the New York Daily News.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Helen
Re: Internet Radio

Dear Webby
Thank you so much for your newsletter.  
I have misplaced the link to the online radio you spoke 
about.  Will you please let me know where it is 
located?  
 
Thanks again
Helen

Dear Helen
I use Accuradio
http://accuradio.com

They have countless channels and you can further 
customize your channels by banning artists, 
that you don't like.
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Christmas Tree Tips 
If you buy a natural tree, check the ends of the needles. 
Rub some of the sprigs between your fingers. If needles 
fall off, the tree is already dry. If not, it's a 
good one. 

Cut 1 inch or so off the bottom before you put it into the 
stand, this will allow it to soak up more water and it will 
last longer. Keep the water level in your tree stand deep 
enough to cover the cut base of the trunk, so it can continue 
to absorb water. If the cut end of the base dries out, the 
tree will dry out very quickly, too. 

Try to keep the water level steady. In the first week, a 
tree in your home will draw up as much as a quart of water 
per day. Aspirin, sugar, or commercial mixes added to the 
water do not appear to really help your tree last much 
longer. Just keep it watered.

Jane 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

When I worked for the security department of a large retail   
store, my duties included responding to fire and burglar   
alarms. A side door of the building was wired with a   
security alarm, because it was not supposed to be used by   
customers. Nevertheless they found the convenience of the   
exit tempting. Even a sign with large red letters, warning   
"Alarm will sound if opened," failed to deter people from   
using it.   

One day, after attending to a number of shrieking alarms,   
I placed a small handmade sign on the door that totally   
eliminated the problem: 
"Wet paint." 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


>From Alex
Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at   
Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into town to get my haircut.   
The hairdresser noticed my accent and asked where I was   
from.   
"Trinidad," I said.   

"Is that in Arabia?"   

"The Caribbean."   

She laughed, "Sorry, I never was very good at geometry."   


Even Mother Superior knew good milk when she drank it.
The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last
journey comfortable.

They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.

Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift
the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a
generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her
lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and
before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down
to the last drop.

"Mother," the nuns asked with humility, "please give us
some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her
face said, "Don't sell that cow."




» Natural Snowflakes




Today, December 19, in
1154 Henry II became King of England.
1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots 
 and the Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion.
1732 Benjamin Franklin began publishing "Poor Richard's Almanac."
1776 Thomas Paine published his first "American Crisis" essay.
1777 General George Washington led his army of about 11,000 
 men to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter.
1842 Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S.
1843 Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first 
 published in England.
1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones.

1887 Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles 
 fight which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes. 
 The fight was ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness.
1903 The Williamsburg Bridge opened in New York City. It 
 opened as the largest suspension bridge on Earth and remained 
 the largest until 1924. It was also the first major 
 suspension bridge to use steel towers to support the main 
 cable.
1907 A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed 239 
 workers.
1957 Air service between London and Moscow was inaugurated.
1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the 
 Apollo program of manned lunar landings.
1984 Britain and China signed an accord returning Hong Kong 
 to Chinese sovereignty on July 1, 1997.
1986 The Soviet Union announced it had freed dissident Andrei 
 Sakharov from internal exile, and pardoned his wife, 
 Yelena Bonner.
1989 U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of 
 General Noriega.
1996 The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize 
 Black English, also known as "ebonics." The board later 
 reversed its stance.
1997 "Titanic" opened in American movie theaters.
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two 
 charges of perjury and obstruction of justice by the 
 U.S. House of Representatives.
1998 A four-day bombing of Iraq by British and American 
 forces ended.
2000 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose sanctions on 
 Afghanistan's Taliban rulers unless they closed all terrorist 
 training camps and surrender U.S. embassy bombing suspect 
 Osama bin Laden.
2003 Images for the new design for the Freedom Tower at the 
 World Trade Center site were released. The building slopes 
 into a spire that reaches 1,776 feet.
2008 U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion 
 rescue package of loans for ailing auto makers 
 General Motors and Chrysler. 
2013  smiled.

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---

PeoplePC putting good mail into Spam 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013, 11:56 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 18.



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas,
then you better hurry! 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a drunk
who was jailed for slugging his mother, because he
was too stupid to understand why there was no ornament
with his name.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


On my walk tonight I saw what looked like a UFO. 
No it was not the moon, if anything, it looked like the 
moon was reflecting off 2 fairly large surfaces on it.
The two reflecting surfaces, or lights with a cool, 
moon like hue, were one above the other, with the lower 
one about half that vertical distance offset towards 
the north. Those reflections or lights did not move during
the 15 minutes, that they were in my field of view during
my walk.

It did not surprise me, that the mystery lights were at
the same direction as where I saw and photographed that
alien laser a couple of months ago.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
--- Unknown

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up
- they have no holidays.
--- Henny Youngman


>From Donnie

God  said,                 
'Adam, I Want you to do something for Me.'
Adam said,  'Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to  do?' 

God  said, 'Go down into that valley.'

Adam said, 'What's a valley?' 

God  explained it to him. Then God  said, 'Cross the river.'

Adam said, 'What's a river?' 

God  explained that to him, and then said, 
'Go over  to the hill....' 

Adam said, 'What  is a hill?' 

So, God  explained to Adam what a hill was. 

He told  Adam, 'On the other side of the hill you will 
find a cave.' 

Adam said, 'What's a cave?' 

After God  explained, He said, 'In the cave you will find 
a woman.' 

Adam said, 'What's a woman?'

So God explained that to him too. 

Then, God  said, 'I want you to reproduce.' 

Adam said, 'How do I do that?' 

God first said (under His breath),  'Geez.....' 
And then, just like everything else, God explained that 
to Adam as  well. 

So, Adam goes  down into the valley, 
Across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and 
finds the woman. 

Then, in about five minutes, he was back. 

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, 
'What is  it now?' 

And Adam  said:
'What's a headache?'
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

Frederick II, the eighteenth-century king of Prussia, fancied
himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he
was.  On one occasion he is supposed to have interested
himself in conditions in the Berlin prison and was escorted
through it so that he might speak to the prisoners.  One after
the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him,
bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter
innocence of all charges that had been brought against them.

Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's
curiosity was aroused.
"You," he called.  "You there."

The prisoner looked up.  "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Why are you here?"

"Armed robbery, Your Majesty."

"And are you guilty?"

"Entirely guilty, Your Majesty.  I deserve my punishment."

At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and
said, "Warden, release this guilty wretch at once.  I will not
have him here in jail, where, by example, he will corrupt 
all the splendid innocent people who occupy it."




Click on the picture for the large version
Sandie's Rainbow

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Lewis, Atwood, 33, Casco, Michigan

Jailed For Punching Mother In Face 
While Decorating Christmas Tree

A Michigan man repeatedly punched his mother in the face 
while decorating the family Christmas tree after noticing 
that “there was an ornament with his brother’s name on it 
and that there were no ornaments with his name,” according 
to police.

Cops responded to a home in Casco Township late Friday night 
after a 911 call was placed from the residence. While nobody 
was on the line, a dispatcher heard “yelling and screaming 
in the background and a woman screaming ‘You are hurting me,’” 
deputies reported.

An investigation by the Allegan County Sheriff’s Office 
determined that Lewis Atwood, 33, slugged his mother Sandra, 
58, in the face “four or five times” while trimming the 
Christmas tree with his girlfriend and brother. Police allege 
that the accused assailant was drunk and became incensed 
after discovering that only his younger sibling’s name 
appeared on an ornament.

Sandra Atwood suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye, and swollen 
lip during the attack by her son, who had “minor injuries to 
his knuckles and hands that would be consistent with this 
type of assault,” deputies reported.

Atwood, pictured above, was arrested for domestic violence 
and booked into the county jail, where he is locked up in 
lieu of $5000 bond.
------------
I hope Santa or anybody else is not going to bail him out!

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Ev
Re: Newsletter in spam folder

Dear Webby's Humor Letter - Daily Newsletter
Hi---I think I am subscribed to your "Webby" newsletter and =
humor......However, the copy you sent ended up in my Spam
section and I jsut discovered it...Can you find a way to 
bypass the Spam problem for me....I would enjoy the 
newsleter..
Ev

Dear Ev
All I do is write and send the Humor Letter out to you.
Once it has entered the Peoplepc.com server, there
is nothing more that I can do about it.

How you set your spam controls, that is entirely up to you.
If you want, you can contact Peoplepc support and get them
to help you correct your spam control settings.
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reuse Produce Bags for Food Storage

The clear fruit and veggie bags that I get at the grocery 
store (the ones in the fresh produce section that are on 
a roll) make excellent freezer bags. Because they're thin, 
I double them up. And because they're usually too long for 
my need, I simply tie a knot where I need it and snip off 
the remaining tail. 

Source: Living on a tight budget.
By Mlina from Amherstburg, ON

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

An Irishman walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round
for everyone, on me!"  The bartender says, "Well, Murph,
seems you're in a really good mood tonight, hm?"

Murphy says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired
by the city to go around and remove all the money
from parking meters.  I start on Monday!"

The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to
pour the round.

Monday evening arrives.  Murphy comes back into the bar
and says
"Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over
having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be
when you get your paycheck!"

Murphy looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his
face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, 
and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"
 



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where
I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would
mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for
my cousin," she apologized, "who's eight months pregnant and
can't get out much anymore." I cheerfully agreed and, driving
to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the
sister-to-be, answered.

"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?"
Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have
a delivery for her."

The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!"
she shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"


Cajun math
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three
sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest
boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the
youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty
of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and
drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17,
making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the
second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got
one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle,
having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove
home.




» Silent Monk Chorus




Today, December 18, in
1787 New Jersey became the third state to ratify the U.S. 
 Constitution.
1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New 
 York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and 
 Crippled.
1865 Slavery was abolished in the United States with the 
 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution being ratified.
1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 km/h).
1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by 
 the U.S. for an annual rent.
1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was 
 announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953.
1916 During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the 
 French defeated the Germans in the Battle of Verdun.
1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western 
 Europe, including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary.
1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations.
1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania 
 went online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate 
 electricity in the United States. It was taken out of 
 service in 1982.
1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates.
1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for 
 murder.
1970 Divorce became legal in Italy.
1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of 
 North Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 
 12 days later.
1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in 
 London.
1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time 
 by Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph.
1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point 
 in the 34th game of the season.
1996 Despite a U.N. truce, factional fighting in the Somali 
 capital of Mogadishu, broke out in which at least 300 fighters 
 and civilians were killed.
1998 The U.S. House of Representatives began the debate on the 
 four articles of impeachment concerning U.S. President Bill 
 Clinton. It was only the second time in U.S. history that 
 process had begun.
1998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the 
 U.S. attacks on Iraq.
1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution 
 since capital punishment was restored.
2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The 
 cathedral is the largest in the United States.
2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its 
 Saab brand.
2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law 
 with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company 
 a $14,300-a-day fine until it rids its search engine of the 
 literary extracts.
2009 James Cameron's movie "Avatar" was released in the United 
 States. On January 26, the movie became the highest-grossing 
 film worldwide. 
2013  smiled.

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---

When mail size is restrictred 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013, 09:58 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 17.



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas,
then you better hurry! 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a
Mother Jailed for huffing whippets 
and passing out with child in car
Details at International Bonehead Awards


From Nanarina:
Fox hunting under the snow

More town names from James:
Blue Ball, Idaho
Long Dong, China
Spread Eagle, Wisconsin.
Mary's Inlet, Canada
Humptulips, Washington


The 50 most insane driving laws.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















The greatest of faults, I should say, 
is to be conscious of none.
--- Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)


Henry Kissinger once asked Chou En-Lai to theorize on what 
might have happened if Nikita Khrushchev had been 
assassinated instead of John F. Kennedy.
After a moment's thought, Chou En-Lai answered: "I don't 
believe Mr. Onassis would have married Mrs. Khrushchev."
 


LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes
They Are All Original, Rich, Raw
Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy
Yet So Easy To Make!
Our original chocolate recipes have all the 
delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence 
of what you love about chocolate, 
but with an amazing twist.

A man asked for a divorce. The judge asked him why
he wanted a divorce. He replied, that he lived
in a Two Story House.

The Judge replied, "What kind of a reason is that?
What is the big deal about a two story house?"

The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is:
'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's
that time of the month.'"

"Granted."




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, Tampa, Floriduh

Jailed for huffing whippets 
with child in car

A Florida mom was nonchalant when cops questioned her about 
her alleged use of "whippets" in her car while her 1-year-old 
child was in the back seat. Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, passed out 
after huffing the contents of one of the small containers, 
which usually contain nitrous oxide, police told The Tampa 
Tribune.

A passerby in Bradenton noticed Lee asleep at the wheel at 
an intersection, and offered to drive her to a safe location, 
WTSP reports. Lee agreed. The witness also called a friend 
of Lee's to check on her, and that friend ended up calling 
police. He reportedly told officers that Lee was "doing 
whippets" in front of him.

When officers arrived, they reportedly found small canisters 
at the suspect's feet and in her seat. A subsequent search 
revealed 20 more of the canisters. The child was unharmed.

Police say she admitted to doing whippets and falling asleep 
at the wheel. She allegedly told them, "I was tired and it 
happens."

She was uncooperative when they arrested her. She was charged 
with felony child neglect, My Fox Tampa Bay reports.
--------
Whippets can be the huff of Nitrous Oxide (Laughing gas) in
Whipped Cream cans, but they can also be the gas cartridges
for refillable whipped cream makers. Since she actually 
passed out, she most likely was using the cartridges. They
can be "popped" with a thumbtack. 

Huffing laughing gas can be fun at a stag party, especially 
when alternated with huffs of helium to produce a Donald Duck
voice, but should never be done without supervision, and
especially not in a vehicle!

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Beverly
Re: Mail Size Restrictions

Hi Dear Webby,
I have a problem.  The server that my ISP uses has restricted
the size of each email that we can receive and now I am
having trouble receiving any email with pictures.  I wondered
if you can give me a referral to Gmail?  The Service Tech
from my ISP said he thought you could receive any size email
through it, and I have read several times in the Humor Letter
where you speak pretty highly of it.  I went to Google and read
about it and really would like to try it.  I hope you can help me.
Thanks!
Beverly M

Dear Beverly
Just go to http://gmail.com
It will guide you through the sign-up.
You don't need referrals any more.

Yes, with Gmail there are no kindergarten limits.

Just take your time to customize it to your liking,
and you'll be quite happy with it.
Also go into Settings, Filters, and get comfortable with
making filters. Gmail has very strong spam filtering,
and you have to exclude important stuff. 
For example, if I write about how to get rid of some malware,
it will likely consider that to be evil spam and dump it
into the Spam folder. Just make a filter to tell it that
mail from humor@webby.com should never be put into SPAM.

Do the same with the addresses of utility companies, 
banks, etc. 

You can even use Gmail with regular POP programs
like Eudora or Outlook, not just with it's web interface.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Persian Lamb 

This recipe is easy to make and has lots of flavor. 
I have made this dish for a number of parties and 
it is always a crowd pleaser. 
Ingredients:
2 to 3 lbs. boneless lamb, cubed 
4 cloves chopped garlic 
1 (6 oz.) can chickpeas 
2 Tbsp. tomato paste 
1 large bunch flat leaf parsley, cleaned and chopped 
juice of 2 large lemons 
1/2 tsp. salt 
1/4 tsp. pepper 
Directions:

Brown Lamb and add to crock pot with all remaining 
ingredients. Cook 6 to 7 hours on low or 4 to 5 hours 
on high until meat is tender. I like to serve this dish 
over basmati rice.

Note: This recipe can be prepared the night before. 
Just take the crock pot out of the fridge in the morning 
and turn the crock pot on!

Servings: 6 to 8 
Time: 20 Minutes Preparation Time
6 to 7 Hours Cooking Time 

By Pamela from South Hadley, MA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They
loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After
driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible
blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and
asked the attractive lady of the house if they could
spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid
the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in
the barn."

Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's
attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and
said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at
the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night,
go up to the house and have sex with her?"

"Yes, I have to admit that I did."

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her
your name, and give her one of MY business cards?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid 
I did."

"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
 



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Despite warnings from his guide, an American skiing in Swit-
zerland got separated from his group and fell into a deep
crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party found the
hole, and to reassure the stranded skier shouted down to
him, "We're from the Red Cross"

"Sorry," the imperturbable American echoed back,
"I already gave at the office!"


Elmer Fudd and his buddy Sam are out in the woods hunting 
wascally wabbits...when suddenly, Sam grabs his chest and 
falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; 
his eyes are rolled back in his head.

Elmer whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to 
the operator, "I tink Sam is dead! What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, "Just take it 
easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure 
he's actually dead."

A silence follows...and then a shot is heard.

Elmer's voice comes back on the line: "Okay...now what?





» Northern Lights




Today, December 17, in
1777 France recognized American independence.
1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the 
 first street to go "One Way."
1830 South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia.
1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his 
 paper-twine machine.
1903 The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight 
 took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright 
 made the flight.
1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled by 
 its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the 
 Rio de la Plata (3 British battle ships against the Graf Spee) 
 off Uruguay to an end.
1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of excluding 
 Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which ensured that 
 Japanese-Americans were released from detention camps.
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas 
 intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time.
1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by 
 concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial 
 spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings.
1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when Arab 
 guerillas hijacked a German airliner.
1975 Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her 
 attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford.
1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end of 1979.
1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient of a heart, 
 lungs, and liver transplant.
1986 Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. 
 He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime 
 Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos 
 Salinas de Gortari signed the North American Free Trade 
 Agreement.
1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese 
 territory in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected 
 militants.
1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage 
 at the Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on 
 April 22, 1997, with a commando raid that resulted in the 
 deaths of all the rebels, two commandos and one hostage.
1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. 
 The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that 
 they took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted 
 works and downloading them from the Internet.
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have 
 ready for use within two years a system for protecting American 
 territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks.
2002 McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first 
 quarterly loss in its 47-year history.
2002 The insurance and finance company Conseco Inc. filed for 
 Chapter 11 protection. It was the third-largest bankruptcy 
 in U.S. history.
2002 Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed 
 a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war.
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law the largest 
 overhaul of U.S. intelligence gathering in 50 years. The bill 
 aimed to tighten borders and aviation security. It also created 
 a federal counterterrorism center and a new intelligence director.
2013  smiled.

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---

Cause for missed or not missed letters 

Monday, December 16, 2013, 10:57 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 16.

More towns for the list of wacky town names
sent in by James:

Hooker Hole, LA
Smackass Gap, NC
Muff, Ireland
Big Beaver, Pennsylvania
Erect, NC
Big Knockers, England
Nipple, Utah

Have FUN!
DearWebb





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.

If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas,
then you better hurry! 



Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a preacher for allegedly raping two underage girls.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


From Nanarina:
Fox hunting under the snow

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled 
together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.
--- Dave Kellett

It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true 
that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually 
attracted by other things than power.
--- David Brin. 1950 - 


A Classic brought back by Donnie:
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his 
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, 
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't 
even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he 
was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
 
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first 
thing he sees Is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of 
water on the side table and, next to them, a single red rose!! 
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all 
clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that 
it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. 

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes 
when he Sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the 
bathroom mirror.
 
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror 
written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark 
from his wife in lipstick: 
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, 
I left early to get groceries to make
You your favourite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling!
Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is 
hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. 
His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. 

Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 a.m., pissed out of your mind, 
you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you 
puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you 
stumbled into the door. All in all, one hell of a 
performance Dad."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such 
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast 
is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, 
and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed.... 
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
 


 

>From Amanda
Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my   
husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that   
he'd fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the   
building.   

"But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the   
sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up."   

"I didn't get fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was   
fired for wearing my earplugs."   




Click on the picture for the large version
Egypt is no longer complaining, that YOUR CO2 is
causing Gullible Warming.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jacoby Kindred, 61, Maplewood, Minnesota

Wanted because of raping two under-age girls

A "self-proclaimed" pastor in Minnesota has been charged 
with the rape of two girls.

Jacoby Kindred, 61, is accused of sexually abusing the 
daughters of his son's girlfriend beginning when they were 
only six years old. According to a criminal complaint 
obtained by the Pioneer Press, Kindred, a pastor with One 
Accord Ministries, told one victim that "the devil was 
inside her and he could take the demons out of her."

KARE 11 reports that the alleged abuse "involved fondling, 
oral stimulation, and rape," and took place mostly at 
Kindred's Maplewood, Minn., home, while the victims, 
now 14 and 16, stayed over. Kindred is said to have abused 
the girls for more than a decade.

Police began their investigation in July after the girls' 
mother said she found out about a letter written by one of 
her daughters that described sexual acts with Kindred.

Reached for comment by the Pioneer Press on Thursday, 
Kindred denied the allegations and said that the girls' 
mother had made them tell "lies" because she was angry 
with him.

"Anyone can make up anything when you sit there long enough 
and you rehearse it," Kindred told the newspaper. "All a 
woman has to do [in Minnesota] is make an accusation, true or 
false, and the man's going to be in trouble."

Kindred, who spoke with the Pioneer Press by phone, told the 
paper that he was out of town for a funeral, and would not 
disclose his location. 
Police have issued a warrant for his arrest. 

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Amber Rose
Re: Cause of missed letters

Dear Webby
I keep wondering what the problem is that some people have
with getting your newsletter through AOL. I don't have any
problem whatsoever, and I have AOL. Could the difference
be that they do not have your e-mail address in their
Address Book? AOL kept putting it into my Address Book
whenever I received a newsletter. I kept deleting it because
it was not one of my personal friends that I contact frequently.
I was keeping my Address Book  just for them. When I realized
your newsletters were going into my Spam box, I finally realized.
Now you are prominent in my Address Book along with my
other friends, and I do believe you are a friend also.
Your newsletter is the very best I have ever received.
AmberRose

Dear AmberRose
You are 100% right.
Nowadays AOL has become quite reliable, much better than
for example Yahoo, and when the sender address is in the
address book, the mail always gets through.
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Oiled Wood Floors
I have 105 year old heartpine floors. I use WOCA natural 
soap to clean them. They have also come out with a refresher 
that has more oil in it. If your floors aren't horrible, 
clean them well and try the refresher on a small section. 
We sanded and oiled our floors six years ago after removing 
about five layers of linoleum. I used WOCA oil. Haven't 
had to re-oil yet.

Source: Wocadirect.com

By Tina K 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

>From Lisa
I've been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to
seek the aid of a psychiatrist.   
I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited   
for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel   
better.   

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes   
and sat thinking for a few minutes, nodding his head.   

Finally, he looked up at me and said in conclusion, "Ummmm,   
I think your problem is low self-esteem. That is very common   
among losers."

So I broke his face, his glasses and his chair, took my file
and left. I have to say, I felt much better after that 
session!
 



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A crew of highway maintenance workers were sent to repair   
some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested   
area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning   
of a deer crossing.   

As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one   
member, of the crew looked back and spotted a deer running   
across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, 
"I wonder how long he's been waiting to cross?"   


Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something   
really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized,   
they made up.   

However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had   
done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you   
keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive   
and forget.'"   

"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that   
I've forgiven and forgotten." 




» Golden Gate bridge




Today, December 16, in
1653 Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland.
1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor 
 off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots 
 were disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation 
 without representation and the monopoly the government 
 granted to the East India Company.
1809 Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress 
 Josephine by an act of the French Senate.
1835 In New York, 530 buildings were destroyed by fire.
1838 The Zulu chief Dingaan was defeated by a small force 
 of Boers at Blood River celebrated in South Africa as 
 'Dingaan's Day'.
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived 
 at Lyttleton, New Zealand.
1916 Gregory Rasputin, the monk who had wielded powerful 
 influence over the Russian court, was murdered by a 
 group of noblemen.
1940 French Premier Petain arrested Pierre Laval after 
 learning of a plan for Laval to seize power and set up 
 a new government with German support.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of the Bulge began 
 in Belgium. It was the final major German counteroffensive 
 in the war.
1950 U.S. President Truman proclaimed a national state of 
 emergency in order to fight "Communist imperialism."
1960 A United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation 
 collided over New York City, killing 134 people.
1972 The Miami Dolphins became the first NFL team to go 
 unbeaten and untied in a 14-game regular season.
1973 O.J. Simpson broke Jim Brown’s single-season rushing 
 record in the NFL. Brown had rushed for 1,863 yards, 
 while Simpson attained 2,003 yards.
1990 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a leftist priest, was elected 
 president in Haiti's first democratic elections.
1995 Many U.S. government functions were again closed as a 
 temporary finance provision expired and the budget dispute 
 between President Clinton and Republicans in Congress continued.
1996 Britain's agriculture minister announced the slaughter 
 of an additional 100,000 cows thought to be at risk of 
 contracting BSE in an effort to persuade the EU to lift 
 its ban on Britain.
1998 The U.S. and Britain fired hundreds of missiles onto 
 Iraq in response to Saddam Hussein's refusal to comply 
 with U.N. weapons inspectors.
1999 Torrential rains and mudslides in Venezuela left 
 thousands of people dead and forced at least 120,000 
 to leave their homes.
2000 Researchers announced that information from NASA's 
 Galileo spacecraft indicated that Ganymede appeared to 
 have a liquid saltwater ocean beneath a surface of solid 
 ice. Ganymede, a moon of Jupiter, is the solar system's 
 largest moon. The discovery is considered important 
 since water is a key ingredient for life.
2000 U.S. President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin 
 Powell to be the first African-American secretary of state. 
 Powell was sworn in January 20, 2001.
2001 In Tora Bora, Afghanistan, tribal fighters announced 
 that they had taken the last al-Quaida positions. More 
 than 200 fighters were killed and 25 captured. They also 
 announced that they had found no sign of Osama bin Laden.
2001 Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from 
 the United States in nearly 40 years. The shipment was sent 
 to help Cuba after Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba on Nov 4, 2001.
2009 Astronomers discovered GJ1214b. It was the first-known 
 exoplanet on which water could exist.
2013  smiled.

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---

How to make a Hot-key to instantly start a screen saver? 

Sunday, December 15, 2013, 08:49 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 15.

Thank you, Jen & John from New Hampshire!

------------
Have you ever seen an eagle's nest with eggs in it?

There are a few in the Cape Coral, Fort Myers area right in 
town. I saw this nest when I helped Sandie prepare for 
Hurricane Wilma in October 2005. There was no camera on 
this particular nest in those days. They had a camera 
on a different nest.

The eagles flew away a day before the hurricane arrived,
probably to shelter in the thick mangrove forest at the 
coast, and came back a day after the hurricane had 
passed, and calmly restored their messy nest. Eagle's
nests don't look pretty or finished at the best of times.

http://www.ustream.tv/SouthwestFloridaEagleCam
Eagle nest cam in Ft Myers with info, for example
Currently On The Nest:
Harriet	
Harriet arrives at 6:06pm and Ozzie leaves

The nest is visible at night too, though just lit with an 
IR light. At night it looks like a Black & White camera,
but during the day it is in color. And you see the traffic
below the nest. It does not bother the eagles at all.

You see the eggs when the eagles change shifts, or when 
they turn around. When they get too warm, then they turn
with their tail against the wind, so that it ruffles the
feathers. When they get cold, they turn their head into 
the wind, so that it slicks their feathers down. When they
turn around or change shifts, you see the two eggs.

More details at
http://snipurl.com/eglenestcam

Have FUN!
DearWebb





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.
If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas,
then you better hurry! 



Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
Florida Teacher gets 38 years for
fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes 
of others.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

The best ideas come as jokes. 
Make your thinking as funny as possible.
--- David M. Ogilvy


>From Donnie
A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a burn 
on the St Andrews course.
A grounds keeper shouts: 'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo 
ae coo's shite an pish!'

The golfer replies: 'My Good fellow, I'm from England . 
Could you repeat that for me, in English!?'

The keeper replies: 'I said, use two hands - 
you'll spill less that way!
 


 

>From Clyde
I just got off the phone with friend in northern Minnesota. 
He said that since early this morning the snow has been 
falling heavily and it is nearly waist high. The temperature 
is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing, and 
his wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window. 
 
He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in!
--------
Those northern Minnesotans are suicidal!




Click on the picture for the large version
London, England

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Scott Lamonico, Alaska

Jail for downloading 17 magazine pictures

Downloading Seventeen magazine photos of Miley Cyrus, Selena 
Gomez, and Dakota Fanning could result in jail time for a 
probationer who spent time in federal prison for possessing 
child pornography.

During a recent search of Scott Lamonico’s computer, probation 
officer Jennifer Hitchins discovered the photos of the three 
celebrities, along with other images of young women in 
“minimal clothing.”

Federal investigators contend that the photos violated a 
probation term barring the 44-year-old Lamonico from 
possessing “child erotica.” In April 2006, Lamonico was 
sentenced to 63 months in prison (to be followed by three 
years probation) following his conviction in U.S. District 
Court in San Francisco on a felony possession of child 
pornography count.

Now living in Alaska, Lamonico, pictured above, was freed 
from custody last November. He was arrested last Thursday 
on a warrant accusing him of violating the conditions of 
his supervised release.

If found guilty of violating his probation, Lamonico could 
face two additional years in custody, though sentencing 
guidelines call for a prison term between three and nine 
months.
----------
Pictures of Miley Cyrus and her 'twerking' have been all
over the news for some time. I always wondered what people
found so special about the scrawny, underfed screecher. 
I had not realized, that she was underage. 
Personally, I would be more interested in pictures of her 
mother or grandmother in similar attire!

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Barb
Re: Hot-key for ScreenSaver

Dear Webby
I want it! 
The hot-key for starting a screen saver, that you hinted at.
Barb

Dear Barb
Gladly!
Oh, too old?
OK. Hot key is easy.
Look for the location of your screen savers.
Just search for *.scr files. Your favorite one should be
there too. 
If Windows is acting snotty and not showing the SCR files,
start the making of a desktop shortcut, 
browse to c:\Windows and select 
AJScreensaver.scr
Right-click it and select Shortcut.
Drag the shortcut onto the desktop.
No, no, that's not all. Be patient!
Now right-click that shortcut.
In there you can set a hot-key.
Pick a combo, that is easy to use without getting
your fingers tangled up, and that is not in use yet.
Surprisingly, ALT X is usually still free.

After selecting a Hot-Key, OK out of there.
Now, when you hit CTRL and ALT X, or whatever you picked, 
your screen saver will pop and hide what you have 
been doing.

Keep in mind, due to an embarrassing brain fart in Windows, 
you need THREE keys for a hot-key. Yeah, I know, that is 
rather stooopid, and Bill Gates has publicly apologized
for that, but so far there is no way around it. Until
somebody writes a third party fix for that, you just have to
use three keys to make hot-keys for shortcuts.

Just type X into that slot, and Windows will add the 
CTRL + ALT part. Hit APPLY and OK, and your hotkey is done.
Hit CTRL ALT X, and your clocks are up.

If you use dual monitors, you can select a different 
screensaver for the second monitor. I use the Roman clock
on the left monitor and the numeric ribbon clock on the 
right monitor.

If you set it so that returning from the screen saver 
requires a password, then your kids can't snoop while
you are off flirting at the postman.
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Dresser Drawers as a Bookshelf
I have purchased quite a few books over the years. I spent 
so much money on the books themselves that I didn't have 
enough leftover to buy shelving, and that's where I got 
the idea for this helpful little tip. I had stacks of books 
all over the house, and I finally decided that something 
had to be done, so I went on a hunt. I found a damaged dresser 
that had been left in the basement by the previous owner of 
the house, so I pulled it out and started brainstorming a way 
to turn it into a bookshelf. 

I came up with the idea of taking all the hardware off the 
drawers and stacking the drawers on top of each other. The 
bottoms of the drawers now became the back of my new modular 
shelving unit. Each shelf measures 36 inches wide, 15 inches 
high, and 8 inches deep. With a little bit of staining, the 
new shelves make a beautiful addition to the living room, 
turning my unsightly stacks of books into a source of numerous 
complements.

By Jessica from Marion, NC 

Narrow concrete blocks for uprights and 1x8's or 1x4's
work very well too. 1x8's SEEM more expensive, but twice
as many 1x4's work out to exactly the same. Boards are 
usually sold by the board-foot, which is the volume of a
square foot, 1 inch thick. You can easily stain them 
mahogany or walnut and make them look quite fancy,

To hide the concrete blocks print a book spine of some 
fantasy book, for example your thesis, glue it onto some
cardboard, curve it anround the front end of the block 
and glue it onto the concrete block with hotmelt glue.

If you don't have a saw to cut the boards, come on over.
You can also ask the good people at Home Depot to cut them 
for you. They will give you a big speech about no refunds
on cut stuff, and that you better be VERY sure about the
length of the boards.

Once you are sure about the length, "Yeah, it is twice the
length of my bra plus two fingers." they will gladly cut 
the wood for you.  

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Six year old Angie and her four year old brother Joel were
sitting together in church.  Joel giggled, sang, and talked out
loud.  Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church," she hissed
at Joel.

"Why?  Who's going to stop me?"  Joel shot back.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, 
"See those two big mean men standing by the door?"

Joel nodded.

"They're hushers."
 



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


After the college boy delivered the pizza to Rob's's
trailer house, Rob asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, 
but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, 
I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Rob. "Well, just to show them how
wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my 
school fund."

"What are you studying?" asked Rob.

The lad smiled and said: "Reverse psychology."


One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job.  
His nephew asked him what happened.

"You know what a foreman is?" he asked. "The one who
stands around and watches the other men work?"

"What's that got to do with it?" he asked.

"Well, he just got jealous of me," Uncle Joe explained.
"Everyone thought I was the foreman."




» Golden Gate bridge




Today, December 15, in
1654 A meteorological office established in Tuscany began 
 recording daily temperature readings.
1791 In the U.S., the first ten amendments to the Constitution, 
 known as the Bill of Rights, went into effect.
1840 Napoleon Bonaparte's remains were interred in Les 
 Invalides in Paris, having been brought from St. Helena
1854 In Philadelphia, the first street cleaning machine 
1877 Thomas Edison patented the phonograph.
1890 American Sioux Indian Chief Sitting Bull and 11 other 
 tribe members were killed in Grand River, SD, during an 
 incident with Indian police working for the U.S. government.
1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick 
 based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at 
 Loew's Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien 
 Leigh and Clark Gable.
1944 A single-engine plane carrying U.S. Army Major Glenn 
 Miller disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel 
 while en route to Paris.
1944 American forces invaded Mindoro Island in the Philippines.
1961 Former Nazi official Adolf Eichmann was sentenced to death 
 in Jerusalem by an Israeli court. He had been tried on charges 
 for organizing the deportation of Jews to concentration camps.
1961 The U.N. General Assembly voted against a Soviet proposal 
 to admit Communist China as a member.
1964 Canada's House of Commons approved a newly designed flag 
 thereby dropping the Canadian "Red Ensign" flag.
1965 Two U.S. manned spacecraft, Gemini 6 and Gemini 7, maneuvered 
 within 10 feet of each other while in orbit around the Earth.
1966 Walter Elias "Walt" Disney died in Los Angeles 
 at the age of 65.
1970 The Soviet probe Venera 7 became the first spacecraft 
 to land softly on the surface of Venus. The probe only 
 survived the extreme heat and pressure for about 23 minutes 
 and transmitted the first data received on Earth from the 
 surface of another planet.
1973 J. Paul Getty III was found in southern Italy after 
 being held captive for five months, during which his right 
 ear was cut off and sent to a newspaper in Rome.
1978 U.S. President Carter announced he would grant diplomatic 
 recognition to Communist China on New Year's Day and sever 
 official relations with Taiwan.
1979 The former shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left the 
 United States for Panama. He had gone to the U.S. for medical 
 treatment on October 22, 1979.
1982 Gibraltar's frontier with Spain was opened to pedestrian 
 use after 13 years.
1983 The last 80 U.S. combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew. 
 It was just over seven weeks after the U.S.-led invasion 
 of the Caribbean island.
1989 An uprising in Romania began as demonstrators gathered 
 to prevent the arrest of the Reverend Laszlo Tokes, a 
 dissident clergyman.
1992 IBM announced it would eliminate 25-thousand employees 
 in the coming year.
1992 El Salvador's government and leftist guerrilla leaders 
 formally declared the end of the country's 12-year civil war.
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to take over 
 the peacekeeping operations in Bosnia.
1996 Boeing Co. announced plans to pay $13.3 billion to 
 acquire rival aircraft manufacturer McDonnell Douglas Corp.
1999 Syria reopened peace talks with Israel in Washington, DC, 
 with the mediation of U.S. President Clinton.
2000 The Chernobyl atomic power plant in Kiev, Ukraine, 
 was shut down.
2000 New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed 
 to accept an $8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. 
 The book was to be about her eight years in the White House. 
 The advance was the highest ever to be paid to a member 
 of the U.S. Congress.
2001 It was announced that Siena Heights University would 
 begin offering a class called "Animated Philosophy and 
 Religion." The two-credit class would cover how religion 
 and philosophy are part of popular culture and is based 
 on the television series "The Simpsons."
2013  smiled.

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---

Larger clock 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013, 09:12 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 11.

Today, Wednesday, I have to go into Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on
Thursday, Friday and  Saturday. On Saturday I hope to be
able to write and send out the Sunday issue.





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
Florida Teacher gets 38 years for
fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; 
it is regret for the things we did not do 
that is inconsolable.
--- Sidney J. Harris


At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the
instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to
give their escorts every chance to be gallant.

"Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step
around and open the door for you." she said.

Then, returning to reality, she added, "But... if the big, 
dumb galoot is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress 
-- don't wait any longer."
 


 

A business associate of mine decided it was time to shed
some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even
changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One
morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic
coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained
cherubic.

"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained.
"I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there
in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no
accident, so I prayed, `Lord, if you want me to have one
of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking
place directly in front of the bakery.'

"And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around
the block,
there it was!"


Thanks to dad for this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Ethel Anderson, Hillsborough County, Floriduh

Florida Teacher gets 38 years for
fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity

Reported by Tom W.
A Hillsborough County judge told Ethel Anderson she 'groomed' 
a student 'for her own deviant' purposes before sentencing 
her to 38 years behind bars.

Anderson, an award winning teacher, was found guilty of nine 
counts of sex crime charges.

"Despite what the court might see, I am not a sexual 
predator," Anderson told the judge Monday.

Prosecutors say Anderson lured a 12-year-old boy into a 
sexual affair using text messages. They presented more than 
230 pages of text messages between Anderson and the victim.

In a move that seemingly backfired, Anderson took the stand 
in her own defense and told jurors the texts were all "fantasy" 
and used them as a teaching tool to keep the boy's attention.

"You groomed this child," said Hillsborough Circuit Judge 
Chet Tharpe.

Tharpe also said Anderson manipulated the boy's parents 
into believing he was safe while with her.

Anderson, mom to a six-year-old, was led away in cuffs 
to begin her 38 year sentence.

Last December, she resigned from Mango Elementary School.
The boy has since transferred schools.

"Anger and hatred don't even begin to explain how I feel 
about what you took from my son," said the boy's mother 
in a written statement read by prosecutors.  
"His innocence is lost forever."
---------------
Awwww!

When my mom (correctly) guessed, that my innocence was 
lost forever, she slipped a 6-pack of condoms into my 
lunch bag. Not a word was said about it. 
No drama,
but then, in those days, there was no texting or anything,
that could be used against anybody.

Sure, there was poetry, in rhyme and rythm, as pay per lay,
but without any name and most carefully without mentioning
anything, that could point to any certain, ahem, individual.
In those days, we had class!

I realized much later, that a juvenile with the urge can 
crank out a lot more poetry, than he can during the rest 
of his life. 
I sure did not miss my forever lost innocence, 
but became a very prolific juvenile poet! :D

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Inga
Re: Large clock

Dear Webby
I realized that Microslop can't handle desktop gadgets like
the clock any more, and the add-on gadgets on the net come
with really sleazy viruses like Nav-Link. Thanks to your
warning I stopped the installation before it did anything.

So, what is a girl to do when she wants a big clock suitable
for senior eyes?
Thanks
Inga

Dear Inga
Try Roman Clock
Classic Roman Clock Click for bigger sample



If you go to http://www.beeks.eu you can download and 
install a pack of screen savers, including that Roman clock,
the "Polish Digital Clock" by Yugo Nakamura, and even a 
classic Mickey Mouse clock. Fourteen different clocks.
They are all clean screen savers,

If anybody is interested, I'll write about how to make a
Boss key to instantly launch a screen saver and hide from
the boss that you are playing "Revenge of the bimbos" on
company time.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cheese Grater Tip 
Before you begin grating cheese, brush a little vegetable 
oil on the grater. It will clean easier when you are 
finished.

By Sandy from Graettinger IA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Inscribed in stone over the great front doors of an old 
church being restored was:  "This is the Gate of Heaven."  

Just below it someone had placed a small cardboard sign 
which read:
"CLOSED
Use Other Entrance"
 



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A famous author was autographing copies of his new
novel in a Cleveland department store.  One gentleman
pleased him by bringing up not only his new book for
signature, but reprint editions of his two previous ones
as well.

"My wife likes your stuff," he remarked apologetically, "I
thought I'd give her these signed copies for a birthday
present."

"A surprise, eh?" hazarded the author.

"I'll say," agreed the customer.  "She's expecting a
Jeep."


An "air freshener" salesman goes to an executive building
to market his product to a prospective buyer.  He steps in
to an empty elevator and presses the 10th floor button.
Just as the doors close, he lets out a God-awful fart.

He then can feel the elevator stopping on the fifth floor 
and he knows that someone will be stepping on so he quickly
sprays his new "Pine-Scented" air freshener to cover his 
tracks. The person that was on the 5th floor steps onto 
the elevator.

The salesman decides that this is a good opportunity to 
test his product's quality so he asks the man, 
"Excuse me sir, could you kindly tell me what you smell?"

The man replies, "Yeah, smells like a turkey with diahrea
hiding in a Christmas Tree".




» Peppermint




Today, December 11, in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the Aurora Borealis was 
 in New England.
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds.
1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January.
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a 
 tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the 
 dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was used.
1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. First 
 American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity.
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
 exhibitors.
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed.
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of 
 Windsor.
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations.
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. 
 The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries.
1961 The first direct American military support for South 
 Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying 
 Army helicopters arrived in Saigon.
1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime 
 Minister Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 
 Munich pact when they had signed a treaty sanctioning 
 Hitler's seizure of Czechoslovakia's German speaking 
 Sudetenland.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation 
 creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would 
 be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic 
 waste dumps.
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st 
 fight to Trevor Berbick.
1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation 
 for $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio 
 and Television.
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were 
 sold at Christie's for £82,500.
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when 
 tons of illegal fireworks exploded.
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 
 years of marriage.
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for 
 blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in 
 New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of 
 the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech 
 in the U.S.).
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets 
 entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to 
 restore control the breakaway republic.
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when 
 leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade 
 declaration known as "The Miami Process."
1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political 
 ally of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He 
 conferred with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London.
1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming 
 conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's 
 "greenhouse gases." Canada thought it was BS and abstained.
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month 
 journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared 
 in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scientists 
 had failed to convert English measures to metric values.
2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced 
 that he would end his three-plus year retirement and become 
 an active National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When 
 Lemieux returned officially he became the first owner/player 
 in NHL history.
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would 
 withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty 
 with Russia.
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part 
 of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence 
 against an international software piracy ring.
2013  smiled.

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---

IE opening in too small windows 

Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 10:53 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 10.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, I have to go into Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on
Thursday, Friday and  Saturday. On Saturday I hope to be
able to write the Sunday issue.





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a a man who overslept in an airplane
Details at International Bonehead Awards





Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
--- Paul Beatty

I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900),

Thanks to Russ for this classic:
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got 
older, he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.
When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, 
he sought medical help.

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally 
came across a doctor who solved his problem.  "The good news 
is I can cure your headaches.  The bad news is that it will 
require castration.  You have a very rare condition which 
causes your testicles to press up against the base of your 
spine.  The pressure creates one hell of a headache.  The 
only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed.....but decided he had no 
choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt 
like he was missing an important part of himself. 
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like 
a different person. He could make a new beginning and live 
a new life.
 
He walked past a men's clothing store and thought "That's 
what I need, a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman "I'd like a new 
suit."  
The salesman eyed him briefly and said "Let's see....44 long."  
Joe laughed "That's right.  How did you know?”  

The salesman replied “It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit.  It fit perfectly.  As Joe admired 
himself in the mirror, the salesman asked "How about a new 
shirt?"  

Joe thought for a moment and then said "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said "Let's see.....34 sleeve and....
16½ neck."  

Joe was surprised.  "That's right.  How did you know?"  

The salesman replied "It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.  As Joe adjusted 
the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked "How about new 
shoes?"  

Joe was on a roll and said "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said 
"Lets see.... 9 1/2 wide."  

Joe was astonished.  "That's right.  How did you know?"  

"It's my job" was the answer.

Joe tried on the shoes, and they fit perfectly. Joe walked 
comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 

"How about a new hat?"  

Without hesitating Joe said "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said 
"Lets see.....7 3/4"  Joe was incredulous.  

"That's right!"  How did you know?"  

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly.  Joe was feeling great when the 
salesman asked "How about some new underwear?"  

Joe thought for a second and said "Sure."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said 

"Let's see....size 36."  Joe laughed 

"No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head. "You can't wear a size 34.  
It would press your testicles up against the base of 
your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
  


 

While we are having fun with Classics, Roland sent this one:
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession.
"Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new 
construction site."

Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son?"

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole 
for a long time. I'm 'fraid someone will break their 
leg, so I fix the hole."

Priest: "Well, that's not so bad."

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left."

Priest: "What did you do with it?"

Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never 
had no place to get outta the weather, so I make him his 
own little doghouse."

Priest: "OK, anything else?"

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left. 
So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to 
get outta de weather either, so I make her a two-car 
garage."

Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand."

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a little lumber left."

Priest: "Yes?"

Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger house. 
So I add two bedrooms and a new bathroom."

Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance, 
you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to 
make a Novena, don't you?"

Boudreaux: "No, Father ... but if you got the plans, 
I got the lumber."


Thanks to dad for this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Depree Johnson, 19, Lake Worth, Floriduh

Felon posted pictures of himself 
with burglared guns

A Florida felon is back in jail after uploading photos to his 
Instagram page showing him posing with firearms.

Police raided Depree Johnson’s Lake Worth home last week 
after investigators spotted the incriminating images of the 
19-year-old on the photo-sharing web site. Johnson’s rap 
sheet includes convictions for grand theft, burglary, and 
felon in possession of a firearm.

As seen above, one of the Instagram photos shows Johnson 
holding two handguns.

Detectives with the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office 
recently examined Johnson’s Instagram account as they were 
investigating his possible involvement in a series of 
burglaries.

The search of Johnson’s home turned up numerous pieces of 
stolen jewelry and a pair of stolen firearms. As a result, 
Johnson was arrested and booked into the county jail on 
142 criminal counts.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Jaye
Re: IE opening in too small size windows

Dear Webby:
I made 4 links one quarter there  size--- Had all four show
on my desktop at once--- was neat--- except now--- almost
every thing I open--- opens to one quarter its size and I
have to click maximize.
You had a tech tip once that dealt with just that problem---
did not need it so I deleted it-
Webby, where I go to click open all windows in full screen??
Thanks so much for all your help.
Jaye

Dear Jaye
Close all browser windows but one.
Open a new window from a link on the remaining window.
Close the old window (not the new one that just opened up).
Adjust the window to be the size you want all the new windows
to be (you cannot use the maximize button for this, you have
to actually squish or stretch the size of the window to be what
you want the windows to automatically open up as).
Hold down the CTRL key while closing the window.

From now on, all your new windows should open up to that
size until perform a similar process telling IE that you want
all new windows to be the new size.

Most likely what occurred is that you manually sized a window
to that size, closed it, and IE remembered that as your
preferred window size.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tennis Ball for Pulling Into the Garage
Take a ping ping ball and pierce a hole in it on each side 
(2 holes). Thread a string through it and tie in your garage 
against the car windshield to the exact place where you need 
to pull in the garage for a perfect fit. No more hitting the 
garage back or closing the door on your car!

Source: My father in law!

By Rae G. 

You can tie anything to the string. At one time it used to
be fashionale to tie a little yellow duck squeaky toy to the
string. Anything works. I have seen even beer bottles, to 
make an audible CLICK on the windshield. That is handy in
dark garages, especially when you turn your lights off early,
to ensure a better charge of the battery.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

>From Frannie
Our pastor was winding down the service.  In the back of the   
church, the fellowship committee stood to go to the church   
hall and prepare snacks for the congregation. Seeing them   
rise, Pastor Michael singled them out for  praise.  "Before   
they all slip out," he urged, "let's give these ladies a big   
hand in the rear."  




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past   
a row of empty shopping carts when the cart-girl standing   
there called after him, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?"   

"No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing."   

As he walked into the store, he heard her say, "Typical male!"   


Thanks tp Russ for bringing back this classic:
Little Jenny answered the door when the census taker came by. 
"My daddy is a doctor and he isn't home because he's 
performing an appendectomy." 

"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for 
such a little girl. Do you know what appendectomy means?" 

"Oh, sure: Twenty-five-hundred bucks straight up. 
Of course, that doesn't include the anesthesiologist!"




» Peppermint




Today, December 10, in
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. 
 The papacy had demanded that he recant or face excommunication. 
 Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in 
 January 1521.
1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first 
 pneumatic tires.
1869 Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming 
 Territory.
1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the 
 Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain.
1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded.
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping 
 mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War.
1941 Japan invaded the Philippines.
1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse
 were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya.
1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with 
 an investment of $7,600.
1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the 
 U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a 
 National Airlines Boeing 707.
1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries 
 in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were 
 excluded.
1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, 
 a long-acting contraceptive implant.
1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the 
 repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit.
1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a 
 new democratic constitution, completing the country's 
 transition from white-minority rule to a black majority
 rule.
1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international 
 space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface.
2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, opponents 
 of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction projects. 
 The ban did not prevent companies from winning subcontracts.
2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first elected 
 female president. 
2013  smiled.

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---

Yahoo mail crashing the browser 

Monday, December 9, 2013, 12:21 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 9.





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a a man who overslept in an airplane
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Yesterday we were the coldest spot in North America with -44
degrees, not accounting for wind chill. That was just in 
the morning. Later in the day it warmed up considerably.

I was at Home Depot today and since the lady near the 
entrance seemed rather bored, I told her I needed a screw.
Without batting an eyelid she told me: "Isle 34, behind the
carpets."

There is no isle 34. I grinned and asked her how many people
actually walked all the way down to the end at isle 30.
She told me that almost all of the ones who asked apparently
did, without doubting her advce.

Since we were alredy smart-assing and not very serious at
all, I asked her: "And what about after work?"

She held out her left fist, showing a wedding ring, and
told me: "Can't. I have a head-ache license and have to 
cook."

"Awwwww! poor girl!"

We parted laughing.

I know, wood screws are in isle 11.
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability 
to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable 
for their apparent disinclination to do so.
--- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

To have striven, to have made the effort,
to have been true to certain ideals -
this alone is worth the struggle."
--- William Penn


Bambi, an airhead in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, 
sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi 
if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, "That was 
the decision George Washington had to make before he 
crossed the Delaware."
  


 

A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-
examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?"

"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."

"Whom did you marry?" demanded the lawyer.

"Well, a woman," the humble witness replied.

The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman.
Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"

The witness replied, "MY mother did did."


Thanks to dad for this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version
Original type Christmas Cactus, 
with a fire engine red hybrid below it.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Tom Wagner, 

Overslept on United Express plane

A man who fell asleep flying from Louisiana woke up at his 
layover in Houston, inside a dark, empty and locked plane.

Tom Wagner says that the United Express crew left him in 
the plane, even after he alerted authorities through his 
girlfriend, for more than 30 minutes, according to ABC News.

The fiasco started on Friday when he fell asleep in a window 
seat near the back of the airplane. When everyone deplaned 
at the layover, nobody woke Wagner up. He woke up in a 
pitch-black and cold cabin, and the aircraft doors were 
locked.

Luckily, his cell phone wasn't dead.

"I called my girlfriend, and she thought I was crazy. 
I said, 'Debbie I'm locked on the plane,'" he told ABC. 
"I said, 'I'm telling you the truth. You better go somewhere 
and get me off this plane."

Half an hour later, workers boarded the aircraft and rescued 
Wagner. He told KVEO that they wanted him to keep the 
incident quiet, and put him up in a nearby hotel and gave 
him a $250 flight voucher to make the ordeal go away.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Pat
Re: Yahoo Mail crashing

Dear Webby:
My Yahoo mail is getting shut down almost every time I use
it by my I/E.  I guess the only alternative is to download
another browser like Foxfire, right?

I would appreciate your advice on this one.  I think a lot
of people are having this problem.  Could it be that
Microsoft is trying to force us to give up the old version
of I/E to use the new and flawed version of I/E?
What a buncha commies!
Pat

Dear Pat
Nah, that's just a routine Yahoo screw-up.
There have not been any changes to IE.

Try Google's gmail. 
That works.

I also read that Yahoo mail works Ok on mobile devices,
just not on desktop computers and laptops any more.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Acetone to Clean Whiteboard
I tried all the other methods listed and none were 
satisfactory. I put some acetone on the white board and 
everything from sticky residue to caked-on ink came off 
immediately without streaking. I washed with soap and 
dried and it looks and works like new!

By Keith B. 
Buy Acetone by the Gallon for less 
at Home Depot than a half pint at the craft stroe!
HaveFUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

A man picked up is young son from school to take him to a
dental appointment.  Knowing the parts for the school play
were supposed to be posted that morning, he asked his son
if he got a part in the play.

With great enthusiasm, the boy said that he had and said,
"I play a man who's been married for twenty years."

"That's great, son," the dad said.  "Keep up the good work
and before you know it, they'll give you a speaking part."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
and Mary took baby Jesus with them to Jerusalem.

A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."


Little Johnny was laying about on a snow pile. Puffy white
clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape.

Soon, he began to think about God.
"God? Are you really there?" Johnny said out loud.

To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds.
"Yes, Johnny? What can I do for you?"

Seizing the opportunity, Johnny asked,
"God? What is a million years like to you?"

Knowing that Johnny could not understand the concept
of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Johnny
could relate, "A million years to me, Johnny, is like a minute."

"Oh," said Johnny. "Well, then, what's a million dollars
like to you?"

"A million dollars to me, Johnny, is like a penny."

"Wow!" remarked Johnny, getting an idea.
"You're so generous...can I have one of your pennies?"

God replied, "Sure thing, Johnny! Just a minute."




» Marine Toys




Today, December 8, in
1594 Gustavus II of Sweden was born.
1783 The first executions at Newgate Prison took place.
1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company.
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the 
 ball-bearing roller skate.
1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops 
 led by Viscount Allenby.
1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first 
 major offensive in North Africa.
1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM 
 radio advertising contract with experimental station 
 W2XOR in New York City.
1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy.
1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and 
 regained his world middleweight boxing title.
1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 
 other men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society.
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer, 
 known as "Univac 1107."
1962 "Lawrence of Arabia," by David Lean had its world 
 premiere in London.
1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion 
 seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from 
 having to default.
1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members 
 received sentences in prison for their roles in the 
 "dirty war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared."
1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) 
 against Israeli occupation.
1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential 
 election in the country's history.
1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's 
 first free elections in 50 years.
1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using 
 a single currency in 1999.
1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced 
 their separation.
1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II
 missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms 
 control treaty.
1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed 
 repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope.
1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists 
 produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 
 3 million watts.
1994 U.S. President Clinton fired Surgeon General Joycelyn 
 Elders after learning that she had told a conference that 
 masturbation should be discussed in school as a part of 
 human sexuality.
2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after 
 losing $4 billion in the previos two years. It was the 
 sixth largest bankruptcy filing.
2013  smiled.

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---

Is Yahoo broken or bent on purpose? 

Sunday, December 8, 2013, 11:45 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, December 7.





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a Texas doctor, who had a Love triangle meltdown
Details at International Bonehead Awards


A few readers asked about the Swedish Christmas goat, 
whether it is still standing and what is going on.
"Jul Bocken" as he's called in Swedish, helps the Swedish
type of Santa to deliver the gifts, to be put under the tree
by the 24th of Dec.,as that's the time for the opening of
the presents.

The biggest of the Jul Bocken is in the town of Gavle.
As of this writinig, the Gavlebocken is still standing tall,
covered with a little bit of snow, and not even singed.

In case you don't know, the Gavlebocken or Christmas Goat
is located in Gavle, Sweden, and made from straw.
Weight: 3.6 tonnes (8,000 lb)
Height (horns): 13 metres (42.7 feet)
Withers height: 7,6 metres (25 feet)
Length: 7 metres (23 feet)
The straw is delivered by Mackmyra Swedish Whisky.

Every year, some vandals try to burn the goat down 
before Christmas. One year they even tried, unsuccessfully, 
to kidnap it with a helicopter.

The struggle between the town and the goat burners is not
really religious. Nobody really knows for sure whether the 
goat is the one, who pulled Thor's carriage, or is from the 
stable in Bethlehem, or both. And they don't really care.
It is mostly just a race or competition between keeping the
Christmas Goat alive till Christmas, versus burning it down.

Usually the vandals win.
Here is last year's fire:


The live webcam of this year's Christmas Goat is at


That picture is NOT the live web cam, just a screen shot
I took from the live webcam, and a link to the live web cam. 
Bookmark it and check on the Christmas Goat now and then!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
--- Alfred E. Newman

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, 
what is the significance of a clean desk?
--- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)


This woman wanted a face lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob",
where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head
and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the 
effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of
the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects 
were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with
two problems: "All these years, everything has been working
just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've 
always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying
problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes
and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags,
those are your breasts."

She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about
the goatee."
  


 

> Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Southern Grandmother on the Witness Stand:

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if 
they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trail, a southern 
small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, 
a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" 

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Wack-off Williams. 
I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, 
you've been a big disappointment to me. 
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people 
and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a 
big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never 
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. 
Yes, I know you"

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he 
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you 
know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known 
Brainless Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, 
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a 
normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he 
cheated on his wife With three different women. One of 
them was your wife. Yes, I know Brainless Bradley".

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge promptly asked both lawyers to approach the 
bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you 
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to 
jail and personally throw away the key!"




Click on the picture for the large version
Potted Fox

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
MitrePeak-Milford-Sound-Fiordland-New-Zealand

Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jeff Fleming, 53, Reno, Nevada

Love Triangle Meltdown 
Leads To Doctor's Arrest

A Texas doctor involved in a love triangle broke into the 
Houston home of a romantic rival and scrawled the words 
“Whore” and “Homewrecker” in red lipstick on a bathroom 
mirror, cops allege.

Angela Siler-Fisher, 42, is facing misdemeanor harassment 
and trespassing charges stemming from her alleged break-in 
Sunday at the residence of Marcelle Mallery, a 35-year-old 
radiologist.

Siler-Fisher (seen above) is a medical director at Houston’s 
Ben Taub General Hospital and teaches at the Baylor College 
of Medicine. Her husband Brandon, 43, is a radiologist.

According to a criminal complaint, Brandon Fisher called 
Mallery to warn that his wife “was coming to her house.” 
Mallery told cops that she was in fear for herself and her 
children, so she fled the residence.

Mallery told investigators that she received two phone calls 
from Siler-Fisher as she was en route to the home. Siler-Fisher, 
Mallery said, warned that she was "going to beat her fucking ass, 
whore” and “dislocate her vagina.”

Surveillance videos revealed that Siler-Fisher entered 
Mallery’s home by “kicking in the doggy door.” Once inside 
the sprawling home, she wrote “Whore” and “Homewrecker” in 
red lipstick on a bathroom mirror. Pictured below, Mallery 
told police that Siler-Fischer texted her a photo showing 
Mallery’s bedroom.


Police also report that Siler-Fisher left unused condoms on 
each step of a stairway inside Mallery’s home.

Siler-Fisher is scheduled to be arraigned in Harris County 
District Court on December 11. 

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: many
Re: Is Yahoo broken or dead?

>From Crazyefa
Been using yahoo email for years since 95.  Don't use web 
interface much any more with mobile apps. 

>From Jorge
Regarding Yahoo, recently they have taken to showing a 
message that my screen settings are below their recommended 
1024 x 600 pixels:
That's O.K (however my screen is set to 1152 x 852)
It used to let me hit "continue" and then open the email site...
But now it just freezes there; shows a quick flash of the 
first page, then goes back to the notice message...
I have to use a special code (copy of a past Firefox code for 
the page) to get to see my yahoo email at all....

>From Randall
I have used yahoo mail for a long while for gaming info and 
unimportant things. All else of my important emails i run 
thru my gmail account and have learned a long time ago that 
Yahoo mail is not reliable. Since going to gmail for my 
valued items, I have not missed a issue of your newsletter. 
And since yahoo has redone their appearance with the email 
I have noticed a lot more people are complaining about 
that too...

etc.

It sure looks like they want to force all the yahoos to stop
using computers and to switch to mobile devices. 
Yahoo probably gets a kick-back from the carriers for every
time you go to Yahoo with your mobile device.

Well, there are plenty of alternatives, that you can 
upgrade to.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Tar and Grease from Clothing
For removing tar and grease from clothing, I first use 
some WD-40 and work it into the spot until it starts to 
break down. Then I use some cream-type hand cleaner 
(available at an auto-parts store) and rub that into the 
remaining spot. Then, if needed, I use a small bit of baby 
shampoo and warm water to remove anything that is left 
before tossing in the clothes washer. This has always worked 
with even the hardest roofing tars and auto grease stains. 
Good Luck!

By Terence R. 

"Cream Type Handcleaner" is also sold at mot hardware stores as
"Waterless Handcleaner". It gets stiff in the cold, but does not
freeze, and does not burst the container, when it warms up. 
It's a good thing to have in your trunk in winter.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Sad News
There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity
Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been
able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the
stable.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A Somali arrives in Toronto as a new immigrant to Canada.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street
and says, " Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country,
giving me housing, foods vouchers, free medical care and 
free education!"

The passer-by says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican"

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you
for  having such a beautiful country here in Canada!"

The person says, "I no Canadian, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees
he stops, shakes his hand and says
"Thank you for the wonderful Canada!"

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East,
I am not Canadian!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks "Are you a Canadian?"

She says, "No, I am from Russia!"

Puzzled he asks her, "Where are all the Canadians?"

The Russian lady checks her watch and says:
"Probably at work!"


An airhead was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. 
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The airhead replies, "Oh, that's easy...W."




» Canadian Pacific Christmas Train





Today, December 8, in
1765 Eli Whitney was born in Westboro, MA. Whitney invented
 the cotton gin and developed the concept of mass-production 
 of interchangeable parts, that fit different devices.
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American 
 Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to 
 Pennsylvania.
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate 
 Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, 
 was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived.
1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for 
 the Reconstruction of the South.
1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and 
 became the first world heavyweight champion.
1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared 
 war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese 
 attacked Pearl Harbor. Britain and Canada also declared war 
 on Japan.
1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese 
 mainland to Formosa (Taiwan) due to Communists pressure.
1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began 
 striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The strike 
 lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963.
1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found 
 guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under 
 a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism.
1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held 
 the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up 
 with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later 
 he was shot to death by police.
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine 
 publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry 
 Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was 
 awarded $200,000 for emotional distress.
1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. 
 Gorbachev signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' 
 arsenals of intermediate-range nuclear missiles.
1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in 
 the Israeli-occupied territories began.
1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender 
 their control over the government and accept a minority role 
 in a coalition Cabinet.
1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet 
 national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance 
 to be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The 
 act was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as 
 unconstitutional.
1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. 
 troops landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation 
 Restore Hope.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North 
 American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA).
1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement 
 that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation 
 would merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion.
1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime 
 minister of New Zealand.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search 
 a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic 
 violation.
1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. 
 The file contained over 1,300 pages.
1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data 
 networking business for $5 billion cash.
1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history 
 was played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0.
1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an 
 economic and political confederation.
2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins 
 that he planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) 
 as a player at age 35. He would be the first modern 
 owner-player in U.S. pro sports. 
2013  smiled.

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---

Is Yahoo dead or just broken? 

Saturday, December 7, 2013, 09:51 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, December 7.





Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a bonehead, who shot a golfer, who broke a window
on his house at the 16th hole of a golf course.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


-29, wind chill -40

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing 
he was never reasoned into.
--- Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)


A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first   
performance of the Ice Capades.   

She was so mesmerised that she wouldn't budge from her seat   
even during intermission, watching the activity while the ice   
was cleaned. At the end of the show, she exclaimed, "I know   
what I want to be when I grow up!"   

The mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years,   
starring in the Ice Capades. She was brought back to earth   
when she continued, "I want to be a Zamboni driver!"   



 

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders
were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker
on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general
seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker
on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have
orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm
new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"




Click on the picture for the large version
Potted Fox

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jeff Fleming, 53, Reno, Nevada

Jailed After Shooting Golfer 
After Errant Ball Breaks Window 

Nevada man accused of shooting a golfer who broke a window 
at his home with an errant ball has pleaded guilty to a 
felony charge.

Jeff Fleming of Reno entered the plea to battery with a 
deadly weapon on Thursday in Washoe County District Court. 
He faces from probation to 10 years in prison and a $10,000 
fine when he's sentenced Dec. 12.

The golfer was unable to find his ball and was doing a drop 
shot on the 16th hole of the Lakeridge Golf Course when 
Fleming approached and fired a single shot at him with a 
shotgun, prosecutors said. The golfer was treated for minor 
injuries to an arm and both legs at a hospital.

Deputy District Attorney Sean Neahusan said neighbors along 
the golf course were stunned as it's common for stray golf 
balls to hit their homes.

"Live on a golf course and you got to expect your house to 
get hit every once in a while," he told The Associated Press. 
"This (shooting) is one of those stories that you just can't 
make it up."

Fleming, 53, has expressed remorse and shock over his 
reaction to the broken window, Neahusan said, adding he 
apparently has no felony criminal record.

In return for Fleming's guilty plea, prosecutors agreed to 
drop an assault with a deadly weapon charge and to go along 
with the Division of Parole and Probation's recommended 
sentence for him.

Police said the golfer and his partner ran away after the 
shot was fired and it wasn't until they were safe that the 
golfer realized he had been hit. One or two shotgun pellets 
had to be removed from his body at the hospital.

The area around the 16th hole was evacuated after the shooting. 
Fleming drove to his attorney's office, where he surrendered 
without incident.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Dianne
Re: Is Yahoo dead?

Dear Webby,
am I the only one having problems with yahoo.com ?
I can't get usual link to open or anything else in there 
but when i do full route, I can get page but not open mail!
Dianne

Dear Dianne
Since you only get your subscriptions at your Yahoo address
once or twice a month, why do you bother? 
You do have good addresses on the side.

I have no idea if Yahoo got any worse than usual. 
If there are some subscribers, who still use yahoo mail,
please hit REPLY and tell me how it works for you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keeping Drawer Organizers in Place 
This is such a simple tip, that I don't know why I didn't 
use this before. Every time I opened the drawer with the 
knives, spoons, and forks in the tray or utensil organizer, 
that entire plastic organizer would shift back and forth. 
I finally stuck a piece of double sided sticky tape 
underneath it on the bottom side, and now there's no 
slipping of that utensil tray each time I open and shut it.

By suz123 from Las Vegas, NV 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Showing his friend around his his home, Shayne started to
point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired
over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got
just to see how much it's all worth."

"But you couldn't possibly know the day before you were
going to die, so how could you sell it."

"Simple: When I sell it, my wife will kill me!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Mrs. Smith was a hypochondriac. Dr. Jones was fed up with her
constant complaints about non-existent illnesses, so he started
palming her off with a mild sedative to keep her happy.

One day she complained about chest pains and the doctor prescribed
his usual treatment. This time however, the pain was real and Mrs.
Smith died of a heart attack.

On hearing of her death, Dr. Jones was so upset he died of shock.
Mrs. Smith and Dr. Jones were buried next to each other in the
cemetery.

The next morning, Dr. Jones heard a tapping on his coffin, followed
by a voice saying, "Dr. Jones, this is Mrs. Smith. Do you have
anything for worms?"


A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining
the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had
any experience

The man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most
famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me
everything he knew."

"Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to
make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?"

"Yes he did," the man replied.

"And did he teach you how to have six lions form a
pyramid?"

"Yes he did," the man replied.

"And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?"

"Just once," the man replied.

The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?"

The man said, "I was looking for my father."




» 101 Household Tips




Today, December 7, in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France.
1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S. 
 constitution becoming the first of the United States.
1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri 
 became the first referee to officiate from inside a 
 boxing ring.
1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 
 150-yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 
 seconds. He went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies.
1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The 
 Electrolux Servel Corporation.
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu 
 was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack 
 resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II.
1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 
 people. The hotel founder, W. Frank Winecoff, was also 
 killed in the fire.
1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British 
 Petroleum's assets. Britain never forgave Gadhafi for that.
1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the 
 last U.S. moon mission.
1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand 
 E. Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by assailant. 
 The man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards.
1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five 
 months in exile.
1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow 
 passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest 
 Airlines jetliner.
1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major 
 earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The 
 quake measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale.
1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the 
 reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by 
 half a million.
1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate 
 with the plan for free elections and a revised constitution.
1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion 
 law which, required women to get counseling and then wait 
 24 hours before terminating their pregnancies.
1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S. 
 government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests 
 in secret at its Nevada test site.
1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into 
 Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the 
 mothership before it was destroyed.
1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an 
 independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 
 1996 campaign financing.
2013  smiled.

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---

Problem printing with new printer 

Friday, December 6, 2013, 11:16 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, December 6.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!







Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a bimbo, who broke a glass 
crack pipe in her vagina
Details at International Bonehead Awards


Re Town Names:
Thanks to James  Q:
Santa, Claus, Indiana


In Europe they have St Nicholas, based on a real saint, who
had distributed goodies to poor kids. He died on a 
December 6 in the 3rd century. 

On the eve of December 6, actually December 5 after dark,
a St Nicholas dressed like a bishop, not like the Coca Cola
style North American Santa, comes around, accompanied by a
devil or servant. He reads each kid a list (secretly provided
by the parents) of what they did right and what they didn't.
For what they did right, they get a baggie of goodies, usually
gingerbread, an orange or mandarin, some cookies and maybe
some chocolate. 

For what they did wrong, the devil spanks them, usually with
a handful of willows.

All through growing up I had been threatened to be sent to
Jagdberg, an old fortress converted to a juvenile jail and
dormitory school. Somehow I just barely escaped that fate
each time by a hair. 

Quite ironically, while at the university, a professor asked
for a volunteer to go play Saint Nicholas at Jagdberg, and
looked straight at me. Yes, I did go.
Imagine somebody dressed up as Saint Nicholas, on a motorcycle.
At Jagdberg they opened the big fort gate fro me to ride in,
took me into the kitchen, put some make-up and beard on me,
and fed me some Schnaps, to reduce my stage fright.

Then one class after the other, I talked to each kid, praised
and scolded them, and some of them I had to spank.

The staff looked on with worried miens, constantly glancing
at their watches. I had to talk to 335 kids, and was 
supposed to take less than a minute each. They fed me a small
glass of eggnog between each class to keep my voice from 
getting too raspy, and by about 10:30 I finished. 

They fed me a really nice dagwood sandwich, and bid me good 
night. So I hopped on my bike and on my way towards home, of
course stopped where my girlfriend was. She was working at
a hospital and was living in a nun's dormitory building.

Mary knew the sound of my bike, and after revving it a few
times below her window, she opened it and tossed down the
key. It was an ancient bronze key about eight inches long,
and the blade was about an inch. From having been tossed 
down from the third floor for many centuries, it was scratched
and nicked and pretty rough, but it worked on the big black
door. The metal clad heavy door was well oiled and totally 
silent.

Up on the third floor Mary waited for me and let me onto that
floor. She did some giggling about my get-up, which prompted
doors to open and heads to pop out like a gopher convention.
So I had to do my Saint Nicholas speech to about a dozen nurses,
before I could finally escape into Mary's room for some
well deserved R&R.

I did get home before daylight.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















You can never learn less; you can only learn more.
The reason I know so much is because I have made so
many mistakes.
--- Buckminster Fuller


From Dianne a good old Classic:
 HOSPITAL BILL
You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in 
a store.The store clerks Called 911 when they saw him collapse 
to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where 
he had emergency Open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care 
of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to 
his bed holding a clipboard Loaded with several forms, and 
a pen. She asked him how he was going to Pay for his 
treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" 
asked the irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are 
not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my 
brother-in-law."



 

My sister decided that marriage is not for her. She has no
end of trouble trying to double any recipe in the book.
For example her oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jeana Marie Smart, 26, Fargo, North Dakota

Jailed After breaking crack 
pipe in her vagina

Jeana Marie Smart, a 26-year-old North Dakota woman, was 
jailed Sunday after officers discovered a broken crack 
pipe inside her vagina.

According to police, emergency responders and officers were
dispatched to the 3500 block of Main Avenue Sunday after 
receiving a report of an accident with possible injuries.

Arriving officers soon discovered that a woman, later 
identified as Smart, rear-ended another vehicle after 
failing to brake in time for slowing traffic.

While processing the scene, officers learned that 
Smart had an outstanding warrant for her arrest from 
a previous drug possession and drug paraphernalia 
charge. She was arrested and transported to the 
Cass County Jail for booking.

As the officer and Smart left the patrol car to begin the 
booking process, the officer noticed a pool of blood on the 
seat of the patrol car where Smart was sitting. When 
questioned about it, Smart told the officer that she was 
having menstrual issues, however the officer noticed that 
Smart continued to bleed heavily from her groin and the 
blood dripped from her pants as she walked.

After continued questioning about the blood, Smart finally 
admitted to having a glass pipe hidden inside her vagina. 
Officers performed a body cavity search and recovered the 
shattered remains of a broken glass pipe along with a 
capped syringe from her vagina.

She was then transported to a local hospital where she was 
treated for her injuries before getting a ride back to jail.

She was booked into the Cass County Jail and charged with 
possession of a controlled substance and possessing drug 
paraphernalia. She was released after posting $2,000 bail.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: George
Re: Printing problem

Dear Webby,
I have purchased a new printer, and finally have it added 
to my computer, but I have problems printing.  Yes, I can 
print one page, for example, the first page of my airline 
travel itinerary.  However, the right margin is missing, 
so I do not even get my bar code which I need at the airport 
to check in.  On the left is information of Inbox, etc that 
I do not even need.  Also, there is information on subsequent 
pages that I cannot even get at all!
Can you please help this poor soul, who plans to visit his 
family for the Christmas season on Saturday?
 
George

Dear George
Printers are different.
However, if you print from a browser like FireFox, 
the browser will take care of most of the fitting chores.
Click on FILE
PageSetup
and in there, either manually adjust the zoom 
to shrink it or else put a checkmark onto 
"Shrink to fit"

There are all kinds of settings in there, that you
can adjust, like side and top and bottom margins.

You can also select to print in landscape mode.
However, e-Tickets and boarding passes are 
usually best printed in normal portrait mode.
That is what the airlines do with their automatic
boarding pass printers. 

In there you can also tell it how many pages you want
it to print. If pages 2 - 8 are just small print, that
you are not going to read anyway, then tell it to print 
just page 1.

With stuff like that, don't try to print a screen shot.
It CAN be done, if you know how to edit pictures.
Best just let the browser handle the printing.

By the way, don't try to print from hoemail!
Look for the link to view in your browser.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Repairing A Door Knob Hole in Wall
You see a lot of these holes in the wall where a doorknob 
has gone through the sheet rock or wallboard. You can use a 
laundry detergent bottle cap for this as fix. Find the size 
cap that slides into the round knob hole. Apply a small bead 
of silicone seal or gorilla glue to the back of the flare-out 
on the cap. Insert and let dry. Presto! Now the doorknob 
will fit into the wall.

You can also dress this up by cutting out the hole size 
(2 1/2 inches) in a small piece of paneling. Arrange how 
you want it to look, and glue it behind the cap-flare 
before inserting in the wall.

Source: Inspired by Poor But Proud of this website.
By VIETVET from Perkinston, MS 

Before doing any of that, install a proper door stop,
otherwise the next gust of wind will punch your fix into
the wall, and make an even bigger hole.

For a professional fix get a piece of cardboard, some
wall patch and a putty knife. Put a few wood screws into
the cardboard, so that you can hold it after you wiggle
it into the hole. Smear some wall patch onto the cardboard, 
where it contacts the wall board from behind and hold it a
minute with the screws. After that you can let go and let 
it cure for an hour or so. 

Remove the screws and gently fill the hole level with the 
wall. Don't be too fussy. It will shrink and require a thin
finishing layer after sanding anyway.

After a final sanding it will be flush with the wall and
can be painted.

However, all of that is a waste of time, if you don't first
install a proper door stop.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of
migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history
and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has
had practically every therapy known to man for his
migraines and STILL no improvement.

"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines, too and the
advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I
learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've
gotten from my own experience.

When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot
bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife
sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand,
especially around the forehead. This helps a little.
Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom,
and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to
have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is
immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and
see me in six weeks."

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
"Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS!
I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST
time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds,
"I fixed that dripping tap in your bath."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly 
clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor 
vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift 
for her son.  She brought her selection, a baseball bat, 
to the cash register.

"Cash or charge," the clerk asked.

"Cash," she snapped, then apologizing for her rudeness.
She explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the department
of motor vehicles and I am way past sane."

The clerk kindly asked, "Shall I gift wrap the bat,
or are you going back there?"


I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday   
morning when the loud-speaker announced:   

"Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. 
Knock off all unnecessary work."   

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our 
daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:   
"Resume all unnecessary work."   




» the Wrench Guy




Today, December 6, in
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state 
 education system.
1790 The U.S. Congress moved from New York to Philadelphia.
1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S.
1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with 
 a recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb.
1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed 
 by Army engineers. The project took 34 years.
1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and 
 only president of the Confederate States of America.
1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's 
 worst mine disaster.
1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships 
 collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia.
1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia.
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a 
 self-governing dominion of Britain
1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors.
1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by 
 U.S. President Truman.
1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International 
 Brotherhood of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987.
1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit 
 failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape 
 Canaveral, FL.
1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of 
 the United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned.

1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb 
 exploded in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish 
 National Liberation Army was responsible for planting the 
 bomb.
1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing 
 six Israelis and wounding 44.
1985 Congressional negotiators reached an agreement on a 
 deficit-cutting proposal that later became the 
 Gramm-Rudman-Hollings law.
1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred 
 when a man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's 
 school of engineering. The man then killed himself.
1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 
 foreign hostages.
1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a 
 mosque. The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting 
 resulted in at least 2,000 people being killed.
1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20 
 years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children 
 in the 1960s.
1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due 
 to investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one 
 of the richest in the U.S. and became to largest municipality 
 to file for bankruptcy.
1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a 
 residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 
 70 people were killed.
1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was 
 elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt 
 against the government six years earlier.
1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected 
 the first two building blocks of the international space 
 station in the shuttle cargo bay.
2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation 
 and 480 hours of community service stemming from her 
 conviction for shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was 
 also ordered to pay $10,000 in fines and restitution.
2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million 
 memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval 
 fountain was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park.

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---

Pictures for desktop 

Thursday, December 5, 2013, 12:31 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, December 5.


Thank you Roswitha!



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a bimbo, who faked a marriage certificate after her
acquaintance died in a car crash.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


-26 and headwind on the uphill stretch of my walk. 
By the time I got to the top, I had worked up a sweat, 
except for my feet. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
--- Jimmy Buffett


Once upon a time, a woman had a wonderful, faithful cat.
One day, a man ran over the cat accidentally with his car.
So, the man went to the old woman and said,
"I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him."

"That so nice of you!", said the old woman, deeply touched.
"You can sleep at the foot of my bed and catch mice 
at night."



 

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate
your relatives.  In fact, I like your mother-in-law
better than I like mine."




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Allison Lear, Las Vegas, Nevada

Jailed After getting caught 
faking a marriage license

LAS VEGAS — A Las Vegas woman has been accused of forging 
a marriage certificate so she could keep her racecar-driving 
boyfriend's possessions after he died three years ago when 
his Porsche veered off a mountain road in northern Nevada.

Allison Lear was arrested on outstanding warrants May 25 at 
the Hakkasan nightclub at the MGM Grand. She faces charges 
of forgery and perjury in what family members characterize 
as a callous attempt at gold-digging from Alexander Djordjevic, 
who died at age 37.

"I wouldn't say there was a big love there," Slobodan Djordjevic, 
Alexander Djordjevic's father, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. 
"I think she was just looking for material things."

In 2009, Lear posted a profile on a match-making website that 
seeks to pair millionaires with companions. Family members 
said she and Djordjevic had been dating for several months 
when his silver Porsche careened off a mountain highway on 
June 26, 2010, during the Speed by Spectre 341 Challenge 
race near Virginia City.

Later, in court, Lear showed a marriage certificate indicating 
she and Djordjevic had married just five days before his death 
at her parents' home in Las Vegas. Relatives – including Lear's 
father – question whether such a wedding ever happened.

According to probate court documents, John Lear told 
attorneys he "would have known if his daughter had been 
married at 4 a.m. on June 21, 2010, in his home."
Seems she forgot to invite her father or at least tell 
him about it afterwards.

Police cite two problems with the document. 
The Idaho minister who supposedly performed the ceremony 
never applied for a temporary permit to conduct a Nevada 
wedding, officials said. He told officers he'd been asked 
to sign a back-dated marriage certificate after he learned 
of Djordjevic's death, but refused.

Also, police have been unable to find the witness listed 
on the certificate.

Unsettled questions about the marriage have amplified the 
heartache for Djordjevic's family at a time when they were 
mourning his sudden death.

"Losing him was hard," Djordjevic's father said. 
"But what happened after was very, very hard."

As his widow, Lear prevented Djordjevic's parents from 
seeing his body at the Washoe County coroner's office, 
according to the Review-Journal. Three months and a 
court battle later, they were finally allowed to bury 
him, the newspaper reported.

She also held onto his possessions, including two sports 
cars and a gun collection. Court documents said his estate 
was valued between $100,000 and $200,000.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Bonnie
Re: Desktop Background

Dear Webby,
I have a question that you may be able to help with (or not).
I find tons of photos all over the internet that I love
to use for our desktop background, changing it often.
Most of the time they work; other times, they come out
in repeat squares of the photo all over the screen rather
than one very nice photo.  I’ve attached 2 of those that
do this; would you open them, then try to choose as
background and see what happens.  If you get repeats
all over too, is there any chance you can tell me why?

I know that with my luck, they’ll work fine for you!  If that’s
the case, then I give up and will just hang on to the ones
I find that work and say c’est la vie.  I look forward to
hearing from you whenever you have time to play
around.  Thanks a bunch and also many thanks always
for my DearWebby letter; I love them!

Bonnie in NH

Dear Bonnie
Those pictures are too small to look nice when stretched
to the entire desktop. For best results, resize pictures to
whatever you have set for your screen resolution.
If you have your resolution set to 1600 x 1200 (like I do),
then a 400 x 300 picture would have to be stretched
4 times, and probably would look very coarse and ugly.

Sometimes you can shuffle the size up in increments.
Double the size, do an edge-preserving-smoothing,
sharpen a bit, then increase the size again, and so on.
It doesn't work with all pictures, but some may be worth
trying.

You can force the desktop to stretch a picture instead of
tiling it, but that usually makes nice pictures look 
rather ugly.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Know Store Return Policy 
Before Buying 
Before purchasing something from a store, make sure you 
know and understand their return policies, and how they 
apply to what you are buying. Most stores have restocking 
fees for opened items and some items like software cannot 
be returned if opened. Also, some stores only accept 
returns of certain types of items, like electronics, for 
anywhere from 7 to 30 days after purchase.

By Fisher

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

There once was an old penny pincher who had no friends. 
Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor 
to gather around him at bedside.

"I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But 
I want to disprove that theory," he said. "I have $90,000 
under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw 
the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in 
an envelope with $30,000 enclosed."

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope 
in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor 
said, "I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, 
so I only threw in $20,000." 

The doctor then said, "I must confess too. I needed $20,000 
for a new clinic I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000."

The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then 
said, "Gentlemen, I'm surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. 
I don't see how you could dare to go against that man's 
final wish. 
I threw in my personal check for the full amount!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Thanks to Bonnie for this:

For the First pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
A post from a week ago.

For the second pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
2 web crashes
And a post from a Week ago.

For the third pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
3 error messages
2 web crashes
And A post from a week ago.

For the forth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error Messages
2 web crashes
And a post from a week ago.

For the fifth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
5 frozen PM's
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 Error messages
2 web crashes
And a post from a week ago.

For the sixth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 
6 disconnection's
5 frozen PM's
4 Jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes
And a post from a week ago.

For the seventh pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
7 hours with no mail
6 Disconnection's
5 frozen PM's
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 Web crashes
And a post from a week ago.

For the eighth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
8 channels not working
7 hours With no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM's
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 Error messages
2 web crashes
And a post from a week ago.

For the ninth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
9 Dumb advertisements
8 channels Not working
7 hours with no mail
6 disconnections
5 frozen PM's
4 Jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes
And a post from a Week ago.

For The tenth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
10 propositions
9 Dumb Advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours with no mail
6 Disconnection's
5 frozen PM's
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 Web crashes
And a post from a week ago

For the eleventh pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
11 pieces of Spam
10 Propositions
9 Dumb advertisements
8 channels not working
7 hours With no mail
6 Disconnection's
5 frozen PM's
4 jerks at Tech Help
3 error messages
2 web crashes
And a post from a week ago.

For the twelfth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me
12 reasons to unsubscribe.

Bonnie


Thanks to Cookie for this story:
My two brothers arrived at boot camp together.
On the first morning, their unit was dragged out of bed by a
drill sergeant and made to assemble outside.
"My name's Sergeant Jackson," he snarled.
"Is there anyone here who thinks he can whip me?"

My six-foot-three, 280-pound, brother raised his hand and said,
"Yes sir, I do."
The Sergeant replied with a snarl, "I had my eye on you
and I was hoping you would say that."

The sergeant grabbed him by the arm and led him out in
front of the entire group.
"Men," he said, "this is my new assistant. Now is there
anyone here who thinks he can whip both of us?"




» Matchstick Machines




Today, December 5, in
1492 Christopher Columbus discovered Hispaniola (now Haiti).
1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death 
 of Francis II.
1766 James Christie, founder of the famous auctioneers, held 
 his first sale in London.
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began.
1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces 
 for the invasion of England.
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were 
 retreating from Russia.
1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by 
 confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California.
1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The 
 device was the first practical pipe wrench.
1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at 
 Port Arthur, during the Russo-Japanese War.
1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland.
1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa 
 making it possible for him to travel to the U.S.
1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 
 36th state to ratify 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops 
 on the Somalian border.
1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with 
 plotting against Joseph Stalin's government.
1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydroponics 
 operation was established.
1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution under 
 a Supreme Council.
1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy.
1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S. 
 Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a 
 training mission at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. 
 They were never heard from again.
1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in 
 Washington, DC.
1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from 
 Egypt during the Suez War.
1962 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to cooperate 
 in the peaceful uses of outer space.
1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria, 
 Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel.
1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus, 
 began beaming back its first information and pictures
1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were 
 killed when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment 
 building.
1986 The Soviet Union said it would continue to abide by 
 the SALT II treaty limits on nuclear weapons. This was 
 despite the decision by the U.S. to exceed them.
1989 Israeli soldiers killed five heavily armed Arab 
 guerrillas who crossed the border from Egypt. 
1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under 
 house arrest.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin kept the power to 
 appoint Cabinet ministers, defeating a constitutional 
 amendment that would have put his team of reformers 
 under the control of Russia's Congress.
1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 
 23 years after his father was the head. His father disappeared 
 and was presumed dead.
2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a 
 temporary administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. 
 Two women were included in the cabinet structure. Hamid 
 Karzai and his Cabinet were planned to take over power 
 in Afghanistan on December 22.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications 
 downloaded. 

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---

Thumb drive to transfer files to W8 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013, 11:05 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 4.


Thank you Joanne C.!



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to 
a bimbo, who set her boyfriend's underwear on fire,
after trashing kitchen appliances, because he forgot 
to get her some cigarettes.
Details at International Bonehead Awards



The blizzard stopped and the wind slowed down while I went
for my daily walk. -26, but the ruts in the unplowed roads
sure heated me up. To have a bit better balance I tied 
Copper's chain around me like a ski lift tow-bar. That left
my hands free for waving and regaining my balance. Copper
had no problem with the ruts and figured we could go at 
normal speed. So, except for a frozen face, I worked up 
quite a sweat.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















An opinion should be the result of thought, 
not a substitute for it.
--- Jef Mallett,


>From Lu
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new
office, and his staff was helping transport many of the
items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car,
his bony arm across the back of my seat.

I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became
obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering
him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell
you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"



 

An applicant was filling out a job application.  When he came
to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote,
"No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in
the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Amber Gray, 21, Carson City, Nevada

Jailed After Burning Boyfriend's 
Briefs During Argument Over Cigarettes

Reported by the Weakly Vice
Amber Gray, a 21-year-old Nevada woman, was jailed Tuesday 
after she allegedly set her boyfriend's underwear on fire 
after he forgot to buy her cigarettes.

According to the Carson City Sheriff's Office, deputies 
were dispatched to the couple's home at about 5 a.m. 
Tuesday morning after receiving a report of a domestic 
dispute inside the residence.

Arriving deputies made contact with a man who stated that 
his girlfriend had set his underwear on fire inside of their 
home during an argument over cigarettes.

Investigators say the girlfriend, Amber Gray, became upset 
when her boyfriend forgot to purchase cigarettes for her 
during a recent trip to the store. In retaliation, Gray 
allegedly destroyed several household items before striking 
the boyfriend in the face with a water bottle.  She then 
set a pair of her boyfriend's underwear on fire and let it 
burn in the hallway of their home.

The boyfriend responded by moving the burning briefs to a 
bath tub while Gray fled the apartment.

Two other residents who live inside the home confirmed 
the boyfriend's account of the altercation - although 
deputies were unable to find injury on the man from 
the alleged water bottle attack.

Gray was later found at a local casino where she was 
taken into custody.

She was booked into jail and charged with felony arson 
and domestic battery.  Her bail has been set at $43,000

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Ron
Re: Transfer files from XP to W8

Dear Webby,
I have gotten help from you before and it is 
always good. Now I just bought a new computer W/ W8 
and need to transfer many old pics. and music and some 
data. Can I just use a Thumb drive, like you mentioned
the other day, with all the stuff that I want to transfer 
and then plug that into the rather klutzy W8 machine?.

I have not yet put the new computer to much use and am 
waiting to see if this will work. 

Thanks for the timely info I always got. Next is trying 
to find utilities to make that user-hostile W8 usable.
Thanks again. 
Ron

Dear Ron
Yes, it will definitely work.
Everything from XP on reads thumb drives and card readers
just fine.
Make a plan first about where you want to put the pictures.
You probably have a huge hard drive now, that would be a
lot more manageable, if you partition it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Clean Mini-Blinds Outdoors
I put my mini-blinds on the outdoor table and hose and wash 
with the car wash brush, then flip and do the other side. 
I hang them on the clothes line to dry. Kids can do this 
chore. 

By Sharon C. from Chesapeake, VA 
I hang them on the clothes line, 
spray them lightly with Simple Green, and then do them as
recommended by Sharon. They drip-dry without any spots.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a
drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at
noon," answers the clerk.

About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy,
sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?"
He asks.

"Same time as before... Noon," Replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered.
"Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"

The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you
can't wait, I can have room service send something up
to you."

"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Thanks to a reader who does not want his name mentioned,
for sending this joke:
A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 noticed a
really beautiful woman sitting next to him.

He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must
be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said the
Delta Airline slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a confused look and he immediately thought
to himself: "Damn, she doesn't work for Delta Airlines."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head.
He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look.
He then removed Singapore Airlines off the list.
Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk."
This time the woman turned to him
"What the HELL do you want?"
The man smiled, then leaned back in his chair, and said
"Ahhhhh, British Airways!"


Sven was out shopping in the mall when he met his
friend Ole outside  the  jewelers. Ole  noticed that
Sven had a small  gift-wrapped box in his  hand.
"So  vat have you just purchased Sven?" Ole asks.

"Vell,  now that you've  asked,"  replies Sven,
"it's my Lena's birthday tomorrow and I asked her this
morning vat she vanted for her birthday she said,
'Oh, I don't know, dear, yust  give me something with a
lot of diamonds in it.'"
"So vat did you get her?" Ole asks.

Sven replied, smiling, "I bought her a deck of cards."
--------
He will be sleeping out in the barn until further notice.




» Essential Oils




Today, December 4, in
1783 Gen. George Washington said farewell to his officers at 
 Fraunces Tavern in New York.
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower.
1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to 
 attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the 
 first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the 
 dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. 
1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the 
 first time during World War II.
1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced 
 that any club was free to employ black players.
1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. 
 Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board.
1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter.
1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, 
 crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost 
 more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later.
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman 
 mayor when she was named to replace George Moscone, who 
 had been murdered.
1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions 
 in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American 
 reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was 
 shot down and captured by Syria.
1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a 
 Kuwaiti airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land 
 in Tehran. Two American passengers were killed by the 
 hijackers.
1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 
 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising.
1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of 
 heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt.
1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding.
1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released 
 after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon.
1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops 
 to lead a mercy mission to Somalia.
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes 
 formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing 
 an estimated 1,000 people per day.
1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peace-
 keepers they were holding as insurance against further 
 NATO airstrikes.
2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another 
 motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching 
 the other motorists face while pulling off the man's glasses.
2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI 
 in an ongoing two year international investigation into 
 drug trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money 
 laundering. Some satellite descrambler parts were taken 
 from Simpson's home but no drugs were found. 

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---

Email link with subject and body embedded 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013, 01:35 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 3.


Thank you, Lou!



Home4Christmas.com is for 
sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to 
a bonehead, who erroneously believed he could 
get away from a herd of armed cops.
Details at International Bonehead Awards


>From Lillemor
Please note warning recently issued by the FBI:
WARNING: 
After a recent wave of identify thefts, the FBI estimates 
there are over 500 fake Obamacare websites set up for the 
sole purpose of stealing your personal information. 
Protect yourself and remember: the real one is the only one 
that does not work.

The blizzard is still howling, second night in a row. 
Visibility is excellent, above the clouds, but only about
a hundred feet down here. There is just enough snow, so 
that you can't tell the difference between road and sidewalk
and lawn, unless you try to do a donut. Sure makes it easy 
to turn around if you slide too far!

There is very little traffic and everybody is driving nice 
and slow, except for doing a donut now and then, when we
figure nobody can see us.

Typical with blizzards from the North, my front stoop has
a foot high drift of snow, the steps are clear and so is the
concrete going to the garage door.

Five feet out from the garage door, there is the familiar
big drift, pretending to be a dune.

Wind is supposed to slow down on Wednesday, but they say
it is going to get colder than -25. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















The income tax has made more liars out of the American 
people than golf has.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned
by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down.
--- Hector Berlioz

yeah, happens to writers too.


At the candy store Judi had about 20 bags of candy.
A smart-alek behind her in line told her:
"You should push the air out of them. The candies
might cost less if they don't have the weight of the air in
them."

So for a few minutes she let the air out of the bags.
After she did that he told her it didn't really matter. 
It would have weighed the same.

Judi was more confused than ever and said,
"If having air in the bag doesn't weigh any more, 
then why does it make the bags look so fat?"



 

It was young Anthony's first ride in a railway train, and
the succession of wonders reduced him to a state of
hysterical astonishment.

The train rounded a slight bend and, with a shriek of its
whistle, plunged into a tunnel. There were gasps of
surprise from the corner where Anthony was kneeling
on his seat. Suddenly the train rushed into broad
daylight again, and a small voice lifted in wonder.

"Wow! It's tomorrow!" exclaimed the small boy.




Click on the picture for the large version
Hairy babysitter!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Ronald Carr Murray Jr., 52, in Titusville, Floriduh

Crook flees for extra jail time

A Brevard County Sheriff’s Office deputy opened fire on a 
fleeing suspect Saturday night in the parking lot of one 
of Titusville’s best-known restaurants.

The gunfire occurred about 9 p.m. at Dixie Crossroads on 
Garden Street. That’s when 52-year-old Titusville resident 
Ronald Carr Murray Jr. — who was wanted on a warrant for 
criminal mischief — resisted arrest and jumped into a 
vehicle, said Deputy Maria Fernez, BCSO spokeswoman.

Murray’s vehicle dragged a deputy several feet across the 
parking lot, Fernez said. The deputy opened fire at the 
vehicle. The bullets did not hit anybody, but did hit the
vehicle, she said.

A vehicle chase ensued, with Titusville police joining in
the fun. Murray was arrested when he returned to his home 
on Talmadge Drive, a short residential street west of 
Whispering Hills Golf Estates.

Murray was charged with aggravated battery on a law 
enforcement officer, fleeing and eluding, and resisting 
arrest with violence. His bond was set at $200,000 Sunday.

His warrant stemmed from a September arrest, when Titusville 
police charged him with criminal mischief valued at $200 or 
less, clerk of courts records show. The warrant was issued 
in October after he failed to attend a court arraignment.

Fernez did not identify the deputy who opened fire, nor did 
she disclose how many shots were fired.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Chris
Re: Fancy email link

Dear Webby,
I have a question about email and html. I know how to make
a link in html for people to click on to bring up an email to
send to you, but is there a way to also automatically add
the subject? So in my webpage I would have the link so when
they click on it it opens their email program and automatically
puts in my email address in the To field, but I would like
to know if there is a way to make the subject field fill in
automatically as well. I checked around in the html  tutorial
that you have a link to (which proved to be very useful in
building the rest of my webpage) but I did not see anything
about adding the subject to emails.  So if that is even
possible, how would I do it?
Thanks,
Chris

Dear Chris
That is no problem at all!

mailto:santa@webby.com?bcc=t@posty.net
&subject=Report%20For%20This%20week
&body=Been%20 good%20again.%0D%0AReally!

Paste those 3 lines together into one, unbroken line,
without any empty spaces in it.

That fills out the main addresses
santa@webby.com
and a BCC address
chrswmmr@cfl.rr.com
and the  subject and the body.

That's all there is to it.
Since the desktop is basically just an HTML page,
you can even make a shortcut and paste that into
the run line.

If you put a group address into the BCC, that
makes it really easy to send a letter to a team or
entire address book category.

For real fun, prepare a shortcut like that,
on your secretary's or your spouse's machine, with her
confiding her undying love and wicked lust for the
fax machine (or somebody),
and change the icon of the shortcut to the same
as the one used for the word processor.

Every time they hit that icon, an email opens, already
written and ready to hit send.
Get ready for some very loud noise when she or he
catches on!

You can make the body text as long as you want,
just don't leave any empty spaces. Instead of spaces
use %20.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Shopping for Christmas
For my Christmas shopping this year, I make sure I wear 
comfortable walking shoes, and put on my iPod with peppy 
music. Shopping malls know you will take your time if you 
hear Christmas music, and will walk slowly, visiting more 
stores.

I put on rock music or dance music. This way I walk faster, 
do my cardio (almost), and complete my shopping in record 
time. Happy holidays to all!

By Bob from Montreal, Canada

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

This is a Classic, that I featured about seven years ago.
Time to run it again:

I got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes: 
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and 
saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling 
particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a 
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous 
prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my 
bumper.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just 
lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I 
didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good 
thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, 
I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people 
love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started 
honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window 
and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! 
Jesus Christ, GO!" 
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and 
started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I 
even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There 
must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard 
him yelling something about a "sunny beach".

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle 
finger stuck up i! n the air. Then I asked my teenage 
grandson in the back seat ! what that meant, he said that it 
was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. 

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the 
window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson 
burst out laughing. Even he was enjoying this religious 
experience! 

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the 
moment that they got out of their cars and started walking 
towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, 
but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I 
waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove 
on through the intersection.

In! oticed I was the only car that got through the 
intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind 
of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had 
shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window 
and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time 
as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist
season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed
on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said,
"You know, it's been over five years since I first came in
here."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied
the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve
one damn table at a time."


A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired
and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading:
"George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye
spare some victuals?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor
condition. "No!" she said rather sternly.

"Could I have a pint of ale?"

"No!" she said again.

"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"

"No!" by this time she was fairly shouting.

The vagabond said, "Might I please...?"

"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.

"D'ye suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?"




» Essential Oils




Today, December 3, in
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at 
 the Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French 
 physicist Georges Claude.
1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 
 years of planning and construction. The bridge suffered 
 partial collapses in 1907 and 1916.
1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time.
1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire" 
 opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater.
1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed 
 by Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart 
 transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky lived 18 days.
1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter. 
 The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from 
 Cape Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972.
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center removed 
 the respirator of Barney Clark. The retired dentist had become 
 the world's first recipient of a  permanent artificial heart 
 only one day before.
1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two 
 White House entrances.
1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed 
 after a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide 
 plant. The plant was operated by an Indian Union Carbide 
 subsidiary.
1992 The UN Security Council unanimously approved a U.S.-led 
 military mission to help starving Somalians.
1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna, 
 Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil.
1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting 
 her public appearances because she was tired of the media's 
 intrusions into her life.
1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a 
 cease-fire in their 18-year war.
1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release 
 hundreds of UN peacekeepers.
1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries signed a 
 treaty prohibiting the use and production of anti-personnel 
 land mines. The United States, China and Russia did not 
 sign the treaty.
1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International 
 Monetary Fund to bailout its economy.
1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the 
 Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the 
 French Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands.
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day 
 meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new 
 round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests 
 by various groups, who didn't really know, what they were 
 protesting against, but they caused $2 Billion in damage.
1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) 
 lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered 
 Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 

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---

What to do about scam spams? 

Monday, December 2, 2013, 09:52 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 2.

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to 
Meth makers, who lead cops to their lab
Details at International Bonehead Awards


The situation in Ukraine is heating up.


Kyiv Post

The US is pretending it's just another Benghazi and is
not helping. 

The issue is that the people want to join the West,
but President Yanukovich has rejected the deal. His official
excuse was worries about Russia not liking that, and the
IMF asking for some guarantees on money. Actually, Russia
is no problem. Chechia and Slovakia switched to the EU 
without a problem. The money guarantees for borrowing are
just normal and were expected. What he did not mention is
that the EU demanded that he release political prisoner
Tymochenko. He is scared of her! 

Yanukovich is currently hiding in Russia, hoping the 
situation will calm down. 

The people are trying to convince the government to impeach 
him and call for elections. 
They have called on the US Government and all NATO governments
to take a stand and oppose any Russian military intervention.

It is already more bloody than the Orange Revolution in 2004.
They are calling the protest the begin of a revolution.




Thank you, Ruby!
Thank you, Norm!



Home4Christmas.com is for sale.
The sale of this domain name 
includes a quarter year hosting, 
and a basic site design. 

You have to gather the pictures 
yourself, though, and put some 
text together. The text can be 
in email or word processor or 
text file, or HTML, if you are 
already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, 
you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just 
make a headstart desgn 
for you, if you want that.


Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















All phone calls are obscene.
--- Karen Elizabeth Gordon

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
--- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

One of the hardest things to teach a child is that the 
truth is more important than the consequences.
--- O.A. Battista


Thanks to Kati for this story:
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married
for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise
would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with
him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day
he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!  Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where
she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the
spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was
sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl
of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the
floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture 
she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in
his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.

He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned
me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God,
some Vaseline, and the toothbrush, I think I got most of them
all back in."



 







Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Douglas Herman, 43, and Paul Dillard, 30, Cocoa Beach, Floriduh

Crooks lead cops to their meth lab

Police stumbled onto a large meth lab at Harbor Isles 
Condominium in Cocoa Beach this morning – Brevard County 
Sheriff’s Agents seized about 5.5 kilos of meth oil that 
could have been further refined into methamphetamine.

It began with a car theft.

A Cocoa Beach woman turned a 2008 Chrysler Sebring over to 
a credit company. Her son, Douglas Herman, took the car back 
from a lot on Barton Boulevard in Rockledge, according to 
Rockledge Police Lt. Donna Seyferth. The credit company 
reported the car stolen.

This morning at about 8 a.m., Cocoa Beach police responded 
to the condominium at the request of Rockledge police in an 
effort to find the stolen car, according to Cocoa Beach 
Police Maj. Jay Harmon. Officers found it in the parking lot 
and approached unit 1126.

Three people saw the police and fled – one was injured after 
jumping from the unit’s second story window. They were all 
arrested.

Police on scene noticed the characteristic aroma of a meth 
operation and called Brevard County Sheriff’s Office for 
assistance, according to Deputy Maria Fernez. Deputies 
responded to the condo, which belongs to Herman’s mother, 
though she hasn’t been there in about a month. A hazmat 
team responded, evacuating the surrounding apartments. 
Inside, they found several jugs of meth oil, totaling 
about 5,500 grams.

“That is quite a bit,” Fernez said. “In fact, 400 grams 
equals a capital felony.”

Harmon identified the three people arrested and their 
charges as:

Douglas Herman, 43, of Merritt Island – trafficking in 
methamphetamine and resisting an officer without violence.

Paul Dillard, 30, of Cape Canaveral – trafficking in 
methamphetamine and resisting an officer without violence.

Malhon Daughtery, 34, of Merritt Island – resisting an 
officer without violence.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Linda
Re: What to do about a spam scam?

Dear Webby
My friend shared your today's message with me.  Delightful.
She also suggested you might be able to answer a question
for me.

This morning I received a spam message from "someone"
purporting to be "An American Soldier" but really it was spam
(i.e. discovered some money in Iraq and needed help, etc.).
It made me angry.  Is there anyone I can send this spam message
to and they can stop it??
Thank you.  
Linda


Dear Linda
That's just a 419 scam, also called "Nigerian scam" or
"Advance Fee scam", and it has been going around since the
first Iraq war. Unless you are willing to travel to Nigeria
and take the law into your own hands, about all you can do
is send it to the US Secret Service.

US Secret Service
Financial Crimes Division
950 H Street N.W.
Suite 5300
Washington, DC 20223
Phone: (202) 406-5850
Fax: (202) 406-5031
419.fcd@usss.treas.gov

The Secret Service is not really doing anything about it, even
though this scam  costs Americans over 100 Million Dollars a
year, but apparently they draw up neat charts showing how
many more people fall for that same old scam each year.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Beverages for the Christmas Cactus
I have a 55+ year old Christmas Cactus that I got after my 
grandmother's death. It didn't do very well and didn't 
grow much and I was about to throw it away; then, I 
remembered seeing my grandmother pour whatever she was 
drinking on the cactus. (Tea, coffee) I started giving 
the cactus a cup of coffee once a week and it has just 
exploded! It blooms twice a year and has grown by 
leaps and bounds. Try coffee!

By Liz from Birmingham, AL
Editor's Note: This works really well but make sure it 
is has no sugar or cream in it.

A cup of water with regular plant food, that you give to
other plantsworks well too over the winter. 
Spring, summer and fall it is best to hang them out into
the wind. They are incredibly strong and like all succulents
love th wind. It helps them to pump nutrients up.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.  

"It ain't my fault," Miss Crabtree.
"You can blame this on my dad.
The reason I'm three hours late?  Dad sleeps nights 
in the raw!"

Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for 
thirty-some-odd years. So she asked little Sammy what he 
meant by that, despite her mounting fears.
Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth,
little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told 
the truth.

"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here 
lowdown coyote. The last few nights he done et six hens and 
killed Ma's best milk goat.
And last night, when Dad heard a noise out in the chicken 
pen, he grabbed his gun and said to Ma, 'That coyote's back 
again, I'm a gonna git him!'"

"'Stay back, he yelled to all us kids, I wouldn't want 
ya hurt!'

He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt!
To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop.
Then he stuck that double barrel through the hatch of the coop.
As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind,
our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and come asneakin' 
up behind Dad.  Then we all looked on plumb helpless as Dad 
was cold-nosed without warnin'."

"Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three 
o'clock this mornin'!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Three nurses arrive at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the
first why he should admit her. She replies that she has been
an emergency room nurse and has saved thousands and
thousands of lives.

"OK", he says, "Come on in!"

The second reports that he has been an ICU nurse and he,
too, has saved thousands and thousands of lives. St. Peter
lets him in, too. St. Peter asks the third nurse the same
question.

She replies that she has been a managed care nurse and
has saved thousands and thousands of dollars for the
insurance company.

St. Peter replies, "OK. Come on in. But you can only stay
three days."


>From Agnes
I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One
night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed
as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me
she had mellowed a lot over the years:

"When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the
ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I
just told him it was coming out of his allowance."




» Harey Critters




Today, December 2, in
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France in the Cathedral 
 of Notre Dame in Paris.
1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing 
 European expansion in the Western Hemisphere.
1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first 
 razor to feature a permanent handle and disposable 
 double-edge razor blades.
1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the 
 eastern front.
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. 
 It was the successor to the Model T.
1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an 
 airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m.
1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demoed
 by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at University of Chicago.
1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy 
 for McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected 
 communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian society.
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally 
 broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that 
 he was going to lead Cuba to communism.
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 
 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most 
 of the passengers were reporters and photographers.
1970 The Environmental Protection Agency began operating
1980 The Central Committee of Poland’s Communist Party 
 announced major Politburo changes to cope with labor unrest.
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent 
 artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. 
 He lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the 
 first of its kind.
1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan.
1989 V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India.
1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free 
 all-German elections since 1932.
1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive 
 earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. Nothing happened.
1991 American hostage Joseph Cicippio was released by his 
 kidnappers. He had been held captive in Lebanon for 
 over five years.
1992 Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor 
 of the Maastricht Treaty on European unity.
1993 Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar was shot to death 
 by security forces in Medellin.
1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission 
 to fix the Hubble Space Telescope.
1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of 
 allegedly fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. Instead 
 a deal was made with GM under which the company would spend 
 more than $51 million on safety and research.
1997 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an 
 independent counsel investigation of telephone fund-raising 
 by President Clinton and Vice President Gore. 
1999 The British government transferred political power over 
 the province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland 
 Executive.
2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The 
 filing came five days after Dynergy walked away from a 
 $8.4 billion buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S.
2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based 
 life form. 

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---

Comcast Connectivity problem 

Sunday, December 1, 2013, 11:52 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 1.


Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to 
Gusano's Pizzeria in Conway, Ark. and a breasstfeeding drunk

Details at International Bonehead Awards


Home4Christmas.com is for sale.
The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year 
hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather
the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together.
The text can be in email or word processor or text file,
or HTML, if you are already familiar with it.

Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and 
expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn 
for you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Holding anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of
throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
--- The Buddha


>From Dianne
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon 
a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. 

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?' 

The boy replied, 'What turkey?' 

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under 
your arm.' 

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey 
done roosted under my arm!' 

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is 
closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do 
to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If 
you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do 
to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?' 

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and 
let him go!'



 

>From Nanarina
OLE'S WISCONSIN FIRE INSURANCE
A man and his wife moved back home to Wisconsin from Arizona .
The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Arizona was 
$2,000.00 a year.

When they arrived in Wisconsin, they went to Sven's Insurance 
agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden 
leg. Sven looked it up on his computer and said to the couple, 
"$39.00."

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here 
in Wisconsin to insure, because it cost him $2,000.00 in 
Arizona.

Sven turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 
"Well, here is it on the screen, direct from Ole's 
Wisconsin Fire Insurance Company; it says: Any wooden 
structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is    $39.00".
I always did find Wisconsin logic far superior to 
most others.




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Gusano's Pizzeria in Conway, Ark. and Tasha Adams.

Woman Fired After Calling Cops 
on Mom Drinking and Breastfeeding

A server at Gusano's Pizzeria in Conway, Ark. says she was 
fired after calling the police on a woman drinking alcohol 
and breastfeeding her child at the same time. She's now 
demanding answers from her former employer.

Jackie Conners said she watched Tasha Adams, 28, consume 
"drink after drink" last Wednesday and finally called the 
police. Conners told KARK 4, "Me being a mom, and just 
seeing something like that and seeing a baby that can't 
speak for itself having a parent do something like that 
is just unacceptable."

Adams was arrested and charged with endangering the welfare 
of a minor and the 7-month-old child was released to family 
members. According to the Daily Mail, Adams believes the 
incident was "blown out of proportion" and wants people 
to know she's "really a normal person."

Several days after the incident, Conners says she was fired 
for "taking the situation into her own hands." However, a 
manager at Gusano's said the call to police was "not the 
reason" she lost her job.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Judy
Re: Comcast connection problem

Hi  Webby    I have problems with my internet service there 
are times when I try to open my Comcast E-Mail with Google 
it will set and spin a blue circle and not open and i get 
this popup message empty response and I will loose my internet 
connection for a  period of time.My Mozzella  and Internet 
Explorer will not open my Comcast e-mails I have contacted 
Comcast ,but they will not listen to my  problem and they 
will not let me talk to a technical person.  to find out what 
empty response is and why I loose my internet connetion. 
Can you help?
Judy

Dear Judy
That is typical for long term contracts with Comcast.
Sometimes you can get better service by writing to the 
newspaper, but usually that is a waste of time, since they
are a huge national ISP. 

You can try calling their billing department and telling 
them that you are cancelling because of lack of acceptable 
service. Sometimes Billing will connect you to actual techs,
but don't count on it.

Check for a local ISP. In almost all instances they provide
better service. They are aware of what is written about
them in the local paper, and they know you can vitit them
and swing a frying pan. The threat of you comming over and
screeching a temper tantrum at them, terrifies them.

Local Ma and Pa ISPs are in almost all instances more 
expensive than the Low-service national ISPS, but sometimes 
you can talk them into matching prices, or get fairly close.
Keep in mind, that personal service DOES cost money, 
and needs to be paid for. It is usually worth it.

Don't try switching to Verizon or Earthlink. Most likely they
just sell the same low-service connection. Get a real local
ISP, and talk to them.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spray Foaming Bleach or CLR for Mold
Grout lines in the bathtub/shower stall are notorious for 
growing mold if not kept in check. I have found that keeping 
a spray bottle of Clorox foaming bleach or a spray bottle 
of CLR (or Lime-Away) in the bath area reduces clean up time. 

Once a week after a shower, simply spritz the cleaning product 
on the grout lines. Finish getting yourself ready, then before 
leaving the bathroom, rinse down the stall with warm water. 
Lime-Away also works wonders on the glass of the shower stall. 
Do this regularly and you will never spend a precious Saturday 
morning scrubbing your bathroom.

By Scout from Tennessee

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

I went to a store to buy some insecticide. "Is this good for   
beetles?" I asked the clerk.   

"No," replied. "It'll kill 'em." 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


The local Pastor was visiting the home of Sister Jones to 
comfort her after the recent loss of her husband. 
"Come in Pastor." Stated Sister Jones. "Have a seat on the sofa." 

Sitting on the sofa, the Pastor eyed a dish of peanuts setting 
on the coffee table. He took a few of the peanuts and began to 
eat them. After ten minutes he noticed that he had eaten nearly 
all the peanuts. "Why Sister Jones," said the Pastor, 
"It appears that I have eaten almost all your peanuts."

"That's okay Pastor." replied Sister Jones. "Now that I have 
lost all my teeth I only get to suck the chocolate off!"


>From Wendy
My mother and I were walking down the street when a man
stopped us.
"I'm taking a survey," he said. "Do you think there is too
much sex  in movies?"

"I'm not sure," replied my mother. "Since Bob, my husband,
stopped coming to the movies, I get too wrapped up in the
film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."




» Salty Stuff




Today, Nov 30, in
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy 
 tales.
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line 
 that ushered in the era of mass production.
1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened, 
 in Pittsburgh, PA.
1919 Lady Astor was sworn in as the first female member 
 of the British Parliament.
1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between World 
 War I protagonists.
1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was 
 assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters.
1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 
 1943 the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction 
 of the Army Air Forces.
1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect.
1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful 
 sex-change operation had been performed.
1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused 
 to give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested 
 marking a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S.
1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty 
 that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which 
 would be free from military activity.
1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began.
1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since 
 World War II.
1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately 
 crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame 
 fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing.
1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an unsuccessful 
 coup against Corazon Aquino's government.
1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's 
 constitutional guarantee of supremacy.
1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving the 
 Persian Gulf crisis.
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel 
 finally met under the English Channel.
1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from 
 the Soviet Union.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment 
 attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress.
1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the 
 124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade.
1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion 
 creating the largest company in the world to date. 

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---

Why not large size thumb drives? 

Saturday, November 30, 2013, 10:47 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, November 30.

Thanks, Dr Bill!

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to a
A bunch of perverts, who got caught trying to mess with
cops posing as under age kids.
Details at International Bonehead Awards

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















"A philanthropist is someone who returns publicly what he stole
privately"
--- George Bernard Shaw


>From Dr Bill
Here's a bit I found crumpled up under my bed;  thought you 
might get a kick from it - maybe I got it from you in the 
first place -

Yes, Dr Bill, I have indeed posted that before, but long 
enough ago, that I can post it again.

1. the Wall Street Journal is read by the people who 
 run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they 
 run the country.
3. The NY Times is read by people who think George Soros 
 bought the right people to run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run 
 the country, but really don't understand the Washington Post;
 they do, however, like their statistics in "Pie charts".
5. The LA Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running 
 the country if they could spare the time, and they didn't
 have to leave LA to do it. And they aren't quite sure 
 whether it is Coke or Weed that is illegal.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used 
 to run the country and did a far superior job, thank you 
 very much!
7. The NY Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure 
 who's running the country, and don't really care as long 
 as they get a seat on the train.
8. The NY Post is read by people who don't care who's running 
 the country as long as they do something really scandalous, 
 preferably while intoxicated and/or it's extramarital.
9. The SF Chronicle is read by peole who aren't sure there 
 is a country...or that anyone is running it; but whoever 
 it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are 
 occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped 
 minority feminest atheist gay dwarves, who also happen to 
 be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy as long as 
 they are Democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who run another 
 country, but need the baseball scores.
11.  The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line 
 at the grocery store.
12. The Huffington Post is read by people, who want to get the
 news that were censored by the US mainstream media.



 

Thanks to Martin for bringing back this classic:
have a Labrador Retriever & I was buying a large bag of
Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?)

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I
was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a
tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd
been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he
roared with laughter staggering to the door and fresh air.




Click on the picture for the large version
Fantasy Tree

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Kristopher Gilbert, Titusville and Lorne Oland of Cocoa, 
both in Floriduh
Jailed for soliciting minors online

A substitute teacher from Titusville is among 28 individuals 
recently arrested by the Osceola County Sheriff's Office on 
various child sex charges.

Kristopher Gilbert of Titusville, a substitute teacher in 
Brevard Public Schools, and Lorne Oland of Cocoa were 
arrested in the undercover sting.

In the five-day operation, a collaboration between the 
sheriff’s office and the Central Florida Internet Crimes 
Against Children Task Force, authorities posed as children 
or as the guardians of children online and on instant 
message programs.

Gilbert was charged with attempted sexual battery, attempted 
lewd and lascivious battery, two counts of traveling to seduce 
a child for sex, two counts of use of a computer to solicit 
child and two counts of use of a computer to solicit a guardian.

Oland was charged with attempted lewd and lascivious battery, 
traveling to seduce a child for sex and use of a computer to 
solicit child.

Earlier this school year, Gilbert substituted at two Titusville 
elementary schools: Imperial Estates on Aug. 15, 16, 19 and 
23, and Coquina on Sept. 5 and 13, according to Brevard 
Public Schools.

Brevard Public Schools Spokeswoman Michelle Irwin said that 
Gilbert started substituting in April 2012. Information 
about schools he substituted at last school year is not 
immediately known.

Gilbert has not substituted since mid-September. He was 

terminated upon his arrest, she said.

“He’s no longer a substitute with us,” Irwin said. “We don’t 
want individuals with those kinds of tendencies in Brevard 
schools.”

There were 26 others caught in the same sting operation,
but I don't have mugshots of those, yet.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Ava
Re: Why not a 128 GB thumb drive?

Dear Webby,
Why are you against larger thumb drives? They are cheaper
than hard drives, and almost as fast.
Ava

Dear Ava
If you misplace an 8 GB thumb drive, it is probably not
such a big problem as when you loose a 128 Gb drive, that
has your entire business and live on it.

Stick with smaller drives until you have a good routine for
handling and storing thumb drives. They are getting smaller
and easier to misplace or loose all the time. 

Unless you are in the habit of misplacing or losing your 
keys, get the type, that go onto your key ring. Another good
alternative is the flexible bracelets, like they wear in banks.
Get into the habit of always hanging them up behind a certain
closet or cabinet door, whenever they are not in use.

Since you can get them in many colors and shapes, dedicate
different colors to different tasks, 
for example red for music, blue for accounting, 
green for movies, etc.

Your accounting will easily fit onto a 1 or 2 GB stick,
but for music and movies you might some day need a 16 GB.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Leftover Thanksgiving Meal Containers
I buy the throw-away aluminum baking pans with lids to send 
leftovers home for my guests. Example: for my three children, 
I buy 2 pans for each family; one for the main meal leftovers 
and one for desserts. This eliminates searching through 
cabinets for margarine tubs, or plastic containers.

These aluminum baking pans can be purchased at the local 
Dollar stores and come in various sizes.

By WandaJo from Collierville, Tennessee

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Thanks to Glenis for this story:
Although he had packed his bag for a business trip the night
before, my husband planned to come home from the office
before leaving. That afternoon he called to say the meeting
had been canceled and on the spur of the moment we decided
to spend a romantic, child-free night in a hotel.

I quickly repacked his suitcase, replacing his belongings
with two wine glasses, candlesticks and candles and some
bubble bath. Then I dashed out to buy a bottle of wine.
When I returned, the bag was gone. A note on the kitchen
table read: "Sorry, hon, the conference is on after all.
I'll call you when I get there."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows
him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them
a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute
little vase on the mantel.

He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in.
He says, "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He turns beat red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..."

She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to
get an ashtray."


The strong young man at the construction site was bragging
that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.
He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. 
 
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said.
"I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow
over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." 
 
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." 
 
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, 
"All right, dumb ass! Get in."




» Sublime Power




Today, Nov 30, in
1016 English King Edmund II died.
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an 
 army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. 
 King Charles XII died on this day.
1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace 
 articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War.
1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France.
1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz 
 Mexico declared war on France.
1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and 
 destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope.
1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine.
1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its 
 first commercial exhibition.
1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. 
 The structure had been constructed for the International 
 Exhibition of 1851.
1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet 
 troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help, and
 kicked the Krauts out once they had chased the Russians back,
 and when it became obvious, that the Allies would win.
1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking.
1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a 
 meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock 
 weighed 8½-pounds.
1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent.
1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President 
 Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security 
 staffer Oliver North as a "national hero."
1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter the 
 United States in order to address the U.N. General Assembly
 in New York City.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. 
 The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun 
 purchases and background checks of prospective buyers.
1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire 
 Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's 
 largest financial institution.

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---

Transferring files without a network 

Friday, November 29, 2013, 08:11 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, November 29.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thaks, Dr Bill!

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to a
Henry Earl for his 1500th jail time.
Details at International Bonehead Awards

Town names:
>From Norm
Climax, Sask.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and
action, where it often substitutes for both.
--- John Andrew Holmes


Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with
customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers
to reboot. One man told me he'd been a long-haul truck driver.

I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about
falling asleep at the wheel."

"Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in
your left hand and hold it out the window."



 

Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a speeder
hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in
his hand.

The speeder looks at the owner sheepishly and says,
"Looks as if I killed your dog."

"Sure does."

"I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that
be enough?"

"Well, I don't know."

"Two hundred dollars. That should do it."

"Sounds good."

The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the
money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry
I spoiled your plans to go hunting."

"I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to
put that that mangy mutt out of his misery."




Click on the picture for the large version
Telemark, Norway

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Henry Earl, Fayette County Jail, Kentucky

Thanksgiving In Jail For 
World's Most Busted Man

Kentuckian has been arrested 
more than 1500 times since '70

NOVEMBER 27--The World’s Most Arrested Man, a Kentuckian who 
has been busted more than 1500 times over the past four decades, 
will spend another Thanksgiving in jail, records show.

Henry Earl, 64, is locked up in the Fayette County Detention 
Center--which one day should bear his name--following his 
arrest last month for public intoxication. Earl was collared 
outside a fast food joint by Lexington cops, according to 
jail records.

Seen above in his most recent mug shot, Earl is due in court 
for a December 5 pretrial conference and a probation 
revocation hearing.

Earl, whose arrests almost uniformly have involved alcohol, 
was first nabbed in Fayette County in July 1970, when he was 
20, for carrying a concealed weapon. He would rack up 33 more 
arrests that decade, while adding 230 collars during the 
1980s (most of which involved public drunkenness and/or 
disorderly conduct).

Remarkably, Earl’s arrest rate increased in the following 
decades, in part because he rarely spent more than a couple 
of days in custody before being released (to offend again). 
Over the past year, however, Kentucky judges have been less 
lenient on Earl, who has begun spending two to three month 
stretches in custody per conviction.

For the third time in the past five years, Earl will spend 
Thanksgiving behind bars (where he celebrated his 64th 
birthday on October 24). Earl, who has used the alias 
“James Brown,” has spent a total of nearly 6000 days in 
custody.
----------
Somebody should tell him that they now have showers outside 
of jail too, even in Kentucky.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Belinda
Re: Transferring files

Dear Webby,
There IS a bimbo proof alternative that you did not mention:
Thumbdrives! They work even for blondes like me!

They are like a USB drive without a cable, and plug directly
into any USB port. Just plug it in, and the computer sees a
new drive. Drag stuff onto it, unpug it, walk it over to the
other computer, plug it in, and drag stuff off it.
Sneaker-Net works!
Belinda

Dear Belinda
You are absolutely right, and today's thumbdrives are 
unbelievably cheap. Some computer stores even give them 
away for free on special sale days. However, even if you
have to pay for one, they are cheap. Don't go for a 64GB
thumb drive. Just to haul files over to another computer
an 8 GB drive will usually be more than enough.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Free "Kettlebell" for Exercise  
Instead of purchasing a kettlebell, use a large empty plastic 
laundry bottle filled with water. Tighten the cap before each 
use to be sure it is on tight.

By Denise G. 

In case you wonder what a "kettlebell" is, it is a currently
fashionable substitute for hand held dumbbells. Kettlebells
are just dumbbells in the shape of old-fashioned tea kettles.
The major difference is that unlike dumbbells, they are not 
yet available, unused, at garage sales, but have to be 
purchased at premium prices at fitness paraphenalia stores.
THAT makes them fashionable.

You can get exactly the same exercise from an ordinary 
closthes iron. They usually cost a dollar at garage sales,
and are usually unused wedding gifts. They even have a
handy cord attached, that you can attach to a light fixture
or rafter in your exercise room, so that it won't fall on
your freshly painted toe nails, when you drop it the moment
your cell phone rings.

You can of course use the same trick with Denise's laundry 
bottle. The claimed difference with kettlebells over 
dumbbells is that they are as unbalanced as a clothes iron 
or laundry bottle and use some muscles, that a dumbbell 
does not use.

I am going to dig out my iron. I might even try to iron a
shirt or two. At the speed of my luck, I will probably get
the hang of that faster than finding a lady, who knows how
to iron a shirt. I think those are about as extinct as 
unicorns.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Father teaching his daughter to drive:
"Stop on red,
go on green,
and take it easy when I turn purple."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Thanks to Ann for this story:
An observant woman died one day, and found herself waiting 
in the long line for judgment.  As she stood there, she 
noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through 
the pearly gates into heaven. Others, though, were led over 
to Satan, who threw them into the burning pit.  But every 
so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, 
Satan would toss a soul into a small pile off to one side.

After watching Satan do this several times, the woman's 
curiosity got the best of her. So she strolled over to find 
out what the devil he was doing.

"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," she said. "I'm waiting 
my turn for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why 
are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them 
into the fires of hell with the others?"

Ah, those..." Satan said with a groan.
"They're all from Seattle and from Vancouver, they're too 
wet to burn! I'll have to  wring them out first."




» Canine HiJinks:




Today, Nov 29, in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a 
 militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 
 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had 
 surrendered and had been given permission to camp.
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made 
 by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd.
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland 
s prior to a Soviet attack.
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic 
 proclaimed.
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called 
 for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews.
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. 
 with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice 
 before landing off Puerto Rico.
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 
 7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes 
 after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. 
 The crash was the worst in Canada's history.
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican 
 Army became effective.
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company 
 he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer 
 language for the Altair.
1981 Actress Natalie Wood drowned in a boating accident off 
 Santa Catalina Island, CA, at the age 43.
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union 
 should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan.
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 
 people aboard.
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding 
 for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal 
 defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to 
 preserve potentially vital evidence.
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the 
 party's 40-year monopoly on power.
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action 
 if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all 
 foreign hostages by January 15, 1991.
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust 
 storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5.
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its 
 airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin 
 demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war.
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen 
 Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre 
 of 1,200 Muslims. 
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin 
 and other narcotics.

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---

Where is that picture from? 

Thursday, November 28, 2013, 12:15 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, November 28.
If you are in the US, 
Happy Thanksgiving Day!
Thank you for being you!

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to a
drunk "mother" trowing Infant Daughter at cop
and resisting arrest after drunk car accident. 
Details at International Bonehead Awards

>From James
Subject: Town names. 
Dear Webby
 Here are a few more names to add 
Gobbler,AR
Monkey's Eyebrow,AZ
Conception,MO
Oatmeal,TX
Hot Coffee,MS
  I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving!
James.

Thanks, James!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to 
anything.
--- Frank Dane

Most of the change we think we see in life is due to 
truths being in and out of favor.
--- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new.
--- Henry David Thoreau


Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone 
problem. But unlike most people she did something about it.

The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby 
and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.

From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by 
calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for 
years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel 
management to change its number. Naturally, the management 
refused claiming that it could not change its stationery. 
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a 
number, and just because a customer was getting someone 
else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make it responsible. 
After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take 
matters into her own hands.

At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling 
the motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leola 
said, "No problem. How many nights?"

A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite 
with two bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the 
Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a 
night. The secretary said that she would take it and asked if 
the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be necessary," 
Leola said. "We trust you."

The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked 
an electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day 
weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans 
from World War II.

She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she 
could watch a famous trial, but her biggest challenge came in the 
afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her 
daughter's wedding in June.

Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked 
if she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel 
to take care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the 
hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of 
valet parking came up.

Once again Leola was helpful. "There's no charge for valet 
parking, but we always recommend that the client tips the 
drivers."

Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a 
disaster area.

People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet 
Sixteen parties and were all told there were no such events.

Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper 
that the motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an 
executive from Marriott said, "We're prepared to offer you 
$2 Million for the motel."

Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the 
telephone number."



 

During an annual psychiatrists convention, three psychiatrists 
take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt 
and fears," Kathryn says, "but we have no one to go to with 
our problems. Since we're all professionals, why don't we 
hear each other out right now?"

They agree that this is a good idea. Robert, the first 
psychiartrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply 
in debt, so I overbill patients as often as I can."

The second, Kane, admits, "I have a drug problem that's out 
of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying 
illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist, Kathryn says, "I know it's wrong, 
but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."




Click on the picture for the large version
Telemark, Norway

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Tamika Williams, 28, Orlando, Floriduh

Crashed Car, Threw Baby, Punched Officer

A Florida woman involved in a car crash last week is accused 
of throwing her 2-year-old daughter at a cop and punching a 
different cop in the head.

Tamika Williams, 28, hit a tree, rolled over and crashed 
into a fence in her SUV at around 11:55 p.m. Friday, according 
to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel. The 
Orlando woman allegedly tried to flee the scene with her 
toddler in tow. When police tried to stop her, she threw 
the girl at an officer, "forcing me to catch the baby," 
he wrote in a report.

He didn't fumble the pass.

Next, she allegedly punched another officer in the head, 
then kept hitting her until the other officer used a stun 
gun on her.

Williams is charged with child neglect, battery on a law 
enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence, 
and leaving the scene of an accident.

She's not the first mom to be accused of throwing a baby. 
In April, a Connecticut bus passenger was allegedly caught 
on camera tossing her child to the side before attacking 
a fellow passenger she claimed "disrespected her in front 
of her baby."

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Patricia
Re: Where is that picture from?

Dear webby,

I am so glad that you got home safely from your appointment 
with eye doctor.  Also happy that others contributed to 
your letter and kept it going.

Can you tell me where the gorgeous picture in Today's 
Newsletter is?  We are having cold rain here in Alabama.  
Snow usually stays North of here.

Keep well and have nice Holidays.

Patricia

Dear KayDear Patricia
When you click on the picture, then you get the big version:
 http://webby.com/humor/i/Tallulah-Gorge ... 

The name of the picture, if you save it to your computer, is
Tallulah-Gorge-Georgia-L.jpg

The name tells you that it is the Tallulah Gorge in Georgia
and that it is the Large version. By going after the same 
name, but without the L, you get the small version, that is 
more convenient to put into your own emails:
 http://webby.com/humor/i/Tallulah-Gorge ... 

Sometimes I don't know the name of the location, 
but when I do, I put it into the file name.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Homemade Hand Soap
In the days of counting pennies, this will help if you buy 
the hand soap pumps like I do. Once that pump is empty, 
I make my own for pennies using 1 Tbsp. dish soap (any kind 
will do), and 1 tsp. of bleach. Fill slowly with water and 
shake gently. You have a great hand soap that kills germs 
for pennies, compared to buying new pumps or the refills 
for them.

By leigh harvey

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200
to get his car fixed and road-worthy again, but had run out
of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the
operator, and reverses the charge and says to his dad,
"I need to borrow two hundred dollars."

At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you,
son, I think there may be a bad line."

The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!"

"Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.

The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him
perfectly."

The father says, "Oh, good. Then YOU can send him some
money!"
Click




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


You Know You're a Redneck When
 1.---The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than
 your spouse.

 2.---You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
 table in front of her kids.

 3.---You're been married three times and still have the same
 in-laws.

 4.---You think a woman who is "out-of-your-league" bowls on a
 different night.

 5.---Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."

 6.---You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
 clean.

 7.---Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey,
 Yall watch this."

 8.---You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

 9.---Your junior prom had a daycare.

 10.---Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

 11.---You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are:
 "Gentlemen, start your engines."

 12.---You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
 right off its wheels.

 13.---The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down,
depending  on how much gas is in it.

 14.---You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

 15.---One of your kids was born on a pool table.

 16.---You need one more hole punched in your cards to get
 a freebie  at the House of Tattoos.

 17.---You can't get married to your sweetheart because
 there's a  law against it.

 18.---You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is
drunk.

 19.---Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

 20.---Your front porch collapses and kills more than one dog.




» Americal Fall Foliage




Today, Nov 28, in
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the 
 Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American 
 strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first 
 European to sail the Pacific from the east.
1582 - William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married.
1919 - American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female 
 member of the British Parliament.
1922 - Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the 
 first public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, 
 "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times 
 Square.
1934 - The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was 
 killed by FBI agents near Barrington, IL.
1942 - 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut 
 Grove in Boston.
1943 - U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime 
 Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin 
 met in Tehran to map out strategy concerning World War II.
1963 - U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral 
 would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated 
 predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 
 1973 by a vote of residents.
1964 - The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from 
 Cape Kennedy on a course set for Mars.
1978 - The Iranian government banned religious marches.
1979 - An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole 
 crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard.
1983 - The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 
 Spacelab in its cargo bay.
1990 - Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain.
1992 - In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant 
 gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and 
 injuring 20.
1994 - Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed 
 to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate.
1994 - Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership.
1995 - U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill 
 that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit.
2010 - WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. 
 diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or 
 "confidential." 

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---

How to export Favorites 

Wednesday, November 27, 2013, 12:07 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, November 27.

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to a
drunk "mother" for Delivering Deadly Drunken 
Breastfeed To Infant Daughter. 
Details at International Bonehead Awards

Towns added:
>From Bill and Flo
Dildo, Newfoundland

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads 
Marx and Lenin. 
And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who 
understands Marx and Lenin.
--- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)


A little boy came home from Sunday School with a
big candy bar. His mother asked him where he got it.
"I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me,"
he said.

"That dollar was for Sunday School," she scolded him.
"I know, Mom, he replied, "but the Pastor met me at the 
door and got me in for free!"



 

Thanks to Lisa for this story:

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where
my husband was stationed in the military.

As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me
some standard security questions.

"Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack
yourself?" he asked.

I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take
to her son.

He looked at me very carefully and asked: "Does she like
you?"




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Yadina Morales, 22, Hagerstown, MD

Jailed for Delivering Deadly Drunken 
Breastfeed To Infant Daughter 

Reported by the Weekly Vice
Yadina Morales, a 22-year-old Maryland woman, was jailed 
Saturday after she allegedly smothered her baby daughter 
to death while attempting to breast feed the child while 
heavily intoxicated.

According to the Washington County Sheriff's Office, 
deputies were dispatched to a Hagerstown residence at around 
7 a.m. when Morales woke up to find her 2-month-old baby 
unresponsive.

Investigators say Morales was "highly intoxicated" when she 
fell asleep while breast feeding her baby. She woke up a 
few hours later to find the child underneath her and 
unresponsive.

First responders rushed the little girl to Meritus Medical 
Center where she was pronounced dead. Morales was also taken 
to MMC where she was evaluated before her arrest.

Morales was booked into jail and charged with manslaughter, 
second-degree child abuse and reckless endangerment.

Last year, a man that Morales identified as her boyfriend, 
was charged with child abuse after Morales' 2-year-old 
daughter arrived at the emergency room with fractured ribs 
and other injuries. The suspect ultimately pleaded guilty 
to a lesser charge.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Kay
Re: How do I export favorites

Dear Webby
I have done this before, but I have forgotten the steps. 
I just want to save my favorites, so they won't be lost 
in case of a computer crash.
Thank you so much for all of your help.
Kay

Dear Kay
That used to be ALT FINE, but in their hysterical efforts
to make things less user friendly, Microsoft blocked that 
method.
I have not used IE for many years and had to do a bunch of 
experimenting.
The Information at microsoft is not up to date yet, and 
does not help with the current IE. Well, they can look 
it up here. 

Near the right top you see a little house, a star and a 
gear. Hit the star.
A button appears with "Add to Favorites" and a little 
pull-down arrow.
Ignore the button and pull down the arrow.
In the pull-down you see "Import and Export"
Go into Export and select your choices.

That is it with the current IE.
Older versions are different and the December version 
will probably be different again.

With FireFox it is still the same:
CTRL SHIFT B to open the Bookmarks files
ALT i to open the Import - Export
E to export

As long as you remember CTRL SHIFT B for Bookmarks,
the rest are obvious and easy choices.

Then you can save them as an HTML file that you can 
import again, or even  upload for others to use.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Your Shower Curtain Clear!
I found that if I spray the plastic shower curtain liner 
about once a week with a tub and tile foam cleaner, it will 
look almost new. I use the Dow Scrubbing Bubbles - just 
spray on the inside of the shower liner, wait a couple of 
minutes and wipe off with a sponge or spray with the shower 
head. Works great!

By Melna

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Q.  What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst
men?

A.  Wife saying they need to talk.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


I read a story about private pilots getting busted by the FAA
and Secret Service in 2001 for straying into restricted air 
space -- mostly around President Bush's ranch in Texas.  
The trouble was, aviation charts aren't updated to include 
the restricted area and the Secret Service keeps changing 
the rules.  One week it's a 30 mile circle, the next is a 
20 mile radius.

Right after September 11 a pilot in his 70s who lives near 
the President's place in Crawford thought it was ok to start
flying again.  He hopped in his plane and took off.  That
promptly set off alarms at the nearby Waco control tower,
who dispatched F-16s to bring the man down.  He was then
escorted to Waco for questioning.

After questioning the man and determining he was not a
threat to the President, the Secret Service gave him a ride
home.  When they pulled up into the yard, the man's wife
came charging out of the house, wiping her hands on her
apron and screaming at the man.  "You DUMBASS!  I TOLD
YOU NOT TO GO FLYING!"

The man turned to the agents and said, "Can I go back to
Waco with y'all?"




» Wild Creatures




Today, Nov 27, in
1684 Japan's shogun Yoshimune Tokugawa was born.
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor 
of the Celsius thermometer.
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive 
 an automobile through Central Park in New York City.
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked 
 at the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as 
 a priest.
1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as 
 vice president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew.
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor 
 Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death 
 inside City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor.
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish 
 accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing 
 of British-ruled Northern Ireland.
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a 
 Colombian jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off 
 from Bogota's international airport. Police blamed the 
 incident on drug traffickers.
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow 
 President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in 
 ten months. 

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---

Windows 7 fails to install updates 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013, 01:24 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, November 25.

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to three 
Sasquatch Hunters. 
Details at International Bonehead Awards

Towns added:
>From Alison
Here is an odd town name for you.  
84, Pennsylvania.
by the way I live in 
Zelienople, Pa.  
Not that interesting, perhaps, but its a lot of fun when 
telemarketers try to pronounce it.
Thanks for taking some of the pain out of getting up in 
the morning.
Carry on!
Alison

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction 
being written today.
--- Herman Wouk (1915 - ) 


Real notes to the Milkman
These notes left for milkmen came from England, where milk
apparently is still being delivered.

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."

"Cancel one pint after the day after today."

"Please don't leave any more milk.  All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds
keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Milkman.  please could I have a loaf but not bred today."

"Please cancel milk.  I have nothing coming into the house
but two sons on the dole."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a
baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterdays note.  I didn't mean one egg and a
dozen pints, but the other way round."

"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window
and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to
turn the mattress.

"Please knock.  My TV's broken down and I missed last
nights Coronation Street.  If you saw it, will you tell me what
happened over a cup of tea."

"My daughter says she wants a milkshake.  Do you do it
before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby
two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour
told me."

"Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant."

"Milk is needed for the baby.  Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and
one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and
Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

"My back door is open.  Please put milk in 'fridge, get money
out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence,
because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today.  When I say today, I mean
tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."

"When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler,
let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
PS.  Don't leave any milk.

"No milk.  Please do not leave milk at No.14 either as he
is dead until further notice."



 

Dear Diary:
Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's
fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said,
"Beat 12 eggs separately" The neighbors were nice enough to loan me
some extra bowls.

Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve
without dressing." So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob
brought a friend home for supper.

Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said, "Wash thoroughly before
steaming the rice." It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I
can't say it improved the rice any.

Thursday: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It
said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour
before serving." Which is what led up to Bob asking me why there was
lettuce in our bed that night.

Friday: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put a! ll
ingredients in bowl and beat it." There must have been something
wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as
when I left.

Saturday: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He
asked me to dress it for Sunday. ( oh boy) For some reason Bob keeps
counting to ten.

Sunday: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I
could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put
the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still
came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

Good night, Dear Diary. This has been a very exciting week. I am
eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If
we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with
"Chocolate Moose."




Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Omar Pineda, 21, Perry James, 53, and  Lacey Pineda, 22 
in Rogers County, Oklahoma

Man shoots friend while hunting for Bigfoot

Reported by the Daily News
Omar Pineda, 21, heard what he thought was 'barking' when 
he turned and shot his unidentified Sasquatch-hunting partner 
in some woods north of Tulsa, Okla., Saturday, police said. 
The victim was shot in the back and expected to survive.

 Two men were hunting for Bigfoot in rural Oklahoma when one 
of them accidentally shot the other, police said.

Omar Pineda, 21, was spooked by what he thought was "barking" 
when he jerked around and shot his pal in a wooded area north 
of Tulsa on Saturday, Tulsa's News 6 reported.

 The friend, who wasn't identified, was shot in the back and 
expected to survive. EMTs met the pair at a QuikTrip 
convenience store after the shooting.

Pineda was arrested for reckless conduct with a firearm and 
obstruction.

His father-in-law, Perry James, and his wife, Lacey Pineda, 
were also arrested for helping the Sasquatch hunters evade 
investigation.

Cops said James, 53, tossed Pineda's gun into a pond on his 
property, while the 22-year-old Lacey told cops someone else 
fired at the pair, News 6 reported.

"If (they) had just been factual, upfront and truthful with 
us and explained that this was truly an accident, as strange 
as it might sound, we would have went ahead and investigated 
and probably nobody would have (gone) to jail," Rogers County 
Sheriff Scott Walton told the station.

No Sasquatch was hurt in this incident.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Russel
Re: Windows7 fails to install updates

Dear Webby:
One of my W7 laptops running Professional had a similar 
problem. It kept telling me it was updating prior to 
shutting down but continued to go through the same process 
every power down sequence.

I believe this is the link I used to solve the problem. 
See ‘Best Solution’.
Windows Update Fails.

Hard to be productiive when crap happens.
- Russ

Dear Rus
Thank you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Permanent Marker
As a teacher, once when I was preparing for a class, I used 
a permanent marker on the new dry eraser board. I read the 
marker and found EXPO's 1-800 number and called it for help. 
You can erase permanent marker by writing over it with 
another marker and wiping it off with a tissue.

The second method for removing it is EXPO Erase spray. I 
have removed many a nasty note (middle schoolers) from 
desks, chairs, and mirrors in the bathroom. It should 
be named Miracle Spray.

By SandyE from Battle Creek, MI

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed 
a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door.

Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor
besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed
to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't
look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post
that sign?"

"Because"; the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people
kept tripping over him nd bshing their teeth out on the counter."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Morris, a professional photographer was invited to dinner
at the Goldblums. He took along a few pictures to show the
hostess.

Millie Goldblum looked at his photos and commented,
"These are very good!
You must have a very good camera."

He didn't make any comment, however, as he was leaving
to go home he said,
"That was a really delicious meal, Millie!"
"Thank you!" she replied enthusiastically.
Then Morris added, "You must have a very good stove!"




» Pencil Portraits




Today, Nov 26, in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on 
 display in Boston, MA.
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to 
 observe the adoption of the Constitution of the US.
1825 The first college social fraternity, Kappa Alpha, 
 was formed at Union College in Schenectady, NY.
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City.
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car.
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially 
 formed in Montreal, Canada.
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of 
 King Tutankhamen.
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland 
 to live within a walled ghetto.
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill 
 establishing the fourth Thursday in November as 
 Thanksgiving Day. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered 
 nationwide gasoline rationing to begin December 1.
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world 
 premiere at the Hollywood Theater in New York City.
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk 
 by a guided missile, causing the death of 1,015 U.S. 
 troops.
1949 India's Constituent Assembly adopted the country's 
 constitution The country became republic within the 
 British Commonwealth two months later.
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN 
 forces to retreat.
1965 France became the third country to enter space when 
 it launched its first satellite the Diamant-A.
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to 
 re-admit China after a 21-year absence.
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport 
 was robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold 
 bars worth nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the 
 gold has ever been recovered and only two men were 
 convicted in the heist.
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were 
 acquired by Random House for $3,000,000.
1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed 
 by former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National 
 Security Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair.
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser 
 Arafat, who was seeking permission to travel to New York 
 to address the U.N. General Assembly.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi 
 Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that 
 Iraq withdraw from Kuwait.
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire 
 MCA Inc. for $6.6 billion.
1992 The British government announced that 
 Queen Elizabeth II had volunteered to start paying taxes 
 on her personal income. She also took her children off 
 the public payroll.
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the 
 Brooklyn borough of New York City. The clerk inside was 
 fatally burned.
1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions 
 at the State Department for the first time.
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro 
 wrestling and would run for president in 2000.
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that 
 censured Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning 
 that it would be policed to put to rest suspicions 
 that the country had a weapons agenda. 

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---

Windows updating not completing 

Monday, November 25, 2013, 01:07 PM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, November 25.

Towns added:
>From Dr Bill
Gold Pants, Calif.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.
--- Jim Morrison (1943 - 1971)

We know what happens to people who stay in the 
middle of the road. They get run over.
--- Aneurin Bevan (1897 - 1960)

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening 
to Somebody Else."
--- Will Rogers


>From Dianne
On Black Friday, a couple went Christmas shopping. The 
shopping center was packed. As the wife walked through the 
mall, she looked around to find her husband, who was nowhere 
to be seen. She became quite upset, because they had a lot 
of shopping to do. When not being able to find him, she 
became worried. So, she called him on her cell phone and asked
him where he was.

In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewelers we 
went to about five years ago, where you fell in love with 
that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford and I told 
you that I would get it for you one day?" 
 
The wife became choked up and started to cry, then said, 
"Oh, honey! Yes, I do remember that shop." 
 
He replied, "Well, I'm in the pub, next door to it." 



 

>From Lillemor
Wife texts husband on cold winter morning: 
Windows frozen, won't open. 

Husband texts back: Gently pour some lukewarm water 
in small spray bottle and spray water on windows.

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: 
Computer really screwed up now.




Click on the picture for the large version
Airy, but maybe not hurricane proof.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Karie Lindgren, 36, Tarpon Springs, Floriduh

Jailed For Running Over Duck 
Who Rejected Her Advances

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Karie Lindgren, a 36-year-old Florida woman, was jailed 
Saturday after she allegedly killed a duck after the animal 
rejected her advances.

According to police, Lindgren became angry when she tried 
to lure a duck towards her with a piece of candy, but the 
duck refused to come to her.

Witnesses say Lindgren "stalked the duck" in an attempt 
to win the animal's favor, but the duck would have no 
part of her.

That's when she allegedly got into a car, drove across a 
lawn at a high rate of speed, and struck the animal with 
her vehicle.

Officers who arrived on the scene found the dead duck 
laying in a driveway.

Lindgren was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and 
charged with animal cruelty. She was released after 
posting $5,000 bail.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Rose
Re: Windows7 keeps updating

Dear Webby:
My Windows 7 has learned a new trick.
When I shut it off, the screen informs me that it's 
installing one update.  This happens
every time I close down the computer.
 
I've changed the Settings to "Inform Me Before Installing"  
but it ignores that.
 
Help?
 
Love, Rose

Dear Rose
Your settings will apply to future updates.
It is still trying to finish one from before.
Just let it finish, unless it is this Tuesday's.

Some updates seem to take forever to finish, 
and are also very time consuming on the next start-up.
That is normal for Windows 7 now.

If you want fast and unobtrusive updates, then you will
have to go to Linux. I can do updates and installs on a 
Linux server while a few throusand people are browsing 
sites on it, and none of them will notice it.

If I have to reboot, it will appear to the visitors as if
their connection had a momentary hick-up.

Windows has an awfully long way to go to catch up to Linux!
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Newspaper For Shipping
Use newspaper to wrap gifts! It's especially nice when you 
ship to another state and you can read what's going on in 
that area. It saves money on the fancy wrappings.

By Debbie 

Once upon a time, long, long ago, in the days when I still
read newspapers, I used to save the Weekend Funnies for just
that purpose. Funnies are never "Old News". People loved
them!
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While 
suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly 
smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian cookies.

With all his remaining strength, he lifted himself from 
the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way 
out of the bedroom and with even greater effort, gripping 
the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. 

With labored breath, he leaned against the doorframe, 
gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, 
he would have thought himself already in heaven. 
There, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table, 
were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette cookies. 
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love 
from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing 
to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards 
the table, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in 
his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged 
and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the 
edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked hard with 
a wooden spoon by his wife.
"GET OUT A HERE!" she shouted, "THEY'RE FORA DA FUNERAL!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A second grader arrived home after school and shocked his
mother by announcing, "Today we learned how to make babies."

Risking further embarrassment, the mother ask for details
on how to make babies."

"It's simple, the boy replied, "Just drop the'y' and add 'ies."




» Mt Etna being an Ash Hole and belching more Ash and
gases




Today, Nov 25, in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to 
 be granted an English patent for cleaning and curing 
 Indian corn.
1758 During the French and Indian War, the British 
 captured Fort Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh.
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated 
 New York. New York was their last military position in 
 the U.S.
1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom.
1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in 
 exchange for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public 
 debts and settle border disputes.
1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite.
1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk.
1920 The first play-by-play broadcast of a football game 
 was aired in College Station, TX. The game was between 
 the University of Texas and Texas A&M.
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan 
 and Germany, was signed.
1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned 
 racial segregation on interstate trains and buses.
1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower suffered a stroke.
1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide 
 after giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war constitution.
1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in 
 military coup.
1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards 
 against the Detroit Lions.
1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced 
 a cease-fire in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon.
1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese 
 revealed that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had 
 been diverted to rebels in Nicaragua. National Security 
 Advisor John Poindexter resigned and Oliver North was fired.
1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into 
 separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning 1993.
1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean 
 dictator Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being 
 sought by Spain, could not claim immunity from prosecution 
 for the crimes he was accused of having committed during 
 his rule.
1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a 
 $5.5 billion bailout for Pakistan. 

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---

Windows 7 Gadgets are killed by update 

Sunday, November 24, 2013, 09:43 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, November 24.
If you use "gadgets" like the clock or the CPU meter,
hold off with the current Windows update, and read today's
Tech Support Pits.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



















Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.
--- Nick Diamos

Sounds like parliament


>From Cookie
Town Names of the South
Toad Suck, Arkansas
Grosse Tete, Louisiana
Horneytown, North Carolina
Twin Knobs, Kentucky
Three Way, Tennessee
Flea Hop, Alabama
Beaver Lick, Kentucky
Big Bone Lick state park, Kentucky
Knob Lick, Kentucky
Paint Lick, Kentucky
Bald Knob, Arkansas
Climax. Georgia
Sugar Teat, South Carolina
Wiener, Arkansas
Tight squeeze, Virginia
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Big Beaver, Michigan
Possum Grape, Arkansas

If you got more, send them to me!

The North has
SNAFU (S.N.A.F.U. = Situation Normal, All Fu..ed Up)
TARFU (T.A.R.F.U. = Things Are Really Fu..ed Up
in the Yukon. They started out as military and construction
camps in 1941 during construction of the Alaska Highway,
when somebody's compass malfunctioned and the road took off
at a right angle going southward, towards the Atlin, BC
hotsprings.
When they got TARFU established, they realized the errors 
of their way, and went back to what became Jake's Corner,
and headed northwest towards Whitehorse and Anchorage again.

SNAFU and TARFU became common Army terms.

The road was extended past TARFU towards Atlin in the 70's.
The Yukon has lakes all over the place, and of course, those
two army camps were built by nice fishing lakes, probably 
because it was easy to establish camps on the lake ice,
and to supplement the food with fish.

I have fished in both of those lakes a few times.



 

My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple
of weeks ago.  Somehow they got lost.  (Uncle Joe swears it had
nothing to do with the large quantities of alcohol consumed...)
Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though.  "Don't worry.  All we have
to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and
someone will find us."

They shot in the air three times, but no one came.  After a while,
they tried it again.  Still no response.  When they decided to try
once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time.  We're down to
our last three arrows."




Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Brian Hounslow, 37, Tulsa, Oklahoma

Jailed For Naked Masturbation 
Inside Walmart Women’s Bathroom

Reported by The Smoking Gun
An Oklahoma man was arrested yesterday for allegedly 
masturbating in the women’s bathroom at a Tulsa Walmart, 
a solo act that was interrupted by a female shopper who 
discovered the naked suspect around 8:30 AM, police report.

Customer Beth Davis told police that she entered the restroom 
yesterday morning and found a nude man pleasuring himself 
in front of the mirror. Davis, who fled the bathroom in 
search of help, said that she later saw the suspect,
now dressed, depart the bathroom and head for the Walmart’s 
exit.

So the 61-year-old Davis, who told TSG she was “in panic mode”,
began filming him with her cell phone, while providing 
accompanying narration: “My name is Beth Davis and I witnessed 
it. You were naked and had your pants down around your ankles. 
Someone stop him. Do not let him go out that door.”

While the man ran from the store, a second shopper 
photographed his vehicle and its license plate. Within 
two hours, Tulsa cops arrested Brian Hounslow, 37, for 
felony indecent exposure. Hounslow, seen in the above mug 
shot, was booked into the county jail, where he is being 
held in lieu of $5000 bond.

According to a booking report, Hounslow confessed to sex 
crime detectives that he had been masturbating in the 
Walmart bathroom. The document also notes that Davis 
saw Hounslow’s “fully exposed turgid penis.”

Davis, a grandmother of eight, said that Hounslow offered 
an apology, of sorts, when she confronted him after he 
left the restroom. Hounslow, she recalled, said, “I didn’t 
know it was the women’s bathroom.”

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Edith
Re: Windows7 "Gadgets" disappeared

Dear Webby,
My Windows Gadgets disappeared, and I can't get them 
going again. I need my round clock! What's the story?
Edith

Dear Edith
Forget the round clock.
Microsoft has killed most gadgets, and has disabled the
connections needed by third party gadgets. Apparently
the sidebar connections were not authorized by the emperor,
so they have been axed. Some Microsoft pages still tell you
all about gadgets, but one of them says that the gadgets 
have been axed for security reasons.

The official response is "Buy a new computer with W8, 
it has authorized apps for clocks."

I agree that the task bar clock is too small.
You can hit it, though, and see a round clock.

Don't try to get third party clocks right now.
They may look cute, but they don't work, many of 
them are unstable or not recommended for various reasons,
and most of them come with ad ware and hard to get rid 
of slave ware like "intext.nav-links". So DON'T !!!
Otherwise you might wind up with a new computer and 
W8 cussware sooner than planned.

Just go to the Dollar Store and buy a goofy plastic watch
and hang or glue it beside the monitor. Maybe by the time
the watch battery runs out, we will have safe gadgets again.

W8.1 is still Cuss-Ware, causing bad tempers and foul
language. W8.3 is promised to be less of a user-hostile
dud. Most likely your watch battery will last that long.

The Microsoft CPU / Memory Meter gadget has been axed too.
W7 apparently was not authorized to have that gadget.
"Buy a new computer with W8, it has..." 
No thanks, I got work to do.

Some of you probably have not installed Tuesday's Update 
yet. That update will murder your gadgets, when you 
activate it. You might want to procrastinate a bit with 
that,

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Combs
I use old toothbrushes for cleaning combs. Swish around 
shampoo in a sinkful of hot water, soak the combs for a 
few minutes and brush.

By Michele 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog

Mac died at the controls of his plane and went to pilots' 
hell, where he found a hideous devil and three doors.

The devil was busy escorting other pilots to various "hell
rooms."

"I'll be right back--don't go away," said the devil, 
and he vanished.

Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in and saw a 
cockpit, where the pilot was condemned to forever run 
through pre-flight checks.

He slammed that door and peeked into the second. There, 
alarms rang and red lights flashed while a pilot had to 
avoid one emergency after another. Unable to imagine a 
worse fate, Mac cautiously opened the third door.

He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily clad flight
attendants answering to a captain's every whim.  He quickly
returned to his place seconds before the devil reappeared.

"Okay, Mac," said the devil, "Which door will it be, number
1 or number 2?"

"Um, I want door number 3," answered Mac.

"Nope," said the devil.  "You can't have door number 3.
That's flight attendants' hell."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they
wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding.
They were discussing the details with their friends.  Nancy
wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she
started describing the dress she was planning to wear.
One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go
with the dress.  Nancy replied, "Silver."

At that point, John chimed in, "Yep silver - - 
to match her hair."

Shooting a glaring look at John's bald spot, 
Nancy's friend said, "So John, I guess you are going 
barefoot."



http://www.ctvnews.ca/world/italy-s-mou ... gt; src="http://webby.com/humor/Diannes.jpg" align=left>
» Mt Etna being an Ash Hole and belching more Ash and
gases




Today, Nov 24, in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. 
 They were both 14 years old.
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published 
 "On the Origin of Species." It was the paper in which 
 he explained his theory of evolution through the 
 process of natural selection.
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout 
 Mountain began in Tennessee.
1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated 
 in the U.S.
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a 
 barbed fencing material.
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an 
 electric self-starter for an automobile.
1940 After Jewish Anti-Nazi riots, the Nazis closed off 
 the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over the next three 
 years the population dropped from 350,000 to 70,000 
 due to escapes, starvation, disease and deportations 
 to concentration camps.
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the 
 Japanese capital of Tokyo was made by land-based 
 U.S. bombers.
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed 
 Lee Harvey Oswald live on national television.
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean 
 bringing an end to the second manned mission to the moon.
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted 
 from a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with 
 $200,000 in ransom. He was never caught.
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six 
 Israeli prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500
 Palestinians and Lebanese held by the Israelis.
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian 
 jetliner. 60 people died in the raid.
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap 
 short- and medium-range missiles. It was the first 
 superpower treaty to eliminate an entire class of 
 nuclear weapons. They were too unpredictable.
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned 
 after more than a week of protests against its policies.
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141.
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the 
 Brady handgun control bill.
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) 
 were convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of 
 Liverpool, England. They were both sentenced to 
 "indefinite detention, but have been released."
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a 
 constitutional amendment legalizing divorce.
1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event held in Japan.
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their 
 purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. After that, 
 they shelved it and used IE. Then they bought Times-Warner,
 but were no match for the new York gang,  who transferred
 some staff and funds to New York, and then dumped AOL.

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