Saturday, December 20, 2014, 10:59 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sturday, December 20
Thank you, Jan!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania Jerk, who groped drive-thru worker at McDonald's
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax
bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried.
The tax was $1 a year.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Most of the change we think we see in life is due to
truths being in and out of favor.
--- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
______________________________________________________
A Sunday School teacher is telling her class the story of Jonah and the
whale. The childrenís eyes get bigger and bigger as she tells them that
Jonah was swallowed by the whale and sat in its stomach for three days and
three nights before God answered his prayer and the whale expelled Jonah
onto dry land.
When she finishes the story the teacher asks, "Now children, what does this
story teach us?"
There's a long pause. Finally, a six-year-old boy exclaims: "You can't keep
a good man down!"
______________________________________________________
A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor
notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins.
"Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?"
the doctor asks.
"No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife."
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Michael Jenkins
23
Upper Darby
Pennsylvania
Jerk groped drive-thru worker at McDonald's
A Pennsylvania man was charged yesterday with an assortment
of crimes after he allegedly reached into a McDonald’s
drive-thru window and fondled a female employee working
the night shift.
According to a probable cause affidavit, Michael Jenkins, 23,
and another man walked up early Thursday morning to the
eatery in Upper Darby, a Philadelphia suburb.
Jenkins, seen at right, reportedly flirted with the 31-year-
old McDonald’s employee, and offered to pick her up later
that day for a date. The worker, police reported,
ignored Jenkins.
Before departing the window, Jenkins reached in and grabbed
the woman’s breast, cops say. After the victim shut the
window, she spoke with a McDonald’s manager who then called
911.
Jenkins went from the fast food restauarant to a nearby bar,
where he was arrested by cops.
Jenkins was charged with indecent assault, public drunkenness,
harassment, and disorderly conduct. He was later freed on an
unsecured $30,000 bond.
When Jenkins was confronted by an officer, he admitted to
being at the McDonald’s, according to the affidavit.
“Yea I am a ladies man,” Jenkins told the cop.
“That girl over there wants me,” he added, referring to
the McDonald’s employee.
Tech Support Pits
From: Robert
Re: Cyberalert
Dear Webby
The National Cyber Awareness System has sent out an alert
about a Server Message Block (SMB) Worm Tool, partrs ofr which
had apparently been used to hack Sony. The whole report is
way too technical for me, but I gather that it affects Windows
Servers and Windows machines, and that the details are at
https://www.us-cert.gov/ncas/tips/ST13-003
Can you tran slate their recommendations so that I can
understand them?
Thanks
Robert
Dear Robert
If you use McAfee and Malwarebytes,
and use common sense when it comes to downloading utilities
and games, then you will be quite safe.
Sony apparently used a Windows network instead of Linux or
UNIX, and once that Worm Tool was inside, they lost control
without even noticing it.
That does not mean all Windows networks are automatically
vulnerable. Keep in mind, your little home network is not
going to be targeted by North Korea, and the only way your
home network will get compromised, is if you or a family
member downloads some stuff, that includes a free bonus
tool bar or similar trojan horse.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Decorating:
I really like to create decorations using mostly natural
items that I find in our rural community all year. It fits
so well with our old home. They are beautiful, natural
and free and recyclable!
By Dee [175]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The
sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you
a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy
and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held
a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to
become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to
it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine,"
he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to
check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned.
"You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the
typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
______________________________________________________
A painter, whitewashing the inner walls of a country outhouse,
had the misfortune to fall through the opening and land in the
muck at the bottom. He shouted, "Fire! Fire! Fire!" at the top
of his lungs.
The local fire department responded with alacrity, sirens
roaring as they approached the privy.
"Where's the fire?" called the chief.
"No fire," replied the painter as they pulled him out of the hole.
"But if I had yelled, '****! ****! ****!',
who would have rescued me?"
Today in
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set
sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the
start of the first permanent English settlement in America.
1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be
changed from September 1 to January 1.
1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States
began operating at Pawtucket, RI.
1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included
the Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million.
The transfer was completed with formal ceremonies in
New Orleans.
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax
bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried.
The tax was $1 a year.
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent
light at Menlo Park, NJ.
1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way"
when it was lighted by electricity.
1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the
pneumatic tire.
1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME.
1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope
television system.
1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare
between Vietnam partisans and French troops began.
1954 Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the
largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer.
Gleason agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year
period for $6,142,500.
1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West
Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed
again on January 6, 1964.
1973 The Spanish premier Carrero Blanco was assassinated
in Madrid.
1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz,
a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector
off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion.
1989 General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown
by a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian
government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause.
1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, Colombia,
crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of the 163 people
aboard.
1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples
were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded
couples of the opposite sex.
1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred from
Portugal to China.
2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance
the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan.
2001 Argentina's President Fernando De la Rua resigned after
two years in power.
2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to
help the nation heal after decades of war.
2014 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 761 )
Finding files without Search failing
Friday, December 19, 2014, 02:44 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida mother dressing son as a girl and
posting a picture on Facebook
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges
of perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House
of Representatives.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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The average man, who does not know what to do with his life,
wants another one which will last forever.
--- Anatole France (1844 - 1924)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line
between sanity and madness gotten finer?
--- George Price
______________________________________________________
During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to
Washington asked former Sen. George Mitchell if he could
make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still
not arrived from the airport. Mitchell replied: "I spent
years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject
for any length of time -- especially on a subject about which
I have no particular knowledge."
______________________________________________________
Howard County Police officers still write their reports by
hand, and the data is entered later into their database.
One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs.
Thinking that to be an error, the data entry tech called
the farmer directly.
"Is it true, Mr. Smith that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.
"Yeth," lisped the farmer.
Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered:
"Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
Geminid Fireball over Mount Balang
Image Credit: Alvin Wu
While viewing the Geminids meteor shower a few days ago, a
bright fireball was captured over Mt. Balang, China with
particularly picturesque surroundings. In the foreground,
a sea of light clouds slowly floated between dark mountain
peaks. In the background, the constellation of Orion shone
brightly, with the familiar three stars of Orion's belt
visible near the image top right. Sirius, the brightest
star in the night sky, is visible near the image center.
The bright fireball flashed for only a fraction of second
on the lower right. The source of the fireball was a pebble
that intersected the protective atmosphere of Earth,
originally expelled by the Sun-orbiting asteroid-like
object 3200 Phaethon.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Christle Prado
34
Keith Driscoll
26
Winter Garden
Florida
Abusive mother-of-three arrested
for forcing her mentally-ill son, 10, to dress
up as a girl and put make up on because he wet
the bed
A Florida mom and her roommate are facing child cruelty
charges after forcing her 10-year-old son to dress up like
a girl and then posting pictures of the humiliation on
Facebook.
Authorities learned about the incident after a relative of
Christle Prado saw the photos online and noticed the young
boy was visibly upset about being punished.
Prado claims Driscoll, who also happens to be her landlord,
came up with the idea as a way to punish the child for bad
behavior, and trying to blame him for what she did, she claims
she went along with it for fear of compromising her living
situation.
According to Kristi Gray, a representative from the Department
of Children and Families, “It was clear to me and anyone else
who saw these pictures that this boy was clearly distraught
and fearful about what was happening to him…It becomes mental
injury when the child is traumatized during the event and
after the event,” said Gray.
When officials went to visit Prado’s residence, they found
the boy raking leaves in the yard, and when prompted about it,
still emotional from the ordeal.
Prado and Discoll are being charged with cruelty toward
children, which is a second-degree felony, and infliction
of mental injury on a child. The boy and his two siblings
are now in the care of his grandmother, who had reported
the incident, and who says that the boy has a known mental
illness and that the abuse has gone on for far too long.
She has tried to gain custody and funding for some time.
Prado reportedly told an investigator that she was frustrated
that her son had been wetting himself and went to Driscoll
for advice.
Driscoll had the idea for dressing her son up as a girl.
Prado says the boy was dressed as a girl for only two minutes.
Police learned about the incident after grandmother claims she
saw Facebook photos of the boy wearing the dress and crying.
Tech Support Pits
From: Dwayne
Re: Find files
Dear Webby
When I try to find a file using ther Windows SEARCH, it acts
as stupid as if it was a screen saver and craps out as soon
as a fly shakes my desk.
Is there a way around that?
Dwayne
Dear Dwayne
Yes, there is!
As soon as you have finished typing the name of the file you
are searching for, or part of it,
you see a tiny magnifying glass and the text "See more results"
just above where you typed.
Hit that!
That will open a File Explorer with all the search results,
and it won't "crap out" as you so eloquently put it.
You can even sort those search results.
Depending on the size of your hard drives, it might take
some time to finish searching. Just give it time.
You can do other work and don't have to worry about it
collapsing and giving up like the ordinary Search.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Unexpected Company
Keep some practical spare gifts on the side just in case
you need one for an unexpected guest! I have a few generic
'go to' gifts; several jars of local jelly, jam, maple syrup
or honey with a simple square of fabric tied to the top of
each jar looks good. Or a bar or two of beautifully hand
decorated soap or even bottles of wine. If you don't use
them for guests, you could still use them after the
holidays!
By Dee [175]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Little Nancy wailed over her doll, crushed by car tires
when her mother had backed over it. Finally, her mother
had heard enough, "Don't come crying to me.
I told you not to leave it on the porch!"
______________________________________________________
An hysterical mother phones the family's pediatrician with
an emergency.
"Doctor," she says, "I was writing a letter when my
two-year-old came along, grabbed my fancy fountain pen and
swallowed it. What should I do?"
"Don't panic, I'll be right over," says the doctor.
"In the meantime, what are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm using a pencil."
Today in
1154 Henry II became King of England.
1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots
and the Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion.
1732 Benjamin Franklin began publishing "Poor Richard's Almanac."
1776 Thomas Paine published his first "American Crisis" essay.
1777 General George Washington led his army of about 11,000
men to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter.
1842 Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S.
1843 Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first published
in England.
1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones.
1887 Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles
fight which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes.
The fight was ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness.
1903 The Williamsburg Bridge opened in New York City. It
opened as the largest suspension bridge on Earth and
remained the largest until 1924. It was also the first
major suspension bridge to use steel towers to support
the main cable.
1907 A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed
239 workers.
1957 Air service between London and Moscow was inaugurated.
1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the Apollo
program of manned lunar landings.
1984 Britain and China signed an accord returning Hong Kong
to Chinese sovereignty on July 1, 1997.
1989 U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of
General Noriega.
1996 The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize
Black English, also known as "ebonics." The board later
reversed its stance.
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges
of perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House
of Representatives.
2000 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose sanctions on
Afghanistan's Taliban rulers unless they closed all
terrorist training camps and surrender U.S. embassy
bombing suspect Osama bin Laden.
2003 Images for the new design for the Freedom Tower at
the World Trade Center site were released. The building
slopes into a spire that reaches 1,776 feet.
2008 U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion
rescue package of loans for ailing auto makers General
Motors and Chrysler.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 567 )
History of tabs in Chrome
Thursday, December 18, 2014, 12:46 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 18
Thank you, Patricia!!
Thank you Barbara
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Oregon woman is charged after a fatal
accident in which the victim stayed on top of the car
for 11 blocks
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1970 Divorce became legal in Italy.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.
--- Sylvia Robinson
______________________________________________________
Sunday School Bloopers:
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a
jezebel like Delilah.
Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the
Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with
the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found
Jesus- in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an
emaculate contraption.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which
is another name for marriage.
______________________________________________________
Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf
Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a
mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much the
dress on that store dummy over there is?"
"That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather
snooty salesman.
"Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at
Klein's Bargain Store downtown!"
"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the
dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is
100% pure virgin wool."
"Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep
at night do?"
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
Kakabeak (Clianthus)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Isabel Gloria McDaniel
30,
Veneta,
Oregon
Oregon woman is charged after a fatal
accident in which the victim stayed on top of the car
for 11 blocks
Springfield police have arrested a suspect in a fatal
hit-and-run accident in which a motorist allegedly continued
to drive while the victim was still on top of the car.
Police said they arrested Isabel Gloria McDaniel, 30, of
Veneta, at about 9 p.m. Saturday and charged her with a
felony count of hit and run, as well as tampering with
physical evidence.
She was booked into the Lane County Jail.
McDaniel’s husband, Gary Louis McDaniel, 24, was cited
for tampering with physical evidence and then released,
police said.
Police said earlier that a white Honda had sideswiped
Springfield resident Julio Ortiz, 39, in the intersection
of 54th and Main streets in Springfield about 6 p.m.
Thursday. The car then hit his father, Daniel Ortiz-Reynaga,
67, of Mexico, flipping him onto the top of the car.
The motorist drove for about 11 blocks, according to police,
until the car approached 42nd Street on Smith Way, at which
point Ortiz-Reynaga either fell or was removed from the car
and left to die in the street.
The victim was taken to Peace Health Sacred Heart Medical
Center at RiverBend in Springfield by medics and
pronounced dead.
Julio Ortiz suffered minor injuries.
Springfield police said Saturday night that, based on
information from two separate sources, they located the
vehicle believed to have been involved in the incident
in the McDaniels’ garage on Dunham Avenue in Veneta, and
arrested Isabel McDaniel without incident.
Police had released a description of the vehicle earlier
in the week and asked for help from the public.
Members of the public responded, and “their information
was instrumental in the apprehension of the suspect,”
police said.
Tech Support Pits
From: Richard
Re: Chrome history of tabs
Dear Webby
How do I get a history of my tabs in Chrome?
Thanks
Richard
Dear Richard
CTRL H will give you a raw history.
However, I would recommend you get the "Session Buddy"
extension. It gives you an easier to manage history.
It is free at
Session Buddy
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Gift Giving:
Gift cards are great but I always like to pair them with
something. A home improvement store card could be inserted
in a pair of work or gardening gloves; a nursery coupon
placed in a potted plant. Also consider getting a gift
card at their favorite hair stylists (you know they'll
appreciate it sooner or later) gas station, grocer or
(my personal favorite) a bookstore, since ANY
topic/hobby can be found there!
There are also Entertainment books for every area and
they usually offer great BOGO deals. For young families,
going out is an expense they can't afford. You might
even offer to babysit so they can have a date together
to use their coupons.
For young or old, a membership to a museum for the
year gets them a free pass to interesting entertainment,
or you can give tickets to concerts, screenings,
favorite restaurant or a club they like (gym, fitness,
yoga, spa, etc) and sites like Groupon and Living
Social offer great deals for events and products!
By Dee [175]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Two contafiters way up nort in Chicargo wuz makin sum
contafit money an dey accidently made sum twelve dollar
bill by mistake. Dey made a whole bunch of dem before
dey foun dere mistake, so insted of startin over dey
decide to try to pass dem off.
Dey always herd how backward people in Louisiana wuz,
especially dem folks name Boudreaux frum down neer
Lafayette so dey jumpin dere car an drive down to
Lafayette, LA an wen dey got dere dey look in da fone
book an shore enuf dey fine Boudreaux's General Store
an Mercantile listed rite dere in da yeller pages.
Dey went to Boudreaux's store an walk up to da man at
da counter.
Da firs contafiter say, "Are you Mr. Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux say, "Mais shore, dat's me. Wat can Ah do fa
you fellers?"
Da contafiter wisper to his frien, "This is gonna be
easier than I thought."
Da contafiter say, "Can you give us change for a twelve
dollar bill?"
Boudreaux say, "Mais shore Ah can! How you want dat,
tree fores, fore trees, or 2 sixes?"
______________________________________________________
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he
asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech.
When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.
"What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to
know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished."
The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he
replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."
Today in
1796 The "Monitor," of Baltimore, MD, was published as the
first Sunday newspaper.
1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New
York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and
Crippled.
1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph).
1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the
U.S. for an annual rent.
1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was
announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953.
1936 Su-Lin, the first giant panda to come to the U.S. from China,
arrived in San Francisco, CA. The bear was sold to the Brookfield
Zoo for $8,750.
1940 Adolf Hitler signed a secret directive ordering preparations
for a Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union. Operation "Barbarossa"
was launched in June 1941.
1944 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the wartime relocation of
Japanese-Americans.
1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western
Europe, including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary.
1953 WPTZ, in Philadelphia, PA, presented a Felso commercial,
it was the first color telecast seen on a local station.
1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations.
1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania went
online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate electricity
in the United States. It was taken out of service in 1982.
1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates.
1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for murder.
1970 Divorce became legal in Italy.
1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of North Vietnam
during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 12 days later.
1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in London.
1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by
Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph.
1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point in
the 34th game of the season.
998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the U.S.
attacks on Iraq.
1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution
since capital punishment was restored.
1999 After living atop an ancient redwood in Humboldt County,
CA, for two years, environmental activist Julia "Butterfly"
Hill came down, ending her anti-logging protest.
2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The
cathedral is the largest in the United States.
2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its Saab brand.
2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law
with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company a
$14,300-a-day fine until it rids its search engine of the
literary extracts.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 3279 )
History of tabs in Chrome
Wednesday, December 17, 2014, 01:00 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 17
Thank you, Svend!
We had beautiful, thick frost this morning and all day.
Very festive looking!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
a Florida mother, who assaulted and kidnapped an 11 year old
kid for calling her daughter a name
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas
intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
--- Flannery O'Connor (1925 - 1964)
______________________________________________________
The personnel manager was impressing the applicant
with the prospective job.
"We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required
to work with lenses that are a thousandths of an inch thick."
"I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in
a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, it is kosher.
______________________________________________________
When my 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with
delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you
remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember."
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
Snake Gourd (Trichosanthes cucumerina)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Sandra Rivera,
28,
Orlando
Florida
11-year-old choked, kidnapped by woman at school
A Florida mom is facing criminal charges after allegedly
trying to kill an 11-year-old boy who teased her daughter.
Sandra Rivera, 28, overheard the student call her 9-year-old
daughter a curse word on Thursday afternoon outside of their
school in Orlando, WKMG reports. Rivera allegedly responded
by grabbing the boy and choking him, forcing him into her
vehicle, according to WFTV.
Orlando police arrested a woman accused of attacking a boy
at his elementary school, threatening to kill him and
kidnapping him.
The incident happened Thursday after school at Eccleston
Elementary near Bruton Boulevard in Orlando.
Local 6 spoke to the 11-year-old boy and his mother, Ana Baez.
According to the arrest affidavit, Orlando police say
28-year-old Sandra Rivera went to the school waiting to
confront the fifth-grader because she said he called her
9-year-old a curse word.
Baez says she saw video of the incident that was captured
on the school's security cameras.
"When I saw the video, I said no mercy, she's going to jail,"
Baez said.
The 11-year-old says he was on his bike at the school when
Rivera came up and threw him off.
"She slammed me into the wall and then she came behind me
and started choking me and hitting me on the head," the
boy said.
Police say Rivera then threw his bike in her van and
forced him to get inside.
"She told me 'tell me the instructions to your house
or I'll kill you,'" he said.
The fifth-grader says Rivera drove him home and then
admitted to Baez what she had done.
"Even if my son called your daughter a name, you come and
you tell me," Baez said. "You don't go and grab the child
and try and kill him. You're an adult."
Baez called the school to see what had happened and school
officials told her they were notifying police and the
Department of Children and Families.
Rivera was charged with battery and kidnapping, and bonded
out of the Orange County Jail on Friday. No one answered
the door when Local 6 stopped by.
Baez says her son is doing fine physically, but the
emotional trauma has taken its toll. She says he's
having trouble eating and sleeping.
"I'm actually scared she might come back for me, for
calling the police," said the fifth-grader.
For now, Baez says, her son will be getting rides
to and from school.
Tech Support Pits
From: Richard
Re: Chrome history of tabs
Dear Webby
How do I get a history of my tabs in Chrome?
Thanks
Richard
Dear Richard
CTRL H will give you a raw history.
However, I would recommend you get the "Session Buddy"
extension. It gives you an easier to manage history.
It is free at
Session Buddy
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Gift Wrapping
Save and use maps, patterns, sheet music, comic strips or
even wallpaper or fabric to wrap your gifts. We use brown
kraft paper and draw or stamp holiday designs, paw prints or
babies hand prints on to it to personalize it. Some folks
add a copy of a photo as their name tags (which is cute
especially so kids can hand out gifts).
You may decorate a simple wrap with pine or holly sprigs
or pine cones and tie it up with rustic twine, yarn or
inexpensive white and red string for a natural looking
gift wrapping.
Remember to shred used wrapping paper for stuffing boxes
or baskets. So pretty! If mailing a gift you may use
newspaper shredded if needed rather than buying
packing peanuts in some cases!
By Dee [175]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential
employee's application and notices that the man has never
worked in retail before.
He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you are
certainly asking for a high wage."
"Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so much harder
when you don't know what you're doing!"
______________________________________________________
RULES OF THE OFFICE
** If it rings, put it on hold;
** If it clanks, call the repairman;
** If it whistles, ignore it;
** If it's a friend, take a break;
** If it's the boss, look busy;
** If it talks, take notes;
** If it's handwritten, type it;
** If it's typed, copy it;
** If it's copied, email and file it;
** If it's Friday, forget it!
Today in
1777 To annoy England, France recognized American independence.
1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the first
street to go "One Way."
1830 South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia.
1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his paper-twine
machine.
1903 The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight
took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright
made the flight.
1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled
by its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the
Rio de la Plata off Uruguay to an end.
1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of
excluding Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which
ensured that Japanese-Americans were released from
detention camps.
1953 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) decided
to approve RCA’s color television specifications.
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas
intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time.
1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by
concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial
spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings.
1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when
Arab guerillas hijacked a German airliner.
1975 Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her
attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford.
1976 WTCG-TV, Atlanta, GA, changed its call letters to WTBS,
and was uplinked via satellite. The station became the first
commercial TV station to cover the entire U.S.
1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end
of 1979.
1979 Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance executive, was fatally
beaten after a police chase in Miami, FL. Four white police
officers were later acquitted of charges stemming from
McDuffie's death.
1986 Wayne "Danke Schoen" Newton won a $19.2 million suit
against NBC News. NBC had aired reports claiming a link
between Newton and mob figures. The reports were proven
to be false.
1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient
of a heart, lungs, and liver transplant.
1986 Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua.
He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister
Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari
signed the North American Free Trade Agreement.
1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese territory
in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected militants.
1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage at the
Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on April 22, 1997,
with a commando raid that resulted in the deaths of all the
rebels, two commandos and one hostage.
1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act.
The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that they
took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted works
and downloading them from the Internet.
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have
ready for use within two years a system for protecting American
territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks.
2002 McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first
quarterly loss in its 47-year history.
2002 Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed
a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 1694 )
Restore lost tabs in Chrome
Tuesday, December 16, 2014, 10:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 16
Some of the things you can do in Canada
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Texan mother, who stashed body of daughter in fridge
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived
at Lyttleton, New Zealand.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
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Most advances in science come when a person for one reason
or another is forced to change fields.
--- Peter Borden
Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared,
for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest
man can answer.
--- Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)
______________________________________________________
Larry goes to see his travel agent.
"Hey Larry, going away on holiday again?"
"Yes, but I need to ask for something different."
"Go ahead ask me."
"You know last year you suggested Hawaii and when
I returned my wife was pregnant."
"Yes, but. . ."
"And the year before you suggested Bermuda and when
I returned my wife was pregnant."
"Yes, but. . ."
"And the year before that I went to Bali and when
I returned my wife was pregnant."
"Yes."
"Well! Could you suggest something cheaper this year
so that I can bring her with me?"
______________________________________________________
Heard on Southwest Airlines, just after a very hard landing in
Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and
said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking.
I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the
pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault . . .
it was the asphalt!"
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
Candy Cane Sorrel (Oxalis versicolor)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Amber Keyes,
35
Houston
TX
Charged After Daughter's Body
Found In Fridge
A Houston mother has been charged with neglect after her
9-year-old daughter's body was discovered stuffed inside
a refrigerator.
Amber Keyes is being held Wednesday on a charge of injury
to a child-serious bodily injury. The 35-year-old Keyes
hasn't been charged with killing her daughter, Ayahna
Comb, but Houston police say the neglect charge is linked
to her death.
Ayahna weighed 14 pounds (9 year old!) when some children
looking for food found her body in Keyes' refrigerator.
An autopsy determined Ayahna, who had cerebral palsy,
died of malnutrition and dehydration.
Keyes says she found Ayahna unresponsive but couldn't revive
her, so she wrapped the girl in a blanket and stashed her
in the fridge.
Bond is set at $50,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jon
Re: Recover lost Chrome tabs
Dear Webby
When my computer did that rude reboot, after it restarted
it opened Chrome trying to update Adobe, or finish the
aborted update, that had been kaiboshed by the bad Windows
update on the 10th.
And all my open tabs were gone!
How do I get them back?
Jon
Dear Jon
Have not heard from you in many years!
Hope you are well!
Hit CTRL T and they pop up again.
You might have to hit CTRL T more than once to get all of
them back.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
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Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in
hand these days. I wasn't surprised when one of my
daughter's friends showed me a delicate little Japanese
symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she
begged.
"I won't" I promised. "By the way, what does that stand
for?"
"Honesty," she said.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Easy Egg Salad for Sandwiches
Next time you are cooking scrambled eggs, cook a double
quantity and leave half to cool. These can then be mashed
with your preferred mayonnaise and freshly ground black
pepper to taste. It saves all the palaver of shelling
boiled eggs, and is easier to mix into the bargain. I
normally scramble my eggs with salted butter - if you
prefer to use only skimmed milk, you may wish to add
salt. If I am not planning to use the sandwich filling
immediately, I will usually store in the fridge for
up to three days, covered with cling film.
By Verity Pink [18]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
>From Kim
We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from
two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I
was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If
they could live here all those years, so can we!" my
husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged to below zero,
and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept
the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he
hung up.
"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to
Florida for the winter."
______________________________________________________
On a Continental Flight with sme very "senior" flight
attendants crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen,
we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down
the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance
the appearance of your flight attendants."
Today in
1653 Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England,
Scotland and Ireland.
1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor
off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots
were disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation
without representation and the monopoly the government
granted to the East India Company.
1809 Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress
Josephine by an act of the French Senate.
1835 In New York, 530 buildings were destroyed by fire.
1838 The Zulu chief Dingaan was defeated by a small force
of Boers at Blood River celebrated in South Africa as
'Dingaan's Day'.
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived
at Lyttleton, New Zealand.
1916 Gregory Rasputin, the monk who had wielded powerful
influence over the Russian court, was murdered by a group
of noblemen.
1940 French Premier Petain arrested Pierre Laval after
learning of a plan for Laval to seize power and set up
a new government with German support.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of the Bulge began
in Belgium. It was the final major German
counteroffensive in the war.
1950 U.S. President Truman proclaimed a national state of
emergency in order to fight "Communist imperialism."
1960 A United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation
collided over New York City, killing 134 people.
1973 O.J. Simpson broke Jim Brown’s single-season rushing
record in the NFL. Brown had rushed for 1,863 yards, while
Simpson attained 2,003 yards.
1985 Reputed organized-crime chief Paul Castellano was shot
to death outside a New York City restaurant.
1990 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a leftist priest, was elected
president in Haiti's first democratic elections.
1996 Britain's agriculture minister announced the slaughter
of an additional 100,000 cows thought to be at risk of
contracting BSE in an effort to persuade the EU to lift
its ban on Britain.
1998 The U.S. and Britain fired hundreds of missiles on Iraq
in response to Saddam Hussein's refusal to comply with
U.N. weapons inspectors.
1998 Eric Michelman filed the earliest patent for a scroll
wheel for a computer mouse.
1999 Torrential rains and mudslides in Venezuela left
thousands of people dead and forced at least 120,000 to
leave their homes.
2000 Researchers announced that information from NASA's
Galileo spacecraft indicated that Ganymede appeared to
have a liquid saltwater ocean beneath a surface of solid
ice. Ganymede, a moon of Jupiter, is the solar system's
largest moon. The discovery is considered important
since water is a key ingredient for life.
2000 U.S. President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin
Powell to be the first African-American secretary of state.
Powell was sworn in January 20, 2001.
2001 In Tora Bora, Afghanistan, tribal fighters announced
that they had taken the last al-Quaida positions. More than
200 fighters were killed and 25 captured. They also
nnounced that they had found no sign of Osama bin Laden.
2001 Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from
the United States in nearly 40 years. The shipment was sent
to help Cuba after Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba on November
4, 2001.
2001 A British newspaper, The Observer, reported that a
notebook had been found at an al-Quaida training camp in
southern Afghanistan. The notebook contained a "blue print"
for a bomb attack on London's financial district.
2002 Canada ratified the Kyoto Protocol. The 1997 treaty
was aimed a reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
2009 Astronomers discovered GJ1214b. It was the first-known
exoplanet on which water could exist.
2014 smiled.
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( 2.8 / 529 )
How to fix the bad Windows Update
Monday, December 15, 2014, 08:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 15
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
NY teacher, who left her 3 kids alone while she went drinking.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick
based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at Loew's
Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien Leigh
and Clark Gable.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
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A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute.
He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
--- Arthur Brisbane
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be
accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears
into something he can understand.
--- Bertrand Russell
______________________________________________________
>From Dr Bill
similar tale of minister doing funeral for the town reprobate;
AFTER the usual liturgcal stuff he said "can;t say much
about old Zeke except he did half of what Jesus did.
The congregation was a littltle shaken to hear that and after
internment a deacon was delegated to ask about it, after all,
most foks would be overwhelmemed if they did a tenth of
one percent.
The minister replied, "it's only logical --
Jesus went about doing good -- old Zeke just went about!"
______________________________________________________
>From Elsienore
DearWebby, I need that joke of the little brat hiding.
The clean one, not the one where he is blackmailing.
E
Hi Elsinore
Here it is:
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees
about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a
child's whispered, "Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a
youngster the boss asked, Is your Daddy home?
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy
there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "no."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left
home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with
the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman.
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the
boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what? asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like
a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.
What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team
just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the
boss asked, "Why are they there?
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled
giggle: "They're looking for me."
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
Chinese Lantern (Physalis alkekengi)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Laura Aguero-Dupla,
35,
Brooklyn
NY
Teacher left kids home all night
to go drinking and get tattoo
A middle school teacher in Brooklyn is being accused of
endangering her three children by leaving them home all
night while she went out drinking and to get a tattoo.
Laura Aguero-Dupla, 35, allegedly went out Wednesday night
with her husband, Alfredo Bobe, 41, and left her children,
ages 4, 5 and 12 by themselves until early the next morning.
While out on the town, Aguero-Dupla got a tattoo at a
Lower East Side parlor and then went to a bar for
"Whiskey Wednesday" event, the New York Post reports.
At some point during their date night, Aguero-Dupla and
Bobe got into a fight, and he stormed off back home
around 2 a.m. Thursday morning.
However, he didn't have his keys, so he punched out a glass
panel on the front door.
The shattering glass woke up neighbors who called 911, the
York Daily News reports.
Police arrived to find Aguero pacing outside the building
while Bobe was inside the apartment.
The couple was arrested after police learned the kids
had been left home alone for hours, according to WPIX-TV.
Aguero-Dupla was charged with three counts of endangering
the welfare of a child, while Bobe was charged with
acting in a manner injurious to a child.
In addition, Aguero-Dupla has been removed from her
classroom at Middle School 88 in Sunset Park.
This isn't the first time the couple has been in trouble
with the law.
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: How to uninstall the bad Windows Update?
Dear Webby
I too run Windows 7 and I feel that the referenced update was
'automatically' installed. How do I confirm? I've checked for
'current updates' and none are listed. I suspect it is installed
since I'm having difficulties with Ancestry.com. But when I use
Chrome, Ancestry works fine. Is there a way to 'un-install' the
troublesome update? Then what and where do I check to ensure I
don't have any additional updates automatically installed?
Which box should I check mark going forward.
Keep it simple for us amateurs.
Merry Christmas
Frank
Dear Frank
Chrome seems to be using a hard coded Flash player instead of the
Java Run Time Unit, that Microsoft sabotaged, and is therefore
immune against this particular Taliban sabotage.
If you noticed anything abnormal with
Windows Defender
Flash Player
FireFox
Decompressing files
Get an 8004ff91 error
Problems installing updates to anything,
then the Taliban has hit you.
However, apparently the people in Redmond, Washington, have
been told about it, and have frowned upon the evildoers,
and a patch to fix the botched patch has been issued from
the Throne.
They claim the new update is OK.
You can download and install the new KB3024777 update. It will
uninstall the previous, faulty update and fix all the problems
listed above.
If you don't quite trust them and just want to get rid of the
bad update, you can also perform a manual uninstall by navigating
to Control Panel > Programs > Programs and Features >
View Installed Updates, and then right-clicking on
KB3004394
and selecting Uninstall.
You can get the fix from
http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=45305
To turn off automatic updates,
open Windows Update by clicking the Start button
In the search box, type Update, and then, in the list of results,
click Windows Update.
In the left pane, click Change settings.
Turn them all off.
If you have other programs. like for example McAfee, tracking updates,
you have to turn them off there too. However, those are usually quite
civilized and always give you the option to select and deselct
individual updates.
Before and especially after running the 777 fix, save everything
every few minutes. Expect a rude, catastrophic reboot without
any chance to say NO or to save even one file. Just BOOM. Blue
BIOS screen, and gone. It won't happen immediately, might not
be for a couple of hours. It's no big deal, you probably should
do your monthly reboot anyway. It WOULD be a big deal, though,
if you have a work in progress and not saved!
After that catastrophic reboot suddenly the sabotaged updates,
for example for Java or Adobe Flash, will start up on their own
and proceed as if nothing bad had ever happened.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
|
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A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide
to end their union after a very short time together.
After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes
to court to finalize their break-up.
The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the
point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep
this marriage together?"
The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together,
we haven't been able to agree on one thing."
The wife yelled, "Six and a half weeks, you idiot!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Christmas Cards
To save time year after year, save all Christmas cards
received and start an electronic database on your computer.
Then print out all address labels and use pinking shears or
decorative scissors to cut the labels out into charming shapes
to place on your Christmas card envelopes from now on! Makes
it so much easier! Consider inviting friends over to 'CARD POOL'
and address cards together with some wine and cheese and music
for a good time to get in the holiday spirit.
By Dee
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve
any strategic or tactical problem.
Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine
and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it.
They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and
then ask the pivotal question:
Attack or Retreat?
The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up
with the answer:
YES.
The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied.
Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer:
YES WHAT?
Instantly the computer responded:
YES SIR.
______________________________________________________
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a
young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.
"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked
a friend.
"Your chances are better," said the friend,
"if you tell her you're 90 and have a bad heart."
Today in
1654 A meteorological office established in Tuscany began
recording daily temperature readings. Al Gore ignored those,
because they are mere facts.
1840 Napoleon Bonaparte's remains were interred in
Les Invalides in Paris, having been brought from St. Helena,
where he died in exile.
1854 In Philadelphia, the first street cleaning machine was
put into use.
1877 Thomas Edison patented the phonograph.
1890 American Sioux Indian Chief Sitting Bull and 11 other
tribe members were killed in Grand River, SD, during an
incident with Indian police working for the U.S. government.
1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick
based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at Loew's
Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien Leigh
and Clark Gable.
1944 A single-engine plane carrying U.S. Army Major Glenn
Miller disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel
while en route to Paris.
1944 American forces invaded Mindoro Island in the Philippines.
1944 Dr. R. Townley Paton and a small group of doctors laid
the groundwork for the Eye-Bank for Sight Restoration.
1961 Former Nazi official Adolf Eichmann was sentenced to death
in Jerusalem by an Israeli court. He had been tried on charges
for organizing the deportation of Jews to concentration camps.
1961 The U.N. General Assembly voted against a Soviet proposal
to admit Communist China as a member.
1964 Canada's House of Commons approved a newly designed flag
thereby dropping the Canadian "Red Ensign" flag.
1965 Two U.S. manned spacecraft, Gemini 6 and Gemini 7,
maneuvered within 10 feet of each other while in orbit around the Earth.
1966 Walter Elias "Walt" Disney died in Los Angeles at the age of 65.
1970 The Soviet probe Venera 7 became the first spacecraft to
land softly on the surface of Venus. The probe only survived
the extreme heat and pressure for about 23 minutes and transmitted
the first data received on Earth from the surface of another planet.
1973 J. Paul Getty III was found in southern Italy after being held
captive for five months, during which his right ear was cut off
and sent to a newspaper in Rome.
1978 U.S. President Carter announced he would grant diplomatic
recognition to Communist China on New Year's Day and sever
official relations with Taiwan.
1979 The former shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left the
United States for Panama. He had gone to the U.S. for medical
treatment on October 22, 1979.
1979 In a preliminary ruling, the International Court of Justice
ordered Iran to release all hostages that had been taken at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979.
1982 Gibraltar's frontier with Spain was opened to pedestrian
use after 13 years.
1983 The last 80 U.S. combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew. It was
just over seven weeks after the U.S.-led invasion of the
Caribbean island.
1992 IBM announced it would eliminate 25-thousand employees
in the coming year.
1992 El Salvador's government and leftist guerrilla leaders
formally declared the end of the country's 12-year civil war.
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to take over the
peacekeeping operations in Bosnia.
1995 French rail workers voted to end a three-week-old strike.
1996 Boeing Co. announced plans to pay $13.3 billion to acquire
rival aircraft manufacturer McDonnell Douglas Corp.
1999 Syria reopened peace talks with Israel in Washington, DC,
with the mediation of U.S. President Clinton.
2000 The Chernobyl atomic power plant in Kiev, Ukraine, was shut down.
2000 New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed to accept an
$8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. The book was to be about
her eight years in the White House. The advance was the highest ever
to be paid to a member of the U.S. Congress.
2001 It was announced that Siena Heights University would begin offering
a class called "Animated Philosophy and Religion." The two-credit class
would cover how religion and philosophy are part of popular culture and
is based on the television series "The Simpsons."
2014 smiled.
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Which Windows update is bad?
Sunday, December 14, 2014, 12:03 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 14
If you haven't been out late last night to watch the
Geminid meteor shower, you got another chance tonight.
Give yourself ten minutes for your eyes to adjust,
and then enjoy the show. They are coming in at about
100 per hour. No special equipment needed, just a
warm coat and a thermos cup full of coffee.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
a Florida man who assaulted woman who
suggested anger management class
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight.
The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged
in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made,
the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft
for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture
they do not understand, but the passages that bother
me are those I do understand.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything
in nature has a function.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye
to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here
lies only the shell--the nut has gone!"
______________________________________________________
>From Nat
When we put our house up for sale, I stressed
emphatically that my sons make their beds each
morning.
I left for work before they left for school, and I
wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable
when the agent showed it to prospective buyers.
I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old
son's bed was perfectly made each day.
One night when I went into his room, I discovered
his secret.
He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
George Robert Pineda
44
Ocala
Florida
Pineda Assaulted Woman Who
Suggested Anger Management Class
OCALA, Fla. (AP) — Police in central Florida say a man faces
domestic battery charges after assaulting a woman during a
discussion about anger management classes.
The incident happened Tuesday night in a motel room in Ocala.
The Ocala Star-Banner reports the 53-year-old woman and
44-year-old George Robert Pineda were discussing their
futures while consuming alcohol.
According to police, the woman mentioned that Pineda should
take anger management classes. She told police he then
started screaming profanities at her, grabbed her neck and
choked her. She says she eventually pushed him away and
when he fell asleep, she ran out and called police.
Police say she had scratch marks on her neck. Pineda denied
touching the woman and was taken to jail.
Court records show he has several convictions, including
aggravated battery.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jaxs
Re: Which Windows Update is bad?
Dear Webby
Thanks for a GREAT SITE!!
I run Windows 7, I have gotten an update with my auto update,
it installed ok but really messed upped my computer. I can no
longer make folders just briefcases, all my desk icons went to
800/600 pix. I did a restore everything went back to normal
until it updated again. can you find out which update is
causing this?
Thanks
jaxs
Dear Jaxs
Update KB3004394 is the bad one.
Restore to before that, and turn Automatic updating off.
One of the evil things it does is ignore what you have
check-marked for updating. For example, if you
deliberately took the checkmark off Skype, because
you don't want the pufter version, it will put it
on anyway.
Until further notice, avoid all Microsoft
updates.
Apparently one group was sabotaging the victims and adding
stuff, that nobody wanted, another group was trying to reduce
the sabotage so as not to interfere with the Christmas time
advertising revenue, and a third group pushed out the update,
before the other two groups were finished with their evil deeds.
What is really complicating things is that not everybody got
hit with the same sabotage. Apparently a bunch of different
stages of sabotage went out, each requiring a different fix.
The result crippled Windows and won't allow normal decompression.
Most updates of just about anything, not just Windows, arrive in
compressed format, are uncompressed on your machine and then
installed.
That means ALL updates and fixes will have to be shipped in
long format. That is not really a big problem if you have 25 Mbps
DSL or cable, but will cause major hassles if you have 14 Kbps
dial-up.
Right now, for example, if you use FireFox, it's Java part
got sabotaged,
and you can not decompress an update.
Eventually the good people at Java will make a long version
available. Until then, you will just have to switch to
Chrome if you want to listen to AccuRadio or watch movies.
If you haven't gotten hit with Microsoft's KB3004394 Christmas
gift, turn off automatic updates, and don't update ANYTHING
until further notice.
Microsofts 2014 Christmas gift is a definite dud.
Feel free to tell them!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three
sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest
boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the
youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty
of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and
drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17,
making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the
second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got
one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle,
having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove
home.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Look for Early Editions of Encyclopaedia Britannica
Hi, for everyone asking questions as to the value of
Encyclopaedia Britannica sets, the basic guideline is that
the 1st up until the 8th Editions have great collector
values, defined by condition. The 9th and 10th Editions are
so numerous that they are of small value; up to maybe $3-500
in good condition. Anything after the 11th, 12th, 13th
(1910-1928) is basically worthless.
By mrmima [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist
as the cop handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you
get to buy a bicycle."
______________________________________________________
The young lady walked over to the hospital room where she
knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked
the woman blocking the door.
"We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients,"
replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?"
"Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady.
"Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman.
"I'm his mother!
Today in
1503 Physician, astrologer and clairvoyant Nostradamus was
born at St. Remy, Provence, France.
1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and
bolt machine.
1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his
revolutionary Quantum Theory.
1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight.
The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged
in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made,
the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft
for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet.
1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man
to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days
ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott.
1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations.
1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president.
1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It
transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and
surface temperature.
1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police
after holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train
near the Dutch town of Beilen.
1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria
in war in 1967.
1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian
positions in Lebanon for the first time after American
F-14 reconnaissance flights were fired on.
1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick
Rutan and Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the
first non-stop, non-refueled flight around the world.
The trip took nine days to complete.
1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling
several thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees
had driven the vehicles with the odometer disconnected.
1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable
went into service.
1993 A judge in Colorado struck down the state's voter-approved
Amendment Two prohibiting gay rights laws, calling it
unconstitutional.
1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone-marrow
transplant from a baboon.
1997 Iran's newest president, Mohammad Khatami, called for a
dialogue with the people of the United States. The preceding
Iranian leaders had reviled the U.S. as "The Great Satan."
1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an
official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's
upcoming visit to Cuba.
1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2
billion fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers.
1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the "Peanuts"
comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic strip was
published on February 13, 2000.
2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope
would be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian
reasons. Pope had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after
his conviction on espionage charges.
2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000
troops to join an international peacekeeping force in
Afghanistan.
2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to
Cuba began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent
to replenish what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck
on November 4.
2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first spacecraft
to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only the third
robotic rover to land on the moon.
2014 smiled.
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Saturday, December 13, 2014, 11:05 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 13
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Three Grinches Nabbed For
Stealing Items From "Toys For Needy
Children" Donation Box
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left
Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of
the globe. The journey took almost three years.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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It is far more impressive when others discover your
good qualities without your help.
--- Judith Martin,
______________________________________________________
>From Robert
I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for
visually impaired adults.
Many participants have a condition known as macular
degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish
facial features.
I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing
myself.
Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me
well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me,
I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman
and Robert Redford."
Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!"
______________________________________________________
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his
home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked,
"when did you bag him?"
The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting
with my wife and her mother."
"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter.
"My mother-in-law"
______________________________________________________
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Deandra Cooke, 18; Lacinda Granado-Overton, 25;
and Tarica Wright, 26
Aledo, Illinois
Three Grinches Nabbed For
Stealing Items From "Toys For Needy
Children" Donation Box
A trio of women is facing theft charges for allegedly swiping
items from a “Toys for Needy Children” donation box outside
a Walmart in Illinois.
According to cops in Aledo, the women stole the toys last
night from a box that was placed in front of the retailer by
a local Jaycees organization. The group distributes the
collected toys to several hundred children in Mercer County,
which is just south of the Quad Cities area.
Police arrested Deandra Cooke, 18; Lacinda Granado-Overton,
25; and Tarica Wright, 26, in connection with the toy thefts.
They were each hit with a felony theft charge and booked into
county jail.
All three defendants have previously been arrested for theft,
according to court records.
Pictured above, Cooke (left), Granado-Overton (center), and Wright
(right) remain in the Mercer County lockup, where bond has not
been set, according to a jail official.
Tech Support Pits
From: Eddie
Re: Windows 7 users urged to uninstall broken update
that wreaks havoc on software
Dear Webby
Is the currebt Microsoft update really bad?
Eddie
Dear Eddie
Yes, it is.
Skip it.
Windows 7 users may have automatically updated themselves
into a pickle with a recent patch from Microsoft.
Microsoft has confirmed that the KB3004394 update it
issued on December 10 can cause various problems. What's
worse is that it may also prevent users from installing
newer updates. The problems are reportedly limited to
Windows 7 machines, and don't affect users running Windows XP.
Although Microsoft didn't specify all the problems users
have been experiencing, AMD's Robert Hallock said the update
can prevent the system from installing new graphics drivers
—which is particularly troublesome as AMD's feature-stuffed
new Catalyst Omega drivers launched the same day the borked
Windows update rolled out. According to Infoworld, users
on Microsoft's support forums have pointed out a litany of
other issues, including failure to launch Windows Defender,
problems with running VirtualBox and strange errors from
User Account Control.
If you have not done the December 10 update, skip it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A guy took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into
a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told
me to say no to everything."
"Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?"
"Uhhh . . . no," the girl replied.
"Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?"
"N-n-no," the girl stammered.
"You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if
you're on the level about this."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Inexpensive But Thoughtful Gifts
Here are a few of my ideas for inexpensive but thoughtful
gifts. A box of chocolates with a homemade card that says
you're just too sweet for words.
Give out cards with homemade coupons for neighbors, like
one free night of babysitting, etc. depending on the needs
of the person you're giving it to. Buy a tea towel and dish
rag with a tag that says enjoy your new washer and dryer.
Family theme boxes, for movie night add a movie, popcorn
packages, and 2 litre of pop. You can do car wash baskets
with items from dollar store like sponges, cleaning fluid,
wax, etc. Use your imagination. Chocolate boxes with coffee
mug, various chocolates, a book, and book mark, maybe a candle.
By Tracy C. from Brockville, Ontario
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
On their cross-country road trip, a couple stopped for lunch
at a roadside cafe in the southwest. They sat down at the
counter and ordered coffee. While they were looking at the
menu, a cowboy approached the counter, swung his long
leg over the stool beside them and farted loudly.
The tourist jump up and cried, "Sir, how dare you fart like
that so rudely - before my wife!"
The cowboy immediately jumped off the stool, bowed and
tipped his stetson toward the woman. "Shucks, ma'am, I'm
awfully sorry," he said.
"But how was I supposed to know we was taking turns"
______________________________________________________
Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park.
Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and
asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?"
The padre glances skyward and mumbles,
"Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says,
"No, my son, I was not gambling."
The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if
he was gambling.
The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath,
"Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer,
"No, my son, I was not gambling."
The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says,
"Rabbi, were you gambling?"
The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the
officer and asks, "With who?"
Today in
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left
Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of
the globe. The journey took almost three years.
1636 The United States National Guard was created when
militia regiments were organized by the General Court of
the Massachusetts Bay Colony.
1642 New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman.
1809 The first abdominal surgical procedure was performed in
Danville, KY, on Jane Todd Crawford. The operation was
performed without an anesthetic.
1816 John Adamson received a patent for a dry dock.
1862 In America, an estimated 11,000 Northern soldiers were
killed or wounded when Union forces were defeated by Confederates
under General Robert E. Lee, at the Battle of Fredericksburg.
1883 The border between Ontario and Manitoba was established.
1884 Percy Everitt received a patent for the first coin-operated
weighing machine.
1921 Britain, France, Japan and the United States signed the
Pacific Treaty.
1937 Japanese forces took the Chinese city of Nanking (Nanjing).
An estimated 200,000 Chinese were killed over the next six weeks.
The event became known as the "Rape of Nanking."
1944 During World War II, the U.S. cruiser Nashville was badly
damaged in a Japanese kamikaze suicide attack. 138 people were
killed in the attack.
1964 In El Paso, TX, President Johnson and Mexican President
Gustavo Diaz Ordaz set off an explosion that diverted the
Rio Grande River, reshaping the U.S.-Mexican border. This
ended a century-old border dispute.
1980 Three days after a disputed general election, Uganda’s
President Milton Obote was returned to office.
1981 Authorities in Poland imposed martial law in an attempt
to crackdown on the Solidarity labor movement. Martial law
ended formally in 1983.
1998 Puerto Rican voters rejected U.S. statehood in a
non-binding referendum.
2000 Seven convicts, the "Texas 7," escaped from Connally
Unit in Kenedy, TX, southeast of San Antonio, by
overpowering civilian workers and prison employees. They
fled with stolen clothing, pickup truck and 16 guns
and ammunition.
2001 The U.S. government released a video tape that showed
Osama bin Laden and others discussing their knowledge of
the terrorist attacks on the United States on September
11, 2001.
2001 Israel severed all contact with Yasser Arafat. Israel
also launched air strikes and sent troops into Palestine
in response to a bus ambush that killed 10 Israelis.
2001 Gunmen stormed the Indian Parliament and killed seven
people and injured 18. Security forces killed the attackers
during a 90-minute gunbattle.
2001 NBC-TV announced that it would begin running hard liquor
commercials. NBC issued a 19-point policy that outlined the
conditions for accepting liquor ads.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 559 )
Is Chrome safe to use as the main browser?
Friday, December 12, 2014, 11:46 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Wisconsin beer-battered man
who blamed beer- battered fish
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at
Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical
drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing
and hair accessories were valued at $4,760.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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We always like those who admire us;
we do not always like those whom we admire.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)
______________________________________________________
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly
complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student
interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the
lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does
physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without
saying a word and then continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out
of medical school."
______________________________________________________
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when
he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door,
and screamed: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all
heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when
I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "SHUT TH F*** UP!!!"
The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small
voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the
dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
John Przybyla
75
ADAMS COUNTY,
Wisconsin
Beer-Battered Man
Blames Beer- Battered Fish
Motorist with nine DWI collars offered unique excuse to deputy
DECEMBER 10--During a recent traffic stop, a Wisconsin
motorist who has nine prior drunk driving convictions on his
record explained that the reason a sheriff’s deputy smelled
booze on his breath was because he had just eaten beer-battered
fish at lunch.
John Przybyla was pulled over by a cop who spotted the
75-year-old’s vehicle driving erratically. When the Adams
County Sheriff’s Office deputy approached Przybyla--who was
driving on a revoked license--he recognized the “smell of
of an intoxicating beverage emitting from his breath.”
Przybyla’s eyes were also bloodshot and glossy, according
to a police report detailing the 2:30 PM traffic stop. During
field sobriety tests, Przybyla “showed impairment.”
Additionally, Deputy Brian Loewenhagen found an open can of
Red Dog Beer on the truck’s passenger seat.
When the deputy asked Przybyla (seen above) how much alcohol
he had consumed, “John said he had not been drinking,” adding
that he was heading home after attending a fish fry. Przybyla,
Deputy Loewenhagen reported, “said he wasn’t drinking and
had beer battered fish.”
Przybyla, who himself appeared to be beer battered, was
arrested after failing the field sobriety tests. While a
Breathalyzer test recorded Przybyla’s blood alcohol content
at .062--below the .08 limit--his history of DWI convictions
prohibits him from driving with a BAC above .02.
Along with his tenth drunk driving charge, Przybyla was
booked on several other counts, including driving with a
revoked license and possessing an open can of beer in a
motor vehicle.
Przybyla, who lives in the village of Friendship, is next
scheduled for a January 21 court appearance.
Tech Support Pits
From: Fran
Re: Is Chrome OK as the main browser?
Dear Webby
Is Chrome OK as the main browser? It seems to take some
getting used to, but after that is pretty good.
Fran
Dear Fran
Yes, Chrome is quite OK as the main browser, but don't get
carried away un-installing FireFox!
There are occasions, when you do need FireFox on the side.
It is safe to UnInstall Internet Explorer, whenever they
have a security issue, and forgetting to re-install it,
but occasionally, about 1 % of the time, you do need
FireFox.
They don't clash or cause problems and co-exist nicely
side by side.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Dear Ma and Pa:
Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer
the Army beats working for old man Minch. Tell them to join
up quick before all the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly
6 a.m.( but am getting so I like to sleep late. All you do
before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things --
no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split,
fire to lay. Practically nothing. The guys have to shave,
but they say it is not bad in warm water, and after I thumped
a few of them, they don't tell nobody about why I don't need
to shave.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef,
ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food, but you
can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee.
Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on
"route marches," which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to
harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him
different. A "route march" is a casual stroll about as far
as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore
feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice,
but awful flat.
The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt.
is like the school board. Kernels. and Generals just ride
around and frown. They don't bother you none.
I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why, the
bull's-eye is near big as a chipmonk and don't move and
it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All
you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it, you don't
even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer and Mary to hurry and join
before others get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Pat
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Inexpensive But Thoughtful Gifts
Here are a few of my ideas for inexpensive but thoughtful
gifts. A box of chocolates with a homemade card that says
you're just too sweet for words.
Give out cards with homemade coupons for neighbors, like
one free night of babysitting, etc. depending on the needs
of the person you're giving it to. Buy a tea towel and dish
rag with a tag that says enjoy your new washer and dryer.
Family theme boxes, for movie night add a movie, popcorn
packages, and 2 litre of pop. You can do car wash baskets
with items from dollar store like sponges, cleaning fluid,
wax, etc. Use your imagination. Chocolate boxes with coffee
mug, various chocolates, a book, and book mark, maybe a candle.
By Tracy C. from Brockville, Ontario
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Great Comeback
This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. This is a
recount of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between
a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who's
about to sponsor a boy scout troop visiting his military
installation. (Note: While this has been presented as a
"true story" for several years, some people dispute that it
actually happened).
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are
you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing,
canoeing, archery, and shooting."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible,
isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly
supervised on the rifle range."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly
dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching
them proper rifle range discipline before they ever touch a firearm."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become
violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute.
How much do you charge?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
______________________________________________________
THE DVD PLAYER had conked out and we weren't able to
watch the movie we'd rented. Then my husband had a brilliant idea:
"Why don't we use the PlayStation?"
We pushed all the buttons, but couldn't get it to work, so
we gave up and went upstairs. We were reading in bed when
our 17-year-old son appeared in our doorway.
"Someone left a dirty DVD in my PlayStation," he said.
"We were trying to watch a movie on it," my husband admitted,
"but we couldn't get past the parental control screen."
"What a shame," our son said as he smiled and closed the
door.
Today in
1792 In Vienna, 22-year-old Ludwig van Beethoven received
one of his first lessons in music composition from Franz
Joseph Haydn.
1800 Washington, DC, was established as the capital of the
United States.
1896 Guglielmo Marconi gave the first public demonstration
of radio at Toynbee Hall, London.
1897 The comic strip"The Katzenjammer Kids" (Hans and Fritz),
by Rudolph Dirks, appeared in the New York Journal for the
first time.
1899 George Grant patented the wooden golf tee.
1900 Charles M. Schwab formed the United States Steel
Corporation.
1901 The first radio signal to cross the Atlantic was
picked up near St. John's Newfoundland, by inventor
Guglielmo Marconi.
1915 The first all-metal aircraft, the German Junkers
J1, made its first flight.
1917 Father Edward Flanagan opened Boys Town in Nebraska.
1925 The "Motel Inn," the first motel in the world, opened
in San Luis Obispo, CA.
1937 Japanese aircraft sank the U.S. gunboat "Panay" on
China's Yangtze River. Japan apologized for the attack,
and paid $2.2 million in reparations.
1947 The United Mine Workers union withdrew from the
American Federation of Labor.
1951 The U.S. Navy Department announced that the world's
first nuclear powered submarine would become the sixth
ship to bear the name Nautilus.
1955 It was announced that the Ford Foundation gave
$500,000,000 to private hospitals, colleges and medical
schools.
1955 British engineer Christopher Cockerell patented the
first hovercraft.
1963 Kenya gained its independence from Britain.
1975 Sara Jane Moore pled guilty to a charge of trying to
kill U.S. President Ford in San Francisco the previous
September.
1982 20,000 women encircled Greenham Common air base in
Britain in protest against proposed site of U.S. Cruise
missiles there.
1983 Car bombs were set off in front of the French and U.S.
embassies in Kuwait City. Shiite extremists were responsible
for the five deaths and 86 wounded.
1984 In a telephone conversation with U.S. President Reagan,
William J. Schroeder complained of a delay in his Social
Security benefits. Schroeder received a check the following day.
1985 248 American soldiers and eight crewmembers were killed
when an Arrow Air charter crashed in Gander, Newfoundland
after takeoff.
1989 Britain forcibly removed 51 Vietnamese from Hong Kong
and returned them to their homeland.
1989 Leona Helmsley was fined $7 million and sentenced to
four years in prison for tax evasion.
1994 The Brazilian Supreme Court acquitted former President
Fernando Collor de Mello of corruption charges that had
forced him to resign in 1992.
1995 The U.S. Senate stopped a constitutional amendment
giving Congress authority to outlaw flag burning and other
forms of desecration against the American flag.
1995 Two French airmen shot down over Bosnia arrived home
after almost four months of being held captive by the
Bosnian Serbs.
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, the international terrorist
known as "Carlos the Jackal," went on trial in Paris on
charges of killing two French investigators and a
Lebanese national. He was convicted and sentenced to
life in prison.
1997 The U.S. Justice Department ordered Microsoft to sell
its Internet browser separately from its Windows operating
system to prevent it from building a monopoly of Web
access programs.
1998 The House Judiciary Committee rejected censure, and
approved the final article of impeachment against U.S.
President Clinton. The case was submitted to the full
House for a verdict.
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court found that the recount ordered by
the Florida Supreme Court in the 2000 U.S. Presidential
election was unconstitutional. U.S. Vice President Al Gore
conceded the election to Texas Gov. George W. Bush the next day.
2000 Timothy McVeigh, over the objections of his lawyers,
abandoned his final round of appeals and asked that his
execution be set within 120 days. McVeigh was convicted of the
April 1995 truck bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Fedal
Building in Oklahoma City, OK, that killed 168 and injured 500.
2001 Gerardo Hernandez was sentenced to life in prison for being
the leader of a Cuban spy ring. His conviction was based on his
role in the infiltration of U.S. military bases and in the
deaths of four Cuban-Americans whose planes were shot down
five years before.
2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at
Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical
drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing
and hair accessories were valued at $4,760.
2002 North Korea announced that it would reactivate a nuclear
power plant that U.S. officials believed was being used to
develop weapons.
2014 smiled.
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( 3.1 / 1277 )
Thursday, December 11, 2014, 09:15 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 11
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Oregon dope facing heroin charges, who
brought syringe to court
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight
to Trevor Berbick.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
When the character of a man is not clear to you,
look at his friends.
--- Japanese Proverb
______________________________________________________
One in twentysix Irish drivers reports to have driven
while sober on one or more occasion.
______________________________________________________
Kate goes over to visit one of her friends.
While she is at her friend's house it starts to
rain very heavily. Her friend tells her to spend
the night at her house and go home the next day.
When she hears this, Kate rushes out the
door and comes a while later totally drenched
and carrying a small shopping bag.
So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?"
"I went home to get my pajamas!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Michael Durban
Marion County,
Oregon
Oregon dope facing heroin charges
brings syringe to court
A man who came to an Oregon courtroom on Monday to be
arraigned on a heroin possession charge will be needled
about the visit for years to come.
That's because Michael Durban, 23, allegedly showed up
to the Marion Count Courthouse with a syringe and a
cotton ball in his pocket, KPTV.com reports.
Durban was going through a security screening when deputies
allegedly found hypodermic needles and a cotton ball that
they think contained heroin in his pocket, according to
OregonLive.com.
When the authorities pointed out the drug paraphernalia, the
suspect allegedly said, “I got mixed up. I thought I left it
in my car,” KATU.com reports.
Durban, who was supposed to be arraigned on a drug charge,
was arrested on the spot and charged with unlawful
possession of heroin.
He was taken to the Marion County Jail and is scheduled
to be arraigned on the new charge Tuesday afternoon,
the Statesman Journal reports.
Tech Support Pits
From: Noella
Re: Password Keeper
Dear Webby
Good morning!
I know you've mentioned this several times, but I've not
paid any attention because I figured I'd never need it.
Where is the best place for me to store my passwords
"in the cloud"?
Last night my cell phone account was hacked into and one
of my passwords saved my account. I have all of them written
on 3 x 5 cards at home. Since I live alone, I feel pretty
safe. But I suppose anything could happen.
Noella
Dear Noella
For password keeping I have used Roboform for about 15 years.
http://roboform.com
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done
run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he
seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem
big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to
be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake
and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one
bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n
to get hisself free.
But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip
on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and
got de frog and puts it in his baitcan.
Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his
gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back
pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine
likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat
snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp.
Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes
back to fishin'. A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin
tappin' on his barefoot toe.
He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was with
two more frogs.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Candy Cane "Advent Calendar" Tree
When our boys were too small to understand what an advent
calendar was I still wanted a way for them to be able to
count the days until Christmas.
While we were decorating our tree, the boys had chosen to
put candy canes on it. Then it came to me, why not put one on
it for each of our two sons for each day until Christmas?
When the last candy cane was left they knew the next day
was Christmas. It didn't matter when we put up our tree we
just counted the number of days left and adjusted.
Of course those first years, the bottom of the tree was a
little heavy with the candy canes compared to the top where
they couldn't reach, but what did it matter? It worked great
and we started a new tradition at our house.
One year after they were gone from home, I had decided not to
put to candy canes on the "fancy" tree. One of the boys
stopped by, he told me point blank something was missing.
Even with lace and bows, the candy canes were required
decorations at our house, and I am so glad they
remembered.
Source: My sons and I, 30 years ago.
By latrtatr from Loup City, NE
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought
was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly
froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say,
"Jesus is watching you."
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward
again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he
spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked
the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the
parrot, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the
rottweiller Jesus."
______________________________________________________
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister.
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?
11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does
he weigh?
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
===================
So how do you think you did in that quiz?
Here are the answers....
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
One (1). You can only be born once.
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to
every inning.
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his
widow's sister?
No. If she is a widow, he is dead.
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add
10. What do you get?
Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many
apples are you left with?
Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO
apples.
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take
one every half and hour. How long will the pills last?
One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the
second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have
run out and only an hour has passed.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How
many sheep are left?
Nine (9). like I said, all BUT nine die.
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take?
None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.
11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does
he weigh?
Meat...that is self-explanatory.
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen?
TWELVE...it's a dozen!
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
George W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his
name.
Today in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis
took place in New England.
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds.
1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention,
which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges
of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent
to the guillotine the following January.
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a
tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental
procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic.
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine
exhibitors.
1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life
of President-elect Herbert Hoover.
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed.
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry
American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor.
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the
League of Nations.
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The
U.S in turn declared war on the two countries.
1961 The first direct American military support for South Vietnam
occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters
arrived in Saigon.
1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time
in Toulouse, France.
1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister
Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact when
they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of
Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland.
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight
to Trevor Berbick.
1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for
$6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and Television.
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at
Christie's for £82,500.
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons of
illegal fireworks exploded.
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of
marriage.
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for blasphemy,
made his first public appearance since 1989 in New York, at a
dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First Amendment
(which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.).
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets entered
Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore control
the breakaway republic.
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders
of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration
known as "The Miami Process."
1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political ally
of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He conferred with
Prime Minister Tony Blair in London.
1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming conference
in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse gases."
1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire genetic
blueprint of a tiny worm.
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey to
the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of 1999,
apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to convert
English measures to metric values.
1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed
through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton.
2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that he would
end his three-plus year retirement and become an active National Hockey
League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned officially he became
the first owner/player in NHL history.
2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison ranches.
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would withdraw the
U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia.
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of
"Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence against an
international software piracy ring.
2014 Pirate Bay was busted and taken down.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 792 )
Wednesday, December 10, 2014, 01:26 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 10
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Louisiana Teen Killed By Train
After Putting Coins On Tracks and
putting his head too close
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine
with an investment of $7,600.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
--- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
______________________________________________________
On a recent evening a family sat in a darkened theater waiting
to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad
for the theater's concession stand, they noticed the sound was
missing. The unexpected silence continued for several
moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the
crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?"
______________________________________________________
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule,
working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy
loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack
intelligence. You will live for 40 years."
The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is
too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was
so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold
vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will
be his greatest companion. You will eat his table
scraps and live for 30 years."
And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog
is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was
so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are
Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like
an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20
years."
And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as
the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give
me no more than 10 years." And it was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man,
the only rational being that walks the earth. You will
use your intelligence to have mastery over the
creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and
live for 20 years."
And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20
years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years
the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the
10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then
marry and live 20 years like a mule working and
carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have
children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house
and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry;
then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey,
acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
early morning, Rome airport, returning from a marble buying
trip. Cell phone shot from the shuttle bus.
If you want a really different Christmas present, check out
Walter's "Dolce Mio". Not too late for shipping!
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and a Darwin Award goes to
Brandt Torres
17
LIVONIA, La
Louisiana Teen Killed By Train
After Putting Coins On Tracks and
putting his head too close
A Louisiana teenager playing a game with friends on train
tracks was killed this weekend when some equipment threw
him under one of the cars.
Law enforcement officials tell The Advocate that 17-year-old
Brandt Torres and three friends had been placing coins on
train tracks to watch them be crushed early Sunday. Torres
lay on the ground inches from the passing cars. A ladder
hanging off one of the cars caught him, tossing him under
the train. He was just south of a Union Pacific rail yard
in Livonia, and he died about 1:30 a.m.
---------------
When I was about 6 or 7 I watched bigger kids, who had coins,
put them on the rails. I didn't have coins, so I tried it
with little rocks.
I was crazy, not stupid, so I stood well back.
Then a railroader caught me and beat the crap out of
me, and claimed the hole in the wall on the second floor
of the train station was from a rock put on the rails by
a snot-nosed kid, and flung by a locomotive.
I was quite impressed, and never did it again.
Years later I found out the hole in the brick wall
was from an American plane in WWII wasting ammo before
fleeing into nearby Switzerland. That was 8 miles
from Switzerland.
So, if you see a snotnosed kid putting stuff onto the rails,
do him a favor and beat the crap out of him!
Tech Support Pits
From: Tim
Re: Excel versus Calc
Dear Webby
What is the difference between Microsoft Excel and
Open Office Calc?
Tim
Dear Tim
It is mostly a religious issue. Neither side is willing
to listen to facts.
Either program can handle your spreadsheet needs quite
nicely.
The difference I can see is that Open Office Calc can pick up
old Excel spreadsheets quite nicely, work on them and even save
them back in Excel format, not just in it's own Open Format.
If you work in a mixed or international environment where
you might encounter Excel, Lotus, Quattro, Calc, etc.,
then the choice is clear: Then you need Calc.
However, if all you ever work on is the stuff on your own
machine, then it makes absolutley no difference which
spreadsheet program you pick,
except that Calc is part of Open Office and is free.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in
the furniture store.
Pete said to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't
think we can afford it."
The salesman said, "You just make a small down payment,
and then you don't make another payment for six months."
Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and said,
"Who told you about us?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sorry, no new tips, just wanna-be novels.
Removing a Sticky Residue
Lemon essential oil removes sticky residues quickly and
easily. Put 4 drops of the lemon essential oil onto a
cotton ball. Hold the cotton ball onto the sticky residue
for a couple seconds then rub in a circular motion until
the residue is gone. I have successfully used this method
for removing two sided tape from metal and also sticky
residue from labels.
By StellaBell [149]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer,
"No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it
doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to
the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That
isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact,
I have placed an order for them a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never,
never, never, never say we don't have something. If we
don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now,
what was it she asked about?"
"Rapes in the parking lot."
______________________________________________________
A college professor asked his class a question.
"If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago
is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000
miles from Chicago, how old am I?"
One student in the back of the class raised his hand and
when called upon said "Professor you're 44."
The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell
me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"
The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother,
he's 22,
and he's half nuts."
Today in
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The
papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication.
Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church
in January 1521.
1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the
first pneumatic tires.
1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended
the Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent
of Spain.
1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded.
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first
American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for
helping mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War.
1939 The National Football League's attendance exeeded 1
million in a season for the first time.
1941 Japan invaded the Philippines.
1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and
Repulse were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of
Malaya.
1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine
with an investment of $7,600.
1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in
the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami
on a National Airlines Boeing 707.
1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries
in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded.
1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant,
a long-acting contraceptive implant.
1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the
repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit.
1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of
Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the
former Yugoslavia.
1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new
democratic constitution, completing the country's transition
from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy.
1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international
space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface.
1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional
clauses that rejected Israel's existence.
1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for
China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was
charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons
lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading
restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58
counts were dropped.
2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries,
opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi
reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies
from winning subcontracts.
2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first
elected female president.
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( 3.1 / 320 )
Alternative to Office 365
Tuesday, December 9, 2014, 01:15 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 9
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman, who butt-dialled 911 and confessed her
shoplifting and meth making. And then thought getting
mug shotted in jail was a good time to get a glamor shot.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer, known as
"Univac 1107."
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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America believes in education: the average professor earns
more money in a year than a professional athlete earns
in a whole week.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
______________________________________________________
Three paramedics were boasting about improvements
in their respective ambulance team's response times.
"Since we installed our new satellite navigation
system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency
response time by ten percent."
The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad,"
the second paramedic commented. "But by using a
computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our
average ERT by 20 percent."
Again, the other team members gave their congratulations,
until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing!
Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam,
we've cut our emergency response time in half!"
______________________________________________________
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,
shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living
room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math,
and 20 in science."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Brenda for this pictureof one of her horses:
Click through for the big picture
Silvers Moon Queen, young Tennessee Walking Horse Mare
Brenda's site is at http://triangle-b.com
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
mugging for her mugshot in jail
Ashley Malcolm,
25
Oak Hill, Florida
Pocket dial to 9-1-1 leads
to arrest of Volusia County shoplifting suspect
A pocket dial to 9-1-1 by an Oak Hill woman who admittedly
stole from a New Smyrna Beach Wal-Mart helped authorities
track down the suspect, according to the call released by
the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.
Ashley Malcolm, 25, was in the process of hopping into her
getaway vehicle when the call to 9-1-1 began Tuesday
afternoon, authorities said.
Malcolm orders her friend to get into the truck and drive away
from the store at 3155 State Road 44, according to the call,
which is longer than 18 minutes.
“Slow the [expletive] down,” Malcolm tells the driver.
“Please just drive normal.”
Throughout the call, Malcolm can be heard barking orders to her
friend on which streets to take.
When the unidentified friend yells at Malcolm to stop yelling
at him, Malcolm snaps at him.
“You’re not in trouble right now,” shesays. “You had nothing to
do with it. You weren’t inside Wal-Mart stealing.”
Malcolm goes on to tell her friend that all they have is his
license tag number, and she can just tell police she asked for
a ride and that he had no knowledge of her plans.
The woman also talks about the chemicals in the truck to make
methamphetamine, which she said she does not want to get
arrested for, according to her 9-1-1 call.
After authorities tracked down the truck, Malcolm was charged
with retail theft and unlawful possession of chemicals, records
show. She was being held Friday evening in the Volusia County
Branch Jail on $3,000 bail.
The driver was not arrested.
Tech Support Pits
From: Lynne
Re: Office 365
Dear Webby
Dear Webby,
We are senior’s and we have been searching for an office
program that has all the Microsoft programs – outlook,
publisher, excel, word etc. that is within our
pocketbook range
We have come across the program “Office 365”.
Have you heard of this program? It sounds too good to be true!!
Do you know the pro’s and con’s.
We have read that it is Cloud based, we haven’t Cloud for
anything yet. Is it safe??
We have learned so much from your web page.
It has been always easy to understand the answers from you.
Have a Merry Christmas and the best ever year ahead!!
Minnesota Grams
Dear Lynne
Office365 is just the name for the current Microsoft Office.
Microsoft is trying to come up to the same level as
Open Office.
The biggest difference is that Open Office is free,
Microsoft Office 365 is expensive.
While Europe and Asia has been using Open Office for many
years, in NorthAmerica a lot of people are still tied to
Microsoft.
However, there is no need to be afraid. You can pick up
your Excel files with Open Office Calc, and even save
them back as Excel files. The same goes for WORD docs.
You simply use Writer.
Open Office is at
http://www.openoffice.org/
For email you can use Thunderbird
https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/thunderbird/
It too is free,
or Gmail, or ProtinMail, or even Eudora, like I have been
using since 1993.
You are totally free to use whichever email program you want,
even the silly Incredimail with their emoticons.
Re Cloud, don't let the con artists confuse you with
fashionable catch-words.
If your email is webmail at Comcast, like it has been for the
last 20 years, then it is "on the cloud". Ho, hum. No big deal.
When your ISP allows you a web page, or a few, and you keep
stuff up there, that is "on the cloud".
If you use ANY online back-up or sync service, that is
"on the cloud."
When you want a picture or article from the Humor Letter
from 5 years ago, you look in the archive at
http://webby.com/humor/blog
That is "on the cloud".
Basically, anything, that is not on your computer,
is "on the cloud".
Old hat, everybody has been using it for decades,
just a fashionable catch phrase.
"On the cloud" has some importance when somebody works from
many different places and computers, and needs access to
their documents from all those different computers. It is
no big deal, just rather slow compared to having the
documents on your computer.
Even Google Docs work like that, and have for years.
Cloud is just a fashionable catch phrase used by some used
car salesmen and Microsoft. New and improved air in the
muffler of Microsoft Office 365!
Just use Open Office and save your money for something else.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Hailey, 4, heard a thunderstorm rumbling overhead and asked her
parents and grandparents to listen to it. After the thunder stopped,
Hailey told everyone to be quiet for a minute and she began to pray
and asked God to stop the thunder and lightning.
Immediately after she said "Amen," another clap of thunder was heard.
Hailey looked up towards heaven and said, "You're not listening!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing a Sticky Residue
Lemon essential oil removes sticky residues quickly and
easily. Put 4 drops of the lemon essential oil onto a
cotton ball. Hold the cotton ball onto the sticky residue
for a couple seconds then rub in a circular motion until
the residue is gone. I have successfully used this method
for removing two sided tape from metal and also sticky
residue from labels.
By StellaBell [149]
If you can't find that fancy Lemon Essential Oil,
WD40 works well too.
Have FUN!
DearWQebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
"Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young
people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups,
and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to
know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late,
and I don't chase after women!"
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow,
I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers,
"How? With a bare naked bran muffin?"
______________________________________________________
He loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the
ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next
hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan.
So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the
dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait.
He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a
little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.
He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a
bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?'
"Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a
minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."
Today in
1625 The Treaty of the Hague was signed by England and the
Netherlands. The agreement was to subsidize Christian IV
of Denmark in his campaign in Germany.
1783 The first executions at Newgate Prison took place.
1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light
Brigade," was published in England.
1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company.
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the
ball-bearing roller skate.
1914 The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire.
1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops
led by Viscount Allenby.
1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first
major offensive in North Africa.
1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM
radio advertising contract with experimental station
W2XOR in New York City.
1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy.
1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and
regained his world middleweight boxing title.
1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and
11 other men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society.
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer, known as
"Univac 1107."
1962 "Lawrence of Arabia," by David Lean had its world
premiere in London.
1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion
seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from
having to default.
1984 Iranian security men seized control of the plane ending
a five-day hijacking of a Kuwaiti jetliner, which was parked
at the Tehran airport.
1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members received
sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in
which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared."
1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising)
against Israeli occupation.
1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the
Jabliya refugee camp.
1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential
election in the country's history.
1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's
first free elections in 50 years.
1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iraq
began arriving in the U.S.
1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a
single currency in 1999.
1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced
their separation.
1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of
lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair.
U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George.
1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee
delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'.
1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II
missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms
control treaty.
1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed
repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope.
1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced
a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts.
1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the
British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland.
1994 U.S. President Clinton fired Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders
after learning that she had told a conference that masturbation
should be discussed in school as a part of human sexuality.
1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal
allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the
UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990.
2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after
losing $4 billion in the previos two years. It was the
sixth largest bankruptcy filing.
2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two
300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch
etchings, a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's
mother, were valued around $518,000.
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( 2.9 / 596 )
Monday, December 8, 2014, 12:10 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 8
Fantastic full moon out tonight.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman, who tasered her 3 year old nephew.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine
publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry
Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was
awarded $200,000 for emotional distress.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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In the United States there is more space where nobody is
than where anybody is. That is what makes America
what it is.
Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946),
______________________________________________________
Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a
satellite dish."
Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him."
Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you
to adjust him to get the movie channel."
______________________________________________________
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Ramona Braswell
30
St. Petersburg, Florida
Woman arrested for using stun gun on child
A St. Petersburg woman is accused of zapping her 3-year-old
nephew with a stun gun. And, her own sister called police
to report the child abuse.
Investigators say the boy had marks on his arm to prove it.
Ramona Braswell, 30, is now out of jail and she tells 10
News that she wouldn't zap her nephew with a stun gun,
she loves him.
Police say the way she showed it this weekend is criminal.
"It seems clear to the officer that she actually did
apply the charge to the child," says Mike Puetz, police
department spokesman.
It was Rodney's mom, Karen Braswell's, who called 911
and that landed her sister in lockup facing the felony
child abuse charges.
"My baby started crying, and I just wanted to know
what was wrong," says Karen Braswell on the 911 call.
The operator asks, "OK, who tased him?" "My sister,"
Karen Braswell replied.
Today, Karen Braswell had a tearful apology for her
sister, "I'm sorry, and I hope I can fix all of
this," says Karen Braswell.
To prevent Child Protection Services from removing
all of her kids, the mother and aunt are now changing
the story, however, police has seen the mark of the taser.
Tech Support Pits
From: Eloise
Re: New Skype
Dear Webby
Dear Webby,
Skype snuck in an update, even though I did not want it.
Unless somebody has a company supplied 3 foot monitor like
the overpaid and useless wackos at Microsoft, it is totally
useless. Everything is spaced out like a bunch of scattered
clouds and wasting way too much space! What are those
idiots smoking? I need to have a compact interface, so
that I can have other stuff open on the side. You can't
select compact view in the current version. What do I
do now?
Eloise
Dear Eloise
I agree, whatever they are smoking, should be made illegal.
It makes them look very incompetent.
Luckily you can go back to a previous version, before the
pufter version.
6.20.0
You don't have to un-install the pufter version,
just install 6.20.0 over top of it.
All your contacts and history will remain the same,
but you get the compact user interface back.
Somebody from Microsoft claimed on a forum that Skype
version 7 has those problems fixed, but I would wait
a week and see how much howling it causes. Traditionally
even numbered versions are a disaster and it takes a few
fixes and revisions to level that out.
.20 seems to be fine.
Personally, I won't be in a rush to try 7 until about 7.20
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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A football coach walked into the locker room before a
game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not
supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we
need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a
math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes
intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is
two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered,
"4?"
"Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he
got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began
screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Newspaper Comics for Giftwrap
I love giving gifts all year long. Years ago it hit me one
day that sometimes my wrappings cost nearly as much as the
gift itself! Now I use comics from the newspaper to wrap
my gifts. I already get the paper, so it's free! People
actually really enjoy the wrap too,
they think it's cute.:)
By melissa [40]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
I couldn't help overhearing a man on his phone.
"I know it's something you want," he said earnestly,
"but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the
same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living
in my house, I think you should respect my wishes."
I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly
firmness.
Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're
75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!"
______________________________________________________
Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his
father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and
that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very excited
and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought
about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop
tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and
was very excited.
His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the
bishops room and then say to him "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to
get up."
Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them
over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all
his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and
nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the
Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"
Today in
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American
Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to
Pennsylvania.
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus,
was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived.
1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for
the Reconstruction of the South.
1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and
became the first world heavyweight champion.
1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared
war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese
attacked Pearl Harbor. Britain and Canada also declared
war on Japan. The US had been fighting Japan in Asia for
some time and most US battleships were already in Asia
or Midway. That saved the US Navy from Japan's attack.
1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the
Chinese mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure.
1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the US.
1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union
began striking and closed nine New York City newspapers.
The strike lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963.
1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found
guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under
a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism.
1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held
the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up
with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later
he was shot to death by police.
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine
publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry
Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was
awarded $200,000 for emotional distress.
1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations'
arsenals of intermediate-range nuclear missiles.
1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians
in the Israeli-occupied territories began.
1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender
their control over the government and accept a minority role
in a coalition Cabinet.
1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet
national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to
be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act
was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional.
1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops
landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American
Free Trade Agreement.
1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but
continued to detain about 300 others.
1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the
O.J. Simpson murder trial.
1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement
that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation
would merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search
a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic
violation.
1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public.
The file contained over 1,300 pages.
1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data
networking business for $5 billion cash.
1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was
played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0.
1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther
King Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy,
not a lone assassin.
1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an
economic and political confederation.
2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins
that he planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL)
as a player at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player
in U.S. pro sports.
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( 3 / 1105 )
Associate your own sounds with events in Windows 7
Thursday, December 4, 2014, 09:34 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 4
Today I have to go to Calgary
for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Georgia man in Florida went on car jacking spree,
got beat up after crashing into gas station.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor
when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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He may be mad, but there's method in his madness.
There nearly always is method in madness.
It's what drives men mad, being methodical.
--- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
--- Abbie Hoffman
______________________________________________________
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends
when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great
relationship," the wife explained.
"He was a communications major in college and I majored in
theater arts. He communicates really well and I
just act like I'm listening!"
______________________________________________________
We have a new kid in the office named Brian. Nice guy. Fresh
out of college. So I was asking him about school the other
day and he told me he belonged to a fraternity called Delta
Upsilon.
"Did you pledge in college?" he asked.
I said, "Yeah, I belonged to 'I Tappa Kegga.'"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Victor for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Jordan Mincy
21,
Orlando, Florida
Man tried to steal three cars and
crashed into gas pump
Jordan Mincy seemed to be in a hurry — and possibly confused —
during his first botched carjacking of the night, a report shows.
"You don't know what just happened," Mincy, 21, said Thursday
to a Shell gas station security guard before jumping into her
car, police said.
After he couldn't get her car started, Mincy smoked something
for a second before running across the street to the Greyhound
Bus station, where police said he stole a car and crashed it
into gas pump, causing a fiery explosion.
Then, as his alleged crime spree proceeded, Mincy forced a man
out of his car so he could hide from Orlando police.
It took a police dog, an OPD officer and four firefighters to
take Mincy down, court records show.
It looks like the firefighters tenderized his face and
connected about half a dozen times.
Mincy, a Georgia native, was taken to Orlando Regional Medical
Center to be treated for a dog bite.
He bonded out of the Orange County Jail on Sunday.
His charges include carjacking, battery on a law-enforcement
officer, kidnapping and possession of marijuana.
Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: Assigning Sounds to events
Dear Webby
Dear Webby,
Windows7 does not have that feature,it on has sound,and when you open it all
you can get is what is programmed into the program which are terrible at
best.
daniel
Dear Daniel
yes, it does.
Try
Control panel
Sound
Sounds
select one item, then hit Browse.
You can install all your own private farts and pops and
dings and dongs. Make it easy on yourself, and put all
your intended WAV files into an easy to find folder,
for example C:\WAV
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
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A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem.
After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?"
"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician.
"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that
much!"
"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust
my fee to three hundred."
"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."
"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"
"Who has that kind of money?"
"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give
me fifty bucks and get out."
"I can give you twenty says the man. Take it or leave it."
"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come
to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no
money?"
"Listen, Doctor", says the patient, "When it comes to my
health, nothing too expensive is."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Bubble Mailer Envelopes for Breakables
Use bubble wrap for storing small breakable items. Cut
the mailer into wide strips. Place the strips in between
items as you place them in the storage box. This protects
things like china cups, ornaments, glassware or anything breakable.
By jean99 [5]
Old, cut up bed sheets work fine too.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A young mother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing
"wedding."
The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain
silent, anything you say will be held against you,
you don't have the right to have an attorney present.
You may kiss the bride. You are done!"
______________________________________________________
After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker
decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building.
When the Texan put down New York's well-known landmark
by saying "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses
bigger than that!"
The New Yorker responded, "You need them!"
Today in
1783 Gen. George Washington said farewell to his officers
at Fraunces Tavern in New York.
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower.
1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's
Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail
and fled from the U.S.
1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France
to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became
the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the
dismantling of the Works Progress Administration.
1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first
time during World War II.
1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col.
Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board.
1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter.
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor
when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered.
1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in
Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American
reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was
shot down and captured by Syria.
1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti
airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran.
Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers.
1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their
89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising.
1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of
heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt.
1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding.
1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released
after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon.
1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops
to lead a mercy mission to Somalia.
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally
adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated
1,000 people per day.
1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers
they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes.
2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist
in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists
face while pulling off the man's glasses.
2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an
ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking,
satellite service pilfering and money laundering. Some unused
satellite equipment was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs
were found.
2014 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 691 )
Assigning sounds to events
Wednesday, December 3, 2014, 10:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 3
Tomorrow, Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary
for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Illinois man, who fell through ice into Fox River
trying to escape Elgin police.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day
meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new
round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests
by various groups who had no clue, what the meeting was about
or what they were protesting against. However, they did
$2 Billion worth of damage.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
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All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
--- Socratex
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
--- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
______________________________________________________
The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group
of them got together and approached a conference of Americans,
Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter.
An American replied, "You must do something so the world will
respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and
the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans
have had respect since we helped win the World War against the
other two. See, you need to do something world-famous."
A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place
in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build,
build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it."
With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They
designed it and worked six months and finally completed it.
They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was
a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the
middle of the Sahara Desert.
An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your
reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the
desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic
spot to erect it."
The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the
Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to
dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!"
To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we
returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there
were all these Italians fishing off it."
______________________________________________________
At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older
man.
"Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is
this really a good place to live?"
"It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here
I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head.
I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had
to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Victor for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Melvin Ramsey,
20,
Elgin, Illinois
Man falls through ice into Fox River
trying to escape Elgin police
A man who was trying to evade Elgin police Sunday morning
landed in the Fox River when he tried to cross thin ice to
get to the other side, police said.
About 10:30 a.m., an officer saw the man walking near the
Chicago Street Metra train depot, 109 W. Chicago St., and
recognized him as someone who had an outstanding arrest
warrant. The officer told the man to stop, but the man took
off south running between the railroad tracks and the river,
according to a news release from the Elgin Police Department.
When more officers were called to the scene, the man,
identified as Melvin Ramsey, 20, tried to cross to the other
side on the ice of the Fox River. He almost made it to shore,
but the ice gave way and he landed in the water, police said.
Police threw rope bags to rescue Ramsey, but their rescue
attempts didn't work. An officer then retrieved a lifesaver
ring from the National Street Bridge and it was slid across
the ice to Ramsey. He then grabbed the ring, and officers
pulled him to safety, police said.
Ramsey, of the 200 block of Jewett Street in Elgin, was taken
to the hospital with minor injuries he suffered when he fell
through the ice. He was charged with misdemeanor resisting
arrest and was scheduled Monday to appear in Kane County
bond court, where he also will face several outstanding
warrant charges from previous cases, the release said.
Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: Assigning Sounds to events
Dear Webby
Dear Webby,
hello my friend,
there used to be a program that let you choose what sounds
you wanted to add to your " program events " it had
explosions,rifle shots,etc,etc,etc. do you know the name of it ?
thanks,
daniel,
Dear Daniel
Go into Control Panel
Sounds and Audio
Sounds
In there you can assign any sounds you want to any event
you want. There are tons of sounds included, and you can also
use additional ones from your own collection.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor
decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a
parishioner call the sign company.
The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he
wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway.
The sign came back a few days later. "Unto Mary Jesus was
born, six feet long and two feet wide."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Wrapping Gifts in Holiday Tablecloths
At dollar stores or shopping after the holiday clearance sales,
I try to get a couple of the decorated lightweight disposable
tablecloths and store them in my box of gift-wrapping supplies.
Many times a gift or the box that the gift comes in is too
large for the usual size bolt of wrapping paper, necessitating
piecing several pieces taped together to cover your item. I
get out my disposable table cloth, cut it to fit (I always have
a lot more left over) and tape it. The lightweight flannel-
backed cloths are also very flexible. Clear packing tape will
securely hold the wrap for the heavier weight cloths.
By Trisha from Ventura, CA
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I
gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the
famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for
Texans?"
One student's response: "Remember the alimony!"
______________________________________________________
The family had spent the day moving from their
farmhouse into a new apartment house in town.
Very early the next morning, the 5 1/2 -year-old
ran into their bedroom to wake them up.
Mom dressed him and told him to play and let them
rest for a while longer.
About 20 minutes later, he came running back."Mommy,
Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells....
and they all work!"
Today in
1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly
coeducational school of higher education in the United States.
1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance
Company issued the first fire insurance policy.
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the
Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist
Georges Claude.
1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20
years of planning and construction. The bridge suffered
partial collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11).
1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time.
1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire"
opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater.
1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House
Un-American Activities Committee announced that former
Communist spy Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of
secret documents hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm.
1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by
Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart
transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days.
1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter.
The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972.
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center removed
the respirator of Barney Clark. The retired dentist had become
the world's first recipient of a permanent artificial heart
only one day before.
1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two
White House entrances.
1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after
a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The
plant was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary.
1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna,
Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil.
1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting
her public appearances because she was tired of the media's
intrusions into her life.
1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a
cease-fire in their 18-year war.
1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release
hundreds of UN peacekeepers.
1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested
for his role in a 1979 coup.
1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented
to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of
anti-personnel land mines. The United States, China and
Russia did not sign the treaty.
1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International
Monetary Fund to bailout its economy.
1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the
Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French
Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands.
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day
meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new
round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests
by various groups who had no clue, what the meeting was about
or what they were protesting against. However, they did
$2 Billion worth of damage.
1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered
Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned.
2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after
its first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010.
2014 smiled.
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Tuesday, December 2, 2014, 12:09 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 2
Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Harvard Extension student, who fell naked through bathroom
ceiling, bit old man's ear off
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as
191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
|
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|
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a
revolutionary act.
--- George Orwell (1903 - 1950)
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
--- Benjamin Franklin:
A psychologist once said that we know little about the
conscience except that it is soluble in alcohol.
--- Thomas Blackburn
We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are."
--- Anais Nin
______________________________________________________
>From Dave
A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed
I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick
the habit?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when
I'm not feeling well."
"You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if
you were sick more often."
______________________________________________________
A very spiritual, devout and holy priest dies and
is immediately swept up to heaven.
St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates, and says,
"Hello, Father, we've been waiting for you for a
long time. Welcome to Heaven! You are very well
known here, and as a special reward, because you
are such a spiritual and holy man, we're going to
grant you anything you wish even before we enter
Heaven. What can I grant you?"
"Well", the priest says, "I've always been a great
admirer of the Virgin Mother. I've always wanted
to ask her a question."
St. Peter nods his head to one side, and lo and
behold who should approach the priest but the
Virgin Mary!
The priest is beside himself, and he manages to
say, "Mother, I have always been a great admirer
of yours, and have studied everything I could
about you and followed your life as best I could.
I have studied every painting and portrait ever
made of you, and I've noticed that you are always
portrayed with a slightly sad look on your face.
I have always, always wondered what it was that
made you sad. Would you please tell me?"
"Well", says Mother Mary, "to tell the truth, I was
really hoping for a girl."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Victor for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
You voted for WHOOOOO ??
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Cameron Shenk
26
Boston
MA
Harvard Extension student fell
naked through bathroom ceiling,
bit old man's ear off
A 26-year-old Harvard Extension School student is being
held without bail after he allegedly fell naked through
the ceiling of a women's bathroom in Boston's Logan Airport
and then bit an 84-year-old man's ear off, according to
CBS News.
A Boston man who police say fell naked through the ceiling
of a women's bathroom at Boston's airport and then assaulted
84 year old an elderly man has been ordered held without
bail pending a hearing next week.
Cameron Shenk was arraigned Wednesday on charges that include
attempted murder, assault and battery on a person over 60,
and lewd and lascivious conduct.
Police say the 26-year-old Shenk fell through the ceiling at
about noon Saturday. He had allegedly snuk into the bathroom,
undressed inside a stall and climbed into the ceiling crawl
space. Police say he then fled the bathroom and assaulted
an 84-year-old man.
Shenk's lawyer said he is a student studying economics at
Harvard Extension School and has no history of mental illness.
A hearing to determine whether he is dangerous to the public
is scheduled Monday.
Tech Support Pits
From: Chuck
Re: Camera deals
Dear Webby
Dear Webby,
Thanks for all your great advice and jokes. I remember your
suggestion to get a top of the line camera that's 1-2 years
old for finding a quality camera at a good price. I'm trying to
do that, but don't know where to start to find these old "top
of the line" cameras. Can you tell me somewhere I can start
looking. Any good suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Chuck
Dear Chuck
Try Pricegrabber
I see a mighty Canon Powershot G1-X there for $110
A few years ago the magazine reviewers, -who never had to
pay for a camera because they get all of them free to review-,
could not stop gushing about that camera.
Sure, there are some newer models now, that may or may not
offer more to a professional photographer, but the G1-X
is still just as awesome as it was when it came out.
There are lots of excellent cameras there. Pick one that
fits your budget, and you will get a great deal.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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TRICK OR TREATING BY STAR SIGN
Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.
Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.
Gemini goes around the neighbourhood once,
changes costumes and goes around again.
Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other
trick-or-treaters.
Leos plan their costume for months, then won't go out
because someone else had the same idea.
Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone
they're a bookkeeper.
Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to
decide on a costume.
Scorpio isn't in it for the candy.
Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.
Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good
candy and the optimal route to take.
Aquarius builds the costume out of spare flashlights
and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.
Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cake Mix Cookies
I love quick recipes! These have only 4 ingredients
(one of which is water) and are super fluffy. They are also lower
in fat than most cookies, as there is only 4 tablespoons of
shortening in the entire batch. I made mine with devil's food
cake mix, but will soon be trying angel food among others.
Approximate Time: 15-20 minutes
Yield: 24 cookies
Ingredients:
1 box devil's food cake mix
2 eggs
4 Tbsp shortening, melted
6 Tbsp water
Steps:
Add cake mix, 2 beaten eggs, 4 tablespoons melted shortening and
6 tablespoons water to a bowl and blend well.
Drop by large tablespoons full onto greased cookie sheets.
Bake in a 350 degree F oven for 11 minutes.
Put in hand, bring to mouth, chew. Now smile.:) Repeat.
Source: I modified a recipe from "Money Saving Recipes".
By melissa [39]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever
possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she
washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to
my father, "Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer
because I washed this dress by hand."
"Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"
______________________________________________________
The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so
hard anymore.
He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become
his apprentice.
The old fellow was impatient and exacting.
"Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill,
"Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the
forge and laid it on the anvil.
"Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my
head, hit it real good and hard."
Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship.
Today in
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral
of Notre Dame in Paris.
1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing
European expansion in the Western Hemisphere.
1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor
to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge
razor blades.
1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the
eastern front.
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile.
It was the successor to the Model T.
1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an
airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m.
1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated
by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago.
1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy
for what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate
into dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to
McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected
communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian
society.
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally
broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he
was going to lead Cuba to communism.
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as
191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY.
1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free
all-German elections since 1932.
1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive
earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. Nothing happened.
1993 Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar was shot to death by
security forces in Medellin.
1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to
fix the Hubble Space Telescope.
1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly
fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. Instead a deal was made
with GM under which the company would spend more than $51 million
on safety and research.
1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion
dollar mission intended to study the sun.
1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to
help immunize children in developing countries.
1999 The British government transferred political power over the
province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive.
2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing
came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion
buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.
2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life form.
2014 smiled.
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( 2.9 / 657 )
Can you save disk space with thumbnails?
Monday, December 1, 2014, 10:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 1
Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Some southerners asked
What is "noisy snow when walking" ?
When the temperatures are below about -25, then walking
in tracks or on packed snow produces a creaking sound
like a barn door, that has not been oiled for twenty years.
"Florida teena..." Was that a typo, or a new way to mention
a female teen?"
Sorry, just a typo for now. However, it just might catch on!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas woman arrested for $6400 sausage heist
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel
finally met under the English Channel.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear
and life stands explained.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Louis for sending this Classic:
The father, a poor farmer save every penny for years so he
could afford to send his son to a High School.
Graduation day finally came and son returned home.
A big party was held where all the neighbours from miles
were invited. When all guests settled down with a few shots of
corn whiskey, the father called for everyone’s attention.
He reminded everyone present of all the sacrifices he had made
for so many years so he could educate his only son. He then
introduced his boy as the most educated fellow in them thar hills.
Father said : Cmon son, say something real clever to these folks.
The shy young boy was embarrassed to tears and had no idea
what to say. So he said first thing that came to mind
Pi R Square.
For you old folks that's forgot that's the area of a circle.
The old man flipped a biscuit "You mean to tell me that I wasted
all that money sending you to school an yah learnt nothing.?
Everybody knows PIE ARE ROUND – CAKE ARE SQUARE
______________________________________________________
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Minnesota Fall
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Regina Shaw
45
San Antonio,
Texas
Woman arrested for $6400 sausage heist
A Texas woman was arrested yesterday for stealing more than
$6400 worth of sausage from the Kiolbassa Provision Company,
a San Antonio firm that has been smoking meat since 1949.
According to an arrest affidavit, Regina Shaw, 45, was linked
to the September 14 theft via surveillance footage that
recorded her taking a “pallet of meat product” from the
purveyor.
Shaw, who worked for the firm, was charged with felony theft
and booked into the Bexar County jail.
She was subsequently released on $5000 bond.
As detailed by a San Antonio Police Department detective,
Shaw allegedly fenced a portion of the meat through a man
who “purchased some boxes of Kiolbassa sausage” from her.
The man later accepted “more Kiolbassa” in payment for a
loan that he had given Shaw.
During a police photo lineup last month, the man, identified
as Peter Medellin, picked out Shaw “as the female that he
purchased the meat product from.”
The police affidavit does not list the total weight of the
purloined sausage, nor how Shaw made her getaway with
the meat.
Seen in the above mug shot, Shaw was fired from her job
with the Kiolbassa Provision Company, which sells a wide
variety of sausages, including an “all-Pork Chorizo” and
“Beef & Cheddar Smoked Sausage.”
Tech Support Pits
From: Carolyn
Re: Thumbnails to save disk space
Dear Webby
Dear Webby
I have heard that it takes a lot of space on my computer to
have pictures of family and friends in folders and that I
should make thumbnails instead. Is this true?
Thanks. I enjoy your Humor Letter very much.
Carolyn
Dear Carolyn
Whoever told you that nonsense, should be put on a strict
diet of Smarties, and should not allowed out of the funny
farm without competent supervision.
There is probably a lot of useless stuff on your computer,
that can be dumped, and replaced if needed.
However, pictures of your friends and family can not be replaced.
They have more rights to be on your computer and on your
back-up than ANY of the replaceable crap.
Especially silly games that can be downloaded again.
You can always get a second hard drive cheap.
But pictures of friends and relatives are not replaceable.
How many of the people at the last family reunion are still
alive?
I make thumbnails IN ADDITION to the regular size pictures,
to make menuing and sorting easier, but I never reduce good
pictures to thumbnail size without keeping them in original
or at least regular size.
You can at any time shrink pictures, but you can not expand
them without making them look awful. When you click through
the thumbnail for the daily picture, you get to the separate
full size picture, not a zoomed view of the thumbnail.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number
at 4 A.M. It could be a right number.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Acorn Cookies
These simple acorn cookies are a great treat for a fall
party.
Approximate Time: 15 minutes
Ingredients:
1 package mini Nutter Butter cookies
1 package Hershey's Kisses
1/2 cup Wilton decorator icing
mini chocolate chips
brown icing color
Steps:
I chose to sort through the Nutter Butters and remove ones
that were no longer sandwiches. (I didn't waste them though
...I ate them!)
Color your icing to the desired shade of brown. Then place
it into a sandwich bag and snip off one corner, to make a
piping bag. Pipe a blob onto one side of the cookie, then
press a Kiss onto the cookie.
Then turn the cookie over and place a tiny dot of icing onto
the center of the cookie. Press a mini chocolate chip into
the icing.
By lalala... [519]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or
whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer:
1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time.
2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing.
3. I said it was a good idea all along
______________________________________________________
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true,"
she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be
taken for the rest of my life"?
Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This
prescription is marked "NO REFILLS"
Today in
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of
fairy tales.
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line
that ushered in the era of mass production.
1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened,
in Pittsburgh, PA.
1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between WWI
protagonists, setting the causes for WWII.
1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was
assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters.
1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April
1943 the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction
of the Army Air Forces.
1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect.
1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful sex-change
operation had been performed.
1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused
to give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested marking
a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S.
1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty
that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would
be free from military activity.
1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began.
1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since
World War II.
1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately
crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame
fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing.
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan said he would welcome an
investigation of the Iran-Contra affair if it were
recommended by the Justice Department.
1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts
to help build a space station. The companies were Boeing
Aerospace, G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas
Aeronautics, and Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International.
1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an
unsuccessful coup against Corazon Aquino's government.
1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's
constitutional guarantee of supremacy.
1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving
the Persian Gulf crisis.
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel
finally met under the English Channel.
1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from
the Soviet Union.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment
attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress.
1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the
124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade.
1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion
creating the largest company in the world to date.
2014 smiled.
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( 3.1 / 698 )
Saturday, November 29, 2014, 03:43 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 29
I find it hilarious that the White House now gets hysterical
about too much Ozone. Not too long ago, they w ere getting
hysterical about the Freon in your fridge killing the Ozone
and letting Canadians getting a sun tan without flying to
Hawaii or Florida.
This time the turncoats won't bother with your fridge, they
want to shut down coal fired power plants and make you turn
off your furnace.
Again, there is no hard proof that the powerplants are
competing with volcanoes or wildfires, just a consensus
of grant recipients.
Ozone is O3, Oxygen with an extra atom. Free Oxygen is O2,
but when you have very energetic combustion or chaotic plasma
like in a welding arc or lightning, some of those O2 molecules
get ripped apart and are now desperate for mating. They will
latch onto anything, even an O2 molecule, and turn it into O3.
O3 is what you smell when you enter a welding shop, aside from
the smoke of the electrodes. In concentrated form, and excluding
regular air, it could kill you, but as you can tell from
Millions of old welders, it may lead to consumption of beer,
but is otherwise harmless.
O3 sooner or later decays and gives it's extra Oxygen atom to
something else, for example to iron. Yes, it WILL rust your
chastity belt if you live next door to a coal fired powerplant!
If power plant ozone was really a problem, it could be reduced
by simply turning down the forced air. However, the powerplants
prefer a bit of measurable Ozone, than to allow incomplete
combustion, which would produce potentially carcinogenic
compounds. They sure don't want to get yelled at about those!
So they crank the air to ensure total and complete combustion.
Sure, at a few of the older powerplants, some ash is not
filtered out of the smoke stack. That ash is mostly metals
and minerals, the stuff you pay good money for in your
supplements.
As a photographer, I am against coal fired and all for
clean nuclear powerplants, and always have been.
I find it hilarious that the White House has suddenly seen
the light and is now against coal, annoying the coal miner's
unions, that helped get Obama into the White House.
Typical California wildfires:
California
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania woman, who stabbed her boyfriend for starting
to eat the Thanksgiving dinner, wheile she was passed out.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company
he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer
language for the Altair.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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In order to do what really matters to you, you have to,
first of all, know what really matters to you."
--- Dr. Edward Hallowell:
______________________________________________________
A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and
when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying.
"What's the matter child?" he asks.
"Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry
me because I'm Roman Catholic."
"There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him
the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and
the rites. That'll bring him around."
Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it.
About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts
into tears when he asks how she is doing.
"Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks.
"Yes, Father."
"Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?"
"Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem.
He was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest."
______________________________________________________
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he
had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what
he should do next.
His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and
on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the
next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to
see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was
a complete disaster."
His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?"
And the young man said, "Oh, she came over,
but she can't cook either!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dad for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
EarlyChristmasCacti-11-28-2014
They are crowding him off his breakfast table!
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Jack-Lyn Blake
47
Wilkes-Barre
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania woman, 47, stabbed boyfriend
for starting thanksgiving dinner without her
Incensed that her boyfriend began eating their Thanksgiving
dinner while she was asleep following a day of drinking, a
Pennsylvania woman grabbed a knife and stabbed the man after
chasing him around the dining room table, cops report.
Jack-Lyn Blake, 47, is locked up in the Luzerne County jail
on an assortment of criminal charges, including aggravated
assault with a deadly weapon, reckless endangerment, and
making terroristic threats.
According to Wilkes-Barre police, officers responded
yesterday to Blake’s residence around 6:30 PM after
receiving a 911 call about a stabbing. When they arrived
at the home, Blake, who was exiting the residence,
announced, “I stabbed him.”
Further investigation revealed that Blake’s beau,
Benjamin Smith, had been stabbed in the chest. Smith,
who was pressing a towel to his wound when police arrived,
was later treated at a local hospital for the non-life-
threatening injury.
Smith told officers that he had argued earlier in the
day with Blake, who was reportedly intoxicated and had
gone upstairs to sleep. While Blake (seen in the above
mug shot) snoozed, Smith began Thanksgiving dinner
without her.
When Blake awoke to discover that the festivities had
commenced in her absence, things got bloody.
Cops charge that she grabbed a knife and chased Smith
around the dinner table. After dodging several stabbing
attempts, Smith got knifed by Blake (who also threw
the weapon at Smith, striking him in the face).
Tech Support Pits
From: Fred
Re: Fwd.:Be Aware
Dear Webby
Please read this. It is no joke. Here is the e-mail I was sent:
Dear Friends: I know not all of you are women that I am
sending this to, but am hoping you will share this with
your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, etc. Our world
seems to be getting crazier by the day. Pipe bombs in
mail boxes and sickos in parking lots with perfume. Be
careful. I was approached yesterday afternoon around
5:30 PM in the Wal-Mart parking lot by two men asking
what kind of perfume I ..........
Dear Fred
Forget it. That is an ancient hoax. You can read up on it.
There is no gas that is so potent that it can knock you out
with just the tiny amount that can be put into a stack of
scratch cards.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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This cowboy was out looking for a job one day.
He stopped at a ranchers house to ask the rancher
for a job.
This rancher looks over the cowboy and thinks to
himself, "Waal, he looks ok, 10 gallon hat, denim
shirt, denim pants but he's wearing tennis shoes.
Guess I'll see what he can do."
So the rancher tells the cowboy.
"OK, let's see what you can do. Go rope that calf
over there and brand it."
The cowboy has the calf branded before the little
doggie knows what hit him.
Well, the rancher is a bit impressed but still not too
sure so he gives him another test.
"Now break that there bronc", he points to a wild
looking stallion in a corral.
This cowboy saddles, and rides the bronc, wildest
ride you've ever seen. After 5 minutes the bronc is
so tired he settles down and the cowboy hand the
rancher a tame horse.
This rancher is IMPRESSED now.
"OK, son you got the job. There's just one question
I gotta ask you.
You rope and ride real well and you look mostly like
a cowboy except for them tennis shoes. Why don't
you wear cowboy boots instead of tennis shoes?"
The cowboy looks the rancher in the eye and says,
"I would wear cowboy boots, but then people would
think I was a trucker!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Eggs from Boiling Water
I have a plastic, long-handled pasta scoop with a hole in
the bottom of its bowl and serrated edge. After eggs are
boiled, use the scoop to remove them from the pot,
eliminating risk of burn because of scalding water,
or dropped eggs. For those of you who color Easter
eggs, it is a "must."
Source: No; my own discovery.
By Cay from FL [1]
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Boudreaux and Rodrigue are out in one of Louisiana's
Cajun country swamps when Rodrigue falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled
back in his head.
Boudreaux takes out his cell phone and calls 911 for help.
"My friend is dead. He jus' pass out. What can I do?"
The operator says in a calm soothing voice, "Just take it easy.
I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a long silence, then the operator hears a shot.
Boudreaux's voice comes back on the line.
"Okay," he says. "Now what?"
______________________________________________________
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the
first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real
mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before
she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and
dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders
cleaning up that horse manure, I'll eat every chunk of
it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want
ketchup on that?"
The Salesman says, "why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the
electricity turned on yet."
Today in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a
militia led by Colonel John Chivington killed at least 400
peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered
and had been given permission to camp.
1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first
Army-Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY.
1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the
rotary dial.
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by
U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd.
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior
to a Soviet attack.
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic
proclaimed.
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called
for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews.
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S.
with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth
twice before landing off Puerto Rico.
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and
7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes
after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed.
The crash was the worst in Canada's history.
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican
Army became effective.
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company
he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer
language for the Altair.
1981 Actress Natalie Wood drowned in a boating accident off
Santa Catalina Island, CA, at the age 43.
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union
should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan.
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115
people aboard.
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been
holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention
Center in Oakdale, LA.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal
defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail
to preserve potentially vital evidence.
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the
party's 40-year monopoly on power.
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military
action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and
release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991.
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a
dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5.
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its
airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin
demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war.
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen
Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the
massacre of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first
international war crimes sentence since World War II.
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing
heroin and other narcotics.
2004 The French government announced plans to build the
Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot
museum was the planned home for 500-600 works from the
Louvre's reserves.
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( 3 / 450 )
Change Windows 7 icon text
Friday, November 28, 2014, 12:31 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you, Nancy!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh woman, who took swig of vodka
during DUI stop
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean
after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named
after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
--- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
______________________________________________________
Two Jews had businesses on the same street. One had customers
coming and going and the other, well, maybe two or three a day. Finally,
Morris, whose business was doing badly, decided to visit Shapiro, who
was doing very well. Going in the door, he saw a large banner over the
entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE."
Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of business, since
he seemed to be doing so well. Shapiro confided, "That sign has been
in my window for almost 18 years. If I took it down, I would go out
of business."
______________________________________________________
Sometimes you will cry, and no one will see your tears
Sometimes you will laugh, and no one will see you smile
Sometimes you will fear, and no one will see you shudder
Sometimes you will fall, and no one sees you struggle
Sometimes you will be late, and no one seems to notice
But fart just one time
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Massachusetts Fall
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Frances Riney
66
of Port St. Lucie
Floriduh
Woman took swig of vodka
during DUI stop
Looks like she had her drivers license, registration
and 100% proof insurance.
When a deputy asked a driver, identified as Frances Riney,
of Port St. Lucie, for her driver’s license, she handed
him a bag of chips, records show.
In Riney's second attempt to hand over her license, she
handed the deputy water and then took a swig of vodka from
a bottle, deputies said.
Riney allegedly then told the deputy she'd had enough booze
and was driving home.
I haven't got the details yet, but I have a hunch the
deputies disagreed with the driving part of that statement.
The mug shot appears to be from a previous incident.
Tech Support Pits
From: Christine
Re: Change Icon text but nothing else
Dear Webby
You taught me once how to do this on Windows 98,
and I remembered it for XP, but for Windows 7
it seems I need different cusswords.
Why?
And how do I get around the limpwristed faggy Aero fading
nonsense, that is just wasting time and does NOT belong
onto a working machine?
Is it time to step up to Linux?
Christine
Dear Christine
Why? W7 was mostly done in Asia by people, who could not
get into the US to become 7-11 staffers.
They screwed up the user interface, but lucky for you and
me, they missed one of the many themes.
Right-click on the desktop
Personalize
Go way down to Windows 7 Basic
Select that to get away from the thilly fading
Then go a bit further down
And then click on
Window Color
Yeah, right, as intuitive as a Taliban trying to fake blonde logic!
However, inside that is the old Windows 95 TweakUI, 98, XP
personalization, that they somehow forgot to screw up!
There you can set the color of your top bars to green
fading to blue for active, and wine fading to gray for inactive,
just like you had since Windows 95, and you can set Icons,
icon text fonts, sizes, colors, and all the customizations
you are used to.
When done, save it as a theme with your name.
Whether it is time to step up to Linux, that depends on you.
Don't do it alone!
First lurk on Linux forums and gradually get to know some
people. Some are smart-ass kids, but most are friendly and
helpful. Latch on to one and discuss migrating to Linux.
With a friendly "Godfather" helping you, it will be a
breeze.
If you still have your old XP, that would make it a lot easier.
Even a 12 year old XP will be twice as fast as a brand new W7
or W8 computer. With Linux it will be more than good enough.
Then you can network them and transfer files, and gradually
migrate to Linux.
That eliminates the fear, that you might be in a new operating
system and not able to get forgotten files.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their
mid-term exam.
The last question was, "Name seven advantages of
Mother's Milk,"
worth 70 points or none at all.
One student , in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote:
1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It is always the right temperature.
4.) It is inexpensive.
5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6.) It is always available as needed.
And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just
before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...
7.) It comes in cute containers.
He got an A
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
New Year, New Calendar
>From Cindy
How reliable is that Mymemorizer, that you praised so highly?
Cindy
Dear Cindy
I have used it probably about 15 years, and it has never
malfunctioned. You can access it from different devices,
and you can even tell it to send the reminders as txt to
your phone.
You can use different colors for different doctors or family
members, and there are probably some features, that I have
not come across yet. There is some help and manual, but so
far I have not needed them.
Try it, it's free anyway!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A customer was so infatuated with his waitress he decided to
ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention.
When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.
Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her.
With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation.
To his amazement, she readily consented.
He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served
me? You wouldn't even make eye contact."
"Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."
______________________________________________________
Lost Gas Cap
Daniel filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station.
After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the
gas cap on top of his car.
He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.
Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must
have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to
look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his
own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.
Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap.
He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," Daniel thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another
one that fits.
"And this one's even better because it locks!"
Today in
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean
after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named
after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east.
1582 - William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married.
1922 - Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public
exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA.
Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square.
1925 - The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM.
1942 - 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove
in Boston.
1953 - New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a strike
of photoengravers.
1958 - The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic
within the French community.
1963 - U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral
would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated
predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in
1973 by a vote of residents.
1964 - The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape
Canaveral on a course set for Mars.
1978 - The Iranian government banned religious marches.
1979 - An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole
crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard.
1983 - The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab
in its cargo bay.
1987 - A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian
Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed.
1990 - Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain.
1992 - In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen
attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20.
1994 - Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to
death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate.
1994 - Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership.
1995 - U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that
ended the federal 55 mph speed limit.
2010 - WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S.
diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or
"confidential."
2014 smiled.
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Thursday, November 27, 2014, 12:56 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 27
Happy Thanksgiving Day, if you are in the USA!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Illinois crook, who faked a 911 call
to avoid traffic ticket
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at
the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
--- Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)
______________________________________________________
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women
in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining.
The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too
hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being
cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps
we can come back tomorrow."
"We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted.
"We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we
can´t kiss the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss
someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same
good fortune."
"And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.
"No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!"
______________________________________________________
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the
anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their
operations to help them relax. One day he thought he
recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital
where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that
his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the
food still as bad there as it used to be?"
"Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Old ice Pond, Maine
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Jose Navarro Jr.
also known as
Jorge Navarro Jr.
23,
Oak Lawn,
Illinois.
Jose Navarro Jr. Faked 911
Call To Avoid Traffic Ticket
Nobody likes getting a traffic ticket, but calling in a
fake shooting is not a way to get out of it.
But that was the method Jose Navarro, Jr., allegedly used
early Sunday morning after being pulled over by police
in Oak Lawn, Illinois.
Police said that during the traffic stop Navarro called 911
and falsely reported hearing eight gunshots. He also claimed
that a man had been shot and was lying on the ground a few
blocks away from where the police had stopped him, the
Chicago Tribune reports.
The idea, according to police, is that the officers who had
pulled over Navarro would leave him to respond to the more
serious call.
It sort of worked: Several officers did drive to the scene
with their emergency lights on, only to discover it was
bogus, according to RedEye Chicago.
Police then asked Navarro about the shooting and he allegedly
admitted making it up to avoid getting traffic tickets,
Patch Illinois reports.
Navarro was arrested on a variety of charges including a
felony charge for the made-up 911 call. He was also cited
for illegal transportation of an open alcohol container,
speeding, no seat belt, driving without lights and improper
lane usage.
He was ordered held on $50,000 bail on Sunday.
The gang membership tattoo on his neck probably did not make
the cops any more friendly than they were.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jerry
Re: Is CrapCleaner safe
Hi...
I sent you an E-Mail last week and did'nt recive any reply...
So, Guess I'll thy again... Can you tell me anything about the
CrapCleaner... I've downloaded it,from your site here...but I don't
want to use it unless I know its safe... Well it delete my files and/or
programs that are on my Desktop ???
Thank You for any info...
--- Jerry ---
Dear Jerry
Crap Cleaner is perfectly safe.
It will just delete useless crap.
If you are using cookies to sign in at the bank and
places like that, take the checkmark off the cookies.
Then it will leave those alone.
It will show you first what it has found that is useless
crap. You can look that over and un-check stuff if you
think you might need.
CrapCleaner will remember your preferences and next time not
suggest anything that you had unchecked the last time.
Quite often, if your machine slows down and gets close to stalling,
running CrapCleaner will get things moving again and speed up
the machine.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were
talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior
officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the
conversation and offered the following advice:
"You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he
said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
New Year, New Calendar
As 2015 quickly approaches, I purchase a new calendar and
write down all the birthdays of people I want to send a
card/give a gift to. I use the 2014 calendar and go month
by month to do that.
For other appointments and important dates that I need to
remember throughout the year, I purchase a small pack of
sticky notes and I write just the appointment time and
doctor's name or whatever on the sticky note and then I
put it on the corresponding date of the appointment.
For example,
Dr Smith 2:45PM and I put the sticky note on the date
i.e. January 13th. Dinner with Connie 6:00PM at Forrester's
etc. etc. That way, if I have to change the appointment
time, I don't have to scratch it off. I just move the
sticky note and write the new time down, if necessary.
That way, my calendar stays fairly neat looking without
ink scratched off all over the place.
There are a lot of sticky notes per pad and they are
fairly inexpensive.
Source: A co-worker from a long time ago
By Kathy [57]
Just get MyMemorizer from
http://mymemorizer.com
It is free and sends emails to you at intervals prior to
the event, that YOU set, for example, 1 day before, 2,3,5 days,
1 week, 2, 3 weeks, 1 month before, etc.
Plus it has a high visibility calendar that you can flip
from month to month.
Quite civilized, and free!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the
phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the
girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was
appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is
on the right.
"So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said.
"My appendix is on the wrong side."
______________________________________________________
Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald.
Ticket Agent, Searching Book: "Norwald? Let me find that.
Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald.
I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map.
Just where is Norwald, anyway?"
Man: "Over there. He's my brother-in-law."
Today in
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an
automobile through Central Park in New York City.
1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC.
1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened.
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at
the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest.
1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice
president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew.
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor
Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside
City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor.
1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines
Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid.
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish
accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of
British-ruled Northern Ireland.
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian
jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's
international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug
traffickers.
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow
President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months.
2014 smiled.
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Wednesday, November 26, 2014, 11:18 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 26
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Dopey Pennsylvania burglar found
sleeping in school, with dope.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II
had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal
income. She also took her children off the public payroll.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and
won't change the subject.
--- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
The only people who find what they are looking for in life
are the fault finders.
--- Foster's Law
______________________________________________________
A salesman attending a meeting on the coast was held up when
a severe storm and a flood washed out the local airport. He
wired his office: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions."
His boss wired back: "We'll answer your calls. Your vacation
has been approved to start immediately."
______________________________________________________
Upon retiring from the service, Don, needed a new
ID card showing he had gone from active duty to retirement status.
But the photo taken of him was not particularly good and he wasn't
at all quiet about it.
"If I have to carry that ID around with me for the rest of my life," he
complained to the photographer, "I want a better picture."
"Want a better picture?" asked the photographer defiantly.
"Then bring us a better face!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Ouachita River in Louisiana
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
John-Paul Sabara,
35,
Middletown, PA
Dopey burglar found
sleeping in school, with dope
Police outside Philadelphia say they found a man
sleeping in a school hallway with a glass smoking
pipe and a bag of synthetic marijuana marked
"Scooby Snax."
The Bucks County Courier Times reports police discovered
John-Paul Sabara inside the Tawanka Learning Center in
Lower Southampton around 3:20 a.m. Monday after spotting
a bicycle parked outside the building.
Police say the 35-year-old Middletown man growled, made
strange sounds and acted aggressively toward officers
trying to wake him. Police said Sabara also had a
cellphone, memory cards and children's sneakers.
He was arraigned on charges included criminal
trespassing and drug possession and jailed in lieu
of 10 percent of $500,000 bail.
Sabara has previously served time for assault, burglary
and firearm convictions.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jorge
Re: Audio driver
Hi Dear Webby,
Working a problem with an installation of a Zoiper.com soft
phone to use on my sonetel.com International phone setup.
Installation program/diagnostics tell me that it is not
finding my headset (earphones, microphone). I am trying to
find out why and get this setup working.
Activated, and ran my old inactive copy of DriverUpdate.net
- got the latest update. Ran it and it tells me that there
are 16 drivers either out-of-date or missing. Will cost me
$30 to renew for another year.
Was wondering if you had a favorite driver updater? Would
rather seek your advice and buy through you than take a
chance with this unknown. (Also their terms and conditions
allow them a lot of leeway to bombard me with additional
offers from them and all their friends/cousins/etc.!)
Checked your list but didn't see any driver-updaters listed....
Am downloading a copy of Audacity to use it to see if my
audio settings will work for it... test my Win 7 32 bit PC
with something simpler than Zoiper...
What say you, Sage of Alberta? What would you suggest?
Kindest personal regards,
Jorge
Dear Jorge
That is crooked bullshit.
You can get free drivers from the manufacturer,
IF you need them,
AND
for headsets you don't need any drivers. They just plug
into the green socket for the earphones and the pink
socket for the microphone.
There is no software involved.
Straight electrical.
If you use a microphone older than you are, and speakers
also older thna you are, they use the same audio drivers
as the most modern headsets from Japan.
Keep in mind, the Tooth fairie did not install new transistors
into your audio amplifier while you were sleeping. There is NO
change there, and the driver, that worked, when you bought
your computer, still works.
If your sockets are not damaged from throwing stuff onto the
plugged in plugs, the speakers and the microphone work.
It makes NO difference if you use a separate microphone or a
mike on a head set. It is just electrical, not soft.
Anybody telling you something different, is a crooked liar.
Tell them to go ......... and to stick their phony driver
updates where the sun don't shine!
If you are worried your sockets have been damaged, try
"Echo" on Skype.
It will echo back to you what you have said.
And yes, Audacity will be a good test too. It shows you
a graph of the microphone input, and when you play it back,
if you can't hear it, then your speaker socket is damaged.
(Or the speakers are not powered. They need to be plugged in!)
If the sockets are damaged, then you need to fix or replace
them, and all the software updates in the world are not going
to help there.
If you are concerned about your audio drivers, get the
Belarc Advisor from my tool box and see what kind of audio
hardware you got installed. Then check if that company has a
new driver. If they do, it will be free.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was
going home early because she didn't feel well.
Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he
wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something
he had given her.
A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not.
She has morning sickness."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Turkey Breasts
If you don't feel up to baking a whole turkey, the turkey
breasts are a great option. They take much less time to
thaw, give you lots of good breast meat and even have a
gravy packet inside to help. If it is the day before
Thanksgiving, unless you buy a fresh turkey, this may
be your only option.
Susan from ThriftyFun
RIP
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Men are good for only one thing!
Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother
to complain.
Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all
the time.
"Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!"
"Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel
park?"
______________________________________________________
"Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced
into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly
what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,"
he said at length, "I've just three things to tell
you."
"First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds.
Second, you should use about one tenth as
much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist -
the doctor's office is on the next floor...."
Today in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on
display in Boston, MA.
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe
the adoption of the Constitution of the United States.
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City.
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car.
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed
in Montreal, Canada.
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King
Tutankhamen.
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to
live within a walled ghetto.
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill
establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving
Day. In 1939 Roosevelt had signed a bill that changed the
celebration of Thanksgiving to the third Thursday of November.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide
gasoline rationing to begin December 1.
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere
at the Hollywood Theater in New York City.
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a
guided missile. The German missile attack led to the death
of 1,015 U.S. troops.
1949 India's Constituent Assembly adopted the country's
constitution The country became republic within the British
Commonwealth two months later.
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to retreat.
1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL
career goal.
1965 France became the third country to enter space when it launched
its first satellite the Diamant-A.
1973 Rose Mary Woods, told a federal court that she was responsible
for the 18-1/2 minute gap in a key Watergate tape. Woods was U.S.
President Nixon's personal secretary.
1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury in
Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford
on September 5.
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China
after a 21-year absence.
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was
robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth
nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been
recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist.
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired
by Random House for $3,000,000.
1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed by
former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National Security
Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair.
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser
Arafat, who was seeking permission to travel to New York
to address the U.N. General Assembly.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi
Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand
that Iraq withdraw from Kuwait.
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire
MCA Inc. for $6.6 billion.
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II
had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal
income. She also took her children off the public payroll.
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn
borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned.
1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions at
the State Department for the first time.
1998 British Prime Minister Tony Blair made a speech to the
Irish Parliament. It was a first time event for a
British Prime Minister.
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling
and would run for president in 2000.
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured
Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be
policed to put to rest suspicions that the country had a
weapons agenda.
2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched
from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover
Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012.
2014 smiled.
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Restore lost desktop icons
Tuesday, November 25, 2014, 09:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 25
Thank you, Sig!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh man accused of almost running
down deputy in Kohl's parking lot
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and
Germany, was signed. The US started preparing for WWII
and Ford started building bombers.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Only the shallow know themselves.
--- Oscar Wilde
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
--- Mark Twain
______________________________________________________
A little Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the
first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move
apart and back together again. The boy asked his father.
"What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded "Son,
I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't
know what it is".
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and
pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled
between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small
circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse
direction.
The walls opened up again, and a beautiful 24 year-old
woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young
woman, said quietly "Son, go get your Mother."
______________________________________________________
Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith
went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early
the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's
bedside table that said, "Wake me at six."
An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning
and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his
bedside table:
"It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Janina for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Dear Webby, Thank you for always sharing such good advice
and humor to bring a smile to so many of us! Our temps are
already 65f this morning - I know it's the jolt of warmth
before the predicted Nor'easter comes through with winds,
rains and snow on Wednesday and Thanksgiving.
Just sharing a photo I was able to take of this Hawk visiting
my area this morning. I heard a commotion of birds shrills
outside, grabbed my camera and found this in the tree.
Beautiful creature, don't you agree?!
Janina from NJ
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Alexander Ruff,
Viera, Floriduh
Floriduh man accused of almost running
down deputy in Kohl's parking lot
VIERA, Fla. Authorities in Brevard County are throwing the
book at a man suspected of trying to run down an officer
Alexander Ruff was wanted for stealing from a Kohl's
Department Store in Viera on Monday, but now he's facing
much more serious charges.
Ruff is charged with aggravated assault on a law
enforcement officer, fleeing and eluding, reckless
driving, grand theft and more.
A loss-prevention officer said he spotted Ruff stealing
and called a deputy. In the parking lot of the store,
the deputy injured his ankle as he dived away from Ruff's
fleeing car.
A chase ensued and covered about 14 miles to Cox Road
in Cocoa.
In court, prosecutors referred to Ruff's arrest record,
which includes drug possession, credit card fraud, grand
theft and dealing in stolen property.
"He was originally placed on probation in these two cases
in April of this year. Within a month he had violated,"
said prosecutor Gary Beatty.
Ruff is being held without bail.
Tech Support Pits
From: Leesa
Re: Lost desktop icons
Hi Dear Webby,
Greetings to you this fine morning. Hope all goes well
in your world. I am stumped, and hope you can help me
with this. Over the years the desktop icons and the
Start Menu links to several games have been deleted.
The games are still on the computer...see them in there
when I did a Search...but I haven't a clue how to get
them set up on the desktop and/or Start Menu so they
can be played. Can't uninstall them because there is no
way I could ever get them back. They were downloaded
after purchase from various companies. I do have the
registration codes for most of them.
Your help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks a bunch.
Havin' fun now
Leesa
Dear Leesa
Yeah, Windows does loose desktop icons,
especially if you change resolutions.
1) Search the games,
2) right-click
3) Make Desktop Shortcut
4) Drag the shortcut to the desktop.
5) Make a desktop folder and call it Games
6) Repeat steps 1,2,3,4
Drag the second icon into the Games folder.
Now, the next time Windows looses it's marbles,
you can simply CTRL-drag an icon from the
Games folder onto the desktop.
CTRL-drag will put a copy onto the desktop,
without deleting the one in the Games folder.
Windows will probably complain, that there is
already one of those, even though it is not visible.
Tell it to go ahead anyway. It may add [2] to the name
of it, but that's OK. It will work just fine.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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|
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Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his
sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom.
Just point it at the enemy, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang.'"
"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible)
recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and
attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this ... just go, 'Stabity
Stab Stab.'"
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom.
Suddenly, an enemy soldier charges at him. The recruit points the
broom.
"Bangety Bang Bang!" The enemy falls dead.
More enemies appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes
"Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the
dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one enemy soldier
walking slowly toward him.
"Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The enemy keeps coming.
"Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets
desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use.
The enemy keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground,
mumbling "Tankety Tank Tank."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Litter Box Cover
I have a large Rubbermaid-type storage container covering
my kitty's litter box in my storage room. She used to kick
litter all over the place. Now I have much less to sweep up,
plus it looks much more pleasant for company.
Turn the container upside-down and cut a doghouse-style
opening in either the broad side or the end. Having the
opening on the end will make an even more enclosed and
private litter box. Use either a box cutter or strong shears,
but be careful the plastic can be very tough.
Once you've cut the opening, lay the lid on the floor. Place
the box on top of it and snap the inverted container back on
the lid. It only takes a few dollars and a few minutes to make
a piece of furniture that is completely washable and will last
practically forever.
By Abigail A. [3]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife
was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought
he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy
that even the urinals were made of gold."
She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar.
"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My
husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I
have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?"
To which she heard the bartender said,
"Hey, Clarence, I think we found the drunk who peed
into your tuba!"
______________________________________________________
"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice.
Would you please do my homework for me?"
The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at
least give it a try, couldn't you?"
Today in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be
granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian
corn.
1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured
Fort Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh.
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated
New York. New York was their last military position in
the U.S.
1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom.
1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in
exchange for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public
debts and settle border disputes.
1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite.
1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk.
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and
Germany, was signed. The US started preparing for WWII.
1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to
blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier
and jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to
cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee.
1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in
military coup.
1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against
the Detroit Lions.
1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a
cease-fire in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon.
1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese
revealed that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had
been diverted to rebels in Nicaragua. National Security
Advisor John Poindexter resigned and Oliver North was fired.
1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election.
1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into
separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993.
1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt
on his life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants
near his motorcade.
1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator
Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain,
could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he
committed during his rule.
1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit
to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II.
1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5 billion
bailout for Pakistan.
2014 smiled.
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She can't get Actioncat cards
Monday, November 24, 2014, 11:57 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 24
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texan Bonehead, who Assaulted Girlfriend in
Hospital Before Biting Security Guard
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their
purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed and
shelved Netscape and used Microsoft Internet Explorer
instead of Netscape. There were no more updates or
support for Netscape after AOL bought and killed it.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
--- Arthur Miller
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty
loses interest in students.
--- John Ciardi
______________________________________________________
There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it
______________________________________________________
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit
filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing
from the section through which the railroad passed. The
rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of
the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the
rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The
lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher
agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the
check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little
over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate
to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there.
I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep
and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went
through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness
to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller,
I was a little worried about winning that case myself,
because that durned bull came home this morning."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Kentucky Fall
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Matthew Johnson,
23
Corpus Christie
Texas
Texan Bonehead Assaulted Girlfriend in
Hospital Before Biting Security Guard
A man in Corpus Christi, Texas, is behind bars after allegedly
assaulting his girlfriend in a hospital while she was
recovering from giving birth.
The suspect, Matthew Johnson, 23, is also accused of biting a
security guard who tried to remove him from Christus Spohn
Hospital South.
The alleged attack happened Tuesday after his 25-year-old
girlfriend went to the nursery to see her child.
When she returned, Johnson allegedly accused her of
sleeping with hospital staff members and began punching
her in the back of the head, according to KIII TV.
Hospital staff and two security guards heard the ruckus
and tried to remove Johnson from the premises, KZTV
reports.
The suspect allegedly refused and during an ensuing scuffle,
police said Johnson bit a 56-year-old security guard on the
thigh, breaking skin, according to the Corpus Christi Caller
Times.
Johnson was arrested for family violence assault
and assault of a security officer, a third-degree felony.
He was jailed in lieu of $11,000 bail.
Tech Support Pits
From: Courtenay
Re: Can't get Actioncat.com cards
Dear Webby!
Hi again. I used Actioncat many times in the past with
no problem with my yahoo account. Tonight I sent on from
my gmail address to a gmail address and still nothing.
There is no way to contact the person running the site...
do you think it's more a website issue or still an
email issue?
Sent from my iPhone
Dear Courtenay
Meow! For Tester only!
Tester sent you a postcard from Action Cat.
To pick it up, just click on the link below:
http://actioncat.com/platinum/ActionCatcard.cgi?1123233611044532
It works fine for me.
Maybe your phone thinks you are a yahoo,
or maybe you logged onto the net via Yahoo.
Actioncat sends out the card pick-up notices to
whatever you specified as the recipient address.
Actioncat does not care what you specified.
If there is any censoring, it is at the recipient end.
Some days, when the card sending is hectic,
it may take up to ten minutes until your card
pick-up notice arrives, but it WILL arrive,
unless there is censoring at your end.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A wealthy executive boarded a New York to Chicago train.
He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want
you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in
Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get
off in Buffalo."
The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was
furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful
before hustling off to purchase a return ticket.
After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you
stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?"
"That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard
the guy I kicked out in Buffalo!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Bagel Slicer for Vegetables
I constantly need to slice veggies like zucchini, eggplant
and onions thinly for recipes and to dehydrate.
Finally today I realized I could use the bagel slicer I
received as a gift (and that I use so rarely) for this
project too and make it more multifunctional!
It held the onion firmly enough to get some great slices
without any 'slips'!
Just thought it might benefit my friends who may also
have trouble slicing safely and thinly!
:D
By Donna [168]
Look for a Borner V-Slicer. They are like a "Mandolin",
but the blades are in V formation. With that you can slice
veggies as thin as paper or about 3/16" thick (about the
same as with your bagel slicer). The veggies or fruit are
held by a computer mouse size grip to keep your hands safe,
and you just slide the mouse back and forth in the tray.
Works very fast! You can also cut tomatoes or potatoes
or fruit into into cubes. I have used them since the
70's. The blades last about 15 years with heavy use.
A paper thin slice of hot, red onion will do wonders for
any hamburger or sandwich, and few people can figure out
why it tastes so fresh and refreshing.
This is not an ad. I just love my V-Slicer.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
The mother of a problem child was advised by a
psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about
your son. I suggest tranquilizers used regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the
tranquilizers worked?"
"Yes" the mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" he asked.
"Who cares?" she replied.
______________________________________________________
Anna gets on an airplane and sits down in the first
class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to
economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket.
Anna replies, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good
job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the
woman to leave and she says, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart,
I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we
reach Jamaica."
The stewardesses don't know what to do because they
have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off,
so they get the co-pilot.
The co-pilot goes up to Anna and whispers in her ear.
She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the
economy section.
The head stewardess asked the co-pilot what he said to
get her to move.
The co-pilot replied, "My wife has the same hair color.
I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going
to Jamaica".
Today in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They
were both 14 years old.
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published
"On the Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he
explained his theory of evolution through the process of
natural selection.
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain
began in Tennessee.
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed
fencing material.
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric
self-starter for an automobile.
1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland
after they had staged a bloody riot. Over the next three
years the population dropped from 350,000 to 70,000 due
to starvation, disease and deportations to concentration
camps.
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese
capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers.
1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress
for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist
influence in their industry.
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee
Harvey Oswald live on national television.
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing
an end to the second manned mission to the moon.
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted
from a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with
$200,000 in ransom.
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six
Israeli prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500
Palestinians and Lebanese held by the Israelis.
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian
jetliner. 60 people died in the raid.
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short-
and medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower
treaty to eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons.
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned
after more than a week of protests against its policies.
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141.
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the
Brady handgun control bill.
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old)
were convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of
Liverpool, England. They were both sentenced to
"indefinite detention". and released after five years.
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a
constitutional amendment legalizing divorce.
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their
purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed and
shelved Netscape and used Microsoft Internet Explorer
instead of Netscape. There were no more updates or
support for Netscape after AOL bought and killed it.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 679 )
Sunday, November 23, 2014, 10:35 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 23
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh drunk who expected service at a Taco Bell
after 3 am, and then grabbed a cop.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco,
at the Palais Royale Saloon.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
|
 |
|
|
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
--- Ken Hakuta
We don't bother much about dress and manners in England,
because as a nation we don't dress well
and we've no manners.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
______________________________________________________
Kyle and Justin were sitting down to eat their supper
with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle
saw the baby sitter sit down in his daddy's seat.
"You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Kyle exclaimed.
"Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly.
"Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone,
I can sit here. Today I'm the boss."
Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up,
"If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's
chair!"
______________________________________________________
Harold the Computer Guy
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer
guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired,
"An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote it down.
I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
KansasS600 Fall
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Gabriel Harris,
33
New Smyrna Beach,
Floriduh
Floriduh drunk who expected
service at a Taco Bell after 3 am,
and then grabbed a cop.
A drunken New Smyrna Beach bicyclist whose drive-through
order at Taco Bell was rejected because he was too late
and because he wasn't in a car, refused to leave the
restaurant area and then tussled with police, according
to an arrest report.
Gabriel Harris, 33, was charged with resisting an officer
with violence in the late-night incident and was out of
the Volusia County Branch Jail on $1,000 bail, records show.
According to the report, Taco Bell workers called police
at 3:10 a.m. Sunday after Harris and a woman, both
intoxicated, would not leave the restaurant area at
1860 State Road 44 in New Smyrna Beach.
Police found Harris on a bicycle by the menu speaker, a
report states.
Aron Tobler, the employee, said he refused service to
Harris and Sarah Haliburton because “they placed an order
on bicycles” in the drive through window, the report
states. Orders have to be placed at the menu speaker,
not at the pick-up window, and before closing time.
Haliburton was not charged.
Police said Harris got to the restaurant after it closed
at 3 a.m.
As police were asking Harris to leave, they spotted a red
Swiss Army knife on Harris' belt loop and tried to reach
for it. Harris grabbed the officer's wrist and Harris was
promptly wrestled to the ground and handcuffed. Harris
suffered a scraped forehead from that, police said.
Tech Support Pits
From: Cherie
Re: McAfee remover
Dear Webby!
Dear Webby,
I hve noticed that on your website you have a link to get rid of Norton....
do you have one to get rid of Mcafee Security Center???
Cherie
Dear Cherie
Unlike Norton, McAfee can be cleanly UNinstalled from the
Control Panel, Add/Remove Programs.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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>From Ben
A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed
in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English
so that I could at least get around. But I found that many
people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket
inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted
cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just
nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.
When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the
compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German.
"No," I confessed.
"Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid
when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in
the wrong direction, and that there was no scheduled stop
for another hour."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Litter Box Tending Easier
Get 4 or 5 litter boxes of the same size. Fill each one
with a few inches of litter, or however much you use.
Stack one on top of another. My cat can jump into the
top box. When it's time to change the litter just remove
the top most box. I use inexpensive plastic "busing"
tubs that I get from a webrestaurant supply store.
They are 7 inches high, less than four dollars each
and stack-able. If you put enough litter in each box
and dispose of it before any moisture gets to the
bottom of pan, you can just pour the used litter out
and the bottom of the pan will be clean. I use wood
stove pellets for litter.
By jean99 [5]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite.
Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him
sobbing.
"What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father.
Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said
he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home,
but I want to stay with you guys instead!"
______________________________________________________
A teacher announced that to practice spelling, each
member of the class would say what their father did
for a living an then spell the occupation. A girl named
Mary went first. "My dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if
he were here, he would give each of us a cookie."
Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker,b-a-n-k-e-r,
and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter."
Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician. But after
struggling through a number of attempts to spell the
word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for
a moment while she called on someone else. She then
turned to little Johnny.
"My dad is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if
he were here, he'd lay you 8-to-5 that Jimmy ain't never
gonna spell electrician!"
Today in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act.
1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing
machine.
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco,
at the Palais Royale Saloon.
1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands
at the age of 10 when her father William III died.
1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of
Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central
Pacific offensive in the Gilbert Islands.
1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended.
1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens.
1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital
from Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo.
1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United
Nations Security Council.
1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life
imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten.
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed
in a series of earthquakes.
1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West
Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International
Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva.
1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested
and accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a
year after his conviction.
1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens
to Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta.
1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League
(NHL) goal.
1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she
had witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two
other people at the Jose Simeon Canas University in
El Salvador, was flown to the U.S.
1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were
killed in a stampede after Indian police baton-charged
tribal protesters in the western city of Nagpur.
1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen
Electra. The two had been married on November 14, 1998.
1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil
settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve
remaining state claims for treating sick smokers.
1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's
effort to block pornography on library computer calling
the attempt unconstitutional.
2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island.
2014 smiled.
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( 3 / 939 )
Saturday, November 22, 2014, 10:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 22
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NJ woman fighting crosswalk ticket,
saying she was scared of the padded duck.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in
a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally
was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson
was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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A writer is a person for whom writing is more
difficult than it is for other people.
--- Thomas Mann (1875 - 1955)
The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope
over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of
stupidity.
-- Lydia (on my 4th)
______________________________________________________
One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's
Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests
near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made
some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about
the conditions we might run into, we drove on.
Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain
Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles
farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one
was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile.
We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery,
and it read: "Ice 75 cents."
______________________________________________________
>From Laura
When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite
friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who
had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed,
with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship
might be a possibility between us.
"So what changed your mind?" I asked him.
"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age
difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He
looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone
who's 104?'"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Indiana Fall
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Karen Haigh
River Edge, Fort Lee
NJ
Woman fighting crosswalk ticket,
saying she was scared of the padded duck.
Police in New Jersey used an undercover cop dressed in a
Donald Duck costume to bust dozens of drivers for failing
to yield to a pedestrian on Halloween.
There are new traffic problems in Fort Lee — motorists who
don’t yield to Donald Duck.
Police in the New Jersey town used an undercover officer,
dressed in a Donald Duck costume, to bust dozens of drivers
for failing to yield to a pedestrian on Halloween.
The costumed cop was hard to miss — the costume made the
officers wearing it seem like they were 6-foot-4. Whenever
Donald Duck stepped into a crosswalk and a motorist did
not stop, uniformed cops pulled them over down the road
and gave them a moving violation carrying a $230 fine,
ABC News reported. Plus 2 points on their license.
The cop was well padded in the high visibility duck costume
to reduce injuries, when drivers did not stop, and was more
than obvious enough, so that nobody could claim, they did
not see him.
One bimbo complained, that she was scared of the big duck!
“They told me I was getting a ticket for not stopping for
a duck,” motorist Karen Haigh told the TV station. “But
it scared me. I’m a woman. This huge duck scared me.”
Let's hope she will be charged with attempted murder!
They need a cop dressed as a granny or grampa,
and swinging a lead pipe to take out those expensive
headlights, to mark the perps. Then painted fishlips
won't have an excuse.
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Chrome Update
Dear Webby!
Dear Webby,
Need you help once again. This morning McAfee advised of
updates and one of those was for Chrome. The Chrome
update needed to be accomplished directly from Chrome.
I've attempted to download but once it shows the completion
of the download it goes to the page screen printed below
and I do not know what to do next.
Chrome's site is not much help.
Hence, I defer to you.
Frank
Dear Frank
I use the "Downloads Button" from
http://singleclickapps.com/downloads-app/
It shows in the left lower corner what has been downloaded.
So I hit that and get the request to RUN the update.
Without that button, you have to find where the update
got saved to.
In my case, that is in
E:\Tools\Chrome
but only you know where you saved it to on your machine.
If you can't find it easily, just download it again,
and this time park it in an easy to find spot.
You might want to start some organization, like I do with
E:\Tools\Chrome
E:\Tools\FireFox
E:\Tools\McAfee
E:\Tools\RoboForm
etc.,
and always save stuff where it belongs.
Makes life a lot easier than having to search for it.
You CAN search for "ChromeSetup.exe" or "ChromeSetup",
and double-click that, when you find it.
That will work too.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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Wilbur got a job on the railways as a steward. For the
first day he accompanied another steward to learn the
ropes. "It's very simple," said his tutor, "Just use diplomacy."
"What's diplomacy?" asked Wilbur.
"Watch me I'll show you". Off they went down the train
corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with
special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the tutor
steward flung open one door he was confronted with a
buck naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he
asked "Tea or coffee, sir?"
The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut
the door.
"Wow, did you see that cutie!" Wilbur said excitedly.
"She had no clothes on. But hey, why did you call her sir?"
"That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her".
Wilbur was most impressed with his teacher.
The next day, on his own now, he flung open a door to a
compartment and found a couple making love on the bed.
"Tea or coffee, sir?"
"Tea" the man replied.
"And for your brother?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Your Own Funnel
Need a funnel in a pinch? Cut off the bottom of a 2 liter
or 1/2 liter bottle. This works great, and only costs 10
cents (which is the deposit price in Michigan). You can
make it as tall or short as you want.
By melmarr from Michigan
Gallon jugs with the nice and
convenient handle work very well too, especially for making
a funnel to top off the motor oil or windshield washer
fluid. Put the funnel, that you use for motor oil, into
an empty shopping bag, so that it does not attract dust.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dave for ths story:
The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject
of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers
would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were
concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge
when you should feed them because they were always grazing.
A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for
judging the true hunger of teenagers.
"I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if
they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were
hungry enough to be fed."
______________________________________________________
Co-workers sympathized as Ellie complained that
her back was really sore from moving furniture.
"Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone
asked.
"I could," Ellie told the group," but the couch is easier
to move when he's not on it."
Today in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland
for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire.
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was
killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina.
British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed
him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times.
1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated
in New Jersey.
1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood
shafts in golf clubs.
1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed
publicly.
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda,
CA, when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for
Manila. The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail.
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began.
1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in
Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating Japan.
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in
a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally
was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson
was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President.
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American
travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963.
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of
Gen. Francisco Franco.
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid
$4 million for the broadcast rights.
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between
New York and Europe.
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S.
nuclear missiles in West Germany.
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States.
It was the largest swearing-in ceremony.
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential
area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians.
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world
heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old.
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less
than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded
next to his motorcade in West Beirut.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and his wife, Barbara
shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia.
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American
Free Trade Agreement.
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a
gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and
the gunman were killed in the gun battle.
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire
in response to a retaliatory air strikes by NATO.
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving
lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient.
Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for
second-degree murder.
2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor.
2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur
skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah.
2014 smiled.
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Pictures not showing in Gmail
Friday, November 21, 2014, 10:26 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 21
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman charged with child abuse
after mixing in at a girl fight
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out
"who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas.
Kristin was the character that fired the gun.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife
I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
______________________________________________________
A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new
Hemingway Hall.
"It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway."
"Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway.
No relation."
"Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?"
"Yes, indeed. He wrote a check."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dianne for this story:
Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Sawtooth Mountains, Idaho
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Patria Delois Holman,
39,
Fort Walton Beach,
Floriduh
Woman charged with child abuse
after mixing in at a girl fight
FORT WALTON BEACH - A 39-year-old Fort Walton Beach woman
is charged with participating in a fight between teenage
girls in front of a drug store.
Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies were called for a large
crowd of juveniles fighting in the parking lot of CVS,
according to the arrest report.
One of the participants said she and her cousins were at
McDonalds when another woman and her daughters pulled up
at CVS. An argument started in the parking lot, after
which a fight broke out, the report said. One of the
youths said she heard Patria Delois Holman screaming,
“send her to the hospital,” encouraging one of the girls
to continue striking another.
While one of the girls was “on the ground,” Holman
“kicked (the victim) in the face and in the stomach,”
according to the report. A witness reported seeing Holman
kick the girl and yell encouragement at another girl.
Holman said she went to the Beal Parkway pharmacy to pick
up medicine when a group of girls began taunting a relative,
the report said. Holman told deputies that she was just
“a mother” who didn’t want to see a child hurt and that
the “situation is terrible.”
She denied striking anyone, according to the report.
The girl had injuries to her face, arm and leg.
Holman is charged with child abuse without great bodily
harm and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Her next scheduled court date is Dec. 16.
Most courts frown upon anyone mixing into a fight in
progress and participating. It will be interesting to see
what the results will be.
Tech Support Pits
From: Patti
Re: No pictures in gmail
Dear Webby!
Dear Webby,
I just switched from corecomm webmail to Gmail. Only problem,
the graphics don't come through.Only the semaphone flag as
shown above.
having fun,
Patti
Dear Patti
The pictures DO come through, it's just that you have them turned
off in the quickie-preview.
The Web page on-line Quickie preview in gmail is just that,
a preview, to sneak a peek at your mail at the cyber cafe at
lunch or while away from your main machine. Once back at
work or at home, wherever your main machine is, you haul
your mail down with Eudora, Thunderbird, Outlook, whatever.
To speed things up at the cybercafe, the sneak preview has
the pictures turned off by default. You CAN turn them on easily
enough after a bit of hunting around in the options.
They change the ways for turning the pictures on quite often,
but usually you can get at that by right-clicking the icon
for the hidden pictures.
Gmail is an excellent program, and it is great at what it does,
but it is not intended to be the final sorting and filing program.
Eudora, Thunderbird, Outlook, whatever, do that.
If you don't bother sorting mail into different boxes and just want
to use Gmail as your one and only mail program, spend half an
hour customizing it to your liking, and turn the pictures on at the
same time.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said,
"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked,
"How is that gonna help?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Double Up Flat Pillows
Pillows, we all know, are costly but here is a tip to to
stretch dollars for those buying new pillows. What I do
when they go flat is to put two flat pillows in my pillow
shams to have a nice plump sham. I even will use two in
regular pillow covers for a nice big pillow, made out of
two tired old flat ones.
By Leigh H. [1]
You can plump up flat pillows by putting a squirt of hair
conditioner into the final rinse when washing them. Then
dry them with a tennis ball in the dryer, or on the line,
when the moon goes over high up, not near the horizon.
It makes no difference how much of the moon you see, just
where it goes over, high or low.
That makes a huge difference with feather pillows, but is
quite noticeable too with shredded foam pillows.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
>From Robert
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had
died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry
to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife
to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our
second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use
it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her
that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it
needed to be pushed at least 30mph for it to start.
She said "fine!" hopped into her car and drove off.
I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.
A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view
mirror coming at me at about 40 mph, I suddenly realized
that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions...
______________________________________________________
It has been proven that Adam was a Mennonite.
Only a Mennonite man could stand in front of a naked
woman and be tempted by an apple.
Today in
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship
discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on Dec 26, 1620.
1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon.
The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent,
Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5½ miles over Paris.
1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter.
1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph.
1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit.
1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened.
1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced that
"Piltdown Man" was a hoax.
1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures
against Cuba.
1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by
a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans.
1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out
"who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas.
Kristin was the character that fired the gun.
1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino
in Las Vegas, NV.
1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay
Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for Israel.
He was later sentenced to life in prison.
1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale,
LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages.
1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were
televised live for the first time.
1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused
to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual
advances toward 10 women in past years.
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making the
District of Columbia the 51st state.
1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia
that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian
"safe area" of Bihac.
1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast
at a test site in the South Pacific.
1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned
space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight.
2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to
keep the presidential recounts going.
2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers,
software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the
poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part
of a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust
lawsuits.
2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania,
Slovakia and Slovenia to become members.
2014 smiled.
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Thursday, November 20, 2014, 11:28 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 20
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Nazis in Germany, that were
tricked into marching and fund raising for Anti-Nazis.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC. Since
Princess Diana was the darling of British media, Charles
was blamed for that.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
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If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
--- Donald H. Rumsfeld (1932 - )
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Connie for this story:
My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple
of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his
buddy, though.
"Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three
times, stay where we are, and someone will find us."
They shot in the air three times, but no one came.
After a while, they tried it again.
Still no response.
When they decided to try once more, Bubba said,
"It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows."
______________________________________________________
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean
as much to you as pearls do to us."
"Yes, they do, brave oyster wrestler!"
______________________________________________________
GROAN ALERT
One day in the forest, three animals were discussing
who among them was the most powerful.
"I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop
down swiftly at my prey."
"That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only
fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws."
"I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because
with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you."
Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the
forest and settled the debate by eating them all. . . .
hawk, lion, and stinker.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jean for sending this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Japanese Maple
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
NeoNazis in Germany
Neo-Nazis tricked into
marching and Fundraising for Anti-Nazis
Neo-Nazis were tricked into raising money for an
Anti-Nazi charity through their annual march in
a small town in Germany.
Neo-Nazis were tricked into raising money for an anti-Nazi
charity through their annual march in a small town in Germany.
Supporters of Hitler's Third Reich march through Wunsiedel -
the burial site of Rudolf Hess - every November to mark
National Heroes' Remembrance Day.
But this year, campaign group Right against Right convinced
residents to donate 10 euro to a charity that helps people
leave extremist groups for each metre the neo-Nazis marched.
Villagers even put up motivational signs along the route,
and showered the neo-Nazis with confetti when they finished.
And they set up a stall providing snacks for the walkers
under the banner 'Mein Mampf' - which translates as 'My Fight'.
"It was an absolute success," Inge Schuster, spokesman for
the mayor of Wunsiedel, told The Local online newspaper.
"It created something positive out of the march, including
the 10,000 euro donation for EXIT-Deutschland."
A Right Against Right spokesman said residents were sick of
the sight of Neo-Nazis walking through their community
each year.
"We could not stop them - but we could make them walk for
something meaningful: and that is how for the first time
a right-wing memorial march became a charity walk -
without the participants knowing," he said.
The Neo-Nazis, who fight against illegal Muslim immigrants,
thought "Exit Deutschland" was about getting illegal
Muslim immigrants out, not getting nazis out.
"For every metre they walked, 10 euros went to
EXIT-Deutschland - a Nazi opt-out programme. The result:
10,000 euros and lots of surprised right-wing extremists."
Details and pictures
Tech Support Pits
From: --
Re: No question
Dear Webby!
Dear webby ,
no question
--
Dear --
No answer
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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>From Bonnie
It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me
flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy
Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled
with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It read
"Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Homemade Household Cleaner
This is the best all-purpose household cleaner I know of.
I make a batch and put it in an old spray bottle that once
held a commercial cleaner. I keep the extra in an old
gallon sized vinegar bottle.
Ingredients
1 gallon water
1 cup ammonia (not the sudsy kind)
1 cup white vinegar
1 cup washing soda
Directions
Mix the ingredients until dissolved. You may want to
test it on painted surfaces before using. I've never had
it fade any paint, but you never know.
By Copasetic 1 from North Royalton, OH
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the
secret I told you not to tell her."
"Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone", I told her not to tell you
I told her."
"Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that
she told me".
______________________________________________________
We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother
had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier
over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a
spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look
up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too
tired to clean!"
"Don't look where?" my brother asked.
"There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!"
Today in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent
of Spain.
1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and
Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary.
1901 The second Hay-Pauncefoot Treaty provided for
construction of the Panama Canal by the U.S.
1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out
in Mexico.
1929 The radio program "The Rise of the Goldbergs," later
known as "The Goldbergs," made its debut on the NBC Blue
Network.
1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing
on Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands.
1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war
crimes tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany.
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten,
Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey.
1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark
and Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed
its missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its
blockade of the island.
1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million.
1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential
use of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the
substance.
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to address Israel's parliament.
1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be
the cause of the event that took 31 lives.
1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National Council.
1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms.
1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops
into the country of Kuwait.
1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England.
1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA.
1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in
Zambia to end 19 years of war.
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC. Since
Princess Diana was the darling of british media, Charles
was blamed for that.
1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden
safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of
orchestrating two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later
terrorist attacks on New York City and the Pentagon.
1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry
also agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes.
2001 The U.S. Justice Department headquarters building was
renamed the Robert F. Kennedy building by President
George W. Bush. The event was held on what would have been
Kennedy's 76th birthday.
2014 smiled.
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Problem with mail from Yahoo groups
Wednesday, November 19, 2014, 11:52 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 19
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida dope for backing into opposing taffic and
almost ramming a deputy.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service
on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
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Television has raised writing to a new low.
--- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere,
may be happy.
--- H. L. Mencken
______________________________________________________
Three convicts were on the way to prison.
They were each allowed to take one item with them to
help them occupy their time while stuck behind bars.
On the bus, one convict turned to another and said,
"So, what did you bring?"
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and
stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He
wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail".
Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and
grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker,
solitaire and gin, and any number of games."
The third convict was sitting quietly aside grinning to
himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are
you so smug? What did you bring?"
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. "I
brought these."
The other two were puzzled and asked - "What can you do
with those?"
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well
according to the box, I can go horseback riding,
swimming, roller-skating..."
______________________________________________________
**Diary Of A Regular Joe**
For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week
of private lessons at the local health club.
Though still in great shape from when I was on the
varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a
good idea to go ahead and try it.
I called and made reservations with someone named
Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics
instructor and athletic clothing model.
My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was
to get started.
They suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my
progress:
Day 1.
Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but
worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya
was waiting for me.
She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a
dazzling white smile.
She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five
minutes on the treadmill.
She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I
think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers
added about ten points.
Enjoyed watching the aerobics class.
Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though
my gut was already aching a little from holding it in
the whole time I was talking to her.
This is going to be GREAT!
Day 2.
Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but
I made it.
Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron
bar up into the air.
Then, she put weights on it, for heaven's sake!
Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made
it the full mile.
Her smile made it all worth while.
Muscles ALL feel GREAT.
Day 3.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the
tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and
forth over it.
I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both
pectorals.
Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer.
I parked on top of a Volkswagen.
Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my
screaming was bothering the other club members.
The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster.
Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
activity rendered obsolete by the invention of
elevators?
Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live
longer.
I can't imagine anything worse.
Day 4.
Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a
full snarl.
I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me
that long just to tie my shoes.
She wanted me to lift dumbbells.
Not a chance, Tanya.
The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason.
I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for
me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine...
It sank.
Day 5.
I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated
any other human being in the history of the world.
If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I
would hit her with it.
She thought it would be a good idea to work on my
triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't HAVE triceps.
And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me
any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the
damage.
YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame.
The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher,
which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been
someone softer, like a music teacher, or social
studies?
Day 6.
Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering
where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched
eleven straight hours of the weather channel.
Day 7.
Well, that's the week.
Thank goodness that's over.
Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little
more fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal.
______________________________________________________
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
And why not?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache next morning."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jean for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Gapstow Bridge, New York, USA
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Kyndric Wilson, 23, Mary Esther, Floriduh
Driver nearly collided with deputy;
jailed on drug charges
A 23-year-old Mary Esther man was arrested on drug charges
after allegedly backing up against traffic, nearly colliding
with a deputy.
The Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy was doing traffic
enforcement on Hickory Street in Niceville on Nov. 8,
according to the arrest report. He saw a vehicle driven
by Kyndric Dallas Wilson backing up “in the opposite
direction of traffic onto Range Road,” requiring the
deputy to brake to prevent a collision.
The deputy pulled Wilson over, and smelled marijuana
coming from inside the vehicle, the report said. When
asked about the marijuana, Wilson pulled out a small
bud from the door and a glass jar with 23.5 grams of
marijuana from the back seat.
Wilson was arrested and a search found five rocks of
crack cocaine in the vehicle, according to the report.
He is charged with possession of cocaine and possession
of more than 20 grams of marijuana.
His next scheduled court date is Dec. 16.
Tech Support Pits
From: Richb70
Re: Yahoo malfunction
Dear Webby!
Dear webby ,
not to be a bother but I'm having trouble receiving my
emails from other groups, I looked thru my yahoo addy and
it says my account has been suspended? And I don't know
why or how, I've talked to comcast about it and they said I
needed to reset my pw but that doesn't seem to work and I
have no idea what to do, any ideas or thots you can give?
I would appreciated it. Even tho I reset my pw its still
telling me that my acct is still suspened , this is the
first time this has ever happened and I don't know what
or why its doing it..
Tyvm I still receive reg emails not group emails, I find
it kind or weird that this is just started happening
Richb
Dear Richb70
That is normal and to be expected from Yahoo.
They do that to all the yahoos every now and then, for no
apparent reason. Just routine Yahoo malfunction.
You can try screeching a temper tantrum at Yahoo support,
sometimes that helps.
I am a member of the "Freecycle" group, a clean and well
behaved group with a very low volume of mail, but half the
time it does not work either. Since the group organizers
refuse to move away from Yahoo, there is nothing anybody
can do about it. Except laugh at the thilly yahoos.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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>From Edsel
Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning
routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had
time to stop for a take-out coffee.
I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had
not only left it running but had locked it!
The day was going from bad to worse.
I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to
the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom.
I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back
door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the
clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..."
"I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can
unlock my van with a broom."
"No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on
inside out."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Remedies for Athlete's Foot
To treat fungus on feet, soak feet in white vinegar for
at least 20 minutes each time. Continue three days in a
row and the fungus should be done.
By duckie-do from Cortez, CORemedies for Athlete's Foot
Rubbing the feet, especially
between toes and on toenails with freshly cut potato
pieces 2 - 3 times a day is also said to be effective,
if you don't have any vinegar in the house.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
>From Barb
I know my company has made a big effort to be family
friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday an-
nouncement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees
are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children
under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa.
Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren."
______________________________________________________
Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58
years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for
companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied
what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a
park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked
graciously, "Pardon me, ma'am, but may I sit here with you."
The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking
white-haired gentleman and replied, "Why certainly," and scooted over gently
to give him room to sit down.
For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They
discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same
big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had long happy
marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed
about almost everything.
Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, "Ma' am,
may I ask you two questions?"
With great anticipation Marcia replied, "Why certainly!"
The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it
out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and
looked her softly in the eyes.
"Marcia, I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but we
have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life.
Will you marry me and be my wife?"
Marcia grabbed at Jimmie's hands and said, "Why, yes, I will marry you!
You have made me so very happy!"
She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said,
"You said you had two questions to ask me.
What is the second question?"
Jimmie scratched his neck and said, "Will you help me get up?"
Today in
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War.
1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in
Madison, NJ.
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address
as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil
War battlefield in Pennsylvania.
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in
the Sunday New York World.
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E.
Blaisdell.
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with
a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority
was needed for ratification.
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the
first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito.
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their
winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front.
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service
on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production
of the unpopular Edsel.
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon.
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria.
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit.
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil.
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia.
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey.
It was only the second known case where all seven were born
alive.
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began.
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard"
sold at auction for more than $71 million.
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank
off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons
of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed
about 150 miles out to sea.
2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security
at 424 airports nationwide.
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( 3 / 1777 )
Tuesday, November 18, 2014, 09:44 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 18
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Balloon-wielding man busted after rampage
at Fort Pierce auto dealer
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt...
Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt,
except themselves.
--- Robert Anton Wilson
______________________________________________________
An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on
her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight
was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her
because she was less than perfect. So, she came up with a
plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly.
She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet
from her front porch.
When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were
talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and
asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"
Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a
thing."
"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up,
ran toward the tree,
and collided with a cow.
______________________________________________________
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool,
I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.
"Is that your grandmother?" I asked.
"Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."
"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go
out there and get her."
______________________________________________________
Marge was telling her friend Grace how she
gets her son out of bed in the morning.
"I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed.
He sleeps with his dog."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jean for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Tearoom in Llanrwst, North Wales
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
James Touchstone, 48, Fort Pierce, Florida
Balloon-wielding man
busted after rampage at Fort
Pierce auto dealer
A man accused of running around a car dealership with balloons
after downing a bottle of booze and possibly chasing people
with a machete was arrested, according to statements in a
recently released arrest affidavit.
The case against James Touchstone, 48, began about 5:45 p.m.
as a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputy went to the listed
address of a Kia dealership on South U.S. 1 to help with an
impaired driver, the affidavit states.
The deputy spotted a Kia Sorrento with a damaged fender in
the parking lot. The doors were open and an empty bottle of
Seagram’s gin was on the floorboard.
Touchstone, who smelled of booze, was in custody outside
another deputy’s vehicle “yelling profanities and attempting
to flee,” the affidavit states.
Touchstone yelled that he’d imbibed “a bottle of alcohol
but has been off crack for three years,” the affidavit
states.
Meanwhile, witnesses said Touchstone pulled in the parking
lot and started cursing and throwing things at customers
and staff members.
“He then ran across the street to (another) dealership,
grabbed some balloons, returned and started to run around
the parking lot with the balloons in hand while yelling at
anyone he came in contact with,” the affidavit states.
After Touchstone, listed as a “violent felony offender of
special concern,” was put in the back of a patrol car, he
kicked out the rear passenger window.
A passenger in Touchstone’s vehicle told investigators that
Touchstone hit a light pole in a parking lot in the area of
Avenue M and North 13th Street. That person also said
Touchstone got a machete and chased people at a gas station.
Touchstone, of Wilton Manors, was arrested on charges
including criminal mischief, DUI, driving while license
suspended, habitual offender and resist officer without much
violence.
Tech Support Pits
From: Dianne
Re: Get rid of static
Dear Webby!
DearWebby
tell ur readers that if they ad a table spoon to their
water bucker or whatever they use to mop floors, to ad
some liquid fabric softner to prevent shocks.
Dianne
Dear Dianne
That is an easy enough remedy and well worth trying,
if somebody gets shocks.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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The physics professor, checking to see how many people had
actually read the assignment, asked
"What are the two types of light?"
The lab fell quiet until a small voice came from the back of the room,
"Uhhh, Bud and Coors?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tip: Use Scrubbing Bubbles for Hard Water Spots
My husband read so many solutions on removing hard water
spots on windows, but nothing ever worked for him. The
windshield on our motor home was so stained from the water
that would run down it, that we tried everything on the
market just like so many others. We bought so many products
from acid wash, scrub with SOS, to Comet.
I always use Scrubbing Bubbles for everything in my house.
I told my husband for so long to try Scrubbing Bubbles but
he always told me, "No that isn't going to work", until
one day when he was frantic, he did try Scrubbing Bubbles
along with extra fine steel wool. He couldn't believe his
eyes. The glass is crystal clear and just like new. Now
he won't use anything else just like I won't use any other
product except for Scrubbing Bubbles inside.
So every one who is at their worst with hard water spots
please use this product. It really does work. I know this
sounds like a infomercial, just try for yourself.
Scrubbing Bubbles Fan!
By Peewee the Cat and Family from San Bernardino
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A man was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the
newspaper during breakfast. He came across an article about
a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player,
who was known primarily for his lack of brains and common
sense.
He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face
and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the
most attractive wives"
His wife said, "Why, thank you, dear!"
______________________________________________________
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats,
a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells
your fortune and weight. He dropped in a coin and eagerly
read the results.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small,
white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful
and an absolutely fantastic lover."
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too.
Looks like you picked up the card from the previous user."
Today in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England.
1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to sight
the continent of Antarctica.
1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the
New York "Saturday Press."
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones.
1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S.
rights to build the Panama Canal.
1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force
in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France.
The offensive began on July 1, 1916.
1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie,"
starring Mickey Mouse.
1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco.
1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against
eating meat on Fridays.
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and
Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second
manned mission to the moon.
1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established
a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship.
1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium
for use in nuclear weapons.
1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion.
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill.
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients.
1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution.
1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion.
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( 3.1 / 296 )
Keyboard in the dishwasher
Monday, November 17, 2014, 12:43 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Nonday, November 17
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Robber pretends to be
witness after pizza heist
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule.
The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own
children have teenagers of their own.
--- Doug Larson
You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.
--- Senator Patrick Leahy
______________________________________________________
Elementary Science
Some of these are too good to ignore.
*Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun.
But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
*We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation.
Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget
to put the top on.
*Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around.
And around. There is not much else to do up there.
*Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big
enough to be called a drop, it does.
*Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
*In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
*A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
*A monsoon is a French gentleman.
*Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
*It is so hot in some places that the people there have
to live in other places.
*The wind is like the air, only pushier.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
The woman applying for the job in a Florida lemon grove
seemed way too qualified for the job.
"Look miss," said the foreman. "Do you have any experience
in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied.
"I've been divorced three times."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Vicky for this story:
A young Jewish mom walks her son to the school bus corner
on his first day of kindergarten.
"Behave, my bubaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself
and think about your Mother, tataleh!"
"And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh."
"Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!"
At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs
to her son on and hugs him.
"So tell mommy. . . what did my pupaleh learn on his first day
of school?"
The boy answers, "I've learned that my name is Melvin."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jean for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Rosy Maple Moth
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Joseph Wantz
26
West Boca,
Floriduh
Robber pretends to be
witness after pizza heist
Pizza delivery man robbed at gunpoint in West Boca
West Boca man accused of robbing a pizza delivery man tried
to come forward as a witness and accused his cousin of being
the robber, according to a Palm Beach County sheriff's
arrest report.
Joseph Wantz, 26, faces charges of robbery and aggravated
assault with a firearm after the robbery on Tuesday.
The Pizza Hut delivery man of two years said he went to a
home in the 11000 block of Watergate Circle on 10:30 p.m.
after getting an order for $107 worth of pizza, bread
sticks and soda.
The caller said the food was for a party and then another
phone call from another number had a woman asking the
driver to bring cash for change, according to the report.
But when the driver got there, he told a deputy he grew
suspicious when he saw no cluster of cars for a party.
That's when Wantz put a gun to the delivery man's head
and demanded all the money and food before walking away,
according to the report.
A deputy said he learned two people had stepped forward as
witnesses. One of them was Wantz, who told the deputies he
saw the robbery and that his cousin did it, according to
the report.
As deputies, they got a call on Wednesday about a disturbance
between Wantz and another man at a residence. Inside the
home, deputies said they saw two empty pizza boxes in the
trash.
After the delivery man identified Wantz in a photo lineup as
the robber, investigators questioned a friend of Wantz's.
She said Wantz came up to her at about 1 a.m. Wednesday
and showed her a gun and told her he did a "lick," or
robbery.
Deputies said the gun later was found to be a BB gun.
When deputies questioned Wantz, he implicated his cousin
in the robbery, the report said. He said his cousin
looked similar to him. He went on to say he wasn't
"the only one going down for this," according to the
report.
Wantz was booked into Palm Beach County Jail, where he
is held without bail.
Tech Support Pits
From: Vince
Re: Keyboard in the dishwasher
Dear Webby!
My wife put my fashionably dirty keyboard into the dishwasher.
It looks great now, but is it safe to plug in again?
Vince
Dear Vince
Most modern keyboards can handle that without any problem.
Take the screws off the back and take the back off, and
let it dry half a day face-up and half a day face-down.
After that, attach the back cover again and try it.
Most likely it will work just fine.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left.
Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Problems with Fabric Dryer Sheets
I bought a new dryer and continued using those fabric
dryer sheets. This dryer would kick off with the clothes
not dry. I was thinking the timer was bad so called out a
repairman. He changed the sensor in the dryer and told us
those "dryer sheets" had coated it, causing a false signal
that turned off the dryer. He told us to stop using them.
Now we only use liquid with our wash and no more trouble.
By Kenneth B. [1]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. He sits down and waits
for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls
for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo."
The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink, then asks the
newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this
new drink, he says, "I'll have a waterloo too."
The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink. The man takes
a big drink from the glass and says, "HEY! This isn't any good.
It tastes just like water!"
The man next to him looks at the bartender and says,
"Well, it is water . . . right Lou?
______________________________________________________
Lisa and Linda are walking down the street. Lisa finds a
little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again.
Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen
this face before!"
"Give it to me", says Linda. She looks in the mirror and
says, "Of course you have, silly! It's me!"
Today in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death
of Queen Mary Tudor.
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason.
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67.
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide
while in jail awaiting execution.
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean
and the Red seas.
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups
Bolsheviks and Mensheviks.
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel
through the Panama Canal.
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from
dancing the tango.
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R.
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule.
The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32.
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released
by Luna 17.
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female
and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy
in Tehran.
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic
country. She was elected in the first democratic elections
in Pakistan in 11 years.
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River
Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of
World War II prisoners of war.
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the
Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were
killed by police.
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the
first time humans had trapped antimatter.
2014 smiled.
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How difficult is Open Office?
Sunday, November 16, 2014, 09:59 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 16
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Tennessee man for being the world's
worst deadbeat dad with 26 kids.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure
into law. That pipeline is still working well.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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The average person's idea of a good sermon
is one that goes over his head
and hits a neighbor.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
A young man was talking to a girl that he had just met, and
asked her name.
"I don't want to tell you," she said, "I'm named after both
of my parents, and it's kind of embarrassing."
"Well, what could be so bad about that?" the young man asked.
"My mother's name is Eliza, and my father's name is Ferdinand."
the girl answered.
"Well, those are nice names" the guy replied.
"It would be if they wouldn't have named me FerdEliza!"
______________________________________________________
I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my
first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines
operated.
"Excuse me." I said to a casino employee. "How does this
work?"
The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin
button, and operate the release handle.
"And where does the money come out?" I asked.
He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying,
"Usually at the ATM."
______________________________________________________
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new
computer. The training officer said the computer was able to
withstand nuclear and chemical attacks.
Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and
yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll
have to get rid of that coffee."
The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?"
"Because a coffee spill could short the keyboard and wipe
out all of the data!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Jean for this picture:
Click through for the big picture
Lilac-Breasted Roller
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to
Terry Turnage
50
Memphis, Tennessee
Worst Deadbeat Dad
Now Has 26 Kids
The Tennessee deadbeat who has fathered 26 children with
20 different women has again been ordered by a judge to
make child support payments, this time for a two-year-old
Arkansas boy, court records show.
Terry Turnage, a 50-year-old Memphis resident, was ordered
this month to pay $60 per week to Miesha Davis, mother of
the pair’s son Ja’Voin. The support order came as a result
of a paternity complaint filed on Davis’s behalf by
Arkansas’s Office of Child Support Enforcement.
A Circuit Court judge also ordered Turnage to “maintain
health care insurance” for the child “when reasonably
available” through his employer, and pay $365 in court fees.
In addition to Davis, two other Arkansas women have recently
secured child support orders against Turnage, who has gained
notoriety for impregnating assorted Tennessee women (many
of whom also have secured child support orders to which
Turnage has failed to adhere).
According to Arkansas court records, state officials have
filed income withholding notices with a Memphis company that
operates a McDonald’s restaurant where Turnage has supposedly
worked (and earned $247.28 weekly).
However, it appears that Turnage has a stake in a Forrest
City, Arkansas nightclub that lists its owner as Turnage’s
son, Terry Jr.. The elder Turnage is a regular at Club Envy,
where he last month hosted a two-day party celebrating his
50th birthday. The club’s address is listed as Turnage’s
residence in some court papers.
In addition to his assorted child support cases, Turnage
is facing a felony charge of making terroristic threats.
Investigators allege that Turnage threatened a Forrest
City businessman from whom he had purchased an automobile
that did not run any more.
In a June 2 written statement, the victim told cops that
Turnage warned that if he did not have the Chevrolet repaired
and delivered to the Club Envy parking lot, “he would shoot
me or my wife.” The man added that Turnage “led me to believe
that he had a gun and that he was willing and able to carry
through” on his repeated threats.
Turnage, who is unwilling to support his offspring, paid the
businessman $10,000 in cash for the 2005 Corvette.
If convicted of the felony charge, Turnage faces a maximum
of six years in state prison. He is being represented by a
public defender after filing an “affidavit of indigency”
in late-September.
Tech Support Pits
From: Karen
Re: How difficult is Open Office?
Dear Webby!
I know you like Open Office. How difficult is it to learn
how to use it? I just need a woprd processor, spreadsheet,
and the occasional PowerPoint presentation.
Thanks
Karen
Dear Karen
It's about the same as Microsoft Office, picks up
Open Standard and Microsoft proprietary files and
saves them in whatever format you select.
Changing from Microsoft Office to Open Office is about
as difficult as changing browsers, for example changing
from Internet Explorer, when that has security problems,
to FireFox or Chrome.
Some menu items are in different places, and a few commands
have names, that make more sense. Not a big deal at all.
Sure, for a few days you'll be slowed down a bit, until you
get used to the new locations of some of the menu selections,
but I found it very intuitive and no problem at all.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?"
But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth
because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the
Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a
Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies
with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses'
followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's
horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus
drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they
cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd,
"For I did not speak of my own Accord."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as
evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of
Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:
"Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."And,
following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a
Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Aluminum Foil as Alternative to Fabric Sheets
A ball of aluminum foil to prevent static in the dryer.
If you don't have fabric sheets or just don't want to buy
them, try using aluminum foil instead! Crumple up a sheet
of aluminum foil into a ball and toss it into the dryer.
It eliminates static cling, lasts a long, long time, and
costs practically nothing!
By Marilyn from Colfax, LA
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. |
______________________________________________________
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming
voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful
to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish".
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over
anytime I want to."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the
logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would
take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire
for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another
wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord,
I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said
that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand
women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking
when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean
when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy."
After a few minutes God said,
"Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
______________________________________________________
John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate
their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new
Mink Coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he
suggests. She again rejects his offer with a
"No thanks."
"Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend quite that much," says John.
Today in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the
American Revolution.
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began
their "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War.
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason.
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle
patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year.
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established
diplomatic relations for the first time.
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football
for Charlie Brown.
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged
with massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai
massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968.
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched
from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission.
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure
into law. That pipeline is still working well.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had
been developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research.
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment
of HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran.
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic
"sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence.
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident
from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated
for almost 18 years.
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students,
aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a
carefully selected group of teachers and students.
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a
deal for the North American rights to a book about her
affair with U.S. President Clinton.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could
file discrimination lawsuits against employers even when
labor contracts require arbitration.
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth,
was shot four times in her car. She died a month later
from her wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced
to a minimum of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his
role in the murder.
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president
to visit Communist Vietnam.
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of
nearly 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean.
2014 smiled.
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