Harvesting pictures from PPS 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, February 23

Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs.
That means no email will be answered for 3 days and no
newsletters will be sent out until the Monday issue.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ex-NYPD shrink pleads guilty to shooting husband 
to be with lover. As former cop gets off easy.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 23 in
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. --- Bill Hoest History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte History is the version of past events that the winners have decided to agree upon. --- Dwight D Eisenhower ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ In a high school science quiz, there was the question, "When water becomes ice, which of its physical properties increases?" Everyone answered, "Its volume increases," except , who wrote, "When water becomes ice, its price increases." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ After church on Sunday morning, suddenly announced to mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?" "Well," replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell and get paid for it, than to sit still and yawn and having to fork over my change for it." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Emily Dearden, 48, New York, NY Ex-NYPD shrink pleads guilty to shooting husband to be with lover. As former cop gets off easy. An ex-NYPD shrink pleaded guilty Friday to shooting her husband in the face, allegedly so she could start a new life with her married Texas lover. Emily Dearden, 48, was initially charged with attempted murder in the November 2013 shooting but not until AFTER he filed a civil suit against her, and faced up to 25 years in state prison. But under a negotiated deal, she pleaded guilty in Yonkers City Court to first-degree assault and will get just 3 1/2 years. She remains free on $150,000 bail and will be sentenced June 7. Emily was accused in a lawsuit by her husband, Kenneth, of trying to execute him with an antique derringer because she “had been having an on-and-off extramarital affair since at least early 2011.” She wanted to take him out of the picture to avoid a “contentious divorce,” according to the suit. Her lover, Warren Roudebush, ended his own marriage shortly before the November 2013 shooting and was pressuring Emily to do the same “so that they could be together,” according to the court papers filed in White Plains. “With [Kenneth] no longer in the picture, [Emily] could avoid a contentious divorce, keep the marital home and never admit the marriage infidelity to any family and friends,” the suit says. The bullet that struck Kenneth entered at the back of his neck, near the base of his skull, passed underneath his ear canal and lodged in his left cheek. He underwent surgeries to remove the bullet and to repair a severed artery to his brain. According to Kenneth’s suit, Emily claimed to have been knocked out by an intruder. But cops who responded to Kenneth’s 911 call “seemed skeptical” because there were no signs of forced entry, the home’s burglar alarm wasn’t tripped and the family’s pet Rottweiler didn’t react, the suit says. However, they did not charge her until AFTER he had filed a civil suit agaisnt her. Kenneth, a developer and vice chairman of the Yonkers Downtown/Waterfront Business Improvement District, and Emily have two teenage daughters and shared a colonial-style home on Pondfield Road in a posh section of Yonkers. Emily, who was hired in 2002, was responsible for evaluating potential NYPD hires. She’d been on desk duty since her arrest. On Friday after her conviction, the department suspended her pending a disciplinary hearing to fire her. Later in the day, she resigned. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cindy Re: PPS Dear Webby Please Help I have received a pps document which has the most amazing photos scenes of winter on. Now I would like to open this document so I can copy the files in to my pc so I can use them as wallpaper or even add them to my screen saver. I have searched all over but can only open the application and run it as a pps. I have attached the file so you can view it maybe you can help, as i know you have been able to assist me before with other issues. many thanks. Cindy Dear Cindy There is a free Microsoft PPS viewer, that lets you view it, but it is quite limited in what you can do. I use Libre Office 5 (Similar to Open Office 5). It lets you view and easily copy each picture and then paste it as a new image into the graphics program of your choice. Have FUN! DearWebby
Darling," a husband whispered to his wife late one night, "if I died, would you get married again?" "I suppose so," she replied. "Would you sleep in the same bed with him?" "Well, it's the only bed in the house, so I have no choice." "Would you make love to him?" "Honey," the woman said patiently, "he would be my husband." "Would you give him my car?" "No," she yawned, "He can't drive a stick shift. ... Sheeeet!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Toaster If your toaster is reluctant to accept the toast it's probably because crumbs have built up to point that the bread can no longer be pushed down all the way. Most toasters have a handy trap door on the bottom that allows you to remove any crumbs that have built up. First unplug the toaster. Make sure you open it over a garbage can or outside to avoid getting crumbs everywhere. To get it super clean, you can use some compressed air like you use for cleaning inside of electronic device. Never clean the inside with water. Turning it upside down over your bird feeder pan and giving it percussive maintenance (slapping it around a bit), does the trick too. If you can't take it outside, your vacuum cleaner's crevice tool does an excellent job. Unlike canned air, it does not fire glass hard and sharp old crumbs at your eyes and hair and down the front of your blouse. Have FUN! DearWebby
Prison Flash Mob
____________________________________________________ A swimming instructor at a Los Angeles university was quizzing a group of students on Red Cross life saving and water safety techniques. They answered all of her questions easily until she posed this one: "Which article of clothing would you remove last if you fell from a boat or dock fully clothed?" Everyone mentioned something different. It was evident that no one knew the correct answer, so the instructor helped out. "The blouse," she said, "because the air gets under the blouse and acts like a buoy!" The subsequent uproar ended the class. ___________________________________________________
The most expensive house in the US looks very cold and sterile to me. Not my taste. Click on the web site in blue to see a video of it.
A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her. "What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues. She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived".
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 23
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 

1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 

1792 The Humane Society of Massachusetts was incorporated. 

1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded in
Waltham, MA. 

1821 The Philadelphia College of Apothecaries established the
first pharmacy college. 

1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 

1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista in
Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary, who attacked during
Siesta hour.

1861 U.S. President-elect Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly in
Washington to take his office after an assassination attempt
in Baltimore. 

1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 

1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike."
More widely known as lawn tennis. 

1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 

1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 

1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake that
killed about 2,000. 

1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 

1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter,
"J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism and
wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 

1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa
between the Boers and the British army. 

1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for
$10 million. 

1905 The Rotary Club was founded in Chicago, IL, by Attorney
Paul Harris and three others. 

1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 

1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 

1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial $1
gold coin. 

1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito
Mussolini. 

1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies,
hours of operation and power allocations for radio
broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the
Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 

1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial
battle with the Japanese.

1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 

1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 

1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the
U.S. Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph
of the Marines raising the American flag was taken. 

1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio
began in Pittsburgh, PA. 

1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped
by Cuban rebels. 

1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military
coup. 

1970 Guyana became a republic. 

1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more
for the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on
February 4th. 

1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new
parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken
on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 

1985 The TV show "Gimme a Break" was broadcast live before a
studio audience. It was the first TV sitcom to be seen live
since the 1950s. 

1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the
border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than
four days later the war was over due to the surrender or
withdraw of Iraqi forces. 

1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his
parents. 

1997 NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely
uncensored. 

1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire
on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire
State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more
before killing himself. 

1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and
damaged and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 

1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with
treason. The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for
the Kurdish rebel leader. 

1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of
kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged
behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 

2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200
feet over an oncoming train. 

2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced
that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of
the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11,
2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people
had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified.

2017 NASA found 7 Earth-sized planets orbiting TRAPPIST-1, a
nearby star about 40 light-years over ==> thataway.
2017  smiled.


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How to type extended characters in WORD 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, February 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

7300 Boneheads would protest quite indignantly if I gave 
a Bonehead Award to these Bimbo Malfunctions.


Todays Bonehead Award:
Knoxville car theft suspect falls out of tree trying to 
resist arrest
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 22 in
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists 
at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. --- Bob Edwards I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. --- Kati Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so. --- Bertrand Russell ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they would not have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled down on the handle and haven't seen them since. It rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket for you. The family is fine. Your father, he has a lovely job. He has about 500 men under him. He is cutting grass down at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet whether it's a girl or a boy so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle. We got a bill from the funeral home the other day. They said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. Billy Bob was driving and Willie and Joe was in the back. Billy Bob got out, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, it seems they couldn't get the tailgate down. Your Uncle Leroy fell in a whiskey vat at the place where he worked. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off before he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Not much more news this time. Nothin' much happened. Write more often. Love, Mom P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I know the election is OVER, but this joke is just too good to ignore: Donald and Hillary In a Bakery Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three donuts and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything and I don’t even need to lie. I will definitely win the election.” The Donald says to Hillary, “That’s the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.” Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a donut and I will show you a magic trick.” Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a donut. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third donut and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “What did you do with the donuts?” Trump replies, “Look in Hillary’s left pocket.” ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacob Chosie, 34, Knoxville, Tennessee Knoxville car theft suspect falls out of tree trying to resist arrest A car theft suspect from Tennessee was injured when he fell from a tree while trying to elude the Lake City Police, a report said. A police report released by Lake City authorities said that Jacob Chosie, 34, of Knoxville, Tenn., climbed a tree on Feb. 19. Chosie was attempting to escape on foot after reports of an armed man that was acting suspiciously near a local motel. The call triggered a four-hour chase in which several citizens reported than an unnamed man tried to gain access to multiple homes. One homeowner spotted Chosie on her home security camera and notified the police, leading to the location of the suspect. When cornered, police said, Chosie climbed a tall tree nearby. Other officers climbed nearby trees and attempted to talk the suspect down -- to no avail. When police tried to physically apprehend Chosie, he fell to the base of the tree, sustaining multiple fractures. Police are still looking for the gun Chosie is reported to have carried and are asking citizens to call them if they see it. Chosie is charged with burglary, trespassing, car theft and resisting arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richard Re: How to type extended characters in WORD Dear Webby The hints that you gave about inserting the letter pi into a Microsoft Word document works well for a limited number of needed pi characters. If she is doing something that requires many pi characters, a good way to handle it is to set up an autotext entry (perhaps named pi) and then all she has to do is type pi and press the F3 key. It requires a space before the pi and inserts a space after but they are easily edited out. One advantage of autotext is that you can create an entry for each special character you require (the entire Greek alphabet for example) and then you do not have to remember the codes. It is very nice of you to help your readers with all their computer questions. Richard Dear Richard Your solution is even better! Have FUN! DearWebby
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy tying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the doorbell is just out of his reace. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevo- lently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy turns and yells, "NOW WE RUN!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Super Tasty Cheese Muffins By Judy Pariser S. [244 Posts, 1,032 Comments] Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 20 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes Yield: 12 Muffins Source: Annette and Steve Economides Ingredients: 3/4 cup whole wheat flour 1 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp salt 1 Tbsp baking powder 3/4 cup grated cheddar cheese (I used finely shredded) 2 eggs 1/4 cup oil 1 cup milk 1/4 cup honey Parmesan cheese for sprinkling on top Steps: Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Grease the muffin tins. Muffin liners are not recommended for this recipe. Stir together both flours, cheese, salt and baking powder in a large bowl. In another bowl, mix the eggs, oil, milk and honey. Make a well in the bowl with the flour. Pour in the wet ingredients and combine. The batter will be lumpy. Fill the muffin tins 3/4 full. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on the top of the muffins. Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown.
Catching a baby spider in Australia
____________________________________________________ Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?" ___________________________________________________
Interesting people. Win compilation best of 2016.
"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal, but boys and girls are not born the same. 1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose. 2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you are driving there. 3. Boys' rooms are always messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess. 4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. Then she will hit a boy with it. A baby boy will pick up a stick and start drumming. 5. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public. 6. If girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches. 7. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt. 8. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make sounds like a truck. 9. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the TV during a movie they have already seen. 10. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 22
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at
their first Thanksgiving dinner. 

1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New York
City for the Far East. 

1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 

1855 The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for
continuance of the work on the Washington Monument. The next
morning the resolution was tabled and it would be 21 years
before the Congress would vote on funds again. Work was
continued by the Know-Nothing Party in charge of the project. 

1859 U.S. President Buchanan approved the Act of February 22,
1859, which incorporated the Washington National Monument
Society "for the purpose of completing the erection now in
progress of a great National Monument to the memory of
Washington at the seat of the Federal Government." 

1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution that
abolished slavery. 

1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 5 and
10-cent store. 

1885 The Washington Monument was officially dedicated in
Washington, DC. It opened to the public in 1889. 

1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit
opened in Emeryville, CA. 

1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los
Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 

1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish liaison
offices. 

1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state
of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with an
increase in population of 19.2 percent. 

1994 The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and his
wife with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. Ames
was later convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife received a
5-year prison term. 

1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced
that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was
actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to
have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 

2002 In the Philippines, an MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed
into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 

2010 A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1
million. The comic featured the introduction of Superman. 

2010 Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming
company Vudu, Inc. 

2017  smiled.


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How to store CDs and DVDs 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, February 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Utah woman drove off with idling and unlocked fire truck,
and to the Kearns fire department for leaving a running truck
unlocked while the entrie crew was in the 7-11.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 21 in
1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was
 demonstrated in Wales. 

1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age 
of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. BLM
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Television has raised writing to a new low. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. --- Vilhjalmur Stefansson (1879 - 1962) I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. --- Robert McCloskey ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Frank called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. "The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she didn't know how to cook either." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, "What was your most difficult case?" The other replied, "I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this fantasy uncle. I worked with this man eight years." "What was the result?" "It was an eight-year struggle. Every day for eight years, but I finally cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amber Marie Welker, 39, Kerns, Utah Utah woman drove off with idling and unlocked fire truck The Bonehead Award should also go to the Kearns fire department, not just to Amber Marie Welker. Hereabouts everybody uses keyfob remote controls to lock and unlock vehicles. I have not seen vehicles without electric locks since the '80s. A Kearns woman who police say got into the driver's seat of an idling firetruck and drove it eight blocks before she got out and ran off has been booked into the Salt Lake County Jail. Amber Marie Welker, 39, was arrested for investigation of theft and violating her parole. About 5 p.m. Thursday, as Unified Fire Authority firefighters were inside a 7-Eleven, 4820 W. 6200 South, police say Welker got into the driver's seat of their idling and UNLOCKED firetruck and drove off. She drove eight blocks before parking the truck by a Walgreen's, near the intersection of 6200 South and 5600 West, then went inside the store and changed her clothes in a restroom. After reviewing surveillance video, Welker was spotted walking near 6200 S. Stone Bluff Way (5500 West) and was arrested. The firetruck did not sustain any damage. In fact, both Unified police officers and firefighters were amazed she was able to not only get the large vehicle moving, but drive it rather successfully. "I have no idea how she did it," said Unified Police Lt. Brian Lohrke. DUH! Any trucker's kid learns as a toddler when daddy or mom lets them pull or hit the big knob, long before they learn that the word on it says BRAKE. Outside of Kearns, Utah, that is not rocket science. "I was shocked that she was able to drive the distance that she did and do so without anything more than going over a couple of curbs, which you see even experienced truck drivers and firefighters (do)," said Unified fire spokesman Matthew McFarland. Welker was not only able to put the truck into gear, but she successfully disabled the air brakes and maneuvered the cumbersome firetruck through the streets, making turns without hitting other cars or structures. "Unless you're familiar with trucks that have air brakes, like all real trucks do, that in itself would stop a lot of people," McFarland said. "It all happened pretty quick, I would guess she had some working knowledge of trucks because she was pretty successful. "And no, I don't think that everyone on the street could jump in and drive one. They're not that straightforward. We spend countless hours in driver's training." Lohrke said firetrucks need to remain idling in the winter because of the water tanks. But he believes the department was now reviewing its policy about leaving a truck unattended. Or maybe learn to use the keyfob remote control to lock and unlock the doors, just like everybody else does? Welker, whose last known address was in Kearns, was convicted in April of assault on a police officer for biting an officer trying to take her into custody, according to court records. She also pleaded no contest to interfering with an arresting officer in 2015. Court records show Welker has also been convicted of drug-related charges and domestic violence- related charges as well as violation of protective orders. With people like that on the loose, they better learn about clicking the LOCK button on the key fob. It's actually really easy! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rex Re: CD Storage Dear Webby What's the best way to store important CDs ? I mean stuff that is not easily replaceable like music CDs are. Rex Dear Rex I recommend those aluminum briefcase style tool boxes that you see with telephone repair people and mobile computer fixers. They are about 46 x 35 x 15 cm (18" x 14" x 6" for the British Imperial Loyalists) and quite sturdy. If there is a fire or any reason for evacuating quickly, you can just grab that aluminum case and run. You can fit hundreds of CDs even with Jewel Cases into them. The trick is to put the CDs INTO the case, not piling them on top. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Bertha: He didn't like my pudding And he didn't like my cake. My biscuits were too hard, Not like his mother use to bake. I didn't perk the coffee And I didn't make the stew, I didn't mend his socks Like his mother use to do. As I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. So, I turned around and boxed his ears, Like his Mother used to do!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stuffed Green Peppers By Jackie H. [217 Posts, 104 Comments] Stuffed green peppers have always been a family favorite in my house. It is a very frugal dinner, too! 2 jumbo green peppers, cut in half 1 1/2 lb lean ground beef 1 small onion, chopped fine 1 stalk celery, chopped fine 2 cloves garlic, chopped fine a few slices of green pepper chopped fine 1 box Zaterain's Red Beans and Rice, follow directions on the box 2 cans Italian seasoned diced tomatoes (1 for the rice and 1 for topping the peppers) grated Parmesan cheese (optional) Steps: Using a large skillet, break up up the beef with a spatula. Add all the chopped veggies, the tomatoes, and bring to a boil. Follow the package directions for red beans and rice. Let this all simmer until it thickens. Par boil the green pepper halves. Ladle some of the sauce from the pan and put it in the casserole dish. Lay the pepper halves in a covered casserole dish. Using a the extra diced tomatoes, pour them on top of each pepper. Cover and put in a 350 degree F oven for 30 minutes, or until you see them bubbling hot. Interesting variation! I boil the rice and in the meantime saute the ground beef and oinions and garlic. Cut the pepers near the stem end, but not as close as when using them for salad. The stem should still be solidly in the cap. Then I cut and clean the inside with a sharp tea spoon. When the rice is almost done, I add it to the beef/onion mix, and stir 3/4 of can of seasones chopped tomatoes plus oregano, cilantro, paprika, salt and pepper and stir it gently, without making the rice mushy. Then I put the bell peppers open end up into a casserole dish, fill them with the mix, put the caps back onto them, pour the remainder of the tomatoes around them, cover, and bake at 375 for 20 minutes. I used to make fresh breadsticks as a side dish, but nowadays I just make a tart cucumber salad for the side. Try both recipes and tell me which one you like better! Have FUN! DearWebby
drum & bugle corps
____________________________________________________ Lawyer: Tell us about the fight. Witness: I didn't see no fight. Lawyer: Well, tell us what you did see. Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners, they would slap each other on the shoulder, and one fellow hit harder than the other one liked, and so the other one hit back and somebody pulled a knife and someone else drew a pistol and another guy came up with a rifle that had been hidden under a bed, and the air was filled with yelling and gun smoke and bullets. Lawyer: You, too were shot in the fracas? Witness: No sir, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. ___________________________________________________
A very imaginative artist.
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy."John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... That's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling." "Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is..." ------------------- Yeah, I remember Mr Robertson, a manager with shiny shoes. The ONLY shiny shoes in the company, until the mysterious, never drying mud puddle appeared around his designated parking spot.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 21
1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was
demonstrated in Wales. 

1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 

1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and
Friedrich Engels. 

1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in Boston,
MA. 

1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. were
distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was a single
page of only fifty names. 

1904 The National Ski Association was formed in Ishpeming, MI.


1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in France.
The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with a French victory
over Germany.

1932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter. 

1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to the
Optical Society of America in New York City. It was the first
camera to take, develop and print a picture on photo paper all
in about 60 seconds. The photos were black and white. The
camera went on sale the following year. 

1950 The first International Pancake Race was held in Liberal,
Kansas. 

1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age of
39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. BLM.

1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines jet
over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed. 

1975 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell and former
White House aides H.R. Haldeman and John D. Ehrlichman were
sentenced to 2 1/2 to 8 years in prison for their roles in the
Watergate cover-up. 

1988 In Baton Rouge, LA, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart
confessed to his congregation that he was guilty of an
unspecified sin. He announced that he was leaving the pulpit
temporarily. Swaggart had been linked to an admitted
prostitute. 

1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah
Khomeini's death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author
Salman Rushdie "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized
behavior." 

1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person
to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed
in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada. 

2003 David Hasselhoff and his wife Pamela were injured in a
motorcycle accident. The accident was caused by a strong gust
of wind. Hasselhoff fractured his lower back and broke several
ribs. His wife fractured her left ankle and right wrist. 

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, February 20

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Brittney Lahcell Jones, arrested for performing sex act
inside Florida courthouse and posting video of it, 
claiming thqat is how she got some charges dropped. 
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 20 in
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions. --- Senator Patrick Leahy (1940 - ) Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. --- Socratex "Nothing deters a good man from doing what is honourable." --- Seneca ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Annie One day I called my son, who was a sophomore at college, and heard this message on his answering machine: "A is for academics; B is for beer; It's one of those reasons we are not here." Startled by his poem, I left him my own in response: "M is for mom; G is for groan; Since you have moeny left over for beer I'll keep, what I was going to send right here." And I did. Next time I called, he had sold the answering machine. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said "Let's play clinic. " "Good idea." said the other. "You hand out the pill samples, and I'll do the billing." ______________________________________________________ Abandoned railroad in Paris From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittney Lahcell Jones, 26, Jeremiah Isiah Robinson, 35, Jacksonville, Florida Brittney Lahcell Jones, arrested for performing sex act inside Florida courthouse and posting video of it, claiming thqat is how she got some charges dropped. Authorities in Jacksonville, Florida announced the arrest Brittney Lahcell Jones, the 26-year-old woman accused of posting a video of herself performing oral sex on a man inside a courthouse and then posting footage of the sex act on social media. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, deputies apprehended Jones on Wednesday. Police issued a warrant for the arrest of Jones and 35-year- old Jeremiah Isiah Robinson on a charge of a lascivious act, The Florida Times Union reported. Law enforcement officials said Robinson also surrendered to police The video, which surfaced online back in January, showing Brittney Lahcell Jones performing oral sex on a man in front of what appeared to be a Duval County courtroom, the newspaper reported. Jones was scheduled for an arraignment on a drug charge at the time in the Duval County Courthouse. Afterward, she posted a message on her Twitter account, which read, “Found a way to get my charges dropped.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robbie Re: File Explorer problem Dear Webby i am now running windos 7. Before, the file explorer let me have a space in the right file list colum to show the pix and play the music and see pix plus file comments. Now in 7 there is no space and nothing to see how to i get it to show what is in a file and file comments? thanks i send u warmth u need it1 Robbie Dear Robbie Click on the icon titled "Folders". That will show the right side. If you give it space, it will show a thumbnail of the file, that you have highlighted on the left. For comments on the stuff on the right side, just hover the cursor over an item. Most files do not have comments, unless you added them during the file creation. Have FUN! DearWebby
Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. But, when the bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, he finally called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "You said to do something nice for Uncle Charlie... .. So I rented him a tuxedo in your name."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cannellini Bean Sauté By Judy Pariser S. [243 Posts, 1,024 Comments] So easy, fast, delicious, and very inexpensive, too. A nice change of pace when you are tired of potatoes, rice and pasta. It's ready in a matter of minutes. Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes Total Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 servings Source: Food.com Ingredients: 2 cans (15 oz) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained 3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1/4 cup yellow onion, minced 1 1/2 tsp garlic, minced 4 tsp fresh lemon juice 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp pepper 1/2 tsp Italian seasoning Dry white wine (I used chicken broth) Parmesan cheese Heat the oil in a skillet. Add the onion and garlic and cook until soft and fragrant, around 2 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients except the Parmesan cheese. Cook until softened and heated through, and until the liquid is reduced, about 3 minutes. Serve warm with some Parmesan cheese on top.
the Rockwell Retro Encabulator (great video)
____________________________________________________ DOG EMAILS TO GOD Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are they thinking? Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have six inch legs? Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, pee-mail, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energyfields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street. ___________________________________________________
A mysterious cabin hidden deep in the woods.
Jack was living in Australia during a heat wave when the following took place. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "They probably think that I married you for your money."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 20
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. 

1792 U.S. President George Washington signed the Postal
Service Act that created the U.S. Post Office. 

1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal
government was greater than that of any individual state. 

1815 The USS Constitution, under Captain Charles Stewart
fought the British ships Cyane and Levant. The Constitution
captures both, but lost the Levant after encountering a
British squadron. The Constitution and the Cyane returned to
New York safely on May 15, 1815. The Cyane was purchased and
became the USS Cyane. 

1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District of
Columbia. 

1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that
manufactured paper bags. 

1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick
manufacturing machine. 

1880 The American Bell Company was incorporated. 

1901 The first territorial legislature of Hawaii convened. 

1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the Oakland
Bay Bridge. 

1933 The U.S. House of Representatives completed congressional
action on the amendment to repeal Prohibition. 

1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began raiding German
aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II. 

1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world
three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American
to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury
capsule. Glenn witnessed the Devil's Cigarette Lighter while
in flight. 

1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands
of pictures of its surface. 

1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City,
UT. The blast was blamed on the Unabomber. 

1993 Two ten-year-old boys were charged by police in
Liverpool, England, in the abduction and death of a toddler.
The two boys were later convicted. 

1998 American Tara Lipinski, at age 15, became the youngest
gold medalist in winter Olympics history when she won the
ladies' figure skating title at Nagano, Japan. 

2001 FBI Agent Robert Phillip Hanssen was arrested and charged
with spying for the Russians for 15 years. 

2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train
killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65. 

2003 In West Warwick, RI, 100 people were killed and more than
230 were injured when fire destroyed the nightclub The
Station. The fire started with sparks from a pyrotechnic
display being used by Jack Russel's Great White. Ty Longley,
guitarist for the band, was one of the victims in the fire. 

2008 The U.S. Navy destroyed an inoperable spy satellite with
a missile from the USS Lake Erie and turned it into shrapnel.

2017  smiled.


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Descriptive file names 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, February 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Massachusetts woman drinks wine in front of cops after 
crashing her car into oncoming traffic.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 19 in
1856 The tintype camera was patented by 
Professor Hamilton L. Smith.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one. --- George Meany Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one. --- Socratex It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Barb Moron Malfunctions: Ever looked up the education credentials of Hollywood and New York soothsayers? Most of them rely on knowledge clouds drifting across the Pacific, perhaps from an Asian mystic who wears lots of colorful beads. The mystic has brought them deep understanding of economics, governance, military affairs and especially science. It inspires bold words on most topics. LEONARDO DeCAPRIO's self-declared climate expertise enables him to speak on the world's environmental issues with a high-school education. He never took a college biology, chemistry, physics or climatology course, yet he knows more than most scientists. He proved that by addressing climate change before a full gathering of the UN. SEAN PENN's quick takes on everything put him at the lofty level of an Einstein. He visited Iraq once and became an expert on that country. The same for Iran. He also became buddies with the brutal Venezuelan communist Hugo Chavez and consistently lauded that murderous thug. Now that Chavez is gone and Venezuelans are raiding dumpsters for food scraps, Penn is having a rare silent moment. Penn deserves some credit for becoming a world-affairs genius based on two years of auto mechanics classes at Santa Monica College. KATY PERRY's passion about politics and economics freed her to quit high school at 15 without compromising her expert status. Asked the square root of 64, the name given the Constitution's first 10 amendments and to explain PE ratio, her answer might be, "Republicans are for the rich." She recently demonstrated wizardry by making an anti-Trump video. It suggested the new president would commit acts similar to forced World War II lockups of loyal Japanese- Americans. Perry probably did not know the internment plan was developed and executed by DEMOCRAT President Roosevelt. ROBERT DeNIRO must also be a quick learner. He acquired amazing scientific knowledge before dropping out of high school. He knows so much about geology that he joined Artists Against Fracking. (All the producing wells in his native Manhattan must have provided first-hand experience.) He's also an expert on pediatric medicine, enabling him to speak often against vaccinating infants and children. HARRY BELAFONTE is another multiple-subject whiz who needed little formal education. Some people might think this talented singer might limit his words to songs since his IQ is so low. Don't worry. Despite advancing age, he remains expert on most things. When black people of greater intelligence (that's most black people) say something moderate or conservative, he hurls the N word at them. Decades ago, he loudly denounced Reagan's elimination of CETA, the Comprehensive Employment Training Act. It was one of the most wasteful federal programs ever -- many vanished dollars, few jobs. Belafonte tore into Reagan during an interview Finally, the interviewer asked Belafonte what CETA stood for. Belafonte had no clue. He knew almost nothing about the act. ROSIE O'DONNELL was my personal favorite long before her hateful remark that Trump's 10-year-old son looked autistic. Her coarse philosophy must be that if you say something loudly, it need not be correct. Her bombast probably created lots of turmoil with both the women she "married." She also must have skipped chemistry during her high-school education. Otherwise, she would have not have offered "proof" that 9/11 was an inside job. She often bellowed that planes could not have brought down the Twin Towers because "steel doesn't burn." This constant jackass must not know that high temperatures DO reduce steel's strength. AL SHARPTON would be America's greatest at-large criminal, if not for Hillary's tens of millions swapped for influence and favors. Sharpton owes nearly $5 million in delinquent taxes to IRS and New York state. Makes you wonder why NBC/MSNBC would ever hire him. Sharpton accumulated vast theological knowledge by age 9, when he was "ordained" as a preacher. He didn't need more than a high-school education to keep marching forward. His most successful high school class must have been Shystehood. Despite one scandal after another, his 2004 run for president stands out. The Federal Election Commission forced him to return $100,000 in taxpayer money provided by FEC. One of many abuses was his $145,146 charge for "Campaign letter preparation -- Kinko's." Later, FEC fined Sharpton $285,000. JULIA ROBERTS proves that physical beauty does not ensure a beautiful brain. She had a fling at Georgia State University before pursuing acting lessons and joining a modeling group. Her acting and modeling skills guided her to such thoughtful observations as "Republican" comes between "reptile" and "repugnant" in the dictionary. Impressed? BROOKE SHIELDS, an Obama supporter, verifies the Roberts theory -- that physical beauty does not guarantee a beautiful brain. During her days as a boisterous animal- rights supporter, Shields had a mink coat custom-made. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN could have been No. 1 on this list. He squabbled with nuns when in Catholic school. Transferring to a public school, he thought so little of the education experience that he skipped graduation. Had he gone to college, he might have majored in Hate 101. That's what we hear when he's not singing. He claims Trump is a "moron" who advocates "white nationalism." Springsteen demonstrates the analytical skills' void of most show-biz folk when he laments America's industrialization decline. Somebody please whisper to Springsteen that his party's business-crunching regulations and world-leading corporate tax rate compels U.S. manufacturers to go elsewhere. Finally, two others are outside the entertainment world, disqualifying them from winning an Oscar, Emmy or Grammy. Politicians Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters do compete for the Rock Head of the Year trophy each time they speak. Pelosi frequently wins with comments like needing to pass a bill "so we can find out what's in it." Waters has already locked up the 2017 trophy for suggesting a Trump impeachment over his campaign antics. Listen closely, Maxine. Presidents can be impeached only for what they do in office. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!" The bartender pours out the shots, and the cowboy drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast." The cowboy replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too if you had what I have." The bartender says "Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?" A hole in my pants where my wallet used to be. ______________________________________________________ There used to be a bridge from a restaurant to the stairs, but it collapsed due to lack of maintenance. From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erin Lynch, 37, Hingham, Massachusetts Massachusetts woman drinks wine in front of cops after crashing her car into oncoming traffic. A Massachusetts woman took the saying “love the wine your with” too far on Valentine’s Day when she continued drinking in front of officers after crashing her car, according to WPBF. Erin Lynch, 37, allegedly drove over the center line and hit an oncoming car, according to Hingham police. This driver was arrested on Valentines Day night after crossing over center line on Rockland Street and hitting an oncoming car. She continued to drink from the wine bottle after the crash after Officers asked for her license. The driver of the car that was hit was seat belted and not injured. This driver was arrested for drunk driving and other charges. When the officer approached Lynch, he spotted a bottle of wine and wine glass in the passenger seat of the car, according to police. Officers say instead of getting her license, Lynch drank from a bottle of wine. On their Twitter account, Hingham Police shared photos of a wine glass in the center console of Lynch’s car. EMS arrived later and placed an “uncooperative” Lynch on a stretcher and transported her to South Shore Hospital, where she was sobered up prior to be placed under arrest. She must have looked really rough before they sobered her up! Lynch was charged with operating under the influence, driving to endanger, a marked lane violation, an open container violation and a seat belt violation. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Amanda Re: Descriptive picture names Dear Webby I was told to use decriptive names for pictures instead of just numbers, but now they don't show up any more. They show OK on my computer, but not on the web. Amanda Dear Amanda When the web was invented, it was decided that names have NO spaces in them. Then the Mac people gave in to Arab influence and allowed spaces in file names. A few years later Microsoft got paranoid about the Mac having something that Microsoft didn't have, and without thinking about it, followed suit. Well, the people in charge of the web thought and still think that spaces within names are stooopid and just a silly nuisance on the web. They really are, and they slow down browsing, because when the message comes back that there is no such file (with just the first portion), then some browsers add "%20", a space filler, and send another request out. If you have half a dozen words in your "descriptive file name", that wastes a lot of time. Just fill the gaps with underscores or the minus sign, and the files will show properly on all browsers. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Lilly: Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped. Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," he said, gesturing toward the doors, "Which one should I use?" "Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men." "Bronco and Cactus are our private dining rooms."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Black Bean Stuffed Bell Peppers This recipe is a delicious variation on the typical ground beef stuffed peppers. By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] Total Time: 55-65 minutes Yield: 8 servings Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup water 1 (3 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened 2 cups cooked brown rice 2 cups baby spinach, chopped 1 (10 oz.) Rotel diced tomatoes with green chiles 1 (15 oz.) can black beans, rinsed and drained 1/2 small onion, finely diced 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp dried oregano 4 large green bell peppers, 1/2 cup cheddar cheese, grated Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add water to a 9 x 13 inch baking dish. Set aside. Wash bell peppers, then cut them in half lengthwise. Remove the stems, seeds, and membranes. Fill a large pot with water and bring to a boil. Put pepper halves into the boiling water and boil for 5 minutes. Remove peppers from pot and pat dry. Set aside. prepared pepper halves Put onion into a pan with a little oil. Cook until transparent and tender. NOTE: I had a pepper half that had some soft spots, so after removing those, I diced it up and cooked it with the onion. saute onions Put cream cheese into a bowl and stir until smooth. Add cooked rice, tomatoes, and onions. Then add cumin and oregano. Stir to combine. Mix in black beans, then add spinach; stir to combine. Stuff each pepper half with filling. Then place pepper halves in baking dish and top with cheese. Bake for 35-45 minutes or until filling is bubbly and peppers are tender.
why women are different from men
____________________________________________________ >From Martin: When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid. ___________________________________________________
A mysterious cabin hidden deep in the woods.
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I am going to give you a prescription for some tranquillizers that I want you to start taking regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down any?" "Oh, yes" the mother answered. "They do wonders for me." "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 19

1846 The formal transfer of government between Texas and the
United States took place. Texas had officially become a
state on December 29, 1845. 

1856 The tintype camera was patented by Professor Hamilton
L. Smith. 

1878 Thomas Alva Edison patented a music player (the
phonograph). 

1881 Kansas became the first state to prohibit all alcoholic
beverages. 

1942 U.S. President Roosevelt signed an executive order
giving the military the authority to relocate and intern
Japanese-Americans. 

1942 The New York Yankees announced that they would admit
5,000 uniformed servicemen free to each of their home ball
games during the coming season. 

1942 Approximately 150 Japanese warplanes attacked the
Australian city of Darwin. 

1945 During World War II, about 30,000 U.S. Marines landed
on Iwo Jima. 

1953 The State of Georgia approved the first literature
censorship board in the U.S. Newspapers were excluded from
the new legislation. 

1959 Cyprus was granted its independence with the signing of
an agreement with Britain, Turkey and Greece. 

1963 The Soviet Union informed U.S. President Kennedy it
would withdraw "several thousand" of its troops from Cuba. 

1981 The U.S. State Department calls El Savador a "textbook
case" of a Communist plot. 

1981 Ford Motor Company announced a loss of $1.5 billion. 

1985 Mickey Mouse was welcomed to China as part of the 30th
anniversary of Disneyland. The touring mouse played 30
cities in 30 days. 

1985 William Schroeder became the first artificial-heart
patient to leave the confines of the hospital. 

1985 Cherry Coke was introduced by the Coca-Cola Company. 

1986 The U.S. Senate approved a treaty outlawing genocide.
The pact had been submitted 37 years earlier for
ratification. 

1986 The Soviet Union launched the Mir space station. 

1987 A controversial, anti-smoking publice service
announcement aired for the first time on television. Yul
Brynner filmed the ad shortly before dying of lung cancer.
Brynner made it clear in the ad that he would have died from
cigarette smoking before ad aired. 

1997 Deng Xiaoping of China died at the age of 92. He was
the last of China's major revolutionaries. 

2002 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began using its thermal
emission imaging system to map Mars. 

2004 Former Enron Corp. chief executive Jeffrey Skilling was
charged with fraud, insider trading and other crimes in
connection with the energy trader's collapse. Skilling was
later convicted and sentenced to more than 24 years in
prison. 

2005 The USS Jimmy Carter was commissioned at Groton, CT. It
was the last of the Seawolf class of attack submarines. 

2008 Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother
Raul was named as his successor.

2017  smiled.


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Invisible text 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, February 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Man, 76, Shot Wife In Butt Over Lack of Sex after
6 years of dating and 6 months of marriage.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 17 in
1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established 
Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the 
basis for France's claim to Texas. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. --- Ronald Reagan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mother: "Soooo... you want to become my son-in-law." Suitor: "No, not really. But it seems to be the punishment for marrying your daughter." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ You may not know that many non living things have a gender. For example: 1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. 3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over inflated. 4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it and, of course, there's the hot air component. 5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. 6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. 7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. 8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can shift to the bottom. 9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. 10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male. But consider this: It gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. 11) Computer -- Female. The most popular operating system for home use is Windows, and Windows definitely uses Blonde Logic and PMS inspired user interface. ----------------------- Let's see if you can add to this and bring it to 100 ! ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Donald Royce, 76, Lehigh Acres, Floriduh Man, 76, Shot Wife In Butt Over Lack of Sex after 6 years of dating and 6 months of marriage. Angered that he had yet to consummate his six-month-old marriage, a 76-year-old Florida man allegedly shot his new bride in the buttocks, according to police who arrested the septuagenarian for felony domestic violence. Donald Royce, pictured above, was arrested Saturday night after firing a pair of shots at his 62-year-old spouse in the bedroom of the couple’s Lehigh Acres residence. He is being held in the Lee County jail in lieu of $100,000 bail. Royce "explained that they have been married since August and they have still not consummated their marriage,” according to a probable cause statement prepared by a police detective. “She got Donald violently angry tonight due to his requesting sex and her refusing.” During questioning by cops, Royce said that he had been arguing with his wife about their sleeping arrangements when he decided to fire into the bed to scare her. But Royce said he missed the mattress, instead striking the victim in the hip and buttocks. “Donald then stated he only wanted to shoot the mattress but was upset when he realized he had shot his wife,” an investigator noted. When sheriff’s deputies first arrived at his home, Royce declared, “I shot her and the gun is in my room.” Royce’s wife was transported to Lee Memorial Hospital, where she was treated and released. A judge has ordered Royce to have no contact with his wife. Royce and his wife--who had been together for six years-- were wed in August 2016 at the county clerk’s office in Fort Myers. After 6 years of teasing and promising, the bonehead still did not catch on that he was wasting his time. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: Invisible text Dear Webby Comments: HI, I just tried to send 2 cards. Everything else was alright except it would not show the messages. Thank you Betty Dear Betty If you customize a card, make sure you pick a contrasting text and background combo, unless you want to have invisible text that only shows up when you wipe the mouse over it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Carol for this joke: An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large, old lady went up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady went inside between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out. The father said quietly to his son: "Go get your mother."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rust Stains From My Washing Machine By guest (Guest Post) Iron Out is amazing. I was having a problem with my whites suddenly becoming orange and now they are whiter than anything in the house. I also use Mrs. Stewarts bluing for my whites usually but it just wasn't helping with the rust. Now- beautiful clothes and no icky residue on the inside of my washer either. I am very happy with that product.
why women are different from men
____________________________________________________ A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until, at 8 p.m., the husband finally pulls into the driveway. "What happened?" asked the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!" "Gus had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband. "Oh, that's terrible," said the wife. "I know," the husband answered. "All day long it was, hit the ball, drag Gus, hit the ball, drag Gus . . . " ___________________________________________________
12 Cool Camouflage Animals and Insects
The widow lay crying on her psychiatrist's couch. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years." "Amazing," said the doctor. "How did you do it?" "I outweighed him by sixty pounds and he was a chicken."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 18
1564 The artist Michelanglelo died in Rome. He did the
original painting of the Sixtine Chapel in Rome. It
contained a fair bit of nudity and was "corrected" and made
politically correct in the 1970s.

1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established Fort St.
Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the basis for
France's claim to Texas. 

1841 The first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate
began. It lasted until March 11th. 

1861 In Montgomery, AL, Jefferson Davis was inaugurated as
the President of the Confederate States. 

1885 Mark Twain's "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was
published in the U.S. for the first time. 

1913 The famous French painting "Nude Descending a
Staircase", by the French artist, Marcel Duchamp, was
displayed at an "Armory Show" in New York City. 

1930 Elm Farm Ollie became the first cow to fly in an
airplane. 

1930 The planet Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh. The
discovery was made as a result of photographs taken in
January 1930. 

1952 Greece and Turkey became members of NATO. 

1970 The Chicago Seven defendants were found innocent of
conspiring to incite riots at the 1968 Democratic national
convention. 

1972 The California Supreme Court struck down the state's
death penalty. 

1977 The space shuttle Enterprise went on its maiden
"flight" sitting on top of a Boeing 747. 

1998 In Russia, money shortages resulted in the shutting
down of three plants that produced nuclear weapons. 

1998 In Nevada, two white separatists were arrested and
accused of plotting a bacterial attack on subways in New
York City. 

2000 The U.S. Commerce Department reported a deficit in
trade goods and services of $271.3 billion for 1999. It was
the largest calender-year trade gap in U.S. history. 

2001 NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was killed in a
crash during the Daytona 500 race. 

2001 FBI agent Robert Philip Hanssen was arrested and
accused of spying for Russia for more than 15 years. He
later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to life in prison
without parole. 

2003 In South Korea, at least 120 people were killed when a
man lit a fire on a subway train. 

2017  smiled.


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Does a link exchange help with the search engines? 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, February 17
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the
troops!


Thank you, Ian!

Today, in 1933 Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead.
How is THAT for an important bit of history, that you can 
brag about?

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Suspect Flips Car, Keep Rolling During High-Speed Chase
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 17 in
1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets 
of Baltimore, MD. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. --- James Baldwin A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. --- Terry Pratchett ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Nina I was escorted to a wedding by my twenty-four-year-old bachelor son. He appeared unaffected by the ceremony until the bride and groom lighted a single candle with their candles and then blew out their own. With that he brightened and whispered, "I've never seen that done before." I whispered back, "You know what it means, don't you?" His response: "No more old flames?" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Here are Biblical bloopers from Sunday school students: FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT ------------------------------------------- In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, the Lord got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah. Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. He probably needed them to protect him from the 300 wives when they started arguing. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Malik Deshai Shoulders, 18 Ft Worth, Texas Suspect Flips Car, Keep Rolling During High-Speed Chase A driver fleeing a traffic stop flipped his vehicle several times, landed upright and continued to lead deputies on a high-speed chase before capture over the weekend, according the Kershaw County Sheriff’s Office. According to authorities, a Kershaw County deputy observed Malik Deshai Shoulders, 18, of Ft. Worth, Texas, driving at a speed of 105mph on Interstate 20 around 10 p.m. on Friday, When the deputy attempted to pull him over, Shoulders sped up and led the deputy on a high-speed chase toward Columbia, according the Sheriff’s Office. After exiting at US-601 and turning on to Lachicotte Road, Shoulders lost control of his car, flipping it 2 to 3 times before landing upright. A dash cam video shows the car getting back on theroad and continuing to drive toward US-1 in Lugoff. As Shoulders approached US-1, he attempted to make a right turn and once again lost control of his car, crossed US-1 and ended up in Raspberry Court strip mall, where his car eventually came to a stop, deputies say. At that point, Shoulders struggled with a deputy in an attempt to the stay in the car. Fighting with the cops will add a dumb-ass felony. After they finally removed him from the badly-damaged vehicle and arrested him, deputies say Shoulders told them he ran because he had marijuana in his car and didn’t have a driver’s license. Shoulders is charged with failure to stop for a blue light, possession of marijuana, no valid driver’s license and speeding in excess of 25mph over the limit. He remains in the Kershaw County Detention Center, where he awaits a bond hearing. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bernard Re: Does trading links help? Dear Webby Does trading links help to get a better listing in the search engines? Bernard Dear Bernard No, and Yes. If you are referring to trading links with a spam-slut from an unrelated site, then the answer is NO. The search engines will penalize and probably dump you. If you are talking about in-context links, where you are referring to a site that has deeper details or additional information about your topic, then the links count in your favor. Keep in mind that the search engines are spending Billions of dollars to be relevant and able to deliver exactly what the visitors are looking for. They don't like it at all when you listen to con-artists pretending to be Search Engine Optimizers and experiment with sleazy tricks to try to get around the Search Engine's quest for relevancy and accuracy. Unless you want to be lumped in with spammers and caught cheaters, just trash that spam and forget it. Have FUN! DearWebby
When the employees of a restaurant here attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then press the trigger to release the foam." Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In an open 45 gallon drum that was partially filled with water and carefully topped off with a layer of motor oil, then a layer of diesel, a big, smoky fire was burning quite lively. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?" In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin ... and slam-dunked the extinguisher into the fire.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Starting Seeds in the Snow By Donna [384 Posts, 399 Comments] A class showed us how to start seeds in the snow! Simply punch holes for air and drainage in an empty gallon container, slice it partially open, but not completely. Leave a small section as a 'hinge' (See photo.) Fill with seedling soil and seeds, tape lid closed, write the date and the seeds you planted in the jug and place OUTSIDE, by a wall for a little extra protection and close enough to check on them. When the weather warms up enough (check moisture through cap hole and gently sprinkle if it needs moisture.) The seeds will start sprouting themselves when their weather conditions are right! Plus they will be hardened for transplanting too! Think spring! Source: Penn State Extension Service
Coke
____________________________________________________ Why men wear earrings: A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my truck." ___________________________________________________
People are awesome! Best of the week 2017.
Latreesha went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered. "They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "Then I just use their last name!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 17

1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets
of Baltimore, MD. 

1865 Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating
and the Union Forces were moving in. 

1876 Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can
sardines. 

1878 In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone
exchange opened. It had 18 phones. 

1897 The National Congress of Mothers was organized in
Washington, DC, by Alice McLellan Birney and Phoebe Apperson
Hearst. It was the forerunner of the National PTA. 

1924 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the
100-yard freestyle. He did it with a time of 57-2/5 seconds
in Miami, FL. 

1933 Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years
after Chic Young’s popular strip first debuted. 

1934 The first high school automobile driver’s education
course was introduced in State College, PA. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll
began. U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944. 

1947 The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet
Union. 

1992 In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was
sentenced to life in prison. In November of 1994, he was
beaten to death in prison. 

1995 Colin Ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in
the December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings. He was
later sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 

1996 World chess champion Garry Kasparov beat the IBM
supercomputer "Deep Blue" in Philadelphia, PA. 

2017  smiled.


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How to get rid of duplicate files 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, February 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Virginia man gets life sentence for killing Harlem 
dad in 'monstrous' shooting
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 16 in
1804 A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the U.S.
Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken by
pirates. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone. --- Gladys Bronwyn Stern England and America are two countries separated by a common language. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Octogenarian who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told there wasn't anybody he could play with because they were already out on the course. He repeated several times that he really wanted to play. Finally the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and would give him a 12 stroke handicap. The 80 year old said, "I really don't need a handicap as I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps." And he did play well. Coming onto the 18th the old man had a long drive, but it landed in one of the sand traps around the hole. Shooting from the sand trap he hit a very high ball which landed on the green and rolled into the hole! The Pro walked over to the sand trap where his opponent was still standing. He said "Nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?" "I do!" replied the Octogenarian, "Please give me a hand." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A young lad and his mother were walking down the street one day, when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly, "Mother, Mother, look at that bowlegged man!" His mother immediately hushed him explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people. The next day the same thing happened, "Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!" The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying, "When we get home you'll be taught a lesson for this outburst." When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare, "Go to your room and read this book. You can't come out until you have finished it. Maybe you will learn something from this." A few days later they were walking down the same street when the boy spotted two bowlegged cowboys. And the boy said, "Hark! What manner of men are these, Who weareth their legs in parentheses?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bryan Rogers, 31, Virginia Virginia man gets life sentence for killing Harlem dad in 'monstrous' shooting A Manhattan judge threw the book at a Virginia man Wednesday for the "monstrous" murder of a Harlem father who died in his elderly mother's arms. "This was senseless, absolutely senseless. It's monstrous," Manhattan Supreme Court Justice A. Kirke Bartley told Bryan Rogers, 31, as he handed down a life sentence. After expressing condolences to the victim's family and telling them he meant "no disrespect," Rogers said, "If you all had told the truth, everything would have been better." The victim's brothers and son inhaled sharply in the audience, visibly stunned by Rogers’ accusation that they had lied on the witness stand in November when they said he was the aggressor. When Rogers took the stand, he testified that his girlfriend, Logan Wilson, fired the shots that killed her uncle, Todd Wilson, 48, in the hallway of a building in the Manhattanville Houses where the Wilson family had lived a long time. The judge disagreed with Rogers, accepting the testimony of family members who said the killer fired four shots into Wilson after the victim insisted that Rogers leave the apartment in the middle of the night because the family had to go to work in the morning. "You threw your life away each time you pulled the trigger — not once, not twice, not three times, but four times," the judge told Rogers. Bartley said he was touched by the testimony of Wilson's mother, who described having her youngest son die in her arms, and by the image of Wilson's teenage child having to "watch his father breathing his last breath." Assistant District Attorney Mark Dahl — who’d asked the judge to sentence Rogers to 25 years to life — read a long letter from the victim's niece, Logan Wilson, who detailed how Rogers abused her verbally, physically, mentally and emotionally for years prior to the August 2014 shooting. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: Duplicate files Dear Webby As I have upgraded my laptop every few years, I now have a great number of duplicate files and folders. Is there a way to find duplicate files and photos? Easily? Thank you. Steve Dear Steve There are hundreds of duplicate finders and de-duplicators available on the net. It seems every programming student has to write one or improve one and put his name on it. Some claim to compare pictures. Those are naturally very slow. The ones, that just compare file name and size, are quite fast. Here is one trick I use: Make a DUMP folder for receiving files. Use Everything Search from http://www.voidtools.com/. Yeah, verily I have recommended that program countless times. Tell it to search for pictures, and put *.jpg into the search line. The first time it indexes your drives, all of them, it takes a few minutes, especially if you have big drives. Then click on the first found JPG file, hit CTRL A to select ALL, then SHIFT-drag them all to your new DUMP directory. The first time it encounters a duplicate, Windows will squawk and ask you if you want to overwrite or skip or rename. I choose Overwrite. That gets rid of the duplicates in a hurry. You can, of course, rename the duplicates, but I found that a big waste of time. You will still have a lot of duplicates, especially from your email area. Look at the DUMP folder with your graphics program set to browse thumbnails. Tell it to SORT by size. That may take a while! When sorted, you will have thousands of the thilly Incredimail nuisance dodads and lines and buttons at the top. Click on the top one, hold down SHIFT and scoot down to where collectable pictures begin. CTRL Delete THAT selection. Then trim from the bottom up. A lot of the very large stuff is crap, that you don't really want to keep. Alternate like that, tag from the top down and from the bottom up. It is still a bit time consuming, but you are at the same time also weeding out stuff, that is not worth keeping. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Dana for this one: Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'" "It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a K Cup for Seed Starter To start your new plants use a K cup after drinking your coffee. Add a little dirt to your K cup and add your seed. The cup already has a hole in the bottom which is perfect for draining.
foot puppets
____________________________________________________ After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussingthe results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained six new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our ten biggest trouble makers!" ___________________________________________________
Renaissance paintings photo shopped into the present.
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are inde- pendent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 16

1804 A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the U.S.
Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken by
pirates. 

1857 The National Deaf Mute College was incorporated in
Washington, DC. It was the first school in the world for
advanced education of the deaf. The school was later renamed
Gallaudet College. 

1862 During the U.S. Civil War, about 14,000 Confederate
soldiers surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Fort
Donelson, TN. 

1868 The Jolly Corks organization, in New York City, changed
it name to the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks
(BPOE). 

1883 "Ladies Home Journal" began publication. 

1914 The first airplane flight between Los Angeles and San
Francisco took place. 

1918 Lithuania proclaimed its independence. 

1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Egyptian
Pharaoh Tutankhamen. The next day he entered the chamber
with several invited guests. He had originally found the
tomb on November 4, 1922. 

1932 The first fruit tree patent was issued to James E.
Markham for a peach tree which ripens later than other
varieties. 

1937 Wallace H. Carothers received a patent for nylon.
Carothers was a research chemist for Du Pont. 

1938 The U.S. Federal Crop Insurance program was authorized.

1945 During World War II, U.S. troops landed on the island
of Corregidor in the Philippines. 

1946 The first commercially designed helicopter was tested
in Connecticut. 

1948 NBC-TV began airing its first nightly newscast, "The
Camel Newsreel Theatre", which consisted of Fox Movietone
newsreels. 

1858 The ironing board was patented by William Vandenburg
and James Harvey. 

1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow
of President Fulgencio Batista. 

1960 The U.S.S. Triton began the first circumnavigation of
the globe under water. The trip ended on May 10. 

1968 In the U.S., the first 911 emergency telephone system
was inaugurated in Haleyville, AL. 

1970 Joe Frazier began his reign as the undefeated
heavyweight world champion when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis
in five rounds. He lost the title on January 22, 1973, when
he lost for the first time in his professional career to
George Foreman. 

1985 "Kojak" returned to network television after an absence
of seven years with the CBS-TV special, "Kojak: The Belarus
File." 

1987 John Demjanjuk went on trial in Jerusalem. He was
accused of being "Ivan the Terrible", a guard at the
Treblinka concentration camp. He was convicted, but the
Israeli Supreme Court overturned the ruling when the real
"Ivan the Terrible" showed up.  

1989 Investigators in Lockerbie, Scotland, announced that a
bomb hidden inside a radio-cassette player was the reason
that Pan Am Flight 103 was brought down the previous
December. All 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground were
killed. 

1999 A bomb exploded at the government headquarters in
Uzbekistan. Gunfire followed the incident. The event
apparently was an attempt on the life of President Islam
Karimov. 

1999 Kurds seized embassies and held hostages across Europe
following Turkey's arrest of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah
Ocalan. 

1999 Testimony began in the Jasper, TX, trial of John
William King. He was charged with murder in the gruesome
dragging death of James Byrd Jr. King was later convicted
and sentenced to death. 

2002 The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested
after dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds
and scattered around in the surrounding woods. 

2005 The Kyoto global warming pact went into effect in 140
nations. 

2005 The NHL announced the cancellation of the 2004-2005
season due to a labor dispute. It was the first time a major
sports league in North America lost an entire season to a
labor dispute.

2017  smiled.


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Huge fonts and icons after repair 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, February 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
MMA fighter Roshaun Jones arrested for double murder
during armed robbery
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 14 in
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca
Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive
nuclear waste. After a few Billion dollars worth of work had
been done, the Democrats stopped the project.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. --- Herbert Spencer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One time during the underway watch the Officer Of the Day decided to test my seamanship. "What would you do if the forward watch fell off the side of the ship?" "Easy, sir, I'd call 'Man Overboard' and follow the Man Overboard procedures." "What would you do if an officer fell overboard?" "Hmmm," I said, "Which one, sir?" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Tina decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Fifteen," said Buffy. So the girl bought the fifteen rolls of paper and did the job, but she had seven rolls left over. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got seven left over!" "Yeah!" said Buffy. "I did too." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Roshaun Jones, 33, Del Mar, Oklahoma MMA fighter Roshaun Jones arrested for double murder during armed robbery Professional fighter Roshaun Jones was arrested and charged with two counts of first-degree murder on Thursday in Oklahoma. Police believe Jones, who last fought at a Bellator event in 2015, shot and killed two people in a botched armed robbery at the Laundry Station in Del Mar on Monday. One of the victims, Nekia Jackson, was on shift as the day manager of the establishment, while the other, 60-year-old Russ Roberts, was a customer who happened to be in the store when Jones tried to rob it. Roberts tried to help Jackson while the robbery was happening when Jones allegedly turned the gun on them both, according to KFOR. Another customer walked in later to the pair of dead bodies and called the police. The U.S. Marshals service assisted in the manhunt for Jones earlier in the week and he was eventually captured by authorities in Midwest City, Okla. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rose Re: Huge fonts after repair Dear Webby After I got my computer back from the repair place for a minor problem, I noticed all my Icons , writing and pages where huge. I went to start, properties,control panel and looked for the Icon that said display checked and looked for the large Icon to remove a checked sign, but it was not checked. Is there another way to get the print back to normal? Thank you for your help. Rose Dear Rose Yes, it's hard to get decent help these days. Probably the goof who messed with your machine did a blind re-install without checking how horrible things looked. Just right-click on the desktop Properties Settings and then increase the resolution. That shrinks the icons and everything. I use 1600 x 1200 on this machine, a bit more on some of the other ones. Just pump it up one step at a time until it looks comfortable. Then, after you ENTER out of that, clcik on an empty spot on the desktop, hold down CTRL and roll the scroll wheel on the mouse. Roll it away from you to make the icons larger, roll it towards you to make them smaller. Have FUN! DearWebby
A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test. "How does this glass of water look to you?" Person 1: It is half empty. Student writes 'pessimist' in his report. Person 2 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?" Person 2: It is half full. Student writes 'optimist' in his report. Person 3 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?" Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there. The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor. "Oh them!", the professor says, "I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sweet Potato Chocolate Frosting By Donna [384 Posts, 399 Comments] Just two ingredients make a delicious frosting that will get one more vegetable into your family, while tasting absolutely decadent! No butter and no added sugar. Ingredients: 1 lb sweet potatoes 12 oz milk chocolate chips Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 10 minutes in the microwave Total Time: 15 minutes Yield: frosting for approximately 8 cupcakes Steps: Place clean sweet potatoes on a plate and cover with another plate. Place in the microwave and cook on high for 5-6 minutes (or according to your microwave instructions.) Check them for softness and microwave at 4 minutes increments until soft and cooked. Mine were done in 10 minutes. Let the sweet potatoes sit a little bit, so you don't burn yourself. Then cut them open and scrape the center out into a small food processor and puree for 1 to 2 minutes. Add the chocolate while the sweet potatoes are still warm to help them melt. If desired while letting the potatoes cool, you could always put the chocolate bits into a covered bowl in the microwave to pre-melt them. I would heat it at 1 minute increments and stop as soon as they are soft, but not losing their shape. Puree the mix together for a minute. That's it! Spread on to cool cupcakes, cake or even fresh strawberries. Serve and enjoy!
who doesn't want to hug a teddy bear
____________________________________________________ Success is... At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is having friends. At age 16 success is having a drivers license. At age 20 success is having sex. At age 35 success is having money. At age 50 success is having money. At age 60 success is having sex. At age 70 success is having a drivers license. At age 75 success is having friends. At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants. ___________________________________________________
Winners of the National Geographic International Photography Contest for kids.
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours,they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?" "She just died and left me everything."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 15
1758 Mustard was advertised for the first time in America. 

1764 The city of St. Louis was established. 

1799 Printed ballots were authorized for use in elections in
the state of Pennsylvania. 

1842 Adhesive postage stamps were used for the first time by
the City Dispatch Post (Office) in New York City. 

1879 U.S. President Hayes signed a bill that allowed female
attorneys to argue cases before the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1898 The USS Maine sank when it exploded in Havana Harbor
for unknown reasons. More than 260 crew members were killed.


1900 The British threaten to use natives in their war with
the Boers. 

1903 Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced
the first teddy bear in America. 

1933 U.S. President-elect Franklin Roosevelt escaped an
assination attempt in Miami. Chicago Mayor Anton J. Cermak
was killed in the attack. 

1942 During World War II, Singapore surrendered to the
Japanese. 

1961 A Boeing 707 crashed in Belgium killing 73 people. 

1965 Canada displayed its new red and white maple leaf flag.
The flag was to replace the old Red Ensign standard. 

1982 During a storm, the Ocean Ranger, a drilling rig, sank
off the coast of Newfoundland. 84 men were killed. 

1985 The Center for Disease Control reported that more than
half of all nine-year-olds in the U.S. showed no sign of
tooth decay. 

1989 After nine years of intervention, the Soviet Union
announced that the remainder of its troops had left
Afghanistan. 

1991 The leaders of Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland
signed the Visegard agreement, in which they pledged to
cooperate in transforming thier countries to free-market
economies. 

1995 The FBI arrested Kevin Mitnick and charged him with
cracking security in some of the nation's most protected
computers. He served five years in jail. 

2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca
Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive
nuclear waste. After a few Billion dollars worth of work had
been done, the Democrats stopped the project.

2017  smiled.


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404 and 500 Errors 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, February 14
Happy Valentines Day!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Boyfriend's comment about girlfriend's 'OK' spaghetti dinner
 leads to hours-long standoff with N.H. police
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 14 in
1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in
Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone
were killed. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for her and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together. "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I just spent ten days of 'quality time' in a compact car with this man. I know what I'm requesting." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bob used to be a salesman, but he got tired of his job, gave it up and became a policeman. Several months later, I asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong, no matter whether he actually is or not." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jodi Ecklund, 33, Merrimack, N.H Boyfriend's comment about girlfriend's 'OK' spaghetti dinner leads to hours-long standoff with N.H. police Jodi Ecklund of Merrimack, N.H., barricaded herself inside her apartment with a Glock .9-mm and a M4 assault rifle after her live-in boyfriend told her that her spaghetti dinner was "OK," NH1 reports. Before fleeing the apartment and calling police, Jason Martin was allegedly punched in the face and arm by his girlfriend, who locked the door once he left. When officers with the Merrimack Police Department arrived, Ecklund allegedly warned officers she would kill them if they entered her residence. They did not like that! As the standoff continued Saturday afternoon, the piqued provider of pasta began destroying items inside the apartment, even going so far as to launch some of Martin's possessions out a window to the parking lot below. Finally, after several hours, authorities gained access to the apartment and took Ecklund into custody. She has since been charged with six felonies, including criminal mischief, criminal threatening and reckless conduct, as well as three misdemeanor counts of domestic violence. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mike Re: 404 or 500 errors Dear Webby I have a problem with my Internet browser I get when proceeding to site error 404 forbidding area or error 500 not allowed to view this page .... my question is how do fix this, in laymen's terms Mike Dear Mike That is not your browser's fault. You see those errors if the webmaster forgot to upload the page you are looking for or if there is a server error. It could also be that there is a typo in the link that you used to get to that site. You can write to the webmaster of that site and ask for clarification. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Susan for this one: I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Fabric Softener Dispenser By jellybeans64 [3 Posts, 12 Comments] Best Answer Did you try pouring some white vinegar into it a few times? This may work. I swear by the stuff! Terri
" target="_blank" >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zfzT7QfLZc"> the vegetarian's nightmare
____________________________________________________ Job Applicant Terminology and Translation: "I know how to deal with stressful situations" means: I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. "I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication and organizational skills" means: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do. "I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization" means: I've used Microsoft Word. "My pertinent work experience includes" means: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had. "I take pride in my work" means: I blame others for my mistakes. "I'm balanced and centered" means: I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunchroom. "I have a sense of humor" means: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly. "I'm willing to relocate" means: As I leave San Quentin, any where's better. "I'm extremely professional" means: I carry a Day-Timer. "My background and skills match your requirements" means: You're probably looking for someone more experienced. "I am adaptable" means: I've changed jobs a lot. "I am on the go" means: I'm never at my desk. "I am honest and reliable." means My time sheets are as phoney as the foam in the bra. "I am family oriented and responsible." means I expect time off with pay for taking kids to the dentist, doctor, zoo and Gramma. "I'm highly motivated to succeed" means: The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there. "I am friendly and cooperative." means I spread on Interview day, and to the end of probation if absolutely necessary. "I am very community oriented." means I write and print the newsletters for seven clubs on company paper, during working hours. "I have formal training" means: I'm a college dropout. "I have formal training and some certificates." means I dropped out after I knew enough WordPerfect to print up my own certificates. "I have lots of informal training from associating with experts in the field." means I once had a seat on the plane beside an expert. "I interact well with co-workers" means: I routinely accuse coworkers of sexual harassment if I don't get my way. "I am perficint in hendling coraspondince perfesionaly." Not suitable for anything involving a keyboard. "I am a fsat typsit nad do wel lat mulitaksing." means Dyslexic and not smart enough to use a spell-checker. "Thank you for your time and consideration" means: The Manpower booklet said to put that at the end. ----------------------- Do we bother reading resumes ? Yep. AFTER a quick refresher glance at this translator list. ___________________________________________________
More photos. A slide show of the beautiful Harbin Ice and Snow Sculpture Festival in China.
Golf Tips: 1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2. Form a loose grip. 3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 8. Don't stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet please, while others are preparing to go. 10. Don't take extra strokes. Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside and tee off.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 14

1778 The Stars and Stripes was carried to a foreign port, in
France, for the first time. It was aboard the American ship
Ranger. 

1803 Moses Coates received a patent for the apple parer. 

1849 The first photograph of a U.S. President, while in
office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City.
President James Polk was the subject of the picture. 

1876 Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a patent
for the telephone. It was officially issued on March 7,
1876. 

1889 In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip to
the east. 

1899 The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use in
federal elections. 

1900 Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland in
response to an international petition for Finland's freedom.


1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange
Free State with 20,000 troops. 

1912 The first American diesel engine submarine was
commissioned in Groton, CT. 

1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in
Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone
were killed. 

1932 The U.S. won the first bobsled competition at the
Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, NY. 

1940 The first porpoise born in captivity arrived at
Marineland in Florida. 

1945 Peru, Paraguay, Chile and Ecuador joined the United
Nations. 

1946 ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer)
was unveiled. The device, built at the University of
Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose
electronic computer. 

1961 Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely,
CA. 

1962 U.S. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy gave a tour of the
White House on television. 

1968 The fourth Madison Square Gardens opened. 

1979 Adolph Dubs, the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan, was
kidnapped in Kabul by Muslim extremists. He was killed in a
shootout between his abductors and police. 

1985 Cable News Network (CNN) reporter Jeremy Levin was
freed. He had been being held in Lebanon by extremists. 

1989 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill
Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses." 

1989 The first satellite of the Global Positioning System
was placed into orbit around Earth. 

1989 Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the
government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a
result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster. 

1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery began a
series of spacewalks that were required to overhaul the
Hubble Space Telescope. 

1998 U.S. authorities officially announced that Eric Rudolph
was a suspect in a bombing of an abortion clinic in Alabama.


2002 Sylvester Stallone filed a lawsuit against Kenneth
Starr. The suit alleged that Starr had given bad advice
about selling Planet Hollywood stock. 

2003 In Madrid, Spain, a ceramic plate with a bullfighting
motif painted by Pablo Picasso in 1949 was stolen from an
art show. The plate was on sale for $12,400. 

2005 The video-sharing website YouTube was activated. 

2017  smiled.


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Merging mail from two different machines 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, February 13

Thanks, Bill!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Killer strangled 4-year-old son after boy spotted him
murdering his mother, a former teacher who had been 
the killer's lover.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 13 in
1945 At the end of World War II, Allied aircraft began
bombing the disarmed German city of Dresden and reduced it
to rubble in what they called Psychologigal Warfare. It did
not work because the bombing was too thorough and nobody
left to tell the tale. It was not until the book and movie
"Slaughterhouse Five" decades later, that most of the
Germans found out about it.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Adventure is not outside man; it is within. --- George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Shortly after returning home from a trip to Sea World in Florida, a friend went shopping for swimsuits with her children. When she emerged from the dressing room in a contrasting black-and-white suit, her four-year-old son, exclaimed his approval: "Oh, Mommy, that's perfect! You look just like Shamu!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Isaac Infante, 23, Harlem, NY Killer strangled 4-year-old son after boy spotted him murdering his mother, a former teacher who had been the killer's lover. The confessed killer of an ex-girlfriend in her Harlem home strangled their 4-year-old son when he stumbled onto the crime scene, police sources told the Daily News. Miguel Barahona was in the bathroom when an enraged Isaac Infante attacked Felicia Barahona, and the killer was standing over her lifeless body when the little boy emerged, the sources said. Duran then choked his helpless son to death, placing the boy’s body into the bathtub before fleeing the apartment during the Dec. 22 rampage, the sources said Wednesday. “The defendant detailed the taking of a cord and taking it to (Barahona’s) neck until she turned blue and the life drained from her body,” said Assistant District Attorney Nicole Blumberg. “The unsuspecting child had no idea he would be the defendant’s next victim.” Infante, 23, faces two counts of first-degree murder in the double-homicide. He admitted entering the apartment with the intention of murdering his ex-lover, sources said. He was remanded without bail after the hearing. Infante and Barahona were lovers while Infante was a high school student and she was his teacher, with the woman delivering their child in August 2012. Her body, a telephone cord wrapped around her throat, was found four days later on Monday morning — with Infante charged a day later. The superintendent at Barahona’s apartment smelled a stench seeping from her apartment into the hallway Monday, put down his mop and went out on the fire escape to look inside, the sources said. He spied Barahona, 36, on the floor and called 911, with cops finding her and then discovering the little boy face down in the bathtub, cops said. Ten people had called 911 about the death smell, sources said. Infante, of Bethlehem, Pa., left the apartment door unlocked when he left early Monday morning, the sources said. The murder suspect was captured on security video from a neighboring apartment both arriving Sunday night and then departing about three hours later. He returned home to Bethlehem after the killings. Infante turned himself into police after his sister, Elizabeth, showed cops a photo of the suspect in a red hooded sweatshirt — the same one he wore to the apartment, sources said. Infante left the sweatshirt behind after the killings, donning a scarf that was once a gift from Barahona, the sources said. According to cops, Infante was angry about paying child support for the boy he fathered back when he was a student in Barahona’s science class at DeWitt Clinton High School in the Bronx. The sources indicated that he was also angry because Barahona fed their child fast food rather than making him meals, and confessed to knocking her to the floor before killing her with the cord. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maryanne Re: Merging mail from different machines Dear Webby I replaced my old computer at year end, but kept using the old one for almost a month for mail. How can I pull that mail across to the new one without overwriting the mailboxes that I have there with the February stuff in it? Thanks Maryanne Dear Maryanne Go to the old machine and use your email program to rename the mailboxes that you want. For example rename "Recipes" to "Recipes-1". Then shut down the mail program on both machines and copy the Recipes-1" mailbox to the new computer, right beside where you find "Recipes". Most email programs have TWO files for each mailbox, for example IN.mbx and IN.toc . Some name them slightly different. You need both. When you start up the mail program, you will see both "Recipes" and "Recipes-1". Now you can just drag the mails, that you want to keep, from one mailbox to another. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Mona: When my son first start dating he said, "I want to marry a good woman, a smart woman, one who'll be a good mother to our kids, a woman who will make me happy." I told him he'd better make up his mind.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fruity Valentine Gelatin By joanWZ [33 Posts, 9 Comments] It's a fruity dessert for Valentine's Day! Not just for boyfriends and girlfriends but because I am a mom, for the whole family. I especially made this recipe for my two kids. Prep Time: 3 mins. Cook Time: 5 mins. Total Time: 10 mins. It's a fruity dessert for Valentine's Day! Not just for boyfriends and girlfriends but because I am a mom, for the whole family. I especially made this recipe for my two kids. Prep Time: 3 mins. Cook Time: 5 mins. Total Time: 10 mins. Fruity Valentine Gelatin Ingredients: 3 cups water 1 sachet gelatin 1 cup white sugar 2 slices papaya, cut into small slices (or any fruit you want) 2 Tbsp sprinkles Steps: In a pan on low heat, add water and sachet of gelatin. Stir for 2 minutes on low heat. After 2 minutes add the sugar. Then, prepare the mold for the gelatin, and place the cut papaya fruit. After 5 minutes of stirring pour mixture through a strainer into the mold. This will eliminate lumps in the gelatin. Put it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Remove from mold. Decorate with sprinkles, chocolate chips, honey or anything you like. It is now ready to serve!
Guang Dong - Pas de deux - LE PLUS GRAND CABARET DU MONDE
____________________________________________________ My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods. "Listen to me!" his mother, said sharply. "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?" Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, "Okay, Disney World." ___________________________________________________
The Harbin Ice Festival and other news from around the world.
>From Freddie B. It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What did he do?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 13
1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the
fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. 

1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the
Inquisition. 

1875 Mrs. Edna Kanouse gave birth to America’s first
quintuplets. All five of the baby boys died within two
weeks. 

1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison
Effect for the first time. 

1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by
Reichstag, in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in
favor of Germany and the U.S. 

1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued
neutrality of Switzerland. 

1920 The National Negro Baseball League was organized. 

1935 In Flemington, New Jersey, a jury found Bruno Richard
Hauptmann guilty of the kidnapping and death of the infant
son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. Hauptmann was later
executed for the crimes. 

1945 At the end of World War II, the Soviets captured
Budapest, Hungary, from the German army. 

1945 At the end of World War II, Allied aircraft began
bombing the disarmed German city of Dresden and reduced it
to rubble in what they called Psychologigal Warfare. It did
not work because the bombing was too thorough and nobody
left to tell the tale. It was not until the book and movie
"Slaughterhouse Five" decades later, that most of the
Germans found out about it.

1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls. 

1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb. 

1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed
by U.S. air and artillery support. 

1984 Konstantin Chernenko was chosen to be general secretary
of the Soviet Communist Party's Central Committee,
succeeding the late Yuri Andropov. 

1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies
forged an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany
on a two-stage formula to reunite Germany. 

1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided
bombs that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad.
U.S. officials identified the facility as a military
installation, but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb
shelter. 

1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the
Hubble Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up
allowed the telescope to see further into the universe. 

1999 A bomb exploded just outside a government-owned bank in
southern Kosovo. Nine people were killed. 

2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts"
comic strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day
before. 

2001 El Savador was hit with an earthquake that measured 6.6
on the Richter Scale. At least 400 people were killed. 

2002 In Alexandria, VA, John Walker Lindh pled innocent to a
10-count federal indictment. He was charged with conspiring
to kill Americans and aiding Osama bin Laden's terrorist
network. 

2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an
honorary knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. 

2008 Roger Clemens denied having taken performance-enhancing
drugs in testimony before Congress. 

2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike.

2017  smiled.


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Merging mail from two different machines 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, February 12

Today in
2013 North Korea conducted its third underground nuclear
test. 
in 2017 North Korea conducted another ballistic missile
launch.

So what? Even though the left wing media rarely mentions it,
Japan routinely hauls 5 ton loads of supplies to the space
station. Precisely to the door. They have all kinds of
rocket capabilities, know how to make bombs, and could
easily unload the scrap from the broken powerplants as
bombs. The same goes for South Korea. Like Japan, they don't
brag about what kind of armament they have, but you can be
assured that it is more than shiploads of Subarus and
industrial robots and computers. 

If North Korea gets too uppity and does more than bragging
outside the bar, somebody will reset them back to the stone
age.

In the meantime, it is good, that they squander their meagre
resources on building nukes at 2 BILLION dollars each. That
keeps them broke.

The same goes for Iran.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Estibaliz Carranza, aka the “Ice Cream Killer,” is too cold-
blooded for a female prison, was moved to a prison for men.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 11 in
1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in 
the U.S. to post metric distance signs. 
strike against them. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was a horrible automobile crash and the driver of the car lay on the side of the road dying. A passerby said to him kindly, "Why don't you say a prayer?" "I don't know any," said the stricken man. "Has anybody had any contact with religion?" the guy asked the people standing around. "As a boy we used to live next to a Catholic Church," one guy admitted. "That's it!" said the well-wisher. "Just repeat what you heard in the church!" "Okay," then he sang out: "Under the B: 10, Under the I: 25, Under the N: 64, Under the G,12, Under the O, 7, BINGO!" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bunny and Bob, two frequent users of a chat room, discovered that they had a lot in common. Eventually, they abandoned the chat room for a more intimate correspondence. After months of virtual kinkiness, the two decided to meet each other face-to-face at a small cafe. Bunny arrived a little late. One customer, a short, frail man with an eye patch, sat at the back of the cafe. "Are you Bob?" asked Bunny. "Yes I am," said Bob. "Unbelievable!" Bunny exclaimed. "You told me that you were tall, dark and handsome." "How do you think I feel?" Bob asked, his face turning red. "You told me that you were skinny, blonde, and... female!" ______________________________________________________ Harbin, China Ice Festival ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Estibaliz Carranza, 38, Asten jail, Austria Dangerous female ‘Ice Cream Killer’ moved to all-male prison in Austria. Estibaliz Carranza, aka the “Ice Cream Killer,” is too cold- blooded for a female prison, was moved to a prison for men. Carranza, 38, who brutally murdered her husband and a lover in 2008 after they failed to get her pregnant, is being moved to a special center in Asten, Austria. Officials are citing the danger she poses as the reason. She killed both men, cut them up with a chainsaw and hid them in an ice cream freezer at the parlor she owned, masking the smell with air freshener, Metro reports. The Mexican-born-Spaniard will be housed at a facility currently holding 91 male prisoners, with 13 female inmates en route there. Also stationed at the new destination are 45 nurses, 18 therapists, four doctors and eight prison guards. The facility — featuring a lounge and TV area — allows for free movement and has single and double rooms, along with cooking amenities. Court psychologist Heidi Kastner, who testified during the earlier trial, said that Carranza was accountable for her actions and that she had a high chance of relapse, Metro writes. The psychologist had also suggested therapy would not work for the killer. In a joint statement, her lawyers, Rudolf Mayer and Werner Tomanek, said, “It is important that our client can finally be comprehensively treated.” Mayer and Tomanek are ultimately seeking to get Carranza moved to a prison in her native Spain. However, the inmate bears the burden of having to prove herself “cured.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maryanne Re: Merging mail from different machines Dear Webby I replaced my old computer at year end, but kept using the old one for almost a month for mail. How can I pull that mail across to the new one without overwriting the mailboxes that I have there with the February stuff in it? Thanks Maryanne Dear Maryanne Go to the old machine and use your email program to rename the mailboxes that you want. For example rename "Recipes" to "Recipes-1". Then shut down the mail program on both machines and copy the Recipes-1" mailbox to the new computer, right beside where you find "Recipes". Most email programs have TWO files for each mailbox, for example IN.mbx and IN.toc . Some name them slightly different. You need both. When you start up the mail program, you will see both "Recipes" and "Recipes-1". Now you can just transfer the mails you want from one mailbox to another. Have FUN! DearWebby
Lisa reported for her final liberal arts examination, which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet, Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she was finished with the exam, whereas the rest of the class was sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she began to desperately throw the coin, mutter and sweat. The moderator was a little confused, so he approached her and asked what she was doing. She said, "I finished the exam in half an hour, so I thought I would go back and recheck my answers."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fruity Valentine Gelatin By joanWZ [33 Posts, 9 Comments] It's a fruity dessert for Valentine's Day! Not just for boyfriends and girlfriends but because I am a mom, for the whole family. I especially made this recipe for my two kids. Prep Time: 3 mins. Cook Time: 5 mins. Total Time: 10 mins. It's a fruity dessert for Valentine's Day! Not just for boyfriends and girlfriends but because I am a mom, for the whole family. I especially made this recipe for my two kids. Prep Time: 3 mins. Cook Time: 5 mins. Total Time: 10 mins. Fruity Valentine Gelatin Ingredients: 3 cups water 1 sachet gelatin 1 cup white sugar 2 slices papaya, cut into small slices (or any fruit you want) 2 Tbsp sprinkles Steps: In a pan on low heat, add water and sachet of gelatin. Stir for 2 minutes on low heat. After 2 minutes add the sugar. Then, prepare the mold for the gelatin, and place the cut papaya fruit. After 5 minutes of stirring pour mixture through a strainer into the mold. This will eliminate lumps in the gelatin. Put it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Remove from mold. Decorate with sprinkles, chocolate chips, honey or anything you like. It is now ready to serve!
Classical musical mashup
____________________________________________________ A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally, the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, this house wouldn't be here!" Just as upset, the wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here either." ___________________________________________________
Shaded pants...if that's your thing go for it!
When a couple arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, they were told the keys had been locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As the wife watched from the passenger side, she instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," she announced to the technician, "it's open!" The mechanic said, "I know. I already got that side."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 12
1541 The city of Santiago, Chile was founded. 

1554 Lady Jane Grey was beheaded after being charged with
treason. She had claimed the throne of England for only nine
days. 

1733 Savannah, GA, was founded by English colonist James
Oglethorpe. 

1870 In the Utah Territory, women gained the right to vote. 

1878 Frederick W. Thayer patented the baseball catcher’s
mask. 

1879 The first artificial ice rink opened in North America.
It was at Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY. 

1907 A collision of the steamer Larchmont and a schooner
resulted in the death of more than 300 people. The incident
occurred off New England's Block Island. 

1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored
People (NAACP) was founded. 

1912 China's boy emperor Hsuan T'ung announced that he was
abdicating, ending the Manchu Ch'ing dynasty. Subsequently,
the Republic of China was established. 

1918 All theatres in New York City were shut down in an
effort to conserve coal for WWI. 

1940 Mutual Radio presented the first broadcast of the radio
play "The Adventures of Superman." 

1971 James Cash (J.C.) Penney died at the age of 95. The
company closed for business for one-half day as a memorial
to the company's founder. 

1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in
the U.S. to post metric distance signs. 

1973 American prisoners of war were released for the first
time during the Vietnam conflict. 

1993 In Liverpool, England, a 2-year-old boy, James Bulger,
was lured away from his mother at a shopping mall and beaten
to death. Two ten-year-old boys were responsible. 

1998 A U.S. federal judge declared that the presidential
line-item veto was unconstitutional. 

2001 The space probe NEAR landed on the asteroid Eros. It
was the first time that any craft had landed on a small
space rock. 

2002 Kenneth Lay, former Enron CEO, exercised his
constitutional rights and refused to testify to the U.S.
Congress about the collapse of Enron. 

2002 The trial of former Yugoslav President Slobodan
Milosevic began at the U.N. tribunal in The Hague. Milosevic
was accused of war crimes during the Balkan wars of the
1990s. 

2002 Pakistan charged three men in connection with the
kidnapping of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in
Karachi. 

2002 Princess Stephanie of Monaco and Franco Knie won a
defamation-of-character lawsuit against the Swiss magazine
"Facts." The case involved a photomontage created by the
magazine. 

2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in
violation of international treaties. The complaint was sent
to the Security Council. 

2004 Mattel announced that "Barbie" and "Ken" were breaking
up. The dolls had met on the set of their first television
commercial together in 1961. 

2013 North Korea conducted its third underground nuclear
test. 

2017 North Korea conducted another ballistic missile launch.

2017  smiled.


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Eudora 7 suddenly has certificate problems 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, February 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Oklahoma grandmother accused of dressing as witch 
to abuse kids pleaded guilty
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 11 in
1937 General Motors agreed to recognize the United
Automobile Workers Union, which ended the current sit-down
strike against them. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Nine out of ten people who change their minds are wrong the second time too. --- Socratex One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. --- Oscar Wilde ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The sergeant takes Piet to a roadblock. He explains that there is a curfew on and everybody must be in their homes by seven. If he sees anyone on the streets after 7pm he must shoot them. At 5:30 the sergeant hears a shot and runs out to see what has happened. There stands Piet with a smoking rifle and a few hundred yards up the street lies a corpse. The sergeant does his nut - he rants and raves and shouts "Seven a bloody clock I said! It's only half past bloody five now!". "Calm down Sarge", says Piet, "I know this guy. I know where he lives. There is no way he would have made it home by seven." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ This one came back via Noella: Never bring plants into the house. Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was, slipped with his wet feet on the vinyl floor and crashed into the big stereo. When he was upright again, she told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he was put into the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and his right hand pumping on her ample left boob, slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed 12 stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the bloody and unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night. That's when he shot her. ______________________________________________________ Red Knobbed Hornbill, Indonesia From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Geneva Robinson, 51, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Oklahoma grandmother accused of dressing as witch to abuse kids pleaded guilty An Oklahoma City grandmother has pleaded guilty to abusing her 7-year-old granddaughter in numerous ways, including terrorizing her by dressing as a witch. On Thursday, 51-year-old Geneva Robinson admitted in court that she engaged in several felony counts of abuse on the girl. These included pinching her with pliers, fracturing her pubic bone with a kick, cutting off her hair while she slept and forcing her to sleep outside with the dogs. A 6-year-old child was also mentioned in the court affidavit, according to local station KFOR-TV. There were two other children in the family, but they were not mentioned in the court case. Robinson had custody of the four kids for about a year after the children’s parents split up, according to The Oklahoman newspaper. Robinson was arrested in October 2014 after she took the child to a hospital claiming she could not control the girl anymore. Police were called because the girl looked malnourished and had burns and bruises all over her body, according to KFOR. The victim’s ankles had cuts that were infected and her wrists “had the appearance of possibly being bound,” according to the police report. Prosecutors said that Robinson engaged in these acts of abuse while dressed as a witch named Nelda, The Oklahoman reported. Her 31-year-old boyfriend, Joshua Granger, reportedly would wear a demon costume and call himself Coogro. Granger pleaded guilty to one count for assisting and “causing mental injury” to the girl, according to The Associated Press. According to a court document obtained by The Oklahoman, the victim told a counselor that Nelda “goes into” her grandmother and makes her “do mean things,” and she said “Nelda eats bad kids.” Robinson told the court Thursday that she is being treated for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia while in jail and that she was treated for mental illness in the 1970s in Texas. Both Robinson and Granger will be sentenced March 28. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Eudora 7 suddenly has certificate problems Dear Webby I'm back with another problem. The Eudora 7 in my notebook will not check mail because of a certificate problem. I did fix this a while ago in my PC, by getting certificates approved, But I can't remember how. Can you help me once again? Thanks. Bill Dear Bill Sounds like Cottage Country Net updated their server certificate and did not notify their victims. With Eudora #7 that causes problems. Here is the answer: You need to tell Eudora to add the new certificate to the list of trusted certificates. In the personalities window, right-click on the personality and select "properties" Go to the "incoming mail" tab. Click on the "last SSL info" button at the bottom. Click on the "certificate manager" button. The certificate in question should come up selected. If there is a + button next to it, click on that. Repeat if necessary until you get to the bottom level. Select that certificate then click on the button to add it to the trusted certificates. That should solve the problem. If you come onto Skype, I can slide Version 6.2.5.6 to you. That is the last of the good "Legacy" versions. My Skype handle is, of course: dearwebby Have FUN! DearWebby
Two women were chatting as they got on the elevator in a downtown office building. One of them said said, "Of course my ultimate fantasy has always been to have two men at once." There was complete silence as every passenger in the crowded car slowly turned to look at her. She laughed and continued, "One to do the cooking, the other to do the cleaning."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Healthy Bean Soup By Judy Pariser S. [238 Posts, 907 Comments] We were snowed in today, so I made this soup to warm us up after shoveling. The original recipe required soaking the dried beans, and adding ingredients partway through the cooking. The slow cooker allowed me to put all the ingredients in, and go about my day. The soup is delicious, and the house smells divine! Leftovers freeze well for future busy days. Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 8 hours Total Time: 8 hours, 15 minutes Yield: 8-10 bowls Source: Adapted from Prevention Magazine Ingredients: 1 lb bag dried beans (Northern, pinto or black beans) 6 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth 4 cups water 1 med onion, finely chopped 2 ribs celery, chopped 1 carrot, finely chopped 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 bay leaf 3 Tbsp tomato paste ½ tsp salt ½ tsp ground black pepper Steps: Rinse the beans in a colander. Chop the vegetables. Put everything into the slow cooker. Mix together. Add a bay leaf. Cook on low for about 8 hours. Remove the bay leaf. Eat as is, or use an immersion blender to blend to desired smoothness. Personally, I don't buy broth or stock. I just use a heaping teaaspoon of beef-vegetable or Minestrone soup mix from the Bulk Barn. Unlike store bought broth or stock, it does not have any phony taste enhancers in it. There is even a kosher sign on the bin. I am not religious, but that sign tells me that the ingredients are all inspected and OK'd by independent people, who are concerned about quality, not profits. While living in the Yukon I got used to add some chopped, wood-smoked bacon for the fat to balance the beans. It's not that cold here in Alberta, but I still like the flavor, that even a few small bits of bacon adds. Try the thick sliced, wood smoked Mennonite bacon. It is firm and dry, not like the liquid smoke dipped brand name bacon. You need a lot less because the flavor is much stronger. By the way, soaking the beans in cold water for an hour or more before you rinse them, is claimed to reduce the methane you produce. Have FUN! DearWebby
Kids say the darndest things
____________________________________________________ >From Barb President Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht, the Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff's hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place. The crew and the secret service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying "Never mind, boys, I'll get it." The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed onto the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat. The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope's entourage were speechless. No one knew what to say, not even the Pope. But that afternoon, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN all knew how to cover the story. Their banner headlines read : "TRUMP CAN'T SWIM!" ___________________________________________________
Tied in knots. Cool body paint illusion.
MORE Bulletin board bloopers: *Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear ___________________ *Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. ___________________ *If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket. ___________________ *Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club. ___________________ *Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication. ___________________ *If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. ___________________ *We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. ___________________ *Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford." ___________________ *Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. ___________________ *Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight. ___________________ *Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep. ___________________ *The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral. ___________________ *The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church bard. ___________________ *As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. ___________________ *Fifth Sinday is Lent. ___________________ *Thank you dead friends. ___________________ *Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding. ___________________ *Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter. ___________________ *Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits. ___________________ *For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. ___________________ *Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men. ___________________ Persons who are shut-in during bath weather can attend mass over the radio.. ___________________ *Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas. ___________________ *The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working...
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 11
1752 The Pennsylvania Hospital opened as the very first
hospital in America. 

1808 Judge Jesse Fell experimented by burning anthracite
coal to keep his house warm. He successfully showed how
clean the coal burned and how cheaply it could be used as a
heating fuel. 

1812 The term "gerrymandering" had its beginning when the
governor of Massachusetts, Elbridge Gerry, signed a
redistricting law that favored his party. 

1858 A French girl, Bernadette Soubirous, claimed to have
seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Lourdes. 

1878 The first U.S. bicycle club, Boston Bicycle Club, was
formed. 

1929 The Lateran Treaty was signed. Italy now recognized the
independence and sovereignty of Vatican City. 

1936 Pumping began the process to build San Francisco's
Treasure Island. 

1937 General Motors agreed to recognize the United
Automobile Workers Union, which ended the current sit-down
strike against them. 

1943 General Dwight David Eisenhower was selected to command
the allied armies in Europe. 

1945 During World War II, the Yalta Agreement was signed by
U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin.

1958 Ruth Carol Taylor was the first black woman to become a
stewardess by making her initial flight. 

1960 Jack Paar walked off while live on the air on the
"Tonight Show" with four minutes left. He did this in
response to censors cutting out a joke from the show the
night before. 

1979 Nine days after the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini
returned to Iran (after 15 years in exile) power was seized
by his followers. 

1982 France nationalized five groups of major industries and
39 banks. 

1984 The tenth Space Shuttle mission returned to Earth
safely. 

1990 Nelson Mandela was freed after 27 years in captivity. 

1990 In Tokyo, Japan, James "Buster" Douglas knocked out
Mike Tyson in the tenth round to win the heavyweight
championship. 

1993 Janet Reno was appointed to the position of attorney
general by U.S. President Clinton. She was the first female
to hold the position. 

2000 The space shuttle Endeavor took off. The mission was to
gather information for the most detailed map of the earth
ever made. 

2000 Great Britain suspended self-rule in Northern Ireland
after the Irish Republican Army (IRA) failed to begin
decommissioning (disarming) by a February deadline. 

2002 The six stars on NBC's "Friends" signed a deal for $24
million each for the ninth and final season of the series. 

2006 In Texas, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally
shot and wounded a companion during a quail hunt. 

2016 It was reported that scientists had detected
gravitational waves. The waves had been detected on
September 14, 2015 by the Laser Interferometer
Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors in
Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA. 

2017  smiled.


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Mailwasher example 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, February 10
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Beatiful full moon out. The Chinook blew away the -30,
shook 8" of snow off the trees, blew half of that eastwards
across the prairies, and started to thaw what fell to the
ground. It gave it's name to the migyhtiest helicopter, and
it is quite obvious, why.

In a week, after the Chinook has crossed the prairies,
picked up moisture from the Great Lakes, and collided with
cold Atlantic air, it will be called "The Alberta Clipper"
and will dump onto Toronto and Chicago.

We call that area "The Far East". Left wingers and
politicians live there, nice and cozy with Alberta oil and
gas and taxes. The thought of them getting dumped on next
week does not grieve us at all.

In the meantime we enjoy the warm and rambunctious Chinook
and the very pretty moonshine on what's left of all the
snow. It is times like this when I wish I was not the only
one walking and enjoying the night.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Drunk Florida woman drives into ditch, says she’s dead
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 10 in
1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. In
the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. --- George Santayana (1863 - 1952) Nine out of ten people who change their minds are wrong the second time too. --- Socratex It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. --- Sam Levenson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a preacher hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.The preacher looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The preacher reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. The vet told me to take that mangy mutt out to the woods, do him one last favor and put him out of his misery, cause pills don't help him no more. But, Thanks for the $200." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cheryl Ann Morris, 54, Alachua, Floriduh Drunk Florida woman drives into ditch, says she’s dead An Alachua woman drove drunkenly into a ditch Wednesday and told police she was dead, Florida Highway Patrol said. At about 5:26 p.m., Cheryl Ann Morris, 54, crashed her black Dodge Intrepid into a ditch at County Road 232 and Northwest 202nd Street, according to an incident report. When troopers asked her if she was injured, she said she was dead, according to the report. Morris told police a silver truck drove her off the road. Troopers noticed she slurred her words and kept repeating herself. One asked if Morris was wearing her seat belt, and she responded, “What, do I look stupid?” as she attempted to fasten it across her lap, according to the report. She was walked to an FHP car and put in the back seat, according to the report. When troopers searched the area, they found a small bottle of wine, which a witness said Morris had in her possession. Morris said she only drank two beers during the evening, according to the report. Morris performed poorly on field sobriety exercises and refused a breathalyzer test. Police arrested her on charges of driving under the influence and property damage. She was taken to the Alachua County Jail where she remains, as of press time, in lieu of a $15,100 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Me Re: Typical Mailwasher result Just to illustrate for those, who don't have MailWasher yet, here is a typical example. Normally my filters dump mails like that right on the server, without showing them on the list, but to show you, I made parts of one visible. ... ..ttps : //utilities.canada.gov/report/12895831237.doc [links to cs18155.tmweb.ru/2.doc]. The red part is what the actual, underlying link points to. .ru means the domain is in Russia. That does not necessarily mean the scammers are in Russia, just that they are using a Russian domain. Regardless of where a domain is hosted, if a link has a totally different underlying address, then dump that mail. Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny answered. The teacher smiled and said, "I'd like to talk to your mother or father." Little Johnny said, "Sorry, but they ain't here." "Little Johnny!" she said, "what is it with your grammar?" Little Johnny said, "Beats me, but dad sure was mad that they had to go bail her out again!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Chocolate Dipped Wafer Cookies By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] These chocolate dipped wafer cookies would make a great gift for your Valentine this year. Ingredients: strawberry wafers white chocolate and chocolate Wilton's Candy Melts Candy Melts warmer, optional Valentine's sprinkles wax paper Steps: Melt Candy Melts according to package directions or in the warmer. NOTE: I recommend melting small batches as the wafers tend to leave crumbs in the chocolate. Brush off excess crumbs from the wafers. Dip the end of each wafer into the chocolate and gently shake to remove any excess. Lay them on the wax paper and sprinkle with festive sprinkles. Allow chocolate to harden. Enjoy! For dark, semi-sweet chocolate you can use Bakers Semi-Sweet chocolate chips and a bit of butter in a flat bottom bowl, heat it a minute in the microwave, stir it fast and put it onto the heating plate of your coffee maker to keep it hot. Then you can dip the wafers lengthwise with half of it immersed, flip them onto the wax paper dry side down, so that some of the chocolate streaks down towards the dry side. Chocolate addicts prefer that method! Have FUN! DearWebby
Kids say the darndest things
____________________________________________________ Miranda likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband heads outside. Hurt, she asked him, "Don't you like my singing?" "Of course, dear," he replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ___________________________________________________
Can you find the 13 hidden faces in this painting?
A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child." "OOOPS," responded the underclassman, "I didn't realize you were pregnant."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 10
1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. In
the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 

1840 Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Saxe
Coburg-Gotha. 

1846 Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints began their exodus to the west from Illinois. 

1863 The fire extinguisher was patented by Alanson Crane. 

1870 The YWCA was founded in New York City. 

1879 The electric arc light was used for the first time. 

1920 Major league baseball representatives outlawed pitches
that involve tampering with the ball. 

1925 The first waterless gas storage tank was placed in
service in Michigan City, IN. 

1933 The singing telegram was introduced by the Postal
Telegraph Company of New York City. 

1933 Primo Carnera knocked out Ernie Schaaf in round 13 at
Madison Square Garden in New York City. Schaaf died as a
result of the knockout punch. 

1935 The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with
its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long and
weighed 230 tons. 

1942 The Normandie, the former French liner, capsized in New
York Harbor. The day before the ship had caught fire while
it was being fitted for the U.S. Navy. 

1962 The Soviet Union exchanged captured American U2 pilot
Francis Gary Powers for the Soviet spy Rudolph Ivanovich
Abel being held by the U.S. 

1981 The Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino caught fire. Eight
people were killed and 198 were injured. 

1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk announced that
black activist Nelson Mandela would be released the next day
after 27 years in captivity. 

1992 Mike Tyson was convicted in Indianapolis of raping
Desiree Washington, Miss Black American contestant. 

1997 The U.S. Army suspended its top-ranking enlisted
soldier, Army Sgt. Major Gene McKinney following allegations
of sexual misconduct. McKinney was convicted of obstruction
of justice and acquitted of 18 counts alleging sexual
harassment of six military women. 

2005 North Korea publicly announced for the first time that
it had nuclear arms. The country also rejected attempts to
restart disarmament talks in the near future saying that it
needed the weapons as protection against an increasingly
hostile United States. 

2009 A Russian and an American satellite collided over
Siberia. 

2009 Amazon announced the Kindle 2.

2017  smiled.


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Angelwinks.net newsletter going to wrong mailbox 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, February 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Church cigarette stunt means jail for Russian woman
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 9 in
1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door --- Paul Beatty ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: Someone from the Guyna Colleges called. They said that Pabst beer is normal." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance. "Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer. "Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow." "Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as you'd look trying to milk a bicycle!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 22 year old Russian woman Belgorod, Russia Church cigarette stunt means jail for Russian woman A 21-year-old woman is jailed for deliberately provoking authorities. Her crime? She posted a photo of herself lighting a cigarette with a candle in a Russian Orthodox church in the city of Belgorod, reports the Moscow Times. For that, she has been charged with "insulting the feelings of religious believers," under a law that came about in 2013 in the wake of the stunts pulled by the feminist punk group Pussy Riot. She faces up to three years in prison, reports the London Times. Hers is not the only such case to generate headlines. A 22- year-old man posted a video of himself playing Pokémon Go in a church in Yekaterinburg after state television warned that such game-playing was a no-no. He, too, was charged under the 2013 law, and has been held since October. No trial dates appear to have been set in either case. Meanwhile in Moscow: Russian President Vladimir Putin gives a good example of proper behavior in church, as he lights a candle in the Lifegiving Trinity Church in Moscow. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Connie Re: Angelwinks going to wrong mailbox Dear Webby WHY DID YOU PEOPLE STOP SENDING ANGELWINKS TO MY IN BOX. THEY ARE ALL COMING TO MY JUNK BOX. I HAVE BEEN GETTING ANGELWINKS FOREVER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU STOPPED SENDING THEM HOW COME???? PLEASE STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT. Sent from Outlook Connie Dear Connie We send Angel's Angelwinks.net newsletter to your address. What you do with it after that, is entirely up to you. Once it has entered the Ho'mail server, there is nothing more that we can do about it. Probably you have accidentally hit the Junkmail button in your Outlook one morning, and it remembered that. You have to tell your Outlook yourself to behave and not to toss good email into the junk box. I can't reach into your Outlook. There is probably good information in the OUTLOOK help on how to tell Outlook not to junk certain emails. Have FUN! DearWebby
Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made. When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth. So Moisha explained. "We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth." The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?" Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food. The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?" "Vell to tell you the truth, once in a while I like a ham sandwich."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stubborn Locks If you have a lock that is not functioning well, spray it with some graphite lock spray. You can buy it at any hardware store. One popular brand is called Lock-Ease. In a pinch, you can try using some non-stick vegetable oil on both the lock and key. You can also try dipping your key in talcum powder and inserting it in the lock. Keep in mind that most locksmiths will charge you $20 more, if you have gunked up a lock with graphite, and tell you that the lock is beyond repair if you have used kitchen oil. Those remedies may be OK for large, oldfashioned locks that use simple gates to stop wrong keys from turning. If the key looks like a miniature flag pole with a jagged flag at the end, then it's safe to use that stuff, but you will still get charged extra for gunking it up and the lock requiring tedious cleaning. Never use those for modern tumbler locks with a key similar to a car key. Tumbler locks should never see anything thicker than WD40 penetrating oil, and even that is frowned upon, because it will trap dust. If you use penetrating oil once, you will have to keep using it once or twice a year until the lock has been taken out and all lubricants cleaned out. It is dust and grit and gunk that jam up a tumbler lock, not lack of lubrication. DearWebby
Mini Maestro
____________________________________________________ A Translation Of Yankee Dogs To Southern Dawgs (Yankee) German Shepherd Dog (Southern) Poh-leece Dawg (Yankee) Poodle (Southern) Circus Dawg (Yankee) St. Bernard (Southern) "Thank Gawd, Here Comes The Whiskey Dawg" (Yankee) Doberman Pinscher (Southern-2 versions) Bad Dawg, or Dobimin Pinches (Yankee) Beagle (Southern) Rabbit Dawg (Yankee) Rottweiler (Southern) Bad Dawg AND Mean As Heck Dawg. Good dawg to guard the still. (Yankee) Yellow Lab (Southern) Ol' Yeller Dawg (Yankee) Black Lab (Southern) Duck fetchin' Dawg (Yankee) Greyhound (Southern) Greased Lightnin' Dawg (Yankee) Malinois (Southern) Another kind of Poh-leece Dawg (Yankee) Blue Ticks, Red Bones, etc. (Southern) Prize Coon Dawgs (Yankee) Pekinese (Southern) Mop Dawg (Yankee) Chinese Crested (Southern) Nekkid Dawg (Yankee) Dachshund (Southern) Wienie Dawg (Yankee) Siberian Husky (Southern) Sled-Pullin' Dawg (Yankee) Malemute (Southern) Truck-Pullin' Dawg (Yankee) Bouvier, Komondor (Southern) "What The Heck Kinda Dawg Is That?" (Yankee) Great Dane, Mastiff (Southern) Danged BIG Dawg (Yankee) Any dog that raids the hen house (Southern) Egg-Suckin' Dawg (Yankee) Any lazy dog (Southern) Good fer nothin' Dawg (Yankee) Any dog that's dead & buried & gone to Rainbow Bridge (Southern) Best danged Dawg I ever had ___________________________________________________
Detailed close-ups of Michelangelo's David.
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: - religion - royalty - sex - mystery The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 9
1825 The U.S. House of Representatives elected John Quincy
Adams president. No candidate had received a majority of
electoral votes. 

1861 The Provisional Congress of the Confederate States of
America elected Jefferson Davis as its president. 

1884 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny executed a patent
application for a chemical recording stock quotation
telegraph (U.S. Pat. 314,115). 

1885 The first Japanese arrived in Hawaii. 

1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan. 

1895 The first college basketball game was played as
Minnesota State School of Agriculture defeated the Porkers
of Hamline College, 9-3. 

1909 The first forestry school was incorporated in Kent,
Ohio. 

1932 America entered the 2-man bobsled competition for the
first time at the Olympic Winter Games held at Lake Placid,
NY. 

1942 The U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff held its first formal
meeting to coordinate military strategy during World War II.

1942 Daylight-saving "War Time" went into effect in the U.S.

1943 During World War II, the battle of Guadalcanal ended
with an American victory over Japanese forces. 

1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State
Department was riddled with Communists. This was the
beginning of "McCarthyism." 

1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight. 

1971 The San Fernando Valley experienced the Sylmar
earthquake that registered 6.4 on the Richter Scale. 

1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after
mankind's third landing on the moon. 

1975 The Russian Soyuz 17 returned to Earth. 

1997 "The Simpsons" became the longest-running prime-time
animated series. "The Flintstones" held the record
previously. 

2001 "Hannibal," the sequel to "Silence of the Lambs,"
opened in theaters.

2017  smiled.


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Monitor Frequency 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, February 8

Thank you, Sig!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Drug dealer whose life sentence was commuted by Obama 
arrested on new drug charges
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 8 in
1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on 
CBS television. :(
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. --- John C. Dvorak Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards. --- Fred Hoyle (1915 - 2001) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was "sharing time" in a kindergarten full of bright children. The teacher was presiding over a discussion about the children's parents. One child said, "Well, my mother's a Catholic and my father's Jewish." "Oh, wow!" said another. "So what do you believe?" "I believe in everything," said the first child. "What do you mean 'everything'?" asked another child. "Well, you know," said the first child, "Jesus Christ, Moses, Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fair, Monsters, everything." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Edwina for this one: A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic... " Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. Things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!" "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed-they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!! "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook.... "I'll pick you up in ten minutes," said the mother ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Gill, 68, San Antonio, Drug dealer whose life sentence was commuted by Obama arrested on new drug charges A 68-year-old San Antonio man whose life prison sentence was commuted by President Barack Obama is back in jail after authorities say he crashed his car into another vehicle while fleeing from officers following a drug deal. A federal magistrate judge on Friday ordered Robert Gill held without bail pending a hearing later this month. Gill was arrested in 1990 and sentenced to life for cocaine and heroin distribution conspiracy. While in prison, he studied law and petitioned the president for a second chance. Obama commuted Gill’s sentence in 2015. The San Antonio Express-News reports he’d been working as a paralegal at a San Antonio law firm. He’s now charged with possession with intent to distribute 500 grams or more of cocaine. If convicted, Gill faces a potential sentence with a mandatory minimum of five years, but could get up to 40. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Gladys Re: Monitor Frequency Dear Webby Should the monitor frequency be set to the same as the household electricity (60 cycles)? Gladys Dear Gladys No, set it to any frequency BUT that. Especially with fluorecent lighting, that will appear as an unruly and flickering image. Chose the highest frequency that your video card / monitor combination can handle. Have FUN! DearWebby
A manager is told by his doctor that he has to take up some sport, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing. "It's going fine", the manager says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!". "Really? What happens then?", the girl asks enthusiastically Then my body says: "Huh ? Who, me ??? You gotta be kidding!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mini Cheesy Heart Calzones By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] These mini heart shaped calzones are perfect for a Valentine's day party. They are easy to make and would be fun to make with your kids. Ingredients: canned pizza dough (thin crust) sliced mozzarella or Provolone egg white marinara sauce fork heart shaped cookie cutters (medium and small) flour rolling pin Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Unroll canned pizza dough onto lightly floured cutting board. Flour other side of dough too. Using the medium heart cookie cutter, cut out as many pairs of hearts as possible. Remove excess dough from around the hearts. Set the excess dough aside. Using the small heart cookie cutter, cut out enough cheese hearts to fill each pair of dough hearts. Lay a cheese heart onto a dough heart, moisten the edges of the dough heart, and lay another dough heart on top. Use a fork to crimp the dough hearts together. Place the calzones onto a greased cookie sheet (or pizza stone). Brush the top of each calzone with egg white. Bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Remove any cheese that leaked out. Serve hot with a side of marinara sauce for dipping. Enjoy!
ice music
____________________________________________________ Mia went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't really know when to honk the horn and when not." ___________________________________________________
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! I have a healthy fear of bridges.
A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phoney $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. Ya'll want 2 nines, or 3 sixes?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 8
1693 A charter was granted for the College of William and
Mary in Williamsburg, VA. 

1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 

1861 The Confederate States of America was formed. 

1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted
a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S.
Federal
government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a
600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 

1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were
beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River.

1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking
Russian forces in Manchuria. 

1910 William D. Boyce incorporated the Boy Scouts of
America. 

1918 During World War I, "The Stars and Stripes" was
published under orders from General John J. Pershing for the
United States Army forces in France. It was published from
February 8, 1918 to June 13, 1919. 

1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President
Harding had it installed. 

1927 The original version of "Getting Gertie’s Garter"
opened at the Hippodrome Theatre in New York City. 

1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her
father, George VI, had died on February 6. 

1963 After Cuba nationalized US oil, tobacco, sugar, rum and
fruit companies, the Kennedy administration prohibited
travel to Cuba and made financial and commercial
transactions with Cuba illegal for U.S. citizens. 

1963 Lamar Hunt, owner of the American Football League
franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas City.
The new team was named the Chiefs. 

1971 The Nasdaq stock-market index debuted. 

1973 U.S. Senate leaders named seven members of a select
committee to investigate the Watergate scandal. 

1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned
to Earth after 84 days. 

1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio
for the first time. The subject was the Panama Canal
treaties. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re-
introduce draft registration. 

1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS
television. :(

1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC"
had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM
pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes.
The suit was settled the following day by NBC. 

2017  smiled.


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Fix blue shifted pictures 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, February 7
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Stabbing A Stranger Was ‘Absolutely Fantastic,’ 
Teen Wrote In Diary
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 7 in
1882 The last bareknuckle fight for the heavyweight boxing
 championship took place in Mississippi City. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban (1915 - 2002) If you want to be noticed, whine. If you want to be respected, don't. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Grampa was telling his youngest grandson abuot his terrifying experience with cannibals. "There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by twenty hungry cannibals." His grandson objected: "But last time you told me, there were only ten hungry cannibals." To which grampa answered, "Ah, but you were too young then to know the whole horrible truth!" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Mike's parents have four children. Their names are Penny, Dime and Quarter. What is the fourth child's name? ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pearl Moen, 19, Travis County, same county as the P***y Hat Judge Texas Stabbing A Stranger Was 'Absolutely Fantastic,' Teen Wrote In Diary A Texas teenager who admitted stabbing a stranger nearly two dozen times wrote in a diary that the attack gave her "a high unlike any other" and that she was "so proud" of herself. Pearl Moen, 19, "wanted to know what it would feel like to kill someone," District Attorney Margaret Moore said after Moen was sentenced to 15 years in prison Friday for attempted murder. Moen, who the Travis County District Attorneys Office said had a history of drug abuse and "psychological issues," walked to a nearby Austin park the morning of Nov. 14, 2015, where a 23-year-old nurse was lying on a blanket. "All of the sudden she opens her eyes to someone stabbing her repeatedly," the victim’s father, who did not want to be identified, told Austins KXAN News. The nurse also asked not to be publicly named. Moen ran away and described the attack in her diary. "She screamed and grabbed at me, saying 'What the fuck?! Help! Leave!" the teen wrote, according to police. The victim, a labor and delivery nurse at a local hospital, was stabbed 21 times. She survived after multiple blood transfusions and treatment for a collapsed lung. "They thought I was going to die," the victim, who spent nearly a week in the hospital, told My Statesman. Aside from a vague description of the perpetrator a woman with "dark brown or black hair" the only clue found at the crime scene was a blood-splattered gold ring. Detectives said Moen described it in her diary. "I lost my other gold ring I’ve worn all my life on a chain around my neck as it was ripped off by a girl I was murdering," the entry reads. "Fate is weird." The attack, which authorities surmised was random, remained unsolved until Valentine’s Day 2016, when police responded to a domestic disturbance at Moen’s house. The teen’s mother reported her daughter had threatened her with a knife, police said. While investigating, Moen’s mother and boyfriend told officers Moen seemed to match a description of the stabbing suspect they’d seen in neighborhood flyers, according to court documents. Moens mother later discovered the teen’s diary, which she turned over to detectives. The entry about the stabbing, quoted in the arrest affidavit, reads: "I stabbed an innocent woman to death earlier today — technically yesterday since it’s 1 a.m. It was absolutely fantastic. Murder gives me a high unlike any other. It feels like this crisp unreality, flashing and sparkling, adrenaline and shock, fight or flight mode. How do I even go about describing it. The whole thing was unreal. I’m so proud of myself. I stabbed her like 20 times. Maybe more. I wasn’t counting. She screamed and grabbed at me, saying "What the fuck?! Help. Leave." … For now, I should explain why. Other than the fact that I’m a homicidal psychopath. I have a deep hatred towards people right now. … Yesterday I lost my other gold ring I’ve worn all my life on a chain around my neck as it was ripped off by a girl I was murdering. Fate is weird." The journal also contained a drawing of the crime scene, the affidavit says. The victim, who reportedly has permanent damage to several nerves and tendons, told KXAN News she was shocked when she learned of the diary entry. "I always thought she would walk around with guilt, but knowing she had this joy and this pride is very unsettling," the woman said. Same county as the P***y Hat judge Sarah Ekhardt. Do they need more chlorine in the gene pool? ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jannet Re: Blue pictures Dear Webby Sometimes my pictures have a definite bluish green shift. It makes people look like a pizza is going to re-visit the visible world, and clothes look odd. What causes that, and how can I fix pictures that already suffer from that? I have PSP, like you recommended. Jannet Dear Jannet The cause is usually low battery or a cold camera. The same thing happens frequently when pasting a face from a picture taken with an Apple type phone onto a picture taken with a Canon camera. Blue-Face. The fix is to shift the colors. ALT C A R (Or mouse to Color, Adjust, Red-Green-Blue) If it is just the face of the photographer, that was pasted in later, use the lassoo selection tool to select that face, and then do the color shift. Have FUN! DearWebby
A fifty year old gal was at home happily jumping on her bed and laughing with delight. Her husband watched her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old." The husband said, "What did he say about your 56 year old ass?" "Oh, your name never came up," she replied laughing.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rubbing Alcohol for Cleaning Hard Water Spots By Karen B. [1 Post, 1 Comment] I was having trouble getting water spots off my windows until my neighbor suggested using alcohol. I used 91% rubbing alcohol from the drugstore that I already had in the house and paper towels. I didn't even have to scrub. The spots came off like magic.
ice music
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Three churches in town were overrun with squirrels. After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined that the animals were predestined to be there. Who were they to interfere with God's will? They did nothing, and the squirrels multiplied. The elders of the second church, deciding that they could not harm any of God's creatures, humanely trapped the squirrels and then set them free outside of town. Three days later the squirrels were back. It was only the third church that succeeded in keeping the squirrels away. The elders of this church simply baptized the squirrels, registered them as members of the church, and passed the collection plate. Now, they only see the squirrels on Christmas and Easter. ___________________________________________________
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! I have a healthy fear of bridges.
A well dressed lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 7
1882 The last bareknuckle fight for the heavyweight boxing
championship took place in Mississippi City. 

1893 Elisha Gray patented a machine called the telautograph.
It automatically signed autographs to documents. 

1913 The Turks lost 5,000 men in a battle with the Bulgarian
army in Gallipoli. 

1940 Pinocchio world premiered at the Center Theatre in
Manhattan. 

1941 The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra and Frank Sinatra recorded
"Everything Happens to Me." 

1943 The U.S. government announced that shoe rationing would
go into effect in two days. 

1944 During World War II, the Germans launched a
counteroffensive at Anzio, Italy. 

1962 The U.S. government banned all Cuban imports and re-
export of U.S. products to Cuba from other countries. 

1974 The nation of Grenada gained independence from Britain.


1976 Darryl Sittler (Toronto Maple Leafs) set a National
Hockey League (NHL) record when he scored 10 points in a
game against the Boston Bruins. He scored six goals and four
assists. 

1977 Russia launched Soyuz 24. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Bruce McCandless II and Robert
L. Stewart made the first untethered space walk. 

1985 "Sports Illustrated" released its annual swimsuit
edition. It was the largest regular edition in the
magazine’s history at 218 pages. 

1986 Haitian President-for-Life Jean-Claude Duvalier fled
his country ending 28 years of family rule. 

1991 The Rev. Jean-Bertrand Aristide was sworn in as Haiti's
first democratically elected president. 

1999 NASA's Stardust space probe was launched. The mission
was to return comet dust samples from comet Wild 2. The
mission was completed on January 15, 2006 when the sample
return capsule returned to Earth. 

2000 California's legislature declared that February 13
would be "Charels M. Schulz Day." 

2008 The Space Shuttle Atlantis launched with the mission of
delivering the Columbus science laboratory to the
International Space Station. 

2017  smiled.


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Phishing 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, February 6
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pastor who preached ‘Integrity’ caught pants-down 
in bed with married woman
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 5 in
1778 - The United States gained official recognition from France
as the two nations signed the Treaty of Amity and Commerce and
the Treaty of Alliance in Paris. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. --- Henry Kissinger (1923 - ) He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ HUSBAND: 1) A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had. 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so. WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "How was your game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went," he answered. "But you're 75 years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's 85 and doesn't play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot." ----------------- Time to start playing with imaginary balls or the 15 cent exploding balls. They don't really explode, they are made from compressed clay and look like they exploded when hit with a golf club. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rev. O. Jermaine Simmons Sr., 36, Talahassee, Floriduh Pastor who preached ‘Integrity’ caught pants-down in bed with married woman A married pastor in Florida who recently chastised the media for dishonesty was caught having sex with a married mom, according to a police report. The Rev. O. Jermaine Simmons Sr., 36, ran naked from Claynisha Stephens’ Tallahassee apartment after her husband of seven years caught the two in bed together on Jan. 17, the police report said. The husband, Benjamin Stephens, chased after the pastor with a pistol, but police ? summoned by the wife ? found him first, hiding with no clothes behind a fence. Simmons, pastor at Jacob Chapel Baptist Church in Tallahassee, wrote a blog post just weeks ago titled, “Journalism is Dead.” He argued modern news reporting lacks honesty and integrity. “I can’t help but mourn the death of pure, untainted journalism,” Simmons wrote. Simmons also authored a 2016 book, I Need A Man, touted in a press release as “a fresh perspective on the issues of godly manhood and mentoring.” A photo included in a press kit announcing the release of a new book by Rev. O. Jermaine Simmons Sr. Tallahassee police said they learned of Simmons’ extramarital relationship when Stephens’ wife called 911. She told officers her husband grabbed a small handgun after he caught them in bed and “went out the door in search of Simmons.” “I’m going to shoot both of you,” Benjamin Stephens said, according to the police report. Benjamin Stephens was nowhere to be found when officers arrived. Police found Simmons hiding behind a nearby privacy fence. Simmons told officers he visited Claynisha Stephens that day to discuss “church matters.” One thing led to another and the meeting “took an inappropriate turn,” the police report quoted him as saying. Claynisha Stephens told officers she and her husband attend Simmons’ church. She acknowledged having sex with Simmons and said he bolted after her husband caught them in bed. She said her husband told her he’d considered shooting her, but decided not to “because of their son,” police said. Officers eventually tracked down Benjamin Stephens and found him in possession of Simmons’ clothes, wallet and car keys. He told officers he caught his wife and the pastor having sex in his oldest daughter’s bedroom, according to the police report. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rhonda Re: Phishing Dear Webby Is it true that some of those phishing sites can steal your passwords and bank information even if you don't click on anything ? Rhonda Dear Rhonda Yes, but not if you use MailWasher. (blue button one the right) In MailWasher you see how phoney their mails are, before you download the dangerous part. It shows you the underlying real URL under the phoney one. If you don't have MailWasher, be extremely careful with mail that pretends to be from ANY bank or government agency or any shipping company. Just opening, without actually clicking on anything in some of those mails, will start a script that will install a tiny trojan, that will later call for the rest of the program to harvest your computer. Whenever something looks like it could be from ANY bank, have a close look at the top 20 or 50 lines that you let MailWasher check. You can easily tell from that if the mail is legit or phoney. Don't even bother filling things out with your favorite politicians name and address. Just accepting the form or going to it is enough to contaminate your computer. If it looks the least bit suspicious, let Maillwasher send it to hell. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied. "What's it for?" "It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered. "Every time she stands on it she gets really mad and starts cussing."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fixing Wallpaper Bubbles If you have a larger wallpaper bubble, bigger than quarter, cut an X into the bubble and carefully peel back each corner from the center of the X. Then apply some wallpaper paste to each corner and flatten them out with a damp sponge. For smaller bubbles, cut a slit into the bubble using a sharp utility knife. Then use a syringe to squirt some wall paper adhesive into the slit and smooth out the bubble.
cowboy medley
____________________________________________________ Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and the junior one by 10 years said to the elder on his birthday; "How do you feel now that it's your 95th birthday... I mean... How do you really feel? You're 95 years old today... how do you honestly feel?" "Honestly, you say? You really want to know? I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, can't walk, just wet myself, and I think it's funny." ___________________________________________________
Stormtrooper animal helmets.
A man was in the hospital recovering from an operation when a nun walked into his room. She was there to cheer up the sick and ailing. The man and nun started talking and she asked about his life. He talked about his wife and 13 children. "My, my," said the nun, "13 children....you're a good, proper Catholic family. The Lord is very proud of you!" "I'm sorry, Sister," he said, "I am not Catholic. I'm Jewish." "Jewish!?" she replies. "Hmmm....you're a sex maniac, aren't you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 6

1778 - The United States gained official recognition from France
as the two nations signed the Treaty of Amity and Commerce and
the Treaty of Alliance in Paris. 

1815 - The state of New Jersey issued the first American railroad
charter to John Stevens. 

1899 - The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty between the U.S.
and Spain. 

1900 - The Holland Senate ratified the 1899 peace conference
decree that created in international arbitration court at The
Hague. 

1932 - Dog sled racing happened for the first time in Olympic
competition. 

1937 - K. Elizabeth Ohi became the first Japanese woman lawyer
when she received her degree from John Marshall Law School in
Chicago, IL. 

1952 - Britain's King George VI died. His daughter, Elizabeth II,
succeeded him. 

1959 - The U.S., for the first time, successfully test-fired a
Titan intercontinental ballistic missile from Cape Canaveral. 

1971 - NASA Astronaut Alan B. Shepard used a six-iron that he had
brought inside his spacecraft and swung at three golf balls on
the surface of the moon. 

1973 - Construction began on the CN Tower in Toronto, Ontario,
Canada. 

1985 - The French mineral water company, Perrier, debuted its
first new product in 123 years. The new items were water with a
twist of lemon, lime or orange. 

1987 - President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old this day and
became the oldest U.S. President in history. 

1998 - Washington National Airport was renamed for U.S. President
Ronald Reagan with the signing of a bill by U.S. President
Clinton. 

1999 - King Hussein of Jordan transferred full political power to
his oldest son the Crown Prince Abdullah. 

1999 - Excerpts of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky's
videotaped testimony were shown at President Clinton's
impeachment trial. 

1999 - Heavy fighting resumed along the common border between
Ethiopia and Eritrea. 

2000 - Russia's acting President Vladimir Putin announced that
Russian forces had captured Grozny, Chechnya. The capital city
had been under the control of Chechen rebels. 

2000 - In Finland, Foreign Minister Tarja Halonen became the
first woman to be elected president. 

2000 - U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally declared
that she was a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat from the state of
New York, after the sitting Democrat senator was ordered by the
Democrat party to resign and vacate his seat for her.

2001 - Ariel Sharon was elected Israeli prime minister. 

2002 - A federal judge ordered John Walker Lindh to be held
without bail pending trial. Lindh was known as the "American
Taliban."

2017  smiled.


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Hide raw directory listing 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, February 5
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Mom Claimed Daughter Was Kidnapped So Cops Would 
Find Her Car faster
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 5 in
1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. --- Leo Tolstoy Conceit is God's gift to little men. --- Bruce Barton Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," David thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Corinne I believe my young daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses. I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jessica Pickett, 22, Columbus, Ohio Mom Claimed Daughter Was Kidnapped So Cops Would Find Her Car faster A woman in Columbus, Ohio, is facing charges for allegedly filing a false report of a missing child just so officers would find her stolen car faster. On Monday morning, Jessica Pickett’s 2004 silver Chevy Impala was stolen in front of her home while she was warming it up. She told police that she put her 4-year-old daughter into the car and went back into her home to get another kid. When she came back out, the vehicle was missing, according to WSAZ TV. Authorities issued an Amber Alert in Central Ohio to find the missing girl. The car was found about a mile away from where it was stolen, but no child was inside, according to WBNS TV. Bradley Stroud, 22, was charged with grand theft auto, but the girl wasn’t found until the 911 dispatcher got a call saying she was at her aunt’s house, according to WCMH TV. Columbus Police Sergeant Terry McConnell told the station that investigators determined she had been with the aunt since Sunday, long before the car was stolen. Officers questioned Pickett who allegedly admitted reporting that her daughter was missing so police would prioritize finding her car, according to WBNS TV. Pickett was charged with misdemeanor falsification and was issued a summons to appear in court. Her children are now in the custody of Franklin County Child Services, according to the station. Stroud appeared in court Tuesday and the judge set his bond at $50,000. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Angel Re: Avoiding raw directory listing Dear Webby How do I hide the raw directory listing that shows up on folders on my web site, that have only pictures in them? Angel Dear Angel Just upload any page that is named "index.html". Then that page will be the default page. You can put a prayer or picture of a church onto that page, and nobody will have a clue what kind of sexy prayer and poultry pictures lurk beneath. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Irene My husband's uncle thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and, also, their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?" ----------- He should have used MyMemorizer It is free and sends emails and even texts messages same day, and any number of days you set prior to any event or appointment. You can even set the time of day for it to text an alert to you. I have used it for many years and it has never let me down.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fruity Pudding By katrine2706 I never knew how to make pudding until my sister-in-law gave me several packs of pudding mix from Germany. I had wondered how to cook it, but never really knew how, since the package directions are written in German. I didn't have the time to google search recipes, so I tried my best to make use of the pudding mix in my own way. The result looked and taste just like our traditional desert called "maja blanca". It tasted better than I expected. Ingredients: 1 can (300 gram) fruit cocktail, drained 1 pack vanilla pudding mix 1 can (270 ml) evaporated milk 1 cup water 1/4 cup sugar 1/3 cup grated cheese Steps: Mix milk, water and sugar together. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Divide the mixture into two. Use one part of the milk mixture to dilute 1 pack of vanilla pudding mix. Simmer the other part of milk mixture over medium heat. Continue stirring until desired consistency is achieved. Pour into container or you can use gelatine mold. Allow to cool for about 3 minutes. Stir the mixture until thick. Add in half of the fruit cocktail. Set aside the remaining half for the top. Top your pudding with remaining fruit cocktail and grated cheese. Chill in the refrigerator for 3-4 hours (do not put in the freezer). Serve.
She wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T-!
____________________________________________________ Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'." The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100. "What happened?" asked one of the members. "Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, that jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls... then yelled 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf, never knowing when or what the second 'gotcha' would be?" ___________________________________________________
People Are Awesome! Best of the Month for January 2017.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 5
1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. 

1783 Sweden recognized the independence of the United
States. 

1861 Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep show
machine. 

1885 Congo State was established under Leopold II of
Belgium, as a personal possession. 

1881 Phoenix, AZ, was incorporated. 

1917 Mexico's constitution was adopted. 

1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Immigration Act of 1917
(Asiatic Barred Zone Act) with an overwhelming majority.
The action overrode President Woodrow Wilson's December 14,
1916 veto. 

1924 The BBC time signals, or "pips", from Greenwich
Observatory were heard for the first time. They are
broadcast every hour. 

1952 In New York City, four signs were installed at 44th
Street and Broadway in Times Square that told pedestrians
"don't walk." 

1958 Gamel Abdel Nasser was formally nominated to become
the first president of the United Arab Republic. 

1962 French President Charles De Gaulle called for
Algeria's independence. 

1982 Great Britain imposed economic sanctions against
Poland and Russia in protest against martial law in Poland.

1988 A pair of indictments were unsealed in Florida,
accusing Panama's military leader, Gen. Manuel Antonio
Noriega, of bribery and drug trafficking. 

1994 White separatist Byron De La Beckwith was convicted in
Jackson, MS, of the 1963 murder of civil rights leader
Medgar Evers. 

1997 Switzerland's "Big Three" banks announced they would
create a $71 million fund for Holocaust victims and their
families. 

1997 Investment bank Morgan Stanley announced a $10 billion
merger with Dean Witter. 

1999 Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for
assaulting two people after a car accident on August 31,
1998. Tyson was also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of
probation, and had to perform 200 hours of community
service upon release. 

2001 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman announced their
separation. 

2017  smiled.


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How to get rid of AdAware 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, February 4
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman stabbed her lover after he refused a 
threesome with her and another woman.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 4 in
1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities
with its former colonies, the United States of America. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.' --- Frederick L Collins ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This one came back from Tim I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow- covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" I asked. "Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the snow plow." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ John and Bob were two of the bitterest golf rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the others arithmetic. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob, "What'd you have?" Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself. "No--a five." Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said, "Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five. But actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob. John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your LIE." ______________________________________________________ Let's try this again without Spanish characters, that caused problems for some people's browsers: From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by (Old glamor pix) Teresa M Gillard, 42, Lake Havasu, Arizona Woman stabbed her lover after he refused a threesome with her and another woman Teresa M Gillard, 42, of Lake Havasu City in Mohave County, Arizona, has been accused of stabbing her boyfriend with a pair of scissors after she wanted him to take part in sex with her and another woman she had met earlier that day in a dog park, the News-Herald reported. Gillard allegedly told Havasu City Police Department that she told her boyfriend that she wanted to invite her new female friend over for the threesome, which she and her boyfriend “have always talked about doing”. However, according to Gillard, her boyfriend — whom she has been dating on-and-off since 2008 — “did not want to have a threesome because he wasn’t feeling well.” The pair began arguing before Gillard is alleged to have attacked her lover with a pair of scissors. While warding her off he got stabbed in the arm and abdomen. Police stated that the victim only suffered minor injuries. Gillard faces felony charges for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and disorderly conduct with a weapon per domestic violence. It was Gilalrd who called the police after the victim locked her out of his home and accused him of beating her up. She got back into the property once and the physical altercation continued before she was locked out a second time. Gillard is now in custody at Mohave County Jail in Kingman, Arizona. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: How to get rid of AdAware? Dear Webby I am having a problem with the AdAware installer. I have purged my computer of every instance of AdAware that I can find. Every time I right click on an icon, the AdAware installer wants to install AdAware. I click cancel, then I have to continue pressing cancel before it gives up. Sometimes it will hang the computer. On searching the internet, it was suggested installing a context menu editor. Sounds good, but I hate to install a program to get rid of another program. What do you think? Thanks. Bill Dear Bill AdAware has been somewhere between a well known problem and a Bloody Nuisance for at least ten years. There are many un- install programs available on the net. It is almost a cottage industry! You also have to get rid of anything to do with Lavasoft. They will re-infect your computer. Do that first. UNinstall anything related to Lavasoft. Then use your Everything searcher and search for unwise in any directory related to Lavasoft or AdAware. Run that. It is an UNinstaller. Then use Everything to search for lavasoft adaware and each time, when it finds something, delete it. If you are one of the poor disadvantaged newbies, who vegetate in the dark without the Everything searcher, get it quickly at http://www.voidtools.com/ After that, dump any and all folders, that have lavasoft or adaware in the name. That should do the trick. The tiny Everything searcher program is most definitely a keeper. You will soon love it and find it as indispensable as a lot of us do. The first time you run it, it is a bit slow, while it catalogs all your drives. After that it will be blazingly fast, even with Terabyte external drives filled with sexy poultry and prayer pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Fran: I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor hold me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure." "You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will? And who should we contact in case you don't wake up?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fight Grease With Grease By pho1608 [1 Post] Don't spend money on expensive de-greasers and don't inhale toxic ammonia. Take 1 part mineral or vegetable oil to 2 parts baking soda. This makes the perfect cleanser for greasy cupboards. With a little rubbing, this gets even the most gummy build-up. For greasy film on the oven hood, just drop some oil on a paper towel and wipe it clean. This technique is so effective, I now keep a spray bottle with mineral oil to clean the gucky grease.
nude men clock
____________________________________________________ Overheard at the bus stop - Coed A: "My roommate hogs the TV!" - Coed B: "My roommate keeps borrowing my makeup without asking!" - Coed C: "My roommate keeps stealing my boyfriends before I'm done using them!" ___________________________________________________
Movie effects in the silent film era.
Jill had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 4
1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities
with its former colonies, the United States of America. 

1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the
first president of the United States. 

1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the
public. 

1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was
established. 

1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery,
AL, to form the Confederate States of America. 

1895 The Van Buren Street Bridge opened in Chicago, IL. 

1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege to
Port Arthur. 

1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable
tire-carrying rims. 

1932 The first American Winter Olympics were held in the
United States at Lake Placid, NY. 

1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be
produced synthetically. 

1945 During World War II, U.S. President Franklin
Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and
Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a conference at Yalta to
outline plans for what to do with Germany after they finish
bombing it back into the stone age. 

1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British
Commonwealth. The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 

1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began
selling portable electric typewriters. The first machine
weighed 19 pounds. 

1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes,
Isle of Wight. 

1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 

1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA,
by the Symbionese Liberation Army. 

1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more
than 22,000 people. 

1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called
for a tripling of the expenditure on the "Star Wars"
research program. 

1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit
and flashed a beam of sunlight across Europe during the
night. Observers saw it as a momentary flash. 

1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable
in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron
Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in
compensatory damages. 

1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on
their way to Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard
were killed. 

1997 President Milosevic of Serbia surrendered to the will
of his people, ordering his government to recognize
opposition victories in local elections held in November
1996. 

1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th
National Hockey League (NHL) goal during his 719th game.
Lemieux reached the milestone second fastest in history.
Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 718th game. 

1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000	people were
killed in an earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter
Scale. 

1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just
after rockets were fired toward Israel. No casualies were
claimed on either side. 

1999 Gary Coleman was sentenced to a $400 fine, a suspended
90-day jail sentence, and ordered to attend 52 anger-
management classes. The sentence stemmed from Coleman
assaulting an autograph seeker on July 30, 1998. 

1999 Amadou Diallo, an unarmed West African immigrant, was
shot and killed in front of his Bronx home by four
plainclothes New York City police officers. The officers
had been conducting a nighttime search for a rape suspect. 

2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition
government that included Joerg Haider's far-right Freedom
Party. European Union sanctions were a result of the
action. 

2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The
country was replaced with a loose union of its remaining
two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 

2004 The social networking website Facebook.com was
launched. 

2017  smiled.


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Compressed air or vacuum for cleaning? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, February 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

It appears a lot of ISPs censored yesterdays Humor Letter.
You can still read it in the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

NOBODY, absolutely NOBODY voted about a new award.
Not a single $1 or $2 vote came in. 
No votes came in.
OK, I can take a hint.

Todays Bonehead Award:
Oklahoma teacher arrested for doing cartwheel 
without undies
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 3 in
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the
Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that
were fighting in the war against Quebec. When they got killed,
no real money had been spent.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. --- Socratex I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977 "Do not talk a little on many subjects, but much on a few. --- Pythagoras The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball "The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And now a word from our sponsor'." --- Hal Eaton ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Fran: A fellow was walking up to a Doctors office and met another man coming out. Just before they meet the fellow coming out fell face forward dead. The first fellow went in and told the recepionist that a man had just fallen dead outside the office. The receptionist asked him "which way was he going? The man replied "he was leaving the office." The receptionist said, "Well, do me a favor, will you, and go back out and turn him around." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Edna Office trick for today: Go through the waste basket at the printer or copier and collect all papers that are not kinked or crumpled. Neatly stack them and cut them in half. Then put them into the paper tray of the copier or printer. Stick around, because the results are hilarious ! --------- I haven't tried that one myself, but I can just imagine! ______________________________________________________ From FRB: Ravine Baños, Ecuador ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lacey Sponsler, 34, Pawhuska, Oklahoma Oklahoma teacher arrested for doing cartwheel without undies A substitute teacher was arrested and thrown in jail yesterday for indecent exposure after she performed a cartwheel in a high school choir class “with no under garments on,” police allege. According to cops, Lacey Sponsler, 34, exposed herself to students last Friday at Pawhuska High School in Pawhuska, a city about 50 miles north of Tulsa. Sponsler, seen above, was wearing a long dress, but no underwear, “which caused her to expose herself to the students in this class,” cops allege. “This act was gleefully captured by a student on their cell phone,” said Police Chief Scott Laird. As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, as Sponsler (seen above) performed the cartwheel in the “Junior High Choir room,” her dress was “flipped up,” exposing her buttocks. An officer who reviewed the video of the incident added, “I further noticed that the Defendant was not wearing any type of underwear.” A 17-year-old female student told police that Sponsler “had said that she was not wearing underwear before performing the cartwheel,” which exposed her “bare vagina.” The student noted that she saw Sponsler’s “vagina open and close, as her legs were in the air.” The girl also told police that Sponsler “had been talking about using drugs” and commented on how she “thought fourteen year old boys were like men.” When questioned by police, Sponsler initially denied performing the cartwheel in class. When told that a student captured the cartwheel in a Snapchat video, Sponsler replied that she “did not remember performing a cartwheel or exposing her vagina and buttocks.” Sponsler told police that she was “just dancing with the students” and "trying to be a cool teacher." According to court records, Sponsler pleaded guilty in 2008 to marijuana possession, public intoxication, and possession of drug paraphernalia (for which she received a two-year deferred sentence, was fined $1100, and was ordered to perform 100 hours of community service). In December 2009, a judge ruled that Sponsler violated her probation, in part because she had not disclosed being questioned by police investigating an accused meth cook. Sponsler told cops that she had been present in the suspect’s home when he was manufacturing the drug, adding that the man was “careless when he cooks.” In September 2011, Sponsler pleaded guilty to possession of methamphetamine and marijuana in the presence of a child and possession of drug paraphernalia. She was sentenced to a three- year deferred sentence. As part of that plea deal, prosecutors dropped a burglary charge against Sponsler, who is pictured above in a mug shot snapped yesterday. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rose Re: Clean with compressed air or vaccum ? Dear Webby What is better for cleaning keyboards and computers, cans of compressed air or vacuum cleaner? Rose Dear Rose Cans of compressed air are good for people who sell them. A vaccumm cleaner is the better choice for all computer related items. Instead of blowing dirt into even harder to reach places, a vaccum gets rid of it. While kids will use canned air for huffing and experimenting how close they can get to dying, none have been recorded of using a vacuum cleaner without having been explicitly ordered to do that. Have FUN! DearWebby
True Story My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, just tell me what state it is in!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Cookie Sheet Sliders By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] This is an easy way to make sliders for a large group. We made them for the Super Bowl and they were a huge hit! Source: Food Network Ingredients: #Toppings 10 x 15 in rimmed cookie sheet 3 lb ground beef (90/10) 1 medium onion, finely diced 2 eggs 1/2 cup plain breadcrumbs 4 tsp vegetable oil 1-2 tsp salt ground black pepper garlic powder slider buns cheddar cheese lettuce pickles tomato sliced onion ketchup and mustard Steps: Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine ground beef, breadcrumbs, eggs, and salt. Finely dice the onion and press between paper towels to remove excess moisture. Spread onions out evenly on the bottom of the cookie sheet. Drop ground beef mixture in small pieces onto the onions. Use a spatula to press the ground beef down evenly into the bottom of the cookie sheet. Try to fill in any gaps in the meat. Then use the spatula to gently score the beef into small patties. Brush the patties with vegetable oil. Lightly season the patties by sprinkling them with pepper and garlic powder. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until meat is cooked through. Check them part way through and drain off any moisture/fat that has collected in the cookie sheet. If you want you can broil the patties for a few minutes to brown them up a little. Cut cheese slices into quarters and put a piece of cheese onto each patty. Put the patties back in the oven for 1 minute or until cheese is bubbly. Carefully recut patties and remove from the pan. Serve with grilled onions or lettuce, tomato, and sliced onion. Enjoy! Most definitely broil them a bit to fake that nice charcoal BBQ crisp! WARNING: Some people consider "sliders" as appetizers! Have FUN! DearWebby
interesting and unique - lots of precision
____________________________________________________ >From Trina I just picked up a copy of People's 100 Most Eligible Bachelors... I've searched cover to cover and I still can't find the order form. ___________________________________________________
Art out of silverware.
Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, "Whistle to let that young couple know that someone can hear them." To which Murphy replies, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 3

1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at Mossal
Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have landed on the
southern extremity of Africa. 

1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the
Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that
were fighting in the war against Quebec. When they got killed,
no real money had been spent.

1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States. 

1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was established
in Switzerland. 

1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed
it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and Detroit,
MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been printed on a
train. 

1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified.
It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax. 

1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings burned
down. 

1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, which
had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 

1918 The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It is the longest
streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet. 

1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore Pierre
Laval to office. 

1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II on the winning side
against Japan. 

1951 The Tennessee Williams play, "The Rose Tattoo", opened on
Broadway in New York. 

1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the Moon
was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. 

1969 At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo, Yasser
Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO. 

1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at Sapporo,
Japan. 

1984 Challenger 4 was launched as the tenth space shuttle
mission. 

1998 Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first woman
executed in the U.S. since 1984. 

1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing the
death of 20 skiers on a lift. 

2009 Eric Holder was sworn in as attorney general. He was the
first African-American to hold the post. 

2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold
for $103.7 million. 

2015 The British House of Commons voted to approve letting
scientist create babies from the DNA of three people. 

2017  smiled.


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Fix for when Windows is not updating 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, February 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pussy-brain judge in Texas wears pussy-hat in court
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 2 in
1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by 
Pedro de Mendoza of Spain.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Linda Do You Know What Day It Is? ======================== Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life! ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds, is in good health, and he's already used to getting yelled at and taking orders LadyDi ______________________________________________________ From Linda on FB Looks like Skagway, Alaska to me. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Noella An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sarah Ekhardt, 57, Travis County, Texas Pussy-brain judge in Texas wears pussy-hat in court A judge in Travis County, Texas showed up to the bench earlier this week wearing a notable clothing item, a "Marching Vaginas Pussy Hat", from where some women in a few towns where Democrats won, protested that Americans had elected Melania's hubby instead of Broom Hilda. (via IJR). The worst part, though, is the city said it's perfectly legal for her to do so. Travis county is currently about to be defunded because of not obeying state law regarding illegal immigrant felons. A photo of Judge Sarah Eckhardt wearing the "Marching Vaginas Pussy Hat" in her courtroom first appeared on Facebook, then soon after, went viral on Twitter. One tweet questioned whether defendants felt they could "expect a fair trial, especially as a man" if the judge was wearing a pussy hat. However, apparently she has been known to be a raving Democrat and not letting legalities stand in her way. Should Judge Sarah Eckhardt be awarded a Pussyhead award instead of a Bonehead Award? Vote with your PayPal! (I need to get my car fixed) If the result is an even number of dollars, I'll design a Pussyhead Award, if it is an odd number, I will call it a Sarah Eckhardt award. Your call! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terrie Re: Windows Patches Dear Webby I still have not got those Windows patches that are mentioned in some magazines. Why am I being excluded? Terrie Dear Terrie Don't panic. Windows is not going to fall down and break. They are just fixing old bugs and putting new ones in. Most likely you have Automatic Updates turned off. Just click on START, ALL PROGRAMS Windows Update And get your patches that way. In there you can also set your updating preferences. Have FUN! DearWebby
Office trick for the day: Print a neat little label and glue it onto a piece of metal or cardboard large enough to cover the button panel on the photocopier. Attach it with double-sided tape. On the label print: This copier is now VOICE activated. Please speak loudly and clearly.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Your Feet Dry With Plastic Bags By Cyinda [214 Posts, 1,286 Comments] When we were kids and wanted to play outside in the rain or snow, we didn't have boots. My mother would put plastic bags over our socks then put our shoes on then cover the plastic bags up with our pants. My mom used bread bags but I used recycled plastic grocery bags for my kids. These days I still cover my socks with plastic bags before I go out into the snow. It's one more useful thing you can do with those plastic bags that are just waiting to be reused! By CDR
What to do with your old ship
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Bonnie for this one: One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons." He said. "One, they don't like me,and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!" ___________________________________________________
The haunting images of an abandoned Italian villa. Makes one wonder why it's sitting there so lonely.
When I attended a convention of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texan said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas." The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state in the Union that can out-lie Texas."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 2
1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by Pedro
de Mendoza of Spain. 

1653 New Amsterdam, now known as New York City, was
incorporated. 

1848 The Mexican War was ended with the signing of the
Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. The treaty turned over portions
of land to the U.S., including Texas, New Mexico, Nevada,
Utah, Arizona, California and parts of Colorado and Wyoming.
The U.S. gave Mexico $15,000,000 and assumed responsibility
of all claims against Mexico by American citizens. Texas had
already entered the U.S. on December 29, 1845. 

1848 The first shipload of Chinese emigrants arrived in San
Francisco, CA. 

1863 Samuel Langhorne Clemens used a pseudonym for the first
time. He is better remembered by the pseudonym which is Mark
Twain. 

1878 Greece declared war on Turkey. 

1880 The S.S. Strathleven arrived in London with the first
successful shipment of frozen mutton from Australia. 

1887 The beginning of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA. 

1892 William Painter patented the bottle cap. 

1893 The Edison Studio in West Orange, NJ, made history when
they filmed the first motion picture close-up. The studio
was owned and operated by Thomas Edison. 

1897 The Pennsylvania state capitol in Harrisburg was
destroyed by fire. The new statehouse was dedicated nine
years later on the same site. 

1913 Grand Central Terminal officially opened at 12:01 a.m.
Even though construction was not entirely complete more than
150,000 people visited the new terminal on its opening day. 

1935 Leonard Keeler conducted the first test of the
polygraph machine, in Portage, WI. 

1943 During World War II, the remainder of Nazi forces from
the Battle of Stalingrad surrendered to the Soviets.
Stalingrad has since been renamed Volgograd. 

1945 U.S. President Roosevelt and British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill left for a summit in Yalta with Soviet
leader Josef Stalin. 

1946 The first Buck Rogers automatic pistol was made. 

1962 The 8th and 9th planets aligned for the first time in
400 years. 

1971 Idi Amin assumed power in Uganda after a coup that
ousted President Milton Obote. 

1989 The final Russian armored column left Kabul,
Afghanistan, after nine years of military occupation. 

1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk lifted a ban on
the African National Congress and promised to free Nelson
Mandela. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton introduced the first balanced
budget in 30 years. 

1999 19 people were killed at Luanda international airport
when a cargo plane crashed just after takeoff. 

1999 Hugo Chávez Frías took office. He had been elected
president of Venezuela in December 1998. 

2004 It was reported that a white powder had been found in
an office of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. The CDC
(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) later confirmed
that the powder was the poison ricin.

2017  smiled.


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Clean site about space 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, February 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ohio doctor pleads guilty to drug, tax evasion charges
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, February 1 in
1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented 
the steamboat. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. --- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink... GIRL : Why not ? BOY : I'm broke. GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number? ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bobbie for bringing back this classic: A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole in a blizzard." ______________________________________________________ From Wendy Best TV Tray! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dr. Kevin Lake 50, Columbus, Ohio Ohio doctor pleads guilty to drug, tax evasion charges A doctor and former university trustee pleaded guilty Monday to charges of tax evasion and running a pill mill in Columbus that served hundreds of patients a day, authorities said. Dr. Kevin Lake acknowledged knowing that doctors and staff at his Columbus medical clinic were prescribing painkillers without a legitimate medical purpose, according to the indictment and plea deal made public Monday. Lake oversaw illegal operations at Columbus Southern Medical Center that included more than $38 million in patient payments, the government said. Hundreds of patients showed up each day — most of them returning patients — for prescriptions of oxycodone, hydrocodone and Xanax, the U.S. Attorney's Office said. Lake admitted engaging in more than $20 million in money laundering transactions with clinic proceeds, prosecutors said. Lake also evaded $3.5 million in taxes, authorities said. The deal calls for Lake to serve five years in prison. A sentencing date was not set. A message was left with Lake's attorney seeking comment. Lake "got rich by feeding the addictions of hundreds and hundreds of people," said Benjamin Glassman, U.S. Attorney for Columbus and the southern half of Ohio. Lake, 50, served one year as a Bowling Green State University trustee in 2009. He resigned when he was appointed by then-Gov. Ted Strickland to a nine-year term as Ohio University trustee beginning in 2010. He resigned from that position effective immediately on Jan. 21. The university declined to comment. The state medical board lists Lake's status as a doctor as active. Three others already have pleaded guilty in the case, including two doctors at the clinic and a clinic employee. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brenda Re: Clean site about space Dear Webby Do you have a link to a site about stars that does not have ads that may be unsuitable for kids? I don`t want a high tech site, but something like the Sky Maps we used to have as kids. Thanks Brenda Dear Brenda Look on the right side of the Humor Letter ands scoot down the side menu to a link called Sky Map. There is your old-fashioned Sky Map with all instructions. Have FUN! DearWebby
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely. "The front row please." She answered. "You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring." "Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. "No." he said. "I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly. "Do you know who I am?" he asked. "No." she said. "Good," he answered.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coffee Mug Cake Recipes By Sirrush [1 Post, 22 Comments] Ingredients: 4 Tbsp. flour 4 Tbsp. sugar 2 Tbsp. cocoa 3 Tbsp. oil 3 Tbsp. milk 3 Tbsp. chocolate chips (optional) 1 egg splash of vanilla extract Directions: Mix dry ingredients first in a med/large coffee mug, then add the wet ones. Microwave for 3 minutes in a 1000 watt nuker. Instant and easy 5 minute chocolate cake! Serve it alamode, drizzle with chocolate syrup, inject with caramel... the possibilities are endless. By Sirrush from Alamo, New Mexico
It's a Great Day to Whip Somebody's A**
____________________________________________________ Fred's teenage daughter, who does not have amobile phone, has been trying to run away from home for a year, but every time she gets to the front door, the phone rings." ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
Thanks to Bonnie for this one: In the washroom at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "THOAP!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on February 1
1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented the
steamboat. 

1793 France declared war on Britain and Holland. 

1793 Ralph Hodgson patented oiled silk. 

1842 In New York City, the "City Despatch Post" began
operations. It was a private company that was the first to
introduce adhesive postage stamps in the western hemisphere.
The company was bought by the U.S. governemnt a few months
laster and renamed "United States City Despatch Post." 

1862 "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," by Julia Ward Howe was
first published in the "Atlantic Monthly." 

1867 In the U.S., bricklayers start working 8-hour days. 

1884 The first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary was
published. 

1893 Thomas A. Edison completed work on the world's first
motion picture studio in West Orange, NJ. 

1896 Puccini's opera "La Boheme" premiered in Turin. 

1898 The Travelers Insurance Company of Hartford, CT, issued
the first automobile insurance policy. Dr. Truman Martin of
Buffalo, NY, paid $11.25 for the policy, which gave him $5,000
in liability coverage. 

1900 Eastman Kodak Co. introduced the $1 Brownie box camera. 

1913 Grand Central Terminal (also known as Grand Central
Station) opened in New York City, NY. It was the largest train
station in the world. 

1920 The first armored car was introduced. 

1920 Canada's Royal North West Mounted Police changed their
name to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The organization was
commissioned in 1873. 

1921 Carmen Fasanella registered as a taxicab owner and driver
in Princeton, New Jersey. Fasanella retired November 2, 1989
after 68 years and 243 days of service. 

1929 Weightlifter Charles Rigoulet of France achieved the first
400 pound ‘clean and jerk’ as he lifted 402-1/2 pounds. 

1951 The first telecast of an atomic explosion took place. 

1951 The first X-ray moving picture process was demonstrated. 

1958 The United Arab Republic was formed by a union of Egypt
and Syria. It was broken 1961. 

1960 Four black college students began a sit-in protest at a
lunch counter in Greensboro, NC. They had been refused service.


1968 During the Vietnam War, South Vietnamese National Police
Chief Brig. Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan executed a Viet Cong officer
with a pistol shot to the head. The scene was captured in a
news photograph that the opposition press used for campaigning
against the US government.

1979 Patty Hearst was released from prison after serving 22
months of a seven-year sentence for bank robbery. Her sentence
had been commuted by U.S. President Carter. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was welcomed in Tehran as he
ended nearly 15 years of exile. 

1987 Terry Williams won the largest slot machine payoff, at the
time, when won $4.9 million after getting four lucky 7s on a
machine in Reno, NV. 

1991 A USAir jetliner crashed atop a commuter plane at Los
Angeles International Airport. 35 people were killed. 

1994 Jeff Gillooly pled guilty in Portland, OR, for his role in
the attack on figure skater Nancy Kerrigan. Gillooly, Tonya
Harding's ex-husband, struck a plea bargain under which he
confessed to racketeering charges in exchange for testimony
implicating Harding. 

1996 Visa and Mastercard announced security measures that would
make it safe to shop on the Internet. 

1999 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky gave a
deposition that was videotaped for senators weighing
impeachment charges against U.S. President Clinton. 

2001 Three Scottish judges found Abdel Basset al-Mergrahi
guilty of the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, which killed
270 people. The court said that Megrahi was a member of the
Libyan intelligence service. Al-Amin Khalifa, who had been co-
accused, was acquitted and freed. 

2003 NASA's space shuttle Columbia exploded while re-entering
the Earth's atmosphere. All seven astronauts on board were
killed.

2017  smiled.


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Capture pictures from PPS 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 31

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar caused home owner to get shot and killed by cops
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 30 in
1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of
venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. --- Jonathan Winters A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping. --- Kenneth Tynan Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Requested by Celia: Have you still got the one about the Australian, who went for beer, while his wifew was delivering? Yes, sure. A perennial favorite: Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves. Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he is the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another one on the way, so call back later." At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth one is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch. Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording is still going strong: "The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last one was a duck." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" "Stay the heck away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking." ______________________________________________________ From FB Imagine the racket they make! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan Brian Jetter-Clark, 23, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Burglar caused home owner to get shot and killed by cops "They shot the wrong guy," the victim's ex-wife said. Police fatally shot an armed Pittsburgh man inside his home Sunday as officers responded to a call about a burglary in progress, authorities said. Christopher Thompkins ex-wife, Brenda Richmond, said the nightmare began around 4 a.m. when the couple woke to a stranger standing in their bedroom. "I opened my eyes and a man was standing there above us," Richmond, 51, who had reconciled with her ex-husband years ago, told the Pittsburg Post-Gazette. Richmond said Thompkins, 57, asked for her handgun, which was licensed to her. The burglar fled their room, but she said Thompkins became concerned for his elderlyblind and disabled mother who was sleeping downstairs. "He was just saying, 'My mom, my mom,'" she told The Tribune Review. "That's all he was worrying about." Thompkins hurried down their homes staircase and opened fire at the burglar. Two officers, who were about to attempt to enter the home after receiving a call about a possible burglary in progress shot through the closed door without warning and killed Thompkins. Richmond said that she wasn't aware that a security alarm had been tripped, alerting local police. She later called 911 herself after climbing out onto her house's roof, she told the Post-Gazette. Suspect Juan Brian Jetter-Clark, 23, was taken into custody at the scene for criminal trespass, police said. "They shot the wrong guy," Richmond told the Tribune. "He didn't want to hurt no cops. He was trying to save his mother." Speaking to the Post-Gazette, she said she realizes that officers were just trying to do their job. "They heard somebody shooting, they shoot," she said. Still, she said she wishes that "the protocol can be made better." Theoretically they should have announced their presence, not just shot through the door. According to the Post-Gazette, Thompkins spent 10 years in prison for the shooting death of another man during a domestic dispute involving Richmond. The couple was married at the time of the 1994 shooting but had been separated for a month. Richmond said Thompkins "was not the same man today that he was back then." In a statement, police said that the two officers involved have been placed on administrative leave. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Martin Re: Capturing pictures from PowerPoint Presentrations Dear Webby I'd just like to capture the picture, not the drivel. Some would make great wallpaper. Ideas? Martin Dear Martin Open PSP or any decent paint program Start the Powerpoint Presentation Just hit PrintScreen when you get to the slide that you want That prints it to the clipboard. Hit ESC out ALT TAB to get out of the PPS and into PSP CTRL V to open the capture as a picture ALT TAB back into the PPS and so on. ALT TAB jumps you from the open application to the one you were in just before, and you can jump back and forth easily. However, ALT TAB is quite literal. It jumps to the previous one, not the one before that. To avoid jumping from PSP to your mail, temporarily drag the PPS file onto the desktop and open it from there. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Wayne During a recent business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The cast iron weights were bright yellow and black and marked, "14,000 lbs." But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flying."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gluten Free Lemon Bars By Ida Claire [10 Posts, 20 Comments] Total Time: 40 minutes Yield: 9-12 depending on how you cut them Source: Bethel Methodist Church cookbook Ingredients: Crust 1/2 cup butter-softened 1/3 cup sugar 1 cup gluten free Bisquick Pam cooking spray Filling 3/4 cup sugar 2 eggs 3 Tbsp gluten free Bisquick zest from 1 large lemon juice from 1 large lemon Topping powdered sugar Steps: Combine softened butter, sugar and gluten free Bisquick in a bowl and mix together until it resembles coarse crumbs. Spray a 9x9 inch baking dish with Pam. Be sure to get the sides sprayed well too. Press crumb mixture into the bottom of dish. Pack down well, especially around the edges. Bake this at 350 degrees F for 15-17 minutes until edges are brown. While this is cooking mix the eggs, sugar and Bisquick together in a bowl. Grate lemon peel from a large lemon and then juice the lemon and add to mixture. Beat on medium speed until blended. Once the crust is finished cooking, pour the wet mixture on top of crust. Be sure to stir the mixture up real good right before pouring over crust. Return to oven and continue baking until top is golden; about 20 minutes. When done remove from oven and sprinkle with powdered sugar. While still hot, take a spatula and gently go around the edges of the dish. This will make removal easier once it has cooled. Once it is cooled, cut into squares and enjoy!
for your popping enjoyment
____________________________________________________ Newspapers 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who like seeing the news twisted to be suitable for badmouthing any Republican government. Facts are irrelevant, as long as the date is correct. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country .... or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they strenuously oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats. 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores. 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store. ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
Seen in an office downtown: Office Rules 1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it's a friend, take a break. 5) If it's the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. 7) If it's handwritten, type it. 8) If it's typed, copy it. 9) If it's copied, file it. 10) If it's Friday, forget it!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 31
1606 Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his
role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English Parliament
and King James I. 

1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of
venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 

1858 The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship
designed by Brunel, was launched at Millwall. 

1865 In America, General Robert E. Lee was named general-in-
chief of the Confederate armies. 

1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed
by the U.S. House of Representatives. It was ratified by the
necessary number of states on December 6, 1865. The
amendment abolished slavery in the United States. 

1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into
reservations. 

1893 The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the
United States Patent Office. 

1917 Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine
warfare. 

1929 The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in
Mexico. 

1930 U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider
pilot to have his craft released from a dirigible, a large
blimp, at Lakehurst, NJ. 

1934 Jim Londos defeated Joe Savoldi in a one-fall match in
Chicago, IL. The crowd of 20,000 was one of the largest
crowds to see a wrestling match. 

1936 The radio show "The Green Hornet" debuted. 

1940 The first Social Security check was issued by the U.S.
Government. 

1944 During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein
Atoll and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands.


1945 Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since
the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion. 

1946 A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six
constituent republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia,
Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a
central authority, on the model of the USSR. 

1949 The first TV daytime soap opera was broadcast from
NBC's station in Chicago, IL. It was "These Are My
Children." 

1950 U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered
development of the hydrogen bomb. 

1958 Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was
the first U.S. earth satellite. 

1971 Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and
Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission to
the moon. 

1971 Telephone service between East and West Berlin was re-
established after 19 years. 

1982 Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan"
in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without
missing a show. 

1983 The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory in
Britain. 

1983 JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1
billion over the next five years to modernize stores and to
accelerate a repositioning program. 

1985 The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the AMC
plant in Toledo, OH. 

1990 McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant
in Moscow, Russia. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency
authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to
stabilize its economy. 

1996 In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the
gates of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives
killed at least 86 and injured 1,400. 

2000 John Rocker (Atlanta Braves) was suspended from major
league baseball for disparaging foreigners, homosexuals and
minorities in an interview published by Sports Illustrated. 

2000 An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off
Southern California. All 88 people on board were killed. 

2001 A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one
Libyan and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988. 

2017  smiled.


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Transferring 1500 pictures 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Fisherman's $500K Catch Could Get Him Life in Prison
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 30 in
1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on 
the River Tyne.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. --- Peter Steiner The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. --- Flannery O'Connor (1925 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Texan, a Scot and a Californian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Texan, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the Texan, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Californian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew was back here." "That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the Texan, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Californian was waiting for the government to pay his." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. Today is Monday, the day YOU drive." ______________________________________________________ From FB Zhangjiajie National Park China, by Thomas Dawson ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thomas Breeding, 32, Panama City, Floriduh Fisherman's $500K Catch Could Get Him Life in Prison Thomas Breeding chose to sell cocaine bale When commercial fisherman Thomas Breeding found 45 pounds of cocaine floating in the Gulf of Mexico last January, he says he knew the right thing was to turn it over to police. The Florida man instead opted to sell it, a decision that could land him in prison for life. Breeding—a 32-year-old boat captain with drug and weapons convictions, per the Panama City News Herald—says he hadn't "ever been involved in the drug trade before. I was just a hard-working, young commercial fisherman." But the package—worth $500,000 to $620,000 on the street, per AL.com—was apparently too tempting. In June, he gave the cocaine to four others, who sold the drug and paid Breeding a cut. Authorities unraveled the scheme and charged all five with conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Breeding, found with a gun in his vehicle, also was charged with unlawfully transporting a firearm. Like his co-defendants, Breeding pleaded guilty to the drug charge on Wednesday. He now faces a maximum sentence of life in prison and a $4.25 million fine, and he's warning others not to follow his lead. "I would like to let the public know the dangers and what not to do if this situation comes about," says Breeding, who is to be sentenced Feb. 16. "This changed my life and way of thinking and also made me aware of some of the dangers that can be found off shore." It makes no difference whether he bought it in Mexico or found it near Floriduh. It is cocaine. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: Transfering pictures Dear Webby I have about 15000 digital photos, all titled and arranged in folders. I also have a new computer. Is there any way to get the pictures, titles and folders into the new computer easily. The program I tried just put the pictures on the CD, nothing else. Thanks for your help. Dave S. Dear David The easiest way is to network the computers. Just get a $4.95 crossover cable and set up a home network, or network via the router. Then you can drag entire folders including their sub-folders over to the new machine. Setting up the home network is easy. Just go into the network set-up wizard and hit Enter a whole bunch of times. There are only very few questions that you have to actually answer. Keep in mind that you will meet some resistance and will have to mess with sharing and permissions, but it's not a big deal. Open all permissions wide. You can always close them after the big move. Then simply drag the directory tree with the pictures to the new machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?". The little boy pondered for a minute and replied "Spinach ? Broccoli ?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cornstarch, Vinegar and Water for Window Cleaning By Robyn [469 Posts, 873 Comments] A wonderful window cleaner can be made out of the following: Mix 2 cups of hot water with 1/4 cup of vinegar and a tablespoon of cornstarch. Mix very well, and the pour into a spray bottle. Use with crumpled up newspaper. The windows will shine!
- o what's "wrong" with this video? No cheating by reading the comments Thanks
____________________________________________________ During an arctic training exercise in Alaska a cold snap played havoc with vehicles and equipment. One harassed new battery commander was trying to cope with vehicles that wouldn't run and machinery that wouldn't work. He was wondering what else could go wrong when the door flew open and a soldier rushed in and announced, "Hey, captain, the northern lights are out! Exasperated and without looking, the captain barked, "Well, don't tell me! Go get the generator mechanic and have him fix the dang things!" ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
A vacationing golfer was out playing on a course that he had never played before. He hired a caddie from the pro shop to show him the layout of the course, and help him decide what shots to play. On the first tee, the golfer missed his shot, and it dribbled forward about 15 yards. He was slightly embarrassed, but determined to play a better second shot. He hit his second shot into the bordering fairway, and his third shot into a sand trap. By the time he holed out on this Par 4, he was 6 over par. The man turned to his caddie and said, "Well, I have never played this badly before!" To which the caddie replied, "What game are you playing, Sir ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 30
1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 

1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the River
Tyne. 

1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives took
place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold fought on
the House floor. 

1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 

1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", was
launched. 

1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old
mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his
hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 

1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 

1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask for a
larger army. 

1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway.
The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 

1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer
"Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean
about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 

1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time.
The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 

1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 

1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was
murdered by a Hindu extremist. 

1958 Yves Saint Laurent, at age 22, held his first major
fashion show in Paris. 

1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at
Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through the
airport was 1,435 feet. 

1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were
killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a
performance in Detroit, MI. 

1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned
spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally
crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any
pictures to Earth. 

1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched
surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 

1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed
thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known
as "Bloody Sunday." 

1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided
to allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been
living in exile in France. 

1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 

1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a
6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security
responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 

1995 Researchers from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
announced that clinical trials had demonstrated the
effectiveness of the first preventative treatment for sickle
cell anaemia. 

1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National
Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his
unemployment benefit. 

1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female
prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner
bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an
abortion. 

2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of
an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was
defending his actions during the Balkan wars. 

2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due
to high production costs and cheap imports. 

2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958
took place. 

2017  smiled.


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Sneaky way to dump spam, that has your address forged into the sender field 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Former Tennessee college student allegedly stalked teen 
cheerleader before fatally shooting her.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 28 in
1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Never answer a critic, unless he's right. --- Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965) It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. --- Evelyn Waugh Those who boast of their descent, brag on what they owe to others. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ginny for this one: After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman. "Is Robert there?" I asked. "He's in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up. When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Robert," he said. "You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed. "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, I've got a sore butt, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?" The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking." "Fair enough," replied the lush. "Happens to me too. I'll come back when you sober up." ______________________________________________________ From FB Murray Lundberg, Alaska ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Riley Gaul, 18, Maryville, Tennessee Former Tennessee college student allegedly stalked teen cheerleader before fatally shooting her. A former college football player stalked a high school cheerleader for weeks before fatally shooting her as she slept inside her east Tennessee home, newly filed charges claim. William Riley Gaul, 18, was charged Monday with first-degree murder, aggravated stalking, theft, tampering with evidence, reckless endangerment, employing a firearm during a dangerous felony, and felony murder, WVLT-TV reported. Gaul has been behind bars since November when 16-year-old Emma Walker was found fatally wounded in her Knoxville home. Authorities said the two had been in a relationship and that Walker had broken up with the former Maryville College student before she was killed. The indictment against Gaul says the teen was deeply distraught over her decision, Maryville’s The Daily Times reported. "She had chosen to move on," Walker’s aunt, Jenny Weldon, told The Knoxville News Sentinel in December of her niece’s decision. "He refused to accept it. He chose not to accept her wishes." Gaul allegedly proceeded to stalk Walker throughout October and November before he hid outside her home and fired a gun – one that he reportedly took from his grandfather into her bedroom on the morning of Nov. 23, The Daily Times reported citing a copy of the indictment. Walker was pronounced dead at the scene, authorities said. “He knew where she was when he shot through the house," Maj. Michael K. MacLean, of the Knox County Sheriff’s Office, previously told the News Sentinel. In a dark twist, in the hours after Walker’s death, Gaul took to social media to profess his love for the slain teen. He was arrested one day later when authorities said he tried to hide evidence in the shooting. The District Attorney’s office did not respond to a request for comment Wednesday. Gaul’s bond has been set at $1 million. His next court date is scheduled for Jan. 30, online records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dolores Re: Spam with my address as sender Dear Webby Lately I have been getting more and more spam with my address forged in as the sender. How can I stop that? I sometimes send mail to myself, so I can't just filter for the sender address. Help! Dolores Dear Dolores If you don't have a home network set up, set one up. Just use the Network Wizard. Give your machine a very colorful name, for example MORKY1. You don't really need any other machines, just set up your machine as first machine of a network. Then send an email to yourself and look at the header. In there you will now see the name that you have given your machine. With MailWasher it's easy to make a filter for that. If the FROM address CONTAINS dolores@.... AND the ENTIRE HEADER DOESN'T CONTAIN MORKY1 then delete the mail, automatically, without showing it in the list. After that, you will never again be bothered with spam that has your address forged in, but you can send memos to yourself all you want, and those will come through reliably. Sneaky, but it works! Have FUN! DearWebby
The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a pub in Dublin. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives three villages right down the river, but he occasionally comes in here around 6 PM. I'll page you if he shows up."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Healthy Breakfast Burritos By melissa [293 Posts, 425 Comments] Quick and easy recipe to make. Pack a nutritional punch you just can't get through a fast-food drive-through! Total Time: about 20 minutes Yield: 6 large burritos Source: Self Ingredients: 12 eggs 1 cup spinach, chopped 1/2 cup bell peppers, chopped 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved 6 large white mushrooms, sliced 1 1/2 cup Colby jack cheese, shredded 1 1/2 Tbsp butter 6 spinach tortillas salsa Steps: Using an electric hand mixer, blend your eggs thoroughly. Shred, slice and chop remaining ingredients, except the tortillas.:) Melt your butter in a large pan over medium/high heat. Healthy Breakfast Burritos - cooking the eggs and veggies Stir continuously for about 6 minutes, or until set. Sprinkle your cheese on top and let melt. Add a portion of this to a tortilla, top with salsa if desired. Enjoy!
- o what's "wrong" with this video? No cheating by reading the comments Thanks
____________________________________________________ Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives. Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money. Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves? A: Buy her a nice ring. Q: What's long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night? A: A last name. ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
I was waiting to talk to the pharmacist at the local drug store about his web site when a sweet young lady from the neighborhood came in. She had just recently gotten married. She was looking at the men's toiletries. and the clerk asked her if she needed any assistance. I heard her say, "Well, I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband , but I don't know what kind he uses." The clerk asked, "Is it the ball type?" I almost lost it when she responded, "Oh No ...It's for his under his arms."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 29
1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 

1848 Greenwich Mean Time was adopted by Scotland. 

1856 Britain's highest military decoration, the Victoria Cross,
was founded by Queen Victoria. 

1886 The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built by Karl
Benz, was patented. Otto's car was earlier, but not patented.

1916 In World War I, Paris was bombed by German zeppelins for the
first time. 

1924 R. Taylor patented the ice cream cone rolling machine. 

1940 The W. Atlee Burpee Seed Company displayed the first
tetraploid flowers at the New York City Flower Show. 

1949 "The Newport News" was commissioned as the first air-
conditioned naval ship in Virginia. 

1958 Charles Starkweather was captured by police in Wyoming. 

1963 Britain was refused entry into the EEC. 

1979 U.S. President Carter formally welcomed Chinese Vice Premier
Deng Xiaoping to the White House. The visit followed the
establishment of diplomatic relations. 

1987 "Physician’s Weekly" announced that the smile on the face of
Leonardo DeVinci's Mona Lisa was caused by a "...facial paralysis
resulting from a swollen nerve behind the ear." 

1990 Joseph Hazelwood, the former skipper of the Exxon Valdez,
went on trial in Anchorage, AK, on charges that stemmed from
America's worst oil spill. Hazelwood was later acquitted of all
the major charges and was convicted of a misdemeanor. 

1996 French President Jacques Chirac announced the "definitive
end" to nuclear testing. 

1996 La Fenice, the 204 year old opera house in Venice, was
destroyed by fire. Arson was suspected. 

1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated
customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. Customers
were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat $19.95-a-month
rate. 

1998 A bomb exploded at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, AL,
killing an off-duty policeman and severely wounding a nurse. Eric
Rudolph was charged with this bombing and three other attacks in
Atlanta. 

1999 Paris prosecutors announced the end of the investigation
into the accident that killed Britain's Princess Diana. Everybody
involved was drunk and stoned.

2001 In Indonesia, thousands of student protesters stormed the
parliament property and demanded that President Abdurrahman Wahid
quit due to his alleged involvement in two corruption scandals.
Wahid announced that he would not resign. 

2014 Archaeologists announced that they had uncovered what they
believed to be the oldest temple in Roman antiquity. The temple
was found at the Sant Omobono site in central Rome. 

2017  smiled.


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Best spam control 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Teacher had sex with student and then got blackmailed
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 28 in
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer 
Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you-- if you don't play, you can't win. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) "Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders." --- Nietzsche ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are placed in separate rooms and left with a can of food, but no can opener. A day later, the rooms are opened, one-by-one. In the first room, the engineer is snoring, with a battered, opened and emptied can. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he beat the can to its failure point. In the second room, the physicist is seen mouthing equations, with a can popped open beside him. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he examined the stress points of the can, applied pressure, and "pop!" In the third room, the mathematician is found sweating, and mumbling to himself, "For tax purposes, let's assume that the can is open. For tax purposes, let's assume that the can is open. For..." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a lazy old fart." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the latin term so I can tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thao Sandy Doan, 27, West Oak Cliff, Texas Teacher had sex with student and then got blackmailed A Texas middle school teacher charged with sexually assaulting an eighth-grade student may lose her freedom and nearly $30,000 police said she paid the teenager for his silence. Thao "Sandy" Doan, 27, a math teacher at Raul Quintanilla Senior Middle School in West Oak Cliff, was charged Friday with last year’s sexual assault of a student, who was 14 at the time. Doan was freed on $25,000 bond. According to an affidavit for a search warrant obtained by the Dallas Morning News, Doan was making massive blackmail payments to the teen to buy his silence. The scheme fell apart when the teen’s mother found a disturbing text message on her son’s cellphone. The Dallas Independent School District Police Department began investigating this month. “He received a message from the teacher that morning, saying, "I'll be at a meeting until 11 o’clock and I'll drop off the money to the address you told me to," the student’s mother, who asked not to be identified, told Fort Worth’s CBS 11 News. The mysterious message, along with the mother’s impression that her son suddenly had a lot of money, led her to suspect he was selling drugs, she said. According to the police affidavit, Doan admitted to investigators that she exchanged explicit text messages with the teen and confessed to sexually assaulting him on at least three occasions. She said the student extorted cash from her in exchange for his silence, the document says. Doan appeared to have used her savings and payday loans to give her victim roughly $28,000, according to police. "She did bad," the teen’s mother, referring to the teacher, told Fort Worth’s FOX 4 News. "And I’m not condoning what he did, because I know he was wrong at what he also did, because blackmailing is not acceptable." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Spam Control Dear Webby hello my friend, just wanted to tell you i'm still voting and ask a question. is there a spam blocker that will block spam before it get's to your comp. but at the same time be simple enough for a computer illerate like myself to use? thanks, daniel Dear Daniel Yes, there sure is. Just click on the FireTrust Mailwasher button on the right here in the Humor Letter. I have used it for about 16 years now and would be lost without it. I have tested others, but always keep coming back to MailWasher. The major difference is that MailWasher a) gets rid of the spam without downloading it b) is really easy for making precision filters d) is 100% reliable e) has a recycle bin for retrieving stuff accidentally deleted. What more do you want? Have FUN! DearWebby
Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, "Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies, "Yes Judge, that is correct." "And how do you explain this unusual conduct?" the judge inquires. Phil replies, "Your Honor, my Ma told me not to interrupt when a woman is speaking."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Valentine's Day on a Shoestring Budget Due to unforeseen circumstances, my budget for this year's Valentine's Day will be very small. I will not be able to afford expensive food or a lavish dessert, but that does not mean that I want to skimp on the celebrations. Valentine's Day on a Shoestring Budget By Benetta [277 Posts, 170 Comments] Due to unforeseen circumstances, my budget for this year's Valentine's Day will be very small. I will not be able to afford expensive food or a lavish dessert, but that does not mean that I want to skimp on the celebrations. A heart shaped butterscotch pudding dessert, on a plate. I decided to make a dessert with butterscotch instant pudding, but to add a touch to make it more special. Obviously I wanted to practice first, not leaving it for Valentine's Day, to see if it would look good enough to do the trick. I used six small heart-shaped silicone molds, which I first sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. I added a crust (made from crushed vanilla wafers and a little bit of melted butter) to the bottom of each mold. Then I filled each mold to the brim with instant pudding and dusted the top with grated chocolate. Into the freezer so that the molds would set. To serve, I dusted the plate with cocoa powder and icing sugar, turned the heart out on the plate and added a cherry on top. Serve immediately and voila! Perfect! I think this should do the trick, don't you think? Instead of expensive instant pudding you can use Birds Custard, just like your Great Gramma used. It is still available, though you might have to look on high shelves in the baking supplies isles. In addition to lower cost and better taste, you don't need to spray the molds with WD40 or PAM, just wet them with cold water. Birds Custard is neutral with a very slight Vanilla flavor. You can flavor it any way you want, chocolate, fruit, mint, malt, whatever turns your crank that day. From living in the bush I got used to using cans of condensed milk. One can of milk, one can of melted snow or water, 1 TBSP of honey, bring to just about boiling. In the meantime mix 1 heaping TBSP Bird Custard powder with just enough water to make a smooth paste. Wash and wet a bunch of small bowls and set them out for easy filling. Hammer or cut a square of Baker's Semi-Sweet chocolate to small bits and have it ready. When the milk is just about boiling, stir in the paste and keep stirring. It will thicken fast. When it makes blb-blb-blb sounds, swirl in the chocolate bits for a nice marble and pour the custard into the wet bowls. Let them cool and enjoy.
- the galaxy
____________________________________________________ How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don't have to be good to get everyone's attention. ___________________________________________________
Making soap the old fashioned way.
Bob and his wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged down. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. Bob readily accepted and minutes later the car was free. Bob looked at the muddy tracks around the puddle and remarked that a lot of cars must be getting stuck there. "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today, the farmer said" Bob looked around at the fields incredulously and asked the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? You must do it at night." "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole. My wife plows and disks the farm with the tractor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 28
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer Luther
was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 

1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by his 9
year-old son, Edward VI. 

1788 The first British penal settlement in Australia was founded
at Botany Bay. 

1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit by gaslight. 

1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War. 

1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed in New Haven,
CT. 

1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba. 

1915 The Coast Guard was created by an act of the U.S. Congress
to fight contraband trade and aid distressed vessels at sea. 

1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland. 

1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce legalized
abortion. 

1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching China
over the newly reopened Burma Road. 

1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium nuclear
reactor. 

1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any U.S.
company in history. 

1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran,
on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic
passports. The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy
in Tehran. 

1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier General
James L. Dozier 42 days after he had been kidnapped by the Red
Brigades. 

1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after
takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed. 

1998 In Manilla, Philippines, gunmen held at least 400 children
and teachers for several hours at an elementary school. 

1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's Volvo
AB for $6.45 billion. 

2002 Toys R Us Inc. announced that it would be closing 27 Toys R
Us stores and 37 Kids R Us stores in order to cut costs and boost
operating profits.

2017  smiled.


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Recipe site 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support 
for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pregnant woman beaten by sister in weave dispute
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 26 in
1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators
 began. They were executed on January 31. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously. --- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. --- Benjamin Franklin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of being happily married, the man had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life, he would have to stop having sex with his wife. The man and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation. One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming up to die." She laughed and replied, "And I was coming down to kill you!" They both outlived his doctor. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bobby, a devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences on uncle Jack's farm. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, with great joy..."It's a miracle!" "Not Really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aryanna Ieasha Reed, 25, Jacksonville, Floriduh Pregnant woman beaten by sister in weave dispute Angered that her one month pregnant sister refused to return a weave, a Florida woman allegedly pummeled her sibling, according to cops who arrested the accused assailant on a felony battery charge. Police allege that Aryanna Ieasha Reed, 25, battered her sister Tyteahni, 24, during a confrontation Saturday afternoon at the victim’s Jacksonville apartment. As detailed in a police report, Tyteahni told investigators that Reed had called her to demand the return of the hairpiece, which Reed had given to her sister as a Christmas present. When Tyteahni refused to return the weave, Aryanna “came to the victim’s apartment and confronted her.” Tyteahni again “refused to give it to her because she had it on her head and didn’t want to go to work without it on her head.” At that point, the sisters began scuffling, with Reed attempting to snatch the weave off Tyteahni’s head. Reed then allegedly began raining punches down on her sister, who is a month into her pregnancy. Police noted that while Tyteahni appeared uninjured, “She said that she was very sore and was going to the hospital to get her and her unborn baby checked out.” During a police interview, Tyteahni’s five-year-old daughter said that Reed came to the family’s home and “beat her mommy up.” Reed told cops that a “physical altercation” occurred in the apartment, but she could not remember the details. Reed said that she knew her sister was pregnant, and told cops that she was also pregnant. The report did not state if she was more than a month pregnant. The police report does not disclose why Reed sought the return of the Christmas present. Reed, pictured above, was charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman, a felony. Following her arrest, a cop noted, Reed became “very uncooperative” and “yelled at the top of her lungs, cursed me out, and accused me of being a racist.” Reed was released from custody Sunday after posting $35,000 bond. In 2009, Reed was arrested on a felony count for battering a pregnant woman. That charge was subsequently reduced to misdemeanor battery, for which Reed pleaded no contest. She was sentenced to probation and was ordered to perform 100 hours of community service and attend anger management classes. After subsequently violating her probation terms, Reed was sentenced to 20 days in the county jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Joyce Re: Recipe Site Dear Webby On reading the Tech Support and reading about Rons' query, I have a wonderful site that he might like to check out. It has 1,000's of recipes from all over the world, categorized into their countries. I find this site the most informative and it's free ! http://www.recipesource.com Joyce Dear Joyce That is indeed a very comprehensive site! I am sure a lot of readers will appreciate it. Thanks! Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Bonnie: Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges,but eventually you find a hairstyle you like.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ink Stain on Laundered Clothing You know, I used to use hairspray, but a couple of years ago it wasn't working, and I did some internet research. I found on the "Heloise" website (don't know if you're too young to remember Heloise) that rubbing alcohol works better on today's inks and fabrics. I have had good success with it. I put some on before washing, let it sit for a minute or so, then just throw it in with the other clothes. Check to see that the stain is entirely gone before putting in the dryer. Good luck. By cindywaggoner
the Flying Frenchies
____________________________________________________ A woman meant to call a music store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked. "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn. "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get." ___________________________________________________
This guy transforms old buildings into works of art. Amazing talent!
Thanks to Judy for this one: My niece has 4 kids and was breast feeding the baby when #3 child, Jack wanted to climb up into her lap. During the process he was using his elbows to push his way up and hit her other breast so she said 'watch the elbows Jack'. When Grandmother came over later, Jack climbed up into her lap, patted her rather ample bosom and said "I like your elbows, Grandma". Needless to say, they will always be elbows to us from now on and Jack can look forward to a lot of teasing about it in the future.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 27
1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators
began. They were executed on January 31. 

1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent
lamp. 

1900 In China, foreign diplomats in Peking, fearing a
revolt, demanded that the imperial government discipline
the Boxer rebels. 

1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a
pictorial transmission machine called television. 

1943 During World War II, the first all American air raid
against Germany took place when about 50 bombers attacked
Wilhlemshaven.

1944 The Soviet Union announced that the two year German
siege of Leningrad had come to an end. 

1945 Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps
Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland. 

1948 Wire Recording Corporation of America announced the
first magnetic tape recorder. The ‘Wireway’ machine with a
built-in oscillator sold for $149.50. 

1951 In the U.S., atomic testing in the Nevada desert
began as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on
Frenchman Flats. 

1967 At Cape Kennedy, FL, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus"
Grissom, Edward H. White and Roger B. Chaffee died in a
flash fire during a test aboard their Apollo I spacecraft.


1967 More than 60 nations signed the Outer Space Treaty
which banned the orbiting of nuclear weapons and placing
weapons on celestial bodies or space stations. 

1973 The Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris. 

1977 The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's
ban on female priests. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted the 52 former American
hostages released by Iran at the White House. 

1984 Wayne Gretzky set a National Hockey League (NHL)
record for consecutive game scoring. He ended the streak
at 51 games. 

1985 The Coca-Cola Company, of Atlanta, GA, announced a
plan to sell its soft drinks in the Soviet Union. 

1992 Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson went on trial
for allegedly raping an 18-year-old contestant in the 1991
Miss Black America Contest. 

1996 Mahamane Ousmane, the first democratically elected
president of Niger, was overthrown by a military coup.
Colonel Ibrahim Bare Mainassara declared himself head of
state. 

1997 It was revealed that French national museums were
holding nearly 2,000 works of art stolen from Jews by the
Nazis during World War II. 

1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on
NBC's "Today" show. She charged that the allegations
against her husband were the work of a "vast right-wing
conspiracy." 

1999 The U.S. Senate blocked dismissal of the impeachment
case against President Clinton and voted for new testimony
from Monica Lewinsky and two other witnesses. 

2002 A series of explosions occurred at a military dump in
Lagos, Nigeria. More than 1,000 people were killed in the
blast and in the attempt to escape. 

2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent
company of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris
International and Philip Morris Capital Corporation. 

2010 Steve Jobs unveiled the Apple iPad.

2017  smiled.


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Capable HTML mailer 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 26

Happy Australia Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Connecticut man charged with breaking into Pet Hospital
and leaving his wallet and keys and blood at the scene
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 26 in
1500 Vicente Yáñez Pinzón discovered Brazil. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. --- Phyllis Diller I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days, I lost two weeks. --- Joe E. Lewis Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. --- Benjamin Franklin Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light. --- C. V. R. Thompson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy I used to think I was just a regular person, but . . . I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic. I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel. I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a militant. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the lame stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right- wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant. Funny, it has all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking! I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly! Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I'm just not sure who I am anymore! As if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with. I'm now afraid to go into either restroom! In God We Trust. ------------ Wendy, there is a name for people like you and me, because we do something, that those name callers don`t do: We are The Tax Payers. Because of that, feel free to walk into any restroom and moon anybody you want. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men. Mary: TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions..like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Bruner 31, Stratford, Connecticut Connecticut man charged with breaking into Pet Hospital and leaving his wallet and keys and blood at the scene A Stratford man, traced by a blood trail, keys and a cell phone, has been charged with an October break-in at a veterinary hospital. Nicholas Bruner, 31, of Eureka Avenue, was arrested Saturday, Jan. 21, on the strength of a warrant charging him with third-degree burglary and second-degree criminal mischief. Stratford Police responded to a burglar alarm at the Pet Hospital of Stratford, 1185 Linden Ave., on Oct. 2, 2016. Officers found a broken window and blood on the windor frame, as well as a trail of blood on the floor, a set of keys and a cell phone. Police said the keys and phone were traced to Bruner. Bond was $10,000. Bruner is scheduled to appear in Bridgeport Superior Court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Kyle Re: Get a capable html e-mailer Dear Webby When I preview mail in MailWasher I have quite frequently seen the message: Get a capable html e-mailer in the top of a message. I use Legacy Eudora 6.5, and you simply can't get a more capable emailer than that. What is that all about? Thanks Kyle Dear Kyle Scammers frequently put that insto their scam to trick people into using an emailer, that will not protect them and cause problems for them, or simply an HTML based emailer, that will show their deceptive advertising pictures. Just make a filter to hide delete automatically if the body CONTAINS Get a capable html e-mailer and you will never see that garbage again. That`s all there is to it. I pity the few people, who don`t have MailWasher yet. Try the free version and see how easy it is! Have FUN! DearWebby
Two guys were discussing the prospects of "looming" retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do. The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, "Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year." The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, "I'm one of eighteen kids in my family." The first fellow's eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain. "You see, my mother was hard of hearing. My Mom and Dad would go to bed at night, and my Dad would ask, 'Do you want to go to sleep, or what?' and my Mom would say, "What?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cream Cheese Thumbprint Cookies By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] I had these at my friend Melanie's house, and they are definitely going to be one that we make every year! Yield: Approx. 32 cookies Source: All Recipes - Apricot Cream Cheese Thumbprints Ingredients: 1 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 1/2 cup sugar 1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened 2 eggs 1 large lemon (2 Tbsp. juice and 1 1/2 tsp. zest) 4 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1 cup fruit preserves (I used Smucker's Simply Fruit Apricot and Red Raspberry) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, soften cream cheese. Add sugar and softened butter. Mix thoroughly. Beat eggs, one at a time, into cream cheese mixture. Zest one large lemon. Add to cream cheese mixture. Squeeze 1/2 lemon for juice. Add 2 Tbsp. lemon juice and stir well. In a separate bowl, combine flour and baking powder. Add combined dry ingredients to cream cheese mixture in small amounts mixing well. Refrigerate for 1 hour, or until dough is firm. Scoop out 1 Tbsp. dough and roll into a ball in your hands. Continue until all the dough is shaped. Place the dough balls onto an ungreased cookie sheet, about 2 inches apart. Gently press your thumb into the center of each dough ball, leaving an indentation. Turn your thumb and press again for a more uniform cavity. Spoon 1/2 tsp. preserves into the center of each cookie. Place the cookie sheet into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Note: I prefer a softer cookie, so I do not bake them until the edges turn golden brown. Allow cookies to cool for a few minutes on the cookie sheet. Then place them on a wire rack to cool thoroughly. When packing them into a container, I recommend not stacking them directly on top of each other, as they will stick together.
24 1/2 mile jump
____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, it's nine dollars per seat." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ___________________________________________________
Wonder what it would do if music from Mannheim Steamroller & Trans-Siberian Orchestra was played.
A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing, "Yes he did," the boy replied, "dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 26
1500 Vicente Yáñez Pinzón discovered Brazil. 

1736 Stanislaus I formally abdicated as King of Poland. 

1784 In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin
expressed unhappiness over the eagle as the symbol of
America. He wanted the symbol to be the turkey. 

1788 The first European settlers in Australia, led by
Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as
Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight
days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day. 

1827 Peru seceded from Colombia in protest against Simón
Bolívar's alleged tyranny. 

1841 Britain formally occupied Hong Kong, which the
Chinese had ceded to the British. 

1875 George F. Green patented the electric dental drill
for sawing, filing, dressing and polishing teeth. 

1905 The Cullinan diamond, at 3,106.75 carats, was found
by Captain Wells at the Premier Mine, near Pretoria, South
Africa. 

1911 Inventor Glenn H. Curtiss flew the first successful
seaplane. 

1934 The Apollo Theatre opened in New York City. 

1939 In the Spanish Civil War, Franco's forces, with
Italian aid, took Barcelona. 

1942 The first American expeditionary force to go to
Europe during World War II went ashore in Northern
Ireland. 

1950 India officially proclaimed itself a republic as
Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president. 

1950 The American Associated Insurance Companies, of St.
Louis, MO, issued the first baby sitter’s insurance
policy. 

1961 U.S. President John F. Kennedy appointed Dr. Janet G.
Travell as the first woman to be the "personal physician
to the President". 

1962 The U.S. launched Ranger 3 to land scientific
instruments on the moon. The probe missed its target by
about 22,000 miles. 

1965 Hindi was made the official language of India. 

1969 California was declared a disaster area after two
days of flooding and mudslides. 

1972 In Hermsdorf, Czechoslovakia, a JAT Yugoslav Airlines
flight crashed after the detonation of a bomb in the
forward cargo hold killing 27 people. The bomb was
believed to have been placed on the plane by a Croatian
extremist group. Vesna Vulovic, a stewardess, survived
after falling 33,000 feet in the tail section. She broke
both legs and became paralyzed from the waist down. 

1979 The ‘Gizmo’ guitar synthesizer was first
demonstrated. 

1992 Russian president Boris Yeltsin announced that his
country would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear
weapons. 

1993 Former Czechoslovak President Vaclav Havel was
elected president of the new Czech Republic. 

1994 In Sydney, Australia, a young man lunged at and fired
two blank shots at Britain's Prince Charles. 

1996 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton testified
before a grand jury concerning the Whitewater probe. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton denied having an affair with a
former White House intern, saying "I did not have sexual
relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." 

1999 Saddam Hussein vowed revenge against the U.S. in
response to air-strikes that reportedly killed civilians.
The strikes were U.S. planes defending themselves against
anti-aircraft fire. 

2009 The Icelandic government and banking system
collapsed. Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned. 

2010 It was announced that James Cameron's movie "Avatar"
had become the highest-grossing film worldwide. 

2017  smiled.


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How reliable is PayPal? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida nom arrested for threatening day care worker 
with machete
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 25 in
1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against
retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. --- George F. Will (1941 - ) It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. --- Krishnamurti ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Today in 2005 Drunk Avalanche and Rescue Escape Man peed way out of avalanche A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it. Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains. He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out. But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through. He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported. He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there." Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours. ------------------- If he had followed the guidelines and stayed with his car, instead of staggering off into the landscape, he would have been rescued the same day. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Nancy got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got lost or stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashley Dailey, 25, Sunrise, Florida Florida nom arrested for threatening day care worker with machete A woman in Sunrise, Florida, is facing numerous charges after police said she attempted to kidnap her children from a day care center and threatened an employee with a machete. Police said Ashley Dailey, 25, showed up at Early Learning Preschool on Wednesday morning and attempted to remove her children from the center, local station WSVN TV reports. Dailey currently does not have custody of her two children and is under court order to stay away from the school, according to the Miami Herald. According to an arrest report obtained by the paper, Dailey’s mother currently has full custody of the kids because the suspects mental instability make her a danger to herself and her children. Police said Dailey tried to leave with her kids, but her mother, who was also at the preschool grabbed them away from her. When the preschool director told her to leave, Dailey allegedly smashed a computer monitor in anger before going to the parking lot. The director followed her to the car and threatened to call the police. That’s when Dailey allegedly grabbed a machete she had in her Toyota Camry and swung it around. Officers arrived on the scene as Dailey was driving away, according to WSVN. Police said she crashed into two cars before being stopped in the southbound lanes of Interstate 95. In order to take Dailey into custody, officers had to smash her car window. Dailey was booked on numerous charges including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, kidnapping, leaving the scene of a crash, and reckless driving, according to the Sun Sentinel. She remains at the Broward County Jail on $14,500 bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ulrike Re: How reliable is PayPal Dear Webby I read that it is the most convenient way to pay over the net, but how reliable and how safe is PayPal ? Thanks Ulrike Dear Ulrike PayPal is 100% reliable and safe. There are a few cautions to keep in mind though. Don't use PayPal for large payments at the last minute before going on vacation. Their autoresponders may decide to consider them suspicious, stop them and send emails to you to confirm them. If you are on a world cruise, or helping a relative or friend somewhere, or doing missionary or development work in a foreign country, you might come home to a disconnected phone, foreclosed mortgage, re-possessed car, and all kinds of problems, not the least of which is that you will be arguing with autoresponders at PayPal.. However, as long as you keep that in mind and make any large or important payments two weeks before you expect to be off the net for a while, everything is fine. They are just protecting you. The same goes if there is a dispute with a merchant. They will side with you, but will also listen to the merchant side. Naturally, you should read the small print when ordering stuff, especially free samples of supplements, that have in the small print that if you don`t want to automatically sign up for a lifetime of automatic charges, you have to return the free samples 10 days before you receive them. PayPal will still help you, but it won`t be as fast and easy as for example if you have a dispute with a reasonably legitimate vendor. I have dealt with PayPal since around 2000, and have never had a problem with them. Have FUN! DearWebby
A high school teacher arrived late for class to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of herself on the blackboard. Fuming, she asked the class, "Who is responsible for this atrocity?!" The class clown won tremendous prestige among his peers by answering, "I don't know for sure, but it's probably something hereditary."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Indoor Snowball Fight Kit By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] Supplies: Bernat baby blanket yarn (white) giant pom pom maker scissors Steps: Open one half of the pom pom maker and begin wrapping yarn around it, working your way from one end to the other. Continue wrapping until it is almost full and there is only a slight arched space in the middle. Then clip that half closed and repeat on the other half. Use scissors to cut through the center of the wrapped yarn, along the groove. Repeat on the other side. Cut a length of yarn and pull it firmly into the groove, bringing the ends together. Tie a tight knot. I like to wrap the yarn around a second time and tie another knot. Cut off the excess yarn. Unclip the two sides, then separate the pom pom maker to release the pom pom. Trim any long pieces of yarn, if necessary. Make as many snowballs as you like.
Evan at school
____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Darla for this one: OPPORTUNITY ! Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! TRY it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1. Open a new text or word document 2. Hold down the shift key. 3. Hit the 4 key four times really fast. ___________________________________________________
Wonder what it would do if music from Mannheim Steamroller & Trans-Siberian Orchestra was played.
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put her outside!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 25
1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against
retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. 

1533 England's King Henry VIII secretly married his second
wife Anne Boleyn. Boleyn later gave birth to Elizabeth I.


1579 The Treaty of Utrecht was signed marking the
beginning of the Dutch Republic. 

1799 Eliakim Spooner patented the seeding machine. 

1858 Mendelssohn’s "Wedding March" was presented for the
first time at the wedding of the daughter of Queen
Victoria and the Crown Prince of Prussia. 

1870 G.D. Dows patented the ornamental soda fountain. 

1881 Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell and others
signed an agreement to organize the Oriental Telephone
Company. 

1890 The United Mine Workers of America was founded. 

1915 In New York, Alexander Graham Bell spoke to his
assistant in San Francisco, inaugurating the first
transcontinental telephone service. 

1924 The 1st Winter Olympic Games were inaugurated in
Chamonix in the French Alps. 

1946 The United Mine Workers rejoined the American
Federation of Labor. 

1959 In the U.S., American Airlines had the first
scheduled transcontinental flight of a Boeing 707.

1971 Maj. Gen. Idi Amin led a coup that deposed Milton
Obote and became president of Uganda. 

1981 The 52 Americans held hostage by Iran for 444 days
arrived in the United States and were reunited with their
families. 

1999 In Louisville, KY, man received the first hand
transplant in the United States. 

2011 A revolution began in Egypt with the demonstrations
that demanded the end of President Hosni Mubarak's rule. 

2017  smiled.


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Where is Spybot? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Colorado man made sexual advances 
to female officer while he was naked
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, January 24 in
1848 James W. Marshall discovered a gold nugget at
Sutter's Mill in northern California. The discovery led to
the gold rush of '49. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I don't understand how anybody can call themselves intelligent and not believe in evolution. Just look at statues of people from ancient Greece and Rome, in ancient times most people had no noses or arms. Today almost everybody has them. --- Timmy King The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A small boy walked into a police station one day and said, 'I've got three big brothers and we all live in the same room. My eldest brother has seven cats. Another one has three dogs and the third has a goat. I want you to do something about the smell.' 'Are the any windows in your room?' asked the officer. 'Yes, of course there are!' said the boy. 'Have you tried opening them?' 'What and lose all my pigeons....?' ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you?" Ed asked. "Not too good," Ted replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dock into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust." "That sounds terrible", Ed said. "What business were you in?" Ted replied, "I sold good luck charms." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Olson, 24, Aspen, Colorado Colorado man made sexual advances to female officer while he was naked Olson is accused of making "verbal sexual advances" to a female police officer — actions that definitely stood out, as it were, since at the time, the only thing he wore was a pair of ipod headphones. The story comes to us from the aspen times, which has been tracking olson's shenanigans for quite some time. In may 2015, the paper notes, he became acquainted with members of the aspen police department after being found sleeping in the stairwell of a tony restaurant, casa tua. Then, last july, cops found him dancing in the middle of castle creek road, allegedly under the influence of meth — a substance he was arrested for possessing the following month. But on sunday, september 11, police say he took things to the next level. At 6:15 p.M. That evening, officers were called to the spectacular limelight hotel on a report that olson was passed out on the establishment's front lawn. He was gone by the time they arrived. However, they managed to track him down a couple of blocks away, at which point he asked a sergeant on the scene for some meth. That was pretty standard behavior for olson, so the cops sent him on his way. But they had to take action just under two hours later, when they spotted him near the intersection of south monarch street and hopkins avenue. The reason was as plain as the penis on olson's body, which was in view because he'd ditched his clothes, reportedly in order to "feel free" as he listened to his ipod. At that point, a female officer told olson to get dressed — an order to which he allegedly responded by making what the times refers to as "verbal sexual advances toward the officer." In response, olson was given something to wear: a set of handcuffs. This choice of attire doesn't appear to have thrilled him much. He's accused of being uncooperative when the cops tried to put him into their patrol car, then refusing to leave it once they got to jail, where he was booked on suspicion of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Westchester Animal Clinic Re: When I go to the Spybot site, there are a whole bunch of options. Which one is Spybot? I do not want to download ten things I do not need. Dear Westchester Animal If you go to the Spybot site via the link in the side menu of the Humor Letter, you get to a href=<"https://www.safer-networking.org/dl"> https://www.safer-networking.org/dl/ There, under Home Users you see Spybot Free Edition That gets you to https://www.safer-networking.org/mirrors24/ On that site, click on any of the mirrors and select Download Spybot Search and Destroy Windows Installer Or click on it here. Download Spybot Search and Destroy Windows Installer Have FUN! DearWebby
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their daughter in a cap and gown, posed with her father. "I want a good picture, so try to make this look natural," she said."Susan, put your arm around your dad's shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have her put her hand in my pocket and on my wallet ?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Muffin Tin Spinach Frittatas By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] Steps: Preheated oven to 375 degree F. Tear baby spinach into small pieces. Place in a large bowl. Add ricotta, sour cream, and cheddar and Parmesan cheeses. Stir to combine well. In a small bowl, beat together eggs, milk, Tabasco, cumin, salt, and pepper. Add the egg mixture to the spinach mixture. Stir well. Spray a muffin tin liberally with cooking spray. Spoon the mixture equally into the muffin tins. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes, then remove from muffin tins.
The Streaker
____________________________________________________ A career military man, who had retired as a corporal, was telling the younger men how he handled officers during his years of service. "It didn't matter a hoot if he was a Major General, an Admiral, or the Commander-in- Chief. I always told those guys exactly where to get off. "Wow, you must have been something," the admiring young soldiers remarked. "What was your job in the service?" "Elevator operator in the Pentagon." ___________________________________________________
Art out of silverware.
What's the difference between education and experience? If you read the instructions, you have education. If you don't read the instructions, you WILL get experience.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on January 24
1848 James W. Marshall discovered a gold nugget at
Sutter's Mill in northern California. The discovery led to
the gold rush of '49. 

1899 Humphrey O’Sullivan patented the rubber heel. 

1908 In England, the first Boy Scout troop was organized
by Robert Baden-Powell. 

1916 Conscription was introduced in Britain. 

1922 Christian K. Nelson patented the Eskimo Pie. 

1924 The Russian city of St. Petersburg was renamed
Leningrad. The name has since been changed back to St.
Petersburg. 

1930 Primo Carnera made his American boxing debut by
knocking out Big Boy Patterson in one minute, ten seconds
of the opening round. 

1935 Krueger Brewing Company placed the first canned beer
on sale in Richmond, VA. 

1952 Vincent Massey was the first Canadian to be appointed
governor-general of Canada. 

1964 CBS-TV acquired the rights to televise the National
Football League’s 1964-1965 regular season. The move cost
CBS $14.1 million a year. The NFL stayed on CBS for 30
years. 

1965 Winston Churchill died at the age of 90. 

1972 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws that denied
welfare benefits to people who had resided in a state for
less than a year. 

1978 A nuclear-powered Soviet satellite plunged through
Earth's atmosphere and disintegrated. The radioactive
debris was scattered over parts of Canada's Northwest
Territory. 

1980 The United States announced intentions to sell arms
to China. 

1985 Penny Harrington became the first woman police chief
of a major city. She assumed the duties as head of the
Portland, Oregon, force of 940 officers and staff. 

1986 The Voyager 2 space probe flew past Uranus. The probe
came within 50,679 miles of the seventh planet of the
solar system. 

1987 In Lebanon, gunmen kidnapped educators Alann Steen,
Jesse Turner, Robert Polhill and Mitheleshwar Singh. They
were all later released. 

1989 Ted Bundy, the confessed serial killer, was put to
death in Floridas electric chair for the 1978 kidnap-
murder of 12-year-old Kimberly Leach. 

1990 Japan launched the first probe to be sent to the Moon
since 1976. A satellite was placed in lunar orbit. 

1996 Polish Premier Jozef Oleksy resigned due to
allegations that he had spied for Moscow. 

2001 In Colorado Springs, CO, Patrick Murphy Jr. and
Donald Newbury were taken into custody after a 5-minute
phone interview was granted with a TV station. They were
the remaining fugitives of the Texas 7.

2002 John Walker Lindh appeared in court for the first
time concerning the charges that he conspired to kill
Americans abroad and aided terrorist groups. Lindh had
been taken into custody by U.S. Marines in Afghanistan. 

2003 The U.S. Department of Homeland Security began
operations under Tom Ridge.

2017  smiled.


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