McAfee versus Kasperski 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, April 20

Happy Easter!
many years ago I put together this page:
What Easter is all about

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Man Punched Jogger And Ran Down 2 Women On Drive To School Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1962 The New Orleans Citizens' Council offered a free one-way ride for blacks to move to northern states. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. --- Marie Curie (1867 - 1934)
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A man started to snore in his seat at the church. "Please stop your snoring," the usher pleaded. "You are disturbing the others..." "Look, buddy," the man said angrily, "This is my seat and I'll do whatever I want!" "Yes, sir," replied the usher. "But please be considerate... you are keeping everybody else awake!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.
Thanks to Lillemor for today's picture: Click on the picture for the large version Flower On Easter Cactus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Eric Noel Montez, 28, Naples, Floriduh Man Punched Jogger And Ran Down 2 Women On Drive To School A Florida man is facing attempted murder charges for allegedly running hitting two women with his car and punching a jogger while driving his 7-year-old daughter to school. A jogger tapped the car of Eric Noel Montez, 28, for driving dangerously close to him on Thursday morning, police say. Montez allegedly stopped his vehicle and ran after the jogger. He allegedly punched the man numerous times in the face, according to NBC-2.com. The suspect was pummeling the victim when Lorraine McDaniel, 52, and Kristee Barres, 33, told him to stop and that they were calling police. There was a verbal exchange before Montez got back into his car and pulled forward, allegedly hitting Barres and vaulting her over the hood. As he drove away, McDaniel ran screaming after him. He allegedly stopped the car and drover over her in reverse, the Naples News reports. Montez dropped off his daughter at home before returning to the scene of the crime, RawStory.com reports. He has been charged with two counts of attempted second degree murder and one count of battery. More charges may be added later. Barres remains hospitalized in stable condition while McDaniel is listed in critical condition. Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: McAfee versus Kasperski Dear Webby Hi - I have been buying McAfee (your site) for several years and noticed that you now have another one advertised. I have not had any problems with McAfee except I cannot tell when a scan is running - my computer just slows down. I do not have any scans scheduled so I can only assume McAfee runs a scan for downloads etc. as I get a notice after the scan is finished. I do not like this but I do want to be protected. I was not too happy with the comments McAfee himself made about the "new" management problems and no one fixing them. He said he was glad they had removed his name as he did not wish to be associated with it any more. I knew he sold the company several years ago but I thought he was still associated with the company. I did not hear but info was relayed by a friend so not real sure about all that was said. I have several computers so I need protection for all of them and Kasperski's only has for 3 (and I need for 5) so not sure about what to do right now. My McAfee runs out on 4/25 so I have to make a decision soon. Do you think McAfee is still the best? Sorry to hear about your health problems - hope you have found some true relief from the pain. Thanks for all your time with all the info in your daily newsletter. Jokes are always a treat... Betty Dear Betty I agree, McAfee has gotten too big and too snooty. But so did Kasperski. Personally, I don't find a significant advantage of one over the other. I offer links to both because it has become a religious issue. Some people are fanatics for one, some for the other. Talk to them and find out who offers the better deal for 5 machines. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Window Panes as Frames I have been using old window panes to put photos in. I'm attaching some for the bathroom and general grandkid pics. Everyone loves them and they were so easy :-) By Pattie [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Now then," said the warden addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot. "I would like to know two things. First: Why did you revolt? Second: How did you get out of your cell?" One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful." "I see. And the cell? What did you use to break the bars?" Replied the spokesman, "Toast...."
Mrs. Goldman, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-third is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, one eighth to his secretary; and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Morris answered, "A good lawyer...!"

» All Hail

Today in 
1534 Jacques Cartier, a French explorer, set sail from 
 St. Malo to explore the North American coastline.
1653 In England, Oliver Cromwell expelled the Long Parliament 
 for trying to pass the Perpetuation Bill that would have 
 kept Parliament in the hands of only a few members.
1689 The siege of Londonderry began. Supporters of James II 
 attacked the city.
1775 American troops began the siege of British-held Boston.
1792 France declared war on Austria, Prussia, and Sardinia. 
 It was the start of the French Revolutionary wars.
1809 Napoleon defeated Austria at Battle of Abensberg, Bavaria.
1832 Hot Springs National Park was established by an act of 
 the U.S. Congress. It was the first national park in the U.S.
1865 Safety matches were first advertised.
1879 First mobile home (horse drawn) was used in a journey 
 from London to Cyprus.
1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the 
 radioactive element radium.
1916 Sir Roger Casement landed in Ireland to incite rebellion 
 against the British. Casement, a British diplomat, was 
 captured within hours and was hanged for high treason 
 on August 3.
1919 The Polish Army captured Vilno, Lithuania from the 
 Soviets.
1940 The First electron microscope was demonstrated by RCA.
1945 Soviet troops began their attack on Berlin.
1945 During World War II, Allied forces took control of 
 the German cities of Nuremberg and Stuttgart.
1953 Operation Little Switch began in Korea. It was the 
 exchange of sick and wounded prisoners of war. Thirty 
 Americans were freed.
1962 The New Orleans Citizens' Council offered a free 
 one-way ride for blacks to move to northern states.
1967 U.S. planes bombed Haiphong for first time during the 
 Vietnam War.
1971 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the use of busing to 
 achieve racial desegregation in schools.
1972 The manned lunar module from Apollo 16 landed on the moon.
1977 Woody Allen's film "Annie Hall" premiered.
1981 A spokesman for the U.S. Navy announced that the U.S. 
 was accepting full responsibility for the sinking of the 
 Nissho Maru on April 9.
1988 The U.S. Air Forces' Stealth (B-2 bomber) was 
 officially unveiled.
1989 Scientist announced the successful testing of 
 high-definition TV.
1992 The worlds largest fair, Expo '92, opened in 
 Seville, Spain.
1998 Kenyan runner Moses Tanui, 32, won the Boston 
 Marathon for the second time. He also registered the 
 third fastest time with 2 hours 7 minutes and 34 seconds. 
2014  smiled.


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Breast Cancer Site 




Good Morning,  !

Thhank you, Fred!

Today is Saturday, April 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Accused Killer, who texted victim's father: 'she's dead. I have the last laugh' Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1993 The Branch-Davidian’s compound in Waco, TX, burned to the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between the cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped the fire. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --- H. L. Mencken
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Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents. "Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added.... "And, Kathryn?" "Yes, mom?" "Call them first and let them know you're coming."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!"
Thanks to my Lillemor for today's picture: Click on the picture for the large version Flower Buds On Easter Cactus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gabriel Galan Navarro, 20, Renton, WA Accused Killer, who texted victim's father: 'she's dead. I have the last laugh' Prosecutors say a Washington state man, accused of killing his girlfriend, sent text messages to her family members after allegedly strangling her. Gabriel Galan Navarro, 20, faces first-degree murder charges in the death of Allison Leedy, also 20. On April 12, Navarro allegedly strangled Leedy in the Renton apartment where they lived, then texted her family. "If you are getting this you are responsible for Allison's death. You turned her against me," Navarro wrote, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Navarro also texted the woman's father, writing: "She's dead. I have the last laugh." Prosecutors said Navarro had been aware of and angered by the young woman's plans to end their relationship and attend college in California, and was "determined to prevent Allison and her family from realizing her dreams.” Prosecutor Adrienne McCoy described the couple's three-year relationship as one characterized by "manipulation, isolation and psychological destruction," according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Police said that Navarro also called 911 and lied to a dispatcher, saying that he had flooded his apartment with propane gas and rigged it to explode if anyone entered. He also allegedly said that he was armed with a hand gun. Renton police responded to the apartment complex and shot a window out with bean bags in an attempt to clear the residence of any gas. Navarro surrendered a short time later. Police told KCPQ that they believe Navarro's actions were an attempt to get officers to shoot him. After he was arrested, Navarro told police that his alternate personality, "Frost," had killed Leedy. Tech Support Pits From: Connie R Re: Mammogram Site Dear Webby is it possible to add this web site address to your humor newsletter. I feed the dogs each day, and I think being able to click onto this web url to give a free mammogram to an underpriviledged woman would be another good thing to do. Connie R The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.... Dear Connie Look in the side menu. I have had a link to the Breastcancersite for about 15 years. Thanks to the efforts of a few dedicated people like me, the Breast Cancer site is nowhere near worrying about ONE mammogram per day. Just click on the two cheerful ladies and also tell your friends to do the same. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dryer Sheets for Insect Repellent Bounce dryer sheets are great to use as a mosquito repellent. Just rub it on all exposed areas then tie it to a belt loop. I use them while mowing the lawn. By Vi from Mobridge, SD Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. He was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: "Is this pig?" Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: "Which end of the fork are you referring to?"
Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you thank her for two pies?"

» Unusual Equine Colors

Today in 
1539 Emperor Charles V reached a truce with German 
 Protestants at Frankfurt, Germany.
1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor 
 and sank the Spanish fleet.
1689 Residents of Boston ousted their governor, Edmond Andros.
1713 Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic 
 Sanction, which gave women the rights of succession to 
 Hapsburg possessions.
1764 The English Parliament banned the American colonies 
 from printing paper money.
1770 Captain James Cook discovered New South Wales, Australia. 
 Cook originally named the land Point Hicks.
1775 The American Revolution began as fighting broke out 
 at Lexington, MA.
1782 The Netherlands recognized the new United States.
1794 Tadeusz Kosciuszko forced the Russians out of Warsaw.
1802 The Spanish reopened the New Orleans port to American 
 merchants.
1861 Thaddeus S. C. Lowe sailed 900 miles in nine hours 
 in a hot air balloon from Cincinnati, OH, to Unionville, SC.
1861 The Baltimore riots resulted in four Union soldiers 
 and nine civilians killed.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln ordered a blockade of 
 Confederate ports.
1892 The Duryea gasoline buggy was introduced in the 
 U.S. by Charles and Frank Duryea.
1897 The first annual Boston Marathon was held. It 
 was the first of its type in the U.S.
1927 In China, Hankow communists declared war on 
 Chaing Kai-shek.
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a 
 proclamation that removed the U.S. from the gold standard.
1938 General Francisco Franco declared victory in the 
 Spanish Civil War.
1943 The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. 
 The Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days.
1951 Shigeki Tanaka won the Boston Marathon. Tanaka had 
 survived the atomic blast at Hiroshima, Japan during 
 World War II.
1956 Actress Grace Kelly became Princess Grace of Monaco 
 when she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco.
1967 Surveyor 3 landed on the moon and began sending photos 
 back to the U.S.
1971 Russia launched the Salyut into orbit around Earth. It 
 was the first space station.
1982 The U.S. announced a ban on U.S. tourist and business 
 traval to Cuba. The U.S. charged the Cuban government with 
 subversion in Central America.
1987 In Phoenix, AZ, skydiver Gregory Robertson went into a 
 200-mph free-fall to save an unconscious colleague 3,500 
 feet from the ground.
1987 The last California condor known to be in the wild 
 was captured and placed in a breeding program at the San 
 Diego Wild Animal Park.
1989 A gun turret exploded aboard the USS Iowa. 47 sailors 
 were killed.
1989 A giant asteroid passed within 500,000 miles of Earth.
1993 The Branch-Davidian’s compound in Waco, TX, burned to 
 the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between the 
 cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed 
 including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped 
 the fire.
1994 A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King 
 for violation of his civil rights.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, 
 OK, was destroyed by a bomb. It was the worst bombing on 
 U.S. territory. 168 people were killed including 19 children, 
 and 500 were injured. Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of 
 the bombing on June 2, 1997.
1998 Wang Dan, a leader of 1989 Tienanmen Square 
 pro democracy protests, was freed by the Chinese government.
2002 The USS Cole was relaunched. In Yemen, 17 sailors were 
 killed when the ship was attacked by terrorists on 
 October 12, 2000. The attack was blamed on Osama bin Laden's 
 al-Qaida network. 
2014  smiled.


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improve Poor laptop sound 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 4.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh Gramma jailed for child neglect Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. --- Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)
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The owner of a manufacturing firm decided to make a surprise tour of the factory. Walking through the warehouse he noticed a young man lazily leaning against a packing crate. The factory owner angrily said, "Just how much are you being paid?" The young man replied, "Two hundred dollars a week." The owner pulled out his wallet, peeled off ten $20 bills and shouted at the young man: "Here is a week's pay--now get out and don't come back!" Without a word, the young man stuffed the money into his pocket and left. The warehouse manager, standing nearby, stared in amazement. "Tell me," the boss asked him, "How long has that guy worked for us?" "He doesn't work here," replied the warehouse manager, "He was just the Pizza guy waiting for George to find two more dollars for his lunch order."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
Thanks to my Dianne for today's picture: Click on the picture for the large version Maldives
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Crystal Hernandez, 34, Broward County, Floriduh 5 Kids Left Alone in Filthy House While Grandma Gambles at Casino Some things change when you become a mom, and the ability to come and go as you please when you have little kids is one of them. Children are not pets ... you can't just leave them alone while you gallivant off to the slots. This should be common sense, but apparently not for Crystal Hernandez, the 34-year-old Florida grandmother who left her four kids and one grandchild at home so she could go to the casino. She was arrested at her home on Tuesday after neighbors called the cops when the five kiddos were wandering around outside asking people for food. They ranged in age from 2 to 12. No word on where the mother (or father?) of the grandchild was, or if Hernandez has custody. She doesn't have custody of any of them anymore, and it isn't just because she left them home alone to go gambling. Apparently the environment of the house was toxic and unlivable. We are talking pee and poop awful here. In a report, Broward Sheriff's Deputy Matthew McGee noted that the overwhelming smell of urine and feces in the house was "almost unbearable to stand." According to McGee, there was also "feces on the kitchen counter, along with feces on the floor," and "dirty clothes were thrown around the residence, along with old food." The one place there wasn't any food was in the cupboards, and there was only "minimal" food in the fridge. All five children were removed by the authorities, and Hernandez is being held on $5,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Better sound for laptop Dear Webby How can I increase the sound quality for my laptop? I got some fairly expensive aftermarket speakers for it, but the sound is still quite trashy compared to my home stereo. Help! Karen Dear Karen Those "fairly expensive aftermarket speakers" are not worth the shipping cost. As you noticed. Get a stereo cable, exactly like the one leading from the computer to the first of those squeakers, and connect that to the AUX-IN on your home stereo, or any old boom box. Switch the stereo or boom box to AUX, and you have sound the way it was meant to be. As a free bonus you have the headphone jack on the stereo for plugging in the earphone half of a communication head set. The pink microphone plug still goes to the pink computer microphone jack. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Stains out of a Ceramic Teapot Use White King bleach diluted with water or table or cooking salt. I find that salt definitely works. By jessie.ofarrell1 [4] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The Priest had just finished hearing the man's confession and was considering the man's penitence. "Are you sure you're going to try to set aside all sin?" "Yes Father, I certainly am going to try." replied the man. "I here-by resolve to double my efforts." "And you're going to attend Mass regularly my son?" the Priest went on. "Yes Father, I realize I have strayed." said the man. "I shall both worship and confess every week." "And how about your debts and those you have cheated?" inquired the Priest. "Now just a minute Father." said the man. "Now you're talking business and not religion."
At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches. I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several cartons of aspirin. As the woman behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, she laughed and exclaimed, "Must be one heck of a kid!"

» Pencil Maker

Today in 
1521 Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V 
 in the Diet of Worms and refused to retract his views 
 that led to his excommunication.
1676 Sudbury, Massachusetts, was attacked by Indians.
1775 American revolutionaries Paul Revere, William Dawes 
 and Samuel Prescott rode though the towns of 
 Massachusetts giving the warning that "the Regulars 
 are coming out." Later, the phrase "the British are 
 coming" was attributed to Revere.
1791 National Guardsmen prevented Louis XVI and his 
 family from leaving Paris.
1818 A regiment of Indians and blacks were defeated 
 at the Battle of Suwann, in Florida, ending the first 
 Seminole War.
1846 The telegraph ticker was patented by R.E. House
1847 U.S. troops defeated almost 17,000 Mexican soldiers 
 commanded by Santa Anna at Cerro Gordo. (Mexican-American War)
1853 The first train in Asia began running from Bombay to Tanna.
1861 Colonel Robert E. Lee turned down an offer to command 
 the Union armies during the U.S. Civil War.
1877 Charles Cros wrote a paper that described the process 
 of recording and reproducing sound. In France, Cros is 
 regarded as the inventor of the phonograph. In the U.S., 
 Thomas Edison gets the credit.
1895 New York State passed an act that established 
 free public baths.
1906 San Francisco, CA, was hit with an earthquake. The original
 death toll was cited at about 700. Later information 
 indicated that the death toll may have been 3 to 4 times the 
 original estimate.
1910 Walter R. Brookins made the first airplane flight at 
 night.
1934 The first Laundromat opened in Fort Worth, TX.
1937 Leon Trotsky called for the overthrow of Soviet 
 leader Josef Stalin.
1942 James H. Doolittle and his squadron, from the USS Hornet, 
 raided Tokyo and other Japanese cities.
1943 Traveling in a bomber, Japanese Admiral Isoroku 
 Yamamoto, was shot down by American P-38 fighters.
1946 The League of Nations was dissolved.
1949 The Republic of Ireland was established.
1950 The first transatlantic jet passenger trip was completed.
1954 Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser seized power in Egypt.
1955 Albert Einstein died.
1978 The U.S. Senate approved the transfer of the 
 Panama Canal to Panama on December 31, 1999.
1980 Rhodesia became in independent nation of Zimbabwe.
1983 The U.S. Embassy in Beirut was blown up by a suicide 
 car-bomber. 63 people were killed including 17 Americans.
1985 Ted Turner filed for a hostile takeover of CBS.
1989 Thousands of Chinese students demanding democracy 
 tried to storm Communist Party headquarters in Beijing.
1999 Wayne Gretzky (New York Rangers) played his final game 
 in the NHL. He retired as the NHL's all-time leading 
 scorer and holder of 61 individual records.
2014  smiled.


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Outlook Limit 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, April 16.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an NC man, who shot up strip club after getting kicked out Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace. --- John Mason Brown (1900 - 1969) "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." --- Robert Heinlein
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A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Thanks to Tim for this story: When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors. As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect. Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer." As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney. "Only to mow my lawn."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version 13 year old girl in Kazakhstan
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mario Chavez, 33, Gaston, NC NC man, who shot up strip club after getting kicked out A man accused of trying to feel up a strip club dancer got touchy when he was kicked out of the North Carolina nudie bar. After being forced to leave the Leather & Lace Strip Club for trying to reach inside a dancer's underwear, Mario Chavez, 33 allegedly fired 13 shots into the strip joint on Thursday. “He told the bouncer that he’d done apologized to me and the bouncer told him that I’d done gave him a warning and he was going to have to leave,” the dancer, who wished to remain anonymous, said according to RawStory.com. Chavez allegedly went to his truck, grabbed a .40-caliber Beretta handgun and fired it into the club. When that gun jammed, Chavez allegedly went back to the truck and grabbed a 9 mm Taurus handgun. Investigators said he then fired seven more shots at the building and two more shots as he drove away, the Gaston Gazette reports. The gunfire sent the 18 people inside the club into a panic. One of the bullets flew over two pool tables and in a sofa, MyFox8.com reported. No one was injured. Chavez was arrested a short time later and charged with 18 counts of counts of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill, shooting into an occupied building and one count of sexual battery. The suspect is currently in the Gaston County Jail on $1 million bond. Tech Support Pits From: Renee Re: Outlook Limit Dear Webby I read that Outlook suicides and loses all the mail if you have too much mail in it. Is that true, and if so, what are the limits? Thanks Renee Dear Renee Yes, unfortunately that is true. The limits are not hard and not predictable. Usually it is fairly save to keep a year's worth of mail in it, as long as the IN, OUT and other most used mailboxes are kept small and tidy. Some people have been able to keep it going for two-three years, but sooner or later the inevitable crash happened. If you need to keep mail for over a year for business purposes, then I would recommend Eudora or Thunderbird. With those you can easily split off months or years or clients and store them on a CD, and return them if and when needed. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Lotion to Protect Sore Nose As you have sinuses, your nose eventually gets raw from all that blowing. But today I have a cure! :O All you do is apply baby lotion or any other kind and smear it on a thin layer over the rawness. (NO BATH AND BODY WORKS, I learned the hard way) If you have a bad case of it, you will need some Blistex or chapstick! I hope that helped. By Skylar McMinn [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Jim As a department head stationed on a Navy vessel, I was con- cerned about one of my senior enlisted men. He was a superb technician, but he had a problem taking orders. One day I took him aside and suggested he try something that had worked for me. "Whenever an officer gives you a directive that you think is stupid," I told him, "just say, 'Yes, sir.' But in your mind, think, 'You're a f****n idiot!' Will this work for you?" He smiled at me and replied, "Yes, sir!"
Two men working in a facory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said one. "How are you going to do that?" "Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied. "I'm a lightbulb." "I think you need some time off," the foreman said said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him. "Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted. "I can't work in the dark," he said.

» Stylish Duct Tape

Today in 
0069 Otho committed suicide after being defeated by 
 Vitellius' troops at Bedriacum.
1065 The Norman Robert Guiscard took Bari. Five centuries 
 of Byzantine rule in southern Italy ended.
1705 Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton.
1746 The Duke of Cumberland defeated Bonnie Prince Charlie 
 (and his Jacobites) at the battle of Culloden.
1818 The U.S. Senate ratified Rush-Bagot amendment to form 
 an unarmed U.S.-Canada border.
1854 San Salvador was destroyed by an earthquake.
1905 Andrew Carnegie donated $10,000,000 of personal money 
 to set up the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement 
 of Teaching.
1912 Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly across 
 the English Channel.
1917 Vladimir Ilyich Lenin returned to Russia to start 
 Bolshevik Revolution after years of exile.
1922 Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, to set 
 a women's record.
1942 The Island of Malta was awarded the George Cross in 
 recognition for heroism under constant German air attack.
1943 In Basel, Switzerland, chemist Albert Hoffman 
 accidently discovered the the hallucinogenic effects of 
 LSD-25 while working on the medicinal value of 
 lysergic acid.
1944 The destroyer USS Laffey survived immense damage from 
 attacks by 22 Japanese aircraft off Okinawa.
1947 The Zoomar lens, invented by Dr. Frank Back, was 
 demonstrated in New York City. It was the first lens 
 to exhibit zooming effects.
1947 In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying 
 ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The 
 explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people.
1951 75 people were killed when the British submarine Affray 
 sank in the English Channel.
1968 The Pentagon announced that troops would begin coming 
 home from Vietnam. The Vietnam war became a defeat from home.
1972 Apollo 16 blasted off on a voyage to the moon. It was 
 the fifth manned moon landing.
1975 The Khmer Rouge Rebels won control of Cambodia after 
 five years of civil war. They renamed the country Kampuchea 
 and began a reign of terror.
1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution 
 in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain.
1983 China shelled the Vietnam border in retaliation for raids.
1983 Brazil detained four Libyan planes en route to Nicaragua 
 after finding weapons, explosives and ammunition on planes.
1987 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) sternly 
 warned U.S. radio stations to watch the use of indecent 
 language on the airwaves.
1987 The U.S. Patent Office began allowing the patenting of 
 new animals created by genetic engineering.
1992 The House ethics committee listed 303 current and former 
 lawmakers who had overdrawn their House bank accounts.
1995 The European Union and Canada agreed to protect 
 threatened fish stocks in the north Atlantic.
1996 An Italian court found former Prime Minister Bettino 
 Craxi guilty on charges of corruption. He was sentenced to 
 eight years and three months in prison.
1999 Wayne Gretzky announced his retirement from the 
 National Hockey League (NHL).
2002 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned major parts of a 1996 
 child pornography law based on rights to free speech.
2007 In Blacksburg, VA, a student killed 33 people at Virginia 
 Tech before killing himself. 
2014  smiled.


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Weird Windows desktop 




Good Morning,  !
Thank you, Nancy!

Today is Monday, April 14.

The back pain shifted tithe right side.
Getting upright is a bit easier now. Acid reflux, that had
been broght on by Naproxen kept getting worse, even though 
I stopped it after one day on Thursday. Now it added 
stomach cramps. A cup of hot water with a Tablespoon of 
Baking Soda tasted obnoxious, but stopped the cramps and
the acid reflux. An apple probably helped too. 

What a mess! I am about as far from the Mr.Indestructible,
that I was, as I can go.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Alabama Teacher - Charged With Having Sexual Contact With Three Middle School Students Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1988 In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. --- Nanarina
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When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" he asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," the doctor said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
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A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kristina McMillan Kelly, 41, Mobile, Alabama. Alabama Teacher - Charged With Having Sexual Contact With Three Middle School Students Kristina McMillan Kelly, a 41-year-old substitute teacher at Denton Middle School, was jailed Friday after she allegedly had sexual contact with three students. According to police, an investigation was launched after Kelly propositioned a 15-year-old student for sex, and the student reported it to school administrators. During a subsequent investigation, Kelly reportedly admitted to having sex with two other students, ages 15 and 14. Investigators say the alleged sexual abuse began in January and took place at her home. Police do not believe sexual contact with any of the students took place on school grounds. She was booked into jail and charged with two counts of second-degree rape, two counts of second-degree sodomy, one count of sexual abuse and three counts of a school employee having sexual contact with a student under the age of 19. She was released Saturday after posting bail. Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: Weird Windows desktop Webby, Sorry to hear of your back troubles. My problem this morning is I did a Microsoft update on my laptop which i do monthly when asked and have never had a problem with it in the past. Well this time when the update was done my whole look of my desktop and my task bar is different, it looks like the first edition of windows or something, the task bar is white,where before it was black and new looking. the colors around the windows are nothing like they were either. I have tried to go into the personalization setting to see if i could change them back and didn't find any settings that i could use....can you help? Hope your back settles down for you. Any assistance with my problem would be appreciated. Randall Check if it accidentally went into High Contrast mode. Also reboot and make sure you are not in Safe Mode. Please let me know if that helped. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Feed Corn for Keeping Cool You know, if your feet hurt, everything hurts. Well, if your feet are cool, everything else is a lot cooler too. I keep a large shoe-box-sized plastic container in the freezer filled with feed corn. It's actually wide enough for both of my bare feet to fit side-by-side. On hot days, or if my feet hurt, I pull it out, stick my feet into plastic bags, then dig my toes deep into the feed corn! The plastic bags prevent the corn from smelling like feet after a while, besides keeping corn dust off my feet. And if they have some plastic bags for their own feet, I'm fine with sharing the joy with my friends! By Ruth C. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Mary was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts!! S uch pests. They give me no rest and I'm half way to the funny farm." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Mary bought a playpen A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that pen with my laptop, a coffee and a chocolate bar, and the kids don't bother me for hours!"
The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down. "I'll have your job for this!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Sir, you wouldn't want my job," replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation. "The hours are long, the pay is low, and you got to put up with some of the weirdest idiots you can imagine!"

» Pan Am

Today in 
1775 The first abolitionist society in U.S. was organized 
 in Philadelphia with Ben Franklin as president.
1793 A royalist rebellion in Santo Domingo was crushed by 
 French republican troops.
1860 The first Pony Express rider arrived in San Francisco 
 with mail originating in St. Joseph, MO.
1865 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in 
 Ford's Theater by John Wilkes Booth. He actually died 
 early the next morning.
1894 First public showing of Thomas Edison's kinetoscope 
 took place.
1902 James Cash (J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store 
in Kemmerer, WY. It was called the Golden Rule Store.
1912 The Atlantic passenger liner Titanic, on its maiden 
 voyage hit an iceberg and began to sink. 1,517 people lost 
 their lives and more than 700 survived.
1931 King Alfonso XIII of Spain went into exile and the 
 Spanish Republic was proclaimed.
1946 The civil war between Communists and nationalist 
 resumed in China.
1953 Viet Minh invaded Laos with 40,00 troops.
1956 Ampex Corporation of Redwood City, CA, demonstrated 
 the first commercial magnetic tape recorder for sound 
 and picture.
1981 America's first space shuttle, Columbia, returned 
to Earth after a three-day test flight. The shuttle 
orbited the Earth 36 times during the mission.
1984 The Texas Board of Education began requiring that 
 the state's public school textbooks describe the evolution 
 of human beings as "theory rather than fact".
1986 U.S. President Reagan announced the U.S. air raid on 
 military and terrorist related targets in Libya.
1987 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev proposed banning all 
 missiles from Europe.
1988 Representatives from the U.S.S.R., Pakistan, Afghanistan 
 and the U.S. signed an agreement that called for the 
 withdrawal of Soviet forces from Afghanistan starting on 
 May 15. The last Soviet troop left Afghanistan on 
 February 15, 1989.
1988 In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona 
 Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion.
1998 The state of Virginia ignored the requests from the 
 World Court and executed a Paraguayan for the murder of 
 a U.S. woman.
1999 Pakistan test-fired a ballistic missile that was capable 
 of carrying a nuclear warhead and reaching its rival neighbor 
 India.
2002 Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returned to office two 
 days after being arrested by his country's military.
2008 Delta Air Lines and Northwest Airlines announced they were 
 combining. 
2014  smiled.


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How to change the Google password? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 13.

Ibuprofen + Tylenol + Aspercreme do help.
So does the vibrating massage mat.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Texas School Cosellor jailed for Repeatedly Having Sex With Student Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1984 U.S. President Reagan sent emergency military aid to El Salvador without congressional approval. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. --- John Cage (1912 - 1992) "According to Newsweek, they've now come out with the carbon diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces green- house gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so bad that you are causing global warming... just stay out of Taco Bell." --- Jay Leno
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A guy and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over 11 years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" the man asked. "Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," he said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the shoe shop. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!" "No kidding?" the customer called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time." The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton- like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
Click on the picture for the large version Who's Got The Salt and Pepper ?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ellen Wermeling, 32, Houston, TX Texas School Cosellor jailed for Repeatedly Having Sex With Student Ellen Wermeling, a 32-year-old counselor at Aldine MacArthur High School, has been charged with repeatedly having sex with a student. According to police, an investigation was launched after the student told a school staff member that he and Wermeling had engaged in sex on multiple occasions. Investigators say the student contacted Wermeling through her Instagram account on Feb. 28 and she agreed to pick him up so they could "hang out" at her residence. It was there Wermeling and the student watched a movie and then engaged in sexual intercourse. The teen told detectives that he and Wermeling also had sex at her residence on March 6 and March 8. During an interview with police, Wermeling stated that she never spoke to the teen through her Instagram account. She reportedly closed her Instagram account on March 25, the same day she was contacted about the allegations. Wermeling also denied that the teen had ever been to her residence. Wermeling was booked into jail and charged with improper relationship between educator and student. She was released after posting a $10,000 bond. ________ I can't understand why a cute woman like that would mess with a yappy student and wreck her career. Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: How to change the Gmail password I cannot find a way to change my GMail password. Do you know how to, or where I can get the info? Hope the Aspercreme helps! Carol T Dear Carol Go to accounts.google.com EditPasswd. Type your current password and your new password. Hit Change password. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Aluminum Foil for Sealing Glue Use a small piece of aluminum foil to cover the tip opening and screw back the cap of the glue. By singkp [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this: Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes to those, who don't work. In order to get that paycheck. I am required to pass a random urine test, which I have no problem with. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their butt forever. Can you imagine how much money the state would save, if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ?
"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house." "Yes, Madam. How large is your house?" -------- "We are having mother for dinner, darling." "Make sure she's well done." -------- "It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other." "Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears." --------- "Do these stairs take you to the second floor?" "No, you'll have to walk" --------- "I have changed! my mind." Thank heaven! Does it work better now?" --------- Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have?

» Pan Am

Today in 
1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes 
 which granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots.
1759 The French defeated the European allies in Battle of Bergen.
1775 Lord North extended the New England Restraining Act to 
 South Carolina, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Maryland. 
 The act prohibited trade with any country other than Britain 
 and Ireland.
1782 Washington, NC, was incorporated as the first town to be 
 named for George Washington.
1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion 
 to Catholics.
1849 The Hungarian Republic was proclaimed.
1860 The first mail was delivered via Pony Express when a 
 westbound rider arrived in Sacremento, CA from St. Joseph, MO.
1861 After 34 hours of bombardment, the Union-held Fort Sumter 
 surrenders to Confederates.
1916 The first hybrid seed corn was purchased for 15-cents 
 a bushel by Samuel Ramsay.
1919 British forces killed hundreds of Indian nationalists 
 in the Amritsar Massacre.
1933 The first flight over Mount Everest was completed by 
 Lord Clydesdale.
1941 German troops captured Belgrade, Yugoslavia.
1945 Vienna fell to Soviet troops.
1949 Philip S. Hench and associates announced that 
 cortizone was an effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis.
1959 A Vatican edict prohibited Roman Catholics from voting 
 for Communists.
1960 The first navigational satellite was launched into Earth's orbit.
1961 The U.N. General Assembly condemned South Africa due to apartheid.
1962 In the U.S., major steel companies rescinded announced price 
 increases. The John F. Kennedy administration had been applying 
 pressure against the price increases.

1970 An oxygen tank exploded on Apollo 13, preventing a 
 planned moon landing.
1979 The world's longest doubles ping-pong match ended 
 after 101 hours.
1984 U.S. President Reagan sent emergency military aid to 
 El Salvador without congressional approval.
1990 The Soviet Union accepted responsibility for the 
 World War II murders of thousands of imprisoned Polish 
 officers in the Katyn Forest. The Soviets had previously 
 blamed the massacre on the Nazis.
1998 Dolly, the world's first cloned sheep, gave natural 
 birth to a healthy baby lamb.
2002 Twenty-five Hindus were killed and about 30 were wounded 
 when grenades were thrown by suspected Islamic guerrillas 
 near Jammu-Kashir.
2002 Venezuela's interim president, Pedro Carmona, resigned 
 a day after taking office. Thousands of protesters had 
 supported Hugo Chavez. 
2014  smiled.


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Back again! 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, April 12.

I dumped the Naproxen. Seems I am allergic to it.
Ibuprofen + Tylenol seems to help, though something is 
still making me dizzy.
For the back, Moe in California suggested Aspercreme
and have a girlfriend smear it on my back.
Went to the drugstore, and they had it on the shelf.
Have not found a girlfriend, but was able to reach 
most of the affected areas myself. It does seem 
to help!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Utah woman jailed after burning bacon extra crispy while attempting to burn down ex-boyfriend's home Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1985 U.S. Senator Jake Garn of Utah became the first senator to fly in space as the shuttle Discovery lifted off from Cape Canaveral, FL. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
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I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by, and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch. "You're going to lose the contents of your briefcase," I warned him. As he yanked it up to look, the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, "How on earth did you do that?"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing students from Southern California. After chatting them up awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the service. When we told them we were in the infantry, the girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they told us how sweet that was. Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same sen- tence, I was a little confused. Until, that is, one of the girls said, "We admire any man who works with infants." We never did tell them the truth.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cameo Crispi, 31, Naples, Utah Utah woman jailed after burning bacon extra crispy while attempting to burn down ex-boyfriend's home Cameo Crispi, a 31-year-old Utah woman, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly tried to set fire to her ex-boyfriends home with a pound of burning bacon. According to Naples police, officers were contacted by Crispi's ex-boyfriend on March 14 after she allegedly harassed him with repeated phone calls and text messages. The man told police that he wanted the calls to stop and didn't want Crispi to be inside his home. Officers were then dispatched to the man's home on suspicion that she might be at the ex-boyfriend's residence against his wishes. Investigators say officers arrived at the man's home to find smoke pouring through the front door and an intoxicated Cameo Crispi inside. The officer entered the home and found a wood burning stove with a fire burning inside and several hot coals laying on the floor outside of the stove. In the kitchen the officer found a cookie sheet loaded with a pound of bacon sitting on top of the kitchen stove. The officer noted that the burner was set to "high" and that the bacon was "severely burned and smoking badly." The officer shut down both stoves, arrested Crispi and then transported her to a local hospital to receive a medical clearance before taking her to jail. When a doctor at the hospital asked Crispi about what had transpired at the residence, Crispi allegedly stated that she was attempting to start a fire in the house to get back at her ex-boyfriend, according to the arrest affidavit. Crispi was booked into the Uintah County Jail and charged with arson, burglary, assault by a prisoner, interfering with an arresting officer, electronic communication harassment and intoxication. She is expected back in court on April 14. Tech Support Pits From: Re: No Questsion No Answer Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Repurpose Waste Water I live in the desert. Water is like gold, but is wasted more times than I care to mention. Here's some insight on how I "repurpose" water. Remember that you are paying for every drop that comes out of your faucet. Why not recycle it? I keep a plastic rectangle container (from the dollar store) on one side of my kitchen sink. When I am waiting for the water to heat, it goes into the container. I wash my hands over the container too. I use this water for everything and anything! If I'm washing clothes that day, it goes in the washer. If I'm mopping my floor, it goes into the mop bucket. If my plants outside need a drink, it goes into my garden (remember soapy water does not hurt plants). If you keep the container nice and clean (sanitary) you can fill your ice cube trays (if you still use those). You can make drinks that call for water (Kool Aid, frozen juices, etc). You can even flush the toilet with water you have saved. These may not be convenient to do, it does take some effort, but you will notice the reward on your next water bill. Make a conscious effort and you can lower your water bill. I also have ways of cutting down on electric and gas! By Tank [1] If you are renting, then you can't do this, but if it is your own home, then you can divert ALL your grey water to a barrel in the garden. Plants love shower and bath water just as much as used dish washing water. The only water, that needs to go through your septic system first is brown water. If water is really expensive, consider a "peatmoss throne". They look goofy, but they work really well. I used one in the Yukon for many years. Instead of a 5 Gallon flush, you use a cup of peatmoss and crank the handle once. And at the end of the month you got a drawer full of garden ready compost fertilizer. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From jean Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen. "What would you like for dinner, sweetheart? Chicken, beef or lamb?” I said, “Why thank you, I’ll have chicken!" She replied, "You're having soup Dear. I was talking to the cat."
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his model 1911 Colt .45 caliber pistol with an 8 round magazine, and yelled, " Who in here has been sleeping with my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need a lot more ammo."

» Woodies

Today in 
1096 Peter the Hermit gathered his army in Cologne.
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
1606 England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag.
1782 The British navy won its only naval engagement against 
 the colonists in the American Revolution at the Battle of 
 Saints, off Dominica.
1799 Phineas Pratt patented the comb cutting machine.
1811 The first colonists arrived at Cape Disappointment, 
 Washington.
1833 Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe.
1861 Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting 
 America's Civil War.
1864 Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest captured Fort 
 Pillow, in Tennessee and slaughters the black Union troops 
 there.
1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in the U.S. 
 to use voting machines.
1905 The Hippodrome opened in New York City.
1911 Pierre Prier completed the first non-stop London-Paris 
 flight in three hours and 56 minutes.
1916 American cavalrymen and Mexican bandit troops clashed 
 at Parrel, Mexico.
1927 The British Cabinet came out in favor of women voting 
 rights.
1938 The first U.S. law requiring a medical test for a 
 marriage license was enacted in New York.
1944 The U.S. Twentieth Air Force was activated to begin 
 the strategic bombing of Japan.
1945 In New York, the organization of the first eye bank, 
 the Eye Bank for Sight Restoration, was announced.
1955 The University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation 
 Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk 
 was "safe, effective and potent."
1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man to 
 orbit the Earth.
1963 Police used dogs and cattle prods on peaceful civil 
 rights demonstrators in Birmingham, AL.
1982 The British Navy began enforcing a blockade around 
 the Falkland Islands.
1984 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Challenger made the first 
 satellite repair in orbit by returning the Solar Max satellite 
 to space.
1984 Israeli troops stormed a bus that had been hijacked the previous 
 evening by four Arab terrorists. All the passengers were rescued and 
 2 of the hijackers were killed.
1985 U.S. Senator Jake Garn of Utah became the first senator 
 to fly in space as the shuttle Discovery lifted off from 
 Cape Canaveral, FL.
1987 Texaco filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy after it failed to 
 settle a legal dispute with Pennzoil Co.
1988 Harvard University won a patent for a genetically altered 
 mouse. It was the first patent for a life form.
1989 In the U.S.S.R, ration cards were issued for the first time 
 since World War II. The ration was prompted by a sugar shortage.
1992 Disneyland Paris opened in Marne-La-Vallee, France.
1993 NATO began enforcing a no-fly zone over Bosnia and Herzegovina.
2000 More than 1,500 anti-drug agents raided four cities in 
 Colombia and arrested 46 members of the "most powerful" 
 heroin ring.
2000 Robert Cleaves, 71, was convicted of second degree murder 
 and was sentenced to 16 years in prison. Cleaves had 
 repeatedly run over Arnold Guerreiro on September 30, 1998 
 with his car after the two had an argument.
2002 It was announced that the South African version of 
 "Sesame Street" would be introducing a character that 
 was HIV-positive.
2002 JCPenney Chairman Allen Questrom rang the opening bell 
 to start the business day at the New York Stock Exchange as 
 part of the company's centennial celebrations. James Cash 
 (J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store on April 14, 1902. 
2014  smiled.


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XP Panic mongering 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 10.

Yesterday evening I had some sortof diabetic malfunction.
I was hot and sweating, yet my skin was cold and wet. 
So I decided to have a short nap and let it straighten
out. Woke up 2 hours later, (I had expected to wake up in
45 minuts) with terrible lower back pain.
Went tothekitchen for some coffee, and remember hearing 
clattering down on the floor.

I didn't break anything important, because nything 
important is on a high shelf.
However, I was very disoriented and dizzy in addition to
the backache, and it took me ten minutes to get up.

Tried to call Barb, my friend and former secretary.
Wrong area code.

Staggered to my computer and sat down. Remembered her 
correct number and called her. She showed up in  a minute.
I checked blood sugar: 4.6. Low record for me. So I ate
some Dextrose tablets.

Then Barb called 911. Five minuteslaterthe EMTs were here.

They did a full 16 point EKG and hemmed and hawed over the 
print-out but finally admitted that the heart was OK.
Blood pressure was very low, but not catastrophic. Sugar 
was now very high, due to the dextrose tablets.
They were stumped and suggested hauling me to the hospital.

At the hospital they repeated all those tests and added soms
blood analysis. White blood cell count was very high, I was d
dehydrated, but they had no clue why. 
So they decided to keep me in triage overnight, on a very 
narrow and uncomfortable "bed".

By mid mornin they still did not have a clue as to what was
causing it, but noticed that the triangle muscle pack in my
lower back was all cramped up.

So they prescribed Naproxen 375 mg, and told me to get it 
from the drugstore. It would not alleviate the pain, but 
if it was caused by some inflammation, it would reduce that.
And not to take Aspirin alongside it.

Well, I have never seen an inflammation come on THAT suddenly,
but Barb drove me to the drugstore and I got that medicine
anyway. 

So far it has not made a diffeence, and sittinge at the 
computer is very painful.

I took Copper fora walk. That was a dumb idea. His excited
bouncing around would have been good for a normal twisted
or "put out" back, but sure was not good for what I got now.

I wonder if I could take a muscle relaxerlike Ibuprofen
alongside the Naproxen. If any one of you know, please 
tell me as soon as possible!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Utah woman jailed after burning bacon extra crispy while attempting to burn down ex-boyfriend's home Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1986 Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, CA. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
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I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by, and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch. "You're going to lose the contents of your briefcase," I warned him. As he yanked it up to look, the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, "How on earth did you do that?"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing students from Southern California. After chatting them up awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the service. When we told them we were in the infantry, the girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they told us how sweet that was. Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same sen- tence, I was a little confused. Until, that is, one of the girls said, "We admire any man who works with infants." We never did tell them the truth.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cameo Crispi, 31, Naples, Utah Utah woman jailed after burning bacon extra crispy while attempting to burn down ex-boyfriend's home Cameo Crispi, a 31-year-old Utah woman, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly tried to set fire to her ex-boyfriends home with a pound of burning bacon. According to Naples police, officers were contacted by Crispi's ex-boyfriend on March 14 after she allegedly harassed him with repeated phone calls and text messages. The man told police that he wanted the calls to stop and didn't want Crispi to be inside his home. Officers were then dispatched to the man's home on suspicion that she might be at the ex-boyfriend's residence against his wishes. Investigators say officers arrived at the man's home to find smoke pouring through the front door and an intoxicated Cameo Crispi inside. The officer entered the home and found a wood burning stove with a fire burning inside and several hot coals laying on the floor outside of the stove. In the kitchen the officer found a cookie sheet loaded with a pound of bacon sitting on top of the kitchen stove. The officer noted that the burner was set to "high" and that the bacon was "severely burned and smoking badly." The officer shut down both stoves, arrested Crispi and then transported her to a local hospital to receive a medical clearance before taking her to jail. When a doctor at the hospital asked Crispi about what had transpired at the residence, Crispi allegedly stated that she was attempting to start a fire in the house to get back at her ex-boyfriend, according to the arrest affidavit. Crispi was booked into the Uintah County Jail and charged with arson, burglary, assault by a prisoner, interfering with an arresting officer, electronic communication harassment and intoxication. She is expected back in court on April 14. Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Is it time to panic about XP? Dear Webby, What will happen when Microsoft stops supporting Windows XP? My computer is 9 years and working great. Will I have to purchase a new computer with Microsoft 8?? Please tell me no!! Is it possible to still an XP and if so where? Should I be backing up or saving specific information other than the normal things? Thank you so much. Dani Dear Dani Nothing will happen when Microsoft stops supporting XP, just like nothing happened whenever you needed support in the last 9 years. There are billions of XP machines in use in industry and commerce, and nobody is rushing out to get W7 or W8 machines. They are generally considered cutesy crap and not really suitable for work. W7 and W8 are an incentive to finally switch to Linux, and a lot of industry and commerce are doing just that, whenever an XP machine dies of old age. However, they are not letting Microsoft stampeding them or getting worried about an April deadline. They never call Microsoft for support anyway. Exactly the same as those Billions of XP machines in industry and commerce all over the world, your machine will continue to run until the drives or the motherboard die of old age. By then you have hopefully gotten used to Opne Office and Thunderbird and GIMP. Those programs are equivalents to Microsoft Office, Windows Live Mail, and Photoshop, except that they are free, and work exactly the same on Windows as on Linux. That way, when the time comes to upgrade, you are already used to the programs you work with. Also hang around on some Linux forums and get familiar with the slang they use. Just lurk and observe and get to know the gals and guys, and find one, who might be a good mentor for you. It's no big deal, if you slowly prepare for the upgrade. You can even run Linux from a "Live CD", while you still have Windows on the computer. W7 can be made usable for work, but it takes some doing. It's strength is in easy networking, connecting to networks and letting networks connect to W7 machines. However, they shuffled everything around. The gas pedal is now in the ashtray and the shift lever is in the glove compartment. Eventually you might find all the stuff, but it takes time, and by then you will thoroughly hate W7. W8 is even worse. W8 is great for automatically connecting to everything from your and your neighbor's phone to tablets and garage door openers, but to find what you need to get some work done apparently is a nightmare. Personally, I have managed to avoid it. It is a lot easier to slide onto Linux, and you don't need a new and powerful machine with Linux. Just prepare and don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mesh Bags for Dishwashing Small Items I save the mesh bags from produce items, such as onions and s hallots, the finer the mesh the better. Make sure there are no holes in the bag, other than those already in the mesh fabric. Cut off the ends of the bag to form a tube shape. Place a rubber band tightly at one end. Place small items that would fly around during the dishwasher cycle. Close the other open end with another rubber band, again, wound tightly. Put the mesh bag in an area of the dishwasher, preferably the top rack in a spot where the bag will stay put. Run your dishwasher, and voila! The small items will be clean, and the bag will be re-usable. Keep in mind to make certain the items you plan to wash are dishwasher safe. By Lise Sokoloski T. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: '4 better, 4 worse, 4 poorer, 4 richer.'" ------------- I have done all except the "4 richer". Wonder what I should do to attract those?

» Calico Cats

Today in 
1741 Frederick II of Prussia defeated Maria Theresa's forces 
 at Mollwitz and conquered Silesia.
1790 The U.S. patent system was established.
1809 Austria declared war on France and its forces entered 
 Bavaria.
1814 Napoleon was defeated at the Battle of Toulouse by the 
 British and the Spanish. The defeat led to his abdication 
 and exile to Elba.
1825 The first hotel opened in Hawaii.
1849 Walter Hunt patented the safety pin. He sold the rights 
 for $100.
1862 Union forces began the bombardment of Fort Pulaski in 
 Georgia along the Tybee River.
1902 South African Boers accepted British terms of surrender.
1912 The Titanic set sail from Southampton, England.
1919 In Mexico, revolutionary leader Emiliano Zapata was 
 killed by government troops.
1925 F. Scott Fitzgerald published "The Great Gatsby"
1930 The first synthetic rubber was produced.
1932 Paul von Hindenburg was elected president of Germany 
 with 19 million votes. Adolf Hitler came in second with 
 13 million votes.
1938 Germany annexed Austria after Austrians had voted in 
 a referundum to merge with Germany.
1941 In World War II, U.S. troops occupied Greenland to 
 prevent Nazi infiltration.
1941 Ford Motor Co. became the last major automaker to 
 recognize the United Auto Workers as the representative 
 for its workers.
1944 Russian troops recaptured Odessa from the Germans.
1945 German Me 262 jet fighters shot down ten U.S. bombers 
 near Berlin.
1959 Japan's Crown Prince Akihito married commoner 
 Michiko Shoda.
1960 The U.S. Senate passed the Civil Rights Bill.
1963 129 people died when the nuclear-powered submarine USS 
 Thresher failed to surface off Cape Cod, MA.
1968 U.S. President Johnson replaced General Westmoreland 
 with General Creighton Abrams in Vietnam.
1972 An earthquake in southern Iran killed more than 5,000 people.
1972 The U.S. and the Soviet Union joined with 70 other nations 
 in signing an agreement banning biological warfare.
1973 In Switzerland, 108 people died when a plane crashed while 
 attempting to land at Basel.
1980 Spain and Britain agreed to reopen the border between 
 Gibraltar and Spain. It had been closed since 1969.
1981 Imprisoned IRA hunger striker Bobby Sands was elected to 
 the British Parliament.
1984 The U.S. Senate condemned the CIA mining of 
 Nicaraguan harbors.
1990 Three European hostages kidnapped at sea in 1987 by 
 Palestinian extremists were released in Beirut.
1994 NATO warplanes launched air strikes for the first time 
 on Serb forces that were advancing on the Bosnian Muslim 
 town of Gordazde. The area had been declared a U.N. safe area.
1996 U.S. President Clinton vetoed a bill that would have 
 outlawed a technique used to end pregnancies in their 
 late stages.
1998 Negotiators reached a peace accord on governing British 
 ruled Northern Ireland. Britain's direct rule was ended.
1999 The www.June4.org web site was launched by Chinese 
 dissidents and human rights activists to promote their 
 campaign for democracy in China.
2001 The Netherlands legalized mercy killings and assisted 
 suicide for patients with unbearable, terminal illness.
2009 In Fiji, President Josefa Iloilo suspended the nation's 
 Constitution, dismissed all judges and constitutional appointees 
 and assumed all governance in the country.
2014  smiled.


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Is it time to panic about XP? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 8.

Thanks to Anna for sending the link to Earth from the 
space station at night. The video is speeded up to show
about one shot per minute smoothly. There are lots of northern
lights sequences in there too. Earth from space  
There are probebly a years worth of pictures in that 
compilation. Don't worry, they are all night shots and don't 
show what you do in the back yard or i the bushes down by
the river.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon drunk wearing a "Drunk As Shit" t-shirt, who was arrested for drunk driving Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1986 Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, CA. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste. --- Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966)
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Trisha is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trisha," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, "but the store is full of mothers."
Thanks to DiAnna Lee for sending this picture Click on the picture for the large version Falcon nesting in a tree
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brian McCurren, South Bend, Ind. Oregon drunk wearing a "Drunk As Shit" t-shirt is arrested for drunk driving An Oregon motorist wearing a “Drunk As Shit” t-shirt was arrested Sunday night on a DUI charge. Ross McMakin, a 21-year-old Corvalis resident, was collared after he drove his vehicle on the sidewalk, struck a parked car, and then assaulted his girlfriend when she tried to seize the car keys. According to cops, McMakin, seen in the above mug shot, was behind the wheel because his girlfriend did not know how to drive a stick shift. McMakin was charged with an assortment of crimes, including drunk driving, reckless endangerment, harassment, and strangulation (for throttling his girlfriend). Since he will be doing that again, she better take up body building to get a thick neck, and learn karate! Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Is it time to panic about XP? Dear Webby, What will happen when Microsoft stops supporting Windows XP? My computer is 9 years and working great. Will I have to purchase a new computer with Microsoft 8?? Please tell me no!! Is it possible to still an XP and if so where? Should I be backing up or saving specific information other than the normal things? Thank you so much. Dani Dear Dani Nothing will happen when Microsoft stops supporting XP, just like nothing happened whenever you needed support in the last 9 years. There are billions of XP machines in use in industry and commerce, and nobody is rushing out to get W7 or W8 machines. They are generally considered cutesy crap and not really suitable for work. W7 and W8 are an incentive to finally switch to Linux, and a lot of industry and commerce are doing just that, whenever an XP machine dies of old age. However, they are not letting Microsoft stampeding them or getting worried about an April deadline. They never call Microsoft for support anyway. Exactly the same as those Billions of XP machines in industry and commerce all over the world, your machine will continue to run until the drives or the motherboard die of old age. By then you have hopefully gotten used to Opne Office and Thunderbird and GIMP. Those programs are equivalents to Microsoft Office, Windows Live Mail, and Photoshop, except that they are free, and work exactly the same on Windows as on Linux. That way, when the time comes to upgrade, you are already used to the programs you work with. Also hang around on some Linux forums and get familiar with the slang they use. Just lurk and observe and get to know the gals and guys, and find one, who might be a good mentor for you. It's no big deal, if you slowly prepare for the upgrade. You can even run Linux from a "Live CD", while you still have Windows on the computer. W7 can be made usable for work, but it takes some doing. It's strength is in easy networking, connecting to networks and letting networks connect to W7 machines. However, they shuffled everything around. The gas pedal is now in the ashtray and the shift lever is in the glove compartment. Eventually you might find all the stuff, but it takes time, and by then you will thoroughly hate W7. W8 is even worse. W8 is great for automatically connecting to everything from your and your neighbor's phone to tablets and garage door openers, but to find what you need to get some work done apparently is a nightmare. Personally, I have managed to avoid it. It is a lot easier to slide onto Linux, and you don't need a new and powerful machine with Linux. Just prepare and don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sunday Evenings for Shopping My dear husband has found that it's easy to shop for groceries for us on Sunday evenings. Not only that, but they seem to have great specials. The flower bouquets of the week are marked down to $1 a piece to clear them! (and with trimming them and adding the preservative that comes along, they last a week or more.) So now I can have fresh cut flowers all the time! By pam munro Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, " What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."
Here is a Classic from England: For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being -- a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Sure I can help you choose which puppy to buy!"

» Calico Cats

Today in 
1513 Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain.
1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic 
 Order, assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the 
 first laws of the Protestant church, making Prussia a 
 Protestant state.
1789 The U.S. House of Representatives held its first meeting.
1832 About 300 American troops of the 6th Infantry left 
 Jefferson Barracks, St. Louis, to confront the Sauk Indians 
 in the Black Hawk War.
1839 The first Intercollegiate Rodeo was held at the 
 Godshall Ranch, Apple Valley, CA.
1873 Alfred Paraf patented the first successful oleomargarine.
1939 Italy invaded Albania.
1942 The Soviets opened a rail link to the besieged city of 
 Leningrad.
1952 U.S. President Truman seized steel mills to prevent a 
 nationwide strike.
1962 Bay of Pigs invaders got thirty years imprisonment 
 in Cuba.
1985 India filed suit against Union Carbide for the 
 Bhopal disaster.
1985 Phyllis Diller underwent a surgical procedure for 
 permanent eyeliner to eliminate the need for eyelid makeup.
1986 Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, CA.
1990 In Nepal, King Birendra lifted the 30-year ban on 
 political parties.
1992 In Britain, the last issue of "Punch Magazine"
1994 Smoking was banned in the Pentagon and all U.S. 
 military bases.
2014  smiled.


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Putting subject line into an email link 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 7.

Thank you, Dr Bill!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Notre Dame college student, who went on a booze and dope fuelled munchie rampage and break-in. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1970 John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role in "True Grit." He had been in over 200 films. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose. --- Samuel McChord Crothers Modern poetry is mostly just bad grammar. --- Socratex
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Don't You Ever Wonder Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why doctors call what they do "practice"? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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After playing 18 holes of golf, our foursome was sitting around the clubhouse settling our bets when another golfer stormed in. Fuming after a lousy round, he slammed down his scorecard and announced, "If I wasn't married, I'd give this stupid game up!"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture Click on the picture for the large version Temple in Luxor Egypt
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brian McCurren, South Bend, Ind. Notre Dame college student, who went on a booze and dope fuelled munchie rampage and break-in. A Notre Dame college student was arrested after breaking into a massage parlor, devouring a stockpile of Hot Pockets and nearly causing a serious fire. Brian McCurren, 19, was arrested Sunday morning after police say he used a flower pot to break into Therapeutic Indulgence, a massage parlor in South Bend, Ind. Parlor owner Sara Ros Frazier said McCurren crawled through the hole he made in a stained glass window. "Then he grabbed a hammer and pounded his way through a wall to get inside," Frazier told WNDU-TV. "It's just so senseless." McCurren allegedly broke lamps, mirrors, furniture and other spa equipment before spraying a fire extinguisher throughout the building. Things got messy in the kitchen. "He went through half a box of Hot Pockets," she told the station. "Macaroni and cheese was warming up in an antique style oven and then [he] passed out eating Drumsticks on a table where the police found him." The mac-and-cheese mac out set off the fire alarm, Frazier said. “The police actually pulled it out and threw it in the sink because it was so toasted, but he was sleeping through the fire alarm and everything. He could have burned the house down. Thankfully we had someone coming in here,” she told ABC57.com. Police say McCurren was visibly intoxicated upon being found and could not remember how he arrived at the location nor what he was doing there. McCurren was arrested for alleged burglary, vandalism and underage consumption. After being brought to the police station, he reportedly blew a .106 BAC, Fox28.com reports. He also allegedly admitted smoking synthetic marijuana to police, ABC57.com reports. He might be too young for drinking in Indiana, but an alcohol and break-in record is federal. Tech Support Pits From: Olga Re: Subject in email address link Dear Webby, Everybody starts with "You told us once, but I forgot where I saved that..." Add me to the choir. I need the trick for adding the subject line and a bit of the body into an email link, so that emails coming from that link have a consistent subject line, and can be easily filtered into a specific mailbox. AND to eliminate emails from bozos, who ferget to put anything into the subject line. Sounds simple enough, now how do I do that? Thanks Olga Dear Olga I am not going to use any < or > ("less than" or "greater than") signs here, because most likely your email program will see them as commands and act on them. You know where to add them. I will use { and } instead If you want to have a specific subject in the email, you can add it to the html code using ?subject=.... {a href="mailto:email@olgasdomain.com?subject=Report from Camp"}{/a} If you want to add part of the body, use &body= and your text {a href="mailto:email@olgasdomain.com?subject=Report from camp &Body= Contrary to what the National Enquirer wrote,.."}{/a} Once you put the "less than" or "greater than" signs in, it won't look so weird and will make perfect sense. During the stone age, before I got the MagicList in 1995 for sending the Humor letter, I used to handle subscriptions manually like that. It works quite well. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean Veggies With Water and Vinegar Whatever you do, don't use anti-bacterial soap! You don't want any residue in you, and it's not that good anyway, and in time causes resistance in bacteria. Mostly just water soaking will take care of cleanliness, but if you want to be safer from corporate malfeasance, 1 part vinegar (apple cider is nice) to 4 parts water kills many harmful bacteria, according to Cook's among others. That assumes you bought non-organic veggies, or maybe even organic if from a big distant company, not a local farmer. Super-perfectionists have been known to spray everything first with food grade peroxide (H2O2), wait a few minutes, then vinegar. If it's a salad, just leave the vinegar on. Source: Partly from Cook's Illustrated, but I don't have the issue. The rest I've collected over time. By P from Sacramento, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Dave We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a yuppie from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me." By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."
Daffynitions Abdicate-v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Carcinoma-n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. Esplanade-v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly-adj., impotent. Flabbergasted-adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained. Negligent-adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph-v., to walk with a lisp. Bustard-n., a very rude Metrobus driver. Coffee-n., a person who is coughed upon. Flatulence-n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash-n., a rapidly receding hairline. Testicle-n., a humorous question on an exam. Semantics-n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers. Rectitude-n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Oyster-n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

» Simple Home Fix-It Clues

Today in 
1712 A slave revolt broke out in New York City.
1798 The territory of Mississippi was organized.
1864 The first camel race in America was held in 
 Sacramento, California.
1922 U.S. Secretary of Interior leased Teapot Dome 
 naval oil reserves in Wyoming.
1927 The first long-distance TV transmission was sent from 
 Washington, DC, to New York City.
1933 Prohibition ended in the United States.
1943 British and American armies linked up between Wadi Akarit 
 and El Guettar in North Africa to form a solid line against 
 the German army.
1945 The Japanese battleship Yamato, the world’s largest 
 battleship, was sunk during the battle for Okinawa. The fleet 
 was headed for a suicide mission.
1953 IBM unveiled the IBM 701 Electronic Data Processing Machine. 
 It was IBM's first commercially available scientific computer.
1957 The last of New York City's electric trolleys completed its 
 final run from Queens to Manhattan.
1963 Yugoslavia proclaimed itself a Socialist republic.
1963 Josip Broz Tito was proclaimed to be the leader of 
 Yugoslavia for life.
1966 The U.S. recovered a hydrogen bomb it had lost off 
 the coast of Spain.
1967 Israel reported that they had shot down six Syrian MIGs.
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously struck down laws 
 prohibiting private possession of obscene material.
1970 John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role in 
 "True Grit." He had been in over 200 films.
1971 U.S. President Nixon pledged to withdraw 100,000 more 
 men from Vietnam by December, thereby ensuring defeat 
 of the USA.
1980 The U.S. broke diplomatic relations with Iran and 
 imposed economic sanctions in response to the taking of 
 hostages on November 4, 1979.
1983 Specialist Story Musgrave and Don Peterson made the 
 first Space Shuttle spacewalk.
1985 The Soviet Union announced a unilateral freeze on 
 medium-range nuclear missiles.
1988 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev agreed to final terms 
 of a Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan. Soviet troops 
 began leaving on May 16, 1988.
1988 In Fort Smith, AR, 13 white supremacists were acquitted 
 on charges for plotting to overthrow the U.S. federal government.
1989 A Soviet submarine carrying nuclear weapons sank in the 
 Norwegian Sea.
1994 Civil war erupted in Rwanda between the Patriotic Front rebel 
 group and government soldiers. Hundreds of thousands were slaughtered 
 in the months that followed.
1998 Mary Bono, the widow of Sonny Bono, won a special election 
 to serve out the remainder of her husband's congressional term.
1999 Yugoslav authorities sealed off Kosovo's main border crossings 
 to prevent ethnic Albanians from leaving.
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the Senior Citizens Freedom to 
 Work Act of 2000. The bill reversed a Depression-era law and allows 
 senior citizens to earn money without losing Social Security 
 retirement benefits.
2002 The Roman Catholic archdiocese announced that six priests 
 from the Archdiocese of New York were suspended over allegations 
 of sexual misconduct.
2009 Former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori was sentenced 
 to 25 years in prison for ordering killings and kidnappings 
 by security forces. 
2014  smiled.


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HP printer won't stay installed 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 6.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Chris Miller, who, after serving 15 years for armed robbery, did it again the day after he got out. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1985 William J. Schroeder became the first artificial heart recipient to be discharged from the hospital. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If the fans don't wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop 'em. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - )
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When a coworker received a phone call from her daughter, we heard her exclaim joyfully, "Seven and a half pounds! I'm so proud!" After she had hung up, I asked, "Boy or girl?" "Neither," my colleague replied... "Diet."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
"Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One moment, please." Pause. "I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild." "No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild." "I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild." "Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!" "That, *sir*, is NOT the way you spell Theodore."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture Click on the picture for the large version Pyramids of Giza
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Miller, 40, back in jail After serving 15 years for armed robbery, he did it again. Police say a man walked out of a New Jersey prison after serving 15 years for robbing a children's shoe store, headed straight back to the same shop and robbed it again. In 1999, 25-year-old Christopher Miller was arrested after he forced employees into the back room of the Stride Rite shoe store on Hooper Avenue in Toms River, tied them up and fled with cash. After a 15-year sentence, Miller was released on Friday from South Woods State Prison in Bridgeton. Police say Miller, now 40, took a bus from Atlantic City to Toms River on Saturday, and went to the same shoe store. Employees tell police that he entered the store and demanded cash, telling the workers -- a teenage boy and 43-year-old woman -- to go to the back room. They refused. He became agitated, according to police, and took the cash register drawer, which had $389. He then took the workers' cell phones and fled on foot.Police say he was found a few blocks away, with the cash stashed in a gutter and the phones in a garbage can. Toms River Police Chief Mitchell Little says he has to wonder whether Miller considers prison life home. "Maybe that's the only life he knows, and the only thing he could think of was going back to the same store and doing the same crime again -- getting caught and going back where he was taken care of and told what to do and getting meals and shelter and everything else," he said. Police say Miller lists Tulsa, Okla. as his last address. His connection to Toms River is not clear. He is charged with robbery and is being held on $100,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: HP printer won't stay installed Dear Webby, Hey, I've got another question. I've had Microsoft Office 2003 in the past, registered to me. When my computer crashed several months ago, I didn't have the cd to reinstall. So I used Open Office. However, I received a job that really needed MS Office, so I contacted the guy who installed, got a cd from him and reinstalled it. I'm sure there's some add-ons that I've missed and he hasn't responded to my questions just yet. However, I've noticed that since I re-installed MS Office, the computer keeps losing my printer, an HP2410. I never had this problem before. I bet I've reinstalled that printer 3-4 times in the last month. Any suggestions? Again, I thank you for your technical omniscience. Noella Dear Noella Open Office doesn't really have anything to do with that. Printers are installed a few layers deeper down, from the Control Panel. UNinstalling all printers and then re-installing that HP MIGHT cure the problem. If that doesn't fix it, you'll have to call HP or Microsoft. Unless there have been drastic changes at HP, I doubt that their Taliban would be useful. You might get some reasonable help from Microsoft's 1-800. Just use Skype on speakers or a speaker-phone, not anything you have to hold up to your head. Considering it is an XP, I would not waste time and call Microsoft as soon as possible. They have mentoned often enough, that they will stop supporting XP this month. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dress Up Box For kids who like to dress up you can fill up a box of dress up items from a thrift shop. Also add some accessories from the dollar store. You can also find Halloween reduced costumes in stores. For a boy a plastic tool box with a handle would be great for his items. Use your imagination for decorating the boxes. By coville123 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A man says to a friend, "I've got a riddle for you. If there were three crows on a fence post and I shot one, how many would be left?" Without hesitating, the friend says, "Two left." "You don't get the point," the man says. "Listen to the riddle. There were three crows on a fence post. Then I shot one. How many would be left?" "Two left," the friend says again. "No," the man says in a superior tone of voice. "None would be left, because if I shot one then the other two would fly away." "Isn't that what I've been saying?" the friend says. "Two left."
A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-faced lady answered. "What party does your husband belong to?" he asked. The lady responded curtly, "I sir, am the party he belongs to."

» Stunning Portraits

Today in 
1199  English King Richard I was killed by an arrow at the 
 siege of the castle of Chaluz in France.
1652  Jan van Riebeeck established a settlement at Cape Town
1789  The first U.S. Congress began regular sessions at the 
 Federal Hall in New York City.

1814  Granted sovereignty in the island of Elba and a pension 
 from the French government, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicates at 
 Fountainebleau. He was allowed to keep the title of emperor.
1830  Joseph Smith and five others organized the Mormon Church 
 in western New York.
1830  Relations between the Texans and Mexico reached a new 
 low when Mexico would not allow further emigration into Texas 
 by settlers from the U.S.
1862  The American Civil War Battle of Shiloh began in Tennessee.
1865  At the Battle of Sayler's Creek, a third of Lee's army 
 was cut off by Union troops pursuing him to Appomattox.
1875  Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent for the 
 multiple telegraph, which sent two signals at the same time.
1896  The first modern Olympic Games began in Athens, Greece.
1903  French Army Nationalists were revealed for forging 
 documents to guarantee a conviction for Alfred Dryfus.
1909  Americans Robert Peary and Matthew Henson claimed to 
 be the first men to reach the North Pole.
1916  Charlie Chaplin became the highest-paid film star 
 in the world when he signed a contract with Mutual Film 
 Corporation for $675,000 a year. He was 26 years old.
1917  The U.S. Congress approved a declaration of war on 
 Germany and entered World War I on the Allied side.
1924  Four planes left Seattle on the first successful 
 flight around the world.
1938  The United States recognized the German conquest of 
 Austria.
1941  German forces invaded Greece and Yugoslavia.
1953  Iranian Premier Mossadegh demanded that the shah's 
 power be reduced.
1957  Trolley cars in New York City completed final runs.
1965  U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson authorized the use of 
 ground troops in combat operations in Vietnam.
1967  In South Vietnam, 1,500 Viet Cong attacked Quangtri 
 and freed 200 prisoners.
1981  A Yugoslav Communist Party official confirmed reports of 
 intense ethnic riots in Kosovo.
1983  The U.S. Veteran's Administration announced it would 
 give free medical care for conditions traceable to radiation 
 exposure to more than 220,000 veterans who participated in 
 nuclear tests from 1945 to 1962.
1985  William J. Schroeder became the first artificial heart 
 recipient to be discharged from the hospital.
1998  Federal researchers in the U.S. announced that daily 
 tamoxifen pills could cut breast cancer risk among 
 high-risk women.
1998  Pakistan successfully tested medium-range missiles 
 capable of attacking neighboring India. 
2014  smiled.


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Choose Laser or inkjet printers? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, April 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Bimbo bragged on Facebook about using "Buzz Killer" to beat probation mandated alcohol test. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
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There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. The boys say he is two bricks short of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "No sir, you see, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it and giving me free nickels!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman says "Yep, thats them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" Bush answers, "We're planning World War III." The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Then Powell replies, "Well, we're going to kill 22 million Iranians this time and one big busted bicycle repair lady in Seattle." And the guy exclaimed, "Why a bicycle repair lady?!!!" So Powell turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 22 million Iranians!"
Click on the picture for the large version Great Wall Of China
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Colleen Cudney, 22, Michigan Michigan woman bragged online about breaching her DUI probation A Michigan woman could be heading to jail this week after allegedly bragging on Facebook about beating a random breathalyzer test. Colleen Cudney, 22, is not allowed to drink as a condition of her probation for a 2012 drunken driving conviction, and was called in for the test after St. Patrick's Day, according to Local 4 News. She passed the test, then boasted on Facebook about her "achievement." "Buzz killer for me, I had to breathalyze this morning and I drank yesterday but I passed thank god lol," she allegedly posted in a status update that eventually got the attention of law enforcement. Cudney was called in for another test -- a urine test, which could detect the consumption of alcohol from up to 80 hours previously -- but reportedly hung up, another probation violation. She's due in court on Tuesday and is facing 93 days in jail. Tech Support Pits From: Rosemary Re: Inkjet or laser printer Dear Webby, At what point should one buy a laser printer instead of an inkjet printer? Rosemary Dear Rosemary When you can afford a Laser printer. The cheapest Laser is better than the most expensive inkjet. Lasers have really come down in price, especially Black and White ones. Sure, you get free some inkjets for subscribing to kitchen or make-up magazines, but they really get you with the ink and the automatic renewal on those magazines. Resist the temptation and get a laser printer. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dress Up Box For kids who like to dress up you can fill up a box of dress up items from a thrift shop. Also add some accessories from the dollar store. You can also find Halloween reduced costumes in stores. For a boy a plastic tool box with a handle would be great for his items. Use your imagination for decorating the boxes. By coville123 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy whom I chucked out into the rain in Buffalo!"
Abe is a new arrival at a retirement community, and is passing the morning sunning himself on a bench near the garden. Becky is out for her morning constitutional, spies Abe, and says "Do you mind?" "Not at all" Abe says, so Becky sits down on the opposite end of his bench. "So, you're new here" says Becky. "Yes" Abe nods. "So, where are you from?" asks Becky. "Washington" Abe answers. "The state or the capitol?" asks Becky. "The state" replies Abe. "So how old are you ? asks Becky. "I'll be 62 in October.". Abe replies "What did you do in Washington?" asks Becky. "I was in prison" Abe says. "Really!" says Becky, "what did you do?" "My wife was always asking stupid questions, so I chopped her up and put her down the garbage disposal" he says. "Sooo," purrs Becky, "you're single?"

» CardStacker

Today in 
1242 Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the 
 Teutonic Knights.
1614 American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist 
 John Rolfe in Virginia.
1621 The Mayflower sailed from Plymouth, MA, on a return 
 trip to England.
1806 Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill.
1843 Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British 
 crown colony.
1908 The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the 
 Russians retreated.
1923 Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first 
 regular production of balloon tires.
1930 Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India.
1941 German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in 
 preparation for Germany’s invasion of the Balkans.
1951 Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death 
 for committing espionage for the Soviet Union.
1955 Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister.
1986 A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan terrorists. 
 The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in retaliation on 
 April 15, 1986.
1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the 
 largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku 
 and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion.
1999 Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988 
 were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands 
 for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing.
2004 Near Mexico City's international airport, lightning 
 struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on.
2009 North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, 
 prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations 
 Security Council. 
2014  smiled.


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Copyright symbol character © 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 4.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Las Vegas masseuse, who stole client's $35G Rolex by hiding in it inside her vagina Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/l ... z2xsnX5Nst Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North America was climbed. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. --- Bill Watterson (1958 - ),
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Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "uh oh."
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A man went on a ski trip, and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury. "Why is the injury not covered?" he asked. "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre-existing condition."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Frozen bicycle cop
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christina Lafave, 25, Las Vegas, NV Las Vegas masseuse, who stole client's $35G Rolex by hiding in it inside her vagina A Las Vegas masseuse stole a client's $35,000 Rolex and hid it inside her vagina, police said. Christina Lafave, 25, allegedly pinched the valuable watch whilst giving a relaxing $300 rubdown to Kenneth Herold, 66, at the Wynn Hotel. The pair reportedly met in the hotel's bar in the early hours of the morning, and headed up to his private room soon after. Herold claims that he undressed and got onto a massage table in his suite. Some 30 minutes into the session, he says Lafave asked him to remove his watch so she could work on his arms. Putting the watch on the floor where he could see it, he realized around five minutes later that it had gone. Herold accused Lafave - who has Metro-issued work cards allowing her to dance at Cheetahs, Cover Girls and Babes strip clubs - of stealing the watch and called hotel security. Cops arrived and searched the room, but could not find the ticker. Lafave got combative and tried to get away, but hotel security handcuffed and restrained her. Eventually she admitted to stealing the watch, and to stashing it inside her vagina. Officers got a search warrant and took her to University Medical Center, where the watch was removed. "Prior to medical staff assisting Lafave with the removal of the watch she admitted to them that she had stolen a watch and concealed the item in her vagina," a police report said. Lafave was arrested and faces felony charges grand larceny and possession of stolen property. She was released on $40,000 bail. Her lawyer, Chris Rasmussen, told the Review Journal that she plans on fighting the case, claiming illegal search-and-seizure. "We intend to file a motion to suppress the medical intrusion," he said. "The search is an unreasonable search when medical providers have to use equipment to conduct an invasive procedure to remove what police believe is evidence," he added. Lafave will appear before in court on May 15. She faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted. Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: Copyright Character Dear Webby, about once or twice a year somebody asks you how to make the Copyright character. When you tell them, I nod and think that is easy to remember. Well, I fergot. Can you tell us again, please? Eddie Dear Eddie Turn on your numeric keypad, so that you can type numbers with it, then hold down the ALT key, and type, on the numeric keypad, 169 and let go of the ALT key. If you are on a laptop with embedded numeric keypad instead of a real one on the side, borrow a real keyboard and plug it into a USB port, and use that. If you can't borrow a real keyboard, copy it from here: © Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cooking Ahead A lot of time cooking is spent waiting around for one thing or another to get done. Water needs to boil or the oven needs to heat up. Start working on tomorrow's meal with this time. Freeze or refrigerate prepped ingredients. You will appreciate the head start. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

When my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher to write a story on "Where my family came from." The purpose was to understand your genealogy. I was not aware of her assignment when she asked me at the dining room table one night, "Grandma, where did I come from?" I responded quite nervously because my son and daughter-in- law were out of town and I was stalling until they returned home, "Well, honey, the stork brought you." "Where did Mom come from then?" "The stork brought her, too." "OK, then.... where did you come from?" "The stork brought me too, dear." "Okay, thanks, Grandma." I did not think anything more about it until two days later when I was cleaning Ann's room and read the first sentence of her paper... "For three generations there have been no natural births in our family. We all got dumped by some stork, and he's not talking."
FIVE THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: 5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen." 4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the Time management course you sent me to." 3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time." 2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" AND THE NUMBER ONE THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: 1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."

» Tree Houses

Today in 
0896 - Formosus ended his reign as pope.
1541 - Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general 
 of the Jesuits.
1581 - Francis Drake completed the circumnavigation of the world.
1687 - King James II ordered that his declaration of indulgence 
 be read in church.
1812 - The territory of Orleans became the 18th U.S. state and 
 became known as Louisiana.
1818 - The U.S. flag was declared to have 13 red and white stripes 
 and 20 stars and that a new star would be added for the each 
 new state.
1850 - The city of Los Angeles was incorporated.
1902 - British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in 
 his will that would provide scholarships for Americans to 
 Oxford University in England.
1905 - In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people.
1914 - The first known serialized moving picture opened in 
 New York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline".
1917 - The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I 
 on the Allied side.
1932 - After five years of research, professor C.G. King, 
 of the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C.
1945 - Hungary was liberated from Nazi occupation.
1945 - During World War II, U.S. forces liberated the Nazi 
 death camp Ohrdruf in Germany.
1949 - Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).
1967 - The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam.
1967 - Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned 
 three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week.
1968 - Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of 39.
1969 - Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary 
 artificial heart.
1971 - Veterans stadium in Philadelphia, PA, was dedicated 
 this day.
1975 - More than 130 people, most of them children, were 
 killed when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating 
 Vietnamese orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon.
1979 - Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was 
 executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder 
 a political opponent.
1981 - Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American 
 elected mayor of a major U.S. city, which was 
 San Antonio, TX.
1984 - U.S. President Reagan proposed an international 
 ban on chemical weapons.
1986 - Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th 
 point of the season.
1987 - The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping 
 a U.S. Embassy.
1988 - Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office 
 by the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting 
 state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede an 
 investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness.
1994 - Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) 
 was founded.
1999 - The Colorado Rockies and the San Diego Padres played 
 the first major league season opener to be held in Mexico. 
 The Rockies beat the Padres 8-2. 
2014  smiled.


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Windows Logo key combos 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 3.

Snow has gone from the roofs and all the busier streets,
that have been salted. You can almost smell spring 
in the air!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Illinois man jailed for ignoring child's broken leg to play Grand Theft Auto Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North America was climbed. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. --- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972) God help those who do not help themselves. --- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)
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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Thanks to Dave for this confession: The first prayer I ever learned was "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for this food". Unfortunately, I had also just learned the patty-cake poem. Picture it! A quiet Sunday dinner -- The family asks the youngest child to say grace. He is nervous -- but manages to pray: "God is great, God is good, roll him roll him, throw him in the pan". Oops!
Click on the picture for the large version Snow on my garage roof has melted and built an icicle on the fence. During summer it waters my neighbor's choke-cherry bush.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Luis Matienzo, 19, Chicago, Illinois Illinois man jailed for ignoring child's broken leg to play Grand Theft Auto From the Weekly Vice Luis Matienzo, a 19-year-old Illinois man, was jailed Sunday after he allegedly played a video game for hours while his 2-year-old stepson cried out in pain from a broken leg. According to police, Matienzo was watching his 2-year-old stepson when the child suffered a broken right femur while playing inside a playpen at the home. Matienzo allegedly played the video game "Grand Theft Auto V" for two and a half hours "while knowing that the child was injured with a leg injury, later found to be a broken right leg," according to the arrest affidavit. Investigators say Matienzo later admitted to knowing that the child was injured, but left the boy in his play pen crying because he didn't want to stop playing the video game. He eventually stopped playing when it was time to pick up his wife. That's when the child was brought to a local hospital for medical care. Matienzo was booked into jail and charged with misdemeanor child endangerment. The report did not state how the kid's femur was broken. Tech Support Pits From: Yana Re: Windows Logo key Dear Webby, You told us about Logo + D, and I got that to work. What other logo key combos ar there? Are they any good? Yana Dear Yana There are quite a few more, but they seem to have been made when junior programmers were ordered to come up with some sort of equivalent of the Apple key on Mac keyboards, to give SOME excuse for that extra key. Manufacturers had refused to leave out a key for Windows keyboards, but were quite willing to print a Windows logo on it instead of an apple. Here are the few combos, that are worth remembering: Just the logo: Open the start menu Logo and PAUSE: System Properties Logo and D: Minimize all open windows Logo and D again: Restore windows Logo and M: Minimize open Windows Logo key + Shift + M: Restore windows Logo key and F: search for a file or folder There are more, but I doubt that you will even bother to try them out. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sand And Vinegar For the Inside of Bottles I have used a couple of different methods for cleaning bottles or other hard to reach items. The first one is filling the object with straight, plain vinegar and letting it sit for a day or two. If this does not work then add a bit of sand to the vinegar and shake it really well, repeatedly. If this does not work, I have used denture cleaning tablets. I break one into small enough pieces to drop them into the object being cleaned. Then add warm water and let sit. If it does not get cleaned on the first try then I repeat the process. Both of these methods have worked successfully for me on many different items, such as narrow necked bottles, salt and pepper shakers, vases, etc. By Wylie from Mora, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A neighbor who is always borrowing tools approaches the house next door one Saturday morning. "He won't get away with it this time," the homeowner tells wife. "Watch this," he says, as he opens the door to greet the neighbor. "Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power saw this morning?" the neighbor asks. "Gee, I'm awfully sorry," the man says, with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day." "In that case," says the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs. Mind if I borrow them?"
Consider the case of Frederick II, an 18th-century king of Prussia. Frederick fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was. On one occasion, he is supposed to have interested himself in the conditions of a Berlin prison. He was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners. One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them. Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's curiosity was aroused. "You," he called. "You, there!" The prisoner looked up. "Yes, Your Majesty?" "Why are you here?" "Armed robbery, Your Majesty." "And are you guilty?" "Entirely guilty, Your Majesty. I richly deserve my punishment." At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, "Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail where by example he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it."

» Tree Houses

Today in 
1776 George Washington received an honorary Doctor of Laws 
 degree from Harvard College .
1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill.
1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and 
 Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days. 
 The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half.
1882 The American outlaw Jesse James was shot in the back 
 and killed by Robert Ford for a $5,000 reward. There was 
 later controversy over whether it was actually Jesse James 
 that had been killed.
1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in 
 North America was climbed.
1936 Richard Bruno Hauptmann was executed for the kidnapping 
 and death of the son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh.
1942 The Japanese began their all-out assault on the U.S. 
 and Filipino troops at Bataan.
1948 U.S. President Harry Truman signed the Marshall Plan 
 to revive war-torn Europe. It was $5 billion in aid for 
 16 countries.
1967 The U.S. State Department said that Hanoi might be 
 brainwashing American prisoners.
1985 The U.S. charged that Israel violated the Geneva 
 Convention by deporting Shiite prisoners.
1986 The U.S. national debt hit $2 trillion.
1996 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was arrested.
 He pled guilty in January 1998 to five Unabomber 
 attacks in exchange for a life sentence without 
 chance for parole.
2010 The Wi-Fi version of the Apple iPad went on sale. 
2014  smiled.


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Hide or minimize all open programs 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 2.

Nice sunshine today! Walked downtown to the pharmacy and
back. No puddles, but the sunshine and the wind are 
evaporating the snow quite nicely. The wind is hauling
it to the East. The roofs are bare now, and some of 
the roads too.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk CT woman jailed for driving car into store Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity. More than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church when Israel invaded Bethlehem. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Communication works for those who work at it." --- John Powell
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Donna came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Donna. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." Next week an upset Donna marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Donna," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" John answered, "Mom."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rosa Blanca Chavarria-Medina, 31, of Bridgeport, Connecticut Drunk CT woman jailed for driving car into store From the Huffington Post A Connecticut woman accused of plowing her car into a convenience store at a speed of up to 70 mph and injuring four people has been charged with drunken driving and other crimes. Thirty-one-year-old Rosa Blanca Chavarria-Medina of Bridgeport was charged Monday with driving under the influence and reckless driving, among other things. Police say Chavarria-Medina was exiting Interstate 95 in Fairfield on March 24 when her car smashed into five vehicles outside a Cumberland Farms store and crashed into the storefront. Four people were hospitalized. Police say it's lucky none of the injuries was life-threatening. Authorities say Chavarria-Medina's blood-alcohol level was more than three times the legal limit of .08. Chavarria-Medina posted $5,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Anna Re: Hide all open programs Dear Webby, You mentioned a trick once for hiding, not closing, all open programs to see the icons on the desktop, or to hide what you really are doing, and then unhide them all, when the coast is clear. What is that trick? Anna Dear Anna Hold down the Windos key, and hit the D (for Desktop), It will only bring back all your open stuff, if you don't open anything else before you hhit the same key combo again. It is just a very primitive "Boss" key. If you open some other program once you see your forest of icons, then that key combo will just hide that one too, not unhide what it hid before. Usually it is not a big deal to pull the minimized stuff up from the task bar again. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humacor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Hair Dryer to Clean Wax Off Brass Heat the hard wax on the candelabra with a hair dryer. Then keep mopping up the wax as it melts. By shi from Ireland Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."
The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging remark about the men who had been chatting her up. She laughed gaily, "When I don't want a man's attentions," she confided, "and he asks where I live, I just say, 'I'm visiting here'." "Ha-ha," he laughed, relishing her humor. "Where do you really live?" "I'm just visiting here."

» Spring Scapes

Today in 
1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon sighted Florida. 
 The next day he went ashore.
1792 The U.S. Congress passed the Coinage Act
1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was 
 destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen.
1860 The first Italian Parliament met in Turin.
1865 Confederate President Davis and most of his Cabinet 
 fled the Confederate capital of Richmond, VA.
1872 G.B. Brayton received a patent for the gas-powered 
 streetcar.
1877 The first Egg Roll was held on the grounds of the 
 White House in Washington, DC.
1889 Charles Hall patented aluminum.
1905 The Simplon rail tunnel officially opened. The 
 tunnel went under the Alps and linked Switzerland 
 and Italy.
1910 Karl Harris perfected the process for the 
 artificial synthesis of rubber.
1917 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson presented a declaration 
 of war against Germany to the U.S. Congress.
1935 Sir Watson-Watt was granted a patent for RADAR.
1944 The Soviet Union announced that its troops had 
 crossed the Prut River and entered Romania.
1947 The U.N. Security Council voted to appoint the 
 U.S. as trustee for former Japanese-held 
 Pacific Islands.
1960 France signed an agreement with Madagascar that 
 proclaimed the country an independent state within 
 the French community.
1966 South Vietnamese troops joined in demonstrations 
 at Hue and Da Nang for an end to military rule.
1967 In Peking, hundreds of thousands demonstrated 
 against Mao foe Liu Shao-chi.
1972 Burt Reynolds appeared nude in "Cosmopolitan" magazine.
1982 Argentina invaded the British-owned Falkland Islands. 
 The following June Britain took the islands back.
1984 In Jerusalem, three Arab gunmen wounded 48 people 
 when they opened fire into a crowd of shoppers.
1986 On a TWA airliner flying from Rome to Athens a bomb 
 exploded under a seat killing four Americans.
1987 The speed limit on U.S. interstate highways was 
 increased to 65 miles per hour in limited areas.
1992 Mob boss John Gotti was convicted in New York 
 of murder and racketeering.
1996 Russia and Belarus signed a treaty that created a 
 political and economic alliance.
1996 Lech Walesa resumed his old job as an electrician 
 at the Gdansk shipyard. He was the former Solidarity 
 union leader who became Poland's first post-war 
 democratic president.
2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity. 
 More than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church 
 when Israel invaded Bethlehem. 
2014  smiled.


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32 bit or 64 bit 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 1.

Had 10 inches of fresh snow in the morning
Still snowing lightly out of the orange fog now.
If we get a warm April rain, there will be flooding!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Christopher Reeves, Wearing A Superman T-Shirt, Is Arrested For DUI, Meth Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2010 The U.S. Congress cut Medicare reimbursements to physicians by 21%. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The only paradise is paradise lost. --- Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922) Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. --- Woody Allen (1935 - )
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Let's start with a Classic: A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where the dope dealer next door buries all his dope and money. He might get upset!" A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" asked the wife after a long pause. "Well, yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband. "I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?" "I suppose, if she wanted to" said the ! husband. "Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?" "Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do." "Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too." "Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version All those mysterious little buds are turning into flowers! Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Reeves, 33, Davis County, Utah Christopher Reeves, Wearing A Superman T-Shirt, Is Arrested For DUI, Meth From the Smoking Gun A Utah man named Christopher Reeves was wearing a Superman t-shirt when arrested early today for methamphetamine possession and driving under the influence. The 33-year-old Reeves (seen in the above mug shot) was allegedly speeding and driving erratically around 3 AM when Davis County sheriff's deputies pulled over his vehicle. Reeves, who appeared impaired, was arrested after failing a field sobriety test. A subsequent search of his car turned up a large bag of meth, drug paraphernalia, and the synthetic drug Spice. Charged with narcotics possession, DUI, and other counts, Reeves was booked into the county jail, where he remains locked up in lieu of $15,000 bail. Investigators felt the need to point out that Reeves is not related to Christopher Reeve, the late actor who portrayed Superman in four movies. Reeves also presumably is not related to George Reeves, who played Superman in the 1950s TV series “Adventures of Superman.” He is just a dopey wanna-be. Tech Support Pits From: Lisa Re: 32 bit or 64 bit? Dear Webby, How do I tell if my Windoze is 32 bit or 64 bit? Does it make any difference except when installing programs? Lisa Dear Lisa Hold down the Windows key, and hit the PAUSE/BREAK key. After a while you get a Pop-Up that has that information. Unfortunately, you can't copy the text on it. Some moron at Microsoft wanted to be cutesy and deliberately blocked copying. You CAN hit ALT plus PRINT SCREEN to copy it as a picture, and with CTRL V paste it as a new picture in a graphics program. Yes, I know it is klutzy. Tell Microsoft. If you have a laptop and can't find PAUSE/BREAK, go to my Tool Box at http://webby.com/tools and grab the Belarc Advisor. Just hit CTRL F and type Belarc to find it. The Belarc Advisor produces a total inventory, including that information. It is probably way more than you need, but you can copy / paste the info. The only time you print it out is for insurance inventory or prior to bringing the machine to a shop for repair. The difference between 32 bit and 64 bit shows mostly with games. For browsing, email, word processing and spreadsheet work you probably won't be able to tell the difference. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Machine Oil for Squeaky Hinges A small bottle of machine oil or sewing machine oil is a must for your home tool box. The small pointed spout makes it perfect for putting a drop or two of oil in tight places. Use this to oil hinges. I know there are many home remedies for this but why not be organized and buy the little bottle of oil? Mayonnaise, salad oil, etc. are not really designed for squeaky hinges, even if they work. By Lilac from Springfield, MA Look for a little boottle called "Zoom Spout" at your hardware store. It has a long, thin, flexible pipe for a spout, and can even reach around obstructions. The oil in it's bottle is a bit thicker than sewing machine oil and will last a bit longer on hinges. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Sunday dinner. As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew, Mikey, helping them bake some cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Mikey to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table. The cupcakes look delicious, Mike's uncle said. He took a bite and said, Mikey these are so good! As he finished a cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. "The cupcakes look beautiful, Mikey," his uncle said. "How did you get the icing so neat?" His nephew replied, "It was easy. I just licked them." The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. "You licked all of these?" Mikey replied, "Well no. After a while my tongue got tired, so I got the dog to help."

» Blue Flame

Today in 
0527 Justinianus became the emperor of Byzantium.
1572 The Sea Beggars under Guillaume de la Marck landed in 
 Holland and captured the small town of Briel.
1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation.
1621 The Plymouth, MA, colonists created the first treaty 
 with Native Americans.
1748 The ruins of Pompeii were found.
1778 Oliver Pollock, a New Orleans businessman, 
 created the "$" symbol.
1793 In Japan, the volcano Unsen erupted killing 53,000.
1826 Samuel Mory patented the internal combustion engine.
1853 Cincinnati became the first U.S. city to pay fire 
 fighters a regular salary.
1867 Blacks voted in the municipal election in Tuscumbia, AL.
1867 Singapore, Penang & Malakka became British crown colonies.
1873 The British White Star steamship Atlantic sank off 
 Nova Scotia killing 547.
1881 Anti-Jewish riots took place in Jerusalem.
1889 The first dishwashing machine was marketed in Chicago
1905 Paris and Berlin were linked by telephone.
1924 Adolf Hitler was sentenced to five years in prison 
 for high treason in relation to the "Beer Hall Putsch."
1924 Imperial Airways was formed in Britain.
1927 The first automatic record changer was introduced 
 by His Master's Voice.
1928 China's Chiang Kai-shek began attacking communists.
1929 Louie Marx introduced the Yo-Yo.
1930 Leo Hartnett of the Chicago Cubs broke the altitude 
 record for a catch by catching a baseball dropped from 
 the Goodyear blimp 800 feet over Los Angeles, CA.
1933 Nazi Germany began the persecution of Jews by 
 boycotting Jewish businesses.
1934 Bonnie & Clyde killed 2 police officers.
1935 The first radio tube to be made of metal 
 was announced.
1938 The first commercially successful fluorescent 
 lamps were introduced.
1939 The U.S. recognized the Franco government in Spain 
 at end of Spanish civil war.
1945 U.S. forces invaded Okinawa during World War II. 
 It was the last campaign of World War II.
1948 The Berlin Airlift began.
1952 The Big Bang theory was proposed in "Physical Review" 
 by Alpher, Bethe & Gamow.
1960 France exploded 2 atom bombs in the Sahara Desert.
1960 The U.S. launched TIROS-1, the first weather satellite.
1970 The U.S. Army charged Captain Ernest Medina in the 
 My Lai massacre.
1971 The United Kingdom lifted all restrictions on 
 gold ownership.
1972 North Vietnamese and Viet Cong troops renewed their 
 offensive in South Vietnam.
1973 Japan allowed its citizens to own gold.
1976 Apple Computer began operations.
1979 Iran was proclaimed to be an Islamic Republic by 
 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini after the fall of the Shah.
1982 The U.S. transferred the Canal Zone to Panama.
1985 World oil prices dropped below $10 a barrel.
1986 The U.S. submarine Nathaniel Green ran aground 
 in the Irish Sea.
1987 Steve Newman became the first man to walk around the 
 world. The walk was 22,000 miles and took 4 years.
1991 Iran released British hostage Roger Cooper after 5yrs
1991 The Warsaw Pact was officially dissolved.
1992 Players began the first strike in the 75-year history 
 of the National Hockey League (NHL).
1998 A federal judge dismissed the Paula Jones' sexual 
 harassment lawsuit against U.S. President Clinton saying 
 that the claims fell "far short" of being worthy of a trial.
1999 In Zhytomyr, Ukraine, Anatoliy Onoprienko was sentenced 
 to death for the deaths of 52 men, women and children. 
 43 of the killings occurred in a 6-month period.
1999 The Canadian territory of Nunavut was created. It was 
 carved from the eastern part of the Northwest Territories 
 and covers about 772,000 square miles.
2001 China began holding 24 crewmembers of a U.S. 
 surveillance plane. The EP-3E U.S. Navy crew had made an 
 emergency landing after an in-flight collision with a 
 Chinese fighter jet. The Chinese pilot was missing and 
 presumed dead. The U.S. crew was released on April 11, 2001.
2001 Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic was arrested 
 on corruption charges after a 26-hour standoff with the police 
 at his Belgrade villa.
2003 North Korea test-fired an anti-ship missile off its 
 west coast.
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the Unborn Victims 
 of Violence Act. The bill made it a crime to harm a fetus 
 during an assault on a pregnant woman.
2009 Albania and Croatia joined the North Atlantic Treaty 
 Organization (NATO).
2010 The U.S. Congress cut Medicare reimbursements to 
 physicians by 21%. 
2014  smiled.


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Shut down or Hibernate? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, March 31.
Still snowing. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man who unleashed road rage, prompting the universe to respond appropriately Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the first spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conver- sationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. --- Lisa Kirk
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We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who contacted police working on a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
His wife had just bought a new line of expensive cosmetics absolutely guaranteed to make her looks years longer. She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours applying the "miracle" products. Finally, when she was done, she turned to her husband and said, "Hon, honestly now, what age would you say I am?" He nodded his head in assessment, and carefully said, "Well, hon, judging from your skin, twenty. Your hair, mmmm, eighteen. Your figure, twenty-five." "Oh, you're so sweet!" "Well, hang on, I'm not done adding it up yet."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Yesterday's Bonehead: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeffrey Travis White, Tampa, Floriduh Florida Man Unleashes Road Rage, Universe Responds Appropriately From the Huff Post After a minute of nonstop tailgating by a huge truck, the woman in this video, identified only as "Florida Driver," is passed by the vehicle, whose driver flips her the bird and yells an unintelligible insult. "I couldn't move over because there were trucks in the right lane," Florida Driver writes in the video description, "and I sure as heck wasn't going to speed on a rainy day with the roads being as slick as they were." The videographer, who says she was driving in Tampa, writes that she never mouthed off at the guy, didn't brake check him, and -- except for holding up her phone -- was paying attention to the road. Shortly after flipping the bird, the driver of the truck loses control of his vehicle, spins across a median and through oncoming traffic (though no one was hit). He comes to a rest only after taking out a light pole. According to Florida Driver, "He initially fled the scene of the accident, but thanks to this video he has been caught and charged." In a release obtained by The Huffington Post, Florida Highway Patrol confirmed the driver, identified as Jeffrey Travis White, was later charged with leaving the scene of a traffic crash. "Using information contained in the video provided by the witness, State Troopers located White at his Tampa residence and arrested him for Leaving the Scene of a Traffic Crash, Careless Driving and failing to wear his seatbelt," the FHP release notes. Looks like the only injury was to the light pole, his truck and wallet. And probably his insurance premium. The video is at Instant Karma Tech Support Pits From: Roland Re: Hibernate Laptop Dear Webby, Recall you saying not to shut down lap tops. To put them in Hibernate. Question is will one get the updates. When I was shutting down every now and then I was advised to not shut down or unplug the computer I put my Desk on Hibernate. Roland Der Roland Nothing happens while the computer is in "Hibernate" mode. Just set the update mode to "Ask, but don't install" Then you get prompted to download the installs, and can pick and choose which ones you want. If the update requires a reboot, it will tell you, but you can stall that to a more convenient time. The reason not to completely shut down is to keep the modem warm and your connection alive. If you have a static (permanent) IP number, that is not really critical, but if you have a dynamic one, it can make quite a difference. You can configure hibernation to shut down the hard drive and monitor, and require a password when you wake it up. It is ALMOST shut down that way, but starts up a LOT faster than if you had shut it off. It cuts down on the cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Silica Packets in Bathroom I like to keep silica packets in the bathroom. There is more moisture there than anywhere in your house. You know how sometimes the drawers in your vanity or under the sink storage area gets kind of musty smelling? Keep a few of the little packets in there to control dampness and odor. By golfgranny58 [2] Keep in mind that those cute little Silica packets are made to keep ONE camera or phone dry, ONCE, during initial shipping, not a drawer or vanity in a steamy bathroom, day after day. If you can't arrange for adequate ventilation, use some kitty litter or cake pans filled with sawdust. You can dry those out in the oven and re-use them. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Ed My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill. "Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm that's worth at least $137,000."

» Rare & Exotic Stamps

Today in 
1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain issued the 
 Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were unwilling to convert 
 to Christianity.
1779 Russia and Turkey signed a treaty concerning military 
 action in Crimea.
1831 Quebec and Montreal were incorporated as cities.
1854 The U.S. government signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with 
 Japan. The act opened the ports of Shimoda and Hakotade 
 to American trade.
1880 Wabash, IN, became the first town to be completely 
 illuminated with electric light.
1889 In Paris, the Eiffel Tower officially opened.
1900 In France, the National Assembly passed a law reducing 
 the workday for women and children to 11 hours.
1901 In Russia, the Czar lashed out at Socialist-Revolutionaries 
 with the arrests of 72 people and the seizing of two 
 printing presses.
1904 In India, hundreds of Tibetans were slaughtered by 
 the British.
1905 Kaiser Wilhelm arrived in Tangier proclaiming to support 
 for an independent state of Morocco.
1908 250,000 coal miners in Indianapolis, IN, went on strike 
 to await a wage adjustment.
1909 Serbia accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina.
1917 The U.S. purchased and took possession of the Virgin 
 Islands from Denmark for $25 million.
1918 For the first time in the U.S., Daylight Saving Time 
 went into effect.
1921 Great Britain declared a state of emergency because of 
 the thousands of coal miners on strike.
1932 The Ford Motor Co. debuted its V-8 engine.
1933 The U.S. Congress authorized the Civilian Conservation 
 Corps to relieve rampant unemployment.
1939 Britain and France agreed to support Poland if Germany 
 threatened invasion.
1941 Germany began a counter offensive in North Africa.
1946 Monarchists won the elections in Greece.
1948 The Soviets in Germany began controlling the Western 
 trains headed toward Berlin.
1949 Winston Churchill declared that the A-bomb was the 
 only thing that kept the U.S.S.R. from taking over Europe.
1949 Newfoundland entered the Canadian confederation as 
 its 10th province.
1958 The U.S. Navy formed the atomic submarine division.
1966 An estimated 200,000 anti-war demonstrators march 
 in New York City.
1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the 
 first spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit.
1980 U.S. President Carter deregulated the banking industry.
1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, four of five Indonesian terrorists 
 were killed after hijacking an airplane on March 28.
1986 167 people died when a Mexicana Airlines Boeing 727 
 crashed in Los Angeles.
1989 Canada and France signed a fishing rights pact.
1991 Iraqi forces recaptured the northern city of Kirkuk 
 from Kurdish guerillas.
1994 "Nature" magazine announced that a complete skull of 
 Australppithecus afarensis had been found in Ethiopia. The 
 finding is of humankind's earliest ancestor.
1998 U.N. Security Council imposed arms embargo on Yugoslavia.
2000 In Uganda, officials set the number of deaths linked to 
 a doomsday religious cult, the Movement for the Restoration 
 of the Ten Commandments, at more than 900. 
2004 Google Inc. announced that it would be introducing a 
 free e-mail service called Gmail.
2014  smiled.


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What to do when computer stalls on Facebook 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, March 30.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Jersey man who dumped in police car then ate own finger. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 Rolls-Royce was purchased by BMW in a $570 million deal. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962)
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that a little girl does something wrong and makes her mommy cry or makes her unhappy, one of her hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said: "You muft have really piffed off Grandma a lot!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
>From Donna Upon retiring from the service, my husband, Don, needed a new ID card showing he had gone from active duty to retire- ment status. But the photo taken of him was not particularly good. And he wasn't at all quiet about it. "If I have to carry that ID around with me for the rest of my life," he complained to the photographer, "I want a better picture." "Want a better picture?" asked the photographer defiantly. "Then bring us a better face!"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jargget Washington, 29, Jersey City, NJ Read more at http://www.dreamindemon.com/2012/10/24/ ... Gjlk8sL.99 Jersey man who dumped in police car then ate own finger. Reported by Nikki From the Huff Post Jaggert Washington, pictured in a prior booking photo, allegedly swallowed his own finger after defecating in the back of a police cruiser. Authorities say they found Jargget Washington, 29, nude and belligerent at a Jersey City intersection around 8:00 p.m. on Sunday night. He allegedly "tried pulling a driver out of a car," but the driver managed to fight back, according to the New York Daily News. Police restrained Washington and transferred him to Jersey City Medical Center, where he became increasingly uncontrollable. Washington reportedly spat at officers and chewed on his own wrists, devouring his medical bracelet. Following the evaluation, Washington -- still dressed in a hospital gown -- reportedly defecated in the back seat of a police car as authorities transported him to the Hudson County Jail, the Jersey Journal reports. Once at the jail, Washington chewed off his own finger and swallowed it, according to CBS New York. Washington's questionable snack prompted authorities to return him to the Jersey City Medical Center for re-evaluation. Police suspect that Washington may have taken PCP. New Jersey records show that police arrested Washington twice between 2007 and 2009 on charges surrounding conspiracy to distribute drugs on school property. Washington is charged with carjacking, throwing bodily fluids at law enforcement officers and being under the influence of a controlled dangerous substance. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Computer locks up on Facebook Dear Webby, just got on face book and am having troubles, it causes my computer to lock up and I get not responding notice. I am using XP and IE, I plan on getting a new computer later this year after the fiber-optic line and system is up and running here along the North Shore of Lake Superior in Two Harbors,MN. I was told I could change to Google Chrome and that could help, my question will it help and if I do change will I lose everything in my favorites file and can I switch that and other files over ?? Thanks for any help, read your letter every morning and have learned a lot from it. Jim Dear Jim It is probably just IE choking on some animation. Use CrapCleaner from my ToolBox at http://webby.com/tools. If that does not help use FixCleaner. I doubt that you would be happy with Chrome, but Firefox works very well. That is why more people use FireFox than all other browsers together. Don't be in any rush getting rid of your XP. You will NOT like Windows 8. Guaranteed! The switch from XP to W8 is too bog. XP was a "Get your work done and enjoy it" type OS, while W8 is apparently focused on being weird and forcing you to read instructions. You have to hunt down tips on forums. Forget about getting any work done in the first three months on W8. At least keep the good ol XP on the side. I have heard from a number of people that if you want to get some work done, switch to Linux, just like industry and commerce has done. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Toothpick as Temporary Eyeglass Screw Did you lose the screw from your eyeglasses? Here is a temporary solution to give you time to get to the optical store. Use a toothpick to hold the arm of your glasses on, so you can still wear them. Just poke the pick in the hole and break of ends of pick showing. It works great. In fact, I used it on my sunglasses and forgot for a while that it was there. :) By Sheila [61] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Inez Just after Christmas I received a rather general thank-you note from my sister for the present I had sent her. However, her next letter in mid-March explained that upon receiving my gift, a well taped box of chocolates, she had immediately put it in the freezer because she had already gained about six pounds that Christmas and wanted to avoid temptation. One day in March, having lost the excess weight and craving a chocolate, she went to the freezer, mouth watering in anticipation, opened the box, and discovered the frozen black sequined evening purse I had given her.

» Bunnies & Hares

Today in 
1533 Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon.
1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched 
into Paris.
1822 Florida became a U.S. territory.
1842 Dr. Crawford W. Long performed the first operation while 
 his patient was anesthetized by ether.
1855 About 5,000 "Border Ruffians" from western Missouri 
 invaded the territory of Kansas and forced the election of 
 a pro-slavery legislature. It was the first election in 
 Kansas.
1858 Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil.
1867 The U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million
1870 Texas was readmitted to the Union.
1903 Revolutionary activity in the Dominican Republic 
 brought U.S. troops to Santo Domingo to protect 
 American interests.
1905 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt was chosen to mediate 
 in the Russo-Japanese peace talks.
1909 The Queensboro bridge in New York opened linking 
 Manhattan and Queens. First double decker bridge.
1909 In Oklahoma, Seminole Indians revolted against 
 meager pay for government jobs.
1916 Pancho Villa killed 172 at the Guerrero garrison 
 in Mexico.
1936 Britain announced a naval construction program of 
 38 warships.
1940 The Japanese set up a puppet government called 
 Manchuko in Nanking, China.
1941 The German Afrika Korps under General Erwin Rommel 
 began its first offensive against British forces in Libya.
1944 The U.S. fleet attacked Palau, near the Philippines.
1945 The U.S.S.R. invaded Austria after World War II.
1946 The Allies seized 1,000 Nazis attempting to revive 
 the Nazi party in Frankfurt.
1950 The invention of the phototransistor was announced.
1972 The British government assumed direct rule over 
 Northern Ireland.
1972 The Eastertide Offensive began when North Vietnamese 
 troops crossed into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) in the 
 northern portion of South Vietnam.
1975 As the North Vietnamese forces moved toward Saigon 
 South Vietnamese soldiers mob rescue jets in desperation.
1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded 
 in Washington, DC, by John W. Hinckley Jr. Two police 
 officers and Press Secretary James Brady were also wounded.
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" was bought for 
 $39.85 million.
1998 Rolls-Royce was purchased by BMW in a $570 million deal.
2002 An unmanned U.S. spy plane crashed at sea in the 
 Southern Philippines.
2002 Suspected Islamic militants set off several grenades 
 at a temple in Indian-controlled Kashmir. Four civilians, 
 four policemen and two attackers were killed and 20 
 people were injured.
2014  smiled.


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Computer power cords 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, March 29.

Thank you Farren!

>From Dorothy at AKwildlife.com
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I, too, have been having trouble finding the cursor. 
I read your latest Humor newsletter, made the adjustment, 
and WOW!!!! LOVE IT!

Thanks so much for solving an annoying little problem!!! 
=D>

You're the BEST!
Dorothy

You are most welcome, Dorothy!

I got a stainless steel thermos travel cup with a picture
of a wolf on it from Dorothy about 15 years ago and my dad 
used it every year on our cactus safaris. He is getting too
old to put up with the airport hassles, but the cup is still
in great shape. If you need a pretty, but useful and lasting
gift, go check out Dorothy's sites.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Drunk Motorist Was Wearing Pants As Shirt When Found Passed Out At Wheel Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1973 The last U.S. troops left South Vietnam. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988)
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole he proceeds to splash five balls in a row into the water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course. Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course. One of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?" He responds, "I left my car keys in the bag."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of devotion," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, caressing her marble rolling pin, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."
Click on the picture for the large version Lynx at Banff
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anna Areola-Hernandez, 23, Phoenix, AZ Drunk Motorist Was Wearing Pants As Shirt When Found Passed Out At Wheel An intoxicated Indiana man found passed out in the driver’s seat of his car was in his underwear, had on one sock, and was wearing his pants like a shirt, cops report. Bryan Hill, 24, was behind the wheel of a 2013 Honda yesterday when police found the vehicle blocking traffic, according to an Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department report. As detailed by a cop, Hill, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was “wearing only a t-shirt, underwear and one sock.” The officer added that Hill “did have pants on, but they were on his arms. Both arms were inserted into the legs of his jeans.” Hill was arrested around 4 AM Sunday for public intoxication and obstructing traffic. Hill is locked up without bond in the Marion County jail due to a hold from another county. He is scheduled to appear in court tomorrow morning. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Computer power cords Dear Webby, Are powercords interchangeable? My friend gave his computer to check out, but forgot to give me his power cord. Could I use my power cord instead? I have a cord for a 350V power supply and the power supply for his computer is 250V. Would be okay to switch out power cords? Thanks, Chris Dear Chris yes, sure! Power cords are standard. If you can stuff it into the socket, it will work. Since your household voltage is 110 Volt, it's nice that the cord doesn't start leaking and drooling electrons onto the carpet until 250V or 350V, but any rating from 110V and up is fine. Power cords that have a female plug that looks like this one, and have a male plug that fits the wall socket, can be safely used anywhere in the world. The power supply often has a little red slide switch, sometimes covered with tape, that lets you select the voltage of your country. But if the cord fits, use it. HOWEVER! Keep in mind, that I am only talking about power cords, not Laptop of Notebook powersupplies or chargers. Except in Europe, those are not interchangeable, and using the wrong one can cause very expensive damage, especially on Toshibas. Always make 100% sure that chargers are not mixed up and not left behind in any hotel. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Determining if Spices are Still Good If you find yourself debating on whether to use a spice that doesn't have an expiration date, try these methods to see if they are still good: Look to see if the color is still vibrant. If the spice appears faded, there is a good chance the flavor has faded too. Put a little of the spice in your hand and crush or rub it. If the aroma is no longer strong and the flavor is weak, it is time to buy a new one. Here are a few tips to help keep your spices fresh and usable: Always store herbs and spices in a tightly sealed container. Keep them away from heat, moisture, and direct sunlight. Remember to reseal the container immediately after use. Use a dry measuring spoon and don't sprinkle spices over a steaming pot. This will help prevent caking, which is caused by moisture. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

An elderly gentlemen went in for his annual physical exam. The doctor said, "You're in incredible shape. How old are you again?" The man replied, "I am 78." The doctor exclaimed, "Wow, 78. How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." The man explained, "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. The man sighed, "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."

» SilkWorms

Today in 
1461 Edward IV secured his claim to the English throne by 
 defeating Henry VI’s Lancastrians at the battle of Towdon.
1638 First permanent European settlement in Delaware was 
 established.
1847 U.S. troops under General Winfield Scott took 
 possession of the Mexican stronghold at Vera Cruz.
1848 Niagara Falls stopped flowing for one day due to an 
 ice jam.
1867 The British Parliament passed the North America Act 
 to create the Dominion of Canada.
1901 The first federal elections were held in Australia.
1903 A regular news service began between New York and 
 London on Marconi's wireless.
1906 In the U.S., 500,000 coal miners walked off the job 
 seeking higher wages.
1936 Italy firebombed the Ethiopian city of Harar.

1941 The British sank five Italian warships off the 
 Peloponnesus coast in the Mediterranean.
1943 In the U.S. rationing of meat, butter and cheese 
 began during World War II.
1951 The Chinese reject MacArthur's offer for a truce 
 in Korea.
1951 In the United States, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg 
 were convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage. 
 They were executed in June 19, 1953.
1962 Cuba opened the trial of the Bay of Pigs invaders.
1967 France launched its first nuclear submarine.
1971 Lt. William Calley Jr., of the U.S. Army, was found 
 guilty of the premeditated murder of at least 22 Vietnamese 
 civilians. He was sentenced to life imprisonment. The trial 
 was the result of the My Lai massacre in Vietnam on March 
 16, 1968.
1971 A jury in Los Angeles recommended the death penalty 
 for Charles Manson and three female followers for the 1969 
 Tate-La Bianca murders. The death sentences were later 
 commuted to live in prison.
1973 The last U.S. troops left South Vietnam.

1974 Mariner 10, the U.S. space probe became the first 
 spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. It had been 
 launched on November 3, 1973.
1975 Egyptian president Anwar Sadat declared that he 
 would reopen the Suez Canal on June 5, 1975.
1987 Hulk Hogan took 11 minutes, 43 seconds to pin Andre 
 the Giant in front of 93,136 Wrestlemania III fans at the 
 Silverdome in Pontiac, MI.
1992 Democratic presidential front-runner Bill Clinton said 
 "I didn't inhale and I didn't try it again" in reference 
 to when he had experimented with marijuana. Nobody believed
 him and voted for him anyway.
1993 The South Korean government agreed to pay financial 
 support to women who had been forced to have sex with 
 Japanese troops during World War II.
2004 Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, 
 Slovakia and Slovenia became members of NATO.
2014  smiled.


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Fix a hard to find cursor 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, March 28.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


It is snowing. Really christmassy outside.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Arizona woman posing as a teen and infecting a teen with STD. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Democrat is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other. --- Socratex
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

>From Roland I returned to my parents' home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a man who looked vaguely familiar. "Barbara, remember Rabbi Green?" she asked as she left me in his company. I frantically tried to place him, and suddenly it came to me. He was the kind man who, five years earlier, had officiated at my grandmother's funeral. "It's good to see you again, Rabbi," I said, "though I wish it weren't always under such tragic circumstances." The rabbi looked perplexed but uttered some words of consolation before he was called away. A few minutes later, I rejoined my mother. "Imagine," she whispered, "after all this time, to run into the rabbi who performed your wedding!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're really out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Click on the picture for the large version Secret admirer?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anna Areola-Hernandez, 23, Phoenix, AZ AZ woman lures child into sex, infects him with STD Reported by the Huff Post An Arizona woman accused of convincing a boy she was a teenager and giving him a sexually transmitted disease may have had sex with other minors, police said. Anna Areola-Hernandez, 23, was arrested Thursday and faces charges including sexual conduct with a minor, child molestation, unlawful age misrepresentation, and an adult posing as a minor for sexual conduct, according to AZ Family. Court documents show that Areola-Hernandez had a six-month relationship with a 13-year-old boy she first met at a Phoenix mall. She allegedly told the teen that she was 15-years-old, and had sex with the child several times. In February, the child's mother contacted the police after finding out Areola-Hernandez has lied about her age, and had allegedly given her son an STD. In a call set up by officers, Areola-Hernandez allegedly told the boy's mother that she was pregnant, though police have yet to confirm if this is true. Areola-Hernandez allegedly communicated with the boy through texts, Facebook, and other social media sites under the names "Tiny Hernandez" or "Ana Hernandez," according to AZ Central. Police said the suspect admitted that she had "friended" at least 20 kids online while posing as a teenager, and confessed to having sex with two children. Court documents said Areola-Hernandez showed no remorse when talking about the allegations, and admitted to preferring younger boys, according to My Fox Phoenix. Investigators are now calling on parents whose children may have contacted the woman. "She looks very young, so it would be very easy for her to pass as a teenager," Tracey Breeden of the Glendale Police Department told the station. Areola-Hernandez is being held without bail. All dolled up and on the prowl. Tech Support Pits From: Elaine Re: Hard to see cursor Dear Webby, the only reason my dad has not fired his new laptop out throuh a window is because he has just replaced all windows and know how expensive they are. His problem is that the cursor jumps to weird places and is hard to find. How can that be fixed? Elaine Dear Elaine 1) Give your dad a real mouse, and glue some stiff cardboard, plastic or tin over the silly thumb pad between the keyboard and the near edge of the computer. His thumb hovering too close to the thumb pad sends the cursor to weird places. 2) Go through the control panel to Mouse and pointing devices. In there you can select a more visible cursor. There are also all kinds of third party cursors available, even rainbow colored cursor. 3) While in there, go to POINTER OPTIONS, and put checkmarks onto DISPLAY POINTER TRAILS and onto SHOW LOCATION OF POINTER WHEN I PRESS CTRL KEY The last one produces a target animation wherever the curso is, when CTRL is pressed. The moving circles really help finding the cursor. Naturally, doing all that will be a LOT easier with a real mouse than with the silly thumb pad, that was probably designed by window repair companies. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Toothbrush In Cabinet We have all heard keeping a toothbrush in the vicinity of a flushing toilet is not good, as it can catch what sprays into the air, ick! So, all it takes is a wood bathroom cabinet and cup hooks, problem easily solved. By linda h. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
"One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Here is a famous Classic: A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not o admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and Enter the Kingdom." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff. Next it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snowden, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

» Fishy Stuff

Today in 
1774 Britain passed the Coercive Act against Massachusetts.
1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine.
1834 The U.S. Senate voted to censure President Jackson for 
 the removal of federal deposits from the Bank of the US.
1854 The Crimean War began with Britain and France declaring 
 war on Russia.
1898 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the 
 U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant 
 that they could not be deported under the Chinese 
 Exclusion Act.
1905 The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues.
1908 Automobile owners lobbied the U.S. Congress, supporting 
 a bill that called for vehicle licensing and federal 
 registration.
1910 The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques, 
 France. The pilot was Henri Fabre.
1917 During World War I the Women’s Army Auxiliary Corps 
 (WAAC) was founded.
1922 Bradley A. Fiske patented a microfilm reading device.
1930 Constantinople and Angora changed their names to 
 Istanbul and Ankara respectively.
1933 In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in 
 businesses, professions and schools.
1938 In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of 
 electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental 
 illnesses.
1939 The Spanish Civil War ended as Madrid fell to Francisco 
 Franco.
1941 The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the 
 Battle of Matapan.
1942 British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French 
 port of St. Nazaire.
1945 Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against 
 England.
1947 The American Helicopter Society revealed a flying 
 device that could be strapped to a person's body.
1962 The U.S. Air Force announced research into the use of 
 lasers to intercept missiles and satellites.
1968 The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when 
 it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam 
 claimed that they had shot it down.
1979 A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile 
 Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor 
 overheated and suffered a partial meltdown.
1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, Indonesian terrorists hijacked an 
 airplane. Four of the five terrorists were killed on 
 March 31.
1986 The U.S. Senate passed $100 million aid package for the 
 Nicaraguan contras.
1986 More than 6,000 radio stations of all format varieties 
 played "We are the World" simultaneously at 10:15 a.m. EST.
1991 The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by fire.
1994 Violence between Zulus and African National Congress 
 supporters took the lives of 18 in Johannesburg.
2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal 
 to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit.
2014  smiled.


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Power bar surge protectors 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, March 27.
It is snowing. Really christmassy outside.

The last time the climate was like this, Carl Sagan was 
telling the sheeple that their muscle cars were causing 
an ice age.
Detroit listened and went broke.

Then Al Gore told the sheeple that their cars (not his!)
were causing Gullible Warming.
Detroit listened and went bankrupt.

These crackpots are bad for the economy!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a a NY guy who got 2 DUIs in the same night at the same McDonalds Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in Korea, the original dividing line between the two Koreas. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them." --- Leo Tolstoy
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Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were talking to a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened, and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries screeched: "Get back in there, and don't come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the woman reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman.
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Thanks to Bill for this: My wife and I are both in an Internet business, but she's the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes computers. I finally realized how bad it had gotten, when I was scratching her back one day. "No, not there," she directed. "Scroll down a bit."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Zachary Boynton, 31, Oneonta, N.Y 2 DUIs in the same location, same night Reported by the Huff Post If at first you don't succeed, try try again. It's apparently the unfortunate motto of a New York man who got two DUIs in one night at the same McDonald's parking lot. Early Sunday morning, Zachary Boynton, 31, allegedly drove his car into the back of a vehicle ahead of him in the McDonald's drive-thru in Oneonta, N.Y. He was charged with DWI after troopers say his blood-alcohol content was .25 percent, more than three times the legal limit of .08 percent, the Associated Press reports. Police say he was released to a sober third party, who took him home. About four hours later, Boynton was allegedly back at the same McDonald's and hit the building with a car, before fleeing the scene. Authorities located his newly damaged car outside his home arrested him on another DWI charge, according to WKTV.com. Boynton was taken to a local hospital where he was treated for injuries he sustained in the collision. He was then arraigned at the Town of Oneonta Court, and released to a sober third party, CNYNews.com reports. Tech Support Pits From: Tory Re: Power Strips Dear Webby: 1) I've been told power strips and/or surge protectors wear out and that one should replace them about as often as one does the computer - every 3 yrs if budget allows (grin). True or not? 2. At work, it used to be the practice to use the on/off switch on surge protectors/power strips to turn off computers. "Back when" we were always told it was a lot cheaper to replace a power strip with worn out switch than it was to repair a worn out on/off button on a computer. Then folks started saying that that was a stupid idea, since "how could a surge protector do it's job if it wasn't turned on?". 3) Do you know whether a computer is still protected if the surge protector is turned off? (At home we don't debate this. Since we have a lot of storms, the practice has been to just unplug anything electronic and expensive.) Thanks from a fan! Tory Dear Tory With Windows 7 and 8, you are not supposed to turn the computer off, ever. Big Brother does not like that at all. You may reboot it, or tell it to hibernate, but you are not supposed to turn it off. With Laptops and notebooks you just get nice and smooth battery charging power anyway, and power problems are not supposed to affect it. With Desktops a surge protector or UPS is recommended, and if you do shut them off, you are supposed to do it with your mouse: A proper and slow shut-down. AFTER the computer has been shut down, THEN you can turn off the power strip. Many power strips / surge protectors have a little red light. When that starts to flicker, then the suicide chip in it has died while protecting your equipment. It is still a perfectly good power bar for the basement or garage, but it is no longer a surge protector. Demote it and replace it. When the power strip is turned off, then normally only the ground wire is still connected. That makes it perfectly safe. The white wire is grounded at the breaker panel, and only the black wire can bring in any surges or spikes. When that wire is disconncted at the power strip switch, nothing harmful can get to the computer, unless lightning hits between the computer and the breaker panel. Keep in mind that with modern computers the ON/OF switch is "soft". Shutting the computer down does not completely turn it off. If you open the side cover, you will see a tiny green dot of light on the motherboard. Any surge or spike can kill the power supply instantly. If the machine is out of warranty, then you are out of luck. Your way of unplugging the computer or turning the power strip off during storms or before going on vacation is most definitely a good idea. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mentholatum for Muscle Pain I woke up with a bad lower back pain. I had some rubs in the past but couldn't find them. As I was browsing through my medicine box, there stood out a memorable green jar. Great, if I had a stuffy nose, this would be good. Mentholatum ointment. My mom used to use this on us, when we had a chest cold. I do not know what made me read the label, but the words topical analgesic caught my eye. Wow, this means pain relief! So I tried it. It WORKS. I may not smell that great, but my pain was relieved. By Rita from Springfield, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An Englishman, planning on a visit to Australia, was handed one of those information cards to fill in, in normal Commonwealth style. After the standard questions, like name, nationality, passport number, etc., he got to one that asked, "Have you ever been imprisoned?" After thinking about that for some time, he entered: "I didn't know it was still a requirement."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thoughts from a cowboy "Nobody but cattle know why they stampede and they ain't talking." "Sure you can trust the government. Ask any Indian." "Always drink upstream from the herd." "Never drop your Winchester to hug a grizzly." "If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, best take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there." "If you can't squat with your spurs on, you ain't a real cowboy." "Learn to speak kind words - nobody resents them." "The wild horse can see, hear, and smell a man farther than any other animal . . . except a woman." "Careful is a naked man climbing a barbed wire fence." "Always ride the horse in the direction it's going." "A man is not born a cowboy . . . he becomes one." "Some people grin and bear it. Other people smile and change it." "An old timer is a man who's had a lot of interesting experiences, some of them true." "Every cowboy thinks he knows more than every other cowboy. But the only thing they all know for sure is, when's payday and where's grub." "Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now, if nobody is around, we use our fingers." "Here's all you need to know about cows: They're not smart, they're bigger than you are, and some of them have absolutely no respect for human beings." "Objects in mirrors are dumber than they appear."

» 20 Photostream

Today in 
1794 The U.S. Congress authorized creation of the U.S. Navy.
1802 The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French 
 Revolutionary War.
1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including 
 their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders 
 from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30 
 Texans escaped execution.
1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH.
1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York City.
1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn.
1884 The first long-distance telephone call was made from 
 Boston to New York.
1899 The first international radio transmission between 
 England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor 
 G. Marconi.
1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that 
 gave 35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in South Africa.
1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops.
1912 The first cherry blossom trees were planted in 
 Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan.
1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France’s Legion 
 of Honor decoration.
1933 About 55,000 people staged a protest against Hitler 
 in New York City.
1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at 
 St. Nazaire, France.
1946 Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and 
 General Motors ended with a wage increase.
1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in Korea, 
 the original dividing line between the two Koreas.
1958 Nikita Khrushchev became the chairman of the Soviet 
 Council of Ministers in addition to First Secretary of 
 the Communist Party.
1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the moon.
1976 Washington, DC, opened its subway system.
1993 In China, Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin was 
 appointed President.
1997 Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide 
 strike to protest unpaid wages.
1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug 
 Viagra. It was the first pill for male impotence.
1998 Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, Germany 
 and Britain agreed to create single European aerospace and 
 defense company.
2004 NASA successfully launched an unmanned X-43A jet that 
 hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph).
2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent 
 officiating tool.
2014  smiled.


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How to get a blank page for new tab in FireFox 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, March 26.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Wife Arrested For Trying To Slice Off Husband's Penis With Box Cutter Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of Popeye. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
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When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were waiting in a doctors office a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. A clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" He answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish." Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lisa Jones-Orock, 39, New Castle, Pennsylvania Wife Arrested For Trying To Slice Off Husband's Penis With Box Cutter Reported by The Smoking Gun A Pennsylvania woman is facing an assortment of charges after trying to slice off her husband’s penis with a box cutter during a fight Friday night, police charge. Lisa Jones-Orock, 39, allegedly attacked her husband inside the couple’s New Castle apartment, according to a criminal complaint charging her with felony aggravated assault and three misdemeanors. When cops arrived at the pair’s home, Gerald Orock, 56, was bleeding from cuts on his arms and hands, which, investigators noted, appeared to be defensive wounds. The crotch area of his pants had also been slashed. In an interview with police, Orock stated that, “Lisa tried to cut his penis off with the knife,” reported Corporal Steven Brooks of the New Castle Police Department. Lisa Jones-Orock initially claimed that her spouse had attacked her with a knife. A blue box cutter found on a couch in the couple’s home was seized by officers. Jones-Orock is currently locked up in the Lawrence County Prison in lieu of $5000 bond. Her husband is jailed in the same facility since cops determined that he had violated a protective order barring him from any contact with his wife. Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Firefox blank page on new tab Dear Webby: It's Bill again with another problem. I have been using Firefox for years without a problem. I set my "Home Page" to blank because I don't want to wait while a page downloads. Since the last update to version 28.0, a new window will open with a blank page, but a new tab page opens with "http://www.google.ca/firefox?gfe_rd=cr&ei=vY4xU73QEo-MoAX51YHYBA " in the address bar which opens a Google search page. How can I get the new tab page to open blank like it did before the last update? All the best, Bill Dear Bill Here is what I found: In the upper right corner of the new tab page is a tiny icon that looks like 9 dots in a grid. Click it to go back to using a blank page. Actually, it is a bit lower down nowadays. Look for that about two inches from the top on the right side, and you ONLY get that when you hit the + for a new tab, not CTRL N for a new window. The settings for new Windows remain unchanged. ====== Another possible solution: 1) Type in "about:config" (without the quotes) in the browser address bar and then press enter. 2) Click on the warning "I'll be careful, I promise" and on the next page, type "newtabpage" (without the quotes) in the search box. 3) Double click on browser.newtabpage.enabled preference to change to False. That's it. The New Tab Page will be disabled in Mozilla's FF browser. From now on, you'll be greeted with an empty blank page whenever you open the New Tab. ======= One of those two solutions should do the trick for you. Reverting to previous versions IS possible, though not recommended. Here is Version 26 You may have to UNinstall Firefox to be able to install an older version, otherwise it might tell you, that you already have the newest version. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Soap Wrappers for Scented Clothes Don't throw away your scented soap wrappers. Put Soap Wrappers for Scented ClothesSoap Wrappers for Scented ClothesSoap Wrappers for Scented Clothesthem in your clothes to keep them deliciously fragrant. It helps keep away moths too! By Lucy L. from England Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS COLLECTED BY VINDICTIVE TEACHERS: Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars. The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation. Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle. ----------- Hmmm, I thought that was an obese triangle! ----------- For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth. For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat. For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock. For asphyxiation: apply artificial perspiration until the patient is dead. Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Annabelle In October, the Indians asked their Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter will be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. A week later, being a good leader, he then went to his computer and emailed the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be cold?" Somebody at the National Weather Service responded, "This winter is indeed going to be very cold." So the Chief went back to encourage his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he emailed the National Weather Service again, and asked again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," they replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief went back to his people and ordered them to go out and bring back every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he emailed the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that this winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," they replied, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!" Well, when the winter turned out to be milder than usual, they called it "Global Warming" and blamed Bush. That joke sure did not apply to THIS winter, but is still quite funny. How are they going to blame Bush for the Gullible Warming to fail in spite of an increase in CO2?

» 20 Photostream

Today in 
1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX.
1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine.
1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France.
1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east 
 of the Mississippi to Louisiana.
1804 The Louisiana Purchase was divided into the District 
 of Louisiana and the Territory of Orleans.
1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced 
 the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY.
1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the 
 Sabi Game reserve, was designated.
1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali 
 as shah in place of the constitutional government.
1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907 
 Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists 
 and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S.
1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople.
1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry 
 withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance.
1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a 
 statue of Popeye.
1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria.
1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland.
1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended.
1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when 
 the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska 
 and were intercepted by a U.S. naval force.
1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful 
 satellite, Explorer III.
1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the 
 independent republic of Bangladesh.
1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership 
 and said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) has 
 become inevitable."
1973 Women were allowed on the floor of the London Stock 
 Exchange for the first time.
1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt 
 that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries.
1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union. 
 Boris Yeltsin was elected.
1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and 
 Uruguay signed an agreement that established the Southern 
 Cone Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995.
1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson 
 was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in 
 prison. He only served three.
1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border 
 controls.
1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion 
 loan for Russia to help the country transform its economy.
1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a 
 mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed 
 suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship 
 following behind the comet Hale-Bopp.
1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15 million 
 fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to the U.S. 
 federal government.
1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of 
 second-degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a 
 lethal injection and putting it all on videotape on 
 September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes."
2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a 
 new football arena.
2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected 
 president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to 
 avoid a runoff election. 
2014  smiled.


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Where are the mail attachments in Eudora? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, March 25.

According to the weather page it was only -12. 
Balmy!
I neglected to look at the wind speed.
While it was quite comfortable in the sun while
sheltered from the wind, going against the wind it felt 
more like -22. Nose hairs frozen, mustache frosted.

The sun felt quite nice, and if it keeps getting stronger,
it will eventually beat the snow, that we have been
getting almost every night. Not much, most nights we
got just an inch or so, and during the day the sun trimmed
it back an inch. 

Looks pretty, and many sidewalks are bare by evening.
For tomorrow they predict a heat wave: 0ş, 
but with snow flurries. 
I regret that I did not move further south!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Bozo who was jailed for assault of triple-amputee security guard Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1992 - Soviet cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth after spending 10 months aboard the orbiting Mir space station. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) There are more of them than us. --- Herb Caen
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the schools! --------- What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi? A documentary. ---------- Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK, Ummmmmm.....five?" ------------ Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out? Does God have bad grammar?"
Click on the picture for the large version Lighthouse-Lake-Michigan
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jacaree J.J. Keith, 20, North Houston, Texas Jailed for assault of triple-amputee security guard Reported by Chron A north Houston man accused of trying to run over a triple- amputee security guard is in jail on $30,000 bond. Jacaree Jarrod James Keith, 20, is charged with aggravated assault in a Feb. 24 incident at an apartment building for people with disabilities near East Tidwell and the North Freeway. According to court records, the security guard saw a man identified as Keith trespassing on the property in a car. The guard, Joseph Montemayor, tried to take a picture of Keith's vehicle license plate because the property management had given him a trespass warning in December, records state. Montemayor, who is active in wheelchair sports, said he works part-time at the building where he also lives. "I work outside in the front, to make sure everything stays nice and quiet," he said Wednesday by phone. The 47-year-old guard told investigators that Keith drove at him at a very fast speed and came within one foot of running over him, according to the arrest warrant. "I couldn't believe he was really doing that," Montemayor said Wednesday. "He started from one end of the complex and came full blast, at least 60 or 70 yards. He flew over the speed bump, I can tell you that." According to the arrest warrant, Keith jumped out of the car and allegedly threatened that he was going to break the guard's neck or kill him. Montemayor used his motor-assisted wheelchair to go to the apartment office, with the defendant following and still yelling that he was going to kill him, records state. A maintenance worker at the apartments blocked Keith from coming inside the office, telling him he was not allowed, the warrant states. When the manager asked the maintenance man to take a picture of Keith's license plate, the defendant got back in his car, put it in reverse and allegedly tried to run over the maintenance worker, also coming within a foot of hitting him. Additional witnesses told police the defendant was intentionally trying to run over both men, records state. In investigating the allegation, police discovered an open assault case against Keith from a Nov. 17 incident at the same apartment building, records state. In the earlier case, Keith allegedly tried to choke his girlfriend, who is the mother of his child, according to the arrest warrant. The woman told police he choked her to the point that she couldn't breathe, the warrant states. The woman's mother told police she heard her daughter and the defendant arguing in a bedroom. When the older woman pushed the door open, she saw the defendant with both his hands around her daughter's neck, records state. With her daughter unable to breathe, the mother began hitting Keith in the back. He eventually let go and went outside, according to the warrant. When the mother locked the door, Keith said he was going to break the window to get back in. A witness outside who heard Keith threaten to break the window told him she would call the police if he did, records state. He walked up to her and began punching her in the chest, saying, "I'll break you neck," and she walked away. When the mother opened the door, Keith went back inside the apartment and took the daughter's phone, hanging up the 911 call she had placed to police. He also began choking the daughter again, records state. When police arrived, Keith ran out of the apartment, according to the arrest warrant. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Where are Attachments in Eudora? Dear Webby, So good to get your humor letter again. So many thanks. Now I am looking for information again. I know a guy who is using Eudora. Do to circumstances beyond his control, he had to get a new machine and it is loaded with Windows 7. Now everything is good, except.......... With XP, he had a folder where all attachments went and another for embedded. Were these folders dropped by Windows or just really well hidden. Can't seem to find them anywhere. Thanks again, Jim Dear Jim Normally they are in the Eudora folder. I always put Eudora into E:\Alpha\Eudora. You can put Eudora anywhere you want. That just has been my preference since 1993. And in there is a folder for Attachments and one for Embedded. The Attachments folder can be anywhere. You can set it in the 8th panel in Tools, Options. Those I usually put onto the external drive. Embedded usually stays in the Eudora folder. Theoretically you CAN put it elsewhere by designating that in the INI file. That is what was originally used instead of a central Registry. Each program had it's own plain text INI file. Unless you don't want to have it in the C: drive, or wherever you have Eudora, just leave it there. You can hover the mouse over an attachment and watch the status line at the bottom. It will tell you WHERE that attachment is. The EMBEDDED folder will be in the same neighborhood. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Pictures from Wallpaper Borders Cut pictures out of wallpaper borders and apply to walls or garbage cans (wherever you want) to spice up your rooms. I sponged blue over white walls in my bathroom and cut fish out of a wallpaper border to create an underwater scene. Very cute and easy as the border is already pre-pasted. By Nikki Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Nina In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms. An elderly woman hesitatnly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the neccessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital. "Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this has taken so long, I'm not sure if she is still alive."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and both you and your wife were unconscious so I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and said, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband said, "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew."

» 20 Superbowl Puppy

Today in 
0421 - The city of Venice was founded.
1306 - Robert the Bruce was crowned king of Scotland.
1409 - The Council of Pisa opened.
1609 - Henry Hudson left on an exploration for 
 Dutch East India Co.
1634 - Lord Baltimore founded the Catholic colony 
 of Maryland.
1655 - Puritans jailed Governor Stone after a military 
 victory over Catholic forces in the colony of Maryland.
1669 - Mount Etna in Sicily erupted destroying Nicolosi. 
 20,000 people were killed.
1700 - England, France and Netherlands ratify the 
 2nd Extermination Treaty.
1753 - Voltaire left the court of Frederik II of Prussia.
1774 - English Parliament passed the Boston Port Bill.
1776 - The Continental Congress authorized a medal for 
 General George Washington.
1807 - The first railway passenger service began in England.
1807 - British Parliament abolished the slave trade.
1813 - The frigate USS Essex flew the first U.S. flag in 
 battle in the Pacific.
1820 - Greece freedom revolt against anti Ottoman attack
1821 - Greece gained independence from Turkey.
1856 - A. E. Burnside patented Burnside carbine.
1857 - Frederick Laggenheim took the first photo of a solar 
 eclipse.
1865 - The SS General Lyon at Cape Hatteras caught fire and 
 sank. 400 people were killed.
1879 - Japan invaded the kingdom of Liuqiu (Ryukyu) Islands, 
 formerly a vassal of China.
1895 - Italian troops invaded Abyssinia (Ethiopia).
1900 - The U.S. Socialist Party was formed in Indianapolis.
1901 - The Mercedes was introduced by Daimler at the 
 five-day "Week of Nice" in Nice, France.
1902 - In Russia, 567 students were found guilty of "political 
 disaffection." 95 students were exiled to Siberia.
1905 - Rebel battle flags that were captured during the 
 American Civil War were returned to the South.
1905 - Russia received Japan's terms for peace.
1907 - Nicaraguan troops took Tegucigalpa, the capital of Honduras.
1909 - In Russia, revolutionary Popova was arrested on 
 300 murder charges.
1911 - In New York City, 146 women were killed in fire at the 
 Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York City. The owners of 
 the company were indicted on manslaughter charges because 
 some of the employees had been behind locked doors in the 
 factory. The owners were later acquitted and in 1914 they 
 were ordered to pay damages to each of the twenty-three 
 families that had sued.
1915 - 21 people died when a U.S. F-4 submarine sank off 
 the Hawaiian coast.
1919 - The Paris Peace Commission adopted a plan to protect 
 nations from the influx of cheap foreign labor.
1931 - The Scottsboro Boys were arrested in Alabama.
1940 - The U.S. agreed to give Britain and France access to 
 all American warplanes.
1941 - Yugoslavia joined the Axis powers.
1941 - The first paprika mill was incorporated in Dollon, SC.
1947 - A coalmine explosion in Centralia, IL, killed 111 people.
1947 - John D. Rockefeller III presented a check for $8.5 million 
 to the United Nations for the purchase of land for the site of 
 the U.N. center.
1953 - The USS Missouri fired on targets at Kojo, North Korea.
1954 - RCA manufactured its first color TV set and began 
 mass production.
1957 - The European Economic Community was established with 
 the signing of the Treaty of Rome.
1960 - A guided missile was launched from a nuclear powered 
 submarine for the first time.
1965 - Martin Luther King Jr. led a group of 25,000 to the 
 state capital in Montgomery, AL.
1970 - The Concorde made its first supersonic flight.
1972 - Bobby Hull joined Gordie Howe to become only the 
 second National Hockey League player to score 600 career 
 goals.
1975 - King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot to death by 
 a nephew. The nephew, with a history of mental illness, 
 was beheaded the following June.
1982 - Wayne Gretzky became the first player in the NHL to 
 score 200 points in a season.
1983 - The U.S. Congress passed legislation to rescue the U.S. 
 social security system from bankruptcy.
1986 - U.S. President Ronald Reagan ordered emergency aid for 
 the Honduran army. U.S. helicopters took Honduran troops to 
 the Nicaraguan border.
1990 - A fire in Happy Land, an illegal New York City social 
 club, killed 87 people.
1990 - Estonia voted for independence from the Soviet Union.
1991 - Iraqi President Saddam Hussein launched a major 
 counter-offensive to recapture key towns from Kurds in 
 northern Iraq.
1992 - Soviet cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth after 
 spending 10 months aboard the orbiting Mir space station.
1993 - President de Klerk admitted that South Africa had built 
six nuclear bombs, but said that they had since been dismantled.
1995 - Boxer Mike Tyson was released from jail after serving 
 3 years.
1996 - An 81-day standoff by the antigovernment Freemen began 
 at a ranch near Jordan, MT.
11998 - A cancer patient was the first known to die under 
Oregon's doctor-assisted suicide law.
1998 - The FCC nets $578.6 million at auction for licenses 
 for new wireless technology.
2004 - The U.S. Senate voted (61-38) on the Unborn Victims 
 of Violence Act (H.R. 1997) to make it a separate crime 
 to harm a fetus during the commission of a violent 
 federal crime.
2014  smiled.


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His Windows 8 was messed up 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, March 24.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Teacher jailed for messing with her student Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1960 A U.S. appeals court ruled that the novel, "Lady Chatterly’s Lover", was not obscene and could be sent through the mail. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. --- Mike Myers - More quotations on: [Advertising] Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)
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Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer." "I don't have to." The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
Weird and not yet repealed laws: CALIFORNIA It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. Women may not drive in a house coat. FLORIDA It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. OHIO Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. KANSAS Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. No one may catch fish with his bare hands. OKLAHOMA Violators can be arrested and/or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. State law prohibits anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger. ALABAMA It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (Really) NEW YORK It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
Thanks to Noella for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Emily Nesbit, Silver Spring TWP, Pa. Teacher jailed for messing with her student. Reported by the weekly Vice Emily Nesbit, a 31-year-old English teacher at Cumberland Valley High School, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to police, an investigation was launched last week after a female student noticed text messages of a sexual nature between Nesbit and an 18-year-old male student on the student's mobile phone. During interviews with Nesbit and the student, it was learned that a relationship developed when the pair began text messaging sexually explicit material to one another which included nude or partially nude photographs. The relationship reportedly began in early February and continued until March 10. Investigators say Nesbit and the student began meeting in her classroom a "couple of times per week" where Nesbit allegedly engaged in a sexual act with the student. Both Nesbit and the student have admitted to engaging in sexual acts. Although the student is of legal age to consent to a sexual relationship, an amendment went into effect in February 2012 which prohibits teachers and persons placed in a position of trust from engaging in sexual acts with students regardless of the student's age. Nesbit was removed from the classroom after school administrators learned of the allegations and Nesbit resigned her teaching position on Wednesday. She then surrendered herself to authorities and waved her right to a preliminary hearing. Nesbit was booked into jail and charged with institutional sexual assault. She was released after posting $100,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Windows 8 messed up Dear Webby, I need help webby, My daughter uses 7 and I have 8. She used my L P and changed some settings that I don't like. She changed my curser into a pencil that's so small that I have a hard time seeing it. 2, She did something with my drop-down bar. Now I have just a little one that takes me to last visited sights only. 3: when I get on craigslist and go to a page and open an add I cannot close it without sending me back to the main page and have to open it again. she can't figure it out, and I don't don't want to take it into a shop and pay$$ that I don't have to fox it with a few clicks. enlighten me ? Frank PS: Please excuose the spelling, I'm coming off 3or4 days of withdrawels form NOT READING your wisdom and humer. M Dear Frank I haven't got a clue about what she did, since I stay very, very far away from Windoze 8, and she is too shy to tell me what she did. Why don't you crank up Skype, so that you can call for free and hands-free, and call Microsoft Support? They claim that they support Windows 8. Yes, they really do! Give them a chance to prove that they do. With Skype you can use a desktop microphone and your speakers for truly hands free calling. I don't think you have to reboot to fix any of that, so it should not be necessary to call them on a landline. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Extra Fast Food Napkins When eating out at fast food restaurants, we are usually given too many napkins that end up in the trash. Now we fold them up and take them with us. They end up in the car for kid clean up, in the purse for emergencies, on the vanity for makeup removal, in the kitchen as a substitute for paper towels or on the table as - surprise - napkins. I'm sure you can come up with lots of places to use these leftover napkins. We never let them go to waste. Source: We have been doing this for several years now. By marchall from San Juan, Puerto Rico Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A four-year-old was showing a little friend the family photos that covered one wall in their basement. Out of sight but not out of earshot, her mother overheard her say, "Here's a picture of my mommy when she was a little girl. I wasn't there, but people say she used to be nice."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother Dustin was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance. "If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower." Dustin grimmaced. "That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."

» 20 Great Inventions Until...:

Today in 
1550 France and England signed the Peace of Boulogne.
1629 The first game law was passed in the American 
 colonies, by Virginia.
1664 A charter to colonize Rhode Island was granted to 
 Roger Williams in London.
1720 In Paris, banking houses closed due to financial crisis.
1765 Britain passed the Quartering Act that required the 
American colonies to house 10,000 British troops in public 
 and private buildings.
1828 The Philadelphia & Columbia Railway was authorized as 
 the first state owned railway.
1832 Mormon Joseph Smith was beaten, tarred and feathered 
 in Ohio.
1837 Canada gave blacks the right to vote
1848 A state of siege was proclaimed in Amsterdam.
1878 The British frigate Eurydice sank killing 300.
1880 The first "hail insurance company" was incorporated in 
 Connecticut. It was known as Tobacco Growers’ Mutual 
 Insurance Company.
1882 In Berlin, German scientist Robert Koch announced the 
 discovery of the tuberculosis germ (bacillus).
1883 The first telephone call between New York and Chicago
1900 In New Jersey, the Carnegie Steel Corporation was formed.
1904 Vice Adm. Tojo sank seven Russian ships as the Japanese 
 strengthened their blockade of Port Arthur.
1905 In Crete, a group led by Eleutherios Venizelos claimed 
 independence from Turkey.
1906 In Mexico, the Tehuantepec Istmian Railroad opened as a 
 rival to the Panama Canal.
1906 The "Census of the British Empire" revealed that England 
 ruled 1/5 of the world.
1911 In Denmark, penal code reform abolished corporal punishment.
1920 The first U.S. coast guard air station was established at 
 Morehead City, NC.
1924 Greece became a republic.
1927 Chinese Communists seized Nanking and break with Chiang 
 Kai-shek over the Nationalist goals.
1934 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed a bill granting 
 future independence to the Philippines.
1938 The U.S. asked that all powers except the US help refugees 
 fleeing from the Nazis.
1944 In Rome, The Gestapo rounded up innocent Italians and shot 
 them to death in response to a bomb attack that killed 32 German 
 policemen. Over 300 civilians were executed.
1946 The Soviet Union announced that it was withdrawing 
 its troops from Iran.
1954 Britain opened trade talks with Hungary.
1955 The first seagoing oil drill rig was put into service.
1960 A U.S. appeals court ruled that the novel, 
 "Lady Chatterly’s Lover", was not obscene and could be 
 sent through the mail.
1972 Great Britain imposed direct rule over Northern Ireland.
1976 The president of Argentina, Isabel Peron, was deposed 
 by her country's military.
1980 In San Salvador, Archbishop Oscar Arnulfo Romero was 
 shot to death by gunmen as he celebrated Mass.
1985 Thousands demonstrated in Madrid against the NATO 
 presence in Spain.
1988 Former national security aides Oliver L. North and 
 John M. Poindexter and businessmen Richard V. Secord and 
 Albert Hakim pled innocent to Iran-Contra charges.
1989 The Exxon Valdez spilled 240,000 barrels (11 million 
 gallons) of oil in Alaska's Prince William Sound after it 
 ran aground.
1989 The U.S. decided to send humanitarian aid to the 
 Contras.
1990 Indian troops left Sri Lanka.
1991 The African nation of Benin held its first presidential  
 elections in about 30 years.
1993 In Israel, Ezer Weizman, an advocate of peace with 
 neighboring Arab nations, was elected President.
1995 Russian forces surrounded Achkoi-Martan. It was one of 
 the few remaining strongholds of rebels in Chechenia.
1997 The Australian parliament overturned the world's first and 
 only euthanasia law.
1998 In Jonesboro, AR, two young boys open fire at students 
 from woods near a school. Four students and a teacher were 
 killed and 10 others were injured. The two boys were 11 and 
 13 years old cousins.
1999 NATO launched air strikes against Yugoslavia (Serbia, 
 Montenegro, Kosovo and Vojvodina). The attacks marked the 
 first time in its 50-year history that NATO attacked a 
 sovereign country. The bombings were in response to Serbia's 
 refusal to sign a peace treaty with ethnic Albanians who 
 were seeking independence for the province of Kosovo.
1999 The 7-mile tunnel under Mont Blanc in France was an 
 inferno after a truck carrying flour and margarine caught 
 on fire. At least 30 people were killed.
2001 Apple Computer Inc's operating system MAC OS X went on sale.
2005 The government of Kyrgyzstan collapsed after opposition 
 protesters took over President Askar Akayev's presidential 
 compound and government offices.
2006 In Spain, the Basque separatist group ETA announced a 
permanent cease-fire.
2014  smiled.


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Sending mail via neighbor's WiFi 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, March 23.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Woman, who showed up naked and drunk to visit husband in jail Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. --- e e cummings (1894 - 1962) When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. --- P. J. O'Rourke That's how we got the CAN SPAM act.
Fix, Clean and Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs Rated 5 Cows at Tucows!

>From Don A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the Husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. Owing to the sensitive nature of the situation...they all agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from. After the surgery everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than ever ! All his Friends and relatives raved about his youthful appearance, especially his mother! One day, while alone with his wife, and overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?' 'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
About a year ago, a friend, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?" Brent asked. "They talk funny." "Everybody talks in different ways," she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Maura Fussell, 26, Reston, VA Woman Shows Up Naked And Drunk To Visit Husband In Jail Reported by the Huff Post A Reston, Va., woman faces indecent exposure and public drunkenness charges after she allegedly showed up to visit her husband in Arlington County Jail wearing only her birthday suit. Maura Fussell's husband had been arrested earlier Saturday. Police said Fussell came to visit her husband during the evening, but they aren't sure if she showed up naked, or merely disrobed upon arriving at the Arlington Magistrate's Office. One thing was clear: Officers said she was pretty drunk. When she refused to get dressed, the cops gave the 26 year old woman a choice: Let them call her a cab home, or spend the night in jail. She took the latter. “Our officers frequently give these people an opportunity to take a cab. They frequently don’t want to do that,” Arlington Police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck told the Washington Post. Fussell and her hubby, who has not been identified, were released Sunday. There was a St. Patrick's bar crawl held in the area on Saturday. Although they couldn't say for sure, police think the woman's actions may have been linked to the revelry. “Anybody who was in Clarendon that afternoon was participating one way or the other," Sternbeck said. Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: No mail going out via neighbor's wireless Dear Webby, I don't know whether it is the same problem, but MY mail won't go out when I try to send it on my neighbor's wireless connection. My technician says it is because the wireless system does not recognize my (landline) configuration. However, I do not understand why I cannot get my bank's website. (????) I just figured that tomorrow I'll get onto my sister's wireless connection with her computer. (I AM ON VACATION.) M Dear Mary You have to change the SMTP server name in your mail config to show the SMTP server normally used by your neighbor's computer. For example, if your neighbor connects to the net via earthlink, then you would have to set the SMTP server name to smtp.earthlink.net. The only way around that is to use SMTP2GO. When you use that, then it makes no difference from where you are sending mail. Even the WiFi at McDonalds or the airport will work just fine. Your bank probably uses a similar verification scheme. You will have to contact the bank via phone and ask them what to do to get back in. You MIGHT have to dump some cookies. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sterilize the Barbecue Grill This is a grilling tip. I've heard that people will grill in the spring, and everyone gets ill. This tip should stop that. Every time my husband starts up the grill, he puts it through what he calls a "sterilization process." We have never become ill. After your coals are heated up, and you spread them out, close the grill cover about ten minutes or so, it allows the grill to become hot. Keep the vent open during this time, so the charcoal gets oxygen, and can stay hot. Then, take a scrubber brush, and scrub the grill grates clean. Leave this to heat a few minutes before putting any meat on the grill. We have never become ill from grilled meat this way, and we do this every time we grill. Source: The source is ours. My husband learned it from his daddy. By Carol L. from SouthBend, IN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A synagogue had just opened for business, while at the same time a Catholic church opened across the street. After some time, the Rabbi noticed that a convent had been added to the church. More time later a Catholic school was built, then a gymnasium. The Rabbi called together his staff and expressed his concern, "We've been here the same amount of time as our neighbors and look, they have grown, while we still have our same small temple. What are we doing wrong?" And so it was decided, they would send Morris to attend a service on Sunday and check out what was going on over there. Sunday came and all the men from the congregation were peeking through the windows as Morris entered the church. Not 15 minutes later, Morris came flying across the street, yelling and waving his arms. "So what happened?" asked the Rabbi. "Oy, you wouldn't believe it," said Morris. "I go into the church, I sit down, then from the left a guy in a dress comes out onto the stage and he's chanting, 'I can play dominoes better than you can. I can play dominoes better than you can.' Then from the right of the stage comes some young boys swinging incense, followed by another guy in a dress who starts chanting, 'I bet you don't. I bet you don't.' Then back and forth they go, 'I can play dominoes better than you can. I bet you don't.' Then from out of the back four men in black suits come down the aisles and pick up the bets!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

This is an ancient joke, still funny, though. A woman walked into an empty Moscow shop. I see you have no vegetables today." "No", said the shopkeeper, "this is a butcher shop. It's meat we haven't got. The shop with no vegetables is further down the street."

» Napa Valley

Today in 
1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy.
1066 The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet 
 took place.
1657 France and England formed an alliance against Spain.
1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, 
 "give me liberty, or give me death!"
1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine.
1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark reached the Pacific coast, 
 and began their return journey to the east.
1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain.
1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale.
1839 The first recorded use of "OK" [oll korrect] 
 was used in Boston's Morning Post.
1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken.
1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence of Austria.
1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger 
 elevator in a public building. It was at the corner 
 of Broome Street and Broadway in New York City.
1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar.
1861 London's first tramcars began operations.
1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The 
 mill increased flour production by 70 percent.
1881 The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending 
 the first Boer war.
1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white 
 colonization.
1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now 
 famous toast.
1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British 
 concentration camps in South Africa.
1902 In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised 
 from 9 to 12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls.
1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent.
1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole.
1909 Theodore Roosevelt began an African safari sponsored 
 by the Smithsonian Institution and National Geographic 
 Society.
1912 The Dixie Cup was invented.
1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to 
 French President Poincare.
1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence.
1919 Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political 
 movement in Milan, Italy.
1920 Britain denounced the U.S. because of their 
 delay in joining the League of Nations.
1921 Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when 
 he safely jumped from 24,400 feet.
1922 The first airplane landed at the U.S. Capitol 
 in Washington, DC.
1925 The state of Tennessee enacted a law that made it 
 a crime for a teacher in any state-supported public 
 school to teach any theory that was in contradiction 
 to the Bible's account of man's creation.
1932 In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established 
 workers' right to strike.
1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. 
 The act effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial 
 legislative powers.
1934 The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the 
 Philippines in 1945.
1936 Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome.
1942 The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands.
1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began 
 evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes 
 to concentration camps.
1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars 
 in a surprise attack in Korea.
1956 Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was 
 still within the British Commonwealth.
1956 Sudan became independent.
1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons.
1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from 
 Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John 
 W. Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3.
1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100 
 people were killed.
1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam 
 War the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement.
1970 Mafia "Boss" Carlo Gambino was arrested for plotting 
 to steal $3 million.
1972 The U.S. called a halt to the peace talks on Vietnam 
 being held in Paris.
1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully 
 jumping 35 cars.
1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, 
 left Panama for Egypt.
1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory 
 rape a crime for men but not women.
1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development 
 of technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal 
 became known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and 
 "Star Wars."
1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was 
 ordered to help clean up Prince William Sound and 
 pay $50,000 in restitution for the 1989 oil spill.
1993 U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had 
 been registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere.
1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey League 
 (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal.
1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential elections.
1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish 
 foundations as restitution for Nazi looting.
1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet.
1998 The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy Awards.
1998 The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase 
 the American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The 
 merger created the largest English-language book-publishing 
 company in the world.
1999 NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal 
 approval for air strikes against Serbian targets.
2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station plunged into the 
 South Pacific after its 15-years of use.
2014  smiled.


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How to copy the Eudora Address book to a new machine 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, March 19.
Thank you Jim!

Today I have to go to Calgary for more injections 
into my eyeballs. That means tomorrow evening I won't 
be sending out the Thursday newsletters. 
The same goes for Thursday and Friday.
Saturday evening I will be sending out the Sunday 
newsletters.

Dianne skyped me about a Calgary CTV news item about some
scammy emails pretending to be from a fake pinterest friend
with a link, that leads to malware.

My reacion was "Yeah, so what? Mailwasher takes care of 
that crap, unseen, on the server."
So she told me that not everybody is as well protected as 
I am. 
True, I lead a very sheltered life.

OK, so if you do get any emails claiming to be from a friend
or family member, especially if that friend or family member
is not clearly identified, dump it!

The same goes for emails from people you know, but with the
mail being a bit odd. If for example "Bill" usually writes 
a nice and friendly paragrah, but you get a mail from him 
with just a link, dump it or at least write to him and ask
if HE sent that, or if it had been sent by a hacker, who got
his address book. If he has a Yahoo or SNCglobal address,
expect that about once a month.

Mailwasher for examplpe shows this:
Anexo:FOTO99.JPG 
[links to www.i-fds.co.jp/libraries/pear/FOTO99.zip](471KB)
 Fotos da câmera.
And automatically marks it for deletion. It knows that 
FOTO99.JPG must be evil crap.

Not just MailWasher, but also some email programs like Eudora 
show you the underlying links, that for example what pretends
to be a link to "Mom's recipes" actually goes to some long
address in Russia or Japan. You may have to hover the 
mouse over a link and watch the bottom bar on the email program. 
Whenever you spot any discrepancies there, dump it. 

The less protected you are, the more careful you have to be.

And put Mailwasher onto your Birthday or Santa list.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Tennessee man, who got stuck trying to crawl under an occupied Woman's bathroom stall at a McDonalds Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 eggs in Yokohama, Japan. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900),
Fix, Clean and Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs Rated 5 Cows at Tucows!

>From Jim Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. So, he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end." "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river." The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Doug slips away, she says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property". Sarah replies, "Property? .... he had a paper route!"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
>From Jean My boss phoned me today. He said "Is everything OK at the office ?" I said "It is all under control. It's been a very busy day. I haven't stopped to take a break all day." "Can you do me a favor" he asked. I said "Of course, What is it?" "Pick up the pace a little. I'm in the foursome behind you!" ------------- Some day I would like to get a job like that!
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ronald Henderson, 28, Memphis, Tennessee Creep Arrested For McDonald's Bathroom Breach Reported by the Smoking Gun A Tennessee man who tried to crawl into an occupied stall in a McDonald’s women’s bathroom was thwarted when he got stuck under a partition, according to cops who yesterday arrested him for the creepy intrusion. Police report that Jasmin Johnson was using the toilet inside the Memphis restaurant last Thursday afternoon when Ronald Henderson, 28, entered the bathroom and “crawled under… the stall.” Upon spotting Henderson, Johnson screamed at him to leave the restroom. But Henderson continued trying to breach the stall, grabbing at Johnson’s leg “until he got stuck,” according to a criminal complaint. Johnson was then able to escape the McDonald’s bathroom. Henderson, pictured in the abovet mug shot, was filmed by a store surveillance camera following Johnson into the women’s restroom. Additionally, Johnson was able to identify Henderson at the scene, and later picked him out from a photo spread. Charged with assault and observation without consent, Henderson was booked yesterday into the Shelby County jail, where he is locked up in lieu of $100 bond. He was scheduled for arraignment this morning on the two misdemeanor counts. Tech Support Pits From: JH Re: Problem sending email Dear Webby Greetings to you and hope all is well. Still a big fan of yours, but need a little help again. I installed Eurdora on my laptop, should have done that a year ago, but my old age didn't tell me to do so until I got home from my trip to warmer climates. All is well but for 2 little problems. First I can check my email and it will download. Not a problem. I am unable to send. I think I missed a password somewhere and it won't allow me to send. Can you tell me where to go to take care of this problem. Secondly, is there a way to import my address book from my PC to my laptop? Hope you can help me. thanks jh Dear JH The SEND server name, called SMTP Server Name, is often different from the POP server name. Ask RoadRunner what they want you to use for the SMTP Server Name, and if the user name and password are the same as for checking email. With RR they are sometimes different. Then in Eudora, Tools, Options scoot down to the 4th panel "SENDING EMAIL" and put that info in there for the SMTP information.. If you want to send while you are at McDonalds or any place with a public WiFi, get yourself a free SMTP2GO account at http://webby.com/smtp2go Then you just use your SMPTP2GO SMTP, no matter where you are, even if you are in Verizon or Sprint territory. For the address book, just find the directory where Eudora is on the desktop machine and look for these files: nndbase.txt nndbase.toc These files are your default address book. Also look for a Nickname folder. If you have one, copy whatever you find in there onto the laptop, into the same folder. If you don't have a Nickname folder yet, make one. Eudora does not need any fancy mucking about in the Registry for that. Just copy the files over, and that's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Mechanic's Creeper to Garden I'm not about to give up gardening because I'm disabled, but it hurt too much to bend over all the time. So I figured out that if I use a mechanic creeper (you know, those things that mechanics use to roll under cars on), then I can sit on it, be closer to the dirt, carry my supplies, and I don't have to bend over. It works on grass, sidewalk or even in the dirt as long as it's not not wet. One more "dis-" I just took out of disabled! Happy Gardening. By MobeaB from Texas City, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An old country farmer with serious financial problems bought a mule from another old farmer for $100, who agreed to deliver the mule the next day. However, the next day he drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news: The mule died." "Well, then, just give me my money back." Can't do that. I went and spent it already." "OK, then. Just unload the mule." "What ya gonna do with a dead mule?" "I'm going to raffle him off." "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" "Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month later the two met up and the farmer who sold the mule asked, "Whatever happened with that dead mule?" "I raffled him off just like I said I would. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made a net profit of $898." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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One day a mother took her 6-year-old son with her to visit a friend at work. Everyone there knew her, and she was offered a cup of coffee. As one of the employees went to make more coffee, the kid followed her and asked, "What are you doing?" "I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered. Imagine the woman's shock when she heard her son say, "Wow! You know how to make beer?"
One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't complete his math homework," his mother explained. "Why's that?" I asked. "Apparently," she said, "our computer doesn't have Roman numerals."

» Stainless Scuptures

Today in 
1571 Spanish troops occupied Manila.
1628 The Massachusetts colony was founded by Englishmen.
1644 200 members of the Peking imperial family/court 
 committed suicide.
1687 French explorer La Salle was murdered by his own men 
 while searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River 
 in the Gulf of Mexico.
1702 Upon the death of William III of Orange, Anne Stuart, 
 the sister of Mary, succeeds to the throne of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland.
1748 The English Naturalization Act passed granting Jews 
 the right to colonize in the U.S.
1831 The first bank robbery in America was reported. The 
 City Bank of New York City lost $245,000 in the robbery.
1866 The immigrant ship Monarch of the Seas sank in Liverpool 
 killing 738.
1900 Archeologist Arthur John Evans began the excavation of 
 Knossos Palace in Greece.
1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Cuban treaty, gaining naval 
 bases in Guantanamo and Bahia Honda.
1906 Reports from Berlin estimated the cost of the German war 
 in S.W. Africa at $150 million.
1908 The state of Maryland barred Christian Scientists from 
 practicing without medical diplomas.
1917 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the Adamson Act that made 
 the eight-hour workday for railroads constitutional.
1918 The U.S. Congress approved Daylight-Saving Time.
1918 A German seaplane was shot down for the first time 
 by an American pilot.
1920 The U.S. Senate rejected the Versailles Treaty for 
 the second time maintaining an isolation policy.
1924 U.S. troops were rushed to Tegucigalpa as rebel 
 forces took the Honduran capital.
1931 The state of Nevada legalized gambling.
1945 About 800 people were killed as Japanese kamikaze 
 planes attacked the U.S. carrier Franklin off Japan.
1945 Adolf Hitler issued his "Nero Decree" which ordered 
 the destruction of German facilities that could fall 
 into Allied hands as German forces were retreating.
1947 Chiang Kai-Shek's government forces took control of Yenan, 
 the former headquarters of the Chinese Communist Party.
1954 The first rocket-driven sled that ran on rails was 
 tested in Alamogordo, NM.
1963 In Costa Rica, U.S. President John F. Kennedy and six 
 Latin American presidents pledged to fight Communism.
1965 Indonesia nationalized all foreign oil companies.
1968 Students at Howard University seized an administration 
 building.
1969 British invaded Anguilla.
1976 Buckingham Palace announced the separation of Princess 
 Margaret and her husband, the Earl of Snowdon, 
 after 16 years of marriage.
1977 France performed a nuclear test at Muruora Island.
1984 A Mobile oil tanker spilled 200,000 gallons into 
 the Columbia River.
1985 IBM announced that it was planning to stop making 
 the PCjr consumer-oriented computer.
1985 The U.S. Senate voted to authorize production of 
 the MX missile.
1987 Televangelist Jim Bakker resigned from the PTL due 
 to a scandal involving Jessica Hahn.
1988 Two British soldiers were killed by mourners at a 
 funeral in Belfast, North Ireland. The soldiers were shot 
 to death after being dragged from a car and beaten.
1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 
 eggs in Yokohama, Japan.
1998 The World Health Organization warned of tuberculosis 
 epidemic that could kill 70 million people in next two decades.
1999 53 people were killed and dozens were injured when a bomb 
 exploded in a market place in southern Russia.
2001 California officials declared a power alert and ordered 
 the first of two days of rolling blackouts.
2002 Operation Anaconda, the largest U.S.-led ground offensive 
 since the Gulf War, ended in eastern Afghanistan. During the 
 operation, which began on March 2, it was reported that at 
 least 500 Taliban and al Qaeda fighters were killed. Eleven 
 allied troops were killed during the same operation.
2014  smiled.


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Microsoft Synctoy Malfunction 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, March 18.

Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for more injections 
into my eyeballs. That means tomorrow evening I won't 
be sending out the Thursday newsletters. 
The same goes for Thursday and Friday.
Saturday evening I will be sending out the Sunday 
newsletters.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Two Teen Girls, who Physically And Sexually Torture Autistic Boy, Force Him To Have Sex With Animal Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) "Talent is a gift, but character is a choice." --- John C. Maxwell
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>From Rose In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road, and Catcher would usually go there. The office staff knew him and would call me to come pick him up. One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine. "Will you bring him," asked the receptionist, "or will he come on his own?"
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
>From Howard Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do. Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain unanswered. For instance, if I have all this money and own all this real estate...why am I still driving around in a thimble?
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lauren Bush, 17, St. Mary's County, MD. Two Teen Girls Physically And Sexually Torture Autistic Boy, Force Him To Have Sex With Animal Reported by the Weekly Vice Two Maryland teens have been jailed after they allegedly repeatedly abused a 16-year-old autistic boy - physically assaulting him and forcing him to have sex with the family pet. According to police, Lauren Bush, 17, and an unidentified 15-year-old girl, abused, assaulted and tortured the boy over a three month period beginning in December. Investigators say the girls assaulted the boy with a knife, kicked him in the groin, dragged him by the hair and forced him to walk across a frozen pond. The girls then refused to help the boy when he fell through broken ice into the pond. More heinous, the teens allegedly forced the boy to masturbate and have sex with a family pet. The girls reportedly captured the various acts of torture and abuse on their cell phones. An investigation was launched after a mother of one of the suspects found the videos on her daughter's cell phone and alerted the school resource office at Chopticon High School where the girls are both students. Authorities are currently trying to determine why the girls decided to film the acts and if the videos were uploaded to Social Media sites or shared with other students. Bush was charged as an adult with first and second degree assault, false imprisonment and solicitation for child pornography. The unidentified 15-year-old, who was charged as a juvenile, will face the same charges. Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Microsoft SyncToy malfunction Dear Webby: It's Bill with another problem... hope you don't get tired responding... I don't know anyone else who always has a solution. I am trying to schedule "Synctoy", a back-up program from Microsoft, to run daily to back-up my hard-drive. When I check my "Scheduled Tasks" folder I see that Synctoy "Last Run Time" column lists "never" and the "Status" column lists "could not start". I don't know how I messed up on setting this up. I followed all the directions. Thanks again, Bill Dear Bill Synctoy is a Microsoft program, and as such will clash with other Microsoft programs. Some people at Microsoft suggest that you try running it when NO Microsoft programs are running, especially not Internet Explorer or Windows Explorer. Others suggest UNinstalling it and re-installing it, and schedule it to run at boot-up, before anything else starts. That is rather useless, since normally you would back up what work you have done during your shift. Having to shut down and re-start at quitting time, just so that the Microsoft Synctoy has a clean start is rather silly, and will probably get skipped most of the time. Luckily there are plenty of other sync or back-up programs out there, most of them free or included with the better Anti-Malware programs. None of those clash with Internet Explorer or FirFox or Chrome or Opera. Personally, I just use a DOS back-up bat, that uses xcopy and only backs up, what is newer on the source than on the destination. I have used that bat since the late 80's, and I have no desire to replace it with a storebought program. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tips for Staying Alert and Awake While Driving Driving your car for long periods of time, especially at night, can be tiring and even the most careful and attentive driver can become sleepy and less alert. Here are some tips gathered from research on this topic. Be Prepared: Get enough sleep before starting your drive. Schedule Your Trips: Try to schedule your trip during the hours that you would normally be awake. Statistics show that the most dangerous hours to drive are between midnight and 6 a.m. Avoid Taking Medication: Check the labels of your medications, many cause drowsiness. A common culprit is over the counter cold meds. Keep Cool: Make sure that your car is well ventilated and not too warm, even in the winter. Open a window or use your AC. Take Breaks: Short breaks, such as rest area stops or even stopping for a short walk will help keep you alert. A good rule of thumb is to stop every 100 miles or so, sooner if you are feeling tired. Stop to Sleep: When planning your trip, schedule in overnight stops. If you need to stop earlier than planned, due to fatigue, you may be able to make up the time by getting an earlier start in the morning. If you are not able to stop for the night take a nap in a safe place such as a rest area or truck stop. Avoid Drugs: Although they may keep you awake, they will not necessarily keep you alert. Don't Drink and Drive at Any Time: It is well documented that drinking and driving is a very dangerous behavior. These tips were gathered from the Texas Department of Insurance website. By R Barbara [100] For long distance driving or even driving home after work, it is extremely important that you don't have any air flow directed at your face. Air rebounding from the window is worst. It dries out your eyes and makes you sleepy. Use the sun shades to direct the air flow down to your chest. If you forgot and get that "Sandman is calling you to bed" feeling, stop and put some eye drops into your eyes, or rub them until they have been properly moisturized. You don't need fancy or expensive eye drops. The cheapest ones will do just fine, and you can refill them with distilled water. Washing your face at a truck-stop restaurant will work fine too. It is also important that you turn your head as much as you do during daytime driving. Staring at some tail lights for hours can be deadly. Have FUN! DerWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time baptism by immersion. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub. The youngest kitten bore it very well, and so did the younger cat, but the old family tom cat rebelled. The old feline struggled with the boy, clawed his skin, and finally got away. With considerable effort the boy caught the old tom again and proceeded with the "ceremony." But the cat acted worse than ever, clawing and spitting, and scratching the boy's face. Finally, after barely getting the cat splattered with water, he dropped him on the floor in disgust and said: "Fine, be a Methodist if you want to!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

As a professional clown, John entertains groups at parties and company picnics. Once, an inebriated guest began heckling him in the middle of a performance, disrupting his act. Trying to ignore him wasn't working, so he used a different tactic. Slipping his arm around his shoulder, John looked him in the eye and said, "Mister, I get paid to dress up and make a fool of myself - what's your excuse?"
A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife's turn to talk she took the receiver and said, "Hi, hon." "Thank goodness, lady," the voice on the other end replied. "I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!"

» The Strait of Magellan:

Today in 
0037 The Roman Senate annuls Tiberius’ will and proclaims 
 Caligula emperor.
1190 Crusaders killed 57 Jews in Bury St. Edmonds England.
1532 The English parliament banned payments by English 
 church to Rome.
1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood 
 of the Mississippi River.
1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers.
1813 David Melville patented the gas streetlight.
1818 The U.S. Congress approved the first pensions for 
 government service.
1834 The first railroad tunnel in the U.S. was completed. 
 The work was in Pennsylvania.
1850 Henry Wells & William Fargo founded American Express.
1874 Hawaii signed a treaty giving exclusive trading rights 
 with the islands to the U.S.
1891 Britain became linked to the continent of Europe 
 by telephone.
1899 Phoebe, a moon of the planet Saturn, was discovered.
1902 In Turkey, the Sultan granted a German syndicate the 
 first concession to access Baghdad by rail.
1903 France dissolved the Catholic religious orders.
1909 Einar Dessau of Denmark used a short wave transmitter 
 to become the first person to broadcast as a "ham" operator.
1911 Theodore Roosevelt opened the Roosevelt Dam in Arizona. 
 It was the largest dam in the U.S. at the time.
1911 North Dakota enacted a hail insurance law.
1913 Greek King George I was killed by an assassin. 
 Constantine I succeeded him.
1916 Russia countered the Verdun assault with an attack 
 at Lake Naroch. The Russians lost 100,000 men and the 
 Germans lost 20,000.
1917 The Germans sank the U.S. ships, City of Memphis, 
 Vigilante and the Illinois, without any warning.
1921 Poland was enlarged with the second Peace of Riga.
1921 The steamer "Hong Koh" ran aground off of Swatow 
 China. Over 1,000 people were killed.
1931 Schick Inc. displayed the first electric shaver.
1937 More than 400 people, mostly children, were killed 
 in a gas explosion at a school in New London, TX.
1938 Mexico took control of all foreign-owned oil 
 properties on its soil.
1938 New York first required serological blood tests 
 of pregnant women.
1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini held a meeting 
 at the Brenner Pass. The Italian dictator agreed to join 
 in Germany's war against France and Britain.
1942 The third military draft began in the U.S. because 
 of World War II.
1943 The Reich called off its offensive in Caucasus.
1945 1,250 U.S. bombers attacked Berlin.
1949 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was ratified.
1952 In Philadelphia, PA, the first plastic lenses were 
 fitted for a cataract patient.
1954 RKO Pictures was sold for $23,489,478. It became the 
 first motion picture studio to be owned by an individual. 
 The person was Howard Hughes.
1959 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Hawaii statehood bill.
1963 France performed an underground nuclear test at Ecker 
 Algeria.
1963 The U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Miranda decision 
 concerning legal council for defendants.
1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to 
 spacewalk when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while 
 in orbit around the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft 
 for about 20 minutes.
1966 The government of Indonesia was formed by General 
 Suharto.
1966 Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for $1.
1968 The U.S. Congress repealed the requirement for a 
 gold reserve.
1969 U.S. President Nixon authorizes Operation Menue. 
 It was the ‘secret’ bombing of Cambodia.
1970 The U.S. Postal Service experienced the first 
 postal strike.
1971 U.S. helicopters airlifted 1,000 South Vietnamese 
 soldiers out of Laos.
1974 Most of the Arab oil-producing nations ended their 
 five-month embargo against the US, Europe and Japan.
1975 Saigon abandoned most of the Central Highlands of 
 Vietnam to Hanoi.
1975 The Kurds ended their fight against Iraq.
1977 Vietnam turned over an MIA to a U.S. delegation.
1979 Iranian authorities detained American feminist Kate 
 Millett. The next day she was deported.
1980 A Vostok rocket exploded on the launch pad killing 50.
1981 The U.S. disclosed that there were biological weapons 
 tested in Texas in 1966.
1986 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Prince 
 Andrew to Sarah Ferguson.
1986 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that a clear 
 polyester thread was to be woven into bills in an effort 
 to thwart counterfeiters.
1987 The U.S. performed nuclear tests at a Nevada test site.
1989 A 4,400-year-old mummy was discovered at the Pyramid 
 of Cheops in Egypt.
1990 The first free elections took place in East Germany.
1992 Leona Hemsly was sentenced to 4 years in prison 
 for tax evasion.
1992 White South Africans voted for constitutional reforms 
 that would give legal equality to blacks.
1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy.
1997 A Russian AN-24 crashed killing 50 people.
2003 China's new president, Hu Jintao, announced that his 
 country must deepen reforms and raise living standards 
 of workers and farmers.
2014  smiled.


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Floppy Light 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, March 17.

Saint Patrick was a Christian missionary, bishop and 
apostle to Ireland. He was born in the late 4th century.

Patrick began his first mission to Ireland in 432.

On March 17, 461 A.D., St. Patrick died at Saul, 
Downpatrick, Ireland.

On March 17, 1762, in New York City, the first 
St. Patrick's Day parade took place. The parade was 
held by Irish soldiers serving in the British army.

Today March 17 is a day of international celebration,
even in Ireland. 

Until 1970 drinking alcohol was prohibited in Ireland
in honor of St Patrick's death. Rumpr has it, the people
of Ireland has since then made upfor that.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa Man Busted For Craigslist Sex Barter Offer Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1992 - White South Africans approved constitutional reforms to give legal equality to blacks. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Fix, Clean and Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs Rated 5 Cows at Tucows!

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. "No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?" "The cork fell out!" said the Irishman
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
>From Cookie In a bid to stem taxpayer losses for bad loans guaranteed by federal housing agencies Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) proposed that borrowers be required to make a 5% down payment in order to qualify for a loan. His proposal was rejected 57-42 on a straight party-line vote because, as Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) explained, "Passage of such a requirement would restrict home ownership to only those who can afford it." The result was history.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bernard Marsonek, 57, Tampa, Floriduh Jailed for having sex with dog as neighbors pleaded with him to stop Reported by the Weekly Vice Bernard Marsonek, a 57-year-old Florida man, was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly had sex with his - even as neighbors pleaded with him to stop. According to Tampa police, officers were dispatched to Marsonek's residence Tuesday afternoon after neighbors reported that he was having sex with one of his dogs. When officers arrived on the scene, a group of neighbors who witnessed the event pointed officers in Marsonek's direction. The neighbors told investigators that they shouted at Marsonek to stop, but he ignored them and continued to have sex with the animal. Investigators tried to interview Marsonek at the scene, but he refused to cooperate. A gun and ammunition were found inside his residence. Marsonek is a convicted felon who is prohibited from possessing a firearm. Animal services investigators took custody of eight large pit bulls that were found on the property. Marsonek was booked into jail and charged with two counts of a felon in possession of a firearm, animal cruelty and sexual activity involving animals. He was released on Wednesday after posting $17,500 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Floppy Light Dear Webby, this may sound like a silly question but here goes: Walked into the computer room yesterday and the little green light on the floppy disk slot was on, while it was on there was this buzzing sound. Then, after a few seconds the light went out, and the buzzing stopped. A few more seconds after that the light came on, the buzzing started once again. All this only happens for a few seconds. So, I took a floppy disk (which I haven't used in years) put it into the drive and all is well, or seems to be. Question? Will it hurt to keep a disk in the drive? And do you have any idea what might be going on? You're always so knowledgeable that I thot you'd be the only one to know the answer. This is not affecting my computer in any other way, I'm just curious. Thanks for all your help, you are a Godsend Cheers, Wendy Dear Wendy I have not used floppy disks in probably more than 15 years. Still got some shoe boxes full of them, but no drive to read them. It sounds like you or a hacker accidentally tried to save something onto the A: drive. As long as it has finished doing that, there should be no more buzzing or light until you or somebody tries to save something onto the A: drive. Do a full scan and make sure there is no hacker accessing your machine, when you are not looking. Don't leave a floppy inthe A: drive. That is the default boot drive. A hostile program cold make a boot disk, and then next time you reboot, it could trash your C: drive. After letting it finish a save to the A: drive, I would check and probably format that floppy, to make 100% sure it does not hold anything hostile. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting your Camera Protect your camera from the rain, sand, and elements (at the beach, etc.) by putting it in a plastic bag such as a Ziploc bag. You can also have fun and make special effects by putting stickers or sticking objects on the bag when you take your picture. By Carol from Eastern, NC You can get padded camera bags at the Dollar Store and at Garage Sales. With those from garage sales, you might have to fix or replace the zipper, but that is no big deal with SpeedSew or any glue. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks onsumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?" "Nothin' , said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. Again, he fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
Murphy came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So Murphy tied her up and went to the pub.

» Yosemite National Park

Today in 
0461 - Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul, Ireland. 
 Ireland celebrates this day in his honor.
1756 - St. Patrick's Day was celebrated in New York City 
 for the first time. The event took place at the Crown 
 and Thistle Tavern.
1766 - Britain repealed the Stamp Act that had caused 
 resentment in the North American colonies.
1776 - British forces evacuated Boston to Nova Scotia 
 during the Revolutionary War.
1884 - In Otay, California, John Joseph Montgomery made 
 the first manned, controlled, heavier-than-air glider 
 flight in the United States.
1891 - The British steamer Utopia sank off Gibraltar.
1914 - Russia increased the number of active duty military 
 from 460,000 to 1,700,000.
1930 - Al Capone was released from jail.
1944 - During World War II, the U.S. bombed Vienna.
1958 - The Vanguard 1 satellite was launched by the U.S.
1959 - The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) 
 fled Tibet and went to India.
1962 - Moscow asked the U.S. to pull out of South Vietnam.
1966 - A U.S. submarine found a missing H-bomb in the 
 Mediterranean off of Spain.
1973 - The first American prisoners of war (POWs) were 
 released from the "Hanoi Hilton" in Hanoi, North Vietnam.
1985 - U.S. President Reagan agreed to a joint study 
 with Canada on acid rain.
1989 - A series of solar flares caused a violent magnetic 
 storm that brought power outages over large regions of Canada.
1992 - White South Africans approved constitutional reforms 
 to give legal equality to blacks.
1995 - Gerry Adams became the first leader of Sinn Fein to 
 be received at the White House.
1999 - A panel of medical experts concluded that marijuana 
 had medical benefits for people suffering from cancer 
 and AIDS.
1999 - The International Olympic Committee expelled six 
 of its members in the wake of a bribery scandal.
2009 - The iTunes Music Store reached 800 million 
 applications downloaded. 

2014  smiled.


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Laptop Function keys 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, March 15.

Thank you Michael!
Thank You, Margaret!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa Man Busted For Craigslist Sex Barter Offer Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1994 Russia agreed to phase out production of weapons-grade plutonium. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. --- Ted Turner O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. --- Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD)
Fix, Clean and Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs Rated 5 Cows at Tucows!

>From Anna My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong. "I have to ask you to move your car," my husband told him. "Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?" "No," he replied, "it's parked in the wrong driveway."
eStore Award-winning antivirus software protects your PC from viruses, Trojans, spyware, rootkits and other malicious programs. Kasperski
45-year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
Thanks to Dad for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version This one bloomed today!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stan Syring, 37, Marion, Iowa Man Busted For Craigslist Sex Barter Offer Reported by the Smoking Gun In need of a 16-foot trailer for a flat-bottom boat, the Iowa man went on Craigslist and posted an ad proposing a barter deal in the site’s “For Sale/Wanted” section. What Syring allegedly offered in exchange for the trailer resulted in his arrest this week, according to police. The Craigslist post by Syring, a married, 37-year-old father, noted that the boat trailer was needed “asap,” and that the poster “will trade for sex if need be.” After Marion Police Department officers learned of the online ad, they exchanged e-mails with the Craigslist poster discussing whether the offered act would be oral or anal sex. The parties agreed that detail would be settled when they met in person, according to police. During a subsequent meeting with a male undercover officer, Syring “offered his services as a partner in a sex act in exchange for a boat trailer,” according to a District Court criminal complaint. Investigators allege that Syring also agreed to give the cop $25 (in addition to the sex act, which is not further described in court papers). A used 16-foot boat trailer typically sells for several hundred dollars. Syring was subsequently arrested and charged with prostitution. He was booked Monday into the Linn County jail on the misdemeanor count, and was released from custody the following day. Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: Laptop Hotkeys Dear Webby, Hope this finds you in good health and spirits. My question this week is about Hot Keys. My cat walked across my laptop last night and turned on the hot keys? It took me a hour to figure out how to turn the things off and did it accidentally at that. What purpose do they perform and how do i turn them off the correct way? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. Randall Dear Randall I think you mean Function keys. That is different with different laptops. Check the documentation, that came with THAT laptop. The smaller the keyboard, the more they multi-function the keys. Personally I use a regular keyboard plugged into a USB port and don't use the silly laptop keyboard. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ideas for Using Wire Hangers I had a couple of them in my house, and I was going to throw them out. Then I thought "wait, you recycle other things, think up something for these wire hangers!" So I walked through the house and it hit me, how about using them for hanging up your wreaths, or electric cords in storage? I also use them for hanging my plastic grocery bags, you know the big one. Just hang it up on a nail or hook, and bend the outer part in toward the middle, and there you have it. Simple! By Mardel R. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Mick: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?" Randy: "A little. What's wrong?" Mick: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened." Randy: "How did you load the sheet?" Mick: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
The elementary school teacher was trying impress upon the seventh-grade history class how Native Americans must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," said she, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's newest boyfriend."

» Yosemite National Park

Today in 
1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York, England.
1521 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the 
 Philippines. He was killed the next month by natives.
1527 The Emperor Babur defeated the Rajputs at the Battle 
 of Kanvaha in India.
1621 Samoset walked into the settlement of Plymouth Colony, 
 later Plymouth, MA. Samoset was a native from the Monhegan 
 tribe in Maine who spoke English.
1909 Cuba suffered its first revolt only six weeks after 
 the inauguration of Gomez.
1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated his throne.
1926 Physicist Robert H. Goddard launched the first 
 liquid-fuel rocket.
1935 Adolf Hitler ordered a German rearmament.
1939 Germany occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia.
1945 Iwo Jima was declared secure by the Allies. However, 
 small pockets of Japanese resistance still existed.
1947 Martial law was withdrawn in Tel Aviv.
1950 Congress voted to remove federal taxes on oleomargarine.
1968 U.S. troops in Vietnam destroyed a village consisting 
 mostly of women and children. The event is known as the 
 My-Lai massacre.
1978 Italian politician Aldo Moro was kidnapped by left-wing 
 urban guerrillas. Moro was later murdered by the group.
1982 Russia announced they would halt their deployment of new 
 nuclear missiles in Western Europe.
1993 In France, ostrich meat was officially declared fit for 
 human consumption.
1994 Russia agreed to phase out production of weapons-grade 
 plutonium.
1995 NASA astronaut Norman Thagard became the first American 
 to visit the Russian space station Mir.
1998 Rwanda began mass trials for 1994 genocide with 125,000 
 suspects for 500,000 murders.
1999 The 20 members of the European Union's European Commission 
 announced their resignations amid allegations of corruption 
 and financial mismanagement.
2014  smiled.


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When you can't get your mail out 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, March 15.

Thank You, Margaret!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Scorned wife, who posted nude pix of husband's girlfriend on FB and got her son to look at them Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high ranking Roman Senators. The day is known as the "Ides of March." Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player Only sick music makes money today. --- Friedrich Nietzsche If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. --- Donald H. Rumsfeld
Fix, Clean and Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs Rated 5 Cows at Tucows!

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. A half hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there. "No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?" "No, and I don't care." Replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replied, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Julie Ottaviani, 54, Hannover, PA Scorned wife posted nude pix of husband's girlfriend on FB and got her son to look at them Reported by the Huff Post A Pennsylvania woman looking to exact revenge on her husband stole nude photos of his girlfriend, posted them to Facebook, and tricked the other woman's teenage son into looking at them. Ottaviani had agreed to plead guilty to charges of corruption of minors and criminal use of a computer. The irate wife admitted to hacking into her estranged husband's computer and cell phone in January, where she saw and stole naked photos of the man's girlfriend. That's when investigators said Ottaviani created a fake Facebook profile where she posted the images of the naked woman. She then added the woman's 14-year-old teenage son as a friend. Court records said that the teen accepted the request, clicked on the profile, and saw photos of his naked mother, according to KDVR. “I wanted her kid to hurt as much as mine,” Ottaviani said in court documents, according to the Times Leader. When leaving court Ottaviani struck a paparazzi with her purse, getting the entire media mad at her. Hanover Township police are now investigating Tuesday's incident outside the court, and whether or not Ottaviani will face new charges. Tech Support Pits From: Liane Re: Not getting my mail out Dear Webby, I am writing this with gmail, because you and most people don't seem to get mail from my regular business address. What am I doing wrong? Liane Dear Diana Dear Liane Except for Telus, very few ISPs censor outgoing mail. Most likely you are using a childish autoresponder and got blocked and blacklisted by the people who had written to you before. Nowadays autoresponders are only appropriate when they provide real information. A good example is: "Write to ... to get an up to the minute road report from a guaranteed unmonitored and safe autoresponder." Telling somebody that mail arrived and that you may or may not get around to answer it some day, is NOT considered real information. That is considered as dumb a nuisance as any other unsolicited mail. Like me, a lot of people trash mail from autoresponders right on the server, unseen by anybody, and at the same time automatically blacklist the sender. Just dump that blocked and blacklisted address, get a new address and don't use a silly autoresponder on the new one. A vacation autoresponder MAY be tolerated by some people, but an after-hours auroresponder is NOT. Nobody expects you to answer after hours, but that may be the only time, that they can send you requested information. They do NOT want a childish autoresponder telling them that unlike them, you are not working at that time. So in the words of the great philosopher Socratex, "Cut the crap!" Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Take a Solar Yard Light Camping If you are a camper, you have probably at one time or another experienced having a very dark campsite. I have a simple and inexpensive solution for you. Pack one of the solar yard lights to take with you camping. You can purchase them for less than $4 and they give just enough light to make your campsite safe and easy to walk around after dark. If you have tent stakes and you are concerned about your family tripping over the tent ropes after dark, the solar lights are very safe to use as there are no electrical wires or extension cords to deal with. Solar lights are weatherproof and using a couple around your campsite usually are not too invasive to your camping neighbors. They are very handy if you have small children who have to be taken to the restroom during the night in the campground. The solar lights give just enough light to take away the scare of coming and going from the campsite. By Marsha from Greenville, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Having trouble with the doctor's notes on an emergency case which read, "Shot in the lumbar region," the poor girl was flustered and at her wit's end. At last she thought she had it figured out and brightened up as she typed up the record, "Wounded in the woods."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A minister was opening his mail one morning and. Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "FOOL". The next Sunday he announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their name. "But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter."
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate. "That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive." "Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of an electrician's brain costs five thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a politicians brain is seventy-five thousand dollars." "Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politician's brain? Why on earth is that?" "Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many politicians we would have to kill?"

» Strange Statues

Today in 
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by 
 high ranking Roman Senators. The day is known as the 
 "Ides of March."
1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his 
 first New World voyage.
1778 In command of two frigates, the Frenchman la Perouse 
 sailed east from Botany Bay for the last lap of his 
 voyage around the world.
1781 During the American Revolution, the Battle of Guilford 
 Courthouse took place in North Carolina. British General 
 Cornwallis' 1,900 soldiers defeated an American force of 4,400.
1862 General John Hunt Morgan began four days of raids near 
 the city of Gallatin, TN.
1864 Red River Campaign began as the Union forces reach 
 Alexandria, LA.
1877 The first cricket test between Australia and England 
 was played in Melbourne. Australia won by 45 runs.
1892 New York State unveiled the new automatic ballot 
 voting machine.
1892 Jesse W. Reno patented the Reno Inclined Elevator. 
 It was the first escalator.
1901 German Chancellor von Bulow declared that an agreement 
 between Russia and China over Manchuria would violate the 
 Anglo-German accord of October 1900.
1902 In Boston, MA, 10,000 freight handlers went back to 
 work after a weeklong strike.
1903 The British conquest of Nigeria was completed. 500,000 
 square miles were now controlled by the U.K.
1904 Three hundred Russians were killed as the Japanese 
 shelled Port Arthur in Korea.
1909 Italy proposed a European conference on the Balkans.
1916 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops, under 
 General Pershing, over the border of Mexico to pursue bandit 
 Pancho Villa. The mission failed.
1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated himself and his son. 
 His brother Grand Duke succeeded as czar.
1922 Fuad I assumed the title of king of Egypt after the 
 country gained nominal independence from Britain.
1934 Henry Ford restored the $5 a day wage.
1937 In Chicago, IL, the first blood bank to preserve blood 
 for transfusion by refrigeration was established at the 
 Cook County Hospital.
1938 Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia.
1939 German forces occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and part 
 of Czechoslovakia.
1944 Cassino, Italy, was destroyed by Allied bombing.
1949 Clothes rationing in Great Britain ended nearly four 
 years after the end of World War II.
1951 General de Lattre demanded that Paris send him more 
 troops for the fight in Vietnam.
1951 The Persian parliament voted to nationalize the oil 
 industry.
1955 The U.S. Air Force unveiled a self-guided missile.
1960 The first underwater park was established as Key 
 Largo Coral Reef Preserve.
1964 In Montreal, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were 
 married.
1968 The U.S. mint halted the practice of buying and selling 
 gold.
1985 In Brazil, two decades of military rule came to an end 
 with the installation of a civilian government.
1989 The U.S. Food and Drug administration decided to impound 
 all fruit imported from Chili after two cyanide-tainted grapes 
 were found in Philadelphia, PA.
1990 In Iraq, British journalist Farzad Bazoft was hanged 
 for spying.
1990 Mikhail Gorbachev was elected the first executive president 
 of the Soviet Union.
1990 The Ford Explorer was introduced to the public.
1990 The Soviet parliament ruled that Lithuania's declaration 
 of independence was invalid and that Soviet law was still in 
 force in the Baltic republic.
1991 Four Los Angeles police officers were indicted in the 
 beating of Rodney King on March 3, 1991. (California)
1994 U.S. President Clinton extended the moratorium on nuclear 
 testing until September of 1995.
1996 The aviation firm Fokker NV collapsed.
1998 More than 15,000 ethnic Albanians marched in Yugoslavia to 
 demand independence for Kosovo.
2002 Libyan Abdel Baset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi began his life 
 sentence in a Scottish jail for his role in the bombing of 
 Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21, 1988.
2002 In the U.S., Burger King began selling a veggie burger. 
 The event was billed as the first veggie burger to be sold 
 nationally by a fast food chain.
2002 In Texas, Andrea Yates received a life sentence for 
 drowning her five children on June 20, 2001.
2002 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell told the Associated 
 Press that the U.S. would stand by a 24-year pledge not to 
 use nuclear arms against states that don't have them.
2014  smiled.


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