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Double extensions on file names 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, May 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Good Luck!
DearWebby

Intermittent sound probloems 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, May 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh Woman, who records herself on video buying cocaine and then shows it to the police. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 26, in 1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." 1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I am not young enough to know everything. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ella On a curvy mountain highway late one night, my dad was com- plaining about the car behind us. "That guy must be drunk!" he said. "Every time I move over to let him pass, he slows down. When I get back on the road, he gets closer and stays on my tail." A few minutes later, the car turned on a set of flashing blue lights. Coming up to our window, the officer said, "Sir, I'd like you to take an alcohol test. You've been swerving on and off the road for the last fifteen minutes!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
> from Roland Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside onto the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ______________________________________________________ How do you get 10 sweet little 80-year-old ladies to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!" ______________________________________________________ Hanging Glacier Queulat National Park Chile ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Floriduh Woman records herself on video buying cocaine and then shows it to the police. Kathleen Laroche, 27, Fort Pierce, Florida, If you just bought cocaine and recorded the drug deal on your own dashcam video, it might not be a good idea to show the footage to the sheriff’s deputy who pulled you over for erratic driving without a license. But that’s just what Kathleen Laroche, 27, did May 12 in Fort Pierce, according to arrest affidavits. The case began as St. Lucie County sheriff’s investigators traveled south on South 25th Street at Edwards Road and a Ford Focus sped past them. They stopped the vehicle, which Laroche was driving. Laroche apologized for weaving and speeding, and said she didn’t have a license because it was suspended. Laroche was arrested on a driving on a suspended license charge. One of the investigators noticed a dashcam type camera that was recording, and asked about the video quality. He asked if he could see the video, and Laroche said he could. “(The detective) saw that the video captured Laroche purchasing cocaine just prior to the traffic stop,” an affidavit states. Noting the accused drug seller, the detective went back to the spot and spoke to the seller, identified as 43-year-old William Hills. The investigator told Hills he’d just seen him sell Laroche cocaine on video. Hills fessed up to selling $30 worth of the drug. Laroche told investigators the cocaine was in her brassiere. A spoon with blood and drug residue on it was in her purse. Laroche, of Port St. Lucie, also was arrested on charges of cocaine possession, cocaine purchasing and possession of drug equipment. Hills, of Fort Pierce, was arrested on a cocaine selling charge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Drew RE: Intermittent sound problems Dear Webby On occasion, when running a program, I lose the sound for a while and sometimes it comes back on. What can cause this and what can I do to prevent it from happening again? This occurs when I am playing games or running a child's program for my Granddaughter. Drew Dear Drew One possibility is a bad speaker cord or plug. That is the most common. Another is that you need to clean out your tmporary Internet files and spybots and reboot. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around a coffee shop in Miami, talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third. "What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!" "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another. "I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement. "Well, count your blessings," said one woman cheerfully "and thank God we can all still drive". ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Caring for Cast Iron Cookware If the rust is a bit deep get some sandpaper and try to remove it. After removal of the rust, clean it well with soap and water, then dry it. Brush some vegetable oil on it and heat in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. Remove and let cool. Then reapply more oil and heat for another 30 minutes. If the rust is only topical then you can rub it out using equal parts vegetable oil and salt. Then follow the instructions for the seasoning and heating from above. Good luck! By Tahloolabelle [36 Posts, 90 Comments] I knew an old Swiss Chef, who would have gotten VERY violent if somebody did that to his frying pans. He always used warm water and if necessary some salt to scour cast iron pans. After that he always immediately dried and heated them, and re-seasoned them with whatever was handy, a bacon rind, butter, or oil, and heated them until they started to smoke. His pans were slick enough to flip pancakes, omlettes, crepes, quiche, even fish. He came over from Switzerland every summer to fish, and even built a cabin near my place in the Yukon. He grew a very nice garden and fished every day until he died, while fishing. Sandpaper is silly. It just cleans the high spots. Rust is usually in the pits and pores of neglected pans. Salt or fine sand scrubs it out nicely, or even a brass suede brush. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son." "OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery." "How can you say all that without even meeting him?" "I thought you said he's 13?" ___________________________________________________
dog rats out sister
____________________________________________________ When Bill and Sue were getting married, they wanted to add a touch of Sue's home state, Kansas, to the wedding. Bill explained this to a friend and said that they were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony. His friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho." ____________________________________________________ After shopping at a busy store, Mary and another woman happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding their cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then Mary's car horn beeped, and she was able to locate her vehicle easily. Wow," the other woman said. "I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car." "Actually," I replied, "that was my husband who honked the horn when he saw me walking off in the wrong direction." ____________________________________________________
The 20 best photos of the month that you just can't take your eyes off of.

Today on May 27
1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed 
 for being a "witch."
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for 
 being Baptists.
1896 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, by a tornado.
1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco.
1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic 
 flight.
1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the 
 stratosphere, by balloon.
1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to 
 pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco 
 and Marin County.
1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an 
 "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions.
1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British 
 naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed.
1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive 
 in Libya with his Afrika Korps.
1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey.
1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center 
 in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10.
1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 
 industrial goods.
1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds 
 from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century.
1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire 
 to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader 
 of the rebels.
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment 
 suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President 
 Clinton was in office.
1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for 
 not warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City 
 federal building.
1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted 
 Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. 
2016  smiled.


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Deceptive W10 Pop-Up explained 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, May 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia mom arrested for sitting on toddler’s head for one hour. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 26, in 1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. --- Jascha Heifetz (1901 - 1987) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, you'd gone fishing."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a rather scary looking older woman, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination" said the young girl. "All right," smiled the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me" said the girl. "It's my aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue and say AHH." ______________________________________________________ An man remarks, "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?" "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible," replies his wife, "I look at your picture and the problem becomes relatively insignificant." "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" says the man. "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'Just how bad is this problem, ...... compared to him?'" ______________________________________________________ Fox pups at the end of my street ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Georgia mom arrested for sitting on toddler’s head for one hour Susan Elizabeth Kelley, Kennesaw, Georgia A Kennesaw woman was arrested after police said she sat on her 2-year-old son’s head for an hour. Susan Elizabeth Kelley placed her son’s head on the seat portion of a wooden dining room chair with a towel placed under the child’s head, according to a warrant obtained Monday by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “The accused sat on the child’s head, with full body weight, for approximately 1 hour in an attempt to gain ‘submission’ from the child,” according to the warrant. The child, who had redness on his head, chest and back, became unresponsive and was taken to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta at Egleston. He is expected to make a full recovery, according to the warrant. Kelley was arrested on a charge of first degree cruelty to children. She was released from the Cobb County Adult Detention Center on $55,220 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Michael RE: Microsoft has admitted that they are mugging Dear Webby Microsoft has admitted that the W10 Pop-Ups are deceptive and "X"ing out of them is treated as approving the installation of W10. Michael Dear Michael Yes, the Department of Sleaze has indeed been getting scared of Archie Bunker, Jr. and very desperate. They want everybody enslaved by W10 before the election gets serious. Their newest sleazy trick is that infamous W10 Pop-Up. Ever since Windows 1 the X in the right hand top corner has meant: "Stop! Don't do anything! Just get me outa here!" Now, when everybody has been trained to that, and the term "X-ing out of there" has become part of the language, With the W10 Mugging Pop-Up it signals "Yes, Install W10" Do NOT hit the X unless you DO want W10 ! Click on the "here", that I circled in red. In the PopUp it is a yuppie style NOT underlined link, unlike the underlined compatibility report link further down. It is purposly almost hidden and hard to spot. Hit that "here" and set the W10 installation date to Feb 29, 2099 Please note: The "x out of here" perversion does not apply to anything else. All software and the rest of Windows use the "X" in the traditional way, like it has been used since Windows 1. Yes, I know that is extremely sleazy, but the Department of Sleaze is in a panic and freaking out about the thought, that you might escape. What is funny is that, as Cindy has found out, their legal department overrules the Department Of Sleaze. If you let it install W10, but at the end refuse to accept their terms and refuse to give all rights on everything including to not yet ordered pizza to Microsoft, then they un-install, take their marbles and waddle away in a pout. They may or may not try again, but setting the installation date to 2099 seems to work well. I did that years ago, and they have not bothered me since. Even funnier is that W10 is not really that bad. It is about as good as XP was before the Service Packs and works well enough. W10 is just klutzy and awkward because they use an awkward user interface designed by somebody's dopey niece. If you get the very popular third party Classic Shell, it is just as good as W7. So far over 15 Million people use Classic Shell. You can get it free at http://filehippo.com/download_classic_shell/ There are other shells available too, but Classic Shell is the best known and has a good forum. Hopefully Microsoft will use it in W11 or W12. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Ham With Pineapple By Vi Johnson [287 Posts, 800 Comments] Ingredients: 1 lb. sliced ham 1/2 cup pineapple juice 4 slices pineapple 12 marshmallows Directions: Bake ham for 30 minutes. Drain off fat. Cover ham with pineapple and juice. Bake in slow oven (325 degrees F) until ham is tender. Baste frequently. Turn pineapple and allow both sides to brown. Cover with marshmallows. Place in slow oven until marshmallows are puffed and slightly brown. Serve at once. Source: 1935 Household Searchlight Cook Book This recipe by Mrs. B.W. Alward, Erie, PA. By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jason was having a tough day and had stretched himself out on the couch to do a bit of what he thought to be well- deserved complaining and self-pitying. He moaned to his wife, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" His wife, busily occupied with other things, hardly looked up at and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Jason. Can't be everybody. Some people don't know you." ___________________________________________________
English Country Garden
____________________________________________________ Daughter: Mom, Can I have some money for a new dress? Mother: Go ask your father, dear. You are getting married in a month and you need the practise. ____________________________________________________ The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!" --------------- That story inspired the Outhouse Races on Lakeelse Lake in northern BC in the 60's and early 70s. It seems the people living there now are not as adventurous as we used to be. Instead of paddling a 4 foot x 4 foot ( 1.2 m x 1.2 m ) raft with a 6 foot high outhouse on it across the lake, they now have a wine tasting party and raffle off a boat. ____________________________________________________
Eight beautiful cities that are starting to go car-free.

Today on May 26
0017 Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans.
1328 William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon
1521 Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because 
 of his religious beliefs and writings.
1647 A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of 
 Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for 
 a second offense.
1660 King Charles II of England landed at Dover after being 
 exiled for nine years.
1670 A treaty was signed in secret in Dover, England, between 
 Charles II and Louis XIV ending the hostilities between them.
1736 The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French 
 at the Battle of Ackia.
1791 The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over 
 the crown and state assets.
1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan
1831 Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska.
1896 The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned.
1908 In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East.
1913 Actors’ Equity Association was organized in New York City.
1940 The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, began
1946 A patent was filed in the United States for an H-bomb.
1946 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military 
 pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin.
1956 The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove, 
 Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000 
 in deposits its first day.
1959 The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O.
1961 A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a 
 record time of just over three hours.
1969 The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a successful 
 eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned moon landing.
1975 American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal 
 injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to jump 
 13 buses in his car.
1977 George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the 
 South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him 
 3 1/2 hours.
1991 A Lauda Air Boeing 767 crashed in Thailand, killing all 
 223 people aboard.
1994 U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China, 
 and announced that his administration would no longer link 
 China's trade status with its human rights record. Since then our computers and components have been built in China.


2016  smiled.


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Best trick to revert after getting mugged by W10 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, May 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Mugger who got caught after his car did not start at the Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florida Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 25, in 585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was made in Greece. 1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. --- Paul Eldridge I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. --- Victor Borge _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, "Professor you're 44.." The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he is half crazy."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not really my ladder. It's actually my dad's." ______________________________________________________ SUE: "Karen, do you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?" KAREN: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair. SUE: But your husband is still alive. KAREN: I know, but his hair is gone. ______________________________________________________ Pekin Robin ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 0 Mugger gets caught after his car won't start at the Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florida Edenson Major, 26, Belle Glade, Floriduh A Belle Glade man accused of a mugging at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino was arrested after his getaway car failed to start and he had to catch a ride from a passer-by, Seminole authorities said. Edenson Major, 26, was arrested in connection with a robbery that took place about noon Monday on the third floor of the Winner's Way parking garage at the casino near Hollywood, said spokesman Gary Bitner. Major allegedly walked up behind the 73-year-old, reached into the man's pocket and stole $1,895 in cash. The man fell and Major walked away, Bitner said. Surveillance video showed Major leaving the garage and walking toward a vehicle, which would not start. A passer-by offered to jump-start the vehicle, but then gave Major a ride to the intersection of Stirling Road and U.S. 441, leaving the disabled car behind, investigators said. Seminole police found the car in the parking lot and called its owner, who said he had loaned the car to Major, his cousin. Police arrested Major just before 3 p.m. Wednesday and charged him with robbery by sudden snatching, theft from a person 65 or older, and battery on a person 65 or older, records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cindy RE: Easiest way to deal with W10 mugging Dear Webby Hi, read your tip today about Windows 10 being installed without requesting it. Same happened to me today. I woke up to a screen telling me Windows 10 was now installed! After attempting to make it go away, including turning off my computer and restarting it, I finally clicked B>next which led to the legal talk wanting me to agree to their terms. I said “no” and it then re-installed my previous version automatically. Might help some others when it happens to them! As always, thanks for the fabulous computer wisdom you share with us. Cindy Dear Cindy Thank you very much for that tip! It is certainly the easiest method to get out from under the mugging. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. Liz replied: "Yeah, I can understand that. I feel that way too when I eat my hubby's cooking!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Opening Jars with Arthritic Hands I have arthritis in my hands and it is hard to open some jar lids. So I cut a square of rubber shelf lining to use on the lid . If it is stubborn, I put the jar under hot running water for just a few seconds, dry the lid and it works for me. By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three guys were standing around talking about dying when one asked, "What would you like people to say about you as they come to pay their last respects?" The second man said, "I hope they say I was a respected doctor in my field, a good family man, and had lots of friends." The third man said, "I hope they say I was a well spoken attorney, helped my fellow man, good citizen, and played a mean round of golf." The first man said, "That's probably what will be said of the two of you. My hope is that when they look down in my coffin they say, "Look...he's moving"! ___________________________________________________
Wall Street explained in 3 minutes
____________________________________________________ The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding doctor: "After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal." "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor. "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on the third floor!" ____________________________________________________ Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Presbyterian parents. He was very, very good, worked hard at school, did his chores, and was generally helpful and obedient. But one morning, for some reason, he came down to breakfast in a very nasty mood. When his mother served him prunes, he snarled, "I don't want prunes," and he refused to eat them. His parents were aghast, and his father said, "Robert, you know that Lord commanded children to honor and obey their parents, and He will punish those who do not." But Robert still refused and was angrily sent back to bed, and the prunes were put in the refrigerator. A few minutes later, a terrible thunderstorm came up with great roars of thunder and flashes of lightning. "Ah, wonderful," said Robert's mother, "this will teach him a lesson." To their great surprise though, Robert came to the top of the stairs and called down: "Sounds like God doesn't want you to make such a fuss about some silly prunes!" ____________________________________________________
Take me to Australia! From some of the comments there is some misinformation in the picture identities, but the photos are gorgeous.

Today on May 25
585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was 
 made in Greece.
1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems.
1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain.
1844 The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry.
1895 Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and novelist, was 
 convicted of a morals charge and sentenced to prison in London.
1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would 
 replace the Model T.
1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired.
1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work 
 toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade.
1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded.
1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared 
 in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national 
 memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done 
 to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War.
1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at 
 Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed.
1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower, 
 while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours.
1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that 
 killed more than 11,000 people.
1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces 
 of communism.
2001 Erik Weihenmeyer, 32, of Golder, CO, became the first blind 
 climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains 
 of Mars.
2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second 
 successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong.
2016  smiled.


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What to do after you got mugged by W10 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Two Tennessee ministers nabbed in child-prostitution sting Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 24, in 1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered solar system. That did not go over well. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. --- Susan Ertz The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty. --- Eugene McCarthy _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond here?"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer. "How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the engineer. ______________________________________________________ From the Olden Days when we had floppy drives: Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly, and the secretary has gone home already." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." Tech Support: "hmmmm, Have a look at the front of the computer. Does it have an ATM slot like at a bank machine? If there is a button sticking out there, then you are behind in your ID ten T tax. Are you familiar with that?" Customer: "Yes, of course. I know all about that. We have a 10 T network here." Tech Support: "Excellent. Normally you would pay the ID-10-T tax on-line, but since you can't get on-line, I'll have to take your VISA over the phone. We'll just charge it $10 for now, and tomorrow your secretary can bring it up to date. What is your VISA number?" .....VISA info... OK, Sir, now look for that ATM button again, and push it in really hard." Customer: "Something black popped out!" Tech Support: "Excellent ! You are doing great, Sir! Now go back to the keyboard and hold down these 3 keys together: CTRL ALT DEL, just for a second or so." Customer: "Its's starting properly now! " Tech Support: "Excellent! Leave a note for the secretary to re-imburse you for the ID-10-T tax payment you made." Customer: "Thanks, I'll do that." ----------- If somebody leaves you a note to reimburse him or her for the IDIOT TAX that they paid, now you know what that is all about. ______________________________________________________ Johnston Canyon, Banff ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Two Tennessee ministers nabbed in child-prostitution sting Jason Kennedy, 46, Knoxville Tennessee Zubin Parakh, 32 Clinton, Tennessee Two Knoxville-area ministers face felony charges for seeking sex with underage girls as part of an undercover sting operation targeting human trafficking and prostitution this week. Jason Kennedy, 46, of Knoxville was charged Thursday with felony human trafficking and patronizing prostitution and trafficking after he and Zubin Parakh answered online advertisements specifically offering sex with an underage girl, said Mark Gwyn, director of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. Kennedy was a children's minister at Grace Baptist Church in the Knoxville suburb of Karns, Tenn., until his arrest; his name had been scrubbed as of Friday from the church's website, Twitter and Facebook feeds. Also charged with felony trafficking is Parakh, 32, of Clinton, who served as creative pastor with LifeHouse Church in Oak Ridge, according to a cached version of the church's website. By Friday afternoon, references to Parakh also had been taken off his church's site. Kennedy has been fired from his job at Grace Baptist, according to a statement the church released Friday afternoon. "The actions of the children's pastor for which he has been arrested were part of his life outside the church, and we have received no questions or concerns related to his conduct within the church or its ministries," church officials said. A background check, done before Kennedy was hired 2˝ years ago, and the minister himself indicated no problems. Kennedy was one of two charged with felony trafficking because he specifically sought out an underage girl, authorities said. The trafficking charge is normally a Class B felony, which could mean eight to 30 years in prison and a fine of up to $25,000; however, authorities said they will enhance it to a Class A felony, which could mean 15 to 60 years in prison and a fine of up to $50,000, because their sting operation took place within 1,000 feet of a church. Another church is next door to the Best Western motel where Knoxville police officers conducted the three-day sting, the fifth operation of its kind in Tennessee to serve as a crackdown on human trafficking. Kennedy remained in Knox County jail Friday in lieu of $50,500 bond. He is accused of responding via text message to an online ad posted on backpage.com offering sex with two females including one that undercover agents said was "15, going on 16," according to arrest warrants. After arriving at the motel, Kennedy stated that "he wanted to have sex with both the underage juvenile and the other female in the room," placed $100 on the counter, removed his pants and was taken into custody. Kennedy, a married father of three, was responsible for ministry for the church's children from birth through fifth grade, according to a cached page of the church's website from Feb. 13, 2015. Parakh initially was one of 26 men cited for patronizing prostitutes and released, according to spokeswoman Susan Niland of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. But authorities since secured a warrant for his arrest on a felony trafficking charge although he had not yet been re- arrested Friday afternoon. “We wanted to make sure there is no safe place to hide for criminals who would victimize the most vulnerable among us,” Gwyn said. The Southern Baptist Convention lists Grace Baptist Church, celebrating its 100th year this year, as having more than 4,000 members with an average attendance of almost 2,500 people. The affiliation of Baptist churches has resources online to help a church's staff check the backgrounds of potential hires, but any background check will fall short if a person has no previous arrests. Parakh, a Chattanooga native, is a longtime friend of LifeHouse Church's lead pastor, who arrived at the Oak Ridge church in 2010, according to a cache of that church's website. The agents who posted advertisements on backpage.com received more than 300 inquiries, including more than two dozen contacts for the ad involving an underage girl, officials said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Franklin RE: Got mugged by W10 Dear Webby Last Saturday, after many months of no problems, Microsoft decided to take over her laptop and install win 10. I stopped the install, but now she gets a "warning" her win 7 is bogus and we cannot get a desktop background to stay. when she leaves the desktop to do something she comes back to a blank background and insinuations her copy was not purchased from Microsoft. What can be done as I cannot find our install disk? Thanks for your humor. Dear Franklin It is better to let it finish the mugging and then do an UNinstall. Just make sure you don't do the "Cleanup to save disk space", that it recommends. That dumps the W7 files. I wrote about it on May 19. A date easy to remember, the day before my birthday. I wrote: ================== Dear Esme DON'T clean up to free space after they sleaze in W10! Just do these steps. Open up Settings via the Start menu or the taskbar icon. Click Update & Security and then move to the Recovery section. Under the Go back to Windows 7 or Go back to Windows 8.1 heading, click Get started and you'll be guided through the rest of the process. That's pretty well all you have to do. If you want to read more about it, go to Details are at http://betanews.com/2015/08/17/how-to-u ... indows-10- and-go-back-to-windows-7-or-8-1/ ============ If she did the "Cleanup" and cremated Lazarus, then you can save all important files onto a removable drive or camera chips, and restore to factory default. You may have to call the computer maker's tech support and let them step you through restoring the factory default. That totally formats the machine, including the BIOS, and will make it like the day it was sold to you. That is why you have to copy any and all importart files onto other media. For programs, back up the downloaded setup files. You will have to re-install them after the format. Calling the Taliban at Microsoft is usually a total waste of time. Just follow the instructions above, and if that does not help, restore to factory default. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A small boy was standing near an escalator in a department store watching the moving handrail. "Is there anything wrong?" asked a saleslady. "Nope," he said, I'm just waiting for my gum to come around again. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Spiked Persimmon Cake By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] This is one of my favourite cakes to make around the holidays, or any time it's cold. The flavours are so comforting and the added alcohol gives a kick of warmth. Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 10 servings Ingredients: 5 super ripe persimmons 1 1/2 cup flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp orange zest 1 cup milk 1 cup sugar 2 eggs 2 Tbsp melted butter 1/4 cup rum or brandy whipped cream, ice cream, nuts for topping (optional) Steps: Preheat oven to 350°F. Pull out the stems of the persimmons. Using a spoon, scoop out the persimmon pulp and add to a bowl (throw out the skins). Mash the pulp with a fork Mix the flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda, nutmeg, cinnamon, and orange zest in a large bowl. Add the persimmon, milk, sugar, and eggs in another bowl and mix until blended. Add the melted butter and alcohol. Stir the flour mixture into the wet mixture little by little, making sure it's very well combined. Pour this mixture into a greased baking dish. Bake for 40-45 minutes. Use a toothpick to poke it, it's ready when it comes out clean. You'll also know its ready when the edges of the cake pull away from the baking dish and your home smells amazing! Expect it to be crispy at the edges, and extremely moist in the middle. Serve with whipped cream or ice cream and sprinkle of nuts. Source: A spin off a cross between my mother's persimmon bread and a recipe for brandy banana bread. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who contacted police working on a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect." ___________________________________________________
frog tries to catch fly on smart phone
____________________________________________________ There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mineshaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie." ____________________________________________________ One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where I am supposed to be going today!" ____________________________________________________
How in the world does he mold stone like this?

Today on May 24
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered 
 solar system.
1607 Captain Christopher Newport and 105 followers found 
 the colony of Jamestown at the mouth of the James River 
 on the coast of Virginia.
1624 After years of unprofitable operation Virginia’s 
 charter was revoked and it became a royal colony.
1689 The English Parliament passed Act of Toleration, 
 protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics were specifically 
 excluded from exemption.
1764 Bostonian lawyer James Otis denounced "taxation without
 representation" and called for the colonies to unite in 
 demonstrating their opposition to Britain’s new tax measures.
1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland was 
 imminent, Irish nationalists rose up against the British 
 occupation.
1830 The first passenger railroad service in the U.S. 
 began service.
1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first 
 telegraph line. The first message was sent from 
 Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was 
 "What hath God wrought?"
1878 The first American bicycle race was held in Boston.
1883 After 14 years of construction the Brooklyn Bridge 
 was opened to traffic.
1930 Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly from 
 England to Australia.
1941 The HMS Hood was sunk by the German battleship Bismarck 
 in the North Atlantic. Only three people survived.
1954 The first moving sidewalk in a railroad station was 
 opened in Jersey City, NJ.
1976 Britain and France opened trans-Atlantic Concorde 
 service to Washington.
1994 The four men convicted of bombing the New York's 
 World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years 
 in prison.
1999 39 miners were killed in an underground gas 
 explosion in the Ukraine.
2000 Five people were killed and two others wounded 
 when two gunmen entered a Wendy's restaurant in Flushing, 
 Queens, New York. The gunmen tied up the victims in the 
 basement and then shot them.
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives approved permanent 
 normal trade relations with China.
2000 A Democratic Party event for Al Gore in Washington 
 brought in $26.5 million. The amount set a new record.
2001 Temba Tsheri, 15, became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 
2016  smiled.


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Does OCR really work? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a WV man in Florida arrested after he shot the door of his hotel room, after he locked himself out. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 23, in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. -- Michael Pritchard _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Detroit, Michigan. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Detroit Metro Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Detroit public is advised to stay calm as absolutely NO ONE fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, is anywhere near the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. The police have just surrounded a department store in the center of Detroit. They've heard Bed Linen is on the second floor!
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It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Jon. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts, "Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!" The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Jon thought long and hard and then said, "Ten." At that the entire senior class and their teachers stood up and shouted, "Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!" ______________________________________________________ Marge was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favourite cure-all could no longer be bought without a prescription. "Look, lady. You can't have this without a prescription because it's been declared a habit-forming drug." "IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know: I've been taking it regularly for thirtyseven years!" ______________________________________________________ Fitz Roy, Patagonia ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by WV man in Florida arrested for shooting the door of his hotel room, after he locked himself out. Charles Richardson, 35, St. Pete Beach, Florida. Deputies say a St. Pete Beach hotel guest used a handgun to shoot the lock on his room door because he had locked himself out. Deputies: Man shoots hotel door because he got locked out Incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel on St. Pete Beach The incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel, located at 6200 Gulf Boulevard in St. Pete Beach, at approximately 7:58 a.m. on Thursday. According to deputies, when they arrived at the hotel they located the suspect, 35-year-old Charles Richardson, of Dunbar, West Virginia, sitting in the lobby unarmed. Deputies determined that Richardson, who was a guest at the hotel, used a handgun to shoot the lock on his hotel room door because he had locked himself out of his room. Deputies said Richardson then proceeded to shoot a glass window at the hotel for no apparent reason. No one was injured at the hotel as a result of the shooting. Deputies recovered the handgun near Richardson's hotel room. Richardson was arrested and transported to the Pinellas County Jail without incident. He was charged with two felony counts of shooting a deadly missile into/at/within an occupied building. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: William RE: Does OCR really work? Dear Webby I have about 150 pages of typewritten material I would like to put in a word processor and on a disk. Does this OCR software I see advertised really work? Thanks for the great jokes, and all of your tech pit help. William Dear William OCR programs have probably improved more than any other programs. Try a few of the free ones and see if they work well with the fonts used on that project. Some OCR programs take typewritten fonts quite nicely, others only work well with modern computer generated fonts. There are also a bunch of professional OCR programs that do cost some money, but are of higher quality and usually have spell checks built in. With the spell-checks you have to be careful and not let them automatically correct. They tend to work like the auto-correct on many programs, that substitute similar sounding but totally wrong words. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Jill's economic philosophy is middle of the road. She spends money left and right and center. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I . . . didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did." ___________________________________________________
Bird of paradise
____________________________________________________ Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the Spring break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. Mark was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked. "Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk." ____________________________________________________ Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'" ____________________________________________________
Stormtrooper Boogie .

Today on May 23
1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. 
 She was then sold to the English.
1533 Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon was 
 declared null and void.
1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of 
 the Reformation were thrown through a window.
1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after 
 being convicted of murder and piracy.
1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had 
 invented bifocals.
1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was 
 established. The organization's name was changed to 
 Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920.
1915 During World War I, Italy changed sides to join
 the Allies as they declared war on Austria-Hungary.
1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde 
 Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. 
 The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head 
 of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while 
 imprisoned by the Allied forces.
1949 The Republic of West Germany was established.
1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann 
 in Argentina.
1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the 
 Central Bank and took 200 hostages.
1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison 
 for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City 
 was demolished.
1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern 
 Ireland approved a peace accord.
1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when 
he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring. 
1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale 
 El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record 
 that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old. 
2016  smiled.


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How to make file name extensions visible 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, May 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman caught being too lazy to pay for shoplifted items Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 22, in 1570 Abraham Ortelius in Belgium published the first modern atlas. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living. --- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ida For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver. That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights. "What does a red light mean?" I asked. "Stop." "How about green?" "Go." "And yellow?" In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed, "Haaaanng on!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again, even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have messed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt! ______________________________________________________ Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me." ------------- That reminds me: A womans definition of a secret: Gossip which is spread only one person at a time. ______________________________________________________ Cool Duck! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Woman stole sex toys from Wal-Mart, said she was too lazy to pay. Therasa Prine, 25, St. Petersburg, Florida. A 25-year-old woman identified as Therasa Prine was arrested in St. Petersburg, Florida after police caught her stealing items from a local Walmart. Those items included a vibrating penis ring, arousal gel and other sex toys. When asked by the officer about why she didn't pay, Therasa's response was both funny and pathetic: She said she was "too lazy" to pay. We've heard a lot of shoplifting excuses but admitting to being lazy usually isn't part of a criminal's defense. Things quickly got less amusing for Ms. Prine when cops searched her purse and found pills and weed. Now she faces drug charges on top of the shoplifting charge. Therasa Prine has been arrested multiple times for everything from domestic violence to grand theft to resisting arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leon RE: How do I make file name extensions visible? Dear Webby My computer doesn't show any "Extensions" behind the file name. Is that a hardware problem or something that can be fixed b upgrading Windows? Leon Dear Leon Just open the File Explorer click on TOOLS click on FOLDER OPTIONS click on VIEW move the radio button to "SHOW hidden files and folders" take the checkmark off "Hide extensions" click APPLY click OK Now your Windows will show file extensions all of the time. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A lady had just finished taking a CPR course, and was on the lookout for a chance to try it out. As she left the shopping center, she saw a man lying on the road with a lot of people around him. Screaming, "I know CPR!", she ran to the person, threw her bag down, loosened all tight clothing and got ready to turn him around and start mouth-to-mouth. At this stage, a huge policeman tapped her on the shoulder and said: "Ma'am, I'm sure Ole appreciates your attention, but I am paying him by the quarter hour to try and fish my keys out of the storm sewer." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the audience. "Jones, never do that again!" the drill instructor whispered. But a few minutes later, the soldier waved a second time. Back in the barracks after the parade, the DI stormed in and barked for Jones to come front and center. "Son, you knew I was going to see you," he screamed. "You knew it was wrong. Aren't you afraid of me?" "Yes, SIR!" replied Jones. "But you don't know my mother! You better hide quickly. I can hear her truck approaching, SIR!" ___________________________________________________
Historical everyday pictures
____________________________________________________ During a lull between the speeches at the recent White House Correspondent's dinner, Michelle Obama leans over to chat with Joe Biden. "Ya know, I bought Barack a parrot for his birthday. The bird is so smart, Barack has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred words!" "Wow, that's pretty impressive," says Joe, "but, you do realize that he just speaks the words -- he doesn't really understand what they mean." "Oh, I know," Michelle replies, "Neither does the parrot." ____________________________________________________ A man and his wife hadn't been out to dinner in a long time and they decided to try a restaurant they had never been to before. They were seated and, as they looked over the menu, they noticed some movement at a nearby table, but there were no people there. As they took a closer look, they saw that there were mice on the table, eating the un-cleared leftovers from the group that had been sitting there. The man was shocked and called the manager over. He pointed at the table and said, "Look! There are mice on that table!" The manager scratched his head and calmly said, "Now, that's odd. They usually stay in the kitchen." ____________________________________________________
Beautiful Spring in different parts of the world.

Today on May 22
1246 Henry Raspe was elected anti-king by the Rhenish 
 prelates in France.
1455 King Henry VI was taken prisoner by the Yorkists at the 
 Battle of St. Albans, during the War of the Roses.
1570 Abraham Ortelius in Belgium published the first modern
atlas.
1819 The steamship Savannah became the first to cross the 
 Atlantic Ocean.
1841 Henry Kennedy received a patent for the first reclining chair.
1849 Abraham Lincoln received a patent for the floating dry dock.
1868 Near Marshfield, IN, The "Great Train Robbery" took place. 
 The robbery was worth $96,000 in cash, gold and bonds to the 
 seven members of the Reno gang.
1872 The Amnesty Act restored civil rights to Southerners.
1882 The U.S. formally recognized Korea.
1891 The first public motion picture was given in Thomas Edison's lab.
1892 Dr. Sheffield, a British dentist, invented the toothpaste tube.
1908 The Wright brothers registered their flying machine for a U.S. patent.
1939 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini signed a military alliance 
 between Germany and Italy known as the "Pact of Steel."
1955 A scheduled dance to be headlined by Fats Domino was canceled by 
 police in Bridgeport, Connecticut because "rock and roll dances might be featured."
1969 A lunar module of Apollo 10 flew within nine miles of the moon's surface. 
 The event was a rehearsal for the first lunar landing.
1972 The island Ceylon adopted a new constitution and became the 
 republic of Sri Lanka.
1990 Microsoft released Windows 3.0.
2002 Chandra Levy's remains were found in Washington, DC's Rock Creek Park. 
 She was last seen on April 30, 2001. 
2016  smiled.


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What are double extensions on file names? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, May 21

Thanks to all who sent Birthday wishes! There was no way
I could reply to each, ho here is a Thank You to all of you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado woman, who robbed a bank while babysitting kids Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 21, in 0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. --- Jack London (1876 - 1916) "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." --- Harry Golden Promise? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. Before I could tell her that all the infor- mation she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth date changed?" Here they ask you for the date of birth as a kind of password. If you don't know it, they tell you to get lost. ______________________________________________________ >From Dennis There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with. The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Colorado woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids Rachel Einspahr, 28, Weld County, Colorado A Colorado woman is facing charges of robbery and child abuse after allegedly attempting to rob a bank while babysitting two kids. Rachel Einspahr, 28, was arrested Friday afternoon after police said she robbed the drive-through window of the Colorado East Bank & Trust in Severance. According to the release from the Weld County Sheriff’s Office, Einspahr passed a note to the teller through a vacuum tube stating that there was a man in her car who was threatening to harm her children if he didn’t get money. The note read, “Do not sound alarm, the man in the very back wants $100s and $50s … no dye packs or trackers … he has gun on my kids,” according to CBS Denver. Fearing lives were in danger, the teller gave the suspect $500, who drove off in a white Nissan SUV. After the robbery was reported, deputies secured the bank and canvased the area. A vehicle matching the teller’s description was discovered a short distance from the bank, according to the Coloradoan. Investigators interviewed Einspahr and her employer, and discovered she had been hired to babysit the two kids who had been in the back of the SUV used in the robbery, according to Coloradoan.com. The kids were unharmed during the robbery. Einspahr told police, “I can’t go back to jail,” according to the Denver Channel. At first, Einspahr maintained that an unknown man forced her to go to the bank and get money, but police said she eventually admitting planning the robbery. Her motive, according to police, was to use the money to pay $15,000 as part of a restitution/plea deal for previous offenses, according to the arrest affidavit. Einspahr has an open case in Evans for over 30 counts of forgery, ID theft and felony theft and a second open case in Larimer County on two counts of ID theft, according to the paperwork. Einspahr was charged with one count of robbery and two counts of child abuse. She remains behind bars at the Weld County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marge RE: What are Double Extensions Dear Webby I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot it could be some malware like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook Express address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Snickerdoodle Wraps By attosa [202 Posts, 485 Comments] You would never guess these crispy wraps were made of flour tortillas. They are like thin cookies crossed with crepes with a creamy filling. You can use a variety of fillings like cream cheese, ricotta, or sour cream. I went with yogurt. I can assure you when you take your first bite, you'll be absolutely addicted. These are great for any time of the day, and even make a fantastic dessert. Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: 2 wraps Ingredients: 2 medium flour tortillas 2 Tbsp yogurt (or cream cheese, ricotta, sour cream) 1 Tbsp jam 1/4 cup sugar 2 tsp cinnamon oil for frying Steps: Spread tortilla with yogurt. Add a thin layer of jam. Tightly wrap, removing any filling that oozes out the sides. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Repeat. You can use a toothpick to secure the wrap. I like to dab a bit of yogurt on the end flap to seal. Works great. Mix together your cinnamon and sugar thoroughly. This will be for dipping after the frying process. Add a couple tablespoons of oil to a pan on high heat. Fry the wraps until golden brown, about 1 minute on each side. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Drain on paper towels for 10 seconds. Roll the wraps in the cinnamon sugar. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Check out these amazing layers! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls! He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders." ___________________________________________________
the nature of God
____________________________________________________ Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. ---- No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party. ---- The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover. ---- Women are only fertile a few days each month... unless they're single. ____________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me in advance." "Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA." After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist: "OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled events?" The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted: "Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?" ____________________________________________________
I could be so happy living in Devonshire, England, Monsanto, Portugal, Hobbiton, New Zealand...

Today on May 21
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London. 
 Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain 
 Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City. 
 They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first 
 national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable 
 tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop 
 airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to 
 fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the 
 Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men 
 aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later 
 found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at 
 Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR, 
 killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic 
 rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his 
 parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a 
 butyric acid-attacker. 
2016  smiled.


[ view entry ]   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 55 )
What are double extensions on file names? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, May 21

Thanks to all who sent Birthday wishes! There was no way
I could reply to each, ho here is a Thank You to all of you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado woman, who robbed a bank while babysitting kids Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 21, in 0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. --- Jack London (1876 - 1916) "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." --- Harry Golden Promise? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. Before I could tell her that all the infor- mation she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth date changed?" Here they ask you for the date of birth as a kind of password. If you don't know it, they tell you to get lost. ______________________________________________________ >From Dennis There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with. The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Colorado woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids Rachel Einspahr, 28, Weld County, Colorado A Colorado woman is facing charges of robbery and child abuse after allegedly attempting to rob a bank while babysitting two kids. Rachel Einspahr, 28, was arrested Friday afternoon after police said she robbed the drive-through window of the Colorado East Bank & Trust in Severance. According to the release from the Weld County Sheriff’s Office, Einspahr passed a note to the teller through a vacuum tube stating that there was a man in her car who was threatening to harm her children if he didn’t get money. The note read, “Do not sound alarm, the man in the very back wants $100s and $50s … no dye packs or trackers … he has gun on my kids,” according to CBS Denver. Fearing lives were in danger, the teller gave the suspect $500, who drove off in a white Nissan SUV. After the robbery was reported, deputies secured the bank and canvased the area. A vehicle matching the teller’s description was discovered a short distance from the bank, according to the Coloradoan. Investigators interviewed Einspahr and her employer, and discovered she had been hired to babysit the two kids who had been in the back of the SUV used in the robbery, according to Coloradoan.com. The kids were unharmed during the robbery. Einspahr told police, “I can’t go back to jail,” according to the Denver Channel. At first, Einspahr maintained that an unknown man forced her to go to the bank and get money, but police said she eventually admitting planning the robbery. Her motive, according to police, was to use the money to pay $15,000 as part of a restitution/plea deal for previous offenses, according to the arrest affidavit. Einspahr has an open case in Evans for over 30 counts of forgery, ID theft and felony theft and a second open case in Larimer County on two counts of ID theft, according to the paperwork. Einspahr was charged with one count of robbery and two counts of child abuse. She remains behind bars at the Weld County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marge RE: What are Double Extensions Dear Webby I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot it could be some malware like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook Express address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Snickerdoodle Wraps By attosa [202 Posts, 485 Comments] You would never guess these crispy wraps were made of flour tortillas. They are like thin cookies crossed with crepes with a creamy filling. You can use a variety of fillings like cream cheese, ricotta, or sour cream. I went with yogurt. I can assure you when you take your first bite, you'll be absolutely addicted. These are great for any time of the day, and even make a fantastic dessert. Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: 2 wraps Ingredients: 2 medium flour tortillas 2 Tbsp yogurt (or cream cheese, ricotta, sour cream) 1 Tbsp jam 1/4 cup sugar 2 tsp cinnamon oil for frying Steps: Spread tortilla with yogurt. Add a thin layer of jam. Tightly wrap, removing any filling that oozes out the sides. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Repeat. You can use a toothpick to secure the wrap. I like to dab a bit of yogurt on the end flap to seal. Works great. Mix together your cinnamon and sugar thoroughly. This will be for dipping after the frying process. Add a couple tablespoons of oil to a pan on high heat. Fry the wraps until golden brown, about 1 minute on each side. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Drain on paper towels for 10 seconds. Roll the wraps in the cinnamon sugar. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Check out these amazing layers! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls! He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders." ___________________________________________________
the nature of God
____________________________________________________ Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. ---- No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party. ---- The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover. ---- Women are only fertile a few days each month... unless they're single. ____________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me in advance." "Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA." After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist: "OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled events?" The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted: "Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?" ____________________________________________________
I could be so happy living in Devonshire, England, Monsanto, Portugal, Hobbiton, New Zealand...

Today on May 21
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London. 
 Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain 
 Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City. 
 They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first 
 national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable 
 tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop 
 airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to 
 fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the 
 Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men 
 aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later 
 found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at 
 Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR, 
 killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic 
 rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his 
 parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a 
 butyric acid-attacker. 
2016  smiled.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Female drug dealer indicted for her sex with pit bull stored on her phone. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 20, in 1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." The trip took 33 1/2 hours. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ WOMAN SUES HOSPITAL A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted into Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Bob, a trendy dresser, fancied himself quite a romeo, and was delighted to find a note pinned inside a new shirt. It contained a girl's name and address, and asked the recipient to send a photograph. How romantic, he thought to himself, very taken with the idea of this mystery woman so eager to meet him, and promptly mailed off a note and a photo. Heart aflutter, he opened her response. It read, "Thanks for writing. I was just curious to see what kind of guy would buy such a goofy shirt." ______________________________________________________ A priest had the weight of the world on him and was showing the effects. The church sent him to a psychiatrist, who ordered him to take a week off. The priest went to the largest city in the area. After about a dozen belts of neat whiskey, he found himself in one of the city's clip joints. A very well built waitress in a flimsy, low-cut uniform came over and asked, "What'll it be, Father?" The priest felt to see if he was still wearing his collar by mistake, but he had none on. "How did you know I'm a priest? he asked. The waitress laughed: "I'm Sister Mary Margaret. I go to the same psychiatrist!" ______________________________________________________ Italian Valleys From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Female drug-dealing suspect accused of having sex with PITBULL and filming it on her mobile phone Jenna Louise Driscoll, 25, Enoggera, Australia Jenna Louise Driscoll was being investigated by police on suspicion of drug trafficking when officers claim they found shocking bestiality footage A woman will stand trial for bestiality after police claim to have found a video of her having sex with a dog . Jenna Louise Driscoll will was being investigated by cops on suspicion of drug trafficking. When they examined her phone as part of the case they found footage of a woman - said to be Driscoll - having sexual intercourse with the dog. She has now officially been indicted on bestiality and drug trafficking charges, reports the Brisbane Courier Mail . Lawyers for 25-year-old Driscoll, from Enoggera, were in Australia's Supreme Court this morning. Prosecutors officially indicted Driscoll on two indictments, each containing three charges. The suspect did not appear in court as she was legally represented. The drug charges related to trafficking in cannabis. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lynn RE: Double Extensions Dear Webby I know you said to always trash any attachments that have two extensions, because they never have anythin worthwhile but usually something harmful. My brother sent me a letter that had an attachment with two extensions, so I deleted it and told him to clean up his act. He told me they are not bad, and that it can happen when one picks up a page saved from the net and opens it with a spreadsheet program. He told me not to worry about double extensions. Lynn Dear Lynn Yes, it can happen, if somebody is too absentminded to save a file properly, just like it can happen that somebody like him watches people on the other side of the street,- and walks into a lightpole. Only somebody who has walked into too many light poles would tell anybody to not worry about double extensions. There may be the odd harmless ooops, but with double extensions the hostile and dangerous files outnumber the ooopses by a huge margin. With viruses and worms it is much smarter to err on the safe side. You did the smart thing. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?" "I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily. "Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?" The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Drying a Toilet Brush By Litter Gitter [166 Posts, 591 Comments] After you finish, just stick the brush under the seat to hold it in place while the water drips off and the brush dries. Solves the problem of water and gunk collecting in your brush holder. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Here is an old classic, returned by Collette: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ___________________________________________________
Scott Joplin's Peachrine Rag
____________________________________________________ Instead of a wise king, we have whoever is left over when each half of the country votes against one of the competing manure spreaders. ____________________________________________________ One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over to the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one with the beard, mustache and glasses, - and no horns." ____________________________________________________
Fascinating Wire Mesh Sculptures

Today on May 200325 - The Ecumenical council was inaugurated by Emperor 
 Constantine in Nicea, Asia Minor.
1303 A peace treaty was signed between England and France 
 over the town of Gascony.
1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty.
1520 Hernando Cortez defeated Spanish troops that had been 
 sent to punish him in Mexico.
1690 England passed the Act of Grace, forgiving followers 
 of James II.
1674 John Sobieski became Poland’s first King.
1774 Britain's Parliament passed the Coercive Acts to 
 punish the American colonists for their increasingly 
 anti-British behavior
1775 North Carolina became the first colony to declare 
 its independence. This is the date that is on the George 
 state flag even though the date of this event has been 
 questioned.
1784 The Peace of Versailles ended a war between France, 
 England, and Holland.
1830 The fountain pen was patented by H.D. Hyde.
1861 North Carolina became the eleventh state to secede from the Union.
1861 During the American Civil War, the capital of the 
 Confederacy was moved from Montgomery, AL, to Richmond, VA.
1874 Levi Strauss began marketing blue jeans with copper rivets.
1899 Jacob German of New York City became the first driver to 
 be arrested for speeding. The posted speed limit was 12 miles 
 per hour.
1902 The U.S. military occupation of Cuba ended.
1902 Cuba gained its independence from Spain.
1926 The U.S. Congress passed the Air Commerce Act. The act 
 gave the Department of Commerce the right to license pilots 
 and planes.
1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the 
 Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." 
 The trip took 33 1/2 hours.
1930 The first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible.
1932 Amelia Earhart took off to fly solo across the  Atlantic 
 Ocean. She became the first woman to achieve the feat.
1941 Germany invaded Crete by air.
1942 Japan completed the conquest of Burma.
1949 DearWebby was born in Rankweil, Austria
1961 A white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery, AL. 
 The event prompted the federal government to send U.S. marshals.
1969 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Apbia Mountain, 
 which was referred to as Hamburger Hill.
1970 100,000 people marched in New York supporting U.S. policies 
 in Vietnam.
1978 Mavis Hutchinson, at age 53, became the first woman to run 
 across America. It took Hutchinson 69 days to run the 3,000 miles.
1990 The Hubble Space Telescope sent back its first photographs.
1993 The final episode of "Cheers" was aired on NBC-TV.
1996 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Colorado measure 
 banning laws that would protect homosexuals from discrimination.
2010 Scientists announced that they had created a funtional 
 synthetic genome.
2010 Five paintings worth 100 million Euro were stolen from the Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris. 

2016  smiled.


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What to do when you get mugged by W10 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, May 19

Good Luck!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear. He got 25 years for child porn on forgoten thumbdrive. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 19, in 1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King Henry VIII, was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery. 1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the Queen of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned by Queen Elizabeth. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ May, 1961 "We will put men on the moon." John F. Kennedy May, 2016 "We will put men in women's restrooms." Barack Obama _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks were provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop- sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her grew quickly. The man in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously, as Jill continued trying to get the car to started again. Finally, Jill got out of her car and approached the man in the car behind her. She smiled and said to him, "I can't seem to get my car started. Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you." ______________________________________________________ Returning from a trip to visit his grandmother in Canada, Bill was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, Bill gave him a small bag of his grandmother's delicious chocolate chip cookies and proceeded on his way. Later, he was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done now?" he asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate chip cookies." ______________________________________________________ From Noella ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mother caught drunk and drinking beer with her 2 year old strapped in the back seat. This at the drive thru at Arby's in Chenango, New York. Rebecca Shoemaker, 30, Birmingham, New York Police have arrested a Binghamton mother after they say she was caught drinking a beer while going through an Arby's drive-thru. New York State Police say the arrest occurred after troopers responded to reports that Rebecca Shoemaker, 30, of Binghamton, was drinking a beer while in the drive-thru at Arby's on Upper Front Street in the Town of Chenango. Police say Shoemaker was driving while intoxicated while she had her 2-year-old child in the back seat. Police say she refused to take a breath test to determine her BAC. She's been charged with the felony of aggravated DWI because a child under the age of 16 was allegedly in her vehicle. She was issued tickets returnable to Town of Chenango Court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Esme RE: What to do if I get mugged by W10? Dear Webby I turned off the automatic updates as advised ­ but I was viewing facebook when the pc stopped and started installing Windows 10! I don't think I pressed a wrongť button but who knows? Is this the latest way to get you converted. regards Esme Dear Esme DON'T clean up to free space after they sleaze in W10! Just do these steps. Open up Settings via the Start menu or the taskbar icon. Click Update & Security and then move to the Recovery section. Under the Go back to Windows 7 or Go back to Windows 8.1 heading, click Get started and you'll be guided through the rest of the process. That's pretty well all you have to do. If you want to read more about it, go to Details are at http://betanews.com/2015/08/17/how-to-u ... indows-10- and-go-back-to-windows-7-or-8-1/ Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering." "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $2500 down, and payments of $550 for 24 months, plus payments for extras." "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!" "Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Drying a Toilet Brush By Litter Gitter [166 Posts, 591 Comments] After you finish, just stick the brush under the seat to hold it in place while the water drips off and the brush dries. Solves the problem of water and gunk collecting in your brush holder. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, You're the father of twins." "What a coincidence," the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team." The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets." "Wow, That's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation." My buddies at work will never let me live this one down. An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back, this time she turn to the 3rd man - who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me! Another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally regaining his composure, he said "I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel." After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness. When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over again. "I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven... "I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven... "I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven..." ___________________________________________________
Johnny Carson/Dom DeLuise - the eggs
____________________________________________________ A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, "What?" ____________________________________________________ The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent. Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer." "Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver a pizza." ____________________________________________________
28 Dog And Cat Species That You Had No Idea Existed

Today on May 19
1535 French explorer Jacques Cartier set sail for 
 North America.
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King 
 Henry VIII, was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery.
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the 
 Queen of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned 
 by Queen Elizabeth.
1588 The Spanish Armada set sail from Lisbon to England.
1608 The Protestant states formed the Evangelical Union 
 of Lutherans and Calvinists.
1643 French army defeated a Spanish army at Rocroi, France.
1796 The first U.S. game law was approved. The measure called 
 for penalties for hunting or destroying game within 
 Indian territory.
1847 The first English-style railroad coach was placed in 
 service on the Fall River Line in Massachusetts.
1857 The electric fire alarm system was patented by William 
 F. Channing and Moses G. Farmer.
1858 A pro-slavery band led by Charles Hameton executed 
 unarmed Free State men near Marais des Cygnes on the 
 Kansas-Missouri border.
1864 The Union and Confederate armies launched their last 
 attacks against each other at Spotsylvania in Virginia.
1911 The first American criminal conviction that was 
 based on fingerprint evidence occurred in New York City.
1921 The U.S. Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act, 
 which established national quotas for immigrants.
1926 Thomas Edison spoke on the radio for the first time.
1926 Benito Mussolini announced that democracy was deceased. 
 Rome became a fascist state.
1926 In Damascus, Syria, French shells killed 600 people.
1935 T.E. Lawrence "Lawrence of Arabia" died from injuries 
 in a motorcycle crash in England.
1943 Winston Churchill told the U.S. Congress that his country 
 was pledging their full support in the war against Japan.
1958 Canada and the U.S. formally established the 
 North American Air Defense Command.
1962 Marilyn Monroe performed a sultry rendition of 
 "Happy Birthday" for U.S. President John F. Kennedy. The 
 event was a fund-raiser at New York's Madison Square Garden.
1964 The U.S. State Department reported that diplomats had 
 found about 40 microphones planted in the U.S. Embassy 
 in Moscow.
1967 The Soviet Union ratified a treaty with the US and 
 Britain that banned nuclear weapons from outer space.
1967 U.S. planes bombed Hanoi for the first time.
1988 In Jacksonville, FL, Carlos Lehder Rivas was convicted 
 of smuggling more than three tons of cocaine into the US. 
 Rivas was the co-founder of Colombia's Medellin drug cartel.
1992 In Massapequa, NY, Mary Jo Buttafuoco was shot and 
 seriously wounded by Amy Fisher. Fisher was her husband 
 Joey's teen-age lover.
1998 In Russia, strikes broke out over unpaid wages.
1998 Bandits stole three of Rome's most important paintings 
 from the National Gallery of Modern Art.
1999 "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" was released 
 in the U.S. It set a new record for opening day sales at 
 28.5 million.
2000 The bones of the most complete and best-preserved 
 Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton went on display in Chicago.
2000 Disney released the movie "Dinosaur." 
2003 It was announced that Worldcom Inc. would pay investors 
 $500 million to settle civil fraud charges over its $11 
 billion accounting scandal.
2003 Hundreds of Albert Einstein's scientific papers, personal 
 letters and humanist essays were made available on the Internet. 
 Einstein had given the papers to the Hebrew Universtiy of 
 Jerusalem in his will.
2005 "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" brought in 
 50.0 million in its opening day.


2016  smiled.


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How do I turn automatic updates off? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, May 18

Good Luck!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear. He got 25 years for child porn on forgoten thumbdrive. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 18, in 1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people were killed and 3 billion in damage was done. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?" As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son piped up, "I know! It's the one they have in front of the grocery store."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ______________________________________________________ Bill loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear gets 25 years for child porn Haschel Capps, 34, England An Arkansas petsitter arrested earlier this year after an investigation into explicit photos of young girls found on a thumb drive has pleaded guilty to child pornography charges. Pulaski County sheriff’s office spokesman Capt. Carl Minden said in a statement Friday that Haschel Capps, 34, of England was sentenced to 25 years in prison as part of a plea deal. Capps’ arrest in January came after a man reported finding Capps — who had been hired to watch over the man’s pets during an out-of-town trip — wearing women’s underwear and using a laptop in his home in August 2014, according to a report. The homeowner told the sheriff's office that the two then got into an argument and he kicked Capps out of the residence. The man reported in October of that year to the sheriff’s office that he had found a thumb drive in his couch that contained photos of “small girls nude and in a pornographic nature.” That drive also contained photos of Capps wearing women’s underwear, apparently taken by someone else, he told authorities. Capps remained at the Pulaski County jail as of Friday evening, according to an inmate roster. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom RE: How do I turn automatic updates off? Dear Webby Good Morning, -- at least it was -- I have a Toshiba laptop, about 4 years old, with Windoze 7. Question, How do I find out if it has an ASUS motherboard and, if I do, how do I turn off auto update? This was my wife's machine and has a few sticcky keys which got that way from spilled wine (don't ask) As usual, I enjoy your site and this notice about Windows 7 has me buffaloed. My desktop is running Windows 8.1 and my little netbook is using XP which works for me. I also have a tablet running on Android so I assume that is safe, at least for now. tom DearTom! Writer to Toshiba support and ask them. re Updates: Open Windows Update by clicking the Start button In the search box, type Update, and then, in the list of results, clickWindows Update. In the left pane, click Change settings. Choose the option that you want. Personally, I let McAfee take care of that. It checks for updates and then lets me choose which ones I want, and which ones I don't want. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ my friend Roland, a long time subscriber and frequent contributor wrote me today: Dear Webby Lost my job today. Came into work on time... I did exactly what the boss told me to do! I followed all the rules, and never once disrespected anybody. Then, the first time I ever had a chance to drive one of them forklifts, I made one little mistake, and everyone starts running around in circles screaming and shouting. You'd think I blew the place up or something, the way people were looking at me afterwards! I don't understand it... I didn't mean to do it... It was just a little accident, nobody got hurt and the forklift didn't even get scratched. Everyone messes up some time, it could've happened to anyone! I have no idea why they got so uptight and fired me. Do you think it might be discrimination? Why Roland got laid off ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Brownie Bowls By Judy Pariser S. [99 Posts, 102 Comments] When you put your pudding, ice cream, or fruit in a homemade brownie bowl, you can eat the dish! Approximate Time: 25 min prep, 30 to bake Yield: 12 bowls Ingredients: Brownie mix or recipe* for an 8-inch square pan of brownies 4 muffin tins *Here is the link to my brownie recipe: Best Brownies Steps: Grease and flour the cups of one muffin tin. Fill the first muffin tins no more than 2/3 full of batter. Grease and flour the underside of the second muffin tin. Press the second tin on top of the first. Repeat with the third and fourth muffin tin. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-30 minutes. Let cool completely before you separate the tins. Fill with ice cream, pudding, or fruit. You may top with whipped cream, if you wish. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the dollar. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy." ___________________________________________________
inside Blue Angels
____________________________________________________ A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information. The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a pause. Then she said, "You misspelled TEACH." ____________________________________________________ A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody, nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!" ____________________________________________________
"The Old New World" Photo-based animation project.

Today on May 18
1302 The weaver Peter de Coningk led a massacre of the 
 Flemish oligarchs.
1642 Montreal, Canada, was founded.
1643 Queen Anne, the widow of Louis XIII, was granted sole 
 and absolute power as regent by the Paris parliament, 
 overriding the late king's will.
1652 In Rhode Island, a law was passed that made slavery 
 illegal in North America. It was the first law of its kind.
1792 Russian troops invaded Poland.
1802 Great Britain declared war on Napoleon's France.
1804 Napoleon Bonaparte was proclaimed emperor by the 
 French Senate.
1828 Battle of Las Piedras ended the conflict between 
 Uruguay and Brazil.
1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Selective Service act, 
 which called up soldiers to fight in World War I.
1926 Evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson vanished while 
 visiting a beach in Venice, CA. She reappeared a month 
 later with the claim that she had been kidnapped.
1931 Japanese pilot Seiji Yoshihara crashed his plane in the 
 Pacific Ocean while trying to be the first to cross the ocean 
 nonstop. He was picked up seven hours later by a passing ship.
1933 The Tennessee Valley Authority was created.
1934 The U.S. Congress approved an act, known as the "Lindberg Act," 
 that called for the death penalty in interstate kidnapping cases.
1944 Monte Cassino, Europe's oldest Monastic house, was 
 finally captured by the Allies in Italy.
1953 The first woman to fly faster than the speed of sound, 
 Jacqueline Cochran, piloted an F-86 Sabrejet over California 
 at an average speed of 652.337 miles-per-hour.
1974 India became the sixth nation to explode an atomic bomb.
1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people 
 were killed and 3 billion in damage was done.
1983 The U.S. Senate revised immigration laws and gave millions 
 of illegal aliens legal status under an amnesty program.
1994 Israel's three decades of occupation in the Gaza Strip 
 ended as Israeli troops completed their withdrawal and 
 Palestinian authorities took over.
1998 The U.S. federal government and 20 states filed a 
 sweeping antitrust case against Microsoft Corp., saying the 
 computer software company had a "choke hold" on competitors 
 which denied consumer choices by controlling 90% of the 
 software market.
1998 U.S. federal officials arrested more than 130 people 
 and seized $35 million. This was the end to an investigation 
 of money laundering being done by a dozen Mexican banks and 
 two drug-smuggling cartels. 
2016  smiled.


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Where do spammers get the addresses from? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 17

If you use Windows 7 and have an ASUS motherboard, turn
auto-update off NOW!

Make 100% sure you don't do the W7 Murder update #
KB3133977

Microsoft did update the support document for KB3133977
with a warning which states: “After you install
update 3133977 on a Windows 7 x64-based system that
includes an Asus-based main board, the system does not
start”.
 
They warned you about their cold blooded murder.
If you DID let KB3133977 sleaze in, DO NOT try to
restart! It will not start up again, ever.

Carefully back up everything you will need on your next
machine onto an external drive or camera chips or onto
the net.

Then order your next machine.

Details are at
Microsoft kills W7 on machines
with ASUS motherboards

Microsoft knew about this in advance, but it has no
plans to do anything about it. You can always buy a W10
machine.

The only not quite so bad news is that you can take the
hard drive from the murdered W7 machine, put it into an
USB drive enclosure, and plug it into a W7 machine, that
has not been murdered yet, and transfer the  data to
that machine. IF you have such a machine sitting around.

Other than that, you can buy a W10 machine and plug the
USB drive into that. 

Keep an eye out for a KB3133977 blocker, but be aware
that Microsoft is out to kill W7. They are not going to
let it live forever like XP.

ASUS has a way toget around Microsoft's bomb, IF you
have another machine to read the isntructions at
go to the following Asus support website to learn how to
disable Secure Boot for Windows 7 or print them out
beforehand.
http://www.asus.com/support/FAQ/1016356/

Good Luck!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Man who smashed ‘Molotov cocktail’ into cop car ‘wanted to go to jail.’ Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 17, in 1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former Miami police officers of fatally beating black insurance executive Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in the rioting. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. --- Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951) "To get rich, never risk your health. For it is the truth that health is the wealth of wealth." --— Richard Baker _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A small company that had frequent break-ins installed a new security system with alarms, codes and key pads. Late one night the alarm went off and the police raced to the scene. Outside the building, wandering around the grounds, they spotted and apprehended a suspect. The police called the Security Director for the company and said, "We caught the culprit, an old guy with a cane, well dressed, but kinda slow. He tried to pass as an employee, but he knows nothing about your business." The Security Director said, "Oh, that's the president of the company. He can never remember his exit code."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!" ______________________________________________________ The Father knocked on the bathroom door where his teenage daughter had been taking a bath for over an hour. "Cindy! Just how long will you be in that bathtub?" From the other side of the door came an exasperated reply: "Oh Daddy! Water affects your weight, not your height. I'm still 5'4"!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Man who smashed ‘Molotov cocktail’ into cop car ‘wanted to go to jail.’ Jose Rodriguez 28 Gloucester City, New Jersey A Gloucester City who man was arrested for allegedly lighting a “Molotov cocktail” and smashing it into a marked police car Saturday said he did it because he wanted to go to jail, authorities said. Gloucester City police say 28-year-old Jose E. Rodriguez walked into the parking lot of the police department around 8:17 p.m. carrying a Molotov cocktail. Authorities say he set it ablaze and then smashed the device against the side of a marked 2015 Ford Explorer. When police went to the parking lot to extinguish the flames, they found Rodriguez standing in the lot and asked if he saw the person who started the fire. “When the officers asked the male if he saw who started the fire, he told them he did because he wanted to go to jail,” police said in a statement on their Facebook page. Following an investigation, Rodriguez was charged with aggravated arson, possession of a weapon, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and criminal mischief. He is being held in Camden County Jail on $100,000 bail. Authorities say the patrol vehicle only sustained minor damage. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jean RE: Spam from known addresses Dear Webby Some of the spam I get is from addresses that I KNOW are not spammers. How can one tell where the spam is really coming from? And WHERE do they get the return addresses from that they forge onto their spam? Jean Dear Jean If you have ever forwarded a sappy chain letter, that was a thinly disguised harvesting of addresses, or if you have a Yahoo or AOL a ddress, or if you work for the hacked US Government or any of the hacked companies, then your address is in the hands of the spammers. If you have MailWasher, it will reveal the actual FROM address, that they disguise with your or a friend's address. There is no point writing back to spammers. They usually just use disposable addresses, that they never check anyway. Just dump the spam. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Paper Tea Light Shades By ShirleyE [76 Posts, 56 Comments] These beautiful light shades will give a beautiful fairy grotto feel to a springtime buffet. Use electric tea lights rather than real candles so there is no danger of the paper catching on fire. Supplies: A5 coloured paper pencil thumb tack/drawing pin a chopping board, corrugated card, or polystyrene tile double sided sticky tape electric tea light Steps: Draw a simple design onto your paper. If you don't have any A5 paper, just cut a sheet of A4 in half. Place your design onto your chopping board, corrugated card, or polystyrene tile to protect your work surface. Use the thumb tack or other sharp tool to make holes along the lines of your design. If your design includes words, don't forget to write the letters backwards. Apply double sided sticky tape to one short edge. Curl the paper into a cylinder and secure with the tape. Turn on your light, place inside the tube and enjoy the display. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Lately at a restaurant I overheard the couple at the next table discuss their bill. "Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm worth at least $ 137,000." ___________________________________________________
inside Blue Angels
____________________________________________________ A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning; he felt that in this suit he could really do business. As he was preening in front of the mirror, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets. To his surprise, he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did." The tailor then said, "Whoever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?" ____________________________________________________ A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. ____________________________________________________
Serenity for your soul. I wonder what it's like to live in these charming villages from around the world.

Today on May 17
1540 Afghan chief Sher Khan defeated Mongul Emperor 
 Humayun at Kanauj.
1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi saw the belts on 
 Jupiter's surface.
1681 Louis XIV sent an expedition to aid James II in 
 Ireland. As a result, England declares war on France.
1756 Britain declared war on France again, beginning 
 the French and Indian War.
1792 The New York Stock Exchange was founded at 70 Wall 
 Street by 24 brokers.
1814 Denmark ceded Norway to Sweden. Norway's constitution, 
 which provided a limited monarchy, was signed.
1875 The first Kentucky Derby was run at Louisville, KY.
1877 The first telephone switchboard burglar alarm was 
 installed by Edwin T. Holmes.
1932 The U.S. Congress changed the name "Porto Rico" 
 to "Puerto Rico."
1940 Germany occupied Brussels, Belgium and began the 
 invasion of France.
1946 U.S. President Truman seized control of the nation's 
 railroads, delaying a threatened strike by engineers 
 and trainmen.
1948 The Soviet Union recognized the new state of Israel.
1954 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled for school 
 integration in Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka. 
 The ruling declared that racially segregated schools were 
 inherently unequal.
1956 The first synthetic mica (synthamica) was offered for 
 sale in Caldwell Township, NJ.
1973 The U.S. Senate Watergate Committee began its hearings.
1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood 
 after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former Miami 
 police officers of fatally beating black insurance executive 
 Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in the rioting.
1985 Bobby Ewing died on the season finale of "Dallas" 
 on CBS-TV. He returned the following season.
1987 An Iraqi warplane attacked the U.S. Navy frigate Stark 
 in the Persian Gulf, killing 37 American sailors. Iraq 
 and the United States called the attack a mistake.
1996 U.S. President Clinton signed a measure requiring 
 neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in. 
 Megan's Law was named for 7-year-old Megan Kanka, who 
 was raped and killed in 1994.
1997 Rebel leader Kabila declared himself president of the 
 Democratic Republic of the Congo, formerly Zaire.
2000 Thomas E. Blanton Jr. and David Luker surrendered to police 
 in Birmingham, AL. The two former Ku Klux Klan members were 
 arrested on charges from the bombing of a church in 1963 that 
 killed four young black girls.
2000 Austria, the U.S. and six other countries agreed on the 
 broad outline of a plan that would compensate Nazi-Era 
 forced labor.
2001 The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp based on 
 Charles M. Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip.
2006 The U.S. aircraft carrier Oriskany was sunk about 
 24 miles off Pensacola Beach. It was the first vessel 
 sunk under a Navy program to dispose of old warships 
 by turning them into diving attractions. It was the 
 largest man-made reef at the time of the sinking.
2007 Trains crossed the border dividing North and South Korea 
 for the first time since 1953.


2016  smiled.


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Icon text background transparent 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Las Vegas teacher arrested after she kept a journal of her sexual relationship with under-age ex-student Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 16, in 1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set up the Afghan state. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ "A common mistake that people make when trying to make something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." --- Douglas Adams Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. --- Will Rogers _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Joe At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his 104th. "I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail." ______________________________________________________ Ma and Pa made their annual visit to church for the Easter service. As they were leaving, the minster said, "Pa, it sure would be nice to see you and ma here more than once a year!" "I know," replied Pa, "but at least we keep the Ten Commandments." "That's great," the minister said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the Commandments.""Yup," Pa said proudly, "Ma keeps six of 'em and I keep the other four." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: Due to lack of Gullible Warming the Easter Cacti are a bit late this year. These bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Las Vegas teacher arrested after she kept journal of her sexual relationship with ex-student Nicole Wilfinger, 37, Las Vegas, Nevada Molasky Junior High School math teacher Nicole Wilfinger kept a journal on her cellphone of her relationship history with a former student, according to her arrest report. The journal had entries listing first-time occurrences, according to the report. For instance, it lists May 22 as “first time talking and friendship changes forever” and July 11 as “first time we had sex.” Wilfinger was a family friend to the former student, who told police she was his soccer coach for two years, the report said. She had been to his family’s home and attended some outings with his family. According to the report, she babysat the family’s 7-year-old daughter, and the family sometimes babysat her 7-year-old daughter. The report indicates that more than 1,970 phone calls were exchanged between Wilfinger and the student. Police said they recovered 156 text messages and 325 images that had been deleted from Wilfinger’s phone. According to the arrest report, the sexual relationship started when the former student was 14. Wilfinger and the teenager both told police they had sex three times. Wilfinger, 37, was arrested April 28. She faces three counts of statutory sexual seduction by a person older than 21, one count of engaging in sexual conduct with a student between the ages of 14 and 15, one count of engaging in sexual conduct with a student between the ages of 16 and 17, and three counts of lewdness with a child older than 14. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nathan RE: Get rid of icon text background Dear Webby On my desktop the icons and the words under them used to have an invisble background and it looked Good...But I made my own background and now the words have colors behind them. Is there a way to get the invisibilty back again? Thank you for your time!! Nathan Dear Nathan Open System Properties in Control Panel, choose the Advanced tab, click Settings in the Performance section. Turn on the Use drop shadows for icon labels on the desktop option, and click Ok. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the customer asks, "Are these time release pills?" The pharmacist replies, "Yes. They begin to work after your check clears." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Double Crust Taco Pie By Paige P. [2 Posts] This recipe came from a cookbook in my vintage book collection. I made it once and was an instant family favorite. Children love it! Approximate Time: 30 Minutes Yield: 6 to 8 servingsDouble Crust Taco Pie Ingredients: 2 cans crescent rolls 1 lb lean ground beef 1 pkg taco seasoning 1/2 cup salsa 4 cups shredded cheese Steps: On sprayed cookie sheet, spread out one can of crescent rolls in a flat sheet. Pinch perforations closed. Brown ground beef in skillet with taco seasoning, drain if desired. Add salsa. Layer beef mixture and shredded cheese until all used, starting with a beef layer, ending with a cheese layer on crescent dough. Unroll second can of crescent rolls onto beef mixture and cheese layering. Roll and pinch edges together, leaving the natural perforations open to serve as steam vents. Bake at 400 degrees F for 15 minutes. Serve with sour cream and salsa as desired. Source: Cooking to Beat the Band! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After trying a new shampoo for the first time. A guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste and paper items. "Well, what do you think" his wife asked smiling. "Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to General Motors! ___________________________________________________
dad dressing twins
____________________________________________________ Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to the Folks from Erie for these ancient Burma Shave poems. Once upon a time, before the big billboards became popular, these were on simple boards along the highways all across the country. DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT Burma Shave DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING Burma Shave BROTHER SPEEDER, LET'S REHEARSE; ALL TOGETHER, GOOD MORNING NURSE Burma Shave CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND LOTS MORE STEER Burma Shave SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKES THE SPOT Burma Shave THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED HIM TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE Burma Shave AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT A BEAUTIFUL NEW CAR WASN'T IT Burma Shave NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU Burma Shave A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' Burma Shave AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY Burma Shave BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE Burma Shave THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING Burma Shave CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave PASSING SCHOOL ZONE TAKE IT SLOW LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW Burma Shave ____________________________________________________
20 gorgeous real life villages which come straight out of fairytales.

Today on May 16
1770 Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King 
 Louis XVI of France, who was 15.
1866 The U.S. Congress authorized the first 5-cent piece
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson was acquitted during 
 the Senate impeachment, by one vote.
1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set 
 up the Afghan state.
1881 In Germany, the first electric tram for the public 
 started service.
1888 The first demonstration of recording on a flat disc 
 was demonstrated by Emile Berliner.
1888 The capitol of Texas was dedicated in Austin.
1920 Joan of Arc was canonized in Rome.
1946 "Annie Get Your Gun" opened on Broadway.
1946 Jack Mullin showed the world the first magnetic 
 tape recorder.
1960 Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratory 
 in California, demonstrated the first working laser.
1963 After 22 Earth orbits Gordon Cooper returned to 
 Earth, ending Project Mercury.
1969 Venus 5, a Russian spacecraft, landed on the 
 planet Venus.
1975 Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman 
 to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
1987 The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with 
 3,200 tons of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles 
 in search of a place to dump its load. It returned to 
 New York Harbor after 8 weeks with the same load.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police do not have 
 to have a search warrant to search discarded garbage.
1991 Queen Elizabeth II became the first British monarch 
 to address the U.S. Congress.
1997 In Zaire, President Mobutu Sese Seko gave control of 
 the country to rebel forces ending 32 years of autocratic 
 rule.
2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was nominated 
 to run for U.S. Senator in New York. She was the first U.S. 
 first lady to run for public office.
2005 Sony Corp. unveiled three styles of its new 
 PlayStation 3 video game machine.
2016  smiled.


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Is Spybot good enough? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, May 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Venezuelan Stripper, who was arrested for knocking out her Mother In Law. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 15, in 1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its 115,000 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been there for more than eight years battling the US armed and trained Taliban. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members. --- David Coblitz No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar. --- Donald Foster _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The country doctor was just returning from a delivery at an outlying cattle ranch, when he crossed paths with the town's gossip while filling up his car at the gas station. "Doctor Wilson, how is the Smith baby?" "Well, the child was born without a penis." he replied. "Oh, oh my goodness!" said the gossip... and with a smile on her face, she turned to head into town to spread the news. Once she was out of earshot, he told the gas station attendant: "They are going to call her Eva."
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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a bit more than a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted past a stop sign. "Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and screamed back: "What makes you think these are all mine???" ______________________________________________________ A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns. "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" "O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?" stammers the bartender. "A small Coke, please." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Venezuelan stripper and glamor model was arrested after she knocked out her mother in law. Diosa Canales, 29, Roberto Rojas Romero, 32, Naguanagua, Carabobo Venezuela According to her statement, the mother in law says, the incident happened after the couple’s two-year-old daughter accidentally swallowed Rivotril pills - a tranquiliser drug sometimes known as Clonazepam - and threw away the bottle.She described how the model, who has more than 36,000 followers on Instagram, began to verbally abuse the little girl and she intervened. At this point her son grabbed onto her neck and strangled her until she could not breath, after which Canales punched her in her left eye, leaving her unconscious for some minutes. According to a police report , both of them have been arrested for having "caused physical injury to the mother in various parts of the body". The alleged victim, Solange Ramona Romero Mota, 50, went to the police station to report the attack. Diosa Canales is a Venezuelan singer, pole-dancer, and model well known for making promises of getting naked if her country's national football team wins a football tournament. She became an internet phenomenon when she got naked in front of her twitcam and was watched by more than 30,000 people in less than 12 minutes. She even became a trending topic until she was censored by Twitter. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob RE: Spybot versus Malwarebytes Dear Webby I use the free version of Malwarebytes to protect my computer from Spyware and Malware. Â Someone told me that the free version of SPYBOT is better protection against Spyware & Malware. Would appreciate your comments. Bob Faria Daily Voter Bob Dear Bob Spybot is pretty good and does get rid of a lot of spying ad-ware, but that is only a small portion of malware, that needs to be gotten rid of. Even the free version of Malwarebytes gets rid of a lot more malware. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After Psycho was released, Hitchcock received an angry letter from the father of a girl who refused to take a bath after seeing Les Diaboliques. Now she was refusing to take a shower after seeing Psycho. Hitchcock sent him a note back simply saying, "Send her to the dry cleaners." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cakes Sticking to the Pan By sadiena [3 Posts, 3 Comments] What is the easiest way to bake a cake without it sticking to the pan and spending all this time scrubbing the pan? By booboo kitty from Jacksonville, FL Best Answer I've always greased the pan the old fashioned way and then after removing the cake just simply soak the pans in water for about five minutes and it comes off easily with even your fingertips. Definitely no scrubbing and save money by not using extra or fancy products.
By Michelle Landreth [17 Posts, 67 Comments] Best Answer Baker's Joy or store brand, works like a charm! I wouldn't try these for years because I didn't want to risk my cake possibly sticking to the pans. I always greased and floured my pans the old fashioned way. I finally broke down and tried the sprays. They work great and so simple to use. Cakes pop right out of the pans with no problem.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mother: "Soooo... you want to become my son-in-law." Suitor: "No, not really. But I don't see any other way to marry your daughter." ___________________________________________________
two dogs dining
____________________________________________________ A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself;" lets her. A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her; gets mad. A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad; says, "Now what are you mad about?" A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, "Now what are mad about?" says "If you are such an insensitive and inconsiderate and seflish bonehad that you don't know, then there is no point wasting my time to tell you. ____________________________________________________ An overweight Lucy consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. Lucy followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "Are you going to come pick me up, or do I have to run home 300 Miles?" ____________________________________________________
25 little places which are just too wonderful to be real.

Today on May 15
1602 Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold.
1614 An aristocratic uprising in France ended with the 
 treaty of St.Menehould.
1618 Johannes Kepler published his harmonics law.
1702 The War of Spanish Succession began.
1768 Under the Treaty of Versailles, France purchased 
 Corsica from Genoa.
1795 Napoleon entered the Lombardian capital of Milan.
1849 Neapolitan troops entered Palermo, and were in 
 possession of Sicily.
1911 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of 
 Standard Oil Company, ruling it was in violation of 
 the Sherman Antitrust Act.
1916 U.S. Marines landed in Santo Domingo to quell 
 civil disorder.
1930 Ellen Church became the first female flight attendant.
1940 Nylon stockings went on sale in the U.S.
1942 Gasoline rationing began in the U.S. The limit was 
3 gallons a week for nonessential vehicles.
1948 Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria, 
 Iraq and Lebanon only hours after declaring its 
 independence.
1951 AT&T became the first corporation to have one 
 million stockholders.
1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas 
 Island in the Pacific Ocean.
1958 Sputnik III, the first space laboratory, was launched 
 in the Soviet Union.
1963 The last Project Mercury space flight was launched.
1970 U.S. President Nixon appointed America's first 
 two female generals.
1970 Phillip Lafayette Gibbs and James Earl Green, two 
 black students at Jackson State University in Mississippi, 
 were killed when police opened fire during student 
 protests.
1972 Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot by Arthur Bremer 
 in Laurel, MD while campaigning for the U.S. presidency. 
 Wallace was paralyzed by the shot.
1975 The merchant ship U.S. Mayaguez was recaptured from 
 Cambodia's Khmer Rouge.
1980 The first transcontinental balloon crossing of the 
 United States took place.
1983 In Boston,MA, the Madison Hotel was destroyed by 
 implosion.
1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its 
 115,000 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been 
there for more than eight years battling the US armed and 
trained Taliban.
1990 Vincent Van Gogh's "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" was 
 sold for $82.5 million. The sale set a new world record.
1997 The Space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission 
 to deliver urgently needed repair equipment and a fresh 
 American astronaut to Russia's orbiting Mir station.
2016  smiled.


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What to do with forwarding requests 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, May 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a former NY principal who was fired for being always late, was 88 days late for appealing the firing. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 14, in 1264 Baron's War fought in England More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. --- Bill Cosby "The spirit in which a thing is given determines how the debt is acknowledged; it's the intention, not the face-value of the gift, that's weighed." --- Seneca the Younger _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Not long after his marriage, Ernie Junior and his father Ernie senior, met for lunch. "Well son," asked Ernie senior, "How is married life treating you?" "Not very well, I'm afraid," sighed junior, "It seems I married a nun." "A nun?" his father questioned. "That's right," moaned Ernie junior, "None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!" Ernie senior nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back. "Why don't we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?" Young Ernie smiled, "Say, Dad, that's a great idea!" "Fine," replied Ernie senior, "I'll call home and ask the successor to Mother Superior to set two extra plates."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him. In almost a whisper he says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher yells with increasing loudness: "And he who will find a place in hell please STAND UP!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!" ______________________________________________________ The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after the fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists who had gotten lost and wound up in the army garrison instead of at Euro-Disney. ______________________________________________________ Patagonia From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NY principal who was fired for being always late, was 88 days late for appealing the firing. Marcella Sills Far Rockaway, New York. The city fired Sills in February from her $128,000-a-year gig at PS 106 in Far Rockaway after The Post exposed her out-of-control tardiness. Infamous “School of No” Principal Marcella Sills, who was fired for excessive lateness, is tardy again — filing a lawsuit to get her job back months after the legal deadline. This, when PS 106 earned the “School of No” moniker because it had nothing — no books, no gym or art classes, no nurse’s office, no special-ed teachers, no books for the Common Core curriculum. Yet now she’s suing for reinstatement — noting that her union contract never specified what time she was to show for work. The hooky-playing Sills cheated taxpayers as well as students at PS 106 in Far Rockway, an arbitrator ruled in firing her Jan. 22. The arbitrator slapped Sills for arriving up to several hours late 178 times between September 2012 and January 2014, but never documented the absences and “committed theft of time.” She had 10 days under state law to appeal her termination. She filed a lawsuit in Manhattan Supreme Court on April 19 — 88 days after the decision. Her suit contends the city’s contract with principals doesn’t set a start and end time for a work day, so she can’t be nailed for lateness. Her lawyer, Douglas Rosenthal, admitted the filing was delinquent, but asked the judge to make an exception for Sills “in the interest of justice.” The city Law Department declined to comment. Schools Chancellor Carmen Farińa ousted Sills in February 2014 after The Post exposed her abuses, dubbing PS 106 the “School of No” because it had lacked basics such as books for the Common Core curriculum. Instead of gym and art classes, kids watched movies. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doug RE: Mails to be forwarded Dear Webby At the bottom is a forwarding type email. I get this 'type' of email from a young girl(13 - cousin-in- law). I don't mind them too much. They never work. I was wondering if you know what is so hot about them? They are vastly 'forwarded'. What's the appeal? take care, Doug --------- .....To find out what was inside the container you must fprward this to at least 10 people... ------- Dear Doug 13 year olds often like to behave like little smartass pranksters. Sometimes, some of them like that so much, that they never reach the relative maturity expected of a 14 year old. By the way, there is absolutely no point in writing to the originators of those pranks and telling them that they are not going to see a box, and not going to get a check from Bill Gates or anybody. Doing that would be like trying to teach a pig to sing. It hurts the ears, and it annoys the pig. In case you do want to hit back with an appropriate chain letter, I wrote the Fert Club page in 1994. Just send them the URL: http://webby.com/ humor/fert.html Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Shirley says, "Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?" Abe says, "Do I care?" A few minutes later Shirley says, "Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?" Abe says, "Who cares?" A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, "Abe, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?" Abe says, "Shirley, I really don't care what you wear, but if you don't get moving, we're going to miss the Early Bird Special." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Individual Chocolate Cakes By Becky Miles [100 Posts, 151 Comments] This is taken from Nigella Lawson's recipe for Chocohotopots. (I made a few changes). They are delicious and quick to whip up. My picky kids can't wait for these to come out of the oven. Definitely a keeper! cake with ice cream Approximate Time: 10 minutes to make, 20-25 minutes to cook Yield: 4 cakes Ingredients: 1 stick of butter (8 tablespoons) 4 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped (I just use half a cup of chocolate chips) 2 eggs 3/4 cup sugar 3 Tbsp flour 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp of instant coffee dissolved in 1 teaspoon of hot water Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Butter 4 ramekins with an extra tablespoon of butter. Melt chocolate and butter. Cool a little (a few minutes). chocolate melted with butter In separate bowl, combine eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, salt, and dissolved coffee. mixing dry ingredients with eggs and coffee Add chocolate mixture to the bowl. Stir til combined. Pour into ramekins. pour batter into ramekins The original recipe says to bake for 20 minutes. But, it's a little too gooey and under-cooked to serve to my kids. I bake them for 25-28 minutes, til there's no jiggle and the cakes are more set. out of the oven When the cakes come out, you can add some chocolate to the middle or if you like to live dangerously, a spoonful of Nutella. Ice cream is really good on it, too. Let cakes cool for about 10 minutes, so no one gets burned. Enjoy! Source: Nigella Lawson's Chocohotopots ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two Iranians meet in California. One starts to greet the other in Farsi,the language of their native country. The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in California now. Speak Spanish!" ___________________________________________________
dog loves his favorite song
____________________________________________________ A little son of a Lutheran minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time the rite of baptism. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub. The first kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family cat rebelled. It struggled, clawed and tore at him, and got away. With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony. But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands and face. Finally, after barely getting her splattered after chasing her with a casserole filled with water, he disgustedly declared: "Fine, be a Casserole Baptist !" ____________________________________________________ One day a mother was explaining to her young son that you should never tell a lie. She told him that God saw everything and heard everything. She explained, "Even though your father and I may not know if you are telling a lie God will know." The young son replied, "But will He tell?" ____________________________________________________
Miss America 1924

Today on May 14
1264 Baron's War fought in England 
1607 1st permanent English settlement in New World, Jamestown VA 
1664 Turkish great Köprülü attacks 120,000 Donau soldiers 
1767 British government disbands Americans import duty on tea
1787 Delegates gather in Philadelphia to draw up US constitution 
1796 1st smallpox inoculation administered, by Edward Jenner
1804 Lewis & Clark set out from St Louis for the Pacific Coast 
1862 Adolphe Nicole of Switzerland patents the chronograph
1894 Fire in the Boston bleachers spreads to 170 adjoining buildings
1908 1st passenger flight in an airplane
1921 Florence Allen is 1st woman judge to sentence a man to death 
1932 "We Want Beer!" parade in New York
1940 Netherlands surrender to Germany 
1945 Kamikaze-Zero strikes US aircraft carrier Enterprise
1945 US offensive on Okinawa, Sugar Loaf conquered 
1948 Jordan's Arab League captures Atarot, north of Jerusalem
1948 PM David Ben-Gurion establishes State of Israel
1948 US grants Israel de facto recognition 
1955 Warsaw Pact is signed by the Soviet Union, Albania, Bulgaria, 
Czechoslovakia, East Germany, Hungary, Poland & Romania 
1969 Abortion & contraception legalized in Canada 
1969 Last Chevrolet Corvair built 
1973 Skylab launched, the 1st Space Station
1974 Symbionese Liberation Army destroyed in shoot-out, 6 killed
1976 Oil tanker Urqui Ola explodes off Spanish coast 
Since 1897: Ireland : Feis Ceoil music festival


2016  smiled.


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What to do when you can't move icons 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, May 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Friday, the  13th !
Be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia woman who was arrested for having an orgy with under-age youths. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 13, in 1110 Crusaders march into Beirut causing a bloodbath More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?" "Yes." "I want you to send somebody over right away." "What's wrong?" "There's a horrid magazine salesman sitting in a tree teasing my dog."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A woman sees a beautiful tennis bracelet in a jewelry store window. She goes in and asks the clerk if a small deposit will hold it until she catches her husband at something proportionaltely unforgivable. ______________________________________________________ Justin, 10, had been ill, requiring several doctors' visits and tests before a specialist came up with the final diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards, his mother asked him if he understood what the doctor had explained to him. "No," replied Justin, "not really." "Okay," his mother replied, "the doctor said you started with a virus..." At which point Justin interrupted to ask, "Does that mean I need a new hard drive ?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by a Georgia woman who was arrested for having an orgy with under-age youths. Rachel Lenhardt 35, Evans, Georgia An Evans woman opened up to her Alcoholic Anonymous sponsor and ended up in jail based partly on what she revealed about an underage party and sex romp at her home, according to authorities. Rachel Lenhardt, 35, was charged Monday with two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor for allegedly providing marijuana and alcohol to minors at her home on Whitney Pass in Evans. The sponsor told investigators that she was recently asked to help Lenhardt, so she asked her over for coffee on April 10 to talk about Lenhardt’s plans for sobriety and such. Lenhardt informed her she was four days sober since April 6 when she lost custody of her five children ages 4, 6, 8, 10 and 16. Lenhardt told her that an emergency hearing was conducted this month when her kids were taken away from her due to an incident that occurred at her house. According to a sheriff’s report, Lenhardt gave her sponsor this account of the party: Her kids were with their father one night when her 16-year- old daughter texted her and asked if her and some friends could come over “to party.” Lenhardt replied “come on, let`s party.” Lenhardt allowed her teen daughter and her friends to smoke marijuana and drink her alcohol in her home. The group of minors and her played naked Twister in the living room. Lenhardt had sex with an 18 year old in the bathroom while the others continued to play Twister. Lenhardt told her sponsor she was still “horny” afterward so she brought her sex toys out in the living room and began to use them on herself in front of the group. The group and Lenhardt then got in her hot tub naked where the party continued. Lenhardt said she was asleep in her bed and woke up around 3:30 a.m. when she felt someone having sex with her. She thought it was the 18-year-old but realized it was her daughter’s 16-year-old boyfriend. The daughter later told her mother that she felt guilty because the boyfriend’s 10-inch penis was too large for her and he needed to have sex so he used the mother instead. Lenhardt also told her sponsor that she had shown her daughter pornographic photos, including photos of her and her current boyfriend having sex. The sponsor told investigators that Lenhardt has opened up about being a sexual deviant and porn addict. Sheriff’s Capt. Steve Morris said this week’s arrest of Lenhardt is based partially on the account given to them by the AA sponsor. He said no sexual crime charges were being filed because 16 is the legal age of consent. AA apparently is not anonymous and confidential in Georgia. Her picture looks very familiar, as if I had given her or her sister a bonehead award already. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marifay RE: Icons can't be moved Dear Webby Sure hope you can help me with this problem, I can no longer click on to the icons on my desk top and move them .When I do they zip right back to where they were.For some reason they have all moved to the left side of my desk top and cant be moved. Can you help me with this? Marifay Dear Marifay Rightclick an empty spot on the desktop, select ARRANGE ICONS BY and take the checkmark off from AUTO ARRANGE Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fix Reel Mower Treads By MITCH [17 Posts, 7 Comments] My "Weed-eater" reel mower is 5 1/2 years old, and it shows. But if the plastic wheel treads won't dig in against the resistance of the grass, then it's over. That's probably by design to make us toss 'em sooner and buy new! Here's a simple solution to planned obsolescence. Find a few tiny wood screws, enough to go around both wheels (4 or 5 each) and screw into treads at thickest places. Not too deep or they'll scrape metal below and slow or stop machine. Especially for self propelled mowers, better than "tiny wood screws" are fat hex head sheet metal screws like are used to mount metal roofing. They have wide shoulders that sit flush on the plstic wheels and don't get torn out. You can get a socket for them and an adapter to fit into any drill. You can do both driving wheels in a couple of minutes. Then it will pull you along instead of you pushing it. I had to do that on my 26" YardWorks mower and it madea huge difference. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bubba met with the mayor to talk about him using his good influence to help Bubba get the new construction contract. The mayor agreed. Bubba said, "To show my appreciation for all the things you've done for our town, I want to present you with a brand new Cadillac. It's loaded! It has everything! Here you go. Here are the keys." The mayor, "Now, Bubba, you know that I can't accept that!" Bubba said, "Oh, yeah, right! Gift limits and all that! Here! I'll sell it to you for half a dollar!" The mayor said, "Okay, Bubba," and gave him a 5 dollar bill. Bubba grinned as he pocketed the bill, "Oops! I don't have change!". The mayor just shrugged and said, "That's okay. I'll just take ten of those half dollar Cadillacs." ___________________________________________________
the kid wanted to be baptized :D
____________________________________________________ A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so he told her that she wasn't home. "Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?" The man wordlessly directed her to the bench on the porch and left her there while he continued with some yardwork. After 3 hours she got quite worried and called out for him and asked, "May I know where your wife is?" "At the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming?" "I don't really know," he said. Then she asked "When did she go there ?" "About eleven years ago" ____________________________________________________ I asked a new temp once how she liked working for the manager of the Facilities Division. She replied, "Well, he's OK I guess. But he sure is bigoted." Somewhat taken aback, I said, "Rose that's a very serious allegation. Exactly what do you mean by 'bigoted' ?" She replied, "Well, for one thing, he thinks words can only be spelled one way." ____________________________________________________
Ghost towns fascinate me. Wouldn’t you like to know the people who lived there in its heyday?

Today on May 13
1110 Crusaders march into Beirut causing a bloodbath
1568 Mary Queen of Scots is defeated by English 
1588 King Henri III flees Paris
1607 - An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at
Jamestown, Virginia. The passengers went ashore the next day and this
site became the first permanent settlement English colony in America.
1637 Cardinal Richelieu of France creates the table knife to 
reduce the number of fatal and messy arguments at his table
1654 Venetian fleet under Admiral Adeler beats Turkish 
1779 - The War of Bavarian Succession ended. 
1787 - Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He
successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on January 18,
1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight days later and
settled at Port Jackson. 
1828 US passes Tariff of Abominations
1821 - The first practical printing press was patented in the 
 U.S. by Samuel Rust. 
1846 - The U.S. declared that war existed with Mexico. 
1861 - Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War. 
1865 - The last land engagement of the American Civil War was fought
at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas, more than a month
after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox, VA. 
1873 - Ludwig M. Wolf patented the sewing machine lamp holder. 
1880 - Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway in 
Menlo Park. 
1888 - Slavery was abolished in Brazil. 
1897 - Guglielmo Marconi sent the world's first wireless
communication over open sea. 
1913 - Igor Sikorsky (Russia) flew the first four engine aircraft. 
1917 - Near Fatima, Portugal, three peasant children reported 
 seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. 
1918 - The first airmail postage stamps were issued with airplanes 
 on them. The denominations were 6, 16, and 24 cents. 
1927 - "Black Friday" occurred in Germany. 
1949 - The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed in
Wilmar, AR. 
1954 - U.S. President Eisenhower signed into law the St. Lawrence
Seaway Development Act. 
1958 - French troops took control of Algiers. 
1958 - U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks
thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela. 
1968 - Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began in Paris.

1975 - Hailstones the size of tennis balls hit Wenerville, TN. 
1985 - A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the
radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto the
group's headquarters. Eleven people died in the fire that resulted. 
1998 - India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first round had
been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S. and Japan imposed
tough economic sanctions. India claimed that the tests were necessary
to maintain India's national security. 
1999 - In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris Yeltsin
began. 
2003 - The U.S. government unveiled a newly designed version of the
$20 bill. It was the first to be colorized in an effort to stop
counterfeiters. 
2016  smiled.


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Winzip Naggers in email 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, May 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a naked Florida woman arrested in street wearing only black boots and assaulting senior and deputy. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 11, in 1096 The Jews of Regensburg, who resisted forced conversion, were killed More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say. --- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974) Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons. --- Will Cuppy (1884-1949) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Tom said, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replied, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Two mothers are talking about a friend who has just given birth to triplets. "You know, that only happens one in 120,000 times," says one. "Amazing," says the other. "How did she ever find time to do any housework?" ______________________________________________________ Jane was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" Jane said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jane said, "Same price, nine dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jane said, "OK, you come to the movie - put the kids on a plane." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelly Marie Carpenter, 51, Rio Ponderosa Village, Florida naked Florida woman arrested in street wearing only black boots and assaulting senior and deputy. A Villager has been jailed on $10,000 bond following her arrest after she was found naked in the street wearing nothing but a pair of black boots. A couple had been driving their car down Estrada Place in the Village of Rio Ponderosa at 6:30 p.m. Saturday when they encountered 51-year-old Kelly Marie Carpenter standing naked in the middle of the street, according to an arrest report from the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office. When their vehicle approached her, she started beating on it with her fists. The man driving the car rolled down the window because he feared she would break it. When the man, who is over the age of 90, rolled down the window, she struck him in the shoulder while she was screaming incoherently. The couple, afraid of what harm she might inflict, drove around the corner and called law enforcement. When a deputy arrived, Carpenter was still standing in the street, surrounded by household items. When the deputy approached her, Carpenter threw a plastic spray bottle at the deputy and used vulgar language, the report indicated. “I’m naked, arrest me,” she said, according to the report. She then hit the deputy in the waist with a windshield squegee. When the deputy handcuffed Carpenter and put her in the back of a patrol car, she kicked the door, resulting in damage to the locking mechanism of the door. She is facing charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, battery on a person over the age of 65, simple assault on a person over the age of 65 and indecent exposure. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Den RE: Winzip naggers Dear Webby My computer keeps receiving notices to upgrade WINZIP for $39 or $49 to update my computer. Should I be purchasing this? Den Dear Denise If you are using Winzip once a month or more often, then it would be good and proper to get the paid version. However, if you are using it just once or twice a year, continue using the free evaluation version, or else get the free 7- zip. Since you are using Gmail, you can easily make a filter to send their monthly naggers straight to spam or trash. Get comfortable with making filters! Whenever something annoys you, make a filter. Don't get mad, filter it to hell. Filters are for more than just MILs and Nigerian scammers! Since all zip files in email are scams or viruses or trojans, I have filtered them to hell with MailWasher for many years. So far no legitimate sender complained. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bacon Pancake By Robin [5,891 Posts, 29 Comments] I like this just because it's a different kind of pancake recipe and I love the bacon! Ingredients: 1/2 - 1 lb. bacon 2 cups milk 1 tsp. salt 4 eggs 1 1/4 cups flour Directions: Cut bacon in small pieces and fry in pan. Place bacon pieces in pan (9x13 inches) and enough of the bacon fat to cover pan bottom generously. Beat egg; add salt, milk, and flour alternately. Mix well and pour over bacon. Bake in 400 degree F oven for 30-40 minutes or until set and brown. Serve at once with butter, strawberry jam, or syrup. Makes 4 generous servings. Servings:4 Prep Time:15 Minutes Cooking Time:30-40 Minutes By Robin from Washington, IA If you are in a hurry, you can use Costco or Hormel crumbled bacon and mix it in with the dough. If you want to cut back on flour, mash in a couple of bananas instead. Don't forget a bit of baking soda to make them light and fluffy. You can do them in 2 x 60 seconds on a griddle or frying pan. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." ------------- Every tech support person knows people like that. ___________________________________________________
the kid wanted to be baptized :D
____________________________________________________ Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian worked together to sponsor a community-wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!" ____________________________________________________ When Judy arrived for her daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling her that her little girl didn't always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. "For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting at the wrong desk." "I don't understand," Judy replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?" The teacher went on to reassure Judy that her daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, your appointment was actually scheduled for tomorrow." ____________________________________________________
Highlights from Nat Geo’s 2016 Travel Photographer of the Year Contest

Today on May 12
0254 St Stephan I replaces Lucius I as Catholic Pope 
1096 The Jews of Regensburg, who resisted forced conversion, were killed
1551 San Marcos University in Lima Peru, opens 
1733 Maria Theresa crowned queen of Bohemia in Prague
1777 1st ice cream advertisement (Philip Lenzi-New York
Gazette) 
1792 Toilet that flushes itself at regular intervals is
patented 
1835 Charles Darwin visits copper mines in North Chile
1885 Battle of Batoche, French Canadians rebel against
Canada 
1925 Uzbekistan & Kirgizistan become autonomous Soviet
republics 
1928 Mussolini ends woman's rights in Italy
1928 Opium laws enforced in USA
1940 Nazi blitz conquest of France began by crossing Meuse
River 
1942 1,500 Jews gassed in Auschwitz 
1943 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrives in US 
1944 900+ 8th Air Force bombers attack Zwikau, Bohlen &
Brüx
1949 West begins Berlin Airlift to get supplies around
Soviet blockade
1951 1st H Bomb test, on Enewetak Atol
1980 1st nonstop crossing of US via balloon (Maxie Anderson
& son Chris) 
1997 Russia & Chechnya sign peace deal after 400 years of
conflict 
1997 Susie Maroney, 22, of Australia, is 1st to swim from
Cuba to Florida
1997 Tornado narrowly misses downtown Miami 
2016  smiled.


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Is Verizon really going to use AOL mail ? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, May 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to the Mayor of Frankfort Village, NY. He was arrested for stealing 111 road signs from the state and giving them to his village. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 11, in 1189 Emperor Frederik I Barbarossa & 100,000 crusaders depart Regensburg More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them. --- Robertson Davies I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid. --- P. J. O'Rourke If you want to cut down on the number of relatives who are hanging around, borrow money from the rich ones and lend money to the ones who are poor. You will never see any of them again. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600." Bill sighs, "Telling your wife."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A plane took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announ- cement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Sit back and relax - OH NO!" Silence. After a moment, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!" ______________________________________________________ After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a long kiss, and gave her another hug and an even longer kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented: "Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Frank Moracco, 60, Frankfort Village, NY Frankfort NY mayor arrested for stealing 111 road signs Apparently, no one saw the signs. A mayor in upstate New York is facing criminal charges for allegedly stealing 111 road signs from the state’s Department of Transportation, according to WKTV.com. New York State Police arrested Frank Moracco Monday on charges of misconduct and petit larceny. Both charges are Class “A” misdemeanors, according to CNYCentral.com. Moracco, 60, has served as the mayor of Frankfort Village since 2004, and has worked as a sign shop foreman for the state’s Department of Transportation since 2001, Syracuse.com reports. Police started investigating Moracco in July of 2015 after getting a tip from someone in the town, New York State Police spokesman Jack Keller told The Huffington Post. They said he took 111 road signs made at the shop and gave them to the Village of Frankfort Street Department, according to the Utica Observer-Dispatch. “There were a variety of signs, including yield and stop signs,” Keller told HuffPost. “A village usually has to apply to get signs and then pay a fee. [Moracco] bypassed that process.” Moracco was issued an appearance ticket for the charges and is due in Frankfort Town Court May 3. It is unknown what has happened to the road signs allegedly stolen by Moracco. Neither he, the Frankfort Village Street Department nor the New York State Police have responded to inquiries from HuffPost. Frankfort Village clerk Karlee Tamburro told the Observer- Dispatch that the village has no comment on the situation, but that Moracco will continue to serve as mayor. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eno RE: Verizon and AOL mail Dear Webby Is it true that Verizon bought AOL because AOL knows how to deal with people upset about mail not working? Did they buy all of AOL, or just the mail part? Eno Dear Eno Yes, apparently they did. They want to focus on phones and the use of phones to get onto the Internet, and are tired of getting yelled at about email problems. Initially the switch is just for some regions to test how well AOL can handle the email for Verizon customers. There is no need to panic. You can still continue to use Gmail, set it to POP and then use Eudora, Thunderbird or even Outlook to take care of your email. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow's attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name, and leave her one of my business cards ?" Bob's face turns red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did." "Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Black Rubber Marks on Laminate Floors By Nick Rous [1 Comment] Use lighter fuel on a piece of kitchen towel. The marks come of immediately. No elbow grease required! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. One preacher claimed, "Kneeling is definitely best." "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hanging by my climbing spurs upside down from a telephone pole in a thunder and lightning storm." ___________________________________________________
watch for the bird - so cool
____________________________________________________ One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked, "What is the Gross National Product?" His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?" __________________________________________________ Thanks to Judy for this one: At the company where I work, the other operators and I share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup. I didn't realize how long I'd been until someone slid a note under the door. "You win," it read. Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot, re-filled please, if the water has gone stale." ____________________________________________________
Sculptures that defy gravity

Today on May 11
1189 Emperor Frederik I Barbarossa & 100,000 crusaders depart Regensburg
1330 Constantinople (Istanbul) becomes new capital 
 for Eastern Roman Empire 
1421 Jews are expelled from Styria
1751 1st US hospital founded (Pennsylvania Hospital)
1752 1st US fire insurance policy issued (Philadelphia) 
1792 Columbia River discovered & named by US Captain Robert Gray 
1812 Waltz introduced into English ballrooms - Most observers 
consider it disgusting & immoral. No wonder it caught on! 
1814 Americans defeat British at Battle of Plattsburgh 
1818 Cincinnati Reds Hod Eller no-hits St Louis Cardinals, 6-0
1833 "Lady-of-the-Lake" strikes iceberg & sinks in N Atlantic; kills 215 
1850 Work starts on 1st brick building in San Fransisco 
1916 Einstein's Theory of General Relativity presented 
1921 Tel Aviv is 1st all Jewish municipality 
1928 General Electric opens 1st TV-station (Schenectady NY)
1929 1st regularly scheduled TV broadcasts (3 nights per week)
1931 Credit-Anstalt, Austria's largest bank, fails 
beginning financial collapse of Central Europe 
1942 Japanese troops conquer Kalewa 
1943 US 7th division lands on Attu, Aleutian
1947 BF Goodrich manufactures 1st tubeless tire, Akron OH 
1949 1st Polaroid camera sold $89.95 (NYC)
1951 Jay Forrester patents computer core memory
1955 Israel attacks Gaza 
1962 US sends troops to Thailand 
1967 100,000,000th US phone connected 
1978 Margaret A Brewer is 1st female general in the US Marine Corps 
1987 1st heart-lung transplant take place (Baltimore) 
1989 President Bush orders nearly 2,000 troops to Panamá 
2016  smiled.


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AOL Mail Problems 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida woman, who tried to rip off boyfriend's testicles. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 10, in 1267 Vienna's church orders all Jews to wear distinctive garb 1278 Jews of England imprisoned on charges of coining 1427 Jews are expelled from Berne Switzerland More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty- fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. "You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the very first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled money from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and given VD to his cousin. I was appalled, but as the days went on I came to realize that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people." Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk... "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Lawyer: "Now would you please tell the Jury the truth - why did you shoot your husband with bow and arrow?" Defendant : "I didn't want to wake up the children." ______________________________________________________ Two keys hang in an undertaker's office - one for the organ in the chapel; the other for the garage. Two small signs above the keys read "Hymn" and "Hearse." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosaire Francois, 28 Ellenton, Florida. Florida woman busted for battering her beau's testicles A woman arrested last night for battering her live-in boyfriend confessed to cops that she “tried to rip his balls off” during a confrontation in the couple’s Florida home, according to a police report. The victim told investigators that he initially got into a “verbal altercation” with Rosaire Francois, 28, as they traveled in a car en route to their apartment in Ellenton. When the squabbling couple arrived home, the man told police, he attempted to take a shower. However, the report notes, he was interrupted by Francois, who “kicked in the bathroom door and grabbed the victim by his testicles.” The altercation, police say, “then moved to the kitchen, where the offender grabbed the victim by the testicles and scratched the victim’s face.” When cops arrived at the home, Francois reportedly made no bones about her intentions during the domestic scuffle. “I tried to rip his balls off,” she said, according to police. Pictured above, Francois was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. She is being held at the Manatee County jail. The police report does not indicate whether Francois’s boyfriend was injured during the testicle attack. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: SHARON RE: AOL MAIL From SHARON HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MAIL AT AOL WHEN YOU DONT EVEN HAVE AN AOL ACCOUNT.AND MAIL IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT ANYWAY.SOMEBODY WANTS SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH,THEY WILL WRITE AGAIN SHARON Dear Sharon For some people mail is important enough to write to me and inquire what the problem is. because of the amount of mail I get, I simplify my chores and if the question on a repetitive topic is the same, I paste the same reply. here is the one I use most: --------------------- Dear You are still on the list and the Humor Letter DID go out to you. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about the routine AOL malfunctions. Apparently, to be able to handle all that outgoing spam, AOL severely restricts incoming mail. Most likely your Humor Letter got tagged as spam and was censored. That seems to happen a lot at AOL lately. If you can't get AOL to stop messing with your mail, you could try using a Gmail account on the side. In the meantime, you can always browse to http://webby.com/humor/ Humor Letter and see what was sent out to you, but not delivered by AOL. ---------------------- By the way, that is the only "canned" response that I use. All other mail is answered individually. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A pair of senators met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "I'm a senator. So you've got to hear me out!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Black Rubber Marks on Laminate Floors By Nick Rous [1 Comment] Use lighter fuel on a piece of kitchen towel. The marks come of immediately. No elbow grease required! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident. It's funny, AND informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them: 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted fan, Jim. ___________________________________________________
That ONE moment!
____________________________________________________ In Mike's work for a cable-television company, he often encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the way to the den, where the TV was located, and then walked out to get the mail. As Mike approached the TV, he saw a note taped to the screen. It read: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the cable guy comes. Love, Tom." __________________________________________________ Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter `M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother." ____________________________________________________
Who would have thought a salt mine could be so beautiful.

Today on May 10
1267 Vienna's church orders all Jews to wear distinctive garb
1278 Jews of England imprisoned on charges of coining 
1427 Jews are expelled from Berne Switzerland
1497 Italian navigator Amerigo Vespucci leaves for 
1st voyage to New World
1503 Columbus discovers Cayman Islands 
1534 French navigator Jacques Cartier reaches Newfoundland 
1655 Jamaica captured by English
1752 Benjamin Franklins 1st tests the lightning rod 
1797 1st Navy ship, the "United States" is launched 
1823 1st steamboat to navigate the Mississippi River arrives 
at Fort Snelling
1908 1st Mother's Day observed (Philadelphia) 
1910 1st aircraft air display held (Hendon, England) 
1933 Paraguay declares war on Bolivia 
1940 French troops arrive in Zealand/Brabant Netherlands
1940 Nazi armies invade the Benelux countries of Netherlands, 
Belgium & Luxembourg 
1941 Adolf Hitler's deputy Rudolf Hess parachutes into
Scotland 
1941 England's House of Commons & Holborn Theater 
destroyed in a blitz 
1944 Chinese offensive in West-Yunnan 
1945 Allies capture Rangoon from the Japanese 
1945 A week after Germany surrendered, Russian troops 
occupy Prague 
1948 1st attack by Egyptian irregular forces at Kfar Darom
Israel 
1959 Soviet forces arrive in Afghanistan 
1960 US atomic sub USS Triton completes 1st circumnavigation 
of globe under water
1968 Vietnam peace talks began in Paris between the US & 
North Vietnam 
1969 Apollo 10 transmit 1st color pictures of Earth from space
1969 US troops begin attack on Hill 937/Hamburger Hill 
1994 Nelson Mandela sworn in as South Africa's 1st 
black president 
2016  smiled.


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How to open an email attachment 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 9

Thank you, Nancy!


Ft McPherson Heroes Click through for full size picture Have FUN! DearWebby
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida siblings charged with DUI Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 9, in 1671: Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from the Tower of London. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. --- Saint Francis of Assisi Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself. --- Richard Nixon _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A two-year-old daughter was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. The two-year-old kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, with her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, the child toddled up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
"Your honor," a defense attorney began, "I have a series of witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near the scene of the crime when it occurred." The judge looked at the defense table and said, "This is the third time you've been in this court room this week, and I'm getting sick of hearing your lies." The defendant stood up with a confused expression and said, "Your honor, you must be mistaken. I've never been here in my life." Waving his finger, the judge replied, "I was referring to your lawyer." ______________________________________________________ The temperature had taken an overnight plunge, and Minnesota reaffirmed its reputation as one of the nation's coldest states. Despite a wind-chill of minus 40, the steelworkers erecting a TV tower in a Minneapolis-St. Paul suburb showed up for work. By 9 a.m., a tall Texan climbed down from the tower and entered the construction trailer. He took his lunch pail from the shelf and headed for the door. "What's up?" the foreman asked. "You sick?" "Nope," the Texan replied. "Goin' home to get my jacket." "Where's home?" the foreman persisted. "Dallas," he said. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture These bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Josue Moncada, 31, Ercilia Moncada, 41, Ocala, Florida. Florida siblings charged with DUI A 41-woman and her 31-year-old brother were arrested by Florida Highway Patrol troopers and charged with DUI Friday morning. Officials said they received a bulletin to be on the lookout for a reckless driver traveling southbound on Interstate 75 and a trooper spotted the vehicle and was able to stop it on State Road 200 east of Southwest 43rd Street Road. While talking with the driver, later identified as Josue Moncada, the trooper detected alcohol and arrested him on a DUI charge at 2:55 a.m. Minutes later, Moncada's sister, Ercilia Moncada, arrived at the incident location and argued with the trooper about why he was arresting her brother. Another trooper was called to the location and while talking with her, found her to be impaired. After their investigation, she was also arrested on a DUI charge at 3:18 a.m. and placed in second trooper's cruiser. The first trooper left the scene to take Moncada's brother to the Marion County Jail, leaving the second trooper and the woman behind. The woman, who was handcuffed, managed to escape, but was later captured in the 2300 block of Southeast 19th Circle. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ray RE: How to open email attachments Dear Webby, I am receiving e-mails with attachments and can not open them. When I click on the attachment the "window" is not highlighted and nothing happens. What can I do? Thank you, Ray Dear Ray I realize that as far as email is concerned, because I use Eudora, I am leading a very sheltered life. Personally I have not seen that problem yet, but I have been using email for only about 23 years. Find out where your attachments are saved to. All the better email programs let you set that destination. If yours doesn't, copy the name of the attachment and do a search for it with "SearchEverything", or if you have a lot of time, with the Windows Search. Once you have found that location, you should see the extension, the part of the file name after the dot. If it is jpg, gif, or png, it is a picture and usually quite safe. If it is mid, mp3, mp4 or wav, it is sound or video and safe too. If it is pdf or pps, then it is a PDF file or a presentation. Those are usually safe too. If it is DOC or DOCX or XLS or XLSX, then it is from Microsoft Office and it COULD be safe, or it could be extremely dangerous. Check those with a good and reliable virus checker like McAfee. If the file is .zip, dump it fast. Once upon a time .zip was used to compress files or to deliver collections of files over slow internet connections. Nowadays only scammers use .zip files in emails. Dump those. Once you have made sure the attachment file is safe, hit it in the search or go after it with the file explorer. Windows will probably tell you the same as your email program did, that no program is assigned to work with that stuff, but it will let you assign a program and give you some choices. If you don't see any usable choices, then you will have to install a suitable program. Just google for "program to open .xxx" where xxx is the extension of that attachment file. Just pick a free one from a reputable source and install it. During the installation that program will offer to be your default program for opening xxx and a few other types of files. Once that has been assigned, try your email again, and it will open the attachment just like it is supposed to. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Walking downtown one day, I noticed that a music store had just opened. Inside the shop, my attention was caught by a huge Oriental gong, and I went up to take a closer look. The gong was four feet in diameter. On a rope next to it hung a two-foot-long mallet with a top the size of a soft- ball. A piece of notebook paper bearing one word in large letters was taped to the center of the gong. The word was "NO!" ---------------- That reminds me.... During my University days we had two types of students, "Commuter" and "Party-Town". I was a "Commuter", mainly because I had a 5PM to 1AM night job across the nearby border, and only lived 10 miles from the University. "Party-Towners" were the residents of the dorms, frat and sorry houses within walking distance of the University. Since Party-Town was half way between my job and home, and since my bike was a fast but rather chilly ride, I usually stopped at a sorry-house to warm up. (Sorry-House is a sorority house, female version of a frat-house, where you are always greeted with either: "Sorry it's such a mess." or with "Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache.") On one of those warm-up stops a lady I knew from one of my seminars, invited me up to her room to show me her "Multilingual Talking Clock". Yes, you guessed it, it was one of those huge brass gongs. When she grabbed the mallet, I grabbed a couple of pillows. One for each ear. In that tiny, stone-walled room the noise was still awesome. A minute later voices from all over the sorry-house drifted in, all yelling in various different languages something like: "Kock it off, you airhead! It's 1:45 in the morning!" What made it really funny was a few hours later, when we were woken up, ahem, I mean interrupted in our dilligent studying, by a similar gong echoing through the building. Maria twisted my wrist to see my watch, and then screamed: "Knock it off you airhead! It's 4:50 in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Substituting Tomato Paste for Tomato Sauce By Dorothy [2 Posts, 9 Comments] I often make changes like that, primarily because you get a better-quality product when you do. Try using 1/2 water (or stock if you have any) and 1/2 tomato paste. Add a little Italian seasoning, i.e. basil, oregano, garlic, parsley and a bit of sugar. Start with 1/4 tsp. of each, taste your concoction and go from there. Most recipes are not so finicky that they would suffer from such a change, and the bonus is that there are no unpronounceable ingredients in your sauce. Good luck! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The price of gas has gotten so high in California, that women who want to run over their husbands have started carpooling! ___________________________________________________
Mothers Day Video
____________________________________________________ A generously endowed young lady often got teased by her sisters for being so top-heavy. At a party a young man asked her what she would like to drink. "Diet soda, please," she replied. "Oh, you must be the double D." he said. The girl was furious, wondering which of her so-called friends had divulged such personal information. "And just what do you mean by that?" she snapped. Surprised at her angry response, the young man meekly answered, "Oh, you know -- the Designated Driver." __________________________________________________ *"If it" office advice* If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles, ignore it. If it is a friend, take a break. If it is the boss, look busy. If it talks, take notes. If it is handwritten, type it. If it is typed, copy it. If it is copied, file it. If it is Friday, forget it! ____________________________________________________
You'll be surprised at what this cute little Australian tree frog eats.

Today on May 9
1429: Joan of Arc defeated the besieging English at Orleans.

1502: Christopher Columbus left Spain for his final trip to 
the Western Hemisphere. 
1671: Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from the
 Tower of London. 
1754: The first newspaper cartoon in America showed a 
 divided snake "Join or die" in "The Pennsylvania Gazette." 
1785: Joseph Bramah patented the beer-pump handle. 
1825: The Chatham Theatre opened in New York City. It was
the first gas-lit theater in America. 
1901: In Australia, the Duke of Cornwall and York declared
the First Commonwealth Parliament open. 
1904: The Great Western Railway Number 3440 City of Truro
became the first railway locomotive to exceed 100 miles per
hour. 
1915: German and French forces fought the Battle of Artois. 
1926: Americans Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett became the
first men to fly an airplane over the North Pole. 
1930: A starting gate was used to start a Triple Crown race
for the first time. 
1936: Fascist Italy took Addis Abba and annexed Ethiopia. 
1936: The first sheet of postage stamps of more than one
variety went on sale in New York City. 
1941: The German submarine U-110 was captured at sea by
Britain's Royal navy. 
1945: U.S. officials announced that the midnight
entertainment curfew was being lifted immediately. 
1946: King Victor Emmanuel II of Italy abdicated and was
replaced by Umberto. 
1955: West Germany joined NATO. 
1958: Richard Burton made his network television debut in
the presentation of "Wuthering Heights" on CBS-TV. 
1960: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved
for sale an oral birth-control pill for the first time. 
1962: A laser beam was successfully bounced off Moon for the
first time. 
1974: The House Judiciary Committee began formal hearings on
the Nixon impeachment. 
1978: The bullet-riddled body of former Italian Prime
Minister Aldo Moro was found in an automobile in the center
of Rome. The Red Brigades had abducted him. 
1980: A Liberian freighter hit the Sunshine Skyway Bridge
over Tampa Bay in Florida. 35 motorists were killed and a
1,400-foot section of the bridge collapsed. 
1987: Tom Cruise and Mimi Rogers were married. 
1994: Nelson Mandela was chosen to be South Africa's first
black president. 
1996: In video testimony to a courtroom in Little Rock, AR,
U.S. President Clinton insisted that he had nothing to do
with a $300,000 loan in the criminal case against his former
Whitewater partners. 
2002: In Bethlehem, West Bank, a deal was reached that would
end the 38-day standoff at the Church of the Nativity.
Thirteen suspected militants were to be deported to several
different countries. The standoff had begun on April 2,
2002. 
2002: In Kaspiisk, Russia, 39 people were killed and at
least 130 were injured when a remote-controlled bomb
exploded during a holiday parade. 
2002: In Bahrain, people were allowed to vote for
representatives for the first time in nearly 30 years. Women
were allowed to vote for the first time in the country's
history.
2016  smiled.


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Muslim Mayor 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, May 8


Ft McMurray Hero

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh Dad arrested for .6o4 DUI, kids in the backseat Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 8, in 1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary. They passed through without much resistance. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) It's harder to make something good when you can't curse all the time. --- Tina Fey _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon. A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Katie, an honest seven year old girl, admitted calmly to her parents that Freddie had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but Mary and her sisters helped me catch him and held him down." ______________________________________________________ A Florida officer pulls over old Mrs. Fisher because her hand signals were confusing. "Mirs Fisher," he said, "I know that your turn signal has been stuck on right-turn since you bought that car six years ago, but now your hand signals are getting a bit too confusing for us mere mortals to understand. First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer. "I decided not to turn right," she explains. "Then why the up and down?" asks the officer. "Officer," she sniffs, "I was erasing!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Allbritton, Estero, Floriduh Dad arrested for .6o4 DUI, kids in the backseat Lee County Sheriff's deputies arrested Stephen Allbritton Friday morning. They say he was passed out behind the wheel of his SUV with his kids in the backseat. Deputies say he was unresponsive and after they took him to the hospital, doctors found out just how intoxicated he was. Allbritton's blood alcohol content was measured at .604 -- more than seven times the legal limit. Allbritton's B.A.C. was so high he was too drunk to take to jail. Deputies waited seven hours until the level dropped to around 0.4, and he was arrested for DUI and child neglect. Neither Allbritton nor his young kids were hurt. The kids are with their mother. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Margee RE: History Dear Webby, "1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000." And it only took the Muslims 16 years to vote in a Muslim mayor. Hmmm. Why on earth does that sound so UN-democratic?? Margee Dear Margee Until 2016 the non-Muslims still outnumbered the Muslims. Don't worry, the non-Muslims won't have to leave until 2020. They can go to Syria and Iraq. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Bradley and Michael took a job on a farm to eke out a meager existence. One day while Bradley was baling hay, he sees Michael come running up yelling, "Bradley, come quick! Seamus just fell into the manure pit up to his ankles!" Bradley was not alarmed in the least. He asked Michael, "If he's only in up to his ankles, can't he just walk out?" "No," said Michael, running off again. "Grab a shovel, and hurry, he fell in head first!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Archive: Removing ink from a wood table Pour the rubbing alcohol onto the sponge or pad of paper towels. Make sure the sponge or paper towels are soaked in the alcohol solution then rub the alcohol-soaked cloth or towels vigorously into the stain. Rub the stain until the majority of it is gone or absorbed into your rubbing device. (12/29/2009) By ecogirl91304 ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. Dad works twelve hours a day so that I got a nice house and lotsa food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "I saw some suitcases. I think they are trying to escape!" ___________________________________________________
NASA Video : Earth From Space Real Footage - Video From The International Space Station ISS
____________________________________________________ Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows who had been rivals all their lives followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, "Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?" The Admiral approached, bowed, and said "Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?" __________________________________________________ In one job my boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a memo saying that any paperwork left on desks would be removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to get it back. So we left all our trash paper on our desks every night. In a week, the boss had an office full of trash, nobody filled out a retrieval form, and we never heard about that policy ever again. ____________________________________________________
Some people just have a little trouble parking.

Today on May 8
1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary. 
 They passed through without much resistance.
1450 Jack Cade's Rebellion-Kentishmen revolted against 
 King Henry VI.
1541 Hernando de Soto reached the Mississippi River. 
 He called it Rio de Espiritu Santo.
1794 Antoine Lavoisier was executed by guillotine. 
 He was the French chemist who discovered oxygen.
1794 The United States Post Office was established.
1846 The first major battle of the Mexican War was fought. 
 The battle occurred in Palo Alto, TX.
1847 The rubber tire was patented by Robert W. Thompson.
1879 George Selden applied for the first automobile patent.
1886 Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented what 
 would later be called "Coca-Cola."
1902 Mount Pelee on Martinique erupted and killed over 
 30,000 people and destroyed the town of St. Pierre.
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangier to protect the 
 Belgian legation.
1914 The U.S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution that 
 designated the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day.
1921 Sweden abolished capital punishment.
1933 Gandhi began a hunger strike to protest British 
 oppression in India.
1943 The Germans suppressed a revolt by Polish Jews and 
 destroyed the Warsaw Ghetto.
1956 Alfred E. Neuman appeared on the cover of "Mad Magazine" 
 for the first time.
1960 Diplomatic relations between Cuba and the Soviet Union resumed.
1967 Muhammad Ali was indicted for refusing induction in U.S. Army.
1970 Construction workers broke up an anti-war protest on 
 New York City's Wall Street.
1973 Militant American Indians who had held the South Dakota 
 hamlet of Wounded Knee for 10 weeks surrendered.
1985 "New Coke" was released to the public on the 99th 
 anniversary of Coca-Cola. 78 days later it was dumped.
1986 Reporters were told that 84,000 people had been evacuated 
 from areas near the Chernobyl nuclear plant in Soviet Ukraine.
1998 A pipe burst leaving a million residents without water in 
 Malaysia's capital area. This added to four days of shortages 
 that 2 million already faced.


2016  smiled.


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895-system32 scamware 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, May 7

The Alberta provincial government, which declared a state of
emergency, said more than 1,100 firefighters, 145
helicopters, 138 pieces of heavy equipment and 22 air
tankers are fighting the fire,

The Government of Alberta will match donations to the Red
Cross in support of the people of Fort McMurray.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Pennsylvania brothers busted for selling heroin in Burger king play area Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 7, in 1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality. --- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943) If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. --- George Bernard Shaw _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
"St. Patrick's Day Engagement" An Irishman, by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took a close look at it and saw it wasn't real. The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness. "It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled. "I gave you a sham rock." ______________________________________________________ Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Pat Murphy like I do, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Otis Pegues, 31, East Pittsburgh, Marlan Byars, 28, West Mifflin, Pennsylvania Pennsylvania brothers busted for selling heroin in Burger king play area Two men are in the Allegheny County Jail after police said they were caught selling heroin in the play area of a North Versailles fast food restaurant. The two men are brothers, and police say one of the men brought his 6-year-old son along with him. Otis Pegues, 31, of East Pittsburgh, and Marlan Byars, 28,of West Mifflin, were arrested on drug, conspiracy and related charges. They were arrested, investigators said, in the kids’ playground area of the North Versailles Burger King. Police say Byars had his 6-year-old son with him at the time. According to police, Pegues set up the buy with an undercover officer. He was allegedly planning to sell 20 bricks of heroin for $4,600. The drugs and money were recovered. Holding her young daughter in her arms, one woman reacted to the arrest saying, “It makes me nervous. I’ve taken my kids [to the Burger King] before, but I probably won’t be taking them there again.” A man in North Versailles said, “It’s real sad, but nothing happens around here anymore that surprises me.” The undercover investigation was conducted by North Versailles and Swissvale Police Departments, working with the Allegheny County District Attorney’s Narcotics Enforcement Team. Police said undercover officers had made previous heroin buys from Pegues during the past two weeks at both the North Versailles Walmart and the Kmart stores. In addition to drug and conspiracy charges, both men face charges of endangering the welfare of a child. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jaye RE: 895-system32 virus Dear Webby, This keeps showing up when I click on something to watch on Yahoo home page???? There is a .net framework file missing possibly due to some harmful virus Debug malware error 895-system32.exe failure. Please contact Microsoft technicians to rectify the issue. Please do not open internet browsers for your security and to avoid data corruption on your registry of your operating system. Please contact Microsoft technicians at: Toll-Free Helpline 1(855) 737-2627 ******************** PLEASE DO NOT SHUT DOWN OR RESTART YOUR COMPUTER. DOING SO MAY LEAD TO DATA LOSS AND OPERATING SYSTEM FAILURE, CAUSING blah, blah, blah Jaye Dear Jaye Don't call that number, unless you wish to tell them what to give your pet goat. Get Malwarebytes. I doublechecked and yes, Malwarebytes does clean that 895 scam ware off your machine. They say if it does not, use the live chat and they will remove the scamware. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Eve called the police. "My next door neighbor is exposing himself. Oh my," she continued, "he's just standing there, big as you please, taking a shower with his window shades up!" The squad car arrived immediately to catch the evil culprit in the act. She led the cop into her bedroom and pointed out her window. "See what I mean, officer." The policeman scratched his head and said, "Ma'am, I can only see the top of his head." The lady replied, "Crazy fool, just put a chair on that dresser over there and stand on that! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Grease Splatters Off Walls By Ashersisk [1 Comment] A quality citris cleaner should work well. Make sure its not a watered down version. Home improvement centers with have it. Use it with a soft mildly abrasive cloth or sponge. Apply to area let sit 10-15 mins and wipe. Repeated applications may be needed. If its been there too long you may take the paint off and that would have to be repaired. Mr. Clean pads don't work well I tried that already myself. Whatever you use for cleaning a glass stove top will also work just as well on walls and inside of range hood. I use Weimans, but I bet "Barkeepers Friend" will work too. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Lillemor Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure - Translated as only they can do. A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English. Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests. The Hotel: The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you. Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! ... You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts. Bed: Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers. Above All: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it. ___________________________________________________
Humming birds snore! Yes, just like the partner who kept you awake last night.
____________________________________________________ The CIA lost track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words,'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in the first bar he sees. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, across the street. There's Murphy the Plumber next door. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives on 24 East Broadmoor in Dublin, on the second floor. But,.... from what I hear he's vacationing in Hawaii right now. You'll have to ask Murphy the travel agent to get the phone number of the hotel he's staying at. __________________________________________________ Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going, you idiot! All that beer, and only such a small boat for a urinal !" ____________________________________________________
Some people just have a little trouble parking.

Today on May 7
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople 
 collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian.
1274 The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate 
 the election of the pope.
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc.
1525 The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling 
 class and church.
1763 Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British 
 in New York.
1912 The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew 
 over College Park, MD.
1915 The Lusitania, a civilian ship, was sunk by a German 
 submarine. 1,201 people were killed.
1926 A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's 
 exports were motors.
1937 The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist 
 Franco’s forces.
1939 Germany and Italy announced a military and political 
 alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis.
1940 Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American 
 navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the 
 first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy 
 fleets fought without seeing each other.
1945 Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II. 
 It would take effect the next day.
1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded. 
 The company was later renamed Sony.
1951 Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic Games 
 by the International Olympic Committee.
1954 French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at 
 Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting.
1954 The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the 
 Soviet Union's bid to join NATO.
1975 U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War.
1984 A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in 
 the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans 
 who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the 
 defoliant while serving in the armed forces.
1992 A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring 
 the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was 
 ratified as the 27th Amendment.
1997 A report released by the U.S. government said that 
 Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit 
 during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been 
 plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar 
 agreements to return the gold.
1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion. 
 It was the largest industrial merger on record. 
1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the 
 first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000.
1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed 
 and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the 
 Chinese embassy.
2003 In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six 
 fuel cell vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others 
 to test drive during the next two years.
2016  smiled.


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How to copy the screen 



Good Morning, ,

Thank you Allene!
Thank you, Sig!

Today is Friday, May 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas woman arrested with dope on her and a fetus in her purse. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 6, in 1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the end of the Renaissance. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves. --- Carl Sagan (Like he did with his "Ice Age Is Coming" campaign at the END of the previous cooling ripple, which was the model for Al Gore's "Gullible Warming" campaign, at the END of the warming ripple.) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sandra: Have you tried that nicotine gum to help you quit smoking, Marion? Marion: No, I haven't tried that. Sandra: My mother used it. She's down to one carton a day now. Marion: One carton of cigarettes? Sandra: No, she only smokes one pack of cigarettes a day. Now she has a one 10-pack carton-a-day gum habit!
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance. "This is a very smart dog," the man commented. "Not THAT smart," said one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail." ______________________________________________________ Shortly after returning home from a trip to Sea World in Florida, a friend went shopping for swimsuits with her children. When she emerged from the dressing room in a contrasting black-and-white suit, her four-year-old daughter exclaimed her approval: "Oh, Mommy, I love it! You look just like Shamu, the fat whale!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bernadette Rivera, 32, San Antonio, Texas. Texas woman arrested with dope on her and a fetus in her purse. Park Police made a startling discovery during an arrest at Cassiano Park west of downtown San Antonio late Thursday night. Officers were making an arrest on 32-year-old Bernadette Rivera for drug possession when they said they also located what appeared to be a human fetus. Multiple sources said police located several felonies worth of illegal narcotics near Rivera's private area. They said the fetus was found inside of a handbag Rivera was carrying. Rivera has been booked on three felony drug charges but has yet to be charged in relation to the fetus. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen RE: Copy the screen Dear Webby, I would love the answer to this one. When I have trouble shutting down my computer, I run it through a couple of programs before going to the start menu. Last night I opened Word and hit "Paste", and in popped a picture of my screen that had been copied earlier in the evening, complete with shortcut bar on the side! I have no idea how I managed to execute a copy command that made a copy of my screen. Can you tell me how to do it again? Thank you! Helen Dear Helen The PrintScreen key will do exactly that. It "prints" the entire screen into the clipboard. If you hold down the ALT key while you hit PrintScreeen, it copies only the contents of the window that is active. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my pee-mail." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Tomato Slices Mesh Bags As Dish Scrubbers Reuse mesh onion bags as pan scrubbers! Just stuff a few into one bag and then tie a knot at the end of the bag! By Michele G from Buchanan, GA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Try this only once and be honest... This is not a joke, but a true test to see what kind of connection to the Internet you are suited for. Read the following sentence: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS. Now read through the above sentence counting aloud the "F"s as you find them (1...2...etc). Count them aloud, but ONLY ONCE. It makes no difference how many you get on the second or third try. (Answer farther down) ___________________________________________________
Humming birds snore! Yes, just like the partner who kept you awake last night.
____________________________________________________ On a flight I was on a few years ago, this elderly woman kept peering past me out the window. (I always pick window seats, so that I can lean against the wall and snooze) Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the wing tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time." __________________________________________________ The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. "Tyson," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "I don't want to hear that language in here again." After a moment, she muttered under her breath, "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too," Tyson corrected. "It means the car won't start." ======= There are 6 F's ____________________________________________________
Old photos taken at just the right second.

Today on May 6
1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the 
 end of the Renaissance.
1529 Babur defeated the Afghan Chiefs in the Battle of 
 Ghagra, India.
1840 The first adhesive postage stamps went on sale in GB
1851 The mechanical refrigerator was patented by Dr. John Gorrie.
1851 Linus Yale patented the clock-type lock.
1861 Arkansas became the ninth state to secede from the Union.
1877 Chief Crazy Horse surrendered to U.S. troops in Nebraska.
1882 The U.S. Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act. The act 
 barred Chinese immigrants from the U.S. for 10 years.
1889 The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, France, marking 
 the dedication of the Eiffel Tower. Also at the exposition was 
 the first automobile in Paris, the Mercedes-Benz.
1937 The German airship Hindenburg crashed and burned in 
 Lakehurst, NJ. Thirty-six people (of the 97 on board) were killed.
1941 Joseph Stalin assumed the Soviet premiership.
1942 During World War II, the Japanese seized control of the 
 Philippines. About 15,000 Americans and Filipinos on Corregidor 
 surrendered to the Japanese.
1945 Axis Sally made her final propaganda broadcast to 
 Allied troops.
1957 U.S. Senator John Fitzgerald Kennedy was awarded the Pulitzer 
 Prize for his book "Profiles in Courage".
1960 Britain's Princess Margaret married Anthony Armstrong Jones. 
 They were divorced in 1978.
1960 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960.
1962 The first nuclear warhead was fired from the Polaris submarine.
1994 The Chunnel officially opened. The tunnel under the English Channel 
 links England and France.
1994 Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones filed suit against U.S. 
 President Clinton. The case alleged that he had sexually harassed 
 her in 1991.
1999 A parole board in New York voted to release Amy Fisher. 
 She had been in jail for 7 years for shooting her lover's wife, 
 Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face.
2002 "Spider-Man" became the first movie to make more than 
 $100 million in its first weekend.
2016  smiled.


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Picture of tornado and eagle 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 5

Everybody is helping the evacuees from Fort McMurray.
The OilSands operations are still running, but all off-shift
and non-essential workers are cruising the highway with
drinking water tankers and tidy-tanks with fuel, and giving
their bunk houses to needy families.

There are now over a dozen firefighting helicopter tankers
on site and busy saving houses, but the smoke and falling
ash and tinders make movement on the ground not safe yet.
Military is heading up there, but it is not clear yet, what
they will do, since evacuation is pretty well complete.

By Monday they hope the fire will be burned out or under
control, and the human tide will reverse. People will come
back and rebuild. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 19 year old charged with arson in connection to Mayerthorpe CN Rail trestle bridge fire. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 5, in 1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when he made a 15 minute suborbital flight. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back. --- Mick Jagger (1943 - ) Eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong, just like Popeye. Then you can get a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From the archive I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself, and I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo. "Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said. "But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained. "Yes," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
For a holiday, Patty Murphy from Dublin decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "We're saved!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Sure," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!" ______________________________________________________ What's a million years like Little Johnny asked God "What's a million years like to you?" Knowing that Johnny couldn't understand eternity God said "A million years is like a minute to me." Johnny: Wow! What's a million dollars like? God: A million dollars is like a penny to me. Johnny: Gee God you're so generous. Can I have one of your pennies? God: Sure Johnny, just hang on a minute till I find something that small. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lawson Michael Schalm 19, Mayerthorpe, Alberta 19 year old charged with arson in connection to Mayerthorpe CN Rail trestle bridge fire. Mayerthorpe RCMP have charged a 19-year-old man with 18 counts of arson in relation to a fire that burned the CN trestle bridge on Tuesday. Mayerthorpe, about 120 kilometres northwest of Edmonton, saw as many as 21 suspicious fires over a six day period. Lawson Michael Schalm, who is from Mayerthorpe, is charged in connection to many of them. Schalm is the son of former mayor Albert Schalm. He was the mayor of Mayerthorpe when four RCMP officers were killed near the town in 2005. A Facebook page for Schalm includes photos showing the young man dressed in a firefighter cadet uniform and bunker gear. The article says the Mayerthorpe fire department has a cadets program. Youth can join at the age of 15. When they turn 17, they are allowed to respond to general fire calls, it says. The arson case was high priority within the Mayerthorpe detachment. Cpl. Sharon Franks said RCMP were able to find and charge the man because of "numerous tips" from the public. "The dry conditions certainly made it concerning for us and a lot of the officers from Mayerthorpe were certainly focused on finding the person responsible," said Franks. The CN bridge fire forced the evacuation of nearby schools and a trailer park with 38 mobile homes. Some Lac St. Anne County residents living nearby were also told to be ready to leave on one-hour notice. Mayerthorpe fire chief Randy Schroeder said last week almost three dozen firefighters from four different fire departments in the area were called to help douse the flames, alongside agriculture and forestry services members, helicopters and a water bomber. The loss of the bridge will impact the lumber and oil industries "extensively" Schroeder said. Schalm will remain in custody until he makes his first court appearance on May 4th at Stony Plain Provincial Court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Gus RE: Old picture of tornado and eagle Dear Webby, I love your humor email. I have one problem that maybe you can help with. I put a photo from your email on my desktop and now everybody that sees it also wants it. It is the one with the desert scene and the approaching tornado that is an American eagle. Is there a way to access old homor letters or photos?? Gus I upload a fresh Humor Letter every night and overwrite the previous one. Most people just read it on-line at http://webby.com/humor, because they are not supposed to get personal mail at work. Only a very small percentage (about 24000 people for the HTML version) get it in actual email. Because the pictures have a different name every day, they are not overwritten and I usually leave them up on the server for for a year, but take them down if people link to them. The picture that you are referring to is "Storm Brewing". Unfortunately I don't know the name of the artist who created it. I had to take that picture down but for now have uploaded three versions of the picture onto the server again: http://webby.com/humor/StormBrewing-450x338.jpg That is the size you see above, small enough to paste into emails. However, don't link to it ! Just save it to your computer and insert or embed or attach it. If the AOLers and WebTVers find it and a Million of them link it into their email signatures again, I'll take it down again. http://webby.com/humor/StormBrewing600x450.jpg is a bit bigger. That one is 43.5 KB but still loads fairly fast. http://webby.com/humor/StormBrewing-5x375-1500x1000.jpg That picture is 1500 x 1000 pixels at 300 dots per inch and sized for printing a 5" x 3.75" or larger photo. With good quality photo print paper you can get it to look quite decent even at 10" x 8" and frame it in a 14" x 12" frame. Naturally at that size and printer resolution that picture will take a while to load even with a fast DSL connection. Those comments about not linking apply not just to the pictures I upload for you. No webmaster can afford the file transfer bills if a lot of people link to their pictures. Some just take the pictures down when that happens, but many replace them with really nasty pictures that will embarrass the abuser. If you want the picture, best to download it today or tomorrow, because most likely I will have to take it down again in a few days. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Tomato Slices By ShirleyE [74 Posts, 54 Comments] I don't mean you can get ready sliced tomatoes off a plant :0) that would be silly. However, rather than pay for an expensive pack of seeds, or go to the trouble of picking seeds out of a tomato and drying them, you can actually plant slices of tomatoes. It's so easy to do. Simply lay them out, cover with compost and keep them watered. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Biblical bloopers from Sunday school students: Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. ------- The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. ------- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. ------- The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. ------- The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. ------- The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him ------- Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines. ------- When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus, - in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption. ------- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. ___________________________________________________
Humming birds snore! Yes, just like the partner who kept you awake last night.
____________________________________________________ Selma and Irving receive a wedding invitation in the mail. Since it was many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. All was fine until they reached the last line. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this "RSVP" mean?" Selma was at a loss, as for the life of her, she simply couldn't remember. Finally, she cries out: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!" __________________________________________________ A flight attendant noticed a passenger clutching the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white. "Are you nervous?" she asked. "I'm petrified!" said the man. "I don't travel well in the best of times, but lately . . ." "I understand," the attendant said. "You must develop a sense of balance and reality about such things. Some say, if it's your time, it's your time. There's nothing you can do." "I know," said the man, "but I'd feel better on the train." "The train?" chuckled the attendant. "Did you read about the train going through Death Valley last month? A clear, hot day; miles of visibility; nothing near the track for miles; then - Boom! - the train exploded and all was lost." "Heavens!" said the man. "What happened?" Answered the attendant: "A plane fell on it." ____________________________________________________
Stunning photos of abandoned places around the world. It's so sad to see these once beautiful places gone to ruin.

Today on May 5
1494 Christopher Columbus sighted Jamaica on his second trip 
 to the Western Hemisphere. He named the island Santa Gloria.
1798 U.S. Secretary of War William McHenry ordered that the 
 USS Constitution be made ready for sea. The frigate was 
 launched on October 21, 1797, but had never been put to sea.
1809 Mary Kies was awarded the first patent to go to a woman. 
 It was for technique for weaving straw with silk and thread.
1814 The British attacked the American forces at Ft. Ontario, 
 Oswego, NY.
1834 The first mainland railway line opened in Belgium.
1862 The Battle of Puebla took place. It is celebrated 
 as Cinco de Mayo Day.
1865 The Thirteenth Amendment was ratified, abolishing 
 slavery in the U.S.
1891 Music Hall was dedicated in New York City. It was 
 later renamed Carnegie Hall.
1892 The U.S. Congress extended the Geary Chinese 
 Exclusion Act for 10 more years. The act required Chinese 
 in the U.S. to be registered or face deportation.
1901 The first Catholic mass for night workers was held at 
 the Church of St. Andrew in New York City.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda began publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invaded the Dominican Republic.
1925 John T. Scopes, a biology teacher in Dayton, TN, was 
 arrested for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
1926 Eisenstein's film "Battleship Potemkin" was shown in 
 Germany for the first time.
1926 Sinclair Lewis refused a 1925 Pulitzer for "Arrowsmith."
1936 Edward Ravenscroft received a patent for the screw-on 
 bottle cap with a pour lip.
1945 The Netherlands and Denmark were liberated from Nazis.
1945 A Japanese balloon bomb exploded on Gearhart Mountain 
 in Oregon. A pregnant woman and five children were killed.
1955 The Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) became 
 a sovereign state.
1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when 
 he made a 15 minute suborbital flight.
1987 The U.S. congressional Iran-Contra hearings opened.
2016  smiled.


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Safe PDF viewer/editor 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 4

Started mowing this afternoon, but after doing the edges
had to stop. 50 degrees (120 in British Empire Fahrenheit)
is too hot without a wind. Well, the grass is not going to
run away. I'll go after it when it cools off in the morning.

Fort McMurray, the town north of here, known for oil sands, 
has a major wild fire. 70,000 people had to run. Forced
evacuation.

Forest fire erupts behind reporter

Shelter for the 70,000 + people is getting organized via
FaceBook and Skype.

Shelter for Ft McMurray Refugees




>From Bill M
Hello Webby,
In my version of Microsoft Word, to add or remove horizontal
and vertical scroll bars: 

Left-click the ball at the top left corner of the screen >
left-click on Word Options at the bottom of the dialog box >
left-click on Advanced in the Word Options dialog box >
scroll down to Display > check or uncheck the "Show
Horizontal scroll bar" and the Show vertical scroll bar".
Click on OK
I don't see a Tools menu.
Bill Moore

Thanks Bill


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Memphis Ministry prophetess, who stole $60K that were intended for a summer feeding program for low-income children. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 4, in 1626 Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan Island. Native Americans later sold the island (20,000 acres) for $24 in cloth and buttons. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ A 6 year old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our gas passes, as we forgive those who passed gas against us." _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bob and his wife have structured conversations: firstly, she gives him her opinion, then she gives him his opinion.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
>From Bobbie A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. Thasch why you alwaysch feel scho musch schmarter after a few beers. ______________________________________________________ Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Arthur, "How come you aren't married?" Arthur: "I haven't found the right woman yet." George: "So what are you looking for?" Arthur: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and house-keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a really nice and pleasant personality is a must - and money, she's got to have money...and a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have." George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU." Arthur: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeanette Jives-Nealy, 48, Memphis, Tennessee Ministry prophetess stole $60K that were intended for a summer feeding program for low-income children. Jeanette Jives-Nealy, worked at Kingdom Dominion Worldwide Ministries of Memphis, Tennessee. A former Memphis woman has been indicted in a TBI theft investigation. The woman is accused of stealing money intended to fund a summer program for low-income children. TBI According to a press release, 48-year-old Jeanette Jives-Nealy was indicted Tuesday by the Shelby County Grand Jury and charged with one count of Theft over $60,000. Nealy is a former prophetess of Kingdom Dominion Worldwide Ministries of Memphis. The release states the nonprofit organization’s financial statements were investigated for discrepancies in 2014 by TBI Special Agents. During the course of the investigation, investigators developed information that Nealy was the individual responsible for the missing funds, according to the release. Officials say the funds were provided by the Tennessee Department of Human Services and were intended to fund a 2014 summer program food feeding program for low-income children. Nealy currently resides in Tampa, Florida where she was arrested without incident Friday by the Florida Department of Corrections Tampa Circuit Office, according to authorities. Officials say Nealy was booked into the Hillsborough County, Florida Jail, where at the time of the release she was being held without bail, awaiting extradition to Shelby County, Tennessee. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: John RE: Vertical scroll bar in WORD Dear Webby, Good Morning Webby, My wife is running Vista Home and has run into a problem. Â She received a document that needs Adobe Reader XI to open. Is it safe to download Adobe Reader. Daily Voter, Bob Hi Bob ANY PDF reader will do. Adobe Reader is OK, but rather limited. I use Nitro, a PDF reader / Editor. With that you can even fill out PDF forms from the IRS. I routinely use that for any forms, not just tax, fill them out, paste my signature, then "print" it to FAX, and pint it on THEIR paper. Nitro is at https://www.gonitro.com/pdf-reader but nowadays, there are quite a few other free PDF editors available, Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Here is an oldie-goldie that came back to me today. Thanks to Ginnie for sending it! Two nuns who worked in a hospital were out driving in the country when they ran out of gas. As they were standing beside their car on the shoulder of the road, a truck approached them. Noticing the nuns in distress, the trucker stopped and offered to help. When the nuns explained they had run out of gas, the trucker said he would be more than happy to drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or a can. Hearing this, one of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan from the trunk and asked the trucker if it would do. He said it would and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts into the pan. He then handed the pan to the sisters, got back into his truck and waved goodbye. While the nuns were carefully pouring the precious fuel into their gas tank, a cop happened by. He stopped and watched them for a few moments, then said, "Sisters, somehow I don't think that's going to work, but if it does, I am going to become a Catholic!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Styrofoam Meat Trays I found another use for styrofoam meat trays! I needed a nice surface to put a hot pizza on that wouldn't heat up the counter top. These are invaluable for all kinds of things, but a hot pad was the one I thought was the most useful at the time. They are also great for under planters, draining bacon and sausage on with a paper towel or two, spoon and utensil rests when making multiple meals, and so much more. N-JOY! Source: My own need to keep the counters safe and clean. By Poor But Proud from Salem OR ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A sarcastic voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah, right." ___________________________________________________
pontoon plane takes off from flatbed behind pickup
____________________________________________________ A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case of myopera and that he and would have to wear contract lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a cadillac removed. Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing trouble with his duodemon. __________________________________________________ The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to Paul was free, his male ego soared. Soon they were chatting pleasantly, and she told him it was her first flight. "Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my dad." ____________________________________________________
There is so much beauty in just a drop of water.

Today on May 4
1471 In England, the Yorkists defeated the Landcastrians 
 at the battle of Tewkesbury in the War of the Roses.
1493 Alexander VI divided non-Christian world between 
 Spain and Portugal.
1626 Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan Island. 
 Native Americans later sold the island (20,000 acres) for 
 $24 in cloth and buttons.
1715 A French manufacturer debuted the first folding umbrella.
1776 Rhode Island declared its freedom from England two months 
 before the Declaration of Independence was adopted.
1795 Thousands of rioters entered jails in Lyons, France, 
 and massacre 99 Jacobin prisoners.
1814 Napoleon Bonaparte disembarked at Portoferraio on the 
 island of Elba in the Mediterranean.
1886 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter patented the 
 gramophone. It was the first practical phonograph.
1916 Germany agreed to limit its submarine warfare after a 
 demand from U.S. President Wilson.
1930 Mahatma Gandhi was arrested by the British.
1932 Al Capone entered the Atlanta Penitentiary federal 
 prison for income-tax evasion.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commenced as American and 
 Japanese carriers launched their attacks at each other.
1942 The United States began food rationing.
1946 A two-day riot at Alcatraz prison in San Francisco Bay 
 ended. Five people were killed.
1970 The Ohio National Guardsmen opened fire on students 
 during an anti-Vietnam war protest at Kent State University. 
 Four students were killed and nine others were wounded.
1979 Margaret Thatcher became Britain's first woman 
 prime minister.
1989 Oliver North, a former White House aide was convicted 
 of shredding documents and two other crimes. He was acquitted 
 of nine other charges stemming from the Iran-Contra affair. 
 The three convictions were later overturned on appeal.
1998 Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski was given four life 
 sentences plus 30 years by a federal judge in Sacramento, CA. 
 The sentence was under a plea agreement that spared Kaczynski 
 the death penalty.
2000 Londoners elected their mayor for the first time.
2010 Pablo Picasso's "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" sold for 
$106.5 million. 
2016  smiled.


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Vertical scroll bar in WORD 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy Needs A Beer” t- shirt was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 3, in 1992 - Five days of rioting and looting ended in Los Angeles, CA. The riots, that killed 53 people, began after the acquittal of police officers in the beating of Rodney King. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are only 1/100th of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "That would be about four slices of roast beef in the deli where I worked. I can cut ham so thin, that it is kosher." _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bob and his wife have structured conversations: firstly, she gives him her opinion, then she gives him his opinion.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
After ten years of twice weekly therapy, Sharon decided to ask her psychiatrist if she had made any progress. His answer, though very brief and succinct, absolutely devastated her. He said:"'No hablo ingles." ______________________________________________________ A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads: "Here lies Shirley, wife of Morris Schwartz, L. L. D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigration Legal Services " Suddenly, Morris bursts into tears. His brother-in-law says, "You should cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone !" Through his tears, Morris sobs, "Oy, you don't understand! The phone number and Email was left out!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture by her friend Ann ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Tackett, 29, Kensington, New Hampshire A New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy Needs A Beer” t-shirt was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his car. A New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy Needs A Beer” t- shirt was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his car Friday evening. Joshua Tackett, 29, was nabbed after his Chevy Cruz veered off the road in the town of Kensington (pop. 2124). The auto hit a stone wall, a granite post, and a utility pole before coming to a stop across the street from the Kensington Police Department headquarters. Pictured above, Tackett was arrested for drunk driving and booked into the local jail (from which he was later released on $750 bail). Tackett suffered minor injuries in the crash, but declined medical treatment. He is scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday on the misdemeanor charge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: John RE: Vertical scroll bar in WORD Dear Webby, In Microshaft Word, I have lost my scroll/slider bar on the right side of the window that allows me to go up and down in the document. Thankful for wheel mice or I wouldn't be able to do any reasonable editing. Any ideas on how to get it back? John Dear John To display or hide scroll bars On the Tools menu, click Options, and then click the View tab. Under Show, select or clear the Horizontal scroll bar and Vertical scroll bar check boxes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?" The new member replied, "Yes, sure. How about my mother-in-law?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sweet Potato Fries This is the easiest way I've found to make sweet potato (or any other type of) fries. Ingredients: sweet potato (1 or enough to serve your family/guests) Italian dressing (I use bottled "house" Italian) pepper (to taste) paprika (to taste) The Italian dressing takes care of most of the seasonings, and I do not need to add any more salt. Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a jelly roll pan with aluminum foil for easy clean up. Wash sweet potato and cut into quarter inch fries (I leave the skin on). Drizzle Italian dressing lightly over fries. The amount you use will depend on the number of potatoes you are serving. Sprinkle with seasonings (to taste). Toss lightly with your fingers to coat all the potatoes, then spread flat in one layer the cookie sheet. Bake for 20-30 minutes to desired crispness. Serve with Ranch dressing as a dip. Source: I saw something similar for regular potatoes in a magazine several years ago. Finally tried it with the sweet potato fries. Yum! By skeesics56 from NW OH ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, I was discarding things from my wardrobe that no longer fit. My seven- year-old niece was watching as I held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," I said. "I must have worn these when I was 183." My niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" ___________________________________________________
Our beautiful planet
____________________________________________________ "Dawn," asked Mary thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?" "Another woman with MY husband?" Dawn thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from." __________________________________________________ The bathroom scale manufacturer was very proud of the new model being introduced at the trade fair. "Listen to these features: it's calibrated to one-one-hundredth of a pound; it can measure your height as well, in feet or meters; it gives you a readout via an LED or human-voice simulator; and that's not all..." "Very impressive," interrupted a none-too-slender sales rep for a chain of home furnishings stores, "but before I place an order I'll have to try it out." "Be my guest," said the manufacturer graciously. No sooner had the sales rep taken his place on the scale than a loud, very human-sounding voice issued forth: "One at a time, please, one at a time!" He didn't place an order. ____________________________________________________
Beautiful painted landscapes on fallen logs.

Today on May 3
1568 - French forces in Florida slaughtered hundreds of Spanish.
1802 - Washington, DC, was incorporated as a city.
1859 - France declared war on Austria.
1888 - Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Works.
1916 - Irish nationalist Padraic Pearse and two others were 
 executed by the British for their roles in the Easter Rising.
1921 - West Virginia imposed the first state sales tax.
1926 - In Britain, trade unions began a general strike.
1945 - Indian forces captured Rangoon, Burma, from 
 the Japanese.
1948 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that covenants 
 prohibiting the sale of real estate to blacks and other 
 minorities were legally unenforceable.
1952 - The first airplane landed at the geographic North Pole.
1968 - After three days of battle, the U.S. Marines retook 
 Dai Do complex in Vietnam. They found that the North 
 Vietnamese had evacuated the area.
1971 - Anti-war protesters began four days of demonstrations 
 in Washington, DC.
1986 - In NASA's first post-Challenger launch, an unmanned 
 Delta rocket lost power in its main engine shortly after 
 liftoff. Safety officers destroyed it by remote control.
1988 - The White House acknowledged that first lady Nancy 
 Reagan had used astrological advice to help schedule 
 her husband's activities.
1992 - Five days of rioting and looting ended in Los Angeles, 
 CA. The riots, that killed 53 people, began after the 
 acquittal of police officers in the beating of Rodney King.
1997 - The "Republic of Texas" surrendered to authorities 
 ending an armed standoff where two people were held hostage. 
 The group asserts the independence of Texas from the U.S.
2000 - The trial of two Libyans accused of killing 270 people 
 in the bombing of Pan Am flight 103 (over Lockerbie) opened.
2006 - In Alexandria, VA, Al-Quaida conspirator Zacarias 
 Moussaoui was given a sentence of life in prison for his 
 role in the terrorist attack on the U.S. on 
 September 11, 2001. 

2016  smiled.


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Upgrade IQ chip 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Arkansas elementary school teacher arrested for giving alcohol to minors Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 2, in 1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland Islands War. More than 350 people died. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ "No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." --- Abraham Lincoln There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. --- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves. Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another one on the way, so call back later." At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch. Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording is still going strong: "The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last one was a duck." He passed out.
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Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, sister. But I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand." "I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied. Then she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair," the nun said. "Back at our nunnery, we call it catholic shampoo." Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "The curlers are on the house." ______________________________________________________ Two women were at a bar. One said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love." "Well," said the other, "if that caught on, that would definitely revolutionize the game of hockey!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to my dad for this picture: This one bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan William Dickson, 39, Des Moines, Iowa Arkansas elementary school teacher arrested for giving alcohol to minors A Sherwood elementary school teacher accused of giving alcohol to more than 30 minors at an after-prom party has been suspended, a district spokesman said Monday. Marcie Duncan, 48, who works at William Jefferson Clinton Elementary School, is suspended pending an internal investigation in accordance with district policy, Deb Roush of the Pulaski County Special School District said. Duncan teaches fourth grade and has worked at the school for eight years, according to the school's website. Duncan was arrested Sunday and charged with 33 counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, 33 counts of furnishing alcohol to a minor, two counts of third-degree endangering the welfare of a minor and violation of the Arkansas Social Host Law, according to information provided by the Lonoke County jail. Deputies arrested Duncan after they responded around 4 a.m. to a party on her family's property near West Lewisburg Road, Lonoke County Sheriff John Staley said. They found several empty alcohol containers as well as a full-sized keg. Duncan, who appeared intoxicated while talking to police, said she had "everything under control" and didn't see a problem because she had been there the entire night making sure everyone was OK, according to a news release from the sheriff's office. Staley said that several intoxicated students between the ages of 15 and 18 were passed out throughout the premises. Others tried to hide in the nearby woods or escape in their cars, he said. Deputies called students' parents as well as an ambulance for those who were extremely intoxicated, Staley said. None was taken to a hospital for treatment. Duncan was released from the Lonoke County jail Sunday on a $21,000 bond, the sheriff said Monday. 4th grade, 15 - 18 years old and driving their own pick- ups? Must be Arkansas ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: None RE: No Question today No question Here is an ancient joke about tech support: Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an intel inside. How do I get that one out? " Tech Support: "It's actually fairly easy if you had the IQ chip upgraded lately. Have you had that done?" Customer: "No, I don't think so. I'm always one of the last to get the new stuff." Tech Support: "OK, then go tell your manager that I said you qualify for an IQ upgrade." Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy. -------------- Dr Bubba Trailerjack, who bought his degree from Menthol State Unifercity, summed it up quite succinctly: "You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sweet Potato Fries This is the easiest way I've found to make sweet potato (or any other type of) fries. Ingredients: sweet potato (1 or enough to serve your family/guests) Italian dressing (I use bottled "house" Italian) pepper (to taste) paprika (to taste) The Italian dressing takes care of most of the seasonings, and I do not need to add any more salt. Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a jelly roll pan with aluminum foil for easy clean up. Wash sweet potato and cut into quarter inch fries (I leave the skin on). Drizzle Italian dressing lightly over fries. The amount you use will depend on the number of potatoes you are serving. Sprinkle with seasonings (to taste). Toss lightly with your fingers to coat all the potatoes, then spread flat in one layer the cookie sheet. Bake for 20-30 minutes to desired crispness. Serve with Ranch dressing as a dip. Source: I saw something similar for regular potatoes in a magazine several years ago. Finally tried it with the sweet potato fries. Yum! By skeesics56 from NW OH ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk. Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain. Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead. Democratic: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government. Conservative: You have two cows. You hide one in the back yard and sell the milk from it to neighbors for cash to raise the money to pay for the tax on the front yard cow. California: You have two cows and paint minority rights slogans onto them. The government gives you two more cows. New York: You have two cows. You sell one cow so that you can afford to send the other one to an off-shore farm on an island that you can't find on the map. ___________________________________________________
42 times will get you to the moon!
____________________________________________________ After making a silly mistake, an instructor tried to excuse his absentmindedness by telling the class of his plans to propose marriage to his girlfriend later that day. A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet." __________________________________________________ When my neighbor's 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. His mother was not so pleased. She turned turned her mother and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Her mother smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember..." ____________________________________________________
Dublin, Ireland from 100+ years ago.

Today on May 2
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's 
 King Charles II.
1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American 
 rebels fighting the British.
1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead 
 to the rest of the fleet.
1798 The black General Toussaint L’ouverture forced British 
 troops to agree to evacuate the port of Santo Domingo.
1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon.
1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at 
 Grossgorschen.
1865 U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward for 
 the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
1885 The Congo Free State was established by King Leopold II 
 of Belgium.
1885 The magazine "Good Housekeeping" was first published.
1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid 
 photographic film. This is the film from which movies are 
 shown.
1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film 
 was released. It was created by magician George Melies.
1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt 
 and to protect U.S. interests. They did not depart until 
 1933.
1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany.
1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq 
 and that country’s pro-German faction.
1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce 
 house-to-house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender 
 of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria.
1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison.
1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit television 
 pictures across the Atlantic.
1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State University 
burn down the campus ROTC building. The National Guard took 
 control of the campus.
1974 Former U.S. Vice President Spiro T. Agnew was disbarred by 
 the Maryland Court of Appeals.
1974 The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA.
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only 
 cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland Islands War. 
 More than 350 people died.
1994 Nelson Mandela claimed victory after South Africa's first 
 democratic elections.
1999 In Panama, Mireya Moscoso de Grubar, of the Armulfista 
 Party, was elected president. 
2016  smiled.


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Copying just a small selection 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa Man, who arrived at job interview for a taxi company drunk and hits 2 cars in the parking lot before going inside for his interview. Ryan William Dickson, is arrested for drunk driving in Des Moines. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 1, in 1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form Great Britain. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC) In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. --- John Adams (1735 - 1826) That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
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A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "That's strange" said the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?" ______________________________________________________ A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of the bank !" Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know you gave me hundred dollars too much. Bye, Bye. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan William Dickson, 39, Des Moines, Iowa Man arrives at job interview for a taxi company drunk and hits 2 cars in the parking lot before going inside for his interview. Ryan William Dickson, is arrested for drunk driving in Des Moines, Iowa. A Des Moines man was arrested Monday after he allegedly drove himself drunk to an interview with a taxi cab company, hitting parked cars in the lot. Ryan William Dickson, 39, arrived for his interview with Trans Iowa, a taxicab and shuttle company on Army Post Road, at 9:25 a.m., but had a little trouble parking. That’s likely because he blew a .273 on a preliminary breath test, which is three-times the legal limit to drive, according to a police report. A woman on her smoke break saw Dickson trying to maneuver into a parking space, but hit an adjacent car while he was backing up, the report states. Dickson straightened out and pulled into the space, but he crashed into the car in front of him. At first, Dickson told police he hadn’t been drinking, but admitted it later. He said he’d stopped drinking around 2 that morning and went to the hospital for his alcohol consumption. The hospital released him at about 8 a.m., Dickson said, but he drank another fifth of vodka afterward, the report states. When police asked him to complete a walk and turn test at the scene, Dickson began to fall and had to be caught by officers. He said he couldn’t complete the rest of the field sobriety test. He was arrested for operating while intoxicated and booked into the Polk County Jail, but was released later that day. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marge RE: Copy just portions of text Dear Webby Now for the real question. There are times when I want to save just one or two of the jokes but I can't seem to do it. What is the right way to do this? Marge Dear Marge Line up the joke that you want to copy so that all of it shows on the screen. Click at the begin of it, hold down the SHIFT key, and without letting go of it, click the mouse at the end of the joke. Now it is highlighted. Hit CTRL and C simultaneously to copy it. Jump to where you want to paste it, click at the spot where you want it, and hit CTRL V to paste it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man comes home late one night, drunk. "Where have you been?" asks his wife. "In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and even a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife. She calls the Golden Bar. "Do you have golden chairs?" "Yes." "Do you have golden glasses?" "Yes." "Do you have golden beer?" "Yes." "Do you have a golden urinal?" "Hold on." On the other end, she hears "Hey Bob! I think we have a line on the guy who messed up your tuba!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kentucky Style Fried Chicken Found this at "The Cooking Nook". Ingredients 1 whole chicken, cut into pieces 2 - 3 eggs, beaten 3 - 4 Tbsp. oil for frying Coating Mixture: 2 cups flour 4 tsp. paprika 2 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 - 1 tsp. pepper 1 tsp. poultry seasoning 1 tsp. thyme 1 tsp. oregano 1 tsp. tarragon 1/2 tsp. garlic salt 1/2 t. onion salt 1/2 tsp. celery salt Directions Mix together all the coating ingredients and place in a clean plastic bag. Dip each piece into beaten egg, then into the flour mixture in the bag. Coat the chicken completely with the flour mixture. Place the oil in a skillet and heat. Brown the chicken in oil slowly (225 degrees F, if you are using an electric skillet), uncovered. Cover the skillet and continue to fry at a very low heat until the chicken is fully cooked, approximately 1 hour. Drain well on paper towels. Tips and Variations: This recipe can be prepared using a deep fryer and is actually perfect for the fryer. Follow the directions on your fryer. Make sure your oil is hot before adding the chicken. The chicken shouldn't be greasy when it is cooked in hot oil, but if the oil is cool, it will absorb the grease. By redskin. from Brockville, Ont., Can. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I like them." Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened." ___________________________________________________
bohemian rhapsody - cool version :)
____________________________________________________ Bob was having a little trouble with a leg so he went to the doctor. "You have a touch of gout," the doctor said. "I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while." "What?" said the man. "Just so I can walk a little better? Forget it !" __________________________________________________ During her stay at an expensive hotel in Sue woke upin the middle of the night with an upset stomach. She called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When she looked at the charge slip, she was instantly furious. Sue calledroom service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel,but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end cooly explained........."Ma'am, I believe you are complaining about your room number sir." ____________________________________________________
Welcome to Longyearbyen, the Northernmost Town on Earth

Today on May 1
0408 Theodosius II succeeded to the throne of Constantinople.
1308 King Albert was murdered by his nephew John, because 
 he refused his share of the Hapbsburg lands. 
1486 Christopher Columbus convinced Queen Isabella to fund 
 an expedition to the West Indies. 
1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form Great Britain. 
1805 The state of Virginia passed a law requiring all freed 
 slaves to leave the state, or risk either imprisonment or 
 deportation. 
1863 In Virginia, the Battle of Chancellorsville began. 
 General Robert E. Lee's forces began fighting with Union 
 troops under General Joseph Hooker. Confederate General 
 Stonewall Jackson was mortally wounded by his own soldiers 
 in this battle. (May 1-4) 
1867 Reconstruction in the South began with black voter registration. 
1877 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes withdrew all Federal 
 troops from the South, ending Reconstruction. 
1884 The construction of the first American 10-story 
 building began in Chicago, IL. 
1889 Asa Candler published a full-page advertisement in The 
 Atlanta Journal, proclaiming his wholesale and retail drug 
 business as "sole proprietors of Coca-Cola ... Delicious. 
 Refreshing. Exhilarating. Invigorating." Mr. Candler did 
 not actually achieve sole ownership until 1891 at a cost 
 of $2,300. 
1898 The U.S. Navy under Dewey defeated the Spanish fleet 
 at Manila Bay in the Philippines. 
1905 In New York, radium was tested as a cure for cancer. 
1915 A German submarine sank the U.S. ship Gulflight. 
1927 Adolf Hitler held his first Nazi meeting in Berlin. 
1931 The Empire State Building in New York was dedicated 
 and opened. It was 102 stories tall and was the tallest 
 building in the world at the time. 
1934 The Philippine legislature accepted a U.S. proposal 
 for independence. 
1937 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed an act of 
 neutrality, keeping the United States out of World War II. 
1944 The Messerschmitt Me 262, the first combat jet, 
 made its first flight. 
1945 Martin Bormann, private secretary to Adolf Hitler, 
 escaped from the Fuehrerbunker as the Red Army 
 advanced on Berlin. 
1945 Admiral Karl Doenitz succeeded Hitler as leader of 
 the Third Reich. This was one day after Hitler suicided. 
1948 The People's Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea) 
 was proclaimed. 
1958 James Van Allen reported that two radiation belts 
 encircled Earth. 
1960 Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy plane was shot down over 
 the Soviet Union. Powers was taken prisoner. 
1961 Fidel Castro announced there would be no more 
 elections in Cuba. 
1967 Anastasio Somoza Debayle became president of Nicaragua. 
1968 In the second day of battle, U.S. Marines, with the 
 support of naval fire, continue their attack on a North 
 Vietnamese Division at Dai Do. 
1970 Students at Kent State University riot in downtown 
 Kent, OH, in protest of the American invasion of Cambodia. 
1981 The Japanese government announced that it would limit 
 passenger car exports to the United States over the next 
 three years. 
1986 The Tass News Agency reported the Chernobyl nuclear 
 power plant accident. 
1986 Bill Elliott set a stock car speed record with his 
 Ford Thunderbird in Talladega, AL. Elliott reached a 
 speed of 212.229 mph. 
1992 On the third day of the Los Angeles riots resulting 
 from the Rodney King beating trial, King appeared in 
 public to appeal for calm, he asked, "Can we all get along?" 
1998 Arrow Air was fined $5 million for using spare parts 
 that lacked federal approval in the U.S. 
1999 On Mount Everest, a group of U.S. mountain climbers 
 discovered the body of George Mallory. Mallory had died in 
 June of 1924 while trying to become the first person to 
 reach the summit of Everest. At the time of the discovery 
 it was unclear whether or not Mallory had actually 
 reached the summit. 
2001 Chandra Levy was last seen in Washington, DC. Her 
 remains were found in Rock Creek Park on May 22, 2002. 
 California Congressman Gary Condit was questioned in 
 the case due to his relationship with Levy. 
2011 It was announced that U.S. soldiers had killed Osama 
 bin Laden in Pakistan.
2016  smiled.


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Is it necessary to back up drivers? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, April 30

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DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an NC man arrested when he tried to pay bail with counterfeit money Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 30, in 1803 The U.S. purchased the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker. --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000) "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --- Franklin P. Jones _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Women hate self-service gas stations. The service is always so poor ... and slow too.
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When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" Doc asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," Doc said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime!" ______________________________________________________ Three old pilots walking on the ramp. The first one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one yells in reply, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one hollers back, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!" ______________________________________________________ Taber ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Bailey, 31, Albany, Indiana Indiana REGIONAL Burglar sues homeowner claiming he suffered 'serious and permanent damage' when he was shot in the arm by the resident as he fled the scene A burglar who broke into an Indiana man's garage two years ago has sued the homeowner for shooting him during the incident. David Bailey, now 31, of Albany, Indiana, broke into David McLaughlin's Dunkirk garage on April 21, 2014, authorities said. McLaughlin, now 33, fired gunshots at the intruder as he fled, hitting Bailey in the left arm as he ran through an alley. Bailey's lawsuit, which was filed last week against McLaughlin, asks for 'a monetary award in an amount sufficient to compensate (Bailey) for all damages', according to KSDK. David Bailey (pictured), 31, of Albany, Indiana, broke into David McLaughlin's Dunkirk garage on April 21, 2014 ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brie RE: Driver Updates Dear Webby Our consultant tried to sell us a program that backs up all the drivers for printers and so on. Do we really need that? Brie Dear Brie I used to back up drivers but found that to be a silly nuisance. Some of them won't install properly unless installed from the CD that came with the device they are for, and some have become obsolete. For example, if you send a printer to the garage sale and get a new one, do you really bother to get rid of the driver for the old one? The same goes for fax programs. Each one that you try and discard leaves behind a driver. That of course leads to a dangerous accumulation of drivers that may or may not interfere with each other or other programs. At best they waste time during start-up, at worst they prevent programs or devices from operating as well as they should. Drivers are easy enough to download from the manufacturers web site, and if you get a CD with a new device, store that in a ziplock bag taped to the side of the computer or desk. That way, if you replace the harddrive or the computer, you got everything handy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ At 75 Millie still walked down to the park every day, sat on "HER" bench and fed old bread from the old folks home kitchen to the birds. One day she picked up a whole loaf that had gone past it's prime instead of the buns she usually got. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each bird with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of dumb birds that could find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. She smiled at him and exclaimed:" That is an excellent idea!" Then she handed him the half loaf of bread she still had, and said: "Here, you bring it to them." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kentucky Style Fried Chicken Found this at "The Cooking Nook". Ingredients 1 whole chicken, cut into pieces 2 - 3 eggs, beaten 3 - 4 Tbsp. oil for frying Coating Mixture: 2 cups flour 4 tsp. paprika 2 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 - 1 tsp. pepper 1 tsp. poultry seasoning 1 tsp. thyme 1 tsp. oregano 1 tsp. tarragon 1/2 tsp. garlic salt 1/2 t. onion salt 1/2 tsp. celery salt Directions Mix together all the coating ingredients and place in a clean plastic bag. Dip each piece into beaten egg, then into the flour mixture in the bag. Coat the chicken completely with the flour mixture. Place the oil in a skillet and heat. Brown the chicken in oil slowly (225 degrees F, if you are using an electric skillet), uncovered. Cover the skillet and continue to fry at a very low heat until the chicken is fully cooked, approximately 1 hour. Drain well on paper towels. Tips and Variations: This recipe can be prepared using a deep fryer and is actually perfect for the fryer. Follow the directions on your fryer. Make sure your oil is hot before adding the chicken. The chicken shouldn't be greasy when it is cooked in hot oil, but if the oil is cool, it will absorb the grease. By redskin. from Brockville, Ont., Can. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home." ___________________________________________________
mason bee pulling a nail out of a cement block
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert ! From Ms Myrna What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. __________________________________________________ An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross- examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once." "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?" The witness said meekly, "MY mother did." ____________________________________________________
25 Cell Phone Towers Disguised to Look Like Something Else

Today on April 30
0030 Jesus of Nazareth was crucified. 
0313 Licinius unified the whole of the eastern empire.
1250 King Louis IX of France was ransomed for one million dollars. 
1803 The U.S. purchased the Louisiana Territory from France 
 for $15 million. 
1849 The republican patriot and guerrilla leader Giuseppe 
 Garabaldi repulsed a French attack on Rome. 
1864 Work began on the Dams along the Red River. The work would 
 allow Union General Nathaniel Banks' troops to sail over the 
 rapids above Alexandria, Louisiana. 
1900 Hawaii was organized as an official U.S. territory. 
1900 Casey Jones was killed while trying to save the runaway 
 train "Cannonball Express." 
1938 Happy Rabbit appeared in the cartoon "Porky's Hare Hunt." 
 This rabbit would later evolve into Bugs Bunny. 
1939 The first railroad car equipped with fluorescent lights 
 was put into service. The train car was known as the 
 "General Pershing Zephyr." 
1943 The British submarine HMS Seraph dropped 'the man who 
 never was,' a dead man the British planted with false 
 invasion plans, into the Mediterranean off the coast 
 of Spain. 
1945 Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun committed suicide. They had 
 been married for one day. One week later Germany surrendered 
 unconditionally. 
1947 The name of Boulder Dam, in Nevada, was changed back 
 to Hoover Dam. 
1964 The FCC ruled that all TV receivers should be equipped to 
 receive both VHF and UHF channels. 
1968 U.S. Marines attacked a division of North Vietnamese in 
 the village of Dai Do. 
1970 U.S. troops invaded Cambodia to disrupt North Vietnamese 
 Army base areas. The announcement by U.S. President Nixon 
 led to widespread protests. 
1972 The North Vietnamese launched an invasion of the South. 
1975 Communist North Vietnamese troops entered the 
 Independence Palace of South Vietnam in Saigon. 11 Marines 
 lifted off of the U.S. Embassy were the last soldiers to 
 evacuate. 
1980 Terrorists seized the Iranian Embassy in London. 
1984 U.S. President Reagan signed cultural and scientific 
 agreements with China. He also signed a tax accord that 
 would make it easier for American companies to operate 
 in China. 
1991 An estimated 125,000 people were killed in a cyclone 
 that hit Bangladesh. 
1998 NATO was expanded to include Poland, Hungary and the 
 Czech Republic. The three nations were formally admitted 
 the following April at NATO's 50th anniversary summit. 
1998 United and Delta airlines announced their alliance that 
 would give them control of 1/3 of all U.S. passenger seats. 
1998 In the U.S., Federal regulators fined a contractor 
 $2.25 million for improper handling of oxygen canisters on 
 ValuJet that crashed in the Florida Everglades in 1996. 
2002 Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was 
overwhelmingly approved for another five years as 
president. 
2016  smiled.


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How to avoid network Logon hassle 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an NC man arrested when he tried to pay bail with counterfeit money Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 29, in 1429 Joan of Arc lead Orleans, France, to victory over Britain. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. --- Donald H. Rumsfeld The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase." The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare, just got on this vera moment." They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus. It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are ya trin' to overcharge me for the ticket -- but now you're gone 'n drowned me boy Jonny."
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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
During a readiness exerciseBob and Jim were guarding the entrance to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept. When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it. "I don't see why I have to show you my ID," the pilot snapped. "After all, it is my plane." "Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage, and if you don't change your attitude right f....riendly now, you will never see it again!" ______________________________________________________ Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually. Liz: I'm the examiner! ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jarious Treymayne Mock 20 High Point, North Carolina NC man arrested when he tried to pay bail with counterfeit money A 20-year-old High Point man's bail jumped from $200 to $2,000 tonight after authorities added charges that he tried to pay his original bail with counterfeit money. Magistrates said it all started when Jarious Treymayne Mock of 728 Forrest St. walked out of a Greensboro night club, saw nearby police officers and yelled, “Screw the police,” but in a more graphic manner. That got the Greensboro officers’ attention, magistrates said. The officers ran a check on Mock and found he was wanted on a warrant on a charge of failing to appear in court, a charge that normally carries a $200 bail. As he was processed in the Guilford County jail, officers asked him if he’d like to pay his bail with cash in his wallet. He agreed and officers pulled money out of the wallet. Authorities said a $100 bill and a $20 bill from the wallet were both counterfeit. Mock now faces a charge of possession of a counterfeit instrument or currency. He remains in the Guilford County jail. His bail is now $2,000. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Don RE: Network Logon Hassle Dear Webby my day would not be complete with out the Humor Letter, I love it, thanks for sending it to me. I have a problem, I recently sign up for SBC DSL and after installing the software for it, I now receive the following message every time I boot my computer: "Enter your network password for Microsoft Networking", I haven't put in a password because I don't want that message to come up every time the computer is booted. Can you tell me what to do to get rid of the message, so I don't have to click cancel every time I boot? Thank you for your help. Don Dear Don Try this: Click the Start menu, mouse over Settings, then click the control panel. Double-click the Network icon. Under "Primary Network Logon," selected the "Microsoft Network Logon." Depending on your version and set-up, you may have to mouse around a bit there till you find the spot to give the primary network user a name. Any short nickname usually does the trick. After restarting, when the logon window comes up, enter that user name, leave the password blank, and hit Enter. When your computer asks you to confirm that blank password, hit Enter again. After that, you should never see the logon screen again. That blank password trick does not work when the user has not been given a name. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert Users - People who press keys on other peoples computers. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycled Drink Bottle for Watering Seeds By ShirleyE [71 Posts, 53 Comments] Seeds and seedlings of course need watering carefully so they don't get battered or washed about. If you don't have a small watering can you can use a drink bottle. Carefully make holes in the lid. This is best done with a drill bit, but if you don't possess a drill you can use pointed scissors. Be very careful if using scissors as they can slip or pierce quite suddenly and injure you. Make sure you use a wooden board and press the scissor point directly downwards. Now you can fill the bottle, replace the lid and use it like a watering can. Do yourself a favor and use a nail to poke the holes. Scissors tend to suddenly close and hurt you. Nails won't do that. By the way, if you don't have a hammer, use a package of frozen ground meat as a hammer, not an expensive shoe! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do that." ___________________________________________________
for mother's day
____________________________________________________ Coming out of church, Mrs. Smith asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?" "I didn't notice," admitted Mr. Smith. "And that dress Mrs. Davis was wearing," continued Mrs. Smith, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Smith. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Smith. "A lot of good it does you to go to church!" __________________________________________________ Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something his lover said. After marriage, many men fall asleep before their wife finishes talking. ____________________________________________________
A Giant Gallery of Unique Staircase Designs. I would fall through some of these!

Today on April 29
1289 Qala'un, the Sultan of Egypt, captured Tripoli.
1429 Joan of Arc lead Orleans, France, to victory over Britain.
1661 The Chinese Ming dynasty occupied Taiwan.
1672 King Louis XIV of France invaded the Netherlands.
1813 Rubber was patented by J.F. Hummel.
1852 The first edition of Peter Roget's Thesaurus published.
1858 Austrian troops invaded Piedmont.
1862 New Orleans fell to Union forces during the Civil War.
1913 Gideon Sundback patented an all-purpose zipper.
1924 An open revolt broke out in Santa Clara, Cuba.
1927 Construction of the Spirit of St. Louis was 
 completed for Lindbergh.
1945 The German Army in Italy surrendered 
 unconditionally to the Allies.
1945 In a bunker in Berlin, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun 
 were married. Hitler designated Admiral Karl Doenitz 
 his successor.
1946 Twenty-eight former Japanese leaders were indicted 
 in Tokyo as war criminals.
1974 U.S. President Nixon announced he was releasing 
 edited transcripts of secretly made White House tape 
 recordings related to the Watergate scandal.
1975 The U.S. embassy in Vietnam was evacuated as North 
 Vietnamese forces fought their way into Saigon.
1984 In California, the Diablo Canyon nuclear reactor 
 went online after a long delay due to protests.
1990 The destruction of the Berlin Wall began.
1992 Exxon executive Sidney Reso was kidnapped outside 
 his Morris Township, NJ, home by Arthur Seale. Seale 
 was a former Exxon security official. Reso died while 
 in captivity.
1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit 
 four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating 
 trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days.
1994 Israel and the PLO signed an agreement in Paris which 
 granted Palestinians broad authority to set taxes, 
 control trade and regulate banks under self-rule in the 
 Gaza Strip and Jericho.
1998 The U.S., Canada and Mexico end tariffs on $1 billion 
 in NAFTA trade.
1998 Brazil announced a plan to protect a large area of 
 Amazon forest. The area was about the size of Colorado.
2009 NATO expelled two Russian diplomats from NATO 
 headquarters in Brussels over a spy scandal in Estonia. 
 Russia's Foreign Ministry criticized the expulsions. 
2016  smiled.


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Adding a wireless machine to a wired W10 network 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 28

The fox at the end of the street has 2 young ones this year,
and they were outside the first time today, bouncing around,
chasing bugs and butterflies as if they had not made up their
mind whether they are going to be pups or kittens. I'll take
my camera along on my walk tomorrow evening.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a PA woman, who was arrested after she was found with counterfeit credit cards, fake IDs and erratically driving a $125,000 BMW, that was not hers. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 28, in 1789:A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts. --- Bethania McKenstry You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not? --- George Bernard Shaw _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ ==From Jennie Dear Webby, at one time you had some funny description of men and women as if they were chemical elements. Do you still have those and could you run them again? Please and Thank You Jenni=== Here they are: "Periodic Elements" Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the periodic table (from Chemistry class)elements: Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180+/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate times. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one - none of that three wishes jazz, OK?" The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying, and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie was taken aback a bit, but after some thought said, "No, I don't think I can do that; think about the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement and steal and concrete that would be needed. I'm sorry, you will have to choose another wish." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why do they get upset at us so easily, what are their true desires and needs? What do they mean when they say "Nothing!". Basically what makes them tick?!" The genie stared at him and blinked a couple times. "So, do you want two lanes or four?" ______________________________________________________ An older couple regularly attended church. The pastor was much impressed by how harmonious and how in love they seemed. They always held hands all through the service. One day after church, the pastor couldn't resist going up to them to express his admiration. He said, "I find it so inspirational to see how deeply in love you are, even, after all these years, holding hands like that." The wife looked up sharply and said, "It's not love, Pastor, I'm just keeping him from cracking his knuckles." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Markia Cherise Williams, 19 Willington, Pennsylvania PA woman arrested after she was found with counterfeit credit cards, fake IDs and erratically driving a $125,000 BMW, that was not hers. Connecticut State Police arrested a Pennsylvania woman on identity theft charges after they stopped a 2016 BMW they said may have been purchased fraudulently. Officers arrested Markia Cherise Williams, 19, after police observed her driving erratically on I-84 in Willington Sunday, April 24, 2016 around 4 p.m. When they stopped the BMW X6 M-series, valued at $125,000, they found counterfeit credit cards and numerous fake IDs from Connecticut, Rhode Island and Florida, according to police. Her passenger had no identification. On paper, the car was purchased in New Jersey a week earlier by someone who lived in Virginia – but police believe that person’s identity may have been stolen to finance the luxury car. Police reported finding a slew of credit cards, bills and drivers licenses from several states in her possession. Neither the driver nor the passenger could explain how they ended up in the vehicle or where the registered owner was. Williams was charged with traveling at an unreasonable speed, credit card theft (five counts), credit card counterfeiting (five counts), identity theft (six counts), and forgery (six counts). The male passenger was not charged at the time, but police said they were still investigating. She is held on $15,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna RE: Adding a wireless laptop to a wired network Dear Webby ..here's one for you. While I'm pretty well versed with computers in general, as far as networks and sharing goes, I'm a complete moron. My MAIN computer is the desktop here, hardwired into the cable modem. It has all the files on it I need to maintain. My new laptop is wireless and in the living room. Is it possible to set up some"thing" where the laptop can access the files that are on the desktop and update them THERE? Or am I just wishing on a star? Love, Donna UPDATE ============ As luck would have it, all the research I did, all the help and instructions you gave me, (the stonecarvers was going to be my last shot because the button on the modem also controls my TV wireless and a wifi extender)...the answer turned out to be RIDICULOUSLY SIMPLE. While on the phone with Time Warner yesterday with a cable TV related issue, he asked if he could help with anything else, and I jokingly mentioned the networking issue (figuring of course the TV tech support knew nothing of computer issues.) He gave me a password from Time Warner, and told me to start with the LAPTOP, since it was the "alien being" to the modem instead of starting with the desktop, when creating the Home Network. Well, sure enough, I created the Home Network on the Laptop (which gave me a different password) (and yes, the wi fi extender and the wi fi have passwords as well), then I came in HERE to the main computer, the desktop and added IT to the homegroup created by the "alien" laptop, entered the password and VOILA! I even went back to the laptop and successfully accessed files in HERE which was my main objective. So that might be something you want to note for Windoze 10 (which I know you just LOVE)....start with the NEW computer, create the Network, then add the ORIGINAL computer. Thanks for all your help...I LOVE the stonecarvers work. (and as always..hehehe) Love, Donna Dear Donna Thanks for that very valuable information! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Associated Press, New Orleans, LA Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have been operating, or planning to, in New Orleans. Louisiana Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 had been detained. The Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. However, police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cranberry Salsa By attosa [197 Posts, 474 Comments] I admit I used to only serve cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner because of the bright colour to add a little umph to the plate. Now that I make cranberry salsa, it's all about the amazing sweet, salty, spicy flavour! I get asked for this recipe ALL the time. I hope you enjoy it, too! Approximate Time: 25 minutes Ingredients: 1 pkg (12 oz) fresh or frozen cranberries 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 apple 2 limes 2 Tbsp water 3 green onions 1 jalapeno pepper 1/4 cup chopped cilantro salt and sugar to taste Steps: Empty your cranberries into a saucepan. Transfer 1/2 a cup of them to a bowl. Peel off a couple strips of zest from one of the limes, drop in with cranberries. Add the sugar and water to the pan and cook over low heat. Stir occasionally, cooking for about 10 minutes until the sugar melts and the cranberries are soft. Increase the heat to medium and let the cranberries burst. This takes about 5 minutes. While that's cooking down, peel and chop the 1/2 apple and coarsely chop reserved cranberries. Reduce heat to low and add to the pot. Stir for 2 minutes. Turn off heat and add lime juice. Chop your jalapeno and green onions, add to pot. Season with salt and sugar to taste. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Before serving, add chopped cilantro and mix well. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Stress Test: If you see two dolphins in this picture, then your stress level is OK. If you see anything else, your stress level is too high and you need some chocolate. ___________________________________________________
The Raven - James Earl Jones
____________________________________________________ Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves? A: Buy her a diamond ring. Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They're the ones dancing with everyone. __________________________________________________ Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's not a father, you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and got three kids!" ____________________________________________________
Beautiful waterfalls around the planet.

Today on April 28
0357:Constantius II visited Rome for the first time.
1282:Villagers in Palermo led a revolt against French rule 
 in Sicily.
1635:Virginia Governor John Harvey was accused of treason 
 and removed from office.
1686:The first volume of Isaac Newton's "Principia
Mathamatic" was published.
1789:A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a 
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. 
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
1818:U.S. President James Monroe proclaimed naval
disarmament on the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain.
1896:The Addressograph was patented by J.S. Duncan.
1902:A revolution broke out in the Dominican Republic.
1910:First night air flight was performed by Claude 
 Grahame-White in England.
1914:W.H. Carrier patented the design of his air
conditioner.
1916:The British declared martial law throughout Ireland.
1919:The League of Nations was founded.
1920:Azerbaijan joined the USSR.
1932:The yellow fever vaccine for humans was announced.
1937:The first animated-cartoon electric sign was displayed
 on a building on Broadway in New York City. It was created
 by Douglas Leight.
1945:Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were 
 executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee 
 the country.
1946:The Allies indicted Tojo with 55 counts of war crimes.
1947:Norwegian anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl and five
 others set out in a balsa wood raft known as Kon Tiki to 
 prove that Peruvian Indians could have settled in Polynesia.
 The trip began in Peru and took 101 days to complete the 
 crossing of the Pacific Ocean.
1952:The U.S. occupation of Japan officially ended when a 
 treaty with the U.S. and 47 other countries went into
 effect.
1953:French troops evacuated northern Laos.
1965:The U.S. Army and Marines invaded the Dominican 
 Republic to evacuate Americans.
1967:Muhammad Ali refused induction into the U.S. Army and 
 was stripped of boxing title. He cited religious grounds 
 for his refusal.
1969:Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France.
1974:The last Americans were evacuated from Saigon.
1988:In Maui, HI, one flight attendant was killed when the 
 fuselage of a Boeing 737 ripped open in mid-flight.
1989:Mobil announced that they were divesting from South 
 Africa because congressional restrictions were too costly.
1994:Former CIA official Aldrich Ames, who had given U.S. 
 secrets to the Soviet Union and then Russia, pled guilty to 
 espionage and tax evasion. He was sentenced to life in
prison without parole.
1996:U.S. President Clinton gave a 4 1/2 hour videotaped 
 testimony as a defense witness in the criminal trial of his 
 former Whitewater business partners.
1997:A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons took
 effect. Russia and other countries such as Iraq and North 
 Korea did not sign.
2001:A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the 
 first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California
 businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination
 was the international space station. 
2016  smiled.


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