How to store SD cards 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 11

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
OK City car jacker pulled knife, gun,
got tenderized and sat upon till cops showed up
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 11 in
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ People care more about being thought to have taste than about being thought either good, clever or amiable. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Like most puppies, mine is not finicky about what he puts in his mouth. He Eats anything. But the day he swallowed a quarter, I panicked and called the vet. "What should I do?" I pleaded over the phone. My extremely laid-back vet answered calmly, "Swallowing a quarter is nothing to worry about. But if he does it again and a can of beer shoots out of his rear, give me a call." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ SIXTEEN STEPS TO BUILD A CAMPFIRE 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make pyramid structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Light Match 8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled 'kerosene'. 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Re-label can to read 'gasoline'. 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jordan Bond, 29 Oklahoma City, Oklahoma OK City car jacker pulled knife, gun, got tenderized and sat upon till cops showed up Brothers Juan and Justo Sop were getting home from work at 11 p.m. Sunday in Oklahoma City when an attempted carjacker tried to take their vehicle, the brothers told KFOR. But these brothers weren’t about to let the attempted carjacker make off with their vehicle, police said. Instead, the two brothers started to fight back — and when a third brother, Antonio, heard the commotion outside the house, he ran out to join the melee as well, police said. “We got him down on the ground, but he took out a knife,” Antonio Sop told KFOR. “Then we grabbed the knife, took it away from him.” It turned out a knife wasn’t all the carjacker had on him, though. “Then he had a gun, too,” Sop told the TV station. “He put two shots in the ground.” By the time police arrived at the scene, the suspect — Jordan Michael Bond, 29 — had been wrestled to the ground by the three men, Oklahoma City Police Department spokesman Gary Knight said in a statement. Even though the brothers were sitting on top of the suspect holding him down, the would-be carjacker was still holding onto his gun by the time police got there, Antonio Sop told KFOR. But police were able to kick the firearm out of his hand, KFOR reports. “He was taken into police custody at that time,” Knight said in a statement. Bond was then taken to the Oklahoma County Jail, police said. Booked at the jail early Monday morning, Bond now faces charges of possession of a firearm, robbery and three counts of shooting with intent to kill, according to Oklahoma County Jail records. Bond has previous felony convictions, records indicate. Bond for Bond has been set at $164,000, records said. Previously, Bond was arrested by Oklahoma City police in 2008 for driving under the influence, Knight said. Bond was also arrested earlier this year in Oklahoma City for possession of a controlled substance. In May, Bond was charged with trespassing in Kingfisher County, northwest of Oklahoma City, according to state court records. Oklahoma City police said they’re glad to get Bond off the street — but don’t usually recommend the kind of hands-on tactics the Sop brothers employed. In this case, though, police said they can’t deny the brothers succeeded. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: How to store SD cards Dear Webby, the way that I store my sd cards is in a baseball card album. the slots for cards is small enough to store the sd cards and also put a description in. They sell pages to go in a loose leaf binder. I suppose business card holders would work too but they would be a little smaller. I found binders and pages on amazon. Marlene Dear Marlene Great idea! Now, where do you buy those nowadays? Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming. Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't disrupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order. When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed. Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for two." At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make that five, and one for Bob recording from the next room."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Little Johnny was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. Little Johnny turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." His mother smiled reassuringly at Little Johnny. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." Little Johnny looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. Little Johnny thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver - Sifting Ingredients If you don't have a fly sifter but a recipe calls for sifting ingredients, put the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir well with a whisk. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Puppy Size "Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer. "What is it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked. "Puppy size!" replied the mother. "Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for." "I know...we have seen most of them," the mom said in frustration. Just then Danielle came walking into the office "Well, did you find one?" asked her mom. "No, not this time," Danielle said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?" The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed. "You never know when we will get more dogs. Fortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said. Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said. Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration. "We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added. Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs. Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one." It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup. The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer. "Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!" she screamed with joy. "It's the puppy size!" "But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks," Mom said. "No not size ---- the sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed," she said. "Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!" The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom's eyes gathered tears. As she stooped down to hug the child. "Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said. Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!"
Unraveling ropes into fractal like patterns.
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist." And at that point, the proctologist fainted. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 11, in 
1282 Llywelyn (Llewelyn ap Gruffydd) was killed in Cilmeri,
central Wales. 

1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took
place in New England. 

1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds.

1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention,
which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges of
treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent to the
guillotine the following January. 

1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a
tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental
procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the
anesthetic. 

1872 Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback became America's
first black governor when he took office as acting governor
of Louisiana. 

1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It
was the first American playhouse lit exclusively by
electricity. 

1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine
exhibitors. 

1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life
of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 

1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 

1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry
American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of
Windsor. 

1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the
League of Nations. 

1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States.
The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries. 

1943 The City Center of Music and Drama was dedicated in New
York by Mayor Fiorello La Guardia. 

1946 The United Nations International Children's Emergency
Fund (UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly.
The fund provides relief to children in countries devastated
by war. 

1961 The first direct American military support for South
Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army
helicopters arrived in Saigon. 

1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first
time in Toulouse, France. 

1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime
Minister Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich
pact when they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure
of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation
creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would
be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic
waste dumps. 

1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st
fight to Trevor Berbick. 

1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation
for $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio
and Television. 

1986 The government of South Africa expanded its media
restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning
coverage of a wide range of anti-apartheid protests. 

1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were
sold at Christie's for £82,500. 

1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when
tons of illegal fireworks exploded. 

1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12
years of marriage. 

1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for
blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in
New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the
First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech in the
U.S.). 

1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets
entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to
restore control the breakaway republic. 

1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when
leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade
declaration known as "The Miami Process." 

1996 In Crystal City, VA, "The Art of the Toy" opened. The
exhibit was at the Patent and Trademark Office Museum. 

1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political
ally of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He
conferred with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. 

1997 More than 270 Tutsi refugees from the Democratic
Republic of Congo were killed by Juto guerillas in Mudende,
Rwanda. 

1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming
conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's
"greenhouse gases." 

1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the
entire genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 

1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month
journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in
September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scientists
had failed to convert English measures to metric values. 

1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee
pushed through three articles of impeachment against U.S.
President Clinton. 

2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced
that he would end his three-plus year retirement and become
an active National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When
Lemieux returned officially he became the first owner/player
in NHL history. 

2001 U.S. Attorney General Ashcroft announced the first
federal indictment directly related to the terrorist attacks
on the United States on September 11, 2001. Zacarias
Moussaoui was charged with six conspiracy charges. Moussaoui
was in custody at the time of the attacks. 

2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison
ranches. 

2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush
would withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile
Treaty with Russia. 

2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as
part of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain
evidence against an international software piracy ring. 

2009 The game Angry Birds was released. 

2013 Standard & Poors announced that Facebook would join its
S&P 500 index "after the close of trading on December 20." 

2017  smiled.


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SD cards for back-up 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 10

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida Man Accused of Posing as Uber Driver 
and Holding Women in South Carolina Arrested
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 10 in
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The
papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication.
Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in
January 1521. 

1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the
first pneumatic tires. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. --- Elvis Presley (1935 - 1977) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm going to drop this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" "No sir," one student called out. "No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver won't dissolve in this particular acid." "Because if it would, you would have asked for MY coin!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death row for nearly 20 years. During that time, he had befriended the Warden. Now, the Warden still had a job to do, but that didn't stop him from treatin' Slash special from time to time. A week before Slash was to go to the electric chair, the Warden asked Slash if there was anything special he would like. Slash thought for a bit and said he would like the Warden to contact his wife and have her make meatloaf for him the rest of his life (which by this time, was short). Of course, the Warden complied and each day, Slash sat down and had a big feed of his wife's meatloaf. The night before the big day, another prisoner was allowed to visit Slash and asked him. "Aren't you afraid of dying tomorrow?" Slash answered' "I ain't gonna die tomorrow." The other prisoner then said, "but tomorrow is Friday and we all know, that's the day they're sendin' you to the electric chair." "Don't matter," said Slash, "if this meatloaf can't kill me, nothin' can." ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ From Vic While working in a Polish neighborhood in Chicago, I sustained a small injury to my eye from some flying debris around a construction site. It was giving me some trouble, so I visited an ophthalmologist in the local neighborhood. The doctor pointed to the eye chart, displaying the letters 'CVKPNWXSCZ'. "Can you read that?" the doc asked. "Can I read it?" I replied. "Yes, sure. I think I dated her sister!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Farris Kaloti, 28, Pinecrest, Florida Florida Man Accused of Posing as Uber Driver and Holding Women in South Carolina Arrested A South Florida man who is accused of assaulting women while posing as an Uber driver near the University of South Carolina has been arrested, authorities said. Farris Kaloti, 28, was taken into custody Thursday, Pinecrest Police said. Police at the University of South Carolina say Kaloti had been on and around campus offering rides to female students. Once they were in his car he would take them somewhere other than their desired destination and would refuse to let them out of the car, police said. After seeing reports about Kaloti, a Pinecrest detective who regularly visits Wholefoods recognized Kaloti as a frequent customer, and a Wholefoods customer reported seeing him in the store. Police set up surveillance and took him into custody. Kaloti is not known to have committed a crime in Pinecrest. Officials said they have been in contact with police in South Carolina. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Merv Re: SD for backups Dear Webby, In regards to CDs for backup, I've found some of my CDs, such as, well especially Kodak eventually get holes in them. If you hold them up to a light source the holes are evident. All my backups are done on flash-drives or external hard- drive media. Even SD cards are more reliable than CDs. I think due to my experience with CDs I wouldn't trust them with any important storage at all. Kind regards, Merv Australia Dear Merv I agree with you 100%. That is why I don't recommend CDs for backups. Commercial music CDs MIGHT last longer, because they are not burned but punched. I also agree that SD cards are much more reliable. The only part about them, that I don't like, are their small size and tendency to get lost. Some day I will have to get organized and devise a permanent way to store them. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boarding house, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe every time I have to take the garbage out to the curb or check my mail!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband 2 years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?" She replied, "No, not yet, Father." The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer husband." She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father." They parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs.Donovan, how are ye these days?" She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!" The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?" She replied, "Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!" The Father said, "That's wonderful!" How is yer loving husband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow up yer foo.. damn candle." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver - Squeeze Bottles Squeeze bottles like the ones restaurants often use for ketchup and mustard can be great for condiments in your kitchen. If you make your own salad dressing or buy it bulk, you can transfer the dressing to squeeze bottles for easy use. Squeeze bottles also work well for mayonnaise, jelly and many other condiments that usually come in jars. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Jim was a just out of boot camp, and was on his first ship. About two hours out of port, he began to get a bit ill from the motion of the ship. He approached an ensign, also just out of training and on his first cruise. He saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am feeling seasick, and I wondered if I may have permis- sion to go downstairs to the dispensary." The ensign returned his salute and replied, "Sailor, you are in the Navy now. You don't go downstairs, you go below! There is no dispensary on this ship, there is sickbay. Not only that, that is not the floor, it is a deck, that is not the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a pillar, it is a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is a scuttlebutt. If I ever hear you using civilian words instead of Naval jargon, I till throw you out of that little round window over there."
Amazing hand cut paper animals.
A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 10, in 
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The
papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication.
Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in
January 1521. 

1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the
first pneumatic tires. 

1869 Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming
Territory. 

1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the
Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of
Spain. 

1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first
American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping
mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 

1939 The National Football League's attendance exeeded 1
million in a season for the first time. 

1941 Japan invaded the Philippines. 

1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse
were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 

1948 The United Nations General Assembly adopted its
Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 

1950 Dr. Ralph J. Bunche was presented the Nobel Peace
Prize. He was the first African-American to receive the
award. Bunche was awarded the prize for his efforts in
mediation between Israel and neighboring Arab states. 

1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with
an investment of $7,600. 

1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in
the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on
a National Airlines Boeing 707. 

1964 In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received
the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive
the award. 

1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118
countries in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S.
were excluded. 

1983 Raul Alfonsin was inaugurated as Argentina's first
civilian president after nearly eight years of military
rule. 

1984 South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel
Peace Prize. 

1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant,
a long-acting contraceptive implant. 

1991 The play Revival "The Crucible" opened. 

1992 Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he
called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women.
However, he refused to resign. 

1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the
repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 

1994 Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell,
NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the
Unabomber. 

1994 Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received
the Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission
of healing the Middle East. 

1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital
of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in
the former Yugoslavia. 

1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new
democratic constitution, completing the country's transition
from white-minority rule to black democracy. 

1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new
international space station 250 miles above the Earth's
surface. 

1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional
clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 

1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for
China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was
charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons
lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading
restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts
were dropped. 

2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries,
opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi
reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies
from winning subcontracts. 

2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first
elected female president. 

2017  smiled.


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How safe are CDs for back-upÉ 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 9

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Smart-ass drunk hit-and-run driver does 
doughnuts past deputies. Briefly.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 9 in
1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops
led by Viscount Allenby.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! --- Tom Lehrer (1928 - ) Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. --- Franklin P. Jones Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply... "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. "I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." "What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "We hadn't started eating yet." ------------------- How to intimidate the poor guy, and guarantee that there won't be another invitation! ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Morris went to a job interview. The boss says, "I'll give you 8 dollars an hour starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to 12 dollars an hour. So when would you like to start?" Morris replies, "How 'bout three months from now?" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Scott Rapson, 21, Palmetto, Florida Smart-ass drunk hit-and-run driver does doughnuts past deputies. Briefly. A drunken driver was arrested after fleeing the scene of a crash, then doing “doughnuts” in the road past deputies, the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office said. According to the Sheriff’s Office, Scott Rapson, 21, of Palmetto fled the scene of a crash on State Road 62 on Tuesday night following a domestic incident. When deputies arrived in the 31000 block of S.R. 62, they found Rapson driving his vehicle in circles, or “doughnuts,” in the roadway. Rapson raced back and forth past deputies and made it clear he was not going to stop. A pursuit ensued and Rapson hit three sets of stop sticks, which punctured his tires, before the vehicle stopped in a grassy ditch area. Rapson was arrested and no injuries were reported. Rapson had a blood alcohol level of 0.1 percent. A driver is considered intoxicated in Florida with a level of 0.08 percent or higher. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Clint Re: How safe are CDs for back-up Dear Webby, How safe are CD's to use for back-ups? Clint Dear Clint That all depends,... If you can read them on a different machine, and see each folder and all the files, then they are quite reliable. However, if you do not check them, then that is a virtual guarantee that at least part of it won't be readable Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Tyrone was visiting Leroy and discussing Leroy's problems with his wife when Leroy's doorbell rang. Leroy answered the door and was handed a paper which the deliverer said was a subpoena. Leroy showed it to Tyrone and asked him if he knew what it was. Tyrone in his pompous lack of knowledge said, "Dis here is a subpeena." "Wut is a sub-peena?" Leroy asked. "Well," said Tyrone, "dat's law talk. Yo wife is suing you for deevorce. We know dat 'sub' means 'unda' and 'peena' is Latin for 'penis', so -- 'subpeena' means unda the penis which means she done got you by da balls."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Dave for this story: One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us. "Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I thought. Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver Cook Two Casseroles Kitchen Time Saver - Serving Ice Cream at Parties If you are serving cake or pie with ice cream, save time by preparing the ice cream scoops before the party. Just scoop ice cream into large muffin tins with cupcake liners. Then cover them plastic wrap to prevent freezer burn and put them in the freezer until needed. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ This allegedly true story provides an amusing example of lateral thinking and initiative, and staff training (or lack of) at the workplace. While transporting some unfortunate mental patients from one secure place to another, the newly appointed bus driver stopped at a roadside restaurant for natural break. On his return to the bus, all twenty patients were gone. Being a resourceful fellow and fearing the consequences of his negligence, he drove to the next bus stop, where he claimed to be a replacement for the usual service. Allowing twenty people aboard, the driver made straight for his destination, where he warned staff at the gates that the 'patients' were deluded and extremely volatile. The angry 'patients' were duly removed, sedated and incarcerated, and remained in detention for three days, until staff were able to check the records and confirm their true identities. The actual patients were never found.
Wish I owned one of these beautiful jewel encrusted books!
In an interview this week Paris Hilton said she never discussed sex with her parents. She said she was too shy to ask them about it. In fact, everything she knows about sex she learned from watching her own videos. --- Jay Leno ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 9, in 
1625 The Treaty of the Hague was signed by England and the
Netherlands. The agreement was to subsidize Christian IV of
Denmark in his campaign in Germany. 

1793 "The American Minerva" was published for the first
time. It was the first daily newspaper in New York City and
was founded by Noah Webster. 

1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light
Brigade," was published in England. 

1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company.


1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-
bearing roller skate. 

1892 In London, "Widowers' Houses," George Bernard Shaw's
first play, opened at the Royalty Theater. 

1907 Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the
Wilmington, DE, post office. 

1926 The United States Golf Association legalized the use of
steel-shafted golf clubs. 

1914 The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire. 

1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops
led by Viscount Allenby. 

1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first
major offensive in North Africa. 

1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM
radio advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR
in New York City. 

1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 

1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained
his world middleweight boxing title. 

1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other
men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 

1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known
as "Univac 1107." 

1960 The first episode of "Coronation Street" was screened
on ITV. 

1962 "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world
premiere in London. 

1965 Nikolai V. Podgorny replaced Anastas I. Mikoyan as
president of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet. 

1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion
seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from
having to default. 

1978 The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League
(WBL) was played between the Chicago Hustle and the
Milwaukee Does. 

1983 NATO foreign ministers called on the Soviet Union to
join in a "comprehensive political dialogue" to ease
tensions in the world. 

1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members
received sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty
war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 

1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising)
against Israeli occupation. 

1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the
Jabliya refugee camp. 

1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential
election in the country's history. 

1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's
first free elections in 50 years. 

1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iran
began arriving in the U.S. 

1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a
single currency in 1999. 

1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced
their separation. 

1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of
lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair.
U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 

1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee
delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore
Hope'. 

1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman
II missile silos that were marked for elimination under an
arms control treaty. 

1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed
repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 

1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists
produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3
million watts. 

1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the
British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 

1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal
allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the UN
trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990. 

1999 The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian
diplomat who had been caught gathering information with an
eavesdropping device at the U.S. State Department. 

2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after
losing $4 billion in the previous two years. It was the
sixth largest bankruptcy filing. 

2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two
300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch
etchings, a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's
mother, were valued around $518,000. 

2017  smiled.


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Shaky tripod 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
DUI driver danced on car, fled on kid's scooter,
got caught anyway.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 8 in
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. His theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was
free of original sin from the moment she was conceived.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Crime does not pay ... as well as politics. --- Alfred E. Newman The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. --- Art Spander ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As a distinguished matron approached the church entrance, a little boy stepped aside and held the door for her. "What a polite little doorman," she said as she walked through. "Is there a tip involved?" "Oh, no," answered the young man. "My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Helen noticed her husband looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. "What would you like Marty?" she asked. "I'm looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish." He replied. "Marty, you like meat and potatoes. You won't like that dish." Helen said. "What do you know," answered Marty, "I'm getting it." "Marty, I'm telling' you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won't like it!" Helen exclaimed. "I'm getting it and that is the last word!" says Marty. A short while later the meals arrive at the table. Marty looks down and his dish and says to Helen, "Where are my eggs?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Mrs. McDougal was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?" "Two for a quarter," answered the vendor. "How much is just one?" she asked. "Fifteen cents," answered the vendor. "Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. McDougal. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sabra Bewley, 27, Sparks, Nevada DUI driver danced on car, fled on kid's scooter, got caught anyway. Police say a Nevada woman was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after she drove down a highway the wrong way, danced atop her SUV and attempted to flee from officers on a kid's scooter. Police in the city of Sparks answered a call Saturday for a wrong-way driver and found 27-year-old Sabra Bewley's Jeep Cherokee some 20 yards up a hill off a highway. Officers said Bewley was acting erratically and dancing on top of the Cherokee before attempting to get away on a kid's scooter. Police detained Bewley and took her to a hospital before she was booked into the Washoe County jail. She was arrested on suspicion of possession of a controlled substance, trafficking MDMA, destruction of property and resisting arrest. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Yara Re: Shaky tripod Dear Webby, I have to use a tripod to take pictures at work for maintenance planning. Flash is useless when distance is involved and the lighting requires long exposures. Combined with slightly vibrating floors and a shaky, well worn tripod, the pictures turn out crappy. Is there a fix fo that? Yara Dear Yara A modern camera with digital anti-shake technology takes care of that without any tripod at all. However, if that is not in the budget, use big gobs of two component rubber, like they use for patching conveyor belts, or lots of half chewed chewing gum, and attach tennis balls to the feet of the tripod. Dont poke holes into the balls! Attach the legs to the outside of not punctured balls! Then use a piece of coathanger wire to hang a metal weight off the wing-bolt or star wheel that is used to attach the camera. Do NOT use stretchable string or soft weights. Only a solid metal-to-metal connection lets you take advantage of the inertia of the mass in the weight, and forces the tennis balls to absorb any vibration. If you used a bungee cord and a sand bag, the sandbag would be perfectly still, but the camera would still vibrate. A hanging weight is not perfect, but it will cause a remarkable improvement. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A woman was walking along pushing her newborn baby in the carriage when an old friend approached her. The friend leaned over, peering into the carriage said, "What a beautiful baby boy, and he looks JUST like his father." "I know", replied the woman, "I just wish he looked more like my husband!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Reading on Vacation "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver - Cook Two Casseroles When making a casserole, double the ingredients and make two. Cook one and store the other in the freezer. Cover the casserole in plastic wrap and then aluminum foil before freezing. Use a marker to write the date on the foil. You can re-use the foil to cover the casserole when cooking it. Casseroles can be frozen for 3 months. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful young lady and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties. "Oh, I have a 3.9, so I'm much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals," she said. "What's your G.P.A.?" Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 27 in the city and 38 on the highway."
I could stay in this tree house room for a while, it's lovely.
An American tourist in London decided to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wandered around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness. After awhile, he found himself in a very high class neighborhood..... big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. He really, really had to go, after all those pints of Guinnesss. He found a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his problem. As he was unzipping, he was tapped on the shoulder by a London bobbie, who said, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the Bobbie..."Just follow me". He led him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate which he opened. "In there," pointed the Bobbie. "Whiz away,... anywhere you want." The fellow entered and found himself in the most beautiful garden he had ever seen -- manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he had the cop's blessing, he zipped down and unburdened himself and was greatly relieved. As he went back through the gate, he said to the bobbie, "That was really decent of you .... is that "British Hospitality?". "No" replied the Bobbie, with a satisfied smile on his face, "that is the French Embassy." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 8, in 
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American
Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to
Pennsylvania. 

1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. His theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was
free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 

1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for
the Reconstruction of the South. 

1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and
became the first world heavyweight champion. 

1886 At a convention of union leaders in Columbus, OH, the
American Federation of Labor was founded. 

1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared
war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese
attacked Pearl Harbor. Canada declared war on Japan a day
earlier. 

1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the
Chinese mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure. 

1952 On the show "I Love Lucy," a pregnancy was acknowledged
in a TV show for the first time. 

1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the United
States. 

1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began
striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The
strike lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963. 

1980 Zimbabwe's manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found
guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under
a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism.


1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons
held the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow
it up with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours
later he was shot to death by police. 

1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine
publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry
Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was
awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 

1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations'
arsenals of intermediate-range nuclear missiles. 

1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians
in the Israeli-occupied territories began. 

1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to
surrender their control over the government and accept a
minority role in a coalition Cabinet. 

1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet
national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance
to be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The
act was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as
unconstitutional. 

1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S.
troops landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation
Restore Hope. (Due to the time difference, it was December 9
in Somalia.) 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North
American Free Trade Agreement. 

1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers,
but continued to detain about 300 others. 

1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the
O.J. Simpson murder trial. 

1997 The second largest bank was created with the
announcement that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank
Corporation would merge. The combined assets were more than
$590 billion. 

1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime
minister of New Zealand. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not
search a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine
traffic violation.

1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the
public. The file contained over 1,300 pages. 

1998 Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi's first of eight
babies was born. The other seven were delivered 12 days
later. 

1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data
networking business for $5 billion cash. 

1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was
played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 

1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther
King Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy,
not a lone assassin. 

1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an
economic and political confederation. 

2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that
he planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as
a player at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-
player in U.S. pro sports. 

2017  smiled.


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Adding an external drive 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 7

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Inmate with skull-face tattoo escaped 
California work crew
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 7 in
1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The
Electrolux Servel Corporation. Many of them still work
today! Their only moving part is the door.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. --- Paul Beatty ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. "Was the deceased," asked the attorney, "In the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said the Irishman. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone. " _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From Beat Working as a cargo handler for a major package delivery company, I came across an express envelope with shipping instructions that puzzled me, particularly the line describing the contents. I finally realized the parcel contained some kind of manual and was addressed to a church. But at first I thought I was processing one of our company's most momentous pieces of freight. The description read, "Instructions for the Assembly of God." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Bill for this story: Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get, because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him. "I don't have a tape measure." "You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long." "Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Corey Hughes, 27 Stockton, California Inmate with skull-face tattoo escaped California work crew California authorities launched a dragnet Monday for an inmate with a distinctive skull-face tattoo who vanished from a work crew. Corey Hughes, 27, was reported missing about 1:30 p.m. Monday and was last seen on Interstate 5, the San Joaquin County Sheriff’s office said. His mugshot showed he had a skull tattoo on his face. Hughes was serving a sentence for a weapons charge and was being housed in the Honor Farm. He was expected to be released next February. The Honor Farm, located south of Stockton, is a minimum- security facility that houses pretrial or sentence inmates that are usually low-risk and classified as non-violent, KCBS reported. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Portable Hard Drive Dear Webby, How difficult is it to connect a portable hard drive to a computer? And how do you do it? Fran Dear Fran Not difficult at all. You plug it into a USB port, Windows recognizes it as a new device the first time you do it. If necessary Windows offers to install a driver for it. After that, it simply shows as an additional hard drive. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Grampa's Wisdom - Don't name a pig you plan to eat - Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong. - Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. - Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. - Mortgaging a future crop is saddling a wobbly colt. - A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor. - Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked. - Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. - Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled. - Meanness don't happen overnight. - To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses. - Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful. - Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. - Don't sell your mule to buy a plow. - Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat. - You can't unsay a cruel thing. - Don't corner something meaner than you. - Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds. - It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. - Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug. - Every path has some puddles. - When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - The best sermons are lived, not preached. - Most of the stuff people worry about happening, don't. - Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and was watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at the fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer and said to the surprised young man, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver - Juice Concentrate Use a potato masher to break up frozen juice concentrate. It will dissolve much faster when broken up. You can also put the juice concentrate along with the required water into a blender to quickly mix it together. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful young lady and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties. "Oh, I have a 3.9, so I'm much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals," she said. "What's your G.P.A.?" Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 27 in the city and 38 on the highway."
Where to hide from zombies..
Daffinitions: Some wacky definitions. SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink. CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver. OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings for half an hour. BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers. TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority have no idea what's happened. SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut. TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 7, in 
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of
France. 

1732 The original Covent Garden Theatre Royal (now the Royal
Opera House) was opened. 

1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S.
constitution becoming the first of the United States. 

1889 The first of 554 performances of "The Gondoliers" took
place. 

1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the
150-yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5
seconds. He went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 

1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The
Electrolux Servel Corporation. Many of them still work
today! Their only moving part is the door.

1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu
was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack
resulted in Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day
later by the U.S. also entering into World War II. 

1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119
people. It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The
hotel founder, W. Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the
fire. 

1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British
Petroleum's assets. 

1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the
last U.S. moon mission. 

1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand
E. Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an
assailant. The man was then shot and killed by her
bodyguards. 

1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months
in exile. 

1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of
Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray
by the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane
crash. 

1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the
first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a
prison in Huntsville, TX. 

1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with
an Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for
takeoff. The collision resulted in the death of all 42
people aboard the DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 

1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American
soil for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a
Washington summit with U.S. President Reagan. 

1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a
fellow passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific
Southwest Airlines jetliner. 

1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major
earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The
quake measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 

1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the
reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a
million. 

1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with
the plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 

1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion
law which required women to get counseling and then wait 24
hours before terminating their pregnancies. 

1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a
gunman opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter
train. 

1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S.
government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests
in secret at its Nevada test site. 

1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S.
government study the impact of drug legalization. 

1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into
Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the
mothership before it was eaten or otherwise destroyed. 

1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-
ever shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 

1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by
fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 

1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over
1996 campaign financing. 

1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in
the 1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray
O'Hair. 

2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were
stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of
the Sea st Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the
Reformed Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were
convicted for the crime and were sentenced to at least four
years in prison each. 

2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movie theaters were
bombed within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people
were killed and over 200 were injured. 

2017  smiled.


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How to get rid of system messages balloons 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 6

In Austria, where I grew up, December 6 was Saint Nicholas
day. On the eve of that day, Santas, accompanied by devils,
roamed the towns and villages. They visited houses, where
they had been booked, picked up a pillow bag outside the
door and "The List". The devil, often with a leg chained and
the chain held by Saint Nicholas, shouldered the bag, and
Saint Nicholas stuck "The List" into his book.

Then the devil started howling and screaming and pounding on
the door and dancing around.

Once they were let inside, Saint Nicholas slapped the devil
and made him stand still and be quiet.
Then he opened his book, slowly and dramatically, read a
name, and the sins of that kid.

In some houses, Mom had put dad onto the list too!

After the sins had been read, with much glaring by Saint
Nicholas, and much impatient jerking on the chain by the
devil and his willow switches whip,
Saint Nicholas got to the good part, where he praised each
kid for the few good things they had done that year.

Then he reached into the pillow bag and hauled out a smaller
bag for each kid.
That usually had a small orange, which was a VERY rare treat
in post war Austria, a few postage stamp size chocolates,
and home made gingerbread.

While the kids breathlessly oohed and aahed over their haul,
Santa and the devil quietly exited, got their payment and a
shot of moonshine against the cold outside, and vanished in
the snow flurries outside.

In those days it was quite common that when Santas and
devils met other teams, a ferocious battle ensued, often
leaving all participants bloodied. Those chains were
dangerous!

Good old days!

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Escort jailed for lying that she’d been raped 
by detective, destroying his life
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 6 in
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state
education system. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A man's silence is wonderful to listen to. --- Thomas Hardy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A priest and a minister walked into a bar. After sitting down, ordering, and some chit chat the priest said, "Have you noticed there are no women in this bar?" He then realised the truth, "I think we're in a gay bar!" A man approached and tried to flirt with the priest. The priest was dumbfounded, and didn't know what to do. The minister leaned over and whispered something in the man's ear. The man nodded and walked off. The relieved priest said, "Thanks. What did you tell him?" The minister replied, "I just told him we're on our honeymoon." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "I should warn you. . .you may not want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "Well, I speak from personal experience," the expert explained. "For years, I watched my wife's routine at breakfast. She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. "So finally one day I made a suggestion: 'Hon,' I said, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The voice from the back persisted, "And didn't that save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read. So, when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks just, "XX". He started his own business, which soon prospered. He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. "Mr. Schwartz, I wanted to ask you about this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it. All these years, you've been signing your checks, 'XX'; this one is signed with three XXX's..." Mr. Schwartz answered, "Since I've become so rich, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Halina Khan, 40, Escort, Salford, Greater Manchester England Escort jailed for lying that she’d been raped by detective, destroying his life Escort Halina Khan has been jailed for two years and three months for lying that she’d been raped by a detective Halina Khan lied that she had been sexually assaulted by the Leicestershire police officer despite never having met him. He was subjected to a humiliating and unnecessary investigation that went on for five weeks before the 40- year-old’s web of lies collapsed around her. Khan has now been jailed for two years and three months after admitting to trying to pervert the course of justice. Her victim was at home with his wife and son when his colleagues turned up at his home to say there had been a complaint made against him. He then had to give samples for analysis and was interviewed by police officers outside his police area. What followed caused an immense strain on his marriage and he ended up taking six months off work with depression and anxiety. He said he was ‘completely stunned’ by the allegations and said that his world ‘fell apart’. The victim has now returned to work but he says it has affected his relationship with his employers. He said: ‘I can’t explain why it affected me as it did. If I hadn’t been able to prove my innocence, I’d have lost my liberty.’ Khan, from Salford, Greater Manchester, accused the detective during a police investigation into an alleged car theft. She said that her ex had taken her vehicle from the Regency Hotel in Leicester. But when police arrived she changed her story saying that she was an escort and a client had taken the car. She pointed to a red mark on the floor, implying that the person had been hurt. As a result Khan was arrested on suspicion of causing injury. She threw racist abuse at one of the police officers and shouted that she had been raped by the detective the previous night at the hotel. She used his name, despite never having met him, because he had previously been involved in an investigation into her second ex-husband in 2011. Khan later said at the police station: ‘I made it up, there, I made it up.’ However she refused to make a statement or sign an officer’s notebook confirming that her claim was true so the force had no alternative but to investigate her claim. She changed her story again, denying that she had made up a rape allegation, adding that she was being sarcastic. Judge Mrs Justice Cheema-Grubb described it as ‘a wicked crime’ which had serious consequences for the victim and his family. She added that false claims like this affect public confidence. She said: ‘I’m told you’re remorseful, although there’s no evidence of that other than your guilty pleas.’ She added: ‘Rape is a profoundly hideous crime which all should find repulsive.’ The court heard that Khan had two previous convictions for incidents of racially abusing police officers. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: George Re: Cartoon Balloons Dear Webby, My son has a problem with Sticky Keys! What is the best way to get rid of Sticky Keys? And lock them out? Also, I keep getting Cartoon Balloons telling me stuff that I really don't care about! They pop-up whenever I reboot or even just shutting the laptop and reopening it! How do I get them to stop? George Dear George Hitting the SHIFT key five times turns the Sticky-Keys off or on. The system messages that pop up to tell you when you connect or fall off the net or when a new device like a camera is plugged in, or whatever, are usually quite handy. However, if you do need to turn them off, Microsoft explains how to do it on this page: https://www.sevenforums.com/tutorials/11442-notifications- enable-disable-message-balloons.html It`s easy, just a bit tedious. Have FUN! DearWebby
A few years ago, a dietitian addressed a large audience in Chicago and said, "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Junk food can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Ida One evening I was driving my six-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was little traffic and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour. My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, "I have a question." "What do you want to know?" "Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are you ever the idiot?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Food Fixes - Crumbly Brownies? If your brownies are having a hard time holding together or you have a healthy amount of crumbs leftover in the pan, save them to use as an ice cream toping. The crumbs also make a tasty layer in an ice cream cake. Put them in the freezer until you are ready to use them. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A University of Alabama football player was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The UA student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"
These are America’s 10 most dangerous highways, and I've been on two or three of them!
A friend of mine was visiting a college, which had those security call boxes every few hundred feet. If you were wandering around the campus at night and felt uneasy about somebody following you, for instance, you could hit the button and have a security officer investigate immediately. On one of these phones hung a sign that said, "Out of Order." Underneath it someone had scrawled, "Reload and keep running." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 6, in 
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state
education system. 

1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was
ratified. The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 

1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a
recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 

1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was
completed by Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 

1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first
and only president of the Confederate States of America. 

1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's
worst mine disaster. 

1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships
collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 

1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 

1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self-
governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was
signed. 

1923 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge became the first
president to give a presidential address that was broadcast
on radio. 

1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on
bachelors. 

1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by
U.S. President Truman. 

1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International
Brotherhood of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in
1987. 

1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into
orbit failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at
Cape Canaveral, FL. 

1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of
the United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned.


1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb
exploded in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish
National Liberation Army was responsible for planting the
bomb. 

1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing
six Israelis and wounding 44. 

1985 Congressional negotiators reached an agreement on a
deficit-cutting proposal that later became the Gramm-Rudman-
Hollings law. 

1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred
when a man gunned down 14 women at the University of
Montreal's school of engineering. The man then killed
himself. 

1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany. 

1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000
foreign hostages. 

1990 U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle was enshrined in the
Little League Museum's Hall of Excellence. 

1992 Germany's primary political parties agreed to tighten
postwar asylum laws. 

1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a
mosque. The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting
resulted in at least 2,000 people being killed. 

1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20
years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children
in the 1960s. 

1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due
to investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one
of the richest in the U.S. and became the largest
municipality to file for bankruptcy. 

1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a
residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff.
70 people were killed. 

1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was
elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt
against the government six years earlier. 

1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected
the first two building blocks of the international space
station in the shuttle cargo bay. 

2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation
and 480 hours of community service stemming from her
conviction for shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was
also ordered to pay $10,000 in fines and restitution. 

2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7
million memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large
oval fountain was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde
Park.
2017  smiled.


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Has PayPal gone bad? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 5

Thank you, Ken!


Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
$340,000 Ferrari left to be serviced in Florida. 
It got stolen and trashed instead.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 5 in
1791 Composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart died in Vienna, Austria, at the age of 35. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. --- George Eliot (1819 - 1880) "My father says, 'Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family.' I said, 'Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?'" ---Adam Sandler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying. The mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Aw, Nowhere. Just scaring the heck out of college students!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to- back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?". The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first". ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Anni and Wendy rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. On this particular day they caught over 50 fish. Anni turned to Wendy said, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here tomorrow." The next day when they were driving to rent the boat, Anni said, "You did you mark the spot, right?" Wendy replied, "Yeah, I painted a big X on the bottom of the boat." Anni said, "You fool! What if we don't get that same boat today?" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Israel Perez Rangel, 38, Newport Beach, Floriduh $340,000 Ferrari left to be serviced. It got stolen and wrecked instead. Eadweard York wasn’t exactly happy with the customer service at Ferrari & Maserati of Newport Beach when he went to pick up his girlfriend’s car last month. The car – a $340,000 Ferrari 458 Spider – was missing. It had actually been stolen. Security footage showed a man wearing a Ferrari jacket walking around the service center, looking in a few car windows before driving off in the Ferrari. A worker had left the key on the passenger seat, according to the Los Angeles Times. It was 27 hours before anyone noticed the car was missing. Two weeks later, the car was found at a gas station in Santa Ana. The man driving the car – identified as Israel Perez Rangel – was begging for gas money and ran from police, according to the Times. Posting on Instagram, York said the car had been driven 1,400 miles over the 14 days. He also posted pictures and a list of damages that included: a broken paddle shifter, destroyed gear box and cracked fins. The dashboard was chopped up and all the rubber had been burned off the tires, he wrote. The thief left drug remnants and had puked in the car. In all, the damages were estimated at $50,000. York’s girlfriend, Susan Friedman, purchased the car last year and planned to give the car to her son as a family heirloom, NBC 4 said. She received a check from the insurance company for the depreciated value of the vehicle. The service center did offer to try to find a similar used car “at their cost,” York wrote in a second post on Instragram that was dismissive of the offer. Each of the cars is a “one-off,” he said. But Friedman has already used the insurance money for a new car, according to the Times. She now has a 2018 Lamborghini Huracán. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jennie Re: Has PayPal gone bad? Dear Webby, Has PayPal gone bad? I received a notice about an order, that was to be shipped to somebody else, but that I supposedly agreed to pay for, and to dispute it to go to their site. And they sent it to one of my email addresses that does not have a paypal account! So far I have not gone to dispute it, not before checking with you. Jennie Dear Jennie PayPal is still good and secure. What you got was a spoof from some crook, who is trying to con you into handing out your password. Just forward that mail to spoof@paypal.com, or trash it. Real mail from the real PayPal always tells you to never click on any apparent link, but to close all browser windows, open a fresh one and type http://paypal.com into the address bar. The only exceptions to that are PayPal invoice buttons on sites that you trust and normally deal with. Have FUN! DearWebby
Classic: New medications approved by the FDA: St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. Menicillin: Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?" Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-One-all: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura JackAsspirin: Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. Anti-talksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. Ragamet: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. NOTICE: Always consult your family physician before taking new medication.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Think You Know Everything? 1) Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. 2) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. 3) "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". 4) Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. 5) The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. 6) The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). 7) There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. 8) There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." 9) TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. 10) All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill 11) A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. 12) A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. 13) A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. 14) A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. 15) A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Kitty Out of Your Christmas Tree By Donna [436 Posts, 413 Comments] I have been dealing with my year old kitty climbing into and knocking over my Christmas tree until I came up with this idea! I blew up balloons and added them to the tree! She jumped in and accidentally popped one causing her to jump off immediately! It stopped her from jumping into it again, so now I can finish decorating it, but I think I will still leave some in the tree, just in case. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician. "Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked. "Yes," the girl replied. "Did it hurt?" "No." "Really? Which bone did you break?" "My sister's arm."
The world's most expensive dollhouse castle.
A young lady was describing to her grandfather her experience at the theater the preceding evening. "Why, I was really shocked," the young girl said. "Everybody in the place was making out." "Making out? What in the world is that?" her grandpa asked. "It's the same thing you called necking, Grandpa." "Maybe so," Grandpa replied. "But now I call it reminiscing." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 5, in 
1791 COMPOSER WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART DIED IN VIENNA,
AUSTRIA, AT THE AGE OF 35. 

1965 THE BEATLES PLAYED IN THEIR HOMETOWN OF LIVERPOOL FOR
THE LAST TIME. 

1980 JOHN LENNON GAVE HIS LAST INTERVIEW. IT WAS WITH
JONATHAN COTT OF ROLLING STONE. 

1997 CARL EDWARD HUNTER, MANAGER OF RAY CHARLES, WAS
ARRESTED IN JAPAN ON SUSPICION OF MARIJUANA POSSESSION. 

2011 THE AMY WINEHOUSE ALBUM "LIONESS: HIDDEN TREASURES" WAS
RELEASED IN THE U.K. IT WAS A POSTHUMOUS COMPILATION ALBUM
THAT FEATURED UNRELEASED SONGS AND DEMOS. 

2017  smiled.


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Fuzzy old pictures 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 4

Thank you, Frank!!!
Thank you, Leonard!!


If you did not yet take a minute to stare at the
Supermoon, it is not too late. The moon is still very
close and big tonight.

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Maryland man arrested for trying to 
kill woman with car
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 4 in
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. --- Marilyn Manson (1969 - ) Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining? --- George Wallace ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?" "Oh,"replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A friend is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Caution! This story from Martin contains some words in Australian, and might not be suitable for reading from the church pulpit. This Chinese man moved into his new home in Australia. His Aussie neighbor, being the nice Aussie bloke that he was, decided to make him feel welcome. He went next door to wish him welcome. He was shocked to see the Chinese man in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be a Chinese custom" he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home. The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Chinese man When he looked through his window, he saw the Chinese man urinate into a cup and drink it. "Must be a Chinese custom" he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till tomorrow, he went on with other stuff. The third day, he was determined he had to welcome the Chinese man. At his gate, he saw the Chinese man with his ear pressed against a cow's big fat butt. He became angry and went up to the Chinese man. "I'm sorry sir, I want to wish you a welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Chinese customs!" He yelled in the Chinese man's face. The Chinese man looked confused and answered. "Solly sir, I think you awe mistaken. These awe actually Austwalian customs. I was told, to become an Austwalian, you have to chase chicks, drink piss, and lissen to boohll-sheet." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andre Thomas Crew, 27, Waldorf, Maryland Maryland man arrested for trying to kill woman with car A man was arrested after her tried to run over a woman with his car on Wednesday night, according to a statement issued by Maryland State Police. Andre Thomas Crew, 27, sideswiped the woman’s car on northbound Route 301 at Mattawoman Drive in Waldorf, police said. The victim got out of her car and tried to take pictures of Crew’s vehicle’s tags, investigators said. Crew then hit the gas, attempting to pin the woman in between both vehicles, police said. The victim jumped onto Crew’s hood to avoid being crushed. Crew accelerated again as the victim clung to the hood of his car. The victim told investigators Crew purposely tried to strike another vehicle to throw her off the hood. The victim jumped off the hood before Crew hit another vehicle further down the highway at Cedarville Road. Medics arrived and took the woman to MedStar Southern Maryland Hospital nearby. Crew was arrested at the scene. He has been charged with first- and second-degree assault and reckless endangerment. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonny Re: Fuzzy pictures Dear Webby, I have a bunch of older digital pictures that are quite fuzzy by today's standards. How do you make fuzzy pictures clear and sharp? Bonny Dear Bonny As long as it is not motion blur or jitters, you have a very good chance at clarifying the pictures. If you have Paintshop Pro, increase the image size 10-15%, then use the "Clarify" button. Increase the size again and clarify once more. By now the pricture is probably getting rather coarse looking. Now use the Effects tool and select "Edge Preserving Smooth". After that, shrink the picture to original size. It should be quite acceptable now. This trick works pretty well on original pictures, but nothing works, if a picture has been saved a few times with a high JPG compression. Always work in PSP format, or at least PNG or TIFF, until all work is completed. Then save in that format first before doing a final save in JPG format. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Bob for this story: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The teacher brought a Venus de Milo statue in class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert." "The fine finish," says Robert. "Very good. And you, Peter?" "Her .... boobs!" says Peter. "Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust. "And you, Johnny?" "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Food Fixes - Lumpy Sugar? The common cause of lumpy sugar is humidity. So it's always better to store sugar in a cool dry place in an airtight container. If you have lumpy sugar, place it in the refrigerator for 24 hours. If you still have lumps after that you can toss it in a food processor, but not for too long, or it will become powdered sugar. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack. The second biologist gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the world are you doing?" He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can't outrun a full-grown grizzly bear." The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!" ----------- Must have been a black bear. Adult grizzlies don`t climb trees. They pull or push them over.
An interesting site about Bird Life International.
The whole neighborhood shook from the ear splitting explosion in a nearby Pharmacy. As 911 was called, shopkeepers ran outside to see what happened, people spotted the pharmacist staggering out of his smoldering building. His white uniform was now scorched black. He looked like Frankenstein. He went up to a shaken and shivering old lady standing nearby. "Lady!" he said, "Would you please ask your doctor to write that prescription again. And this time insist he better PRINT IT!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 4, in 
1791 Britain's Observer newspaper was first published. 

1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 

1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to
attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the
first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office.


1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the
dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. The
program had been created in order to provide jobs during
the Great Depression. WWII provided enough jobs.

1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the
first time during World War II. 

1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis
announced that any club was free to employ black players. 

1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col.
Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 

1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 

1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African
Empire, crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to
have cost more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years
later. 

1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman
mayor when she was named to replace George Moscone, who
had been murdered. 

1979 For the second time, the United Nations Security
Council voted unanimously to urge Iran to free American
hostages that had been taken on November 4. 

1980 The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador
two days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen
were later convicted of the murders. 

1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft
positions in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed
at American reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O.
Goodman Jr. was shot down and captured by Syria. 

1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a
Kuwaiti airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to
land in Tehran. Two American passengers were killed by the
hijackers. 

1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed
their 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 

1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds
of heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military
revolt. 

1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was
holding. 

1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was
released after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon.


1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 

1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American
troops to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 

1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes
formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was
killing an estimated 1,000 people per day. 

1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN
peacekeepers they were holding as insurance against
further NATO airstrikes. 

2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another
motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching
the other motorists face while pulling off the man's
glasses. 

2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI
in an ongoing two year international investigation into
drug trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money
laundering. Some satellite equipment was taken from
Simpson's home and no drugs were found.
2017  smiled.


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Locate de-sorted pictures 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 3

Thank you, Frank!!!

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
20 times deported Mexican convicted of kidnapping and
sexually abusing two Oregon women grins in court,
gets 35 this time.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 3 in
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. 
He was eventually put to death for the 33 charges. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. --- Lewis Mumford (1895 - 1990) An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?" "Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about lifting the car and putting my paper under the front tire of the car." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A father from Eastern Europe is visiting his son in America for the very first time. They are at the local supermarket going up and down the aisles. Dad: "Vas diss, powdered orange juice?" Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says: "Und vas dis, powdered milk?" Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says: "Und give look here. Baby Powder! Vat a country! Dey take da fun outta making everyting!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always scream "Aye!" and furiously blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?" The Cajun mate looked surprised and replied, "You dumbo, ya say you neva heard of... 'an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot'?" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sergio Jose Martinez, 31, Portland, Oregon 20 times deported Mexican convicted of kidnapping and sexually abusing two Oregon women grins in court, gets 35 this time. He has sexually assaulted a women in her home and attacked another in a parking lot. Both were on the same July day, a week after he was released from jail. Martinez pleaded guilty to 10 counts including sodomy and sexual assault Martinez smiled throughout the trial, and as he left, he gave one grim parting shot to his two victims' relatives: 'See all you guys in Hell.' The first attack occurred early on the morning of July 24, when Martinez entered the Northeast Portland home of a 65-year-old woman through a window she had left open to cool the house. Wielding a metal rod, Martinez told the woman to get down on the ground, where he bound and blindfolded her, threatened to murder her, and then sexually assaulted her, KGW reported. He stole the woman's purse and car; she called the police from a neighbor's home, and they located the vehicle and put it under surveillance. While they kept an eye on the car, however, Martinez was stalking his second victim in a parking garage on the corner of Northeast 21st Avenue and Northeast Halsey Street. He approached her carrying a knife and made her get into her car; as he got in after her she attempted to escape, but he was able to grab her and start slamming her head into the ground. The woman called out for help and as passersby approached, Martinez attempted to steal her car, then fled on foot when it failed to start. Police caught him minutes later. Two relatives of one of the victims, and one of the victims herself, spoke during the sentencing phase Friday, in which Martinez often grinned. A brother of one victim told Martinez: 'Sergio, no sentencing is enough. I rather you rot in Hell.' Martinez had been freed from jail in Portland a week before the attacks; he was in there for interfering with police and providing a false birth date. He was released despite a request from US Immigration and Customs Enforcement for the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office to hold him so the agency could take him into custody. It seems that Martiez expected the Oregon Sanctuary State Liberals to bail him out again, however this time he will have to enjoy a few years of free room and board first. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rhonda Re: Locate De-Sorted pictures Dear Webby, Thanks for the flexible and washable keyboard! I had seen it once at a daycare center, but they did not know where they had gotten it from many years ago. My not too bright hubby moved around all of my pictures while I was away on a course. Instead of in twelve neat category sub-folders in one folder, they are now all over the computer, and most I can't even find! He says, at the time his system made more sense to him, but even he can't find most of them. HELP! How do I get them back? Rhonda Dear Rhonda If you donèt have EVERYTHING Search, add another category folder and call it "Unsorted". Click on START, Search, and search for *.jpg, *.gif, *.psp and whatever other type of picture you have. When the search is completed, open a Windows File Explorer and line up your categories folder. Then, back in the Search window, click on one file, hit CTRL A to highlight all, then hold down SHIFT and drag the files to the new "Unsorted" folder. Close Search and any program that does not absolutely have to be running. Now, in the file explorer window, look for the VIEWS icon on top. It's the one with six dots in it and a pull- down arrow beside it. Pull that down and select "Thumbnails". Windows will start making a thumbnail for each picture. If you have thousands of pictures, this will take some time. Best is to not touch anything while it is doing this. Just let it run until that task is completed. Once that is done, click on the folders icon, so that you see the other category folders in the left sidebar. Like most file handling operations, this works best in Classic View mode. You can select that in Tools, Folder Options in the File Explorer top menu. Now you have the thumbnails on the right, and your twelve category folders on the left, and you simply drag each picture into the correct category. This obviously is going to take some time. It will work best if your hubby in the meantime cleans up the kitchen and cooks meals, while you repair the damage. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. There was a moment of silence at the table, during which the little girl was heard to say to her brother, "You see, it *IS* vanishing cream! They dont see us!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Gina for this story: Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Food Fixes - Ripe Fruit? Fruit that is not acceptable for eating whole or in a salad could be great for other purposes. Ripe fruit makes a delicious ingredient in smoothies and many baking recipes. If you don't have time use the fruit, just freeze it for later use. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Some recipes, like Banana Bread, even call for over-ripe bananas. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for this classic: Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one, the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite," The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
Construction fails!
Dear Webby, just wanted to say thank you for your incredible newsletter. It's the best thing out there. I love the jokes, kudos, pictures and boneheads. I can't wait to get to the bottom to find the bonus link. Thank you for the time and effort you put into amusing us. Great job! Jayne ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 3, in 
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was
eventually put to death for the 33 charges. 

1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly
coeducational school of higher education in the United
States. 

1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire
Insurance Company issued the first fire insurance policy.

1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at
the Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French
physicist Georges Claude. 

1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20
years of planning and construction. The bridge suffered
partial collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September
11). 

1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 

1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named
Desire" opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 

1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House
Un-American Activities Committee announced that former
Communist spy Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm
of secret documents hidden inside a pumpkin on his
Maryland farm. 

1950 Paul Harvey began his national radio broadcast. 

1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons
headed by Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first
human heart transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky
only lived 18 days after that. 

1968 The rules committee of Major League Baseball (MLB)
announced that in 1969 the pitcher's mound would be
lowered from 15 to 10 inches. This was done in order to
"get more batting action." 

1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of
Jupiter. The first outer-planetary probe had been
launched from Cape Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 

1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two
White House entrances. 

1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed
after a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide
plant. The plant was operated by a Union Carbide
subsidiary. 

1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La
Coruna, Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude
oil. 

1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be
limiting her public appearances because she was tired of
the media's intrusions into her life. 

1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to
a cease-fire in their 18-year war. 

1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to
release hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 

1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was
arrested for his role in a 1979 coup. 

1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were
represented to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and
production of anti-personnel land mines. The United
States, China and Russia did not sign the treaty. 

1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the
International Monetary Fund to bail out its economy. 

1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the
Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the
French Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary
Islands. 

1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-
day meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for
a new round of trade talks. The meeting was met with
fierce protests by various groups causing Billions of $
damage.

1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration
(NASA) lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as
it entered Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned.


2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth successfully after
its first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010.

2017  smiled.


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¸Quiet and washable keyboard 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 2

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
5 boneheads arrested trying to break into home 
while police are inside investigating their earlier
break-in.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, December 2 in
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile.
It was the successor to the Model T. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. --- Mark Twain (1835 1910) If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. --- Lewis Carroll (1832 1898) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Leesa On his way home from work recently, my husband came upon a 'Road Closed' sign. Undeterred, he maneuvered his truck around it and continued on. But he didn't get very far. The pavement ended, giving way to another, larger sign: "What Part of 'Road Closed' Didn't You Understand?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Al Some people REALLY love Christmas. Me, I love Thanksgiving. Last year I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey. Man, you should have seen the people scatter in the meat department! ______________________________________________________ Supermoon! Catch it tonight. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ >From Theresa I was addressing some mail when I noticed that my card file of frequently used addresses was missing. Thinking it must have fallen from my typing table into the wastebasket, I called the office janitor. "I've lost my Rolodex," I told him. "It may have been picked up with the trash. Is there any way you could find it?" He said he would conduct a search. When the janitor informed me he had searched every trash container for my Rolodex, with no luck, I thanked him for his trouble. As I left work that evening, the janitor met me at the door. "Good night," he said smiling apologetically. "Sorry I couldn't find your watch." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by (Clockwise) Penny, Culbreath, Long, Cathcart, Wallace (Source: Mecklenburg County Sheriff's Office) Charlotte, NC 5 boneheads arrested trying to break into home while police are inside investigating their earlier break-in. Five people were arrested Friday night after trying to break into an uptown Charlotte townhouse twice, but the second time police were inside investigating the first break-in. Friday evening, a man reportedly came home to find people inside his townhouse on Garden District Drive, in the middle of a burglary. He was able to back out of his home, without them noticing he was there, and call 911, according to officers. Charlotte-Mecklenburg police arrived while the two were still in the house and arrested them. Police identified the two as 33-year-old Johnny Penny and 24-year-old Javonte Cathcart. Without knowing that police were still inside the townhouse investigating the break-in, three more people returned to try to break into the home about two hours later. Officers said the three tried to run away, but were quickly apprehended. Malik Long, 20, Khalil Wallace, 22, and Jamaka Culbreath, 16, face charges in the second attempted break-in. Penny and Cathcart both face felony breaking and enter and attempted larceny charges. Long also faces felony breaking and entering charges as well as possession of stolen goods charges. Culbreath was charged with possession of stolen goods. Wallace was charged with breaking and entering, possession of stolen goods, larceny of a firearm, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and possession of marijuana. The homeowner was not hurt. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: quiet and washable keyboard Dear Webby, I am a home care nurse and spend a large part of my time "just being there" with terminally ill patients. I know some of them are overly sensitive or just want to complain about something, but the noise from my laptop when I write my reports or whatever, caused a few complaints. Is there a really quiet keyboard that I could use? Janice Dear Janice Yes, there sure is! The flexible Indestructible keyboard is totally quiet, and you can safely disinfect or wash it without worrying about damaging it. They even have a version with a faint luminescent glow, so that you can work in the dark. There will still be the light from the screen, but at least you won't have to turn any lights on to be able to type. Most laptops let you dim the screen, some dim automatically, when you unplug the charger. They are full size 52 cm (20") keyboards, but you can roll them up to fit into a purse, or for cleaning, to fit into even the smallest sink or disinfectant basin. Best place for it is at http://www.grandtec.com/ They are not free, of course: $35, but are virtually indestructible. You can step on them, drive over them with a wheel chair, throw them into a tub, put them into a dishwasher after a patient throws up onto it. You can, of course, use them outside, in the rain, or while in a hot-tub. They are indestructible, unless you shoot a hole through one. I got one many years ago for use outdoors. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying---until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking his pulse."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Bill One night at about 3am my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bath- room. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Photo Christmas Keepsake Ornament I had photo made on transparency film at Kinko's. Then I cut it out in a 3" circle. Rolled it up and inserted into the top of clear glass ball. It flattens out by itself. I added some angel (or glitter) hair, poking it down with a pencil, on each side of the film. Then I replaced the top, added some "snowflakes" the names and date with a white marker. These are our two oldest great grandsons. Have to make another since there are 3 of them now. By Great Granny Vi Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did, sir." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny old world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slap- ped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a miserable klutz, he couldn't do this to save his life!"
Historical photos that have been colored. Enlarge them to get the full benefit.
Murphy's Technology Laws Murphy's Technology Law #1 -- You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Murphy's Technology Law #2 -- Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Murphy's Technology Law #3 -- Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. Murphy's Technology Law #4 -- If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Murphy's Technology Law #5 -- All great discoveries are made by mistake. Murphy's Technology Law #6 -- Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. Murphy's Technology Law #7 -- All's well that ends... period. Murphy's Technology Law #8 -- A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost. Murphy's Technology Law #9 -- The first myth of management is that it exists. Murphy's Technology Law #10 -- A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection. Murphy's Technology Law #11 -- New systems generate new problems. Murphy's Technology Law #12 -- Any given program, when running, is obsolete. Murphy's Technology Law #13 -- A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, December 2, in 
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral
of Notre Dame in Paris. 

1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine
opposing European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 

1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first
razor to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-
edge razor blades. 

1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the
eastern front. 

1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile.
It was the successor to the Model T. 

1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an
airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 

1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was
demonstrated by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the
University of Chicago. 

1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R.
McCarthy for what it called "conduct that tends to bring the
Senate into dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related
to McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected
communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian
society. 

1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally
broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he
was going to lead Cuba to communism. 

1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview
as 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY.
Most of the passengers were reporters and photographers. 

1980 The Central Committee of Poland's Communist Party
announced major Politburo changes. The changes were aimed at
coping with labor unrest. 

1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent
artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney
Clark. He lived 112 days with the device. The operation was
the first of its kind. 

1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free
all-German elections since 1932. 

1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive
earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. The earthquakes did
not occur. 

1992 Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor of
the Maastricht Treaty on European unity. 

1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to
fix the Hubble Space Telescope. 

1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of
allegedly fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal
was made with GM under which the company would spend more
than $51 million on safety and research. 

1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1
billion dollar mission intended to study the sun. 

1997 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of telephone fund-raising
by President Clinton and Vice President Gore. She had
concluded that they had not violated election laws. 

1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100
million to help immunize children in developing countries. 

1999 The British government transferred political power over
the province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland
Executive. 

2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The
filing came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4
billion buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S.
history. 

2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based
life form. 

2017  smiled.


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Softonic infection 







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Fuzzy pictures 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 30

Thank you, Cheryl!

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man tried to break into car, was
arrested by 3 Pasco deputies waiting inside
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 30 in
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an
army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva.
King Charles XII died on this day. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. --- Herman Wouk (1915 - ) Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. --- Lynda Barry ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "The Census Bureau reported that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington, D.C. in population. Of course, there's a huge difference Vegas and Washington. See, in Las Vegas, people gamble with their own money." ---Jay Leno _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My husband and I found a charming bed-and-breakfast nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Though enchanted, I nonetheless had some questions about the accommodations. "Does the room have its own bath?" I asked. Nodding, the proprietor answered, "If no one else comes, it does." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. "All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly what they did. But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she's tired and wants to go to sleep. "Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear. "Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning. You don't!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Titland, 49, New Port Richey, Floriduh Florida man tried to break into car, was arrested by 3 Pasco deputies waiting inside If you're going to break into a vehicle, you typically want to make sure it isn't an unmarked Sheriff's Office vehicle and that there aren't deputies inside that vehicle. That's what happened last Wednesday in Pasco County. The night before, several home owners caught a man on video as he tried to burglarize seven vehicles on Hawbuck Street in the Trinity Oaks neighborhood. However, all the doors were locked and nothing was stolen. The next day, Stephen Titland, 49, tried to burglarize an unmarked Pasco Sheriff's Office vehicle on Murrow Street in New Port Richey. At the time, the vehicle was occupied by the Strategic Targeted Area Response team, who promptly arrested him. Analysts positively identified him as the same man from the previous night's attempted burglaries. At the time of the arrest, Titland was on felony probation for a burglary/criminal mischief conviction in Pinellas County. Maybe he was homesick for jail? _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Holly Re: Picture clarity Dear Webby, Why are some pictures on the net and in email so fuzzy and others are sharp and clear? is that because of the type of camera used? Holly Dear Holly Usually that has nothing to do with the camera, but with how the camera was used, and especially how the pictures were saved. Some people are on slow servers and have to reduce the size of their files, so that they finish loading before the visitor's attention span runs out. That is done by chosing a high compression ratio. With the JPG files, that are commonly used on the web, the compression is "lossy". When pixels are thrown away, color depth and clarity naturally suffers. "Lossy" means, those pixels are lost, blown away in the wind. You can never get them back. This is made even worse if a picture is edited and saved multiple times. Each time the compression loses more pixels and the picture gets fuzzier and more washed out looking. If the picture is yours, save an original copy in PSP or PNG or PSD format. Those don't lose pixels. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Jean: We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Cynthia A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18": "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheap Pillar Candle By Louise [2 Posts] Pillar candles can be expensive for holiday arrangements or weddings. I discovered a cheaper way to make one. Dollar Tree has battery operated candles that are 3 inches in diameter by approximately 4 inches tall for $1.00 each. Buy two candles and stack them turning the bottom one upside down and the top one wick end up. Attach a piece of coordinating ribbon where the two candles meet taping or gluing the connection and making sure you do not attach too tight as you will need to lift the top candle out in order to turn on the switch under it. You can reverse the candles when the battery is used up in the top one. Add greenery or other decorations as desired. This is safe and reasonably priced! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation." __________________________________________________
Construction fails!
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 30, in 
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an
army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva.
King Charles XII died on this day. 

1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace
articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 

1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to
France. 

1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz
Mexico declared war on France. 

1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and
destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 

1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first
pepper shaker with a screw-on cap. 

1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 

1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its
first commercial exhibition. 

1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire.
The structure had been constructed for the International
Exhibition of 1851. 

1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help.

1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 

1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a
meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock
weighed 8½-pounds. 

1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News"
three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was
the world's first broadcast via videotape. 

1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the
United Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 

1966 The former British colony of Barbados became
independent. 

1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in
Geneva that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in
Europe. 

1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S.
President Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired
national security staffer Oliver North as a "national hero."


1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco
Inc. with a bid of $24.53 billion. 

1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter
the United States in order to address the U.N. General
Assembly in New York City. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill.
The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. 

1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire
Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's
largest financial institution. 

2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed
up with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys
R Us provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 

2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting
"Boenskoerd" ("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for
$730,000. The work had been in a private collection for more
than a century. The Larsson work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By
Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the same auction. 

2017  smiled.
[html]




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 30

Thank you, Cheryl!

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man tried to break into car, was
arrested by 3 Pasco deputies waiting inside
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 30 in
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an
army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva.
King Charles XII died on this day. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. --- Herman Wouk (1915 - ) Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. --- Lynda Barry ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "The Census Bureau reported that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington, D.C. in population. Of course, there's a huge difference Vegas and Washington. See, in Las Vegas, people gamble with their own money." ---Jay Leno _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My husband and I found a charming bed-and-breakfast nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Though enchanted, I nonetheless had some questions about the accommodations. "Does the room have its own bath?" I asked. Nodding, the proprietor answered, "If no one else comes, it does." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. "All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly what they did. But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she's tired and wants to go to sleep. "Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear. "Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning. You don't!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Titland, 49, New Port Richey, Floriduh Florida man tried to break into car, was arrested by 3 Pasco deputies waiting inside If you're going to break into a vehicle, you typically want to make sure it isn't an unmarked Sheriff's Office vehicle and that there aren't deputies inside that vehicle. That's what happened last Wednesday in Pasco County. The night before, several home owners caught a man on video as he tried to burglarize seven vehicles on Hawbuck Street in the Trinity Oaks neighborhood. However, all the doors were locked and nothing was stolen. The next day, Stephen Titland, 49, tried to burglarize an unmarked Pasco Sheriff's Office vehicle on Murrow Street in New Port Richey. At the time, the vehicle was occupied by the Strategic Targeted Area Response team, who promptly arrested him. Analysts positively identified him as the same man from the previous night's attempted burglaries. At the time of the arrest, Titland was on felony probation for a burglary/criminal mischief conviction in Pinellas County. Maybe he was homesick for jail? _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Holly Re: Picture clarity Dear Webby, Why are some pictures on the net and in email so fuzzy and others are sharp and clear? is that because of the type of camera used? Holly Dear Holly Usually that has nothing to do with the camera, but with how the camera was used, and especially how the pictures were saved. Some people are on slow servers and have to reduce the size of their files, so that they finish loading before the visitor's attention span runs out. That is done by chosing a high compression ratio. With the JPG files, that are commonly used on the web, the compression is "lossy". When pixels are thrown away, color depth and clarity naturally suffers. "Lossy" means, those pixels are lost, blown away in the wind. You can never get them back. This is made even worse if a picture is edited and saved multiple times. Each time the compression loses more pixels and the picture gets fuzzier and more washed out looking. If the picture is yours, save an original copy in PSP or PNG or PSD format. Those don't lose pixels. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Jean: We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Cynthia A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18": "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheap Pillar Candle By Louise [2 Posts] Pillar candles can be expensive for holiday arrangements or weddings. I discovered a cheaper way to make one. Dollar Tree has battery operated candles that are 3 inches in diameter by approximately 4 inches tall for $1.00 each. Buy two candles and stack them turning the bottom one upside down and the top one wick end up. Attach a piece of coordinating ribbon where the two candles meet taping or gluing the connection and making sure you do not attach too tight as you will need to lift the top candle out in order to turn on the switch under it. You can reverse the candles when the battery is used up in the top one. Add greenery or other decorations as desired. This is safe and reasonably priced! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation." __________________________________________________
Construction fails!
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 30, in 
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an
army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva.
King Charles XII died on this day. 

1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace
articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 

1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to
France. 

1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz
Mexico declared war on France. 

1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and
destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 

1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first
pepper shaker with a screw-on cap. 

1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 

1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its
first commercial exhibition. 

1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire.
The structure had been constructed for the International
Exhibition of 1851. 

1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help.

1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 

1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a
meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock
weighed 8½-pounds. 

1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News"
three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was
the world's first broadcast via videotape. 

1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the
United Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 

1966 The former British colony of Barbados became
independent. 

1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in
Geneva that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in
Europe. 

1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S.
President Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired
national security staffer Oliver North as a "national hero."


1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco
Inc. with a bid of $24.53 billion. 

1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter
the United States in order to address the U.N. General
Assembly in New York City. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill.
The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. 

1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire
Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's
largest financial institution. 

2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed
up with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys
R Us provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 

2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting
"Boenskoerd" ("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for
$730,000. The work had been in a private collection for more
than a century. The Larsson work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By
Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the same auction. 

2017  smiled.

</font></pre>[/html]

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Laplink PC Mover 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 29

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Carjacker got tenderized
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 29 in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a
militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400
peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered
and had been given permission to camp. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?" The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers BOTH events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. "How are you feeling?" the visitor asked. "Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!" "What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked. "You look like you're in good health. They are taking care of you, aren't they?" "Yes, they are taking very good care of me." "Are you in any pain?" she asked. "No, I have never had a pain in my life." "Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again. The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. "Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where I went." ______________________________________________________ BIG Duck! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there." "No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet soon. That stuff is quite poisonous." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Angelo Martinez, 21, Albuquerque, N.M. NM car jacker got tenderized, but not enough Every single day, numerous thugs carjack expensive vehicles and ride away without ever being caught—once they’re gone, it’s hard to track them down. Fortunately however, one saggy-pants thug just got exactly what he deserved after trying to steal a vehicle. Angelo Martinez was a lowlife thug who spent his time committing petty crimes, but one day he decided to go for the big leagues—grand theft auto. He saw what looked like a perfect target on the street, with several unarmed individuals sitting inside. Unfortunately for him however, he didn’t realize who they were until it was too late. Anyone who’s ever had their car stolen knows how much of a pain it can be, especially if the thug never gets caught. You can lose thousands and thousands of dollars in a single instant, all because some greedy, worthless scumbag decided to take something that wasn’t his. This wasn’t one of those times. Martinez approached a group of men and asked them for a ride, to which they agreed. Unfortunately they didn’t realize that Martinez planned on stealing their car once he’d gained their trust. Thugs like him take advantage of the kindness of strangers, but as this thug was about to learn, there’s some strangers you don’t mess with. After getting close to the car, Martinez pulled a gun on the men and demanded that they give up the vehicle. One of the men asked if he could take his phone with him as a distraction, and the other two immediately sprung into action—they tackled him, subdued him, and beat his stupid little face into a bloody pulp. Unfortunately for this thug, he didn’t realize that the men he attempted to carjack were three highly talented football players. Out of all the people he could’ve chosen, from old ladies to young and naive teenage girls, he had the bad luck to stumble upon three of the baddest football players in town—and his face shows it. Apparently they did not hit him hard enough. ============================================ He looks different, but the man accused of trying to carjack four Albuquerque football players was arrested again. Albuquerque Police picked up 21-year-old Angelo Martinez on Friday after catching him in a stolen Honda with meth. Martinez will stay behind bars for about a week, until a judge decides whether he will be held without bond. “The state has filed a motion for preventative detention so we will have it transferred over to a district court.” _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: Laplink Ad Dear Webby, How are your eyes? I hope better after the injections. I was reading the newsletter today and I guess because of the question about ads, I noticed the ad for "pcmover". it has a discount on it that expires June 30, 2015. just thought you might like to fix it. All the best from south Georgia, USA Marlene Dear Marlene Eyes are indeed better. You are right, they still got the same ad. I was just linking to their banner. So I bitched at them, and painted a new one myself. Surprisingly, they kept the price the same, even though they did a complete overhaul with the help of Intel to take advantage of the current processors. You can still move from an ancient XP to the newest machine, but the transfer will run even faster now. I have used LapLink since the 80's, long before I ever had a laptop. For a planned move Laplink is indispensable, unless you want to spend a week fussing and cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholic: None. Candles only, but they must be bees wax candles. Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad. Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish. Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change. Amish: What's a light bulb?
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me. The freshmen in my dorm kept my secret. They covered for me by calling my kitten "the Book," since I had so many in my room. One morning I was leaving the dorm with the kitten in a carrier. A student stopped me and asked, "Where are you taking the Book?" I explained that I was taking the kitten to the vet. "She's getting neutered today," I told him. "Hmmm," the student responded, "no sequels." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Gnocchi By attosa Gnocchi ready to boil.I think we all get very excited when we score that 99 cent 5-pound bag of potatoes. But what to do when you're tired of all the garlic mash and baked spuds? Try gnocchi! Little Italian pillows of love. Here is a very easy way to make some of these classy little dumplings. Serve with your favorite pasta sauce, some sage butter, or just Parmesan cheese. Believe me, they are better than the expensive packaged stuff at the shops! Yield: 6 servings Ingredients: 4 baking potatoes 2 beaten eggs 2 cups flour salt Steps: Put unpeeled potatoes in a large pot of water and bring to a boil. Cook for about 30-40 minutes until tender. Drain potatoes thoroughly. While they're still warm, hold them with a kitchen towel and peel their skins off. Discard skins. Pass potatoes through a ricer into a large bowl. If you don't have a ricer, you can also mash with a potato masher or fork. Add the flour and the eggs and pinch of salt. Mix everything by hand until you have a nice big ball of dough. Prepare a work surface by dusting with flour. Divide dough into four balls then turn each ball into a rope 3/4 inch in diameter by gently rolling in floured work space. Cut the tubes of dough into pieces about one inch long. Using the tines of a fork, press against each piece of the dough. This is for the purpose of catching whatever sauce you use. Transfer them to a floured or lined tray. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and drop half the gnocchi in. Cook until they float to the surface, about 2 to 3 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon, draining well. Continue cooking the remaining gnocchi dough in the same manner. Serve with your favorite sauce, butter, cheese, or all of the above. Enjoy! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ When the Bob came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" Bob asked. "I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious." "And?" "At the end of the letter she wrote: PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son." __________________________________________________
The Jealous Wall, Ireland's largest folly.
Teaching junior high school English, Miss Speller emphasized the importance of nice clean margins on student papers. One seventh-grade boy said in his essay that he was sorry to write in the margarine. When she graded his paper, Miss Speller added a little note next to his that said, “Maybe next time you will do butter.” ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 29, in 
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a
militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400
peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered
and had been given permission to camp. 

1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first
Army-Navy football game. The game was played at West Point,
NY. 

1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the
rotary dial. 

1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made
by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 

1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland
prior to a Soviet attack. 

1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic
proclaimed. 

1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that
called for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews.


1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S.
with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth
twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 

1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7
crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes
after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed.
The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 

1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by
Earl Warren to investigate the assassination of President
Kennedy. 

1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced
that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become
president of the World Bank. 

1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican
Army became effective. 

1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company
he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer
language for the Altair. 

1981 Actress Natalie Wood drowned in a boating accident off
Santa Catalina Island, CA, at the age 43. 

1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union
should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. 

1986- Actor Cary Grant died at the age of 82. 

1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115
people aboard. 

1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been
holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center
in Oakdale, LA. 

1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of
criminal defendants are not violated when police
unintentionally fail to preserve potentially vital evidence.

1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended
the party's 40-year monopoly on power. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military
action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and
release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 

1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a
dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 

1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its
airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin
demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 

1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen
Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the
massacre
of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international
war crimes sentence since World War II. 

1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin
and other narcotics. 

2004 The French government announced plans to build the
Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum
was the planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's
reserves. 

2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 

2017  smiled.


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Blocking ads 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 28

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Connecticut robber shot at officer, got arrested
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 28 in
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the
Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American
strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first
European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Fall not in love, therefore; it will stick to your face. --- National Lampoon ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Linda for bringing back this famous classic: A husband and wife are shopping in their local store. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price." That's him laying in Aisle 5. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Also brought back by Linda: The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the smiling bride arriving at the church, the happily laughing bride at the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "it's like halloween, right, but backwards. Mommy put on a nice disguise and had a pretty woman's face painted on top of hers, so that you would not see how scarey she really is. " ______________________________________________________ When the moon kisses the sea _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "this pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" The rest is history.... So, it's Adam's fault, and ever since, according to THE RULES, it's been the man's fault. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jachim Brown, 27, Bridgeport, Connecticut Robber shot at officer, got arrested A Bridgeport officer returned fire after the armed suspect in a clothing store robbery shot at him while running away, police said. Neither the officer nor the suspect were injured in the shooting, police said. Jachim Brown, 27, was arrested and charged with attempted murder of an officer, as well as weapons and robbery charges. Brown is being held in lieu of $1 million, police said. The incident began about 9:35 a.m. at the Eblens store at 586 Pequonnock St. Police said they received a call that said the store was being robbed. Two female employees were the only people inside when Brown entered and held one of them at gunpoint while demanding money, police said. “An alert officer working an outside overtime job nearby immediately spotted the suspect exiting the store wearing a mask,” Lt. Christopher LaMaine, of Bridgport’s police detective bureau, said in a news release. The officer, who was not identified, chased Brown, who turned around and fired at the officer, police said. The officer returned fire, and with the help of other officers captured Brown, LaMaine said. Brown sustained a minor injury “that does not appear to be the result of a gunshot,” LaMaine said. Officers recovered nearly $1,900, the firearm Brown used to shoot at the officer, the mask worn during the robbery, and the shell casing from his gun, police said. During a post- arrest interview, Brown admitted to the robbery and to firing at the officer, LaMaine said. “The Detective Bureau is investigating the potential involvement of others in this case and exploring the possibility of Brown being linked to other similar crimes,” LaMaine said. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Ad Blocking Dear Webby, Thanks for the camera hints on pixel size for emailing. I saved the pic to the pc then cut them down in size & emailed them. The receipants said they came thru really well. I read some where a long time ago that there is a way to stop the ad banners from flashing while surfing a site. Do you know how toi do this? Also I am curious if using instant messenger for chatting w/ family & friends is a way of getting a virus? I do a virus scan twice a week & have one that is on auto protect all the time. Thanks for your wonderful help. Sharon Dear Sharon There are ways to block all ads. The easiest is not to go to sites, that use ads to help pay for their web space. Contrary to popular opinion, web space is not paid for by the Easter Bunny, and the free web space is only free because it is not quite good enough to sell or rent out. When I really like a site, I click on every ad they have. I know they will get a few pennies per 1000 exposures, and don't begrudge them that. The same when I buy something over the net, I try to approach it through an ad on a site that I like. It does not cost me any extra, but it may make the difference between them staying alive or not. If you do the opposite, and block ads, then you are looking for trouble. Many sites consider that as being a hostile parasite, and they redirect your browser away from their good pages. Where they redirect you to, that's anyones guess and depends on how much they dislike parasites. Nobody is getting rich off the ads any more, but they do help with the expenses of running a site. Re Instant Messengers: If you use AOL Instant messenger or MSN messenger or Yahoo messenger, you better have VERY good security up and running, and pray a lot. Especially AIM seems to be a real trouble magnet. On the other end of the spectrum is Skype. It is encrypted and hostile stuff just does not make it through that encryption. We use Skype for tech support and there has never been even the slightest hint of any problem. And it's free! Have FUN! DearWebby

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
From Bill: The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, and a mess of stuff I don't know the names of , then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Drying Shoes Without the Banging By Melissa M. [27 Posts, 112 Comments] I thought of this because I hate that banging sound of athletic shoes slamming around in the dryer. It's pretty simple as the pictures show. You need a long mesh laundry bag. This one is 2-3 feet long. Place the shoes in the middle of the bag and give one twist to the ends of the bag. Set it on the inside of the door and hold the ends tightly while closing the door. Set timer about 30 mins and check for dryness. Having something else in the dryer, whether it's a big towel or other laundry doesn't matter, but the laundry helps the dryer retain heat. An empty dryer will make it take longer for the shoes to dry. You can tie or clip the ends of the bag if you need to keep it centered on the door. Don't twist the bag too much or you'll have a gap in the door, loss of heat, and the bag may sag. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Hanging the boot-bag out on the line still works fine too. Onion bag mesh keeps birds from nesting in your sneakers, though it is funny when they do. You can always hang some old and holy sneakers under the eaves. Small birds love them! Have fUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy to focus more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "But Dad, when Lincoln was your age, he was President of The United States!" __________________________________________________
For as Much as We Know About the World, There Are Still Dark Spots on the Map
Dear Webby When everything changes and goes wrong, you are the only thing I can count on, and you never fail to cheer me up. Thanks for that, Mariana ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 28, in 
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the
Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American
strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first
European to sail the Pacific from the east. 

1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 

1757 English poet, painter and engraver William Blake was
born. Two of his best known works are "Songs of Innocence"
and "Songs of Experience." 

1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female
member of the British Parliament. 

1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the
first public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out,
"Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times
Square. 

1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM.


1929 Ernie Nevers (St. Louis Cardinals) became the first
professional football player to score six touchdowns in a
single game. 

1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed
the Coconut Grove. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime
Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin
met in Tehran to map out strategy about how to destroy
Germany. 

1953 New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a
strike of photoengravers. 

1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous
republic within the French community. 

1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral
would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated
predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in
1973 by a vote of residents. 

1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape
Kennedy on a course set for Mars. 

1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 

1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole
crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 

1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9
Spacelab in its cargo bay. 

1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord
concerning Northern Ireland. 

1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the
Indian Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 

1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York
after escaping her homeland through Hungary. 

1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies
were to be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 

1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant
gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and
injuring 20. 

1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed
to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 

1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill
that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 

2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S.
diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or
"confidential." 

2017  smiled.


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Megapixels 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 27

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Thank you, Doug!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman left 6-year-old in taxi while she robbed bank
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 27 in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor
of the Celsius thermometer which has the temperature of
freezing water at zero and at boiling water at 100 degrees.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I'm still an atheist, thank God. --- Luis Bunuel (1900 - 1983) The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" A whitehaired grannie overheard and spoke up, "Girl, what you are asking for is a television set!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age." ______________________________________________________ Asian Fly Catcher _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Shirley and Bill for this report: You may not know this but many non living things have a gender. Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over- inflated. A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on. A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying! _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Diana Marini, 28, Islip, New York Woman left 6-year-old in taxi while she robbed bank Police say a woman robbed a bank on Long Island while her 6- year-old daughter waited in a taxi. Suffolk County police say 28-year-old Diana Marini entered a Chase bank in Islandia at 1 p.m. Saturday and gave the teller a note demanding cash. They say the teller handed over an undetermined amount of money and Marini fled in a taxi that was waiting for her. Police stopped the taxi and found Marini and her 6-year-old inside. Marini was arrested on charges of robbery and endangering the welfare of a child. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Shanya Re: Megapixels Dear Webby, Dear Webby, How important is the number of Megapixels of a camera? Aren't five of them enough? Shanya Dear Shanya Megapixels are only relevant when comparing cameras of the same maker. The number of megapixels is less important to me than their size and depth. I can take much better pictures with a 2 Megapixel Canon than with a 5 Megapixel HP, and reach much further into the dark. In addition to that, quite often the megapixel numbers have tiny writing saying "equivalent of" behind them. They are not even real counted or computed numbers, but just fake BS from their advertising department. Read comparative reviews, and if you can afford it, go with a good name rather than a silly number. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Matt for bringing back this classinc: HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one......... Bryan invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Bryan's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Bryan's roommate, Stephanie, was. Bryan's mother had long been suspicious of a relationship between Bryan and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mother started to wonder if there was more between Bryan and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bryan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Stephanie came to Bryan saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Bryan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Bryan Several days later, Bryan received a letter from his mother that read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where I am supposed to be going today!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Stains Above Toilet Water Line By mx5 girl [12 Comments] Best Answer As a service plumber for ten years I can offer this. The stains are from minerals in the water, this differs everywhere and depends much on where the supply comes from, aquafers, wells, mountain, spring etc.... Borax is natural, kills mold, removes stains and will not effect your system if it happens to be septic. It is safe, allergy friendly and kills odors as well. give this a try. If it is especially bad let it sit for 5 minutes before scrubbing. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over an unconscious man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes" says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times..... put me down for a five." __________________________________________________
The costume party of the Russian 1903 Winter Ball.
The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help. "Please don't pay any attention to him, pastor. He slept through all of it. He just repeats what he hears others say." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 27, in 
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor
of the Celsius thermometer. 

1779 The College of Pennsylvania became the University of
Pennsylvania. It was the first legally recognized university
in America. 

1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an
automobile through Central Park in New York City. 

1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC.

1934 The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was
killed by FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 

1939 The play "Key Largo," by Maxwell Anderson, opened in
New York. 

1951 Hosea Richardson became the first black horse racing
jockey to be licensed in Florida. 

1963 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson delivered his first
address to a joint session of Congress. 

1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at
the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a
priest. 

1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice
president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 

1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor
Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death
inside City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 

1980 Dave Williams (Chicago Bears) became the first player
in NFL history to return a kick for touchdown in overtime. 

1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca
Airlines Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 

1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish
accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of
British-ruled Northern Ireland. 

1987 French hostages Jean-Louis Normandin and Roger Auque
were set free by their pro-Iranian captors in West Beirut,
Lebanon. 

1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a
Colombian jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off
from Bogota's international airport. Police blamed the
incident on drug traffickers. 

1991 The UN Security Council unanimously adopted a
resolution that led the way for the establishment of a UN
peacekeeping operation in Yugoslavia. 

1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to
overthrow President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time
in ten months. 

2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out
of service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched
on September 20, 1967. 

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 23
Happy Thanksgiving Day in the US

Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my
eyeballs. That means nothing will be sent out for Friday,
Saturday and  Sunday.

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Rodriguez caught trying to steal 
two trains from Phoenix rail yard
the day he was released from jail.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 23 in
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, 
at the Palais Royale Saloon. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern. --- Lord Acton 1881 Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. --- Anthony Burgess (1917 - 1993) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A pretty girl asked the male clerk at a fabric counter, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Why, only one kiss per yard, " he replied with a smirk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards. With anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing behind her. "Grandma will pay the bill, "she smiled. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied. "What's it for?" "It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered. "Every time she stands on it she starts cussing." _____________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ >From Liz For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver. That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights. "What does a red light mean?" I asked. "Stop." "How about green?" "Go." "And yellow?" In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed, "HANG OHN!!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Julio Rodriguez, 20, Phoenix, Arizona Rodriguez caught trying to steal two trains from Phoenix rail yard the day he was released from jail A man caught in the engineer’s seat of a locomotive nearly pushed enough buttons and pulled enough levers to steal the train. The Union Pacific Railroad Police report that on November 8, employees heard a train horn blowing excessively and went to investigate. There they found 20-year-old Julio Rodriguez in the engineer’s seat. Rodriguez, who was released from jail that morning, allegedly admitted that he entered the railyard with the intention of stealing a locomotive. He reportedly told police that he climbed in and began moving levers and pushing buttons while reading the operation instructions found inside. After Rodriguez was removed from the train, employees inspected it and saw that Rodriguez had released the brake levers and put the engine in reverse. They say all he needed to do was engage the gear and apply the throttle and the engine would move. The $500,000 locomotive was attached to another engine at the time. Rodriguez has been charged with burglary and two counts of theft of a means of transportation. The report does not state what the bonehead planned to do with the locomotives. You can't really take them downtown and sell them, but leaving them in the path of a high speed train would be deadly. He is back in jail for good. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Valerie Re: Mail Settings Dear Webby, Dear Webby, Now. I found outlook, but got stuck on this part MY server is POP3 IMAP HTTP which one do I highlight? outgoing mail (SMTP) server what goes in that box? Valerie Dear Valerie Your mail server type is POP3 and thename of your POP3 server is your domain name. SMTP: There you put whatever your dial-up or DSL or cable ISP tells you. It could be for example smtp.telus.net or smtp.telusplanet.net. Just look on the site of your ISP or call their support and ask what to use for the name of the SMTP server. They are very familiar with that question and won't play stupid. Have FUN! DearWebby

>From Edna You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're drunk.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Bert for this story: Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment" she said. "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Windows with a Mop By Shirley Sackman [1 Post, 5 Comments] I figured this out years ago because I am short and we have lots of windows that need to be washed using a step ladder. Buy an inexpensive liquid dishwasher detergent (for a dishwasher) that has a "sheeting action" in the soap. Fill a bucket with warm water and stir in 1 cup of dishwashing detergent (for a dishwasher). Go outside and set up your garden hose for rinsing the windows. First rinse the window with clear water. Then using a sponge mop on a handle dipped into the detergent, wash your window. Follow with a clean water rinse and let dry. The sheeting action of the detergent will leave the windows streak free. By Shirley Sackman from Vicksburg, MI Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Myrna for this report: I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. __________________________________________________
Medieval Ring Found In Real-Life Sherwood Forest Could Be Worth A Fortune!
What are the three fastest means of communication? 1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tellawoman! ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 23, in 
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at
the Palais Royale Saloon. 

1903 Enrico Caruso made his American debut at the
Metropolitan Opera House in New York in "Rigoletto." 

1959 The musical "Fiorello!" opened on Broadway. 

1964 The Rolling Stones show up late for the BBC radio
shows, "Top Gear" and "Saturday Club" and are banned by the
BBC. 

1970 George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" was released in the
U.S. 

1972 The musical "Pippin" opened at the Imperial Theater on
Broadway. 

1974 Gary Wright quit the group Spooky Tooth to go solo. 

1976 Police arrested Jerry Lee Lewis outside the gates of
Graceland after he showed up for the second time that night
and made a scene by shouting, waving a pistol and demanding
to see Elvis Presley. 

1979 Marianne Faithful was arrested at Oslo Airport in
Norway for possession of marijuana. 

1984 The Metallica single "Creeping Death" was released. 

1990 MTV banned Madonna's "Justify My Love" video. 

1998 Donald Bohana, 61, was sentenced to 15 years to life in
prison for the drowning death of Delores "DeeDee" Jackson,
the ex-wife of Tito Jackson.

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 22

Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for injections into my
eyeballs. That means nothing will be sent out for Friday,
Saturday and  Sunday.

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Elderly man tied up and robbed 
twice by 19-year-old neighbor. Robber in jail now.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 22 in
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in
a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally
was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson
was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. --- Terry Pratchett, Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do. --- Lee Entrekin "I was married for a short time. Just long enough to realize that all those comedians weren't joking" --- Daniel Lybra ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor. "Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars." "It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot. "For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it." "Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 34 stray cats, some of them more than once." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I have run this Oldie-Goldie almost every year. It keeps coming back, so it must be good. Thanks to the folks from Erie for sending it back to me this time: A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the check-out, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" _____________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home, You want it you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal, looks to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $5o". That night someone stole it. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Kimmons, 19, Kenosha, Wisconsin Elderly man tied up and robbed twice by 19-year-old neighbor. Robber in jail now. Months after a 78-year-old man was tied up and robbed in his home not once, but twice, prosecutors have announced charges. A 19-year-old man is now behind bars. Neighbors are shocked to learn the man police were looking for lived just a stone's throw away from his victim. Anthony Kimmons is now facing eight felony charges, from armed robbery to kidnapping. Police say he told them he robbed the man because it "made him feel better." The elderly man's house now sits empty on 12th Avenue in Kenosha. "He said his goodbyes to everyone, everyone was real shaken up by it," said Benjamine Roman, neighbor. According to police, in July, the 78-year-old man was inside his home when an intruder came inside. Holding what appeared to be a gun, prosecutors say the suspect ordered the man to a chair. The suspect bound the victim's hands together with a gray electrical cord. His feet were tied with wrapping paper and black electrical tape. Eventually, the suspect made off with hundreds of dollars. It was a terrifying ordeal- if it had only happened once. "Then I heard it happened a second time," said Roman. "It's real sad." Investigators say less than a week later, the robber was back again. The victim once again was tied up, this time in his basement. For months, neighbors have been terrified. "What if that happened to us? We don't know what to do," said Jacola Hill, neighbor. This week, charges were filed. Prosecutors say DNA evidence has linked 19-year-old Kimmons to the crimes. Police say he admitted to the crimes, saying after the first robbery he "felt exhilarated" so he decided to go back again. The big surprise: the suspect and victim were also neighbors. Their homes are separated by an alley. "That's sad," said Hill. "That is really, really, really sad." Neighbors say they are thrilled to hear of an arrest, and are hoping their old neighbor can feel safe again. "It's so shocking. You never think something that dangerous could happen and then it does," said Roman. Police didn't have to go far to find Kimmons, because he was already in jail on a separate theft charge. Neighbors who have not seen the victim since he moved hope he can find closure with these charges. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Louise Re: HP driver Dear Webby, I have a HP Photo Smart 3200 all in one printer. For some reason I can't understand my husband uninstalled the printer. When I try to re-install it I get the message that Windows is unable to find the installation program even after I have inserted it. The scanner and copier still work. What can I do to get the printer installed again? Louise Dear Louise First go into the control panel, look for the CD and turn Auto-Play on. Then insert the HP disk and wait for it to bring up it's menu. It has a driver installation in the menu. Have FUN! DearWebby

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teef!" The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Thanks, but they're too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair... try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly!" With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "Oh I'm not a dentist. I work at the morgue."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An employee for USAir, who happened to have the last name of GAY, got on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight" programs. However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat. Unknown to Mr. Gay, another USAir flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being rerouted to various airplanes. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped". Airline officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember. So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?". The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have to get off the plane". Our Mr. Gay, overhearing what the Ticket Agent had said, tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!". This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!" Confusion reined as more an more passengers began yelling that USAir had no right to remove gays from their flights. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Memory Aid: Use Small Sized Post-Its Small post-a-notes (1.5 x 2") are much more practical and economical than the larger sizes. I bought 2 packs for $1 (of 50 sheets per pad, 4 pads to the pack) at a dollar store. I now have 400 small post-its. This size is perfect for small reminders to myself and I am not wasting the larger ones or worse yet, having to cut them into strips because I don't want to waste them. By Ronsan Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." __________________________________________________
Medieval Ring Found In Real-Life Sherwood Forest Could Be Worth A Fortune!
"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 22, in 
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and
Poland for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 

1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was
killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina.
British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed
him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 

1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was
incorporated in New Jersey. 

1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in
Berlin adopted the SOS distress signal. 

1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood
shafts in golf clubs. 

1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed
publicly. 

1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in
Alameda, CA, when the flying boat known as the China Clipper
left for Manila. The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces
of mail. 

1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime
Minister Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-
shek met in Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating
Japan. 

1950 The lowest scoring game in the NBA was played. The Fort
Wayne Pistons (later the Detroit Pistons) defeated the
Minneapolis Lakers (later the Los Angeles Lakers) 19-18. 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in
a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally
was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson
was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 

1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The
resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it
had captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize
Israel's right to exist. 

1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on
American travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on
February 8, 1963. 

1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation
Organization observer status. 

1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the
death of Gen. Francisco Franco. 

1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC
paid $4 million for the broadcast rights. 

1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between
New York and Europe. 

1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S.
nuclear missiles in West Germany. 

1984 Fred Rogers of PBS' "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood"
presented a sweater to the Smithsonian Institution. 

1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day
after her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for
spying for Israel. 

1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States.
It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 

1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential
area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians.


1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in
Colonel Oliver North's office that included an amount of
money to be sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons
sales to Iran. 

1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world
heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months
old. 

1988 The South African government announced it had joined
Cuba and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops
from Angola. 

1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated
less than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that
exploded next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and
other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with
U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 

1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North
American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). 

1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a
gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the
gunman were killed in the gun battle. 

1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire
in response to a retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 

1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian
giving lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally
ill patient. Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in
prison for second-degree murder. 

2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female
chancellor. 

2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 

2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The
dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in
eastern Utah. 

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 21

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar nabbed after leaving resume, 
cellphone behind
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 21 in
1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. 
It is 2000 Miles long and was built in one year. The
Environmental Impact Study took less than an hour.

"Winding In and Winding Out
I don't know whether the lout
Who built this rout
Was going to hell
Or coming out!"

I saw that in a campground outhouse on the Alaska Highway
in 1970, long before the highway was straightened out.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. --- Jay Leno (1950 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to bug him. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. 'Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy.' 'Oh really, hmm, didn't know that.' Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. 'I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!' 'You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn.' The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. 'I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!' 'Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you.' Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. 'Your right, he is unshakable!' The third English man said: 'No, no, no, I will really bug him, you just watch.' The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said... 'I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!' 'Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me.' _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The presiding judge had just completed rendering the court's verdict and was about to pass sentence when he asked the defendant if he had anything to say. "No, judge, there is nothing I care to say," answered the prisoner. "But if you'll let me clear away the tables and chairs in this here courtroom, so's I can properly beat the heck outa that no-good lawyer of mine, you can give me a year or two extra." _____________________________________ Half Dome _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the electric company would like to run a power line through his cow pasture. The Amish man said, "No, no you can not." "Legally, that paper says we can." replied the gruff worker. As he turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the Amish man went to his barn and turned his 1200 pound bulls bull loose into the pasture. As the bulls rumbled toward the workers in the field, the Amish farmer hollered, "Show them thy silly paper!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erin Sullivan, 39, Arizona Burglar nabbed after leaving resume, cellphone behind A convicted felon was arrested in connection with a series of home burglaries in metro Phoenix after he left his resume inside one house and his cellphone in another, according to Maricopa County Superior Court documents. Erin Sullivan, 39, is accused of stealing items worth more than $225,000 from multiple homes within the past month, court documents say. Sullivan entered a Scottsdale house near Hayden Road and 80th Place through an unlocked back door Oct. 24, police say in court records. The documents state the victim later noticed nearly $15,000 of jewelry as well as a handgun was missing. The victim also found a black binder that did not belong to anyone in the home. The Scottsdale police officers who responded to the incident opened the binder and found Sullivan's resume, records state. This led to a background check, in which officers found Sullivan to be an 11-time convicted felon, who was on probation and had been released from prison in June 2016, the court documents say. Sullivan's probation officer said the man was working as a salesman going door to door, court records say. On Nov. 3, detectives linked Sullivan to home burglaries in other areas, including Phoenix and Surprise. The Surprise Police Department confirmed camera equipment and a gaming system were stolen from a home in Surprise. Detectives found another burglary in Phoenix connected to Sullivan, in which the homeowner reported more than $200,000 in bags, jewelry, watches and luggage stolen, documents stated. Sullivan had left his cellphone in that home. When questioned, Sullivan denied any involvement in the burglaries despite some of the stolen items being found in his home, according to records. Officials found luxury watches hidden in cereal boxes in Sullivan's kitchen. The documents state that additional items from different residential burglaries were found. Some items, such as the gaming system and camera equipment, were recovered, according to officials. Sullivan is being charged with theft and multiple counts of burglary, records state. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Addresses in Eudora Dear Webby, For some strange reason, my 7 year old notebook, has started acting almost normally. It is now ok to travel with. I really appreciate all your help. One quick question; where do I find addresses in my eudora folder so I can copy them to my notebook? All the best. Bill Dear Bill Glad to hear that! With Eudora, I just copy over the entire Eudora folder. As far as I remember, addresses are in the 2 nndbase files. However, if you drag the entire Eudora folder onto a key-fob RAM stick, and from there onto the notebook, including the Install file, install it and it will be fine. I have done that since the early 90's, though with floppy disks in those days. Have FUN! DearWebby

Greg bought Keli, his wife, a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Bill asked how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Greg, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet." "How come?" Bill asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard ploughed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Aye," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pistachio Shell Flowers and Candle Holder By attosa [454 Posts, 2,493 Comments] Ever since I was a little kid, I've eaten a "lot" of pistachios. Even back then, I would save the shells in order to make crafts out of them because I thought they were so pretty to throw away. Yes, my thriftiness started at a young age. This is how I make flowers and candle holders out of my pistachio shells. Painting them is completely optional. I think they look lovely in their plain state. :) Total Time: 1 hour Supplies: several pistachio shells (about 1.5 cups worth or more) CD or cardboard rounds hot glue gun with glue candle acrylic paint and brush (optional) Pistachio Shell Flowers and Candle Holder plain candle holder and a red and plain small flowerEver since I was a little kid, I've eaten a "lot" of pistachios. Even back then, I would save the shells in order to make crafts out of them because I thought they were so pretty to throw away. Yes, my thriftiness started at a young age. This is how I make flowers and candle holders out of my pistachio shells. Painting them is completely optional. I think they look lovely in their plain state. :) Total Time: 1 hour Supplies: several pistachio shells (about 1.5 cups worth or more) CD or cardboard rounds hot glue gun with glue candle acrylic paint and brush (optional) Pistachio Shell Flowers and Candle Holder supplies Steps: To make a candle holder flower, place your candle in the middle of your CD to find out how much space you'll need around the first ring of pistachio shells. Dab some hot glue down on the CD. Begin adding pistachio shells side by side, standing straight up, all around the candle. When you've made your first ring around the candle, start a new one just outside of it, but with the shells leaning back a bit. As you keep making new rings, lay them down a bit more each time, as if the flower is in bloom. When the CD or cardboard round is fully covered, you are done. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com If you are doing that with kids, you can use glue made from flour and water. Nobody will get burned and start screaming. For the finish I recommend a light spraying of Candy-Apple red or green. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner." __________________________________________________
You can't help but laugh at this comedy routine called "The Fat Man."
The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts. I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher lady. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 21, in 
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship
discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26,
1620. 

1694 French author and philosopher Jean Francois Voltaire
was born. At age 65 he spent only three days writing
"Candide." 

1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air
balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois
Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 50
miles over Paris. 

1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 

1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his
phonograph. 

1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art
exhibit. 

1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. 
It is 2000 Miles long and was built in one year. The
Environmental Impact Study took less than an hour.

1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced
that "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine
measures against Cuba. 

1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred
Buzhardt, announced the presence of an 18-minute gap in one
of the White House tape recordings related to the Watergate
case. 

1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked
by a mob that set the building afire and killed two
Americans. 

1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out
"who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas.
Kristin was the character that fired the gun. (Texas) 

1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino
in Las Vegas, NV. 

1982 The National Football League (NFL) resumed its season
following a 57-day player's strike. 

1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay
Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for
Israel. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 

1986 U.S. Attorney General Meese was asked to conduct an
inquiry of the Iran arms sales. 

1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in
Oakdale, LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took
hostages. 

1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were
televised live for the first time. 

1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood issued an apology but refused
to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual
advances toward 10 women in past years. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making
the District of Columbia the 51st state. 

1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia
that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian "safe
area" of Bihac. 

1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast
at a test site in the South Pacific. 

1995 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the
5,000-mark (5,023.55) for the first time. 

1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned
space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 

2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to
keep the presidential recounts going. 

2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in
computers, software, training and cash to more than 12,500
of the poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as
part of a deal to settle most of the company's private
antitrust lawsuits. 

2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria,
Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 

2017  smiled.


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Damaged keyboard 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 20

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Father finds man in teen girl’s closet 
with her underwear and pictures
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 19 in
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC
Television. However, she remained a media favorite.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902) A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. --- Ring Lardner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one.." The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a bridge to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick?" The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four? _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's." _____________________________________ From Dad _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ A little girl had just finished her first week of school. She came home and said to her mother, "I'm wasting my time. I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!" _____________________________________________________ Happy Birthday, Sailor! Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Zabalza Ruelas, Glendale, Arizona Father finds man in teen girl’s closet with her underwear and pictures A Phoenix father came home to find a man inside his daughter’s closet with the girl’s underwear and pictures, according to KTVK. Police arrested Michael Zabalza Ruelas, of Glendale, who is facing one count of second-degree burglary. Police said on Thursday, Nov. 9, the family arrived home when they noticed their dog was barking at the closet. The father went to investigate and found Ruelas inside with photos of his 16-year-old daughter, her underwear and lotion, police said. The father then threatened to hit Ruelas with a crowbar and he took off out of the house, court documents said. He then drove away and the mother was able to get his license plate number, police said. Officers later spotted the suspect driving by the house and he was pulled over. After being arrested, police said Ruelas admitted to getting into the house through a window and “collected panties from different laundry baskets inside the house.” Ruelas said he took some of the underwear with him when he left the house, and the clothing items were inside the car when he was pulled over, according to police. He made his first court appearance and bond was set at $3,500. He’s had several run-ins with the law, including DUI, false reporting and failure to appear for a driving on a suspended license charge. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: Keyboard malfunction Dear Webby, Quick question for you. The only key i have not working is my exclamation key, every other key works fine. is it time for a new keyboard? The keyboard came with my new computer in the springtime.? Tried cleaning it but to no avail...be safe. Randall Dear Randall Try to get warranty. You can try whacking the keyboard really hard upside down onto a newspaper on your desk. If that does not fix it, just get a new keyboard. They are cheap. Which brand was it that died in half a year? Obviously you should avoid that. I have good results with Kensington and DELL keyboards. Have FUN! DearWebby

There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mineshaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Baby camel to his dad, "Dad, why have we got such big feet?" "so that we can carry our masters through the hot shifting sands of the desert where no other animal can go," replied Dad. "Dad, why have we such long spindly legs?" "So that we can carry our masters through all the prickly thorn bushes in the desert without scratching their legs," replied Dad. "Dad, why do we have such big humps on our backs?" "So that we can carry our masters for long distances across the desert without stopping for food or water," replied Dad. "Dad, why our we standing in the back of this truck, stuck in rush-hour traffic?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar for Whitening Corelle Dishes By Nancy Batdorf When we moved 5 years ago, my Corelle dishes were all white. However, after time using the dishwasher that was in the house, my dishes have turned dingy gray, especially on the bottom and around the edges. I've tried baking soda (that worked on my glasses) to no avail. Today, while hand washing them I thought 'let's see what vinegar does. So I poured some in a dishpan and put some bowls in and lo and behold they came out white. I really should have tried that sooner since I knew what other miracles vinegar performs. I just wanted to share this. I wrote Corelle and they never answered. I've also tried different cleansers but no good, the whole time the best and cheapest cleaner was in my cupboard. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife. We'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the Jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register." The husband says," no - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Her face gets really red and she is about to explode and then the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my emotional state about your unbalanced checkbooks and your overdrawn VISAs!" __________________________________________________
The rock houses that inspired J. R. R. Tolkien.
The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone. So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing. Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?" "I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my phone." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today, November 20, in 
1789 New Jersey became the first state to ratify the Bill of
Rights. 

1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent
of Spain. 

1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and
Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 

1901 The second Hay-Pauncefoot Treaty provided for
construction of the Panama Canal by the U.S. 

1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in
Mexico. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing
on Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes
tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany. 

1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip
Mountbatten, Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 

1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria,
Denmark and Sweden met to create the European Free Trade
Association. 

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union
removed its missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S.
ended its blockade of the island. 

1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million projected inhabitants.


1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to
residential use of the pesticide DDT as part of a total
phase out of the substance. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to address Israel's parliament. 

1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake
Pigneur pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island.
The freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours.
The Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the
previous freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater
lake. That put an end to salt mining.

1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the
controversial ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie
depicted the outbreak of nuclear war. 

1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. The
title was The Poky Little Puppy. 

1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be
the cause of the event that took 31 lives. 

1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National
Council. 

1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 

1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops
into the country of Kuwait. 

1990 The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Cape Canaveral,
FL, after completing a secret military mission. 

1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England. 

1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in
Zambia to end 19 years of war. 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince
Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC
Television. 

1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden
safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of
orchestrating two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later
terrorist attacks on New York City and the Pentagon. 

1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry
also agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 

2001 The U.S. Justice Department headquarters building was
renamed the Robert F. Kennedy building by President George
W. Bush. The event was held on what would have been
Kennedy's 76th birthday. 

2017  smiled.


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Restore keyboard lettering 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 19

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Tip of man’s thumb bitten off during 
strong-arm carjacking attempt
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 19 in
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address
as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil
War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. --- William James (1842 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A pastor saw Robert Schuller's TV program "Hour of Power. One of the things that impressed him the most during the program was watching everyone turn around to shake hands with and greet other worshippers seated near them. The pastor felt that his church was a bit stuffy and could use a bit of friendliness. So, at Sunday morning worship he announced that next week they would initiate this custom of greeting one another. At the close of this same worship service one man turned around to the lady behind him and said a cheerful, "Good morning!" She looked back at him with shock at his boldness and said, "I beg your pardon! That friendliness business doesn't start until next Sunday!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this test / report: Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? 1) Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few weeks and try to come to a consensus. 2) Republican's Answer: BANG! 3)Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ...(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those my Winchester Silver Tips or Mom's Hollow Points? Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one? Wife: You ain't taking THAT to the Taxidermist! _____________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ >From Fredd According to my mother, she and Dad decided to start a family soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months went by without success, they consulted the base physician, who chose to examine Mom right then and there. "Please disrobe," he told her. "With him in the room??" she yelled, pointing to my father. Turning to Dad, the doctor said, "Captain, I think I found the problem." _____________________________________________________ Happy Birthday, Sailor! Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jared Ross Lesesne, 24, Hampton, Virginia Tip of man’s thumb bitten off during strong-arm carjacking attempt A Virginia man survived a carjacking attempt but had part of his thumb bitten off as he fought off his attacker. The 67-year-old victim, who didn't want his name used, was attacked on November 9th in Hampton, Virginia, according to WTKR. He had a bandage covering his right thumb and said it was throbbing in pain after surgery on Tuesday. He told WTKR that he had gone to his older brother’s house to fix his wheelchair, but when he went to leave and get back in his truck a young man attacked him. “He just started whaling on me and trying to pull me on out of the truck,” he said. “I had a good size knot there and he hit me behind the ear which is still sore. At the same time, I’m laying back and kicking, trying to get him off of me.” He said the fight spilled over into the street and for a second it looked like the suspect gave up, but then he came back around and got into the passenger side of the truck and the assault continued. “I was trying to turn the ignition off with my left hand and I'm holding him around ... his neck with my right hand and at some point, my thumb ended up in his mouth and he bit down on it. I yanked my thumb out of his mouth and he ran,” he said. It took a few minutes for him to realize the tip was missing. “As I looked down and I asked the police officer what was that down there, she shined her light and that's when she discovered the tip of the finger laying there by the door of my truck,” he said. Police arrested 24-year-old Jared Ross Lesesne and charged him with malicious wounding and attempted carjacking. The victim said the shock of what happened didn’t set in until the day after the attack when the doctor explained that he couldn’t save the tip of his thumb. Now he has a warning for others. “Please be aware of your surroundings at all times." The victim will have more surgery on Friday and says he is just trying to deal with what happened. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Armin Re: Restore keyboard Lettering Dear Webby, How do I restore the worn off letters on my keyboard? Armin Dear Armin Buy some Lettraset in the same color and size at your nearest business supply store. Clean the worn off keys with Windex or similar cleaner, apply the Lettraset and seal it with clear nail polish. Have FUN! DearWebby

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful National Popcorn Day in my life!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
In a train compartmentin England, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me 1 pound, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me 10 pounds, I'll show you my thighs," Men being what they are, they all pull out a ten pound note. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her undies. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me a 100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis." Naturally, all three fork over the money. Then the girl turns to the window and points to a hospital in the distance and says, "There!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cardboard Windshield Cover For Bad Weather By Harlean [146 Posts, 456 Comments] With winter bringing snow, sleet and freezing rain, if you have to park outside in the weather, here is a tip that will save lots of time and frustration. When you are ready to park your car for the night, take a few minutes to take a couple pieces of cardboard and slip them under your windshield wipers so that they are held securely and cover your windshield. You will be so happy in the morning to just slide them off the windshield and have clear vision with no scraping and defrosting. You may even have time for a second cup of coffee before you head out the door for work. By Harlean from Hot Springs, Arkansas Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A mother had three very active boys. One summer evening, she was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!" She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day." __________________________________________________
Lyon, the City of Murals.
A four year old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up and announced, "I'm going to look just like you, mommy!" Her mother said, "Maybe, when you grow up." "No, mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Dear Webby I got fed up with hotmail and switched to Gmail, like you had recommended often enough. It took a bit of fooling around and reading, but no big deal to customize it to my liking. What I like most is that it is reliable and predictable. Thanks for recommending it! Andrea ____________________________________________________

Today, November 19, in 
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 

1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in
Madison, NJ. 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address
as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil
War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 

1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in
the Sunday New York World. 

1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E.
Blaisdell. 

1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with
a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority
was needed for ratification. 

1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the
first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 

1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their
winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 

1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 

1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production
of the unpopular Edsel. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon. 

1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 

1979 Nolan Ryan (Houston Astros) signed a four-year contract
for $4.5 million. At the time, Ryan was the highest paid
player in major league baseball. 

1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil.

1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit
in Geneva. 

1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of
nonaggression. 

1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-
crime measure. 

1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 

1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi
McCaughey. It was only the second known case where all seven
were born alive. 

1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton
began. 

1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without
Beard" sold at auction for more than $71 million. 

1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit
after adopting a new arms accord. During the conference,
Russia was criticized for its military campaign against
Chechnya's separatist movement. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the most
comprehensive air security bill in U.S. history. 

2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank
off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons
of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed
about 150 miles out to sea. 

2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security
at 424 airports nationwide. 

2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.

2017  smiled.


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Transfer files from TiVo drive 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 18

-20. No gullible  Warming around here. That cycle seems to
have ended. During my walk it felt like the inevitable "Ice
age is coming" cycle has started. 

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ohio man threatened to kill wife, 
commit ‘mass shooting’ that would 
‘go down in history’
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 18 in
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ He was one of those men who think that the world can be saved by writing a pamphlet. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The science teacher was discussing insects in her biology class for the kids. She said, "Moths always fly with their legs apart. Can anybody tell me why?" Some of the students looked at each other in a state of total confusion. Then, Johnny raised his hand. When called upon, he said, "Miss, have you ever seen the SIZE of moth balls?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From Boris I asked my wife if she had seen this morning's paper. She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it--just the classified section, though." I said, "But...but...I haven't seen it yet!" She replies, "Oh, you didn't miss much. Just some egg shells, coffee grounds and a few orange peels." _____________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this classic: When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and doing the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wei Li, 38, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio Ohio man threatened to kill wife, commit ‘mass shooting’ that would ‘go down in history’ A Cuyahoga Falls man has been charged after allegedly threatening to kill his estranged wife and shoot up the Las Vegas hotel and casino where she worked. Wei Li, 38, faces a charge of interstate threatening communications and destruction of evidence. According to the Cleveland Division of FBI, Li texted his estranged wife Nov. 6 multiple times making the threats. He also referenced a mass shooting at a church with at least 1,000 people in attendance. He indicated in the text messaging that the killing he planned to commit would go down in history and that he would blame his wife for all the deaths. According to court documents, he said the shooting at the casino would be a dry run. He also allegedly texted her photos of knives, rifles, a list of Las Vegas casinos and a picture of himself holding a rifle. On Nov. 9, he allegedly texted his wife telling her that if he didn't get his green card, he would kill her. The woman notified authorities that she was afraid for her safety. On Nov. 10, detectives and FBI agents were questioning Li and asked him to unlock his phone. He complied, but then deleted a string of text messages. He was then arrested. He will have his initial appearance in court Thursday. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Transfer files from TiVo to hard drive Dear Webby, Tivo to hard drive. Any ideas, or can it be done? Hope all is well with you and yours, Chris Dear Chris TIVO boxes have an internal hard drive and a port to connect to a computer home network. Depending on the model, the network connection is either USB1, USB2 or Ethernet. If you have a port free on your computer home network, it plugs right in. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Hilla for this story: Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t would be correct,'' he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Nonstick Meatloaf Here's a tasty way to keep meatloaf from sticking to the pan. Line your pan with a couple strips of bacon before putting the meatloaf in the pan. It's not cheap, but it sure tastes good. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda..."The Apostles were in one Accord." __________________________________________________
Unbelievable Lion Sculpture Made from Hammered Steel
Thanks to Ross for this warning: I hate it when people forward bogus warnings...but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM; they only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so silly now. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
DearWebby, you have occasionally mentioned Skype a few times every year for as long as I have known you. I finally installed it on the insistence of my grand daughter. Found out that my laptop has a camera and a microphone already built in! After an hour of yacking and laughing I got scared about the bill, and found out that video chat is free on Skype. Kicking myself now for not listening to you! We had so much fun! Alice ____________________________________________________

Today, November 18, in 
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England. 

1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping
Frog of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in
the New York "Saturday Press." 

1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 

1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the
U.S. rights to build the Panama Canal. 

1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary
Force in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in
France. The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 

1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated
cartoon premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's
"Steamboat Willie," starring Mickey Mouse. 

1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco. The USA did the same.

1942 "The Skin of Our Teeth," by Thornton Wilder opened on
Broadway. 

1951 Chuck Connors (Los Angeles Angels) became the first
player to oppose the major league draft. Connors later
became the star of the television show "The Rifleman." 

1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater
in New York City's Times Square. 

1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule
against eating meat on Fridays. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan
L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon. 

1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that
established a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 

1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

1985 Joe Theismann (Washington Redskins) broke his leg after
being hit by Lawrence Taylor (New York Giants). The injury
ended Theismann's 12 year National Football League (NFL)
career. 

1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 

1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 

1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation
providing the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S.
Senate in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients. 

1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution. 

1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the
largest banking deal in U.S. history. 

2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console
in the United States.

2017  smiled.


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How to fix CAPS LOCKED text 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 17
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Man With 130 Arrests Breaks Into Hartford Home, 
Resident Takes Refuge In Safe Room till cops 
with K9 arrive. K9 bites and subdues the crook.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the
Mediterranean and the Red seas.  
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. --- Dean Martin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to LittleMiss for this classic: Becky and Sally were doing some carpentry work on their house. Becky, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith. _____________________________________ Gary hooking up his skidder. If you are in the Yukon and need firewood, contact Gary: http://garysgotwood.com/ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Leroy Mims, 56, Hartford, Connecticut Man With 130 Arrests Breaks Into Hartford Home, Resident Takes Refuge In Safe Room till cops with K9 arrive. K9 bites the crook. A Hartford man is under arrested after a woman called police from a safe room in her house while he was stealing her jewelry. On Monday, police said they went to a home on Woodside Circle for a 911 report from a woman who said somebody broke into her house and was still there. Police said the homeowner sought shelter in a safe room and calmly maintained contact with police dispatchers while the man was in her house. Police said they saw broken glass when they got there with HPD K-9 Rosco, and maintained a perimeter of the home, while the woman stayed in contact with them. Police searched the home and Rosco found Leroy Mims, 56, hiding in the second-floor bathtub of the children’s bathroom. Police said he had a knife and was subdued by Rosco and then patrol officers. Mims had the victim’s jewelry and property in his backpack and pockets when he was arrested . Police said Mims is a convicted felon with 130 Hartford arrests with 46 prior convictions. He was charged with home invasion, second-degree larceny, first-degree criminal mischief, carrying a dangerous weapon, and interfering with police. He is being held on $100,000 bail. "I spoke to the family overnight," said Foley. "They're obviously shaken. [I'm] glad they made the decision to build the safe room and glad they're okay." _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Fixt Caps Locked text Dear Webby, I am editing (pro bono) a local service club monthly bulletin and occasionally get a script IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. I don't mind going through two or three paragraphs, but it will take forever to rewrite several pages -- not to mention how boring it is. If anyone knows a shortcut, I figure it is you. CAN YOU HELP? Thanx, Jerry Dear Jerry Just send it back to them and tell them that they are giving AOL a bad name, again. Tell them that there is more to life than slouching on the couch, a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand, and poking a Caps-Locked keyboard with the typo finger of the other hand. Jerry, you are not doing them a favor by lowering your standards to theirs! Bring them up to YOURS! He's a poor teacher, who has never been called a meanie. Have FUN! DearWebby

"From Francine As a realtor, I deal with all types of people. Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room. But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked, "Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit. Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst. So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars. The partner was horrified. "The judge is an honorable man," the partner exclaimed. "If you do that, I can guarantee you will lose the case!" Weeks later the judge ruled in favor of the lawyer's client. The partner took him to lunch to congratulate him. "Aren't you glad you didn't send those cigars to the judge?", the partner asked. "But I did send them," replied the lawyer. "I just enclosed the plaintiff's lawyer's business card!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Canned Cream Soups Cream soups, like cream of mushrooms, make easy sauces for vegetables, sauces and casserole filling. Stock up on cream soups when they are sale, they are a great time saving staple to have in your pantry. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Condensed or Concentrated soup is an even better deal. I use a can of condensed vegetable soup for 88 cents, add potatoes and whatever veggies I find in the fridge or a can of mixed vegetables, chop up an inch of smoked farmer sausage, and let it simmer to make a delicious bachelor's stew. Bachelor's Stew can be extended the next day. Just toss more potatoes and veggies into the leftovers. Do NOT use more cauliflour than you can finish the first day. Anything else reheats just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced. The wife answered the door. "Come in," she said. The other couple came in,sat down, then asked, "Where's John?" "Oh," replied his wife,"he's in the bathroom, grouting and spackling." "Oh, dear," said the other lady, "I had that once and didn't get over it for two weeks. __________________________________________________
Unbelievable Lion Sculpture Made from Hammered Steel
"From Walt Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire fixture, no small feat for a non- plumber. Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which belonged to my five-year-old son. I painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it. However, it didn't work much better than before! As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom. I pointed to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told him that the toilet still wasn't working. "Did you get the green one, too?" he asked. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Der Webby, dont worry about the accidental send of Opheliaès newsletter. I know accidents do happen now and then. Hubby saw it, and subscribed, and then he got friendly! Mia ____________________________________________________

Today, November 17, in 
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death
of Queen Mary Tudor. 

1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 

1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 

1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide
while in jail awaiting execution. 

1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the
Mediterranean and the Red seas. 

1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two
groups Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 

1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from
Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 

1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel
through the Panama Canal. 

1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from
dancing the tango. 

1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 

1962 Washington's Dulles International Airport was dedicated
by U.S. President Kennedy. 

1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on
schedule. The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-
32. 

1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was
released by Luna 17. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing
editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know
whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a
crook." 

1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13
female and black American hostages being held at the U.S.
Embassy in Tehran. 

1982 The Empire State Building was added to the National
Register of Historical Places. 

1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an
Islamic country. She was elected in the first democratic
elections in Pakistan in 11 years. 

1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the
River Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those
of World War II prisoners of war. 

1990 The Soviet government agreed to change the country's
constitution. 

1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside
the Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were
killed by police. 

1997 Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame. 

2001 "Toys "R" Us Times Square The Center of the Toy
Universe" opened in New York City. 

2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States.


2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the
first time humans had trapped antimatter. 

2017  smiled.


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Sky view tripod adapter 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 15
Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Juan Jose Vidrio Bibriesca's cocaine fell 
when he took his hat off in court
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 14 in
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began
their "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 

1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City.

See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. --- Steve Martin (1945 - ) Never fight an inanimate object. --- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - ) All good things in moderation ..... including moderation. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6. ______________________________________________________ Pigmy Owl _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Oredwine for this story: Jerry, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to Jill at the bar and stared up to the TV. The 10:00 PM news was now on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall building preparing to jump. Jill looked at Jerry and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Jerry replied, "You know, I bet he will." Jill said, "Well, I bet he won't." Jerry placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on." Just as Jill placed her money on the bar, the guy shown on the TV did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. Jill was very upset but handed $20 to Jerry saying, "Fair's fair, here's your money." Jerry replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." Jill replied, "I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Jerry took the money without further argument. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan Jose Vidrio Bibriesca, 43, Vail, Colorado Juan Jose Vidrio Bibriesca's cocaine fell when he took his hat off in court Authorities say a man who was in a Colorado court for violating his bond on a drug charge is in even more trouble after a wad of cocaine fell from his hat while he was in front of the judge. The Vail Daily reported Wednesday that 43-year-old Juan Jose Vidrio Bibriesca was standing next to two other defendants at an Eagle County District Court podium when he took his hat off and a square of folded paper fell out. A police officer watched the paper filled with cocaine fall to the floor, reports the AP, and after reviewing surveillance footage, authorities determined it fell from Bibriesca's hat. Bibriesca was then walked to the county jail, and now faces new charges of narcotics possession and another bond violation. Booking documents don't indicate if he has hired an attorney. The Vail Daily notes that Bibriesca is in the country illegally, meaning his legal woes aren't over. Even though he is in Colorado, he might get a free ticket to Mexico to visit relatives for Christmas. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Enid Re: Sky photo setup Dear Webby, Years ago you had a link for tripod adapters for sky photography. Yes, you guessed it, I did not bookmark it, because at the time I did not have a decent camera. Do you still have that link? Enid Dear Enid Try http://stormandsky.com/sky-tracker They have reviews of sky trackers, that will keep cameras focused on whatever stars you are interested in and follow them even while the earth turns. The same site also has very extensive storm tracking information. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Dave for this story: The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted, "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Julie for this story: Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to just boil the sauce again and it should be fine. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Slicing Meat Thinly Partially freeze meat before slicing and you can get thin, even cuts. This method is useful for preparing meat for stir fry and other Chinese dishes. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Thanks to David K for this report: Survey Results: In a recent survey, 47% of Americans said they thought there was a serious immigration problem that this administration needed to address. The other 53% responded, "No hablo Ingles." __________________________________________________
Japanese art students get together and make giant animals out of straw.
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
DearWebby Thanks to you I have unsubscribed to a dozen news. The Lamestream media and the conservative media are all full of BS, that I am as totally DISinterested in as in Christmas specials a month after Christmas. You stick to what I am interested in, so I dumped all other newsletters. Keep up the good work, DearWebby! Naomi ____________________________________________________

Today, November 15, in 
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak. 

1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began
their "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 

1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 

1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 

1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 

1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland. 

1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a
radio network of 24 stations. The first network radio
broadcast was a four-hour "spectacular." 

1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty
under peacetime conscription. 

1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it
crashed on Venus. 

1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as
astronauts James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr.
splashed down safely in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters
staged a peaceful demonstration against the Vietnam War. 

1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 

1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American
Eugene Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering
arms to Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in
prison and was pardoned a month later. 

1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person
on Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider
stock trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by
the SEC. 

1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of
the PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent
Palestinian state at the close of a four-day conference in
Algiers. 

1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year
career. 

1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to
six months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher.
Fisher was serving a prison sentence for shooting and
wounding Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 

1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit. 

1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed
a major trade agreement that involved China's membership in
the World Trade Organization (WTO). 

2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the
Los Angeles police department were convicted on several
counts of conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer
was acquitted. The case was the first major case against the
anti-gang unit. 

2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first
person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been
attacked by a dog earlier in the year. 

2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold
for $15.6 million.

2017  smiled.


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When mail does not go out 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 14
Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Brooklyn wacko, who slashed throat of 
ex-girlfriend's friend, charged with murder
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 14 in
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less
than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the
following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Humor is just another defense against the universe. --- Mel Brooks (1926 - ) Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. --- James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Sue One of my most difficult jobs as a flight attendant is to enforce rules while keeping customers happy. The electronic equipment that comes on board creates the biggest challenge. I walk the aisle asking passengers to turn off computers, electronic games and cell phones, which can create inter- ference in communications between the pilot and the air traffic control tower. During one landing, a man persistently kept his cell phone at his ear. I confronted him and said, "Sir, you cannot talk on your phone until we reach the gate." "I am not talking," he replied. "My wife is talking. I'm listening." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?" asked the old man. The young lady replied, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you've learned to put your hand in front of your mouth." "Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else can I catch my teeth?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Schwartz goes to see his Rabbi. He says, "Rabbi, I think my wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi says, "I'll tell you what...let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls Schwartz and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for four hours. Well, actually, she spoke for four hours while I near the phone was..." Schwartz says, Do you have any advice?" The Rabbi says, "Yeah. Take the poison." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ruslan Baimov, Brooklyn, New York Brooklyn wacko, who slashed throat of ex-girlfriend's friend, charged with murder A Brooklyn woman whose throat was slashed by her friend’s deranged ex-boyfriend has died, police said Wednesday. Larysa Saad, 42, was taken off life support at Coney Island Hospital on Tuesday — 10 days after police say Ruslan Baimov ripped her throat open during a bloody attack in Seagate. Family members plan to donate Saad’s organs, police said. Saad’s ex-husband wanted to keep her alive, hoping she would recover, her landlord Joseph Nikosevic said. She was making tea in her friend’s apartment on Neptune Ave. when Baimov pushed in an air conditioner and climbed through an open window just before midnight on Oct. 28, police said. Saad’s friend had recently broken up with Baimov, 40, who lives in the same building on an upper floor. “It's so sad,” Nikosevic, 64, said. "You should never help anybody. You seen what happens? She lost her life." Baimov slit Saad’s throat and then stabbed and raped his ex- girlfriend — all while the woman’s 11-year-old daughter hid in a bedroom, authorities said. He then allegedly held the two women hostage for hours, alternating between kissing his wounded former paramour and threatening to kill her. Saad remained on the ground in a pool of her own blood, gurgling and gasping for air, her 42-year-old friend told the Daily News. Baimov left the apartment about four hours after he broke in. Saad was rushed to Coney Island Hospital, where she was put on a respirator. Baimov is charged with attempted murder and rape. He was ordered held without bail following his arraignment on Oct. 31. The Brooklyn District Attorney will increase the charges to murder at Baimov’s next court appearance, sources said. He will of course also have charges for burglary of an occupied dwelling, assault with a deadly weapon and rape. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alice Re: Mail not getting through Dear Webby, I am sending this from a friend's computer, because mail from my computer does not seem to get through to anybody. What could be the cause of that? My regualr address is alicer@... Alice Dear Alice, The reason your mail is blocked by everybody is because you use an autoresponder. That makes you look like a silly moron and a nuisance, and your address gets blacklisted. You absolutely do NOT need to tell anybody, that their email arrived and that you will look at it when you get around to it or the next business day. That just annoys people. Most spam control programs recognize autoresponders, automatically dump mails from them and blacklist that address. Get rid of that dumb autoresponder and change your address. Most likely your friends will forgive you for having annoyed them with an autoresponder. Have FUN! DearWebby Reply from Alice Dear Webby At first I was miffed at your reply, that sounded like you had preached the same thing too many times. Pardon me for not having been subscribed as long as others. Then I phoned my daughter, hoping she had a different explanation. Well, golly, she didn't. And she had me blacklisted! Not on purpose, but as you said, anything that smells like an auto- responder gets dumped and the sender blacklisted. Now I dumped my autoresponder, and the stupid book that recommended it. Thanks Alice Autoresponders are only justified when they deliver requested information, like for example a price list, or weather update, or event schedule, or even race results when somebody sends a blank email to a certain address. Other than that, it's best to avoid them like the plague.

An English teacher often wrote little notes on student essays. She was working late one night, and as the hours passed, her handwriting deteriorated. The next day a student came to her after class with his essay she had corrected. "I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper." The teacher took the paper, and after squinting at it for a minute, sheepishly replied, "It says that you need to write more legibly!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound like her." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Seeds Seeds that you didn't get around to planting this year should be fine next year if stored properly. Most seeds can be stored for 3 to 4 years. The key will be storing the seeds in a cool, dry, and dark place. Keep the temperature between 40 and 50 degrees F. It's best to store them in a moisture-proof, sealed container. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com If you have ever seen a "Superbloom" in Death Valley, when wind blown seeds, that have been laying dormant for 50 years or since the last good rain, finally get a rain and just explode in a total color festival, then you stop worrying about storing seeds. Temperature and temperature changes from 100 degrees in the afternoon to near freezing at sunrise mean absolutely nothing to dry seeds. Just keep them dry. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Honey & Joe for this story: Married 52 years, I took a look at my wife Julie yesterday and said, "Honey, 52 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I go to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old chick. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70+ year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." Now Julie is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old chick, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.... ____________________________________________________ A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, bunny, it's back to the village for you." __________________________________________________
Beautiful, amazing paper sculptures.
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing nobody around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful, I had tennis elbow once...." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
http://flightaware.com/ Thanks for the entertainment everyday! Thought some of your readers would enjoy watching loved ones fly away or to them. Gayle ____________________________________________________

Today, November 14, in 
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people. 

1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published
in the U.S. 

1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination
of U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged
the following year. 

1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less
than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the
following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 

1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began
domestic radio service. 

1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new
constitution was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned
for the Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4,
1946. 

1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most
of the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe
bombers attacked. 

1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight
was seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los
Angeles. 

1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 

1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 

1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy,
FL. 

1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur
Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the
first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 

1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 

1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married. 

1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the
United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the
taking of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in
Tehran, Iran. 

1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests. 

1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime
Minister Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government. 

1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-
down in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 

1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to
publish Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho." 

1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom
Sihanouk returned to his homeland. 

1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex
for the first time under an accord that opened such sites to
outside inspections. 

1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown,
closing national parks and museums while most government
offices operated with skeleton crews. 

2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app
for iPhones. 

2017  smiled.


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Laptop for traveling 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 13
Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Police forced to stop interrogating suspect 
after he continually FARTS replies
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 13 in
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a
recipe and called it the "frankfurter." In Vienna (Wien),
Frankfurt seemed a modern town. Outside of Wien, his
sausages were called Wieners. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. --- Soren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855) The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. --- Socratex No human thing is of serious importance. --- Plato --------------- Seems to me, his wife strenuously disagreed with that. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I stopped at a friends house the other day and found him stalking around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he had gotten any flies, he answered, "Yeah, 3 males and 2 females." Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference. He answered, "3 were on beer glasses and 2 were on phones." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A man was brought before the court on the charge of refusing to obey a police officer. "Why did you refuse to move on when asked to do so by the officer?" the judge inquired, obviously wondering what unexplained force could have given such a man strength to buck a strong minion of the law. "It's like this, your honor," he explained. "My wife said I was to meet her at exactly twelve noon at that spot - and I was forced to choose between man's law and wife's law." ______________________________________________________ My dad sent this. It bloomed today. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something in her ear. "You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let you do a thing like that to me? I would NEVER do a thing like THAT!" Then her eyes narrowed and she hissed, "Unless you're the s.o.b. who found my diary on the bus..." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sean Sykes Jnr, Kansas City, Missouri Police forced to stop interrogating suspect after he continually FARTS replies police were forced to bring their interrogation with a suspect on drugs and gun charges to a swift end after he continually replied to their questions with FARTS. Sean Sykes Jnr was being questioned over intent to sell cocaine and being in possession of a firearm in Kansas City, Missouri, when the bizarre incident occurred. In his report, which emerged at court on Monday for a different crime, the detective interviewing the 24-year-old wrote: "Mr Sykes leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering with the address. "Mr. Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview." However, the cops did not forgive and forget. He was taken back into custody this month after being found in possession of a stolen fiream. Police searched a car containing Sykes only to find a .357 Magnum which had been reported missing a few days earlier. According to court documents, police also found marijuana and crack cocaine inside the vehicle. My Sykes is currently held in custody until a bond can be set. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lex Re: Which Laptop Dear Webby, Dear Webby Thank you so much for you very informative as well as delightful newsletter. Please advise me as to what laptop I should invest in. I have a pc at home, but I will begin traveling with my job within the next two weeks, (for a week at a time) and want to continue my computer usage. My needs are rather basic such as sending email, research on the net, keeping records/notes, yahoo messenger to communicate with my friends and family while away and staying in hotels. I would appreciate you being very explicit as to what you think I should purchase since I am not very computer literate. Thanking you in advance for any help you might offer. An Avid Dear Webby reader Lex Dear Lex Just get the cheapest DELL or Acer notebook that has or can be ordered with 4 GB of RAM. Order it with 3 year, next day, on-site replacement warranty, and NOT with Norton pre-installed. They will put either norton or McAfee on it in order to get the affiliate money, if you buy it. McAfee is easier to UNinstall when you put Malwarebytes on it. Nowadays, all the rest in a basic notebook is more than enough for business purposes. Don't get too large a screen! A 16" laptop won't fit under the narrow seats of the airplanes they use nowadays, and you wind up putting it into the overhead, out of your sight. There may be cheaper alternatives, but if you are using it for business and on the road, the fastest warranty service that you can get is worth the extra money. The better the warranty, the less likely you are going to need it. Have FUN! DearWebby

A married couple in New York's "Little Italy" went to their Priest to discuss birth control, since they already had five children. The husband inquired if perhaps oral sex would be an acceptable substitute in the eyes of the Church. The Priest explained that it was still considered a perverted act and a sin; totally banned according to their faith. The wife spoke up, fuming, "Look Father, you no play-a da game, you no make-a da rules!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Martin for this story: "Birds and Bees" A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting Into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!" Confused, the father asks what's wrong. "Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa Speech.' "At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' Speech.' "When I was eight, you hit me with the ' There's no tooth fairy' speech. "If you're going to tell me that grown ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pen Ink on Leather Here's a trick for removing an ink stain from leather. Spray a little hairspray (the cheap stuff works best) on the ink, let it sit for a few seconds, and wipe it off. Quite often, the ink will come right off. Be sure to test this solution in an inconspicuous place first to make sure it doesn't mark the leather. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked when she was not bitching, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement." "And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: A man was on Regent Street in London and entered a very posh gourmet food shop. A salesperson in a morning coat with tails approached and politely asked, "May I help to you, sir?" "Yes," replied the customer, "I would like to buy a pound of lox." "No, no," responded the dignified salesperson, "you mean 'smoked salmon'." "Okay, a pound of smoked salmon." "Anything else?" "Yes, a dozen blintzes." "No, no. You mean 'crepes'." "Okay, a dozen crepes." "Anything else?" "Yes, A pound of chopped liver." "No, no. You mean 'pate'." "Okay," said the Jewish patron, "a pound of pate, and I'd like you to deliver this Saturday morning." "Sir," said the indignant salesperson, "we don't schlep chazzerai on Shabbos." __________________________________________________
Sweden seems to have more vintage 1950s American cars than America.
Dear Webby I finally decided to get the MailWasher from the right side. Should have listened to your advice a lot sooner. It saved me over an hour every day so far, and sorts the mail more accurately than I can by hand. Thanks! Gilbert ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken." A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building. "What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!" ____________________________________________________

Today, November 13, in 
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal. 

1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which
he said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain,
except death and taxes." 

1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a
recipe and called it the "frankfurter." In Vienna (Wien),
Frankfurt seemed a modern town. Outside Vienna, his sausages
were called Wieners. 

1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing
access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the
Hudson River. 

1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in
America took place. 

1940 The Walt Disney movie "Fantasia" had its world premiere
at New York's Broadway Theater. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 

1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for
racial segregation on public buses. 

1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first
spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 

1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in
Washington, DC. 

1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli
Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that
the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to
Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free
hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 

1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 

1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S.
citizens. 

1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press
for the North American rights to her story about her affair
with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order
that would allow for military tribunals to try any
foreigners captured with connections to the terrorist
attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. It was
the first time since World War II that a president had taken
such action. 

2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube
for $1.65 million in Google stock. 

2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the
moon. The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon
of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite
(LCROSS). 

2017  smiled.


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How to fix a slowed down computer 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 12
Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman arrested for baking roommate’s ferret 
alive in the oven
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 12 in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ One man's folly is another man's wife. --- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Donny Subject: STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% THE STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM (No laughing allowed) I wanted to give him 100%! but I was told that it wouldn't politically correct. Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too. Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die? *His last battle Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? *At the bottom of the page Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state? *Liquid Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce? *Marriage Q5.. What is the main reason for failure? *Exams Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast? *Lunch & dinner Q7.. What looks like half an apple? *The other half Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become? *Wet Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping? *No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? *You will never find an elephant that has one hand. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? *Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? *No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and commercial and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, it's mid afternoon. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon. If it's a Coast Guard aircraft it's two hours to Happy Hour. If it is a private airplane, it's around 3 PM." ______________________________________________________ Barrientos Island, Antarctica _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?" There was a long pause. Finally, the girl got his attention by stomping on his toes, looked over at the apprehensive young man and firmly said, "Put down 'yes.'" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ivana Clifford, 26, Manchester, New Hampshire Woman arrested for baking roommate’s ferret alive in the oven A woman in Manchester, New Hampshire, is facing an animal cruelty charge after she allegedly killed her roommate’s pet ferret by cooking the small animal the oven. Ivana Clifford, 26, was arrested early Wednesday morning after officers responded to a report of smoke in an apartment building. “The smoke detector woke us up,” her roommate, Cara Murray, told CBS Boston. The smoke was coming from the apartment’s oven. When her boyfriend, James Klimavich, opened the appliance, he found a dead ferret inside, she said. The ferret was Angel, one of three belonging to Murray. Angel was “very friendly, she was so cute, she was very energetic, she would run around with the other ferrets,” Murray told CBS Boston. “How can someone be so cruel to put an animal in your oven? Cooking it alive?” Murray said in an interview with WHDH. Firefighters confirmed to the station they found a ferret covered in burn marks in the apartment. “We love our animals so much. It was just devastating,” Murray said. Murray and Klimavich fingered Clifford as the suspect, and told police she was staying with them because she was 8 months pregnant, according to New England Cable News. Clifford was charged with one count of animal cruelty. She pleaded not guilty during her arraignment on Wednesday. Clifford allegedly told police she killed the pet because Murray had stolen her clothes, but Murray believes did it because Angel bit Clifford a few hours earlier. “Just nipped her, didn’t even draw blood, and that’s why she killed our ferret,” Murray told New England Cable News. Judge Gillian Abramson said the allegations against Clifford ?display a profound sense of sadism” and set bail at $10,000, according to WMUR TV. Murray is worried about Clifford’s ability to mother a child once she gives birth. “If she can throw a live ferret in the oven, what makes you think she won’t throw a baby in the oven if it cries?” Murray told NH1 News. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: Computer slowed down Dear Webby, My computer has become very slow. I have done Defrag, etc.and turn it off at night to let it 'rest'. When I type a word, it has a delay and then the word is jumbled. Any suggestions? Denise Dear Denise Neither defrag nor resting have anything to do with that problem. I have not done a defrag for probably 3 years, and I don't turn my computer off to rest. I Restart it about once a month. And it runs just fine. 1) Run Malwarebytes to get rid of any really bad shit 2) Run Spybot-Search&Destroy 3) Run CrapCleaner 4) Run Should I Remove It from http://www.shouldiremoveit.com/ and get rid of any crap programs, that you don't really need or want Restart After that everything should be running smoothly. If you do it in that order, your machine will be as fast as it was when you bought it. Have FUN! DearWebby

A young boy was one of those little terrors who was hard to control. His father was surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bicycle for his birthday. He said, "Do you really believe that will improve his behavior?" She said, "Well, no, but it will spread it over a wider area."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase." The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare, just got on this vera moment." They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus. It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are ya trin' to overcharge me for the ticket -- but now you're gone 'n drowned me boy Jonny." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put Mayo Between Meat and Cheese To Prevent Soggy Sandwiches By Jessica [3 Posts, 18 Comments] My son loves Bologna and Cheese sandwiches with Mayo, but I've always hated knowing that by lunch he was eating a soggy sandwich. SO, I started putting the mayonnaise on between the bologna and cheese so that the bread doesn't get soggy. It's worked wonders and he doesn't complain. By Jessica from Richmond, KY Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Back during the days of the Soviet Union, it took 10 years to get a car after you paid for one. Once, a young guy went to the car dealership to order a car. He paid the money, and the asked when can he come and get the car. "It will be here, waiting for you, exactly 10 years from today". The man signed the papers, started waliking away and then stooped, turned and asked the salesman: "Wait, will it be ready at the morning or at the afternnon". "What difference does it make?", asked the salesman. "Well", answered the man, "the plumber is coming in the morning". __________________________________________________
Sweden seems to have more vintage 1950s American cars than America.
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Yes, brave Oyster Slayer, they sure do." he replied. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
DearWebby just want to thank you for the humor every day , I can't wait until the next morning to read it . I always learn something and start the day with a chuckle. Jim ____________________________________________________

Today, November 12, in 
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor
shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him. 

1892 William "Pudge" Heffelfinger became the first
professional football player when he was paid a $500 bonus
for helping the Allegheny Athletic Association beat the
Pittsburgh Athletic Club. 

1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the
first American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 

1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics. 

1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party
leading to Stalin coming to power. 

1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
It was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the
National Hockey League (NHL). 

1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a
major victory. 

1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz"
was surrounded and sunk off the coast of Norway. 

1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the
Exchange National Bank in Chicago, IL. 

1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier
Hideki Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to
death. 

1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking
out home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim of the U.S.
District Court in Philadelphia. 

1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York
Harbor, closed after processing more than 20 million
immigrants since 1892. 

1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37
MPH. 

1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the
first NFL head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10
seasons. 

1975 U.S. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas retired
because of failing health, ending a record 36½-year term. 

1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports
from Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage
at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 

1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles
of Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 

1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid
I. Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist
Party's Central Committee. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen
snared the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space
salvage. 

1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to
life in prison for his role in a spy ring run by his
brother, John A. Walker Jr. 

1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy
statement that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse
to treat someone solely because that person had AIDS or was
HIV-positive. 

1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the
Chrysanthemum Throne. 

1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director.


1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to
dock with the Russian space station Mir. 

1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to
death in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company
employees. 

1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq
for constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 

1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center. 

1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG. 

2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after
take off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300
crashed into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260
people aboard were killed. 

2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther
Alliance at this point was reported to have control over
most of the northern areas of Afghanistan. 

2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment
Inc. that claimed the company had cheated him out of
millions of dollars in movie profits related to the 2002
movie "Spider-Man." Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the
Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 

2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British
painter Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud
sold for $142.4 million at an auction in New York City. 

2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The
height was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the
fourth tallest building in the world at the time. 

2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement
with the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a
merger that would create the world's largest airline. 

2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that
Russian military equipment and Russian combat troops had
been seen entering Ukraine in columns over several days. 

2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet.
The comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 

2017  smiled.


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Default picture viewer 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 11

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman caught attacking bouncer 
using 12-pack of beer as weapon
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 11 in
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. --- Rita Mae Brown ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald. Ticket Agent, Searching Book: Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway? Man: Over there. He's my brother-in-law. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ At a PTA Meeting it was explained to the parents how the sex education classes would proceed and what the overall content would be. The Principal advised the parents to closely follow-up with their children, especially to see if they had any questions. That night, one parent decided to put it into action. He called his older son into the study and requested that he instruct his younger brother about the "birds and the bees" talk he gave to his son two years ago; thinking to spare himself the ordeal all over again. The boy agreed and called in his younger brother. "Hey Herman," he said, "Want to know something ?" "What ?" the younger lad asked. "You know how a man and a woman get together when they want to have kids ?" "Yeah, so?" "Well...dad wants me to tell you that birds and bees and flowers do the same thing." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her. The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?" A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Casey Lynn Willey, 27, Gainesville, Florida Florida woman caught attacking bouncer using 12-pack of beer as weapon Casey Lynn Willey, 27, was being removed from the Gainesville, Florida, nightclub Eight Seconds by a bouncer when she allegedly struck him with the case of beer, according to the Alligator. Willey was being removed from the club because she refused to leave after the country music nightclub had closed after 3 a.m. Authorities handcuffed her, but she tried to escape while police conducted an investigation. She also refused to give her name or date of birth, and was violent toward officers, according to a report obtained by the Alligator. Willey eventually gave authorities the information they needed before aggressively stepping toward an officer. The bouncer did not wish to press charges. Willey was arrested, charged with disorderly conduct and taken to Alachua County Jail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: George J Re: Default picture viewer Dear Webby, Is there any way I can get the Windows Picture and FAX Viewer to open images automatically instead of Microsoft Photo Editor when I click on Photos and Images? I can right click on the thumbnail and then choose the program, but that is an extra step and I want it automatic on left click! George J Dear George While I would not use either of those programs myself, I use PSP, there is a way that you can tell Windows what program to use by default. Click on START, Control Panel Folder Options File Types In there find the icons for GIF, JPG, etc highlight them and click on CHANGE then select the Windows Picture and Fax viewer. Do that for all picture formats that you want to open automatically with that program. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Connie for this story: My husband's grandmother passed away and for many months afterwards my father-in-law made repeated phone calls to attempt to stop companies from sending mail to the house for his deceased mother. In frustration, he finally went to the post office and filled out a change of address card, changing her address to the Jefferson Memorial Park where she was laid to rest. It worked! No more mailings came to the house.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You've probably heard of "deja vu," the feeling of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some related expressions Feel like I've... ...milked this cow before: deja moo ...seen this strange animal before: deja gnu ...smelled this bad odor before: deja phew ...visited this menagerie before: deja zoo ...scared this person away before: deja boo ...read this mystery book before: deja clue ...been in this courtroom before: deja sue ...felt this bad before: deja rue ...felt this sad before: deja blue ...expanded this way before: deja grew ...seen this slime before: deja goo ...learned this stuff before: deja knew ...waited in this line before: deja queue ...eaten this dinner before: deja stew ...pursued this person before: deja woo ...forgotten your name before: deja who ...had this feeling of deja vu before: deja too ...seen these twins before: deja two ...used this beer recipe before: deja brew ...been on this airplane before: deja flew ...came up with this innovation before: deja new ...fed these pigeons before: deja coo ...sketched this portrait before: deja drew ...ended this relationship before: deja through ...felt this ill before: deja flu ...sheared this sheep before: deja ewe ...munched on this gum ball before: deja chew ...sat through this sermon before: deja pew ...played in this wet grass before: deja dew ...admired this scenery before: deja ooo ...lost it under the bed before: deja shoo ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Your Home When Traveling When you are on vacation, your home is most susceptible to burglary. One trick to create the illusion that you are home is to put a few lights on a timer. Individual timers can be found at the hardware store. Program the individual lights to turn on for a while each night. It's also a good idea to have someone visit your house every couple days to make sure mail, newspapers, or packages aren't piling up. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Just came across this from a 2006 Humor Letter: Kudos go to Scotland's lawmakers The "Serious Organized Crime and Police Act 2005" in Scotland gives police the authority to seize and crush the cars of people driving without insurance or without a driver's license. "The region's top police officer said yesterday a "clear message" is being sent to would-be offenders." "Unlicensed and uninsured drivers are a threat to all road users, and we aim to remove that threat by removing their means of transport," said Mr Vine. "In other words, if they have no licence, no insurance, then soon they will have no car." The chief constable said, "There will be no period of grace. The law is the law." -------------- If the US adopted that law, GM and Ford might become profitable again! __________________________________________________
Sweden seems to have more vintage 1950s American cars than America.
"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you." ---Jay Leno ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Just a quick note to thank you, once again, for the Humour Letter... not a day goes by that I don't get a giggle from it and more importantly learn something new from it. As you know constant learning keeps me young...at this rate I may need a good contact for a play-pen....lol. Ann D. ____________________________________________________

Today, November 11, in 
1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown
Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal
laws." 

1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged
in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 

1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 

1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held
by the New York Athletic Club. 

1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged
at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 

1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers. 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States. 

1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany. 

1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and
H.O. Merriman. 

1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington
Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 

1940 The Jeep made its debut. 

1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation
of France. 

1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John
Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 

1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence
from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 

1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The
craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 

1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the
South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of
direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 

1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence
from Portugal. 

1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-
story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 

1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class
submarine. 

1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial Fund. 

1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at
age 5. 

1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys,"
becoming the second largest computer company. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record
53.9 million dollars in New York. 

1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven
bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea
Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people,
convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 

1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after
World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others
were still living in his country voluntarily. 

1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests.

1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition. 

1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served
in the Vietnam War. 

1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at
an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 

1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall
That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the
Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities
throughout the United States. 

1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were
laying off 10,000 employees. 

1997 Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third
major league player to win the Cy Young Award four times. 

1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet
apart. 

1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement
with the Palestinians. 

2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to
fight AIDS in India. 

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 10
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman caught swapping barcodes at Walmart
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10 in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence
after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The
Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798.
This day is observed as the birth date of the United States
Marine Corps. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit. --- Sir Frederick G. Banting (1891 - 1941) The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. --- Larry Hardiman Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off". _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A group of young medical students started their psychiatry rotation and were a little worried about what they would encounter, after hearing all the rumors from other students. On the first day, they went to the Psychiatric ward and were quite relieved when the Registrar, Dr. Nathaniel Bigelow, introduced himself and took the group into the teaching room. Dr. Bigelow told the medical students about all the patients on the ward, with precise details and complete information. Unfortunately, the worries of young medical students returned in an instant, when the real Registrar entered the teaching room and said, "Good morning, everyone. I am Doctor David Filmore. Let me introduce Hank Bigelow, here. He has been one of our patients for quite some time, now." ______________________________________________________ Not NOW, Johnny! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ A couple was married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding. They were discussing the details with their friends. The wife wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with the dress. She replied, "Silver." At that point, her husband quipped, "Yes, silver, to match her hair." She looked at her husband, who had been getting a little bald and said, "So, I guess you are going barefoot." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cheyenne Amber West, Vero Beach, Florida Florida woman caught swapping barcodes at Walmart A Florida woman is accused of paying only $3.70 for nearly $2,000 worth of electronics after she allegedly swapped barcodes at a local Walmart. "The computer is for my husband. Since he just got me a Coach purse, I figured he deserved something nice as well. According to a Walmart loss prevention officer, Cheyenne Amber West and another women entered the store and began taking video game controllers, a computer and other items from the electronics department. They then allegedly went to the clearance section, where they took out the devices from their boxes and containers and placed clearance price tags on them. The pair then proceeded to a self-checkout counter, where they allegedly scanned the clearance barcodes and paid a total of $3.70. The electronics cost a total $1,825.20. According to the arrest affidavit, the 25-year-old said "I am just trying to get gifts for my son that I cannot afford. The computer is for my husband. Since he just got me a Coach purse, I figured he deserved something nice as well. West has been charged with felony grand theft and shoplifting, according to the Indian River County Sheriff's Office. She has been released from jail after paying her $3,000 posted bond, and will appear in court on December 13. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Windows font sizes Dear Webby, the body type on all the Emails and Favorite places comes through really small. Any suggestions on how to increase it without this septuagenarian using a magnifying glass? Jerry Dear Jerry Right-click the desktop Personalize Display Set Custom text size (DPI) In there, crank up the numbers. I use 125% Don't ask ME why something simple is hidden in such a silly rigmarole. It works, though, if you get to that spot is the labyrinth. Have FUN! DearWebby

A family from the hills was visiting the city and were in a shopping mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?" The father said, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life. I ain't got no idea what the heck it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old woman in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, the lady rolled between them into a small room, and they closed. The boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. When the number one was lit again, the walls opened up. The boy and his father watched in amazement as a beautiful young woman stepped out of the small room. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go get your mother."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Michelle for this one: The garbage man came early today. I heard his truck from inside the house so I threw on my robe and ran outside to catch him. He was pulling away from the neighbors curb when he saw me running and waiving my arms. "Hey! Wait!" I yelled. "Am I too late?" He looked me up and down and said, "Nah, just jump in." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plastic Bags on Your Feet When Painting If you are painting and don't want to get paint on your shoes or the floor throughout the rest of your house, tie plastic grocery bags over your shoes. Then tear off the grocery bags when you need to leave the room you are painting and put on a new pair before you re-enter the room. It's not very fashionable but it does the trick. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Pros use old, paint splattered but still firm and tight slippers for painting. They can drop them at the door without using hands, if they have to go to another room. Those are much safer on ladders or when reaching over furniture. Some also have a clean pair of soft and fuzzy slippers waiting at the door for going to clean areas. A minute of preparation can save a lot of cleaning. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ A man was visiting his elderly neighbor and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The neighbor asked, "When did you bag him?" The old man said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the neighbor. "My ex-wife," replied the old man __________________________________________________
This Bizarre Australian Town Is Impossible To Find, Unless You Know Where To Look.
While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad. "That's not your real father," she said, startling the whole family. "Yes, he is!" Andy replied. "No, he's not," Jennifer insisted. "God is your heavenly father." Then pointing at her dad, she said, "That's your homely father!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. She got into the spirit of things and started jumping up and down and teasing the ape without any more prompting. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips. Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, pushed her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut. "Now, tell him, you have a headache." ____________________________________________________

Today, November 10, in 
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence
after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The
Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798.
This day is observed as the birth date of the United States
Marine Corps. 

1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling. 

1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?" 

1879 Western Union and the National Bell Telephone Company
reached a settlement over various telephone patents. 

1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White
House. 

1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan.


1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began
when Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his
counterpart in Alameda, CA. 

1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 

1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season
crowd in NFL history. 

1969 "Sesame Street" made its debut on PBS. 

1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 

1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its
crew of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 

1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been
kidnapped in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to
pay the cab fare. 

1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack
at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 

1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was
opened to visitors. 

1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas
would be the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The
project was cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct.
1993. 

1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of
marital sexual assault against his wife who sexually
mutilated him. Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of
malicious wounding her husband. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady
Bill, which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases. 

1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop
enforcing the arms embargo against the Bosnian government
the following week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to
lifting the ban. 

1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the
action would end trade sanctions. 

1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-
Wiwa along with several other anti-government activists. 

1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after
a massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The
disaster left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 

1996 Dan Marino (Miami Dolphins) became the first
quarterback in NFL history to pass for more than 50,000
yards. (Florida) 

1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation.
It was the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37
billion. 

1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the
murder of two CIA employees in 1993. 

1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's
murder conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English
au pair to time served. She had served 279 days in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. 

1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website
(www.thevirtualwall.org) was unveiled. The site allows
visitors to experience The Wall through the Internet. 

2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's
membership. 

2004 Yusuf Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens) was awarded
the "Man for Peace" prize in Rome at the opening of a
meeting of Nobel Peace Prize laureates. 

2017  smiled.


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PayPal Congratulations Scam 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 9

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Man Arrested On Meth Charges 
Wears Ironic T-Shirt In Mug Shot
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9 in
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gloria for this story: Fresh from the shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, stands in front of the mirror and rubs it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops, getting suspicious. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them bigger over the years?" "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He lived, and with some therapy, he may even walk again... _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One evening, a wife drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "Just sidetrack her hubby for a few minutes." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Sleeping is not just for meetings any more! Australia - News.com Rather than crumbling into unsightly heaps on their desks, Sydney workers may soon have access to a comfortable and legitimate place to nap at their offices. MetroNaps Australia launched its sleep pods in the foyer of the ABN AMRO building, on the corner of Phillip and Bent Sts in the city. Busy workers are invited to stop in and put up their feet for 20 minutes to relax and rejuvenate in style. Nappers' privacy is secured by the darkness of the dome shaped pod, which lets them drift into a light sleep to the sound of relaxing music on a pair of headphones. It is a pastime that people in Copenhagen and New York are already starting to enjoy. "A nap will improve mood levels, information processing abilities and production levels of staff." Following an efficient 20-minute nap at noon yesterday, futures broker Mark Bryant said the time out was well-spent. "I found especially the music and blackout effect helped clear my mind to be able to refocus," he said. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adrian Harold Pounders, Crocket, Texas Man Arrested On Meth Charges Wears Ironic T-Shirt In Mug Shot A Texas man was wearing an anti-drug T-shirt when he was arrested last weekend for alleged possession of methamphetamine. In his booking photograph, Adrian Harold Pounders wore a top that read “DontMethWithMe.org.” The web address he proudly promoted on his chest ironically links to an anti-meth drive that warns Texans about the dangers of the highly addictive drug. Pounders, 47, was detained when cops raided his home in Crockett on Sunday. According to a Crockett Police Department Facebook post, the officers executed a search warrant after being tipped off during an earlier traffic stop that illegal narcotics were located inside his residence. “While executing the search warrant officers recovered methamphetamine, and numerous items of drug paraphernalia,” the Facebook post adds. The value of the drugs has not been revealed. Pounders was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia, reports KYTX. He also faces charges of abandoning or endangering a child, as his 13-month-old son was at the property. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Anita Re: PayPal Congratulation mail Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I got some mails, supposedly from PayPal, that start with Congratulations Dear Lucky Winning, We are very happy to inform you ... Are they scam or should I tell them what they ask for? Anita Dear Anita PayPal and Facebook already have all your data. They dont need some turdy spam to con it out of you. I got those scam-spam letters too, saw them in Mailwasher, already flagged for deleting. I thought it was rather hilarious that you were supposed to send your street address to fundoffice.internationalmonetary@yahoo.com @yahoo.com ! Just have a quick laugh and dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby

One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her six year old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room. When she went in at 5 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It read, "My name is Daniel." --------------------- They usually just do that with serious head injuries and brain surgery, but some nurses can get quite carried away. I remember one who insisted on writing her name and the time of each check onto the sole of my right foot with a fine point ball pen. And when she ran out of space, she continued on my left foot. I tell ya, that can wake a guy out of the most cozy coma!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Trevor: DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE [Or, "Welcome to my life."] * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you. * Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire. * The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam. * Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long. * 23 power cords - 1 outlet. * The carpet has been there since 1976 (or before) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers. * If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you." * You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone. * When you kill a fly with your 16 inch plastic ruler, a dozen people dial 911 to report the shooting. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Get Firewood Now, Don't Wait for Winter You can save money on firewood by getting it in early summer and late spring. For starters, you pay a premium the closer you get to cold weather. And, you don't have to limit yourself to buying firewood that is completely dry, it will cure over the summer months and be ready to burn when you need it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?" __________________________________________________
Strange growing rocks in Romania.
NEWS FLASH! - Brian/College Station's worst disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." ____________________________________________________

Today, November 9, in 
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to
see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign
trip by a U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would
abdicate. He then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German
troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The
event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took
control of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders
at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other
labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial
Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews,
and rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that
became known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major
league baseball did not come within the scope of federal
antitrust laws. 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states
and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo
spacecraft blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful
test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called
upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay."
Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week
Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman
were also involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion
loan to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard
came out of retirement to fight one more time before
becoming a boxing commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London,
appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt,
and asked British businesses to invest. 

2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened
Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to
pedestrians.

2017  smiled.


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PayPal congratulations Scam 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 9

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Man Arrested On Meth Charges 
Wears Ironic T-Shirt In Mug Shot
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9 in
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gloria for this story: Fresh from the shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, stands in front of the mirror and rubs it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops, getting suspicious. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them bigger over the years?" "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He lived, and with some therapy, he may even walk again... _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One evening, a wife drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "Just sidetrack her hubby for a few minutes." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Sleeping is not just for meetings any more! Australia - News.com Rather than crumbling into unsightly heaps on their desks, Sydney workers may soon have access to a comfortable and legitimate place to nap at their offices. MetroNaps Australia launched its sleep pods in the foyer of the ABN AMRO building, on the corner of Phillip and Bent Sts in the city. Busy workers are invited to stop in and put up their feet for 20 minutes to relax and rejuvenate in style. Nappers' privacy is secured by the darkness of the dome shaped pod, which lets them drift into a light sleep to the sound of relaxing music on a pair of headphones. It is a pastime that people in Copenhagen and New York are already starting to enjoy. "A nap will improve mood levels, information processing abilities and production levels of staff." Following an efficient 20-minute nap at noon yesterday, futures broker Mark Bryant said the time out was well-spent. "I found especially the music and blackout effect helped clear my mind to be able to refocus," he said. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adrian Harold Pounders, Crocket, Texas Man Arrested On Meth Charges Wears Ironic T-Shirt In Mug Shot A Texas man was wearing an anti-drug T-shirt when he was arrested last weekend for alleged possession of methamphetamine. In his booking photograph, Adrian Harold Pounders wore a top that read “DontMethWithMe.org.” The web address he proudly promoted on his chest ironically links to an anti-meth drive that warns Texans about the dangers of the highly addictive drug. Pounders, 47, was detained when cops raided his home in Crockett on Sunday. According to a Crockett Police Department Facebook post, the officers executed a search warrant after being tipped off during an earlier traffic stop that illegal narcotics were located inside his residence. “While executing the search warrant officers recovered methamphetamine, and numerous items of drug paraphernalia,” the Facebook post adds. The value of the drugs has not been revealed. Pounders was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia, reports KYTX. He also faces charges of abandoning or endangering a child, as his 13-month-old son was at the property. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Anita Re: PayPal Congratulation mail Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I got some mails, supposedly from PayPal, that start with Congratulations Dear Lucky Winning, We are very happy to inform you ... Are they scam or should I tell them what they ask for? Anita Dear Anita PayPal and Facebook already have all your data. They dont need some turdy spam to con it out of you. I got those scam-spam letters too, saw them in Mailwasher, already flagged for deleting. I thought it was rather hilarious that you were supposed to send your street address to fundoffice.internationalmonetary@yahoo.com @yahoo.com ! Just have a quick laugh and dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby

One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her six year old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room. When she went in at 5 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It read, "My name is Daniel." --------------------- They usually just do that with serious head injuries and brain surgery, but some nurses can get quite carried away. I remember one who insisted on writing her name and the time of each check onto the sole of my right foot with a fine point ball pen. And when she ran out of space, she continued on my left foot. I tell ya, that can wake a guy out of the most cozy coma!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Trevor: DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE [Or, "Welcome to my life."] * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you. * Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire. * The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam. * Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long. * 23 power cords - 1 outlet. * The carpet has been there since 1976 (or before) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers. * If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you." * You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone. * When you kill a fly with your 16 inch plastic ruler, a dozen people dial 911 to report the shooting. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Get Firewood Now, Don't Wait for Winter You can save money on firewood by getting it in early summer and late spring. For starters, you pay a premium the closer you get to cold weather. And, you don't have to limit yourself to buying firewood that is completely dry, it will cure over the summer months and be ready to burn when you need it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?" __________________________________________________
Strange growing rocks in Romania.
NEWS FLASH! - Brian/College Station's worst disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." ____________________________________________________

Today, November 9, in 
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to
see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign
trip by a U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would
abdicate. He then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German
troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The
event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took
control of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders
at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other
labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial
Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews,
and rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that
became known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major
league baseball did not come within the scope of federal
antitrust laws. 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states
and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo
spacecraft blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful
test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called
upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay."
Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week
Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman
were also involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion
loan to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard
came out of retirement to fight one more time before
becoming a boxing commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London,
appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt,
and asked British businesses to invest. 

2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened
Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to
pedestrians.

2017  smiled.


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Shutter delay on cameras 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 8

Thank you, Joseph!

I gave up my Business account with Telus. $180 a month for a
lousy 15 mbps, that they kept throttling down to 10, was not
justified. So I dropped the business account and got a plain
Jane home account for half the cost and 25 Mbps.
They said it would take 3 hours for the installation. Well,
a guy who looked about my age, came in, swapped the modem
and I was running at 25 Mbps. 15 minute job.

I had to re-establish the home network, but that was not a
big deal. 

I should have made the switch a long time ago!

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
3 arrewsted for selling heroin from school bus
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 8 in
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
reported the scientific principle involved. He took the
first X-ray pictures, of his hand. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. --- Quentin Crisp Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them. --- Ralph Gerard The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. --- Dudley Moore (1935 - 2002) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Mary for this story: An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter,"Want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day." ______________________________________________________ Newfoundland _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Barb for this classic: Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rudencia Montes, 43, Juan Miranda-Ortiz, 33, Corrine Gentile, 33, Framingham, Massawhosits Heroin dealing from school bus, 3 arrests The driver of a van that transports special needs students to schools in Massachusetts allowed her boyfriend to sell drugs out of vehicle, according to authorities. Rudencia Montes, 43, a driver for an educational nonprofit for special needs students, was arrested on Friday after an officer witnesses a drug deal involving the van she was driving, Framingham Police told Boston 25 News. Montes was driving a white minivan that had a school sign on the roof when she turned into a park parking lot and another car pulled up next to the van, police said. The driver of the car, Corrine Gentile, 33, was seen by an officer completing a drug deal with the passenger of the van, Juan Miranda-Ortiz, 33, Framingham police spokeswoman Patricia Grigas told Boston 25 News. When police pulled over Gentile, they found an envelope containing two packets of heroin, authorities said. A subsequent traffic stop of Montes revealed an envelope inside the van that matched the one found earlier in Gentile's car, according to police. Montes and Miranda-Ortiz were charged with distributing heroin, conspiracy to violate the state's drug laws and a park zone violation, while Gentile was charged with possession of heroin and conspiracy to commit a crime. he educational nonprofit Montes drove for, Accept Education Collaborative, said it fired the 43-year-old after her arrest Friday. A spokesperson said no students were present or involved in the alleged drug deal. “We take these matters very seriously. The safety of our students is our No. 1 concern," Executive Director Marcia Berkowitz told Boston 25 News in a statement. At a court appearance on Monday, Montes was held on $5,000 bail; Miranda-Ortiz was held on $25,000 bail; and Gentile was released on $200 bail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Art Re: Shutter Delay Dear Webby, Dear Webby, My digital camera, a fairly expensive Kodak, has this very annoying delay between clicking a picture and it actually taking it. It seems totally useless for action shots. Am I doing something wrong? Art Dear Art All digital cameras have SOME shutter delay. However, just like a Porsche takes off a lot faster than a farm tractor, that costs exactly the same amount of money, there is a very noticeable difference between different cameras. The quick action on my good old Canon Powershot was one of the major reasons for selecting it. When I need absolutely instant action, I line up an approximate shot and depress the shutter half way, to lock in the settings. Then when the bird is in the zoom center, I sqeeze the shutter all the way down and the picture is perfect. With cameras, that have a slower computer, you have to lead the same way as with a shotgun, and click before the action happens. Then it can slowly measure the distance and brightness and contrast, and adjust everything accordingly. Have FUN! DearWebby

Thanks to Roland for this story: A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son." "Oh, that's ok," he said. "I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy." The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled. Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day, the man went to pay for his groceries. "That'll be 105 dollars," said the clerk. "How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things!" "Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for hers."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our 28-member family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" my brother asked. "There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Paint Off Hinges It can be difficult to put masking tape on hinges to keep paint off them. Instead, cover them with petroleum jelly. Any paint that gets on them will be easy to wipe off, even after the paint dries. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ When my sister's husband died, she went to the bank to put his affairs in order. The young clerk looked up their joint account and then asked, "Which of you is deceased?" __________________________________________________
Strange growing rocks in Romania.
From Zilla It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Dear Webby I love the delightful potpourri of humor and tips you send me every morning, and am grateful for your dilligent work! Margo ____________________________________________________

Today, November 8, in 
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for
the first time. 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis.
The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of
exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 

1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the
first X-ray pictures. 

1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 

1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known
as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." He was sent to jail for that,
where he wrote his "Mein Kampf".

1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The
organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4
million unemployed people in the U.S. 

1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 

1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa. 

1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle
took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down
a North Korean MiG-15. 

1954 The American League approved the transfer of the
Philadelphia Athletics baseball team to Kansas City, MO. 

1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry
Ford's only son. The socialist media did not approve.

1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 

1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary,
but it evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 

1979 U.S. Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Mac Mathias (R-MD)
introduced legislation to provide a site on the National
Mall for the building of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 

1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in
California announced that they had discovered a 15th moon
orbiting the planet Saturn. 

1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt
was "an African State" that was "neither East nor West". 

1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon
was delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco,
David Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to
negotiate a release. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000
soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 

1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic
sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan
civil war. 

1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence. 

1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen
from the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The
works were valued at $52 million. 

1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make
way for the Three Gorges Dam. 

2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the
winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 

2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his
final report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in
the 1993 seige of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 

2009 The game Angry Birds Star Wars was released. 

2017  smiled.


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