Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 1, 2010

The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless.
--- Paul Johnson


Thanks to Sandie for this Classic:
At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if 
anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for 
answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, 
"I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a 
terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. 
The pain was terrible and the doctors didn't know if they could 
help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the 
congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must 
have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, 
"and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as 
the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted 
for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece 
together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap 
wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed 
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was 
performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, 
after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors 
say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief.

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had 
something to  say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the 
podium.

He said, "I'm Tom."

The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell you 
that my wife meant to use the word sternum."


After the last child moved out of the house, Mom and Dad
announce that they're getting a divorce. The kids are totally
distraught and pay for a session with the world's most famous
marriage counselor as a last effort at keeping their parents
together.

The counselor works for hours, tries all of his methods, but
the couple still won't even talk to each other.
Finally he goes over to a closet, brings out a beautiful
violin and begins to play. After a minute, the couple start
talking. The therapist keeps soloing on the violin and the
couple discover that they're not actually that far apart and
decide to give their marriage another try.

The kids are amazed and ask the doctor how he managed to
do it. He replies, "Well, I've never yet seen a couple that
wouldn't talk through a violin solo."


Thanks to Joan for sending this picture:


No, that is not Joan on the picture. She clipped
it from a PPS.

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a couple in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Thieves take jewelry, leave child at Philadelphia store
A couple of thieves made off with expensive jewelry during 
a heist on South Street yesterday afternoon, but had a loss 
police said was priceless. As the duo fled, they left a 
4-year-old boy behind, said Sgt. Ray Evers, a Philadelphia 
police spokesman.

The three entered Platinum & Ice Jewelry in the 600 block 
of South Street about 3:30 p.m. and the man and woman 
asked to see rings, police said. When the clerk turned his 
back for a moment, the couple grabbed thousands of dollars 
worth of jewelry and dashed out the door. The clerk gave 
chase and the male robber slashed him in the face and neck 
with a knife. 

The boy was left behind. Police put the boy in the 
custody of the Department of Human Services.

Boy left behind in robbery.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Mary
Re: Copying files from old computer

Dear Dr.Webby, I wrote to you a while ago & I didn't get 
an answer. How can I get my personal pictures off of my 
old computer & onto my new one.
I truly love your newsletter & you sure have helped in 
the past.
Thank you so very much.
Mary
 
Dear Mary
I remember answering you. Possibly your AOL blocked my
reply.

If your computers are not networked, and if you don't have a 
CD burner on the old one, then your best bet is to take the hard 
drive out of the old one, buy a USB Removeable Hard Drive Case 
for it for $10 - $15 and stick the old drive into it.

When you plug the USB drive into any USB port on the new 
computer, the old drive shows up as a second drive.

If there is a little jumper on the back of the old drive, 
usually by the plug-in sockets and a label telling you in 
which position the jumper has to be for the drive to be 
a "Slave"  instead of a "Master", then move it to the 
"Slave" position. If you don't see that jumper and label, 
don't worry about it. Some sense that automatically.

When you plug it into the USB port, it will show up as a 
second hard drive, and you can drag stuff from it to your 
C: drive as easily as dragging stuff from one folder to 
another.

Just open two file explorer windows side by side. Browse 
one to the C: drive, and the other to the removable drive. 
That makes dragging the files a breeze.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Marcy called to make flight reservations: "I want to go from
Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York."
The travel agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent
said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, of course I am sure! What flights do you have?" replied
the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."

The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows
where it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?"
"That's close enough! I knew it was a big animal!"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use an Indoor Clothes Line
I live in Tennessee where TVA, our electric supplier, has 
raised our electric bills 30% in one month. I have started 
really trying to be more frugal. I purchased a indoor clothes 
line and strung it up in my basement. I bought it off eBay 
for $25.00, and it will hold 2 loads of laundry. It usually 
dries in less than one day. With a family of five, I do at 
least 1 load per day, I know this will help with my electric bill.

Not everyone has a basement, so why not use one in a 
room in your home where you don't actually live, like a 
spare bedroom. You could put the clothes line in the closet 
and retract the line when not in use. My retractable line is 
the diameter of a paper plate and maybe 5 inches wide.

In one week I was able to hang 7 loads of laundry on my 
line. Some loads were jeans which would have required more 
than one run on the dryer. I never waited more than 14-16 
hours of dry time. Also, I forgot to add, my basement isn't 
heated or cooled. Hope this helps someone.

By Karen M. from Greeneville, TN
Excellent idea! I use a clothesline too, 
from my covered deck to the garage, with a large pulley 
on each side. I can stand nice and dry on the deck, hang
the clothes and scoot the line out into the rain for an 
extra soft rinse.

Clothes last a lot longer too, if you don't use a dryer to rip
the lint out of them.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
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Thanks to Ellie for this one:
My father, in the hospital after surgery to repair a
hip replacement, needed assistance to get on and off
the toilet and the bedpan. 89 years old, he was also
extremely modest and had a tough time dealing with
the matter-of-fact ways nursing personnel dealt with
bodily functions.

One time two aides put him on the bedpan and stood by
the bed waiting for him to finish. He looked at them
and said. "It'll cost you a quarter to watch."

Another time an aide put him on the toilet and left.
When she came back about 5 minutes later, she asked
if he was done yet. He looked at her in all
seriousness and asked, "Why, do you need to use it?"


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Bo was telling the little ones of how it was when
he was a young boy in Brooklyn, in Manhattan's
immigrant ghetto.

"When I was a kid," he said, "we didn't even have a
radio. So our dad bored a hole through the wall into
the living room of the Irish couple in the next apartment,
to hear all the great boxing fights.

That's when we discovered that they didn't have a radio
either, and the fights we heard through the wall were live."






 »  Olympic Village


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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com