Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, April 18

Today, April 18 in
1978 The U.S. Senate approved the transfer of the 
Panama Canal to Panama on December 31, 1999.
 More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: Mother, daughter tackle armed burglar in Granite Bay break-in ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. --- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ) Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. --- Robert Byrne _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: All of his life, Len had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they'd walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink. So, when Len's 21st birthday came around, he and his friend, Corky, took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Len stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Corky just managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Len went to see his grandmother. "Grandma, it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father and his father before him?" Granny looked Len straight in the eyes and said, "Because your father, grandfather and great- grandfather were born in January. You were born in July." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Holesapple, 20, GRANITE BAY, California. Mother, daughter tackle armed burglar in Granite Bay break-in A burglary suspect was arrested after a woman and her daughter chased him away as they saw him step out of their Granite Bay home, the Placer County Sheriff's Office said Friday. Richard Holesapple, 20, was taken into custody last week as he tried to hide from investigators, the sheriff's office said. The incident began around 11 p.m. on April 5 when the woman was driving home and saw her suitcases on the side of the road. She got out of her car, opened the suitcases and found items from her home. As she drove closer to her home, the woman saw her trash can was brought to the end of the driveway. Inside the trash, she found her husband's rifles. The sheriff's office said moments later, Holesapple walked out of the woman's home and quickly tried to hide. The woman then started chasing Holesapple, the sheriff's office said. During the chase, the woman's daughter was driving home and saw her mother chasing Holesapple, officials said. "She quickly got out of her car and helped her mom tackle Holesapple to the ground," sheriff's office spokesperson Angela Musallam said. "There was a struggle for a little bit, Holesapple was able to break free and run away." Another neighbor, who did not want to be identified, said Holesapple stopped by her house first. "He apparently rang my doorbell, trying to see if anyone was home," the neighbor said. When she checked her security footage, "his face was just right there in the camera," the neighbor said. After searching her home, the woman found that her firearm was missing. She also found Holesapple backpack, which had his ID inside. "He gave himself away. Why would you leave your backpack with your ID in the victim's house?" Musallam said. Deputies set up a perimeter to search for Holesapple. Residents were told to shelter in place. "We got it on our phone first," neighbor Lorraine Munoz said. "They alerted us. So, we locked all our windows and doors and everything." Munoz said they were alerted by a loudspeaker about a half hour later. "The helicopters came, and you could hear them very clearly telling you to stay inside and lock the doors, there was an armed robber around here," Munoz recalled. A few hours later, Holesapple was spotted by a neighbor trying to hide, the sheriff's office said. Deputies then found him in a nearby field and took him into custody. A K-9 later found the stolen firearm near the woman's home, the sheriff's office said. Holesapple was booked into Placer County Jail of charges of burglary, committing a secondary offense while out on bail for a separate Placer County case involving identity theft, being a convicted felon in possession of a firearm and possession of a switchblade knife, the sheriff's office said. His bail is set at $615,000.
From: Trish Re: JPG versus JPEG Dear DearWebby Very short ask of you this time, it's what's the difference between JPG and JPEG. Might be interesting to all your other 'devout' readers too as some of them may be as "unschooled" in 'tech terms' as I am. I do know that I have read what jpg etc means but hasn't registered, just want to know the difference and which or what I should 'save as'. Regards to you and yours, thinking your dad will be hiking all about as the weather should be quite nice in his part of the world now, freezing here (well to me it is). Regards Trish Dear Trish There is no difference. JPEG stands for Joint Photographic Experts Group, the group that originally wrote the standard for JPG. In the early days of computing, the UNIX world arbitrarily settled on 3 letter extensions, since the other, older graphics format: GIF also had 3 letters. The Mac side wanted to be snooty and different, and used the 4 letter JPEG extension. The net originally was strictly UNIX, so JPG took hold and all software recognizes it, but nowadays most software also accepts the long 4 letter extension. It's just a matter of being snooty and wanting to appear different, like some women demanding to be addressed as Ms, not as Miss or Mrs. Well, I don't have time for a Ms, and I don't waste typing effort on a 4 letter name for a file, that works just fine when I call it jpg. If your browser wants to save a file as jpg, even though some Ms may have called it jpeg before, let it. The time to worry is when your browser tries to save a file as BMP. That is the crude Windows Bitmap from the barefoot DOS days, that Windows shifts down to when it is just about crashed or doesn't have enough free memory to do things right. When you see it trying to save a file as BMP, quickly save everything that is open and close what is not absolutely necessary, then run CrapCleaner. After that it will save the file properly as JPG. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A cleric found himself wondering whether there were any golf courses in Heaven. He even began to ask the question in his prayers. One day, in answer to his prayers, he received a direct answer from on high. "Yes," said the Heavenly messenger, "There are many excellent golf courses in Heaven. The greens are always in first class condition, the weather is always perfect and you always get to play with the very nicest people." "Oh, thank you," said the cleric, "That really is marvelous news." "Yes, isn't it?" replied the messenger, "And we have you scheduled for a foursome next Saturday."
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Waiting in a long, slow-moving line for security clearance at the Calgary International Airport in Canada, I was annoyed to hear a loud male voice behind me. "Excuse me, excuse me," said the man as he pushed his way to the front. "I want to make sure I get a good seat." I resolved not to let this line-jumper get ahead of me. When I felt a tap on my shoulder, I whirled around, prepared to unleash a verbal assault that he would never forget . . . but found myself face to face with a smiling pilot. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Herbal Tea Facial Steamer Boil 1/2 quart of water. Then put two chamomile tea bags (or a handful of dried chamomile flowers) in a bowl and pour the boiling water over them. Put one towel under the bowl and another over your head. Lean over the bowl and breath in the chamomile for 5-10 minutes. If it gets too hot, let steam escape by lifting up the towel. ____________________________________________________
Lip sync to Patsy Cline's "She's Got You" at a high school reunion.
___________________________________________________ Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight. "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f," I wrote. "In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your Microsoft program." A minute later came his reply: "Must be dephective." ___________________________________________________ I served with a guy who did a strange thing: He bounced an imaginary basketball wherever he went. Eventually, a psychiatrist labeled him unfit for duty, which led to a medical discharge. After the proceedings, he addressed the officer in charge. "Sir, may I approach?" With permission granted, he went through the motion of putting something on the officer's desk. "What is this?" asked the officer. "My basketball. I don't need it anymore." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Linda for this confession: One night at a Japanese restaurant I was intrigued by some Japanese writing on the side of one page in the menu. So I copied it onto the napkin and the next time I felt like embroidering, I stitched it onto an otherwise rather boring turtleneck. This Friday I wore it at a company dinner. While out on the balcony for an after dinner smoke, a Japanese gent approached me and asked me, if I knew what that writing said. I told him it was like an inside out fortune cookie and that I had no clue. He told me it said: "Pretty good but really cheap!" ___________________________________________________

Today April 18 in
1521 Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V in the Diet
of Worms and refused to retract his views that led to his

1676 Sudbury, Massachusetts, was attacked by Indians. 

1775 American revolutionaries Paul Revere, William Dawes and
Samuel Prescott rode though the towns of Massachusetts giving the
warning that the Regulars were coming out. Later, the phrase "the
British are coming" was attributed to Revere even though it is
unlikely he used that wording. 

1791 National Guardsmen prevented Louis XVI and his family from
leaving Paris. 

1818 A regiment of Indians and blacks were defeated at the Battle
of Suwann, in Florida, ending the first Seminole War. 

1846 The telegraph ticker was patented by R.E. House 

1847 U.S. troops defeated almost 17,000 Mexican soldiers
commanded by Santa Anna at Cerro Gordo. (Mexican-American War) 

1853 The first train in Asia began running from Bombay to Tanna. 

1861 Colonel Robert E. Lee turned down an offer to command the
Union armies during the U.S. Civil War. 

1877 Charles Cros wrote a paper that described the process of
recording and reproducing sound. In France, Cros is regarded as
the inventor of the phonograph. In the U.S., Thomas Edison gets
the credit. 

1895 New York State passed an act that established free public

1906 San Francisco, CA, was hit with an earthquake. The original
death toll was cited at about 700. Later information indicated
that the death toll may have been 3 to 4 times the original

1910 Walter R. Brookins made the first airplane flight at night. 

1924 Simon and Schuster, Inc. published the first "Crossword
Puzzle Book." 

1934 The first Laundromat opened in Fort Worth, TX. 

1937 Leon Trotsky called for the overthrow of Soviet leader Josef

1938 Superman made his debut when he appeared in the first issue
of Action Comics. (Cover date June 1938) 

1942 James H. Doolittle and his squadron, from the USS Hornet,
raided Tokyo and other Japanese cities. 

1942 The Vichy government capitulated to Adolf Hitler and invited
Pierre Laval to form a new government in France.

1943 Traveling in a bomber, Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto,
was shot down by American P-38 fighters. 

1945 American war correspondent Ernie Pyle was killed by Japanese
gunfire on the Pacific island of Ie Shima, off Okinawa. He was 44
years old. 

1946 The League of Nations was dissolved. 

1949 The Republic of Ireland was established. 

1950 The first transatlantic jet passenger trip was completed. 

1954 Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser seized power in Egypt. 

1956 Actress Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier of Monaco were
married. The religious ceremony took place April 19. 

1960 The Mutual Broadcasting System was sold to the 3M Company of
Minnesota for $1.25 million. 

1978 The U.S. Senate approved the transfer of the Panama Canal to
Panama on December 31, 1999. 

1980 Rhodesia became the independent nation of Zimbabwe. 

1983 The U.S. Embassy in Beirut was blown up by a suicide car-
bomber. 63 people were killed including 17 Americans. 

1984 Daredevils Mike MacCarthy and Amanda Tucker made a sky dive
from the Eiffel Tower. The jump ended safely. 

1985 Ted Turner filed for a hostile takeover of CBS. 

1985 Tulane University abolished its 72-year-old basketball
program. The reason was charges of fixed games, drug abuse, and
payments to players. 

1989 Thousands of Chinese students demanding democracy tried to
storm Communist Party headquarters in Beijing. 

1999 Wayne Gretzky (New York Rangers) played his final game in
the NHL. He retired as the NHL's all-time leading scorer and
holder of 61 individual records. 

2002 The Amtrack Auto Train derailed in a remote area of north
Florida. Four people were killed and 133 were injured. 

2002 The city legislature of Berlin decided to make Marlene
Dietrich an honorary citizen. Dietrich had gone to the United
States in 1930. She refused to return to Germany after Adolf
Hitler came to power. 

2019  smiled.

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