Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, ! Today is Sunday, Sept 24 ___________________________________________________ Q The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Paedophile who groomed and raped girl in Hackney jailed for 28 years ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 24, in 1960, The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. ____________________________________________________ A hot shot East Coast newspaper reporter was on assignment in Arkansas, when he struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar. After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed. "Say, how old are you anyway?" the reporter asked as the obviously young lass was disrobing. "Thirteen," she replied with a shy smile. "Thirteen ??? My God, girl !!! You get those clothes back on at once at get the hell outta here ! Are you crazy ?" he thundered. Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphet smiled and said, "Superstitious, huh ?" __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother." ___________________________________________________ A senator is visiting a primary school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," the Senator says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside ... that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains the Senator. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer. "What?" asks the Senator, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying a Senator was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy." "Marvelous!" the Senator beams. "And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!" __________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Wanda Re: Screen is sideways Dear Webby, I accidentally bumped my computer screen and it flipped it sideways. How do I get it to go straight again? Wanda Dear Wanda Rotate Screen with a Keyboard Shortcut Hit CTRL + ALT + Up Arrow and your Windows desktop should return to landscape mode. You can rotate the screen to portrait or upside-down landscape, by hitting CTRL + ALT + Left Arrow, Right Arrow or Down arrow. Keep in mind that Microsoft is NOT consistent. You might have to go at it through the Cpntrol Panel. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ A large sinkhole opens up on a remote town. An alarming number of people fall into it and injure themselves and it's difficult to get them all to the small hospital they have. The mayor gathers the city council to figure out a solution. The smartest city councilor suggests they park an ambulance next to the hole to get people to the hospital faster. The rest unanimously agree. However, they only have 2 ambulances and they're needed more in the center of the town to get there quickly. So the mayor gathers the council a second time. The second smartest councilor suggests they close the road between the hole and the hospital so the ambulance can ferry people faster. Everyone nods in deep wisdom. Alas, after a few days it's obviously not really doing much and it just creates more accidents with too many cars on the smaller roads. Finally they gather for a third time to take drastic measures. The third smartest councilor says they need to tear down the hospital and rebuild it next to the hole. Finally the mayor can't take it anymore. He slams his fist on the table and yells: "You idiots! Do you know how much moving the hospital will cost?! There's an obvious and easy solution to this problem! We fill in the hole and then we dig a new one next to the hospital!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ DEFINITION OF OUTDOOR BARBECUING It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion: (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer. (4) The man places the meat on the grill. (5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables. (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. (7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. (8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. (10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women. _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Anthony Maina, 52, Hackney, Stoke Newington, England Paedophile who groomed and raped girl in Hackney jailed for 28 years A “vile” paedophile who groomed and raped a young girl in Hackney has been jailed for 28 years. Anthony Maina, 52, of Allen Road, Stoke Newington, was sentenced at Wood Green Crown Court on Thursday, after being found guilty of 17 offences, including seven counts of rape. The court heard how Maina exploited a position of trust to groom the girl, buying her gifts, clothing, food and mobile phones in a bid to normalise the abuse he was carrying out. He referred to the victim as “his girl” and his “best friend in the universe”, and would regularly accuse her of having “neglected” him if she did not maintain contact. Maina would isolate her from all of those around her to knock away at her confidence to prevent her from questioning what he was doing. He would ask the survivor to come to his property under false pretences, such as to receive a parcel or let some workmen in, and would then abuse her. When she began to challenge this, he would suggest to her other family members she was being unhelpful, to in effect force her to come to his property. Investigating officer Met Detective Constable Stefan Wimmer said Maina’s crimes were some of the most “vile and despicable psychological manipulation and sexual abuse I have ever encountered. “It is sickening to think that individuals like Maina exist,” he said. The girl went to her local police station in December 2018 to report the sexual abuse she was subjected to and an investigation was launched. DC Wimmer said: “Maina did not show a flicker of remorse over the course of the investigation, and tried to claim in interview the survivor was merely a ‘troublemaker’ in an attempt to discredit her. “The survivor, on the other hand, has shown an immense amount of patience, courage and resolve since the moment she came to police and I have nothing but admiration for her. “It is because of her bravery in coming forward and assisting police that Maina is behind bars. I hope that the sentence provides her with some solace, and that in time she can put this horrific episode of her life behind her.” _____________________________________________________ Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little Copperhead snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he_ snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms. __________________________________________________ When you want a man to play with you, wear a full-length black nightgown with buttons all over it. Sure it's uncomfortable. But it makes you look just like his remote control. __________________________________________________ History 1789, The U.S. Congress passed the First Judiciary Act. The act provided for an Attorney General and a lower federal court. 1869, Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 1915, "The Lamb," Douglas Fairbanks first film, was shown at the Knickerbocker Theater in New York City, NY. 1929, The first all-instrument flight took place in New York when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 1933, "Roses and Drums" was heard on WABC in New York City. It was the first dramatic presentation for radio. 1955, U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower suffered a heart attack while on vacation in Denver, CO. 1957, U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 1960, The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 1963, The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the Soviet Union. 1995, Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 1996, The United States, represented by President Clinton, and the world's other major nuclear powers signed a Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and development of nuclear weapons. 1998, The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation $2 billion in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 2001, U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 27 suspected terrorists and terrorist groups. 2023, ! smiled. Have FUN DearWebby

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