Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Again voted Best Newsletter
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and is available in regular HTML and large font HTML for vision impaired readers. The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a server that has a Listed Sender ID, proper SPF record, and matching forward and reverse DNS. It has an approved privacy policy and full contact information. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is strictly Double Opt-In and is not on any blacklist. No advertising mails are sent from this address or IP number. If you are not receiving your subscription, click here.
Return to Webby homepage Hosting | Software | Contacts | Privacy Policy | About You have a friend @Webby!
High traffic web space on reliable UNIX and Linux servers with the fastest connectivity.
LARGE FONT VERSION    Subscribe    |  Unsubscribe
The large font section has been split off into a separate newsletter.
Click on Subscribe to subscribe to it.
To write to me:

Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, February 26
Today, February 26 in 
1986 Corazon Aquino was inaugurated president of the
Philippines. Long time President Ferdinand Marcos went into

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award: Man stole bike to mark 4 months clean __________________________________________ Three guys, one Newfie, one Quebecois, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total," says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye "poof" the oceans were teaming with fish. The Quebecker was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Quebec, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye "poof" there was a huge wall around England. The Newfie asks, "I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting Quebec so that nothing can get in or out." The Newfie says, "Please Fill it up with screech and put a tap right HERE!" __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: __________________________________________ A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a DARWIN AWARD has been earned by

Man stole bike to mark 4 months clean

Jackson Hanley, 29, Mesa, Arizona An Arizona man arrested for allegedly stealing a motorcycle from a Kawasaki dealership told police he was “celebrating 4 months of sobriety and decided he wanted” a chopper, according to court records. Investigators say that Jackson Hanley, 29, was actually intoxicated when he walked into a Mesa dealership earlier this month and “grabbed a Kawasaki motorcycle and began pushing it down the street.” Hanley, who rode his bicycle to Kelly’s Kawasaki, had his theft bid thwarted when a customer alerted an employee that a crime was in progress. Police were then summoned and Hanley was located about a mile away. “The defendant,” a cop noted, was found “resting on a fence with the bike slightly tipped over but still upright.” Hanley, cops say, “admitted to stealing the motorcycle. He said he was celebrating 4 months of sobriety and decided he wanted a motorcycle.” Hanley reportedly said he was “going to walk it back home and try and start it there.” Seen above, Hanley “was admittedly drunk” due to his consumption of vodka and Moscato wine, according to a probable cause statement. The Kawasaki suffered $3500 in damages to its exhaust due to the way “the motorcycle was leaning against the asphalt” when it was recovered by police. Hanley was charged with felony theft in connection with the February 11 incident.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Revo UNinstaller Dear Webby I use revo al the time. not figure out their target remover gun site mode.but i even donate to them. ie i use it all the time.but think the paid version was too goofy.and went back to an older Windows 7 free edition.but the key thing to watch is that the targeted system may have its own uninstaller that launches when REVO is run. then may say to reboot to get rid of a few files that running. DO NOT ReBoot!!!go find the still running REVO screen and complete its purge of folders and registry entries. Then do a reboot whenever.and never use on an Anti Virus. go to the AV site and run their specialprogram to do that function.and user still must use CCleaner to check for goofy jobs in Start Up -and in the two Program Files, and Common files folders.also can look at disk with SEARCH EVERYTHING. Funny how they all their Uninstaller - REMOVE EVERYTHING. And REVO has a nice tool bar of handy Windows tools. Side bar stuff too.cheers ,moe Dear Moe I agree 100%. For the few out there in the cold, who don't have REVO yet, here is the link again: REVO Uninstaller Have FUN! DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
This Is Your Internet 54

 From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to
15 were
 asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."

 I believe you should live each day as if it is your last,
which is
 why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who
wants to
 wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15

 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace
to accept
 the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13

 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the
president's birthday,
 like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a
lot of people
 voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just
for the long
 weekends. --Age 8

 Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about
 just any ol' person vote. --Age 10

 Home is where the house is. --Age 6

 I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer
as some
 people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he
 --Age 15

 For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green
cheese. Then
 the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard
rock. That's
 what happens to cheese when you leave it out. --Age 6

 My younger brother asked me what happens after we die. I
told him we
 get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.
I guess I
 should have told him the truth--that most of us go to hell
and burn
 eternally-- but I didn't want to upset him. --Age 10

 I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to
myself, at
 which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I
imagine they
 appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate
over one's
 right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human
condition. I
 tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the
closest to
 Utopia, and I show him a copy of  the Constitution. I tell
 that we have found many more than four basic elements and I
show him a
 periodic table.  I get a box of kitchen matches and strike
one. They
 gasp with wonder.  We spend the rest of the night lighting
farts. --Age 15

 When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again.  But
he better have
 lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. --Age 5

 I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless
it was just
 a lawn mower. --Age 11

 I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I
imagine that
 the wet paint is a big fresh water lake that is the only
source of water
 for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier,
the population
 gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots.
 Once there was a big fire and everyone died. --Age 13

 As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set
aside a few
 minutes each day.  At the end of the year, you'll have a
couple of days
 saved up. --Age 7

 Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my
teacher. That
 is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15

 It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into
an accident.
 No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it,
the blood
 would be right there. --Age 5

 Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then,
imagine if you
 had that many Twinkies.  Wow, that's five more than the
biggest number
 you could come up with! --Age 6

 The only stupid question is the one that is never asked,
except maybe
 "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?"
or "Isn't it
 morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was
 --Age 15

 Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who
had no feet.
 So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed
them, right?
 -Age 15

 If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and
visualize world
 peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be
until the
 looting started. --Age 15


This letter was sent in response to Dr Laura's claim that
homosexuality is an abomination because it's against the

Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding
God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try
to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When
someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. That used to be the end of
debate! However, now that the pope is a homosexual and a
communist, it gets rather confusing. 

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some
specific law and how to best follow them as a true believer.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem
is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I
deal with this? Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it
suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she
is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24).
The problem is, how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but
most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations
that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to smite him myself or get him stoned?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is
an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree.  Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
prescription glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or
is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident that you can help. Thank you again for reminding
us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


After a two year-long study (at taxpayers expense), the
Department of Defense announced the following results on the
recreational preferences of military personnel:

1. The sport of choice for E-1, E-2 & E-3: Basketball.
2. The sport of choice for E- 4 & E-5: Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for E-6, E-7 & E-8: Football
4. The sport of choice for O-1, O-2 & O-3: Baseball or
5. The sport of choice for O-4, O-5 & O-6: Tennis
6. The sport of choice for 0-7 and above: is Golf.

Conclusion: the higher you are in the Chain of Command, the
smaller your balls become.

In the Pentagon they play with and frequently loose their
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today February 26 in

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from the Island of Elba. He
then began his second conquest of France.

1848 The second French Republic was proclaimed.

1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the National Currency

1870 In New York City, the first pneumatic-powered subway
line was opened to the public.

1881 S.S. Ceylon began its world-wide cruise, beginning in
Liverpool, England.

1907 The U.S. Congress raised their own pay to $7500.

1916 Mutual signed Charlie Chaplin to a film contract.

1919 In Arizona, the Grand Canyon was established as a
National Park with an act of the U.S. Congress.

1929 U.S. President Coolidge signed a bill creating the
Grand Teton National Park.

1930 New York City installed traffic lights.

1933 A ground-breaking ceremony was held at Crissy Field for
the Golden Gate Bridge.

1945 In the U.S., a nationwide midnight curfew went into

1952 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced that
Britain had developed an atomic bomb.

1979 "Flatbush" debuted on CBS-TV.

1986 Corazon Aquino was inaugurated president of the
Philippines. Long time President Ferdinand Marcos went into

1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein announced on Baghdad
Radio that Iraqi troops were being withdrawn from Kuwait.

1993 Six people were killed and more than a thousand injured
when a van exploded in the parking garage beneath the World
Trade Center in New York City. The bomb had been built by
Islamic extremists.

1995 Barings PLC collapsed after a securities dealer lost
more than $1.4 billion by gambling on Tokyo stock prices.
The company was Britain's oldest investment banking firm.

1998 A Texas jury rejected an $11 million lawsuit by Texas
cattlemen who blamed Oprah Winfrey for price drop after on-
air comment about mad-cow disease.

1998 In Oregon, a health panel ruled that taxpayers must
help to pay for doctor-assisted suicides.

2001 A U.N. tribunal convicted Bosnian Croat political
leader Dario Kordic and military commander Mario Cerkez of
war crimes. They had ordered the systematic murder and
persecution of Muslim civilians during the Bosnian war.

2002 In Rome, Italy, a bomb exploded near the Interior
Ministry. No injuries were reported.

2009 Former Serbian president Milan Milutinovic was
acquitted by the International Criminal Tribunal for the
former Yugoslavia regarding war crimes during the Kosovo

2009 The Pentagon reveresed its 18-year policy of not
allowing media to cover returning war dead. The reversal
allowsd some media coverage with family approval.

2020  smiled.

Go to TOP
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from

Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

The Archive is in the Dear Webby Humor Letter Blog.ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at

If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name
or your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend,
but don't have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the
first time, then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave
you a gift subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe
at You can also UNsubscribe there.

If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, please unsubscribe by
clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Large Font version with this address:

UNSUBSCRIBE from the Large Font version

Search the web for:
  Recommended Resources  
Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download
Find a human
Bypass voice menus

Web Tools

handy program downloads

Click here for a FREE
30 day trial

This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still
The Best
spam control

REVO UNinstaller

UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff.
Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster.

Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.

Babelfish Translator
Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters

Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE

This Undeleter will
easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery?

SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!

All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!

 Where is YOUR site? 
High  traffic hosting on UNIX servers Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.

Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!

Software for your own postcard  site
Postcard Site
You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder:

Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby

Click here to order YOUR ad  to be shown here

Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.

Find newsletters

Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue

That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Click here to order YOUR ad  to be shown here

Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season

Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras


NASA Multimedia Gallery
Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web

Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events

Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite

, Please Feed
Dear Webby!

Affordable web space
effective privacy policy Privacy Policy

Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters

Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters

Subscribe    |   Give a Gift Subscription    |   Unsubscribe