Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, June 16
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Today, June 16 in
1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit aboard the
Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was the first female
space traveler. 
 More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: 
Sex with a student nets Ohio teacher 
two-year sentence
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A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be
accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into
something he can understand.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
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Offerings had been down the past several Sundays and the 
preacher decided he had to do something to change the trend. 
The next Sunday, as the plate was being passed he said...

"Brothers and Sisters, I don't like to have to do this, 
but there is a man in the congregation who is having an 
affair with another parishioner's wife, and if there is not 
at least five dollars in the collection box, I will reveal his
name.

Later, as he counted the money he found 50 five dollar bills, 
and a two dollar bill with a note that read "Forever hold your
peace, 
I'll have that other three dollars before sundown.

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Apryl Patterson,
26,
St. Clairsville,
Ohio

Sex with a student nets teacher 
two-year sentence


ZANESVILLE - Despite a six-year recommendation by the state, a
former Foxfire teacher was sentenced to two years in prison for
having sex with one of her students.

Apryl Patterson, a 26-year-old intervention specialist, became
sexually involved with a 17-year-old male student in November
2017. Over the next five months, Patterson engaged in sexual
activity with the student on several occasions at her home in St.
Clairsville. 

Patterson admitted to having sex with him after the student told
his parents about the relationship.

According to Assistant Prosecutor Ron Welch, text messages were
recovered from Patterson's phone indicating that on at least one
occasion she purchased beer for herself and the student to
consume at her apartment where they engaged in sexual activity.

Patterson was placed on administrative leave immediately
following the April 29, 2018, complaint filed by the victim's
parents. She was instructed to have no contact with the victim.

Ignoring that instruction, Patterson attempted to make contact
with the student through an employee at the school, and her
employment was then terminated according to Welch.


DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: Wayne
Re: What is an eBook ?

Dear Webby
What exactly is an eBook? What do I need to read one?
Some eBooks say they have a warranty? Does that mean I can
read and copy one, and then get my money back?
Wayne

Dear Wayne
eBooks are just books or magazines or courses in downloadable
form. No trees are killed, and nothing is shipped by post or
courier.
You simply download the file.

Almost all eBooks are in PDF format to ensure that everybody
sees it in exactly the same way, no matter what kind of 
computer they have. To read them, you need a PDF reader
like Foxit or Adobe Reader. You can get those free in my tool 
box at http://webby.com/tools

You can read eBooks on your computer. There is no need to
print them out, though you certainly can. You can even copy
them onto your laptop or a CD. Giving a copy to a family
member or close friend is generally OK too, but uploading
it and selling it or giving it away, will land you in jail.

The warranty on eBooks is the same as on a newspaper dispenser.
If you don't receive it, you get your money back. 
But don't expect to get your money back, after you have read 
and possiby copied a newspaper or eBook. Newspaper dispensers
and eBook downloaders work in only one direction.

With eBooks, don't pre-judge it by the number of pages, any more
than you would Cliffs Notes. Quite often somebody has gone
through a LOT of work to condense a mountain of information
into a concise study guide that is short enough, so that it does
not surpass your attention span or overload you with 
unnecessary fillers, like paper books usually do. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
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Thanks to Susan for this report:
The students in my third grade class were bombarding me 
with questions about my newly pierced ears.

"Does the hole go all the way through?"

"Yes,"

"Did it hurt?"

"Just a little."

"Did they stick a needle through your ears?"

"No, they used a special gun."

Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out,

"You said, the hole went all the way through. You mean they
got both ears with one shot?
How far away did they stand?"



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




I had worked late, and my Labrador was so overjoyed to see 
me arrive home that he jumped up just as I leaned down. 
Our heads collided, and I sported an impressive shiner for 
several weeks. 

I had to repeat frequently to co-workers and friends how I 
came by it, and one day on the elevator, a secretary whom 
I hadn't seen for some time looked at my black eye and ex-
claimed, "My goodness, what happened to you?" 

"The dog did it," I wearily replied. 

A man standing next to us looked over at me and said 
knowingly, "Ahh, you must own a boxer." 

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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
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Cloudy Vases
If your flower vases have a cloudy look or a white film buildup
inside, try soaking them in white vinegar. It should remove the
film. Also try to clean and dry them as soon as possible after
using.
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There's a Real-Life Enchanted Forest and It's In Dartmoor, England 

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"Miss Johnson, I was just going over this letter you wrote.
Your typing is definitely improving. I see that there are only
six mistakes here."

"Why thank you, sir. I do feel as though I am getting better at
this part of my job."

"Now then, let's take a look at the second line."

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A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using
sign language.  He also noticed that the bartender was using
sign language to speak to them.

When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had
learned to use sign language.  The bartender explained that
these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign.
The man thought that was great.

A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the
group were waving their hands around very wildly.  The bartender
looked over and signed  "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and
threw the group out of the bar.

The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If
I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.


>From Rev Frank
Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a 
cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small-
town Ohio girl. While I was in seminary school, I had a 
temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The 
day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe 
too hard. 

With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse: 
"I never saw a cow until I met my wife." 

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Today, June 16 in
0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. 

1487 The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke. 

1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven Castle in
Scotland. 

1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of Ligny,
Netherlands. 

1858 In a speech in Springfield, IL, U.S. Senate candidate
Abraham Lincoln said the slavery issue had to be resolved. He
declared, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." 

1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller coaster
in America opened. 

1897 The U.S. government signed a treaty of annexation with
Hawaii. 

1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated. 

1904 The novel "Ulysses" by James Joyce took place. The main
character of the book was Leopold Bloom. 

1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg. 

1909 Glenn Hammond Curtiss sold his first airplane, the "Gold
Bug" to the New York Aeronautical Society for $5,000. 

1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first American helicopter
flight at College Park, MD. 

1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security pact. 

1932 The ban on Nazi storm troopers was lifted by the von Papen
government in Germany. 

1940 Marshal Henri-Philippe Petain became the prime minister of
the Vichy government of occupied France. 

1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the closure of
all German consulates in the United States. The deadline was set
as July 10. 

1952 "Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl" was published in the
United States.

1955 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to extend Selective
Service until 1959. 

1955 Pope Pius XII excommunicated Argentine President Juan Peron.
The ban was lifted eight years later. 

1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on President
Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was suppressed by the army.

1961 Rudolf Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union while in
Paris, traveling with the Leningrad Kirov Ballet. 

1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit aboard the
Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was the first female
space traveler. 

1972 Ulrike Meinhof was captured by West German police in
Hanover. She was co-founder of the Baader-Meinhof terrorist group
and the Red Army Faction.

1975 The Simonstown agreement on naval cooperation between
Britain and South Africa ended. The agreement was formally ended
by mutual agreement after 169 years. 

1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against the
South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as the
language for instruction in black schools. 

1977 Leonid Brezhnev was named the first Soviet president of the
USSR. He was the first person to hold the post of president and
Communist Party General Secretary. He replaced Nikolai Podgorny. 

1978 U.S. President Carter and Panamanian leader Omar Torrijos
ratified the Panama Canal treaties. 

1978 The film adaptation of "Grease" premiered in New York City. 

1980 The movie "The Blues Brothers" opened in Chicago, IL. 

1983 Yuri Andropov was elected chairman of the Presidium of the
Supreme Soviet. The position was the equivalent of president. 

1984 Wilson Ferreira Aldunate was arrested upon his return from
an eleven year exile. Aldunate had been a popular Uruguayan
opposition leader. 

1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush welcomed Russian President
Boris Yeltsin to a meeting in Washington, DC. The two agreed in
principle to reduce strategic weapon arsenals by about two-thirds
by the year 2003. 

1996 Russian voters had their first independent presidential
election. Boris Yeltsin was the winner after a run-off. 

1999 The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said that a 1992 federal
music piracy law does not prohibit a palm-sized device that can
download high-quality digital music files from the Internet and
play them at home. 

2000 U.S. federal regulators approved the merger of Bell Atlantic
and GTE Corp. The merger created the nation's largest local phone
company. 

2000 U.S. Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson reported that an
employee at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico had
discovered that two computer hard drives were missing. 

2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex
couples.

2019  smiled.