Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, August 20

Still smokeym and cold ash falling. Feels weird, like tiny drops of rain, that evaporate, before they hit the sidewalk, and don't leave a dark spot. Reminds me that we are lucky. We only have smoke and ash, on the other side of the Rockies they have 600 wild fires, most of them out of control. I sure feel sorry for those people!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award:
Police arrest man after third 
break-in in one week at same daycare

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Today, August 20 in
1741 Danish navigator Vitus Jonas Bering, sailing for the
Russian navy, discovered Alaska. 
Outsiders first discovered Alaska in 1741 when Danish
explorer Vitus Jonassen Bering sighted it on a voyage from
Siberia. Russian whalers and fur traders on Kodiak Island
established the first settlement in Alaska in 1784.
More of today in history at HIstory
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The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is
never any use to oneself.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive
and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
--- Thomas Szasz,
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Steve considers himself fairly strong, but was dismayed
that that he couldn't even lift the 35 pound barbell in the
Sporting Goods area.  He tried but just simply couldn't
lift it.  So he tried the 15 pound bar. He still couldn't
budge it and looked quite depressed about his own physical
strength.

I have never done any weight lifting, but after spending
many years in the bush and in mines, those silly toys
looked like no problem at all. So I grabbed one and yanked
it up with a good tug, - and knocked the display over.
OOOPS!

That's when we realized they had been epoxied onto the
shelves.

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Thanks to María Guadalupe for this story: 

Two Mexicans are riding along Pacific Coast Highway on a
motorcycle. They break down and start hitching a lift. A
friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the
Mexicans ask him for a lift. 

He tells them he has no room in as he is carrying 20,000
bowling balls. 

The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage
to fit in the back with their bike will he take them and he
agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their
motorbike into the back of the trailer, so the driver shuts
the doors and gets on his way. By this time he is really
late and so puts his foot down. 

Sure enough the Highway Patrol pulls him over for speeding.
The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to
which he replies jokingly-- "Mexican eggs". 

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to
take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it
and locks it. He gets on his radio and calls for immediate
backup from as many officers as possible. 

The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so
many officers. "I've got a Tractor-trailer here with 20,000
Mexican eggs in it - 2 have hatched and they have already
managed to steal a motorcycle. 

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A woman loses both ears in an accident. A plastic surgeon
she consults tells her that ear transplants are still in
the testing stage, but he will do what he can. The woman
undergoes the operation, and after a time she returns to
the surgeon's office to have the bandages removed and the
stitches taken out.

After examining her, the doctor tells her everything seems
to have gone well, and she seems pleased with his work. The
next day, however, she calls the plastic surgeon in a rage.


"You know what you did?" she screams. "You gave me a man's
ears." 

"Well," says the surgeon, "an ear is an ear. What's wrong?
Can't you hear?" 

"I hear everything," she says. "The problem is I don't
understand anything I'm told." 

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Liddell McGrier,
43,
Jacksonville,
Florida


Police arrest man after third 
break-in in one week at same daycare

A man is facing charges after officers found him hiding in
the ceiling of a Jacksonville day care.

Taki Starkes-Parrish said she had just left Juzt Kidz
Learning Center on Winton Road Sunday when she got a call
from her security company.

Taki Starkes-Parrish, Owner

The company told her there was an unauthorized entry to her
day care – for the third time in a week.
The suspected burglar – 43-year-old Liddell McGrier – was
still there when she and police got there.
Officers surrounded the building and found him inside the
attic.

“He had literally punched a hole in the ceiling, climbed
into it some type of way,” Starkes-Parrish said.

They could literally see the insulation going up and down,
up and down. Guess he was breathing hard.”

Starkes-Parrish said Mcgrier fell through the ceiling as
officers tried to escort him out of the attic.

“It’s a great deal of damages,” she said. “You can see
insulation, you can see sheet rock all on the floor.”

McGrier is facing a burglary charge. Starkes-Parrish said
she believes he’s behind two other break-ins at the
daycare.

A computer, food and paper goods were stolen. Starkes-
Parrish said the burglar or burglars also made sandwiches
during the break-ins.

“If you were hungry, I mean really, we would’ve fed you,”
she said.

She said she is grateful to the officers who arrested him.

“To go up in a dark attic and look for a criminal who
could’ve actually had a gun, could’ve had a knife. They put
themselves in harm's way and I’m just really grateful.”



From: Jerry
Re: Multi-Plug-In unit

Dear Webby
First of all, thanx for offering the large type option to
those of us who are superannuated.
I go back to the days when your connections to accessories
(printers, scanners, etc.) and you had many sizes and
fittings.
My Dell (surprise) has only a few ports for my accessories.
Is there a multi-plug unit available so I can keep my
connectors in one place?
Thank you
Jerry


Dear Jerry
Yes, there sure is.
There are some, rather expensive, docking stations still
qavailable from the days when we had serial and parallel
ports and things like that. 
Nowadays everything connects via USB ports. All you need is
one or two USB hubs, and maybe a USB extension cord.

Plug the USB extension cord into the computer and bring it
up to the monitor. Attach your USB hubs to the side of the
monitor, where they USB outlets SHOULD be. 
Anybody listening? The monitor runs off USB and could
easily handle a dozen USB sockets!

Glue or velcro your USB hubs to the side of the monitor.
Attach the chinzy short cable of the first USB hub to your
USB extension cable, and connect the short cable of the
second hub into one socket on the first hub.

You can, if necesary, daisy-chain any number of USB hubs
like that. After you glue the hubs to the side of the
monitor, you can plug and UNplug devices without crawling
under the desk and messing around in the dark.

With the new, flat monitors you can glue the hubs behind
it, so that just the sockets stick out on the side. 

You will be the envy of all your acquaintances.
Monitors with built in USB hubs won't be available for a
few years yet.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Two confirmed bachelors are talking and their conversation
drifts from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook last
Christmas," says the first, "but I could never do anything
with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asks the
second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the
same way, 'Take a clean dish and ...'" 

--------------
I have a few years ago reverted to being an untamed
bachelor, but I learned in the 70s that washing dishes is
the best way to heal hands, that have work related wounds,
especially concrete sores. So I quite enjoy washing dishes.
Putting them away is another story, though :D



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Two sweet young ladies are driving through Louisiana. When
they reach the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing
about the pronunciation of the name. They argue back and
forth until they stop for lunch. As they stand at the
counter, one asks the manager, "Before we order, could you
please settle an argument for us? Would you please tell us
where we are? We're having trouble deciding how to
pronounce it." 

The manager leans over the counter and says, "Goodness
Gwecious Nee, you ahh at Belga Kink." (Burger King) 

____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Saving Money on Meat
Make multiple meals with the same cut of meat. For example,
if you buy ham or roast, plan on making a large pot of
soup with the leftovers. Whole chickens can be less
expensive than chicken pieces and the bones can be used for
soup stock.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

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Italian Sculpture Garden

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Ancient Classic:
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him
down for a little fireside chat.
He said "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding
night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and
handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.'

"So, she did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear
them.'

"I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I
always will.'

"Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm, "said Jack. He thought that might be a good thing to
try. So on his honeymoon, Jack took off his pants and said
to Jill, "Here try these on."

So she did and said, "These are too large, they don't fit
me."

Jack said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I
always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Jill took off her pants and handed them to Jack and
said, "Here, you try on mine."

So he did and said, "I can't get into your pants."

Jill said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass
attitude, you never will." 

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A man is away on a business trip for a few days, and when
he returns, his wife tells him that the dog really missed
him. "She spent every night at the front door, awaiting
your return," she says.

"What an example of true love," her husband replies.
"I wonder if you would be that concerned about me?"

"Honey," she answers, "if you were gone overnight, and I
didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting
for you at the front door, marble rolling pin in hand."

____________________________________________________



Today, August 20 in
1741 Danish navigator Vitus Jonas Bering, sailing for the
Russian navy, discovered Alaska. 
Outsiders first discovered Alaska in 1741 when Danish
explorer Vitus Jonassen Bering sighted it on a voyage from
Siberia. Russian whalers and fur traders on Kodiak Island
established the first settlement in Alaska in 1784.

1866 The National Labor Union in the U.S. advocated an
eight-hour workday. 

1866 It was formally declared by U.S. President Andrew
Johnson that the American Civil War was over. The fighting
had stopped months earlier. 

1882 Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" debuted in Moscow. 

1914 German forces occupied Brussels, Belgium, during World
War I. 

1918 The British opened its Western Front offensive during
World War I. 

1923 The first American dirigible, the "Shenandoah," was
launched in Lakehurst, NJ. The ship began its maiden voyage
from the same location on September 4. 

1940 France fell to the Germans during World War II. 

1953 It was announced by the Soviet Union that they had
detonated a hydrogen bomb. 

1955 In Morocco and Algeria hundreds of people were killed
in anti-French rioting. 

1955 Colonel Horace A. Hanes, a U.S. Air Force pilot, flew
to an altitude of 40,000 feet. Hanes reached a speed of
822.135 miles per hour in a Super Sabrejet. 

1967 The New York Times reported about a noise reduction
system for album and tape recording developed by
technicians R. and D.W. Dolby. Elektra Record's subsidiary,
Checkmate Records became the first label to use the new
Dolby process in its recordings. 

1968 The Soviet Union and other Warsaw Pact nations began
invading Czechoslovakia to crush the "Prague Spring"
liberalization. 

1977 Voyager 2 was launched by the United States. The
spacecraft was carrying a 12 inch copper phonograph record
containing greetings in dozens of languages, samples of
music and sounds of nature. 

1985 The original Xerox 914 copier was presented to the
Smithsonian Institute's Museum of American History. Chester
Carlson was the man who invented the machine. 

1991 A rally of more than 100,000 people occurred outside
the Russian parliament building to protest the coup that
removed Gorbachev from power. 

1997 NATO troops seized six police stations in Banja Luka
that had been held by troops controlled by former Bosnian
Serb President Radovan Karadzic. 

1997 Britain began voluntary evacuation of its Caribbean
island of Montserrat due to the volcanic activity of the
Soufriere Hills. 

1998 Canada's Supreme Court announced that Quebec could not
secede without the federal government's consent. 

1998 U.S. military forces attacked a terrorist camp in
Afghanistan and a chemical plant in Sudan. Both targets
were chosen for cruise missile strikes due to their
connection with Osama bin Laden. 

1998 The U.N. Security Council extended trade sanctions
against Iraq for blocking arms inspections. 

2010 The last American combat brigade exited Iraq after
more than seven years after the U.S.-led invasion began. 

2018  smiled.

https://youtu.be/18kmeHF_WX0

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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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