Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 18
Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
3 women charged in $7,000 Victoria's Secret 
theft and car chase.
 Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, Oct 18 in
Today, October 18, in 
1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. 
The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.

Turn the world over on its side and everything loose 
will land in Los Angeles.
--- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959) 

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned 
about life: it goes on.
--- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

Again and again, the impossible problem is solved 
when we see that the problem is only a tough decision 
waiting to be made. 
--- Robert H. Schuller 
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Thanks to Byron for this story:
Three little boys were concerned 
because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. 
They decided it was because they had not been baptized 
and didn't go to Sunday School. 

So they went to the nearest church. 

Only the janitor was there. 
   
One little boy said, 
"We need to be baptized 
because no one will come out and play with us. 
Will you baptize us?" 
"Sure," said the janitor. 

He took them into the bathroom 
and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, 
one at a time. 
Then he said, "You are now baptized!". 

When they got outside, 
one of them asked, 
"What religion do you think we are?" 

The oldest one said, 
"We're not Kathlick, .....because they pour the water on
you." 
"We're not Babtis, .....because they dunk all of you in the
water." 
"We're not Methdiss, ......because they just sprinkle water
on you." 

The littlest one said, 
"Didn't you smell that water!" 

They all joined in asking, 
"Yeah! What do you think that means?" 

"I think it means we're Pisscopailians. 
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Thanks to Sandie for this story:
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the 
background checks, interviews and testing were done, 
there were 3 finalists: Two men  and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to 
a large metal door and handed him a gun. 
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no 
matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you 
will find somebody sitting in a chair. Kill that person!"

The man entered the killing room and came right back out.
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot 
my wife." 

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job.

Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took 
the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 
minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 

"I tried, but I can't kill my wife." 
The agent said, "You don'! t have what it takes. Take your 
wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same 
instructions, to go into the room and kill the person
sitting on the chair. 

She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, 
one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging
on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door
opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat
from her brow. "This gun was loaded with blanks" she said. 
"I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them
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THanks to Dianne for this sage advice:
5 secrets to a perfect relationship 
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house 
        and has a job. 
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and 
        who doesn't lie to you. 
4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves 
        making love to you. 
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
______________________________________________________




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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Brittany R. Bobo, 24, 
Shomyia Hemphill, 28, (green hair)
Lamonica McGee, 23,
St. Louis, Missouri 

3 women charged in $7,000 Victoria's Secret 
theft and car chase.

St. Louis, Missouri   Three women have been charged with
stealing more than $7,000 worth of Victoria's Secret
merchandise.

Brittany R. Bobo, 24, Shomyia Hemphill, 28, and Lamonica
McGee, 23, are facing felony stealing charges. Hemphill is
also facing an additional charge of resisting arrest.

The crime that began at Victoria's Secret ended in a car
fire on Highway 64/40.

Police say the women entered a Victoria's Secret in the
Meadows shopping center in Lake St. Louis, walked to the
front displays and began stacking clothing that had been
spread out on display tables.

After the women made numerous stacks they took the clothing
and ran out, police say.

Lake St. Louis Police say the women drove off in a 2007
Nissan Altima. Police tried to stop their car as it fled
east on Interstate 64. During the pursuit the driver struck
a curb and blew out the tire.

Driving on an exposed rim, the suspects fled east on 64/40
with officers following them. Eventually, the driver pulled
over near Spoede Road and the car caught fire, likely due to
the heat and sparks from the rims grinding against the
roadway.

All but one lane of eastbound Highway 64/40 was closed at
Spoede and the westbound lanes, while open, were heavily
slowed by curious gawkers slowing down and taking pictures.

None of the suspects were injured and the 3 women were
arrested.

Bond for the suspects is set at $10,000 each.

_________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Wendy
Re: Camera recommendation
Dear Webby,
Hi, There.  Thanks for all the information you give us.  It
really helps us who have a trouble by times!  HA! HA!

My question is this:  I'm in the market for a new camera.
Wondering what is the best buy.  I don't do anything fancy,
just take photos but I want to be able to take good photos. 
Love landscapes, birds, butterflies etc.  Especially
flowers.  I have a KodakEasyShare that is around 15-20 years
old and it's time to upgrade.  Any suggestions?  Thanks for
all the jokes, they make my morning.  And also thanks for
all the info on the sidebar.  Have used some of the info and
there are some fantastic programs there for everything that
anyone might need. Keep up the good work and stay healthy
Wendy


Dear Wendy
If I had the money for a new camera, I would buy a Canon
Powershot.
There are various models for various budgets.
Even the lowest cost version is a great camera.
Check Price Grabber, Amazon, Walmart, etc., for new ones.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady   
comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked at
each   
other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?"   

She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost 

somehow and I need a new one."   

"What kind of a car is it on?" they asked.   

Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she 

said, "It's a Buick."   

"OK lady, how big is it?"   

She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in   
diameter.   

"What does it do?" we asked.   

She said, "I don't know but it's always been there."   

One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could
draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2
inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710. 

The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as
she writes it and they just fall down behind the counter
laughing.  

Finally one catc hes his breath and tells her,
"Yes, we have 710 caps for Buicks."




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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Changing a Hot Light Bulb
If you don't want to wait a few minutes for the light bulb 
to cool down, just use an oven mitt to untwist the hot bulb.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com


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 Christian cuss words

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Thanks to Darlene for this story:
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(this was actually reported by a teacher)
 
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their
holiday away from school. One child wrote the 
following:
 
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and 
Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa 
got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a 
tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. 
They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags 
because they don't know who they are anymore.
 
They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they 
must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, and do 
exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There 
is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and 
down with hats on.
 
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man 
sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. 
Sometimes they sneak out. They go cruising in their golf 
carts.
 
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the 
same thing every night ---early birds. Some of the people 
can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who 
do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call 
it pot luck.
 
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn 
his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be 
retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want 
to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out 
so they can visit their grandchildren.
__________________________________________________


 

Saint Simons Island Tree Spirits.

___________________________________________________

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the 
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room 
burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running 
for cover. 

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 
"What's the matter -- haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"
___________________________________________________

Three expectant fathers were in the waiting room.

The nurse came out of the delivery room and announced to 
one of the fathers that he was the father of twins.  He was 
delighted and said what a coincidence, since he was a 
member of the Minnesota Twins team.

A little later the nurse came out again and said to the next

father, congratulations, your wife just had triplets.  He
was so a happy, and said, "Isn't that a coincidence -- 
I work for 3M."

The other father took off like a shot -- the nurse ran after

him, saying, "Where are you going?"  

Over his shoulder, the nurse heard him mumbling something 
about his work at 7UP.



Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Thanks to Sandie for this story:
One day in the future, Jesse Jackson has a heart attack 
and dies.  He immediately goes to hell, where the devil 
is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.   "You are 
on my list, but I have no room for you.  You definitely 
have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.   
I've got a couple of folks! here who weren't quite as bad 
as you I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves"

Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened 
the door to the first room.  In it was Ted Kennedy and a 
large pool of water.   He kept diving in, and surfacing,
empty handed.   Over, and over, and over he dove in and
surfaced with nothing.   Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Jesse said, "I don't think so.   I'm not a good
swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.   In it was
Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks.   All
he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder.   I would be in

constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," 
commented Jesse.

The devil opened a third door.  Through it, Jesse saw Bill
Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his
head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose.  Bent
over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what made her famous.

Jesse looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . .
"OK, Monica, you can go upstairs."
____________________________________________________
 



Today, October 18, in 
1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The
marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 

1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes,
which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant
population. 

1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the
boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 

1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph
cable. 

1860 British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of
the Second Opium War. 

1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia.
The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars (2
cents per acre). 

1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago,
IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 

1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one
year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from
Spain. 

1929 The Judicial Committee of England's Privy Council ruled
that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 

1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during World
War II. 

1956 NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of radio-
equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks. 

1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on Art
Linkletter's show. 

1961 Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's
Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that
the painting had been hanging upside down. 

1968 Two black athletes, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, were
suspended by the U.S. Olympic Committee for giving a "black
power" salute during a ceremony in Mexico City. 

1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to
evidence that they caused cancer. 

1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death
after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec
Liberation Front (FLQ). French president DeGaulle and his
"Quebec Libre" speech ahd gotten the FLQ all excited, but
after not enough financial help from France and a referendum
a couple years later, they had to back down.

1977 Reggie Jackson tied Babe Ruth's record for hitting
three homeruns in a single World Series game. Jackson was
only the second player to achieve this. 

1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities
for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission. 

1985 South African authorities hanged black activist
Benjamin Moloise. Moloise had been convicted of murdering a
police officer. 

1989 Egon Krenz became the leader of East Germany after
Erich Honecker was ousted. Honeker had been in power for 18
years.

1989 The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission
that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe. 

1990 Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil
for $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had
been before the invasion of Kuwait. 

1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and
present, was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 

2013 Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat
on the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat
on December 6.

2017  smiled.
 
 


https://www.facebook.com/JoshuaNowickiPhotography/videos/1529618497093809/

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Have FUN !
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