Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, December 11

Thursday night will be the best night for watching falling stars.
The Geminid Meteor shower peaks Thursday night around midnight
with about 120 falling stars per hour. Dress warmly and set up a
lawn chair facing South or South-West. 
The Geminids come in high up, no obstructions along the horizon
interfering. As long as it does not snow in your area, you should
see lots of them!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Wyoming man, woman make 900-mile drive with 
children in trunk, dogs in back seat

______________________________________________________
Today, December 11 in
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris 
with nine exhibitors. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. --- Howard Aiken (1900 - 1973) ______________________________________________________ What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor. "'Putt' is correct," he replied. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means a vain attempt to do the same thing. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you." The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An American tourist was visiting in the Netherlands. During his stay in Amsterdam his watch stopped running. He asked one of the locals where he could get his watch fixed. The tourist was guided to the Jewish section of town. He was then directed toward a shop that had clocks displayed in the window. The American tourist entered the shop. Inside, behind a desk, sat an elderly Jewish man with a full beard. TOURIST: Hello. JEWISH MAN: Hello. TOURIST: I came here to have my watch fixed. JEWISH MAN: Sorry, I don't fix watches. I am a Mohel. TOURIST: What's a Mohel? JEWISH MAN: A Mohel is a Jewish Man who performs ritual circumcisions. TOURIST: Ritual circumcisions! But why do you have all those clocks in the window?! JEWISH MAN: So what you want me to have in my window? ______________________________________________________ Sent by Trish Storm picture by Ricky Pool in Bendigo Victoria Australia _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael J. Fee, 63, Amber L. Freudenstein, 31, Casper, Wyoming Wyoming man, woman make 900-mile drive with children in trunk, dogs in back seat A man and woman admitted in court they drove from Arizona to Wyoming with two children in the trunk of their car. Sixty-three-year-old Michael J. Fee and 31-year-old Amber L. Freudenstein each pleaded guilty Thursday to two misdemeanor counts of child endangerment. The Casper Star-Tribune reports Circuit Judge Steven Brown sentenced each to 30 days in jail. Fee is from Peoria, Arizona, and Freudenstein is from Tempe, Arizona. Sheriff's office officials say a third party told them the children reported riding in the trunk for much of the 900-mile drive while two German shepherds sat in the back seat. Fee said in court there was not enough room for everyone so the children were relegated to the trunk. Court documents show the children are about 6 and 10 years old. I tried to make things as safe as I could for them, he said. It wasn't anything malicious.
From: Jaye Re: Problem with junkmail Dear Webby, Getting flooded with a ton of junk mail and need to know if there is a good spam catcher. Thanks for all your hellp.... You advice keeps my Computer running smoothly. Jaye. Dear Jaye Go to http://webby.com/mailwasher and get MailWasher. You can get a free 30 day trial and get started immediately. I have been using MailWasher for years and it takes care of over 4000 pieces of spam in my mail every day. When you do eventually buy it, it is just under $30, and well worth it. Plus they buy me a regular coffee for dragging you in out of the rain. I have tried many spam control products over the years, and MailWasher beats them all. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A bad joke bonehead award goes to a Texas rancher who depreciated 15 to 20 animals, something only allowed if the animals are used in breeding who, when asked by the IRS agent at an audit, "I presume you breed these animals?" replied that he didn't, giving his accountant a heart attack. But then, after a pregnant pause, continued, "I've got a bull for that."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Everybody's heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They fueled up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people inside. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!" ------------------------ If you ARE interested in Area 51, head up Interstate 15 from Las Vegas towards Utah, hang a left at Highway 93, turn left at Extraterrestrial Highway, yes it's really called that!, about 40 Miles to 51 Road on the left. If you don't get stopped, about half an hour down that road is Area 51. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Day of the Week Hangers To make things easier, I made up a set of hangers with the days of the week on them. On Sundays, I go through my son's closet and put outfits together, then hang one on each "day of the week" hanger. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Amazing Images: The Best Science Photos of the Week.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to John for this story: I made the decision to finally do something about the 600 pounds I'm carrying on my 5'4" frame. So, I headed down to the local sports shoe store and was just amazed at the tremendous selection of different shoes. Flat arch, high arch, over-pronator, neutral-pronator, under-pronator . . . my God! I finally selected a pair and, as I was trying 'em on, I asked the saleslady, "What's this little pocket thing on the side for?" She said, "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call a cab when you've jogged too far." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Marion for this: Women's Lament: The nice men are ugly. The handsome men are not nice. The handsome and nice men are gay. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. The handsome men without money are after our money. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! And yet, WOMEN are the CONFUSED sex??? ----------------------- What's so confusing with clear guidelines like that? Make the first move and get on with life! ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Wendy tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to Paul her good friend. Paul told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Wendy, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said Paul. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, Wendy made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Paul asked Wendy, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied Wendy, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it." ___________________________________________________

Today December 11 in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took
place in New England. 

1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 

1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, which
had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges of treason.
He was convicted and condemned and was sent to the guillotine the
following January. 

1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a tooth
extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental procedure.
Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic. 

1872 Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback became America's first
black governor when he took office as acting governor of
Louisiana. 

1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was the
first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. 

1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine
exhibitors. 

1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life of
President-elect Herbert Hoover. 

1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 

1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry
American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor. 

1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the League
of Nations. 

1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The U.S
in turn declared war on the two countries. 

1946 The United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund
(UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly. The fund
provides relief to children in countries devastated by war. 

1961 The first direct American military support for South Vietnam
occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters
arrived in Saigon. 

1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time
in Toulouse, France. 

1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister
Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact when
they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of
Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation
creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would be
used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic waste
dumps. 

1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight
to Trevor Berbick. 

1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for
$6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and
Television. 

1986 The government of South Africa expanded its media
restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning coverage of
a wide range of peaceful anti-apartheid protests. 

1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at
Christie's for 82,500. 

1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons
of illegal fireworks exploded. 

1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of
marriage. 

1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for
blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in New
York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First
Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.). 

1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets
entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore
control in the breakaway republic. 

1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders
of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration
known as "The Miami Process." 

1996 In Crystal City, VA, "The Art of the Toy" opened. The
exhibit was at the Patent and Trademark Office Museum. 

1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political ally
of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He conferred
with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. 

1997 More than 270 Tutsi refugees from the Democratic Republic of
Congo were killed by Juto guerillas in Mudende, Rwanda. 

1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming
conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse
gases." 

1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire
genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 

1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey
to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of
1999, apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to
convert English measures to metric values. 

1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed
through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President
Clinton. 

2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that
he would end his three-plus year retirement and become an active
National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned
officially he became the first owner/player in NHL history. 

2001 U.S. Attorney General Ashcroft announced the first federal
indictment directly related to the terrorist attacks on the
United States on September 11, 2001. Zacarias Moussaoui was
charged with six conspiracy charges. Moussaoui was in custody at
the time of the attacks. 

2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison
ranches. 

2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would
withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty
with Russia. 

2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of
"Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence
against an international software piracy ring. 

2009 The game Angry Birds was released. 

2013 Standard & Poors announced that Facebook would join its S&P
500 index "after the close of trading on December 20." 

2018  smiled.

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