Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 26

Thank you Jim!!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Super Fink finked himself into jail
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, April 26 in
1937 German planes attacked Guernica, Spain, during the Spanish
Civil War for the Spanish nationalist government. This raid is
considered one of the first to be attacks on a civilian population
by a modern air force. The US followed promptly. Hemingway was
opposed. He was on the communist side. However, his book "For whom
the bell tolls" became a bestseller.
See More of what happened on this day in history.

______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
--- Jane Wagner
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A backslider suddenly began attending church faithfully on
Sunday mornings instead of going fishing. The pastor was
highly gratified and told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel
to see you at services!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "it's a matter of choice.
I'd rather hear your sermon than my wife's."

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



 Horny Wife
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

When I was in the fourth grade, we had the horrible Mr. Johnson
as our teacher.

Once he got called to the office.  When he got back, he found
all of us sitting absolutely still and quiet.

Shocked, he asked, "Boys and girls, I've never seen anything
like this.  It's wonderful.  But what made you all act so well
behaved and quiet?"

We all looked at each other and I finally raised my hand.
"Well," I said, "one time you said that if you ever came back
and found us quiet, you'd drop dead. We are waiting."
_______________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Joshua L Franklin, 19,
East Alton,
Illinois

Super Fink finked himself into jail

 An East Alton man who told police he witnessed a robbery he had
actually committed was sentenced to prison.

Joshua L. Franklin, 19, pleaded guilty April 16 to a robbery at Wood
River Convenient Market in August 2017, and was sentenced to four
years in prison.

Within an hour of the crime, East Alton Police said a person
matching the description of the suspect was in the lobby, wanting to
report the Wood River robbery. Franklin told police he had witnessed
the robbery.

Officers arrived in the lobby and arrested him. Wood River Deputy
Chief Dan Blunt said in August that Franklin must not have realized
how good the surveillance video the store had was. When police
searched Franklin's home, they found clothing, money and a weapon.
No one was hurt during the robbery.

Franklin's competency to stand trial was questioned, but he
ultimately was found competent enough for that.



Tech Support Pits
From: Jim
Re: Where are the Attachments in Thunderbird?

Dear Webby,
I have an email folder on Thunderbird with over 600 emails.
Most have an adobe document attachment and/or jpgs.
Is there anyway to move the attachments only ( as a group) to a folder in my documents file?
Jim

Dear Jim
Look for a folder called Attachments.
Thunderbird is actually just Eudora yuppiefied a  bit. 
Eudora has had a folder called Attachments since about 1990,
and I would bet Thunderbird has that too.
There might also be one called Embedded.
Browse those two folders and see what you want to move or delete.
Have FUN
DearWebby



Bob and his wife Judy live in Wisconsin. One winter morning
while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say:
"We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must
park your car on the even numbered side of the street,
so that the snowplow can get through"
Judy goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio
announcer says: "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow
today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side
of the street, so that the snowplow can get through."
Judy goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the
radio announcer says: "We are expecting 8-10 inches of
snow today. You must park........... ," then the electric
power goes out. Judy is very upset, and with a worried look
on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do.
Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow
can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice, like all men,
who are married to beautiful women exhibit, Bob says,
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Classic:
AMERICAN JOURNALISM

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S.
Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader
of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last
request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
hot spicy chili." 

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with
the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O
Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had
studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some
rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and
declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out
my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to
happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on
the job till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and
Roberts dictated some comments. She then said,"Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted
the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm
pistol from inside his fatigues, and shot the leader dead. In the
resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4
carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the
Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings , and Roberts, they asked
him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you
ask them to kick you in the ass first?"

"What!" replied the Marine, "And have you three assholes report that
I carried out an unprovoked attack?"



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Back in the days when Roman galleys plied the Mediterranean,
a crew of oarsmen was sweating and straining to propel the
ship through high seas when the first mate appeared.
"I've got good news and bad news," he says.
"The good news is we've spotted an island, so the plan is
to stop, drink rum, hunt a couple of wild boars, have a
feast and relax with the native girls."

The sailors all cheer in happiness, all but one, who asks,
"And what is the bad news?"
"Well," the first mate replies, "tomorrow, the captain
wants to go water skiing."

____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Bugs from Your Car
Baking soda is great for removing bugs from your car before
you wash it. Just put a little soda on a wet sponge and
smear it on the bugs, then wash as usual. The more bugs you
have the more soda you will need.
By Dyann

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________


Consider the Kansas farm couple who are sleeping early
one morning when a tornado roars over their farmhouse.
It lifts the roof off, picks up the bed the farmer and his
wife are sleeping in, and sets them down gently in the
next county.

The wife begins to cry.
"Don't be scared, dear," her husband says.
"We're not hurt."
The woman continues to cry.
"I'm not scared," she says between sobs.
"I'm crying because I'm happy. This is the first time in
14 years we've been out together."



Silent movie GIFs

___________________________________________________

A man is struck by a bus on a busy New York City street.
He lies on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers
around.
"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.

A policeman checks the crowd, but there's no priest, no
minister, no man of God of any kind.

"A priest, please," the injured man says again. Then out
of the crowd steps a wrinkled and wizened Jewish man of
advanced years.
"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not
even a Catholic. But for 50 years now I've lived behind
St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every
night I've listened to the Catholic rites. Maybe I can be
of some comfort to this man."

The policeman agrees and brings the old man over to
where the man lies. The old man kneels down on the
sidewalk, leans over the injured victim and intones in a
solemn voice: "Under the B - 4.
Under the I - 19.
Under the N - 38.
Under the G - 54.
Under the O - 72."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

____________________________________________________



Today, April 26 in
1478 Pazzi conspirators attacked Lorenzo and killed Giuliano
de'Medici. 

1514 Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn after
calculating
where it should be.

1607 The British established an American colony at Cape Henry,
Virginia. It was the first permanent English establishment in the
Western Hemisphere. 

1819 The first Odd Fellows lodge in the U.S. was established in
Baltimore, MD. 

1865 Joseph E. Johnston surrendered the Army of Tennessee to Sherman
during the American Civil War. 

1865 John Wilkes Booth was killed by the U.S. Federal Cavalry. 

1929 First non-stop flight from England to India was completed. 

1931 NBC premiered "Lum and Abner." It was on the air for 24 years. 

1937 German planes attacked Guernica, Spain, during the Spanish
Civil War for the Spanish nationalist government. This raid is
considered one of the first to be attacks on a civilian population
by a modern air force. The US followed promptly. Hemingway was
opposed. He was on the communist side. However, his book "For whom
the bell tolls" became a bestseller.

1945 Marshal Henri Philippe Petain, the head of France's Vichy
government during World War II, was arrested. 

1964 The African nations of Tanganyika and Zanzibar merged to form
Tanzania. 

1968 Students seized the administration building at Ohio State
University. 

1985 In Argentina, a fire at a mental hospital killed 79 people and
injured 247. 

1986 The world's worst nuclear disaster to date occurred at
Chernobyl, in Kiev. Thirty-one people died in the incident and
thousands more were exposed to radioactive material. 

1998 Auxiliary Bishop Juan Gerardi Conedera was bludgeoned to death
two days after a report he'd compiled on atrocities during
Guatemala's 36-year civil war was made public. 

2002 In Erfurt, Germany, an expelled student killed 17 people at his
former school. The student then killed himself. 

2018  smiled.

 
 

Go to TOP

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name
or your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend,
but don't have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the
first time, then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave
you a gift subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe
at http://webby.com/sub.html You can also UNsubscribe there.

If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, please unsubscribe by
clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Large Font version with this address:

---

UNSUBSCRIBE from the Large Font version

---

Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

---