Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, August 21

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Today, August 21 in 
1888 The adding machine was patented by William Burroughs.
 More of today in history at History
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please donate what you can!




Today's Bonehead Award: 
Mummified human remains, 
altar found in child sex assault suspect
                     
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If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a
conformist, 
it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing 
standard of nonconformity.
--- Bill Vaughan

I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
--- George Burns (1896 - 1996) 

All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of
the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and
hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and
frequently for the worse.
--- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) 
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The Mayo Clinic, getting on board with today's diet 
and health conscious society, just changed its name.
It's now the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.

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Reported by the Bausell Sailor: 



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Robert Frank Williams,
53,
Newarkm
New Jersey

Mummified human remains, 
altar found in child sex assault suspect

A 53-year-old man arrested after he allegedly sexually assaulted a
13-year-old child repeatedly had mummified remains in a closet in
his home, police said.

Police also found an altar to an unknown deity in Robert Frank
Williams' bedroom, officials said. They found the remains and
altar when they executed a search warrant Thursday in connection
to the sexual assaults.

Williams allegedly sexually assaulted a minor over a period of
several months, beginning in 2018.

He's charged with first degree aggravated sexual assault for
engaging in an act of penetration upon on a child younger than 13
years of age, first degree endangering the welfare of a child for
the production of items depicting the sexual exploitation or abuse
of a child, second degree sexual assault upon a victim who was
between the ages of 13 and 15, second degree luring, third degree
endangering the welfare of a child for engaging in sexual conduct
with a child and second degree desecration of human remains.

Authorities have not released any identification of the remains,
as of Monday.



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: Virginia
Re: Zoom not working for print

Dear Webby, 
When I zoomed to larger print on this letter and two others
tonight, instead of getting the one I was printing the previous
one presented itself. I don't know if I worded that correctly , I
hope you understand what I'm trying to say. So in order to print
it I had to return to the smaller print. What did I do wrong?
Thanks for your help,
Virginia.

Dear Virginia
CTRL-Scrollwheel only changes what the monitor shows, like a
magnifying glass.
It does not edit the page.

The printer prints the page as you received it.

If you want to print just part of it, for example a tech tip or a
joke, highlight that, and hit CTRL P to Print,
then checkmark "Selection Only"

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Planning a weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of
things I needed to do, including taking food out of the freezer
and grocery shopping.

As it happened, a friend whom I had been promising to take to
lunch asked if we could make it that Friday.

So, hopping into the car, I taped my "to do" list to the dashboard
and went and picked her up.

As she settled into the car, her face dropped.

"Thanks a lot!" she sulked.

Then I glanced at my list and saw the first item: 
"Take out the Turkey."



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Young Jock McTavish from Glasgow went to study 
at a university in England and was living in the 
hall of residence. After a week his mother rang him. 

"How do you get along with the other students, Jock?" 
she asked. 

"Well," he replied, "they are terribly noisy people. 
The one on one side keeps banging his head on the 
wall. The one on the other side screams all night." 

"Oh Jock!" said his mother. "How do you manage to 
put up with such noisy neighbours?" 

"I don't do anything. 
I just stand here quietly, playing my bagpipes!" 

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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Uses for Socks
Here are some uses for unmatched socks. Make a sock puppet with
some sewn on buttons for eyes. Put a sock on your hand and use it
as a dust rag. Slip a sock over a yard stick and secure it with a
rubber band and to clean under your fridge. Save them for the
winter when you need to wear two pairs.
thriftyfun.Com

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Nost confusing photos ever

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One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Pritchard, was 
extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces.  When she 
ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, 
"Don't forget to use wooden spoons."

As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the 
mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something 
to do with heat conduction. 

I approached Mrs. Pritchard to test my theory.  "Why wooden 
spoons?" I asked.

"Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all
you idiots banging metal spoons against metal pots, I'd go nuts
and kill half of you."

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As a roving columnist for a regional agricultural publication, I 
gather material by traveling with a saddle horse and a pack 
mule. Because my job is a bit unusual, my writings have 
attracted a following. Admittedly, my ego soars when folks 
recognize me and stop to chat. I had things put in their proper 
perspective, however, one cold day in eastern Montana.

My animals and I were loafing along. As a stock truck passed 
by us, the driver waved, and I waved back. I was sure that he 
was one of my fans. 

Minutes later, the truck driver came back and pulled off to the 
side of the road. "You're that writer fellow, aren't you?" he
asked.

"That's right," I replied, beaming.

"I thought so," he said. "I recognized your mule."

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A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when

the subject of marriage counseling came up. 

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great
relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major
in college and I majored in theater arts. 

He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening." 

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.

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Today, August 21 in
1680 The Pueblo Indians drove the Spanish out and took possession
of Santa Fe, NM. 

1831 Nat Turner, a former slave, led a violent insurrection in
Virginia. He was later executed. 

1841 A patent for venetian blinds was issued to John Hampton. 

1888 The adding machine was patented by William Burroughs. 

1912 Arthur R. Eldred became the first American boy to become an
Eagle Scout. It is the highest rank in the Boy Scouts of America. 

1923 In Kalamazoo, Michigan, an ordinance was passed forbidding
dancers from gazing into the eyes of their partner. 

1943 Japan evacuated the Aleutian island of Kiaska. Kiaska had
been the last North American foothold held by the Japanese. 

1945 U.S. President Truman ended the Lend-Lease program that had
shipped about $50 billion in arms and ammo to America's Allies
England and Soviet Union during World War II. They did not pay
back foe that.

1959 Hawaii became the 50th state. U.S. President Eisenhower also
issued the order for the 50 star flag. 

1963 In South Vietnam, martial law was declared. Army troops and
police began to crackdown on the Buddhist anti-government
protesters. 

1989 Voyager 2, a U.S. space probe, got close to the Neptune moon
called Triton. 

1991 The hard-line coup against Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev
ended. The uprising that led to the collapse was led by Russian
federation President Boris Yeltsin. 

1993 NASA lost contact with the Mars Observer spacecraft. The fate
of the spacecraft is unknown. The mission cost $980 million. 

1994 Ernesto Zedillo won the Mexican presidential election. 

1997 Hudson Foods Inc. closed a plant in Nebraska after it had
recalled 25 million pounds of ground beef that was potentially
contaminated with E. coli 01557:H7. It was the largest food recall
in U.S. history. 

1997 Afghanistan suspended its embassy operations in the United
States. 

2002 In Pakistan, President General Pervez Musharraf unilaterally
amended the Pakistani constitution. He extended his term in office
and granted himself powers that included the right to dissolve
parliament. 

2003 In Ghana, businessman Gyude Bryant was selected to oversee
the two-year power-sharing accord between Liberia's rebels and the
government. The accord was planned to guide the country out of 14
years of civil war.

2019  smiled.