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Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, August 30

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Two Chicago Brothers On Parole Charged In Murder 
Of NBA Star’s Cousin
Details at Boneheads
Today, August 30, in 
1146 European leaders outlawed the crossbow and got soundly 
defeated by the Swiss. 

More of what happened on this day in history.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) "This book is dedicated to my brilliant and beautiful wife without whom I would be nothing. She always comforts and consoles, never complains or interferes, asks nothing, and endures all. She also writes my dedications." --- Albert Malvino ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Early one morning a Priest heard a noise outside his door. When he opened it, he saw a donkey fall over dead. Not knowing what to do about the situation, he called the mayor and related the situation. The mayor couldn't resist jabbing at the Priest and said, "Father, I thought that in a case like that the duty of a Priest was to bury the dead." Without any hesitation, the Priest said, "No, my duty is to to notify next of kin, so that they can pay for funeral arrangements." ______________________________________________________ A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock. They got dressed quickly. Then the man asked his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked, and thought he was rather weird. The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I can not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late." The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU DAMN LIAR! You've been playing golf again, haven't you?" ----------------- Don't try that trick with YOUR wife. Remember, she reads the Humor Letter ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: At the back door ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Derren Sorrells, 26, Darwin Sorrells Jr., 22, Chicago, Ill Two Chicago Brothers On Parole Charged In Murder Of NBA Star’s Cousin. The pair are described as “documented gang members.” Chicago police on Sunday said they have arrested two brothers and charged them with the fatal shooting of basketball star Dwyane Wade’s cousin as she pushed a baby in a stroller, a murder that has stunned a city plagued by a surge in gang-related violence. In a case that has emerged as a talking point in the U.S. presidential race, Darwin Sorrells Jr., 26, and Derren Sorrells, 22, are facing charges of first-degree murder and attempted murder in the death of Nykea Aldridge, a 32-year- old mother of four, police said. The brothers, described as “documented gang members,” are convicted felons who were out of prison on parole at the time of the shooting, police officials said at a Sunday press briefing. Aldridge was hit when the suspects opened fire at the intended target, a driver of a car who told authorities he worked for Uber and was dropping off passengers. In a briefing on Sunday, police did not say why the driver was targeted except to note that the man was from outside the area and appeared to have an exchange of words with the suspects. One of the brothers was required to wear a monitoring device as a condition of his home confinement while on parole, except from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. when he was allowed to conduct personal business. It was during those hours that the shooting occurred, police said. Darwin Sorrells was sentenced to six years in prison in 2013 on a gun charge but was “let out early,” police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said on Twitter on Sunday. BL&M ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nate RE: What is that attack on Classic Shell about? Dear Webby, What is that attack on Classic Shell about? I have been using Classic Shell for a couple of years and am perfectly happy with it. With that I can be just as productive and efficient on W10 as I was with W7. What is this all about? Do I have to worry now? Nate Dear Nate On August 2 some very skilled hackers, who are extremely familiar with Windows10, hacked the download site for Classic Shell, and uploaded a doctored version. The attack was timed by whoever hacked the installer to coincide with the also hacked release of Windows 10 Anniversary Update to sabotage older versions of Classic Shell. After the Anniversary patch users would head to the main download site and the compromised installer would infect their PC. Whoever did it must have had considerable cooperation from inside Microsoft and using the Anniversary patch as part of the attack by forcing users to go download the hacked version of Classic Shell. The Anniversary patch was definitely part of the attack. There is no proof, of course, but it sure looks like it was done by Microsoft employees. As long as you avoid the Anniversary Patch, which is very bad news anyway, you are safe. It is only the Anniversary patch, that sabotages Classic Shell. There are now good, pre-hack versions available again. However, since your version works fine, don't bother with updates for a while. From what I hear, there are no updates needed for Classic Shell anyway. It is only the Windows10 Anniversary patch that sabotages people's Classic Shell and forces them to download a new version. Since the Classic Shell update hack has been dumped and replaced with a good version, that danger is now gone. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "Whassa matter, have you never seen a little boy before?" ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Removing Dye Transfers from Clothing By Abigail A. [18 Posts, 1,278 Comments] Try soaking in color-safe bleach. If you frequently have to do mixed- color loads, invest in Shout! Color Catcher sheets to "catch" the dye. Better than ruining towels or clothes. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ A drummer got bored with his instrument and decided to take up the accordion instead. Walking into a music shop, he spotted one he liked and asked the shopkeeper, "How much is that accordion by the wall?" The shopkeeper looked at him and said, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" "Yes, how did you know?" he said. "That thing over there by the wall, that's a radiator." ___________________________________________________
Amazing Grace, Andre Rieu
____________________________________________________ Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replied, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," said the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago." ____________________________________________________ The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line." "This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now." "He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish." ____________________________________________________
Pebble Art. This lady has quite an imagination!

Today on August 30 in
1146 European leaders outlawed the crossbow and got soundly
defeated by the Swiss. 

1645 American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty at
New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later became known as New York.

1682 William Penn sailed from England and later established
the colony of Pennsylvania in America. 

1780 General Benedict Arnold secretly promised to surrender
the West Point fort to the British army. 

1809 Charles Doolittle Walcott first discovered fossils near
Burgess Pass. He named the site Burgess Shale after nearby
Mt. Burgess. 

1862 The Confederates defeated Union forces at the second
Battle of Bull Run in Manassas, VA. 

1941 During World War II, the Nazis severed the last
railroad link between Leningrad and the rest of the Soviet

1945 General Douglas MacArthur set up Allied occupation
headquarters in Japan. 

1951 The Philippines and the United States signed a defense

1956 In Louisianna, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway opened. 

1960 A partial blockade was imposed on West Berlin by East

1963 The "Hotline" between Moscow and Washington, DC, went
into operation. 

1982 P.L.O. leader Yasir Arafat left Beirut for Greece. 

1983 The space shuttle Challenger blasted off with Guion S.
Bluford Jr. aboard. He was the first black American to
travel in space. 

1984 The space shuttle Discovery lifted off for the first
time. On the voyage three communications satellites were

1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan, and several others, were
inducted into the Sportscasters Hall of Fame. 

1991 The Soviet republic of Azerbaijan declared its

1994 Rosa Parks was robbed and beaten by Joseph Skipper.
Parks was known for her refusal to give up her seat on a bus
in 1955, which sparked the civil rights movement. 

1994 The largest U.S. defense contractor was created when
the Lockheed and Martin Marietta corporations agreed to a

1996 An expedition to raise part of the Titanic failed when
the nylon lines being used to raise part of the hull

1999 The residents of East Timor overwhelmingly voted for
independence from Indonesia. The U.N. announced the result
on September 4. 

2002 Conoco Inc. and Phillips Petroleum merged to create
ConocoPhillips. The new company was the third largest
integrated energy company and the second largest refining
company in the U.S. 

2016  smiled.
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