Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, February 8, 2010


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
--- Mick Jagger

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
--- Isaac Newton


The class assignment was to write about something
unusual that happened during the past week.
Little Susie got up to read hers,
"My brother was fighting with me, and he fell in the well
last week..." she began.

"Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Koop. "Is he all right now?"

"He must be," said Little Susie. "He stopped yelling yesterday."


The nice part about living in a small town is that when you
don't know what you're doing, everybody else does,
often long before you actually get around to doing it.





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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a 26 year old shoplifter in Riverton, Wyoming

Dumbest shoplifter
RIVERTON, Wyo. — Police say a man suspected of stealing a 
bottle of Schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store didn’t have the 
best escape route planned.

Riverton police say the 26-year-old ran out of the store after 
grabbing the bottle of liquor and a package of cough drops 
Wednesday and hid in a nearby building, which happened to 
be the police station.

Police say the man then ran out of the police station, but not 
before a dispatcher had spied him on the station’s surveillance 
camera and alerted officers.

The man, who police say was drunk, was caught soon after. 
He was taken into custody on preliminary charges of resisting 
arrest and shoplifting.



A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber ignored it, and unplugs the TV.
Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"Moses."
"What dummy named you Moses?"
"The same dummy who called his rottweiler Jesus."


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Rosie
Re: too many addresses to check

Dear Webby
I have a bunch of different addresses, so that if any one 
company sells my address, I can just dump that address.
That works fairly well, but over the years, they have gotten
onto various spam lists anyway. Is there a way I can weed
out the spam on many addresses at the same time, or do
I need to buy a spam protection program for each address?
Rosie

Dear Rosie
With MailWasher you can check as many different addresses
as you want all at the same time. They can be at totally
different providers.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his check up, the doctor called his wife into his
office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
very serious disease, combined with horrible stress.
If you don't do the following, your husband will die.
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
Be reasonably pleasant and try to get him into a good mood.
For lunch, fix him something hot.
For dinner, prepare something hot and fairly nutritious.
For a while, don't burden him too much with unnecessary chores.
Try not to discuss your stress about the house work and the
soap operas too much when he is worrying about the
family business, that would just make him feel worse.
And most importantly, you must be intimate with your
husband at least one day of every week.
If you can do this for at least 10 months to a year,
I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife,
"What did the doctor say to you?"
"You're gonna die."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Pledge Cleans More Than Wood
If you look on the back of your Pledge bottle, you will see that 
Pledge not only polishes your wood, but is also great for 
cleaning stainless steel, leather, granite and marble. I love it, 
especially for my stainless steel appliances and leather couches. 
I've tried at least 5 different expensive stainless steel cleaners 
and pledge outshines them all! It gently cleans to leave a 
brilliant shine that resists fingerprints. I also use it on my 
leather couches and it works better than any of the expensive 
leather cleaners I used to use. Plus, as an added bonus, I 
have a lot more space in my cleaning cabinet now that 3 
cleaners have been replace by 1. A win win win all around! 
By Christi from Lake Worth

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


(This one you have to read out loud)
"Information? I need the number for Caseway Trasnport."
"Would you spell that, please?"
"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as
in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in
are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Just saw a headline on the news ticker:
"Scientists say English Foot and Mouth out of control"

hmmm, I know some Irish who have been saying that for years!






 »  Street Installations
 


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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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