Good Morning, !
It's Wenesday, March 10, 2010
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
--- James Thurber
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
--- A. H. Weiler
Thanks to Cookie for this story:
Little Matthew was 9 years old and was staying with his
grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside
with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the
same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him
the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'
Little Matthew said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to
play with the other kids..
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse.. It's called
Bunk Beds..
And Jimmie's mom wants to talk to you.'
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
"I have a problem," Suzanne complained to her friend,
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining
that they can never reach me."
"Don't you have a phone in your car?" asked the friend.
"That was too expensive, so I did the next best thing.
I put a mailbox in my car."
"A mail box? Does that work?"
"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
"And why do you think that is?"
Suzanne thought for a moment, then replied,
"I figure it's because when I'm driving around,
my zip code keeps changing."
The first Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi
As you may have seen on the news, it's been very cold in the
Midwest, so cold in fact that we have borrowed a Norwegian
Icebreaker from Minnesota to unclog the Mississippi, starting
near Davenport and working its way north. Here is the first
picture of it as it begins the hard work required to break up
the ice.
Tom W
Norwegian Icebreaker
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Alen Nguyen, 22, in Winter Haven, Florida
Tried to redeem winners at same store where stole the tickets
BARTOW, Fla. (AP) - A Winter Haven man was arrested after
authorities say he took a winning scratch-off ticket back to the store
he had stolen it from a day earlier.
The Polk County Sheriff's Office reports that 22-year-old Alen Nguyen
stole $70 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets from a Circle K store on
Sunday.
One of the tickets revealed a $50 prize.
When Nguyen went back to the store on Monday to claim the
money, a clerk who was aware of the theft asked Nguyen for his
driver's license and wrote down the information.
The clerk called the authorities, and deputies went to arrest Nguyen.
He was charged with retail theft and later released on $250 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Carol
Re: How do I make destop links to sites?
Dear Webby,
how can I get links to sites I use frequently to be sent to my destop?
I use Windows XP Service pack 3.
Thanks!
Carol
Dear Carol
Browse to a site that you want a shortcut icon for,
then grab the little icon at the left side in the browser
address bar, and drag it to the desktop, or to a thematic
folder on the desktop.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Thanks to Roland for this story:
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we
were first married, you took the small piece of steak and
gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me
the smaller. You don't love me any more?"
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook
better now."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Bleach Water to Control Gnats
Recently our house has been overrun with gnats. I followed all your
suggestions, nothing worked. I finally called an exterminator, he
couldn't come but he told us to pour scalding water down every
drain in our house and follow it up with bleach.
They said we may have to do it several times before we can see
it is effective. We used 2 gallons of scalding hot water for each
drain and followed up with a quart of bleach for each drain.
I wanted to pass this along cause it is really a problem this year.
By BJ from Mid Missouri
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Joan had a system for labeling leftover meals in the freezer .
She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or
"Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and
Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."
Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for
dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided
to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes.
So now you'll see a whole new set of labels: "Whatever",
"Anything", "I Don't Know", "I Don't Care", "Something Good",
or "Food" .
No more frustration for Joan, because no matter what her
husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner,
it's there waiting.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request .
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices
that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something
bugging you? You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life
savings in the stock market," Jill explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure
you're feeling sorry for him."
"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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Well, , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
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