Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, January 22

___________________________________________________
Today, January 22 in 
1984 - Apple introduced the Macintosh during the 
third quarter of Super Bowl XVIII.

______________________________________________________




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please donate what you can!





Today's Bonehead Award:

Florida man attempts to hide underwater 
from cops, gets arrested after coming 
up for air
                     
__________________________________________
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_______________________________________________
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
--- Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966)

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and 
as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
--- Clint Eastwood (1930 - ) 
_____________________________________________

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest
military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main
Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all
under age 11.

Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the
cramped customs area.  A young customs official watched
our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these
children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh.  "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation:  "Ma'am, do you
have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your
possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items,
I would have used them by now."
________________________________________________`




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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by 

Daniel Christopher Booth, 
36,
Suwannee,
Floriduh

Florida man attempts to hide underwater 
from cops, gets arrested after coming 
up for air

A Florida man attempted a “not so great escape” last week
when he tried hiding from deputies underwater in a pond – an
“action movie” stunt that officials easily foiled when he
came up for air, authorities said.

Daniel Christopher Booth, 36, had warrants out for his
arrest in Baker County for selling methamphetamine, the
Suwanee County Sheriff’s Office wrote Wednesday on Facebook.

When a deputy attempted to arrest Booth at his job at a
solar power plant, the sheriff’s office said, the 36-year-
old ran away and dove into a pond.

“Now we can only assume that Mr. Booth has seen one too many
action movies and thought he could hide from the K9 teams,
from Suwannee CI and Mayo CI by hiding under the water in a
pond,” the post read.

Deputies quickly spotted Booth when he came to the surface
for air and made the arrest, according to the post.

Booth was transported “soaking wet” to the Suwanee County
Jail, the sheriff’s office said, adding several comical
hashtags, including “#NotRambo.”

He faces additional charges for the ill-planned escape
attempt.

----------
I have swum in Floriduh one January. The water is COLD,
especially when I am almost passing out from heat stroke
before jumping in!



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: Myrna
Re: PayPal at Amazon

Dear Webby,
I can't see a PayPal button at Amazon. Does PayPal
not work there? Why not?
Myrna

Dear Myrna
No, it doesn't.
PayPal used to be a subsidiary of eBay, the top competitor
of Amazon. Jeff Bezos, the owner of Amazon, is still in a
snit about that, and has no intention of starting to
cooperate. 
Officially, that would give their competitor information
about their clients, but actually, it's just that Jeff Bezos
is in a snit.

If you can't get a regular credit or debit card, get a
PayPal debit MasterCard. You don't need credit for that, and
even if your daughters abused your credit cards and put
them
beyond a recoverable limit, a debit card just works with
money, you have in your account. Just put some money into
your PayPal account, and use that money with the Debit card.

You can get those at 


Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 

A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their
ailments.

"My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."

"Yes, I know.  My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour
the coffee."

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."

"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy."

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."

"Well, it's not all bad.  We should be thankful that we can
still drive!"




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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!


     
___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Rooting a Spider Plant
There is a very large spider plant at my kids' school. One
day when I was there I was able to collect a small baby
plant from it. 

I brought it home and put it into the lab flask that I use
for rooting plants. I filled it with water so that the
bottom of the plant was submerged. Over the next few weeks
it began rooting and is now ready to be planted in soil. It
was much easier than I had expected. Now it can continue
growing and make its own little baby plants. :)I brought it
home and put it into the lab flask that I use for rooting
plants. I filled it with water so that the bottom of the
plant was submerged. Over the next few weeks it began
rooting and is now ready to be planted in soil. It was much
easier than I had expected. Now it can continue growing and
make its own little baby plants. :)I brought it home and put
it into the lab flask that I use for rooting plants. I
filled it with water so that the bottom of the plant was
submerged. Over the next few weeks it began rooting and is
now ready to be planted in soil. It was much easier than I
had expected. Now it can continue growing and make its own
little baby plants. :)


Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips,
then
you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun

____________________________________________________





 
Weird Houses 
___________________________________________________

"Hey, Mom," asked Ralph, "can you give me 20 dollars?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the
maid when
you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she
handed over the
money. "Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you
wash my socks tomorrow!' "
___________________________________________________

Male Bashing

Men are like ... Department Stores
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like ... Pillows
Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.

Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw, they lose interest

Men are like.....Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night
long.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
And don't forget the noxious fumes!

Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.

Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like.....Floor tile.
Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for a
lifetime.

Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
___________________________________________________

Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents
had tried everything, tutors, flash cards, special learning
centers, in short everything they could think of. Finally,
in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled
him in the local Catholic School.

After the first day, Tommy came home with a very serious
look on his face. He didn't kiss his mother hello.
Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.
Books and paper were spread out all over his room and Tommy
was working hard.

His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to
her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his
room without a word and in no time was back hitting the
books as hard as before.

This went on day after day, while Tommy's mother tried to
understand what made all the difference.
Finally, Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly laid
it on the table and went up to his room to hit the books.
With great trepidation, his mom looked at it. To her
surprise, Tommy got an A in Math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to Tommy's
room and asked, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"

Tommy looked at her and shook his head.

"Well then, was it the books, the discipline, the
structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it??"

Tommy looked at her and said, "Well on the first
day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign,
I knew they weren't fooling around."
__________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.

___________________________________________________



Today January 22 in
1666 Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur,
died at the age of 74. He was the Mongol emperor of India
that built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife Mumtaz-
i-Mahal.

1771 The Falkland Islands were ceded to Britain by Spain.

1824 The Asante army crushed British troops in the Gold
Coast.

1874 A patent was issued to Samuel W. Francis for the spork.

1879 James Shields began a term as a U.S. Senator from
Missouri. He had previously served Illinois and Minnesota.
He was the first Senator to serve three states.

1879 British troops were massacred by the Zulus at
Isandhlwana.

1889 The Columbia Phonograph Company was formed in
Washington, DC.

1895 The National Association of Manufacturers was organized
in Cincinnati, OH.

1900 Off of South Africa, the British released the German
steamer Herzog, which had been seized on January 6.

1901 Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for
nearly 64 years. Edward VII, her son, succeeded her.

1903 The Hay-Herrán Treaty was signed by United States
Secretary of State John M. Hay and Colombian Chargé Dr.
Tomás Herrán. The treaty granted the United States rights to
the land proposed for the Panama Canal.

1905 Insurgent workers were fired on in St Petersburg,
Russia, resulting in "Bloody Sunday." 500 people were
killed.

1917 U.S. President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in
Europe, calling for "peace without victory." America entered
the war the following April.

1930 In New York, excavation began for the Empire State
Building.

1936 In Paris, Premier Pierre Laval resigned over diplomatic
failure in the Ethiopian crisis.

1941 Britain captured Tobruk from German forces.

1944 Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy, during
World War II.

1951 Fidel Castro was ejected from a Winter League baseball
game after hitting a batter. He later gave up baseball for
politics.

1957 Suspected "Mad Bomber" was arrested in Waterbury, CT.
George P. Metesky was accused of planting more than 30
explosive devices in the New York City area.

1957 The Israeli army withdrew from the Sinai. They had
invaded Egypt on October 29, 1956.

1962 Cuba's membership in the Organization of American
States (OAS) was suspended.

1970 The first regularly scheduled commercial flight of the
Boeing 747 began in New York City and ended in London about
6 1/2 hours later.

1972 The United Kingdom, the Irish Republic, and Denmark
joined the EEC.

1973 Joe Frazier lost the first fight of his professional
career to George Foreman. He had been the undefeated
heavyweight world champion since February 16, 1970 when he
knocked out Jimmy Ellis.

1973 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that had
been restricting abortions during the first six months of
pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion.

1666 - Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur,
died at the age of 74. He was the Mongul emperor of India
that built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife Mumtaz-
i-Mahal.

1771 - The Falkland Islands were ceded to Britain by Spain.

1824 - The Asante army crushed British troops in the Gold
Coast.

1874 - A patent was issued to Samuel W. Francis for the
spork.

1879 - James Shields began a term as a U.S. Senator from
Missouri. He had previously served Illinois and Minnesota.
He was the first Senator to serve three states.

1879 - British troops were massacred by the Zulus at
Isandhlwana.

1889 - The Columbia Phonograph Company was formed in
Washington, DC.

1895 - The National Association of Manufacturers was
organized in Cincinnati, OH.

1900 - Off of South Africa, the British released the German
steamer Herzog, which had been seized on January 6.

1901 - Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for
nearly 64 years. Edward VII, her son, succeeded her.

1903 - The Hay-Herrán Treaty was signed by United States
Secretary of State John M. Hay and Colombian Chargé Dr.
Tomás Herrán. The treaty granted the United States rights to
the land proposed for the Panama Canal.

1905 - Insurgent workers were fired on in St Petersburg,
Russia, resulting in "Bloody Sunday." 500 people were
killed.

1917 - U.S. President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in
Europe, calling for "peace without victory." America entered
the war the following April.

1924 - Ramsay MacDonald became Britain's first Labour Prime
Minister.

1930 - In New York, excavation began for the Empire State
Building.

1936 - In Paris, Premier Pierre Laval resigned over
diplomatic failure in the Ethiopian crisis.

1938 - "Our Town," by Thornton Wilder, was performed
publicly for the first time, in Princeton, NJ.

1941 - Britain captured Tobruk from German forces.

1944 - Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy, during
World War II.

1947 - KTLA, Channel 5, in Hollywood, CA, began operation as
the first commercial television station west of the
Mississippi River.

1950 - Alger Hiss, a former adviser to U.S. President
Franklin Roosevelt, was convicted of perjury for denying
contacts with a Soviet agent. He was sentenced to five years
in prison.

1951 - Fidel Castro was ejected from a Winter League
baseball game after hitting a batter. He later gave up
baseball for politics.

1953 - The Arthur Miller drama "The Crucible" opened on
Broadway.

1956 - Raymond Burr starred as Captain Lee Quince in the
"Fort Laramie" debut on CBS radio.

1957 - Suspected "Mad Bomber" was arrested in Waterbury, CT.
George P. Metesky was accused of planting more than 30
explosive devices in the New York City area.

1957 - The Israeli army withdrew from the Sinai. They had
invaded Egypt on October 29, 1956.

1959 - British world racing champion Mike Hawthorn was
killed while driving on the Guildford bypass.

1961 - Wilma Rudolph, set a world indoor record in the
women’s 60-yard dash. She ran the race in 6.9 seconds.

1962 - Cuba's membership in the Organization of American
States (OAS) was suspended.

1964 - Kenneth Kaunda was sworn in as the first Prime
Minister of Northern Rhodesia.

1968 - "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In", debuted on NBC TV.

1970 - The first regularly scheduled commercial flight of
the Boeing 747 began in New York City and ended in London
about 6 1/2 hours later.

1972 - The United Kingdom, the Irish Republic, and Denmark
joined the EEC.

1973 - Joe Frazier lost the first fight of his professional
career to George Foreman. He had been the undefeated
heavyweight world champion since February 16, 1970 when he
knocked out Jimmy Ellis.

1973 - The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that
had been restricting abortions during the first six months
of pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion.

1983 - Bjorn Borg retired from tennis. He had set a record
by winning 5 consecutive Wimbledon championships.

1984 - Apple introduced the Macintosh during the third
quarter of Super Bowl XVIII.

1987 - Phil Donahue became the first talk show host to tape
a show from inside the Soviet Union. The shows were shown
later in the year.

1992 - Rebel soldiers seized the national radio station in
Kinshasa, Zaire's capital, and broadcast a demand for the
government's resignation.

1995 - Two Palestinian suicide bombers from the Gaza Strip
detonated powerful explosives at a military transit point in
central Israel, killing 19 Israelis.

1997 - The U.S. Senate confirmed Madeleine Albright as the
first female secretary of state.

1998 - Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to federal charges for
his role as the Unabomber. He agreed to life in prison
without parole.

2000 - Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers met privately with U.S.
Attorney General Janet Reno as they appealed for help in
removing the boy from his Florida relatives and reuniting
him with his father in Cuba.

2001 - Former National Football League (NFL) player Rae
Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 18 years and 11 months in
prison for his role in the 1999 shooting death of his
pregnant girlfriend, Cherica Adams. Adams died a month later
from her wounds. The baby survived and lives with the
victim's mother.

2001 - Acting on a tip, authorities captured four of the
"Texas 7" in Woodland Park, CO, at a convenience store. A
fifth convict killed himself inside a motor home.

2002 - In Calcutta, India, Heavily armed gunmen attacked the
U.S. government cultural center. Five police officers were
killed and twenty others, including one pedestrian and one
private security guard, were wounded.

2002 - Lawyers suing Enron Corp. asked a court to prevent
further shredding of documents due to the pending federal
investigation.

2002 - Amazon.com announced that it had posted its first net
profit in the fourth quarter (quarter ending December 31,
2001).

2002 - AOL Time Warner filed suit against Microsoft in
federal court seeking damages for harm done to AOL's
Netscape Internet Browser when Microsoft began giving away
its competing browser.

2002 - Marc Chagall's work "Study for 'Over Vitebsk" was
found at a postal installation in Topeka, KS. The 8x10 oil
painting is valued at about $1 million. The work was stolen
a year before from the Jewish Museum in New York City.

2002 - Kmart Corp. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy making it
the largest retailer in history to seek legal protection
from its creditors.

2003 - In New York, the "Leonardo da Vinci, Master
Draftsmen" exhibit opened at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

2003 - It was reported that scientists in China had found
fossilized remains of a dinosaur with four feathered wings.

1992 Rebel soldiers seized the national radio station in
Kinshasa, Zaire's capital, and broadcast a demand for the
government's resignation.

1995 Two Palestinian suicide bombers from the Gaza Strip
detonated powerful explosives at a military transit point in
central Israel, killing 19 Israelis.

1997 The U.S. Senate confirmed Madeleine Albright as the
first female secretary of state.

1998 Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to federal charges for
his role as the Unabomber. He agreed to life in prison
without parole.

2000 Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers met privately with U.S.
Attorney General Janet Reno as they appealed for help in
removing the boy from his Florida relatives and reuniting
him with his father in Cuba.

2001 Former National Football League (NFL) player Rae
Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 18 years and 11 months in
prison for his role in the 1999 shooting death of his
pregnant girlfriend, Cherica Adams. Adams died a month later
from her wounds. The baby survived and lives with the
victim's mother.

2001 Acting on a tip, authorities captured four of the
"Texas 7" in Woodland Park, CO, at a convenience store. A
fifth convict killed himself inside a motor home.

2002 In Calcutta, India, Heavily armed gunmen attacked the
U.S. government cultural center. Five police officers were
killed and twenty others, including one pedestrian and one
private security guard, were wounded.

2002 Lawyers suing Enron Corp. asked a court to prevent
further shredding of documents due to the pending federal
investigation.

2002 Amazon.com announced that it had posted its first net
profit in the fourth quarter (quarter ending December 31,
2001).

2002 AOL Time Warner filed suit against Microsoft in federal
court seeking damages for harm done to AOL's Netscape
Internet Browser when Microsoft began giving away its
competing browser.

2002 Marc Chagall's work "Study for 'Over Vitebsk" was found
at a postal installation in Topeka, KS. The 8x10 oil
painting is valued at about $1 million. The work was stolen
a year before from the Jewish Museum in New York City.

2002 Kmart Corp. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy making it
the largest retailer in history to seek legal protection
from its creditors.

2003 In New York, the "Leonardo da Vinci, Master Draftsman"
exhibit opened at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

2003 It was reported that scientists in China had found
fossilized remains of a dinosaur with four feathered wings.

2019  smiled.



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, that's all for today.



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