Good Morning,  !
It's Wenesday, March 10, 2010

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
--- James Thurber

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
--- A. H. Weiler


Thanks to Cookie for this story:
Little Matthew was 9 years old and was staying with his 
grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside 
with the other kids for a while when he came into the 
house and asked her, 
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the 
same room and one is on top of the other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him 
the truth. 'It's called  sexual intercourse, darling.' 

Little Matthew said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to 
play with the other kids.. 
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse.. It's called 
Bunk Beds.. 
And Jimmie's mom wants to talk to you.'


Thanks to Sandie for this story:
"I have a problem," Suzanne complained to her friend, 
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining 
that they can never reach me." 

"Don't you have a phone in your car?" asked the friend. 

"That was too expensive, so I did the next best thing. 
I put a mailbox in my car." 

"A mail box? Does that work?"

"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

"And why do you think that is?" 
Suzanne thought for a moment, then replied, 
"I figure it's because when I'm driving around, 
my zip code keeps changing." 


The first Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi 
As you may have seen on the news, it's been very cold in the 
Midwest, so cold in fact that we have borrowed a Norwegian 
Icebreaker  from Minnesota to unclog the Mississippi, starting 
near Davenport and working its way north. Here is the first 
picture of it as it begins the hard work required to break up 
the ice. 
Tom W


Norwegian Icebreaker


 

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Alen Nguyen, 22, in Winter Haven, Florida

Tried to redeem winners at same store where stole the tickets
BARTOW, Fla. (AP) - A Winter Haven man was arrested after 
authorities say he took a winning scratch-off ticket back to the store 
he had stolen it from a day earlier.

The Polk County Sheriff's Office reports that 22-year-old Alen Nguyen 
stole $70 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets from a Circle K store on 
Sunday. 

One of the tickets revealed a $50 prize.

When Nguyen went back to the store on Monday to claim the 
money, a clerk who was aware of the theft asked Nguyen for his 
driver's license and wrote down the information. 

The clerk called the authorities, and deputies went to arrest Nguyen.

He was charged with retail theft and later released on $250 bail.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Carol
Re: How do I make destop links to sites?

Dear Webby, 
how can I get links to sites I use frequently to be sent to my destop?  
I use Windows XP Service pack 3.  
Thanks! 
Carol 
 
Dear Carol
Browse to a site that you want a shortcut icon for,
then grab the little icon at the left side in the browser 
address bar, and drag it to the desktop, or to a thematic 
folder on the desktop.
That's all there is to it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Thanks to Roland for this story:
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we
were first married, you took the small piece of steak and
gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me
the smaller. You don't love me any more?"

"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook
better now."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use Bleach Water to Control Gnats
Recently our house has been overrun with gnats. I followed all your 
suggestions, nothing worked. I finally called an exterminator, he 
couldn't come but he told us to pour scalding water down every 
drain in our house and follow it up with bleach.

They said we may have to do it several times before we can see 
it is effective. We used 2 gallons of scalding hot water for each 
drain and followed up with a quart of bleach for each drain. 
I wanted to pass this along cause it is really a problem this year.
By BJ from Mid Missouri
 
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Joan had a system for labeling leftover meals in the freezer . 
She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or 
"Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and 
Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." 

Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for 
dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided 
to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes. 

So now you'll see a whole new set of labels: "Whatever", 
"Anything", "I Don't Know", "I Don't Care", "Something Good", 
or "Food" .

No more frustration for Joan, because no matter what her 
husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, 
it's there waiting.


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices
that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something
bugging you? You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life
savings in the stock market," Jill explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure
you're feeling sorry for him."
"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."






 »   River of colors


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least your
favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two seconds and
greet you properly from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend,
but don't have time to subscribe her or him,
just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them for you.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com

If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift
subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at
http://webby.com/humor/sub2.html You can also UNsubscribe there.

If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:

You are currently subscribed with this address:


Unsubscribe from the regular HTML version:
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular version

Unsubscribe from the LARGE FONT HTML version
UNSUBSCRIBE from the Large Font version

Unsubscribe from the plain text version:
UNSUBSCRIBE from the Text version

Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter