Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, Sept 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Disturbing video of a 3-year-old boy smoking marijuana 
led to the arrest of his uncle.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, September 26, in 
1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of Seoul
from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) Rest is the sweet sauce of labor. --- Plutarch (46 AD - 120 AD) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lamel Yancy, 17, North Little Rock, Arkansas c Disturbing video of a 3-year-old boy smoking marijuana led to the arrest of his uncle. Lamel Yancy, 17, was charged with endangering the welfare of a minor after he allegedly posted the video to Facebook, which police found while investigating him for a burglary charge, according to KTHV. The video shows Yancy allegedly passing the marijuana to the boy, who is sitting in the backseat of a car, and telling the child to “hit the blunt.” The boy, can be heard saying “weed” and coughing as he appeared to smoke the marijuana. Yancy can be heard laughing, saying to a woman in the car, “Hey girl, he about to smell, look he high already.” The female seated next to him, who police believe is the boy’s mother, can be heard objecting, but Yancy replies that he “will smoke more” with the 3-year-old later. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eloise RE: Bunged up mail Dear Webby, Last weekend my mom had a birthday, and we gave her a Canon camera. We had hoped to get all kinds of pictures from her, but now my mail is totally bunged up and I don't get any mail anymore. It keeps trying to download, but nothing ever arrives. We are on a fairly new desktop with W10 and on rural dial-up. What can I do to fix it? Eloiese Dear Eloise You can't. Tell your mother to stop sending you batches of 12 MB pictures. Your connection simply can't handle that. Tell her to use ANY graphics program, even the built in Microsoft PAINT (START, paint ) to shrink the pictures to about 1000 wide, or smaller, and then send them one picture at a time. In the meantime, phone your ISP and ask them to dump your email. Yes, dump it, zero it. On dial-up you probably would not be able to download it all by next Christmas. Just imagine, one hundred 12 MB pictures attached to an email! Even on 20 Mbps DSL, that would take overnight or more. If you give somebody a camera, first teach them how to shrink the pictures. Don't reduce the camera setting. Leave that at UltraFine. If you want to crop just the distant corner where grampa trips over the cat, and discard the rest of the picture, you need the fine resolution, when you expand that corner to monitor size. Just crop the finished pictures to about the size of the large click-through picture in the Dear Webby Humor Letter. Have FUN! DearWebby Eric said his company sometimes abbreviates the shipping address of their customers to make them fit on the printed labels. However, the Assembly Of God Church aparently was not amused when the label on their box displayed, "Ass Of God Church".
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon Curd Tart I make my own curd and this is the recipe from my own recipe book. Beat 2 eggs and 2 egg yolks until frothy. Gradually beat in 1/2 cup sugar until thick and pale. Mix in 1/2 cup strained lemon juice and the grated rind of 2 lemons. Cook in a heavy saucepan over a low heat and stir constantly with a wooden spoon until the mixture thickens and coats the back of the spoon. Remove from the heat and beat in 125 g chilled unsalted butter with the wooden spoon. Place in sterilized jars and refrigerate By Tandy
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A student from MSU was traveling North on I-15 when she spotted a hitchiker. He was pretty good-looking, so she decided she'd pick him up. They started the usual chit-chat, and she turned on the charm. Things were going well and she thought sure he'd ask her on a date soon, but then somehow he let it slip that he was a convict on the run. "What were you in prison for?" she asked. "I murdered my wife and children," he cooly responded. Without a moment's hesitation, she added hopefully, "oh, so you're single...?"
Kitten massage
____________________________________________________ A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are yore cats aroond here?" ____________________________________________________ The shoe dealer was interviewing a potential salesman. "Suppose," he said, "a lady customer were to remark while you were trying to fit her, 'Don't you think one of my feet is bigger than the other?' What would you say?" "I would say, 'On the contrary, Ma'am, one is smaller than the other.'" "The job is yours." ____________________________________________________
The two colored rivers in Germany
____________________________________________________

Today on September 26 in
1777 Philadelphia was occupied by British troops during the
American Revolutionary War. 

1908 In "The Saturday Evening Post" an ad for the Edison
Phonograph appeared. 

1914 The U.S. Federal Trade Commission was established. 

1918 During World War I, the Meuse-Argonne offensive against
the Germans began. It was the final Allied offensive on the
western front. 

1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of Seoul
from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 

1955 The New York Stock Exchange suffered its worst decline
since 1929 when the word was released concerning U.S.
President Eisenhower's heart attack. 

1960 The first televised debate between presidential
candidates Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy took place in
Chicago, IL. 

1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1964 "Gilligan's Island" premiered on CBS-TV. The show aired
for the last time on September 4, 1967. 

1980 The Cuban government abruptly closed Mariel Harbor to
end the freedom flotilla of Cuban refugees that began the
previous April. 

1981 The Boeing 767 made its maiden flight in Everett, WA. 

1990 The Motion Picture Association of America announced that
it had created a new rating. The new NC17 rating was to keep
moviegoers under the age of 17 from seeing certain films. 

1991 Four men and four women began their two-year stay inside
the "Biosphere II." The project was intended to develop
technology for future space colonies. It was abandoned in
1993 when they were caught ordering in pizzas.

1996 Shannon Lucid returned to Earth after being in space for
188 days. she set a time record for a U.S. astronaut in
space
and in the world for time spent by a woman in space. 

2000 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Born-Alive
Infants Protection Act. The act states that an infant would
be considered to have been born alive if he or she is
completely extracted or expelled from the mother and breathes
and has a beating heart and definite movement of the
voluntary muscles. 

2000 Slobodan Milosevic conceded that Vojislav Kostunica had
won Yugoslavia's presidential election and declared a runoff.
The declared runoff prompted mass protests. 

2001 In Kabul, Afghanistan, the abandoned U.S. Embassy was
stormed by protesters. It was the largest anti-Amercian
protest since the terror attacks on New York City and
Washington, DC, on September 11. The US retaliated with
misiles and bombers.

2001 Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Foreign
Minister Shimon Peres announced plans to formalize a cease-
fire and end a year of fighting in the region. 

2006 Facebook was openened to everyone at least 13 years or
older with a valid email address. 

2016  smiled.
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Have FUN !
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