Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 18, 2010

Nothing is really work 
unless you would rather be doing something else.
--- James M. Barrie

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful 
and has nobody to thank.
--- Dante Gabriel Rossetti


Late one afternoon, the Air Force guys out at Area 51 are
surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They
immediately impound the aircraft and haul the pilot into an
interrogation room.

The pilot's story is that he took off out of Las Vegas, got lost and
found the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air
Force starts a full security check on the guy and hold him
overnight. The next day they are finally convinced that the guy
really was lost and is not a spy.

They gas up his airplane, give him a terrifying "you did not see a
base"  briefing complete with threats of spending the rest of his
life in prison.

They say Vegas is that-a-way on this heading and send him off.

The next day, here comes the Cessna again. Once again the
MPs surround the plane, only this time there are two people in
the plane. The same pilot jumps out and says:
"Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane
and SHE DEMANDS to know where I was last night."


Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets
there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the
list and that no way, no how, does he belong
in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes
to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome
and tells him to make himself at home.

Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in
heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay
problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to
get your stuff."

When the little devils get to heaven they find the
gates are locked - St.Peter is having lunch - and
they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes
up with the idea that they should go over the wall
and get the luggage.

As they are climbing the wall, two little angels
see them, and one angel says to the other, "My
goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than
ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"







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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Pasquale Manfredi, 33, in Calabria, Italy

Mafia suspect caught on Facebook 
Italian police have tracked down one of the country's most-wanted 
fugitive mafia suspects - on Facebook.

Pasquale Manfredi, 33, was on Italy's 100 Most Wanted List 
and had been on the run for a year, reports The Sun.

He called himself Scarface, after the film character, and was 
accused of being one of the top figures in the 
Ndrangheta mafia.

The 33-year-old, who faces charges of murder, mafia association 
and drug trafficking, was seized in Calabria.

Officers had been tipped off that Manfredi was on Facebook and 
regularly logged on using his laptop. Using electronic surveillance 
equipment, officers managed to track Manfredi to an apartment 
in Isola Capo Rizzuto, near Crotone in southern Italy.

According to Italian newspaper La Repubblica, he was arrested 
as he tried to escape from the roof of the apartment complex.

Manfredi had more than 200 friends on his Facebook site and 
police are going through them systematically, to see if 
any of them are involved in Mafia activity or are wanted.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Bob
Re: Wants faster Internet

Dear Webby:
I currently have dial-up internet service and I am trying to 
figure out if I can get a faster internet service through a 
phone line (rather than using cable).  What are my options?  
Thanks. 
Bob

Dear Bob
AOL has never been accused of being second slowest.
Check out local ISPs, or Earthlink.net, or Comcast.net
or even Verizon. Chances are pretty good that you can get
faster dial-up and maybe even DSL. 

I get 2.4 Mbps (about 70% of 3 Mbps) DSL over the phone line
from a local ISP. And for back-up I have dial-up with Earthlink.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA;
they had just made the scientific achievement of
a lifetime.

As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne,
The head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be 
quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call 
from the President of the United States.

He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
"Mr. President," he said, grinning broadly, 
"after twelve years of hard research
and billions of dollars spent, we have finally
found intelligent life on Mars."

He listened for a second, and his smile gradually
disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could
never do it. . . yes Mr. President," and hung up
the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists
staring at him curiously.

"I have some bad news," he said, "the President
said that now that we've found intelligent life on
Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in Congress."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

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One company I worked for had an employee-suggestion
competition, the entire staff was to submit entries that
would save money for the firm.

The winner was a man in my department who suggested
we post corporate memos on bulletin boards, instead of
printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He got a
helium balloon with the company logo and one share of
stock.

A memo announcing the prize was printed and mailed out
to 200 people who walked past the bulletin board every
day.


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

An elderly couple was watching television one evening.
"I am going to get a dish of ice cream now," the wife said.
Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his
wife.

"I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.

"I won't forget," the old gent said.

"But, I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it. So, I'll write
it down," she replied.

"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied
the husband.

A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and
eggs.

His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because
you forgot the toast."






 »   Mini pets


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Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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