Tech Support Pits column from  Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994

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DearWebby is actually Helmut Morscher, the CEO of Webby, inc.

Originally the "Tech Support Pits" were reports of the funniest tech support incidents, but over the years the column gradually shifted to answering tech support questions put forward by the readers of the Dear Webby Humor Letter.

This collection of computer and web advice was started partly because readers demanded an archive, and partly because some questions were asked again and again. Each page has a different day's Tech Support Pits column.

Have FUN!
Tech Support Pits column from Dear Webby's Humor Letter of
09/30/03: Half Hour Tune-Up

Tech Support Pits:
From Harold=== Dear Webby I got promoted, my computer didn't. I found out that in large companies computers are like the balls people play with. The people on the loading dock play basket ball, the people in manufacturing play volley ball, middle management plays baseball. Now I am expected to dress funny and play golf. The computer that I inherited from my predecessor is not a golf ball. It is a lemon. If I try to run more than two programs at the same time, it locks up within a few minutes. What can I do ? Harold Dear Harold 1) Run Spybot-Search&Destroy 2) Run Diskeeper from (ONE "k" !) 3) Set the diskeeper to run whenever the screensaver comes on 4) If the screensaver displays a company logo waving around the screen, reduce the bmp file of that logo to 64 x 64 pixels (instead of hundreds or thousands of Kilobytes) 5) Move your desktop icons into folders. For example, make a folder on the C:\ drive and call it "NUM". Make a desktop shortcut to it. Drag all desktop icons that lead to numerical stuff into that folder. Do the same with "ALPH", for alphabetical stuff like word processors, contact management, etc. Older machines and machines with not enough memory really suffer if you have lots of desktop icons. Also, use small icons in the settings, and in those folders choose LIST, not Icons or Details. 6) In the folder view settings choose "Classic View". Those rounded corners and space wasting stuff on the left in the XP mode tie up a lot of memory. If you do all that, then in half an hour your computer will run more reliably and faster than if your hard drive was transferred onto a brand new computer. Have FUN DearWebby
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