Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, April 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Child rapist breaks down door to get to his victim Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 753 BC The traditional date of the foundation of Rome. Have FUN! DearWebby
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It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Adventure is just bad planning. --- Roald Amundsen (1872 - 1928)
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Abe bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Valentine's Day. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," Abe replied. "But where in the world a fake jeep I was going to find!!"
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Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Demetrio Campbell, 27, Chicago, Ill Man Accused In Rape Of Toddler Breaks Down Door To Get To Victim A Chicago-area man accused in the rape of a toddler broke down a door in order to get to the victim, prosecutors said. Demetrio Campbell, 27, faces charges of predatory criminal sexual assault and home invasion after he allegedly attacked a 4-year-old girl last week. Tandra Simonton, a spokeswoman for the Cook County State's Attorney's office, said Campbell at first tried to lure the toddler and her older sister, who were playing outside a Calumet Park home. When the girls ran inside the house and locked the door, he allegedly chased after them and kicked in the door, according to CBS News. Two other people were in the residence, and Campbell ordered one of them to get out of the house. That person left and contacted police. Unfortunately, help didn't come in time. Campbell allegedly raped the little girl in a bedroom. When police arrived, they found the suspect smoking a cigarette inside a closet. He was arrested and held without bond in Cook County Jail. Demetrio Campbell has two prior felony convictions for burglary and aggravated robbery, according to WLS. He has been ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Tech Support Pits From: Ethan Re: DOS Dear Webby Now and then you mention DOS as a Heavy Duty program, that will let you do incredible stuff. How difficult is it to learn that DOS? Ethan Dear Ethan DOS is the Disk Operating System underneath everything. If you click on START and type cmd and hit ENTER, then you get a black window with whitish text. That is the DOS command line. All the DOS commands are available there, but not in a graphical manner to click on. You have to actually read the instructions and lists of commands, and what they do. Once upon a time that is all we had. Gradually more and more niceties were built on top of that, isolating the user from the raw command line. For really fast work the raw command line is still the best by far, but you DO have to read the instructions. There are plenty of those on the net. Until you get familiar with them, just use the commands, that I or other techs tell you about. Start a "cheat sheet" with those, and eventually you will accumulate all the commands, that you actually use now and then. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Essential Oils for Smelly Shoes Put a drop of peppermint or cinnamon oil on some used dryer sheets and tuck them into athletic shoes or work boots. Great for teenage boys! Source: From my Grandson's stinky feet! By Cheryl's Mom [29] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Kim for this story: I'd had a pretty hectic day with my three-year-old. When bedtime finally came, I laid down the law: "We're getting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!" Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and I heard her say, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have moms and dads." Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR mom."
Two guys are walking through the woods when they come to a pit. The first guy says, "How deep you think this pit is?" The second guy says, "I don't know. Let's throw in a rock and listen for it to hit the bottom." They throw in a rock and listen, but they don't hear anything. The first guy says, "We need to throw in something heavy so when it hits it'll make more noise." So they find a cement block and throw it in and listen, but they still don't hear anything. The first guy says, "We need to find something really heavy, that'll make a real lot of noise when it hits bottom." So they go further into the woods, and come across an old railroad tie. They haul it back to the pit, and throw it in. They still didn't hear anything, but all of a sudden a goat comes running out the woods and leaps into the pit. The first guy says, "Well, if that wasn't the craziest damn goat I ever seen." Just then a farmer comes walking up to them and says, "You fellas seen a goat?" The first guy says, "Yes, sir. A goat just came running up and jumped right into that pit." The farmer says, "Oh, that couldn't have been my goat. I had him tied to a railroad tie."

» All Hail

Today in 
753 BC The traditional date of the foundation of Rome.
43 BC Marcus Antonius was defeated by Octavian near Modena
1526 Mongol Emperor Babur annihilated the Indian Army of 
 Ibrahim Lodi.
1649 The Maryland Toleration Act was passed, allowing all 
 freedom of worship.
1689 William III and Mary II were crowned joint king and 
 queen of England, Scotland and Ireland.
1836 General Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna at the Battle 
 of San Jacinto. This battle decided the independence of Texas.
1856 The Mississippi River was crossed by a rail train for 
 the first time (between Davenport, IA, and Rock Island, IL).
1892 The first Buffalo was born in Golden Gate Park.
1898 The Spanish-American War began.
1914 U.S. Marines occupied Vera Cruz, Mexico. The troops 
 stayed for six months.
1918 German fighter ace Manfred von Richthofen, 
 "The Red Baron," was shot down and killed during WWI.
1960 Brasilia became the capital of Brazil.
1961 The French army revolted in Algeria.
1972 Apollo 16 astronauts John Young and Charles Duke 
 explored the surface of the moon.
2009 UNESCO launched The World Digital Library. The World 
 Digital Library (WDL) is an international digital library 
 operated by UNESCO and the United States Library of Congress. 
2014  smiled.
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