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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 24

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texan Bonehead, who Assaulted Girlfriend in
Hospital Before Biting Security Guard
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their 
 purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed and
 shelved Netscape and used Microsoft Internet Explorer
 instead of Netscape. There were no more updates or
 support for Netscape after AOL bought and killed it.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money. --- Arthur Miller A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. --- John Ciardi ______________________________________________________ There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it ______________________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Kentucky Fall ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Johnson, 23 Corpus Christie Texas Texan Bonehead Assaulted Girlfriend in Hospital Before Biting Security Guard A man in Corpus Christi, Texas, is behind bars after allegedly assaulting his girlfriend in a hospital while she was recovering from giving birth. The suspect, Matthew Johnson, 23, is also accused of biting a security guard who tried to remove him from Christus Spohn Hospital South. The alleged attack happened Tuesday after his 25-year-old girlfriend went to the nursery to see her child. When she returned, Johnson allegedly accused her of sleeping with hospital staff members and began punching her in the back of the head, according to KIII TV. Hospital staff and two security guards heard the ruckus and tried to remove Johnson from the premises, KZTV reports. The suspect allegedly refused and during an ensuing scuffle, police said Johnson bit a 56-year-old security guard on the thigh, breaking skin, according to the Corpus Christi Caller Times. Johnson was arrested for family violence assault and assault of a security officer, a third-degree felony. He was jailed in lieu of $11,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Courtenay Re: Can't get cards Dear Webby! Hi again. I used Actioncat many times in the past with no problem with my yahoo account. Tonight I sent on from my gmail address to a gmail address and still nothing. There is no way to contact the person running the site... do you think it's more a website issue or still an email issue? Sent from my iPhone Dear Courtenay Meow! For Tester only! Tester sent you a postcard from Action Cat. To pick it up, just click on the link below: It works fine for me. Maybe your phone thinks you are a yahoo, or maybe you logged onto the net via Yahoo. Actioncat sends out the card pick-up notices to whatever you specified as the recipient address. Actioncat does not care what you specified. If there is any censoring, it is at the recipient end. Some days, when the card sending is hectic, it may take up to ten minutes until your card pick-up notice arrives, but it WILL arrive, unless there is censoring at your end. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A wealthy executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy I kicked out in Buffalo!"
Daily tip from Bagel Slicer for Vegetables I constantly need to slice veggies like zucchini, eggplant and onions thinly for recipes and to dehydrate. Finally today I realized I could use the bagel slicer I received as a gift (and that I use so rarely) for this project too and make it more multifunctional! It held the onion firmly enough to get some great slices without any 'slips'! Just thought it might benefit my friends who may also have trouble slicing safely and thinly! :D By Donna [168] Look for a Borner V-Slicer. They are like a "Mandolin", but the blades are in V formation. With that you can slice veggies as thin as paper or about 3/16" thick (about the same as with your bagel slicer). The veggies or fruit are held by a computer mouse size grip to keep your hands safe, and you just slide the mouse back and forth in the tray. Works very fast! You can also cut tomatoes or potatoes or fruit into into cubes. I have used them since the 70's. The blades last about 15 years with heavy use. A paper thin slice of hot, red onion will do wonders for any hamburger or sandwich, and few people can figure out why it tastes so fresh and refreshing. This is not an ad. I just love my V-Slicer. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest tranquilizers used regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers worked?" "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied. ______________________________________________________ Anna gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket. Anna replies, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to Anna and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy section. The head stewardess asked the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replied, "My wife has the same hair color. I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".

Amphibious Machines

Today in 
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They 
 were both 14 years old. 
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published 
 "On the Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he 
 explained his theory of evolution through the process of 
 natural selection. 
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain 
 began in Tennessee. 
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed 
 fencing material. 
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric 
 self-starter for an automobile. 
1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland
 after they had staged a bloody riot. Over the next three 
 years the population dropped from 350,000 to 70,000 due 
 to starvation, disease and deportations to concentration 
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese 
 capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 
1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress 
 for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist 
 influence in their industry. 
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee 
 Harvey Oswald live on national television. 
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing 
 an end to the second manned mission to the moon. 
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted 
 from a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with 
 $200,000 in ransom. 
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six 
 Israeli prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 
 Palestinians and Lebanese held by the Israelis. 
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian 
 jetliner. 60 people died in the raid. 
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- 
 and medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower 
 treaty to eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned 
 after more than a week of protests against its policies. 
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141. 
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the 
 Brady handgun control bill. 
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) 
 were convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of 
 Liverpool, England. They were both sentenced to 
 "indefinite detention". and released after five years. 
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a 
 constitutional amendment legalizing divorce. 
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their 
 purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed and
 shelved Netscape and used Microsoft Internet Explorer
 instead of Netscape. There were no more updates or
 support for Netscape after AOL bought and killed it.
2014  smiled.
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