Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 30

Happy Canada Day tomorrow! 
Have you got your fireworks? 
In most towns there are public fireworks set off
by professionals. The organized towns have information 
about that on their web site. Ours doesn't.

Check your local bylaws! In many places fireworks 
within town limits are illegal. People set them off anyway,
keeping a watchful eye out for the bylaw cops parading
around in their Chrysler Chargers. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Mom busted for hitting daughter who flushed her pot Details at Boneheads Today in 1908 A meteor explosion in Siberia knocked down trees in a 40-mile radius and struck people unconscious some 40 miles away. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius. --- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930) People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. --- Socratex Man who sink into womans arms soon have arms in womans sink. --- Confucius "Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage." --- H.L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Witte We left the ship at high tide, for a visit to the entertainment section of the island. Later that day, ( tides out ) we returned to the ship, and my companion said, This isn't our ship, ours was much taller. ______________________________________________________ Ted decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Ted begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side off the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up his frail grip, Ted leaps away from the horse to try to throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the stirrup and he is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground again and again. As his head is battered against the ground, he is mere moments away from unconsciousness when ... the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through to the big picture Silvretta Lake, an artificial power dam lake at 9000 ft level. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kyle Mullane, 46, Vero Beach, Floriduh
Mom busted for hitting daughter who flushed her pot JUNE 29--A Florida woman battered her daughter after the teenager discovered her mother’s marijuana stash and flushed the pot down the toilet, cops allege. According to an arrest affidavit, Ashley Mullane, 18, last night found the weed on a counter when she went into the kitchen of her family’s Vero Beach home to get a drink. Mullane told cops that she “believed that it belonged to her mother, Kyle Mullane, so she flushed it down the toilet.” When Mullane, 46, saw her child disposing of the pot, she got in the teen’s face and “began to yell at her... and calling her names.” After Ashley told her mother to back off and threatened to dial 911, “her mother slapped her in the face,” investigators report. During police questioning, Kyle Mullane denied striking her daughter, though she acknowledged that the teen “did flush her weed down the toilet.” Mullane added, however, that “it was no big deal because she would just go out and get more.” Since Mullane has a prior domestic battery conviction, she was charged with a felony for hitting her daughter. Mullane’s rap sheet includes prior collars for theft, trespass, and disorderly intoxication.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Megan Re: Attachments Dear Webby How many pictures can I attach to email without having to zip them up? Megan Dear Megan That depends on the size of the pictures and the mail program you use, and your provider. If they are huge originals, send four or less. If they are smaller, then you can send more. Check with the recipient to find out if they got them, and if necessary, send fewer. You can also use DropBox and upload the pictures onto the cloud. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A couple of Redneck hunters in the rural south are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?" ______________________________________________________ At a session with a marriage counselor, the prim English wife snapped at her husband: "That's not true ! I do so enjoy sex !" Then, turning to the counselor, she explained: "But this blimey bloke expects it four or five times a year !" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Warm Leather to Remove Smoke Odor Here is what I did: I heated up the leather article in the oven! My idea is that the tobacco smell arrived by heat and through the air, so maybe it can depart again the same way. To do this, I put the leather item into the oven at the lowest setting (150 degrees F) for about an hour and a half. I opened the oven (and the outside door of the kitchen) several times along the way to let the newly-evaporated tobacco tars and oils escape. And it worked. It worked really well. About 95% of the tobacco smell was gone. There was no detectable "drying out" effect on the natural oils in the leather at all. If there had been, I would have applied replacement oils from a bottle of leather conditioner that I already owned. Hurrah! I'm posting in the hope that this will help someone else with the same problem. By Garry W [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A farmer named O'Rourke lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on... After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so O'Rourke went to the parish priest: "Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the poor creature?" Father Michael replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." O'Rourke said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Michael jumped up: "Now, now... why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?" _____________________________________________________ Brother Smith called his bishop and said: "I know today is General Conference but, the 49'ers are in the playoffs. Bishop I am a long- time fan. I've got to watch the 49'ers game on TV." The bishop responds: Brother, that's what VCR's are for." Brother Smith is surprised. "You mean I can tape General Conference?" ____________________________________________________
I like these much better in color.

Today in 
1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum. 
1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train.
1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross 
 Niagara Falls on a tightrope. 
1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for 
 Japanese aid. 
1908 A meteor explosion in Siberia knocked down trees in 
 a 40-mile radius and struck people unconscious some 
 40 miles away. 
1912 Belgian workers went on strike to demand universal 
 suffrage. 
1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and 
 Spain. It was the beginning of the Second Balkan War. 
1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended 
 when the French failed to take Vimy Ridge. U.S. President 
1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, 
 the British deputy for Northern Ireland. 
1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany’s Rhineland. 
1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the 
 SA and bringing to power the SS in the "Night of the 
 Long Knives." 
1935 Fascists caused an uproar at the League of Nations 
 when Haile Selassie of Ethiopia speaks. 
1936 Margaret Mitchell’s book, "Gone with the Wind," 
 was published. 
1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into 
 Korea and authorizes the draft. 
1951 On orders from Washington, General Matthew Ridgeway 
 broadcasts that the United Nations was willing to discuss 
 an armistice with North Korea. 
1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly 
 line in Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250. 
1955 The U.S. began funding West Germany’s rearmament. 
1957 The American occupation headquarters in Japan was 
 dissolved. 
1960 The Katanga province seceded from Congo (upon Congo's 
 independence from Belgium). 
1964 The last of U.N. troops left Congo after a four-year 
 effort to bring stability to the country. 
1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The 
 three cosmonauts were found dead inside. 
1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition 
 to the B-1 bomber. 
1985 Yul Brynner left his role as the King of Siam after 
 4,600 performances in "The King and I." 
1986 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that states could 
 outlaw homosexual acts between consenting adults. 
1994 The U.S. Figure Skating Association stripped Tonya 
 Harding of the 1994 national championship and banned her 
 from the organization for life for an attack on rival 
 Nancy Kerrigan. 
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill 
 to give the same legal validity to an electronic signature 
 as a signature in pen and ink. 
2004 The international Cassini spacecraft entered Saturn's 
 orbit. The craft had been on a nearly seven-year journey. 
2015  smiled.
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