Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 24
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Gym teacher charged with 30 counts of statutory rape Details at Boneheads Today, in 1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. The big American sugar and fruit companies are still in a snit about that.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. --- Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005) A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. --- Edmond de Goncourt (1822 - 1896)
My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing. One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could. After a while he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than a full minute! Next, he started putting potatoes in the sacks.
Joe was sitting at the bar, sunk in misery. The bartender said, "You look awful, pal. What's your problem." Joe stared into his drink and said, "I'm tired of being a social outcast. I'm with the circus, you see, and clean up the animal cages. Well, it's not the most wonderful smell in the world and because of it people avoid me. It's not fair!" "I see what you mean," the bartender sniffed. "But I've got an idea. There are openings down at the factory. They are regular hours and it probably pays better than the circus. Why don't you apply?" "What!" asked Joe, a bit offended, "And leave show business?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD Megan Mahoney, 24, New York City, NY Gym teacher charged with 30 counts of statutory rape A basketball coach and gym teacher at a prestigious New York City high school faces statutory rape charges for her alleged sex abuse of a male student. Megan Mahoney, 24, was arrested Monday for allegedly having regular sexual contact with the same 16-year-old student over a period of more than two months beginning in late October 2013, the Staten Island Advance reports. She faces 30 counts of statutory rape in the case. Mahoney romped with the teen “on numerous occasions, that is at least two times per week during the period,” court papers claim. She also was charged with four counts of “criminal sexual act” because of mutual oral sex that she and the boy allegedly engaged in “at least two times per month during said period.” In January, Mahoney resigned from Moore Catholic High School in Staten Island, where she taught gym and was an assistant coach for the women's basketball team. Investigators said that some of the encounters happened on school grounds. In August, the victim told the New York Post that the illicit relationship began shortly after Mahoney allegedly approached him in the gym and offered to coach him in basketball. “We would just drive around and [do it] in the car,” the boy, whose name was withheld, told the newspaper. Richard Postiglione, the Moore's athletic director, was also investigated for allegedly failing to report sex abuse accusations against Mahoney and another female teacher at the school. Before she was a coach, Mahoney was also a student athlete, playing basketball for Fordham University and Wagner College. Tech Support Pits Ophelia forwarded this to me. One of her subscribers had a problem and she was able to solve it nicely. From: JH Re: About Blank One question, this just started yesterday. When I click on the gravity60 to see the cutie of the day, I also get a window opening from internet explorer "about blank." Is this a bug on my end? I don't use ie at all, just wondering. Thanks for all, jh Hi Jim That is due to an "About Blank" hijacker, that you got probably as an included freebie when some nitwit family member downloaded something. Dear Webby wrote about that one about half a year ago. It is nasty shit, and some variants of that hijacker include a Trojan, that opens a back door. Try using that MalwareBytes, that Dear Webby has on the TOP of his side menu. For a good reason! They have a free version. Use it as soon as possible. With that back door open and your ass sticking out, ANYBODY can screw you in the ass and not only copy what you got, but put stuff onto your machine! It might be a good idea to TOTALLY restrict access to your computer and threaten dire consequences to anybody downloading ANYTHING. Yes, absolutely ANYTHING! Even innocent looking stuff like cutesy clocks come bundled with very nasty shit! Good Luck! Ophelia Due to your help, I've got it. many thanks. jh The picture of Jim with old style full length underwear with button-down rear flap open is priceless! But she is right, when a trojan controls your machine, YOU have no control over what goes on. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two poets, who had been bitter rivals, met each other on a street corner. Naturally the old rivalry resumed itself. "You know, " said the first poet, "since we last met, my readership has increased!" "Oh congratulations!" the second poet replied. "I didn't know you got married!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Replace Lights On Christmas Wire Deer If you have lights on your wire lawn deer that stop working, don't toss the deer in the garbage, just change out the lights. Take a strand of 100 white wire lights and replace the old lights. It's time consuming putting all new lights on, but it's a lot less $ than going out and buying all new deer, and it's a good way to recycle also. By CDC from FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

GROAN ALERT! A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown. One day the mechanic was working on a car in his backyard and dropped his wrench losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him so he decided to call it a day. That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning, the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened, he looked up to the heavens and sang out loudly, proclaiming... (Are you ready for this?) "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me!"
In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child: "You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again."
A stewardess was getting very annoyed by three little children on the plane. They had been bugging her since take-off, complaining that they were hungry or bored or tired or thirsty or needed to go to the bathroom or whatever else you could imagine a small child commenting on and complaining about. Well, the stewardess had had enough. The next time the children said that they were bored, the stewardess told them to go play outside.


Deep Snow & High Fences




Today in 
1648 - The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the 
 Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years War. 
1795 The country of Poland was divided up between Austria, 
 Prussia, and Russia. 
1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous 
 friction safety match. 
1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent 
 when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a 
 telegram to U.S. President Lincoln. 
1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to 
 go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years old. 
1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million shares 
 on the stock market. The day is known as "Black Tuesday." 
1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened 
 for traffic between New York and New Jersey. 
1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first 
 time in Wilmington, DE. 
1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under 
 the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. 
1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less 
 than a month after the end of World War II. 
1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was 
 nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and 
 foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. 
 The big American sugar and fruit companies are still in a 
 snit about that.
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces 
 went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation 
 for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The 
 U.S. blockade of Cuba officially began on this day. 
1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 
 69-carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton 
 presented the ring to Taylor several days later. 
1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian 
 was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the 
 trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the 
 attack on the Israeli jetliner. 
1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to 
 win the World Series. 
2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation 
 that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all 
 of a person's telephone conversation and track people's use 
 of the Internet. 
2001 The U.S. stamp "United We Stand" was dedicated. 
2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered 
 orbit around Mars. 
2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the release 
 of an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney content. 
2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde 
 flight landed.
2014  smiled.
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