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Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday,  August 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Woman responsible for previous DWI Death Arrested For Third DWI This Summer Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom:

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Today, in A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors. --- William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954) A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. --- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. --- Don Marquis
>From Lillemor Hey, I just read that the reason they are not arresting any LOOTERS in Ferguson is because Eric Holder's Justice Department has reclassified them. They are not LOOTERS anymore. They are now UNDOCUMENTED SHOPPERS The following items have NOT been stolen by the looters in Ferguson: Pens, pencils, resume kits, work boots, work gloves, work coveralls, father’s day cards and books.
>From Moe Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Wow Ron, how long you been here? How did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie. She said she had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!! She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want." So . . . . here I am!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jo Jackson, 53, FAYETTEVILLE, AR Woman responsible for previous DWI Death Arrested For Third DWI This Summer Jo Jackson, a Fayetteville woman previously convicted in a DWI death was arrested Sunday for the third time this summer on suspicion of driving while intoxicated, according to the Fayetteville Police Department. Jo Jackson, 53, was arrested Sunday afternoon on suspicion of several misdemeanor charges, including DWI, reckless driving, expired vehicle licensing and driving on a suspended license. A preliminary arrest report states she had a .21 blood-alcohol level at the time of her arrest. Her arraignment is set for Sept. 22, according to the report. Police on Sunday responded near College Avenue and Cleburn Street in reference to a vehicle that was swerving and stopping in the middle of the lanes meant for oncoming traffic, according to a preliminary report. An officer stopped the vehicle, but Jackson, the driver, had no license to give him, the report states. The reporting officer said he could smell alcohol on Jackson, and her speech was slurred. Also, the license plate on her vehicle expired in April, the preliminary report states. Jackson failed a field sobriety test, even though she was wearing pants this time, and officers found an open, half full bottle of Sutter Home wine in the vehicle’s center console, according to the report. Jackson’s license was suspended after she was convicted in the September 2011 death of veteran Fayetteville road worker Jackie Luper, 51, on Joyce Boulevard. She told officers she had taken prescription medications prior to the incident. Her 12-year-old daughter was in the car at the time, officials said. Following her negligent homicide conviction in June 2012, Jackson received a sentence of time served and was sentenced to no further jail or prison time, according to court records. She was also sentenced to 12 months of probation, which she fulfilled in June 2013, records show. The city renamed the section of Joyce Boulevard from College Avenue to Crossover Road the honorary Jack Luper Boulevard. Jackson was arrested Aug. 8 in a separate instance on suspicion of DWI, driving on a suspended license, reckless driving, having no proof of insurance and violating implied consent. She later posted a $2,000 bond out of the Washington County Detention Center, according to the Sheriff’s Office. Her arraignment in that case is set for Sept. 5. During that incident, police said Jackson admitted to drinking half a bottle of wine and taking Hydrocodone and Adavan prescription medications. Open wine containers were also found in the vehicle, the preliminary report states. Jackson failed a field sobriety test and was arrested and transported to jail, police said. Prior to that arrest, Jackson was also arrested June 8 on suspicion of DWI. The arresting officer in the case said she was not wearing pants or underwear during the field sobriety test. Jackson was booked into jail and released several hours later on $1,780 bond, according to the Sheriff’s Office. She's driving again. Tech Support Pits From: Len Re: PayPal expiring? Dear Webby Got this: Subject: We inform you that your Account PayPal expires in less than 48 hours From: service@intl.PayPal.com Is this for real or another scam? PLMK. Thanks. Len Dear Len Typical scam. Delete it and forget it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Artificial Plants and Flowers I spray Febreze generously onto the whole flower/foliage arrangement, tree, etc. This works just as well as commerical cleaners made specifically for silk flowers. Just spray, no wiping necessary. And you can choose the scent (or no scent) of your choice. By 2ndsight [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Rosie When my husband was a student at Tennessee Temple University, I often asked him to do errands after class, tying ribbons on his fingers to remind him. A good sport, he didn't protest, even though his classmates obviously noticed my little reminders. One day he had to have a mole removed from above his ear and emerged from the doctor's office with his head wrapped in a white bandage. When he walked into class, everyone just stared. Finally one student blurted out, "Whatever your wife wants you to remember today, it must be REALLY important."
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class: "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," he continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."

» Campfire Photos

Today in 
1146 European leaders outlawed the crossbow. 
1645 American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty at 
 New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later became known as New York. 
1682 William Penn sailed from England and later established 
 the colony of Pennsylvania in America. 
1780 General Benedict Arnold secretly promised to surrender 
 the West Point fort to the British army. 
1809 Charles Doolittle Walcott first discovered fossils 
 near Burgess Pass. He named the site Burgess Shale after 
 nearby Mt. Burgess. 
1862 The Confederates defeated Union forces at the second 
 Battle of Bull Run in Manassas, VA. 
1941 During World War II, the Nazis severed the last 
 railroad link between Leningrad and the rest of the 
 Soviet Union. 
1945 General Douglas MacArthur set up Allied occupation 
 headquarters in Japan. 
1951 The Philippines and the United States signed a 
 defense pact. 
1956 In Louisianna, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway opened. 
1960 A partial blockade was imposed on West Berlin by 
 East Germany. 
1963 The "Hotline" between Moscow and Washington, DC, 
 went into operation. 
1982 P.L.O. leader Yasir Arafat left Beirut for Greece. 
1991 The Soviet republic of Azerbaijan declared independence
1994 Rosa Parks was robbed and beaten by Joseph Skipper. 
 Parks was known for her refusal to give up her seat on a 
 bus in 1955, which sparked the civil rights movement. 
1994 The largest U.S. defense contractor was created when 
 the Lockheed and Martin Marietta corporations agreed 
 to a merger. 
1996 An expedition to raise part of the Titanic failed when 
 the nylon lines being used to raise part of the hull snapped. 
1999 The residents of East Timor overwhelmingly voted for 
 independence from Indonesia. The U.N. announced the result 
 on September 4.
2014  smiled.
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