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Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 3

Dad told me on Skype today that the migrant problem in 
Austria is getting worse. He lives in the westernmost 
province, where they allocate 2 homes to migrants per
1000 people of population. In the East apparently they
are whining about being expected to provide 1.5/1000.

On their eastern border, where traffic is coming in from 
Hungaria, they are now stopping all trucks and checking 
them. Today they stopped one, that was welded shut. 
The Romanian drivers of course were instantly arrested 
when the welds were spotted, and will face very dire 
consequences. 

When they got a mechanic to grind open the welds, they 
found over twenty half dead Pakistanis in the truck. 

In Budapest, Hungaria, there are apparently about 4000
migrants waiting for a seat on a train through Austria 
to Germany. With no washrooms or toilets for the 4000
people, it is getting rather smelly there. Hungaria
allows only people with passports or some reasonably
legit ID to board the trains. Apparently that is the law.
No border crossing for NON-EU people without ID,
and each country is obligated to protect the next one 
from terrorists and NON-EU migrants without ID.

Once the migrants get to Austria, they get fed and have
washroom facilities before re-boarding the trains to 
continue on to Germany. That slow-down gives Germany a 
chance to haul the migrants away from Munich and to 
different towns.

The goals of most of the migrants apparently are to get
a residency permit in Germany, and with that hop a  train
to England, where they are told Welfare is the most generous. 

Surprisingly, most of the "economic refugees" have large 
amounts of money with them, but are very reluctant to show 
any ID.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman busted for DUI, carrying dope, and trying to bribe 3 cops with sex offers. Details at Boneheads Today, September 3, in 1967 Swedish motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road and began driving on the right side. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. --- Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. --- Lily Tomlin (1939 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Today, September 3, in 1967 Swedish motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road and began driving on the right side. The same as every year, some British TV station interviewed Ole in Minnesota for advice on how to handle the eventual switch. Ole advised them to do it gradually. During the first week they should switch the trucks to drive on the right side, the second week they should switch buses, third week SUVs and in the fourth week they should switch the cars and bikes. They thought that was a pretty good idea and perfectly suited to the British way of driving. Ole had to end the interview rather suddenly. Something about needing a hernia transplant. ______________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: A Hermit crab walking across Mikels patio. In Hillsboro Beach FL. ______________________________________________________ While shopping for vacation clothes, a husband and wife passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since she had even considered buying a bathing suit, so she sought her husband's advice. "What do you think?" she asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arielle Engert, 24, Clearwater, Florida
Florida woman busted for DUI, carrying dope, and trying to bribe 3 cops with sex offers. In a bid to dodge DUI and drug charges, a 24-year-old Floridian allegedly offered to perform sex acts upon three separate cops, solicitations that were rejected and resulted in bribery charges being filed against the woman. According to cops, Arielle Engert was pulled over at 2:48 AM yesterday when her car was spotted weaving on a Clearwater street. Engert was subsequently arrested after failing a series of field sobriety tests and registering a blood alcohol content at twice the legal limit. Engert, seen above, was also charged with marijuana possession after a small amount of pot was found in her purse. After being transported to the county jail, Engert allegedly told Deputy Brian Sudbrink that she would perform fellatio and “other sex acts” if he would not charge her for the two misdemeanors. As Engert was being processed into jail, a small bag of cocaine was located inside her bra. As a result, she was charged with narcotics possession and introduction of contraband into a detention facility, both felonies. The discovery of the cocaine allegedly prompted Engert to offer deputies Obed Munoz and Eric Biddle the identical sexual services that were proffered to Sudbrink. The illicit offers to the law enforcement personnel led to the filing of three separate bribery counts against Engert. Engert, whose rap sheet includes prior collars for drunk driving and possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, was freed from custody early today after posting $5150 bond. According to Engert’s Facebook page, she is studying philosophy at the University of Florida.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Eudora stalls Dear Webby, Now I have a problem that started today. When I attempt to retrieve mail in Eudora, I get to the point where the "envelope" appears in the lower right corner of the screen. Then the program hangs. It won't respond to anything, even pressing the red shut down button. My only recourse is to close Eudora using "Task Manager" or rebooting the computer. I have done nothing today that could cause a problem. Thanks again for your help, you always come through for me. All the best. Bill Dear Bill Clean out your Eudora Trash, trim down the INbox and the OUTbox to the bare minimum. Do a bit of house-cleaning in there. Check which of your filters are as obsolete as previous mistresses, and dump them. The problem is that you IN, OUT and TRASH are using more memory than you got free. Running CrapCleaner might help, but is not really a solution. The solution is to weed out the three prime mailboxes. Have FUN! DearWebby So far so good. I followed your instructions and Eudora is behaving like the young lady that I have become used to. Thanks once again for your help. Bill _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver!" the passenger screamed,"Are you trying to get us both killed?" "Relax,lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Beach Bag as a Shopping Bag This week, at a garage sale, I paid $1 for a large, sturdy beach bag, which I took home, laundered, and dried, in the sun. Now, it holds all my other re-usable shopping bags, and it, itself, is the largest, sturdiest shopping bag of all. Next time I'm at my local thrift store, I'll look for more bags that can be used as shopping carry-alls. By VBartlett [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, and skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $49.95." ___________________________________________________

power of concentration
____________________________________________________ A new convert to Catholicism decided to go to confession to deal with his transgression. In the confessional, he told the priest that he had sinned. "What was your sin, my son?" asked the priest. "I stole some lumber, Father," replied the man. "How much lumber did you steal?" asked the priest. "Father, I built my German Shepherd dog a nice new doghouse." The priest replied, "Well, that's not so bad." The man continued, "Father, I also built myself a 4- car garage." "Well, now, that's a little more serious." "Father, there's more. In addition to the doghouse, the 4-car garage, I also built a 5 bedroom, 4 bath house!" With a pause, the priest finally spoke. "That is a little more serious. I'm afraid you'll have to make a novena." "Father, I'm not sure what a novena is, but if you've got the blueprints, I've got the lumber!" --------- (Novena is a huge set of 9 sequences of prayers) ____________________________________________________
Jane Long colorizes old black and white photos and adds a surreal twist to them. You can see the full photos by clicking on them and use the arrows to view as a slide show.

Today, Sept 2, in
1189 England's King Richard I was crowned in Westminster. 
1783 The Revolutionary War between the U.S. and Great Britain 
 ended with the Treaty of Paris. 
1833 The first successful penny newspaper in the U.S., "The New York Sun,"
 was launched by Benjamin H. Day. 
1935 Sir Malcolm Campbell became the first person to drive an automobile 
 over 300 miles an hour. He reached 304.331 MPH on the Bonneville Salt 
 Flats in Utah. 
1939 British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, in a radio broadcast, 
 announced that Britain and France had declared war on Germany. Germany 
 had walked into Poland on September 1. 
1943 Italy was invaded by the Allied forces during World War II. 
1954 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the final time after 
 2,956 episodes over a period of 21 years. 
1966 The television series "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" ended 
 after 14 years. 
1967 Nguyen Van Thieu was elected president of South Vietnam under a 
 new constitution. 
1967 In Sweden, motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road 
 and began driving on the right side. 
1976 The U.S. spacecraft Viking 2 landed on Mars. The unmanned spacecraft 
 took the first close-up, color photos of the planet's surface. 
1981 David Brinkley left NBC News after 38 years to join with ABC. 
1981 Egypt arrested more than 1,500 opponents of the government. 
1986 Peat Marwick International and Klynveld Main Goerdeler of the 
 Netherlands agreed to merge and form the world’s largest accounting firm. 
1989 The U.S. began shipping military aircraft and weapons, worth 
 $65 million, to Columbia in its fight against drug lords. 
1994 Russia and China announced that they would no longer be targeting 
 nuclear missiles or using force against each other. 
1999 Mario Lemieux's ownership group officially took over the National 
 Hockey League's Pittsburgh Penguins. Lemieux became the first player 
 in the modern era of sports to buy the team he had once played for. 
2013 Hunters in Mississippi caught a 727-pound alligator. 
2015  smiled.
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