Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Again voted Best Newsletter, now 14 years in a row!
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and Joke List and is available in regular HTML and also in large font HTML for vision challenged readers.
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Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 29.

Today I have the final check-up after the cataract 
operation, and tomorrow I am scheduled for injections 
into my eyeballs, IF health care pays for that, even
though I am 65. If they want $5,000 or a significant 
portion of that, I'll have to pass.
Either way, Thursday to Saturday there most likely
won't be any newsletters.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a South Carolina woman who stabbed her roommate for refusing to stop listening to the Eagles Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a new planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. --- Henry Kissinger (1923 - ) Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
On a Cathay Pacific 747 in Taipei, the following announcement was heard over the cabin PA system: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are overbooked and are offering anyone $1,000 plus a seat on the next flight in exchange for their seat on this flight." After a short pause, the offer was repeated with the amendment that it did not apply to the crew assigned to the flight.
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know you love Wowser, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?" The boy thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Doreen was here!"
Click on the picture for the large version Prunerov, CZ, coal fired power plant in Czech Republic.
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Vernett Bader, North Charleston, SC South Carolina, 54, woman who stabbed her roommate for refusing to stop listening to the Eagles Police in South Carolina arrested a North Charleston woman Monday night after she allegedly stabbed her roommate multiple times for refusing to stop playing music by the classic rock band The Eagles. According to the official report, Vernett Bader, 54, became irritated with her 64-year-old roommate (and one-time boyfriend) after he rejected her pleas to turn off the Eagles and told her to "shut up." Bader then entered the kitchen and grabbed a serrated knife, which she subsequently used to stab her roommate several times in the arm, hand, and elbow. The roommate and his brother managed to wrestle the knife away from Bader, but she quickly retrieved another knife from the kitchen. All three were intoxicated at the time, per the report. It's unclear which of the band's songs drove Bader over the edge, but police have narrowed down the possible suspects to "Witchy Woman," "Take It Easy," "Peaceful Easy Feeling," "Take It to the Limit," "One of These Nights," "Tequila Sunrise," and "Hotel California" on repeat. Bader confessed to the crime, but claimed it was an act of self-defense to counter her roommate's choking. Investigators say Bader did not have any visible marks on her neck. Police charged Bader with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature and she was booked into the Charleston County jail, where she remained held as of this afternoon. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Does Chrome have a Session restore? Dear Webby, I tried Chrome after you suggested it. It is indeed a lot faster than FireFox. However, it sure seems to be missing some ameninties. It is way too easy to accidentally closing it. For example, if you need to see the HTML of a page, it's CTRL U, just like in Firefox. So far so good. However, when you want to close the Code View with ALT F4, just like in FireFox, then you close Chrome and all your open tabs are GONE. VERRRY BARRRBARRRIC! I learned the hard way that I have to pay attention and close the Code View with CTRL F4 instead. When absentminded habit takes over, Chrome shuts down and forgets all the tabs. Is there some way to do a Session Restore in Chrome? Thanks Chris Dear Chris I agree that some parts of Chrome are still incompetent. Same as with Gmail, some snooty yuppies decide what is good for you. What works some of the time is to hit CTRL SHIFT T a few seconds after Chrome re-opens, and restore closed tabs. You can hit the 3 bars at the right top, Settings and change the ON STARTUP choice to "Continue where I left off" It helps most of the time, but is a bit erratic. There is a third party extension called Session Buddy, that seems to be very popular for saving your sessions. You can get it free from Session Buddy Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stopping the Burn from Spicy Food If you cook something that is very hot and spicy, I suggest that you serve it with some milk to drink with the meal. Milk products help stop the burn left in your mouth from hot, spicy food. Also, you could have ice cream or something like that for dessert! By Robin from Washington, IA Better yet is some bread. A lot of people have a lactose intolerance and can't drink milk, but even people with gluten allergies can take a bit of bread. Most of the gluten is in the crust, but it is the soft inner part, that sponges the hot stuff off the tongue. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

For best results, read this one out loud! "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble. ------ When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your seat."

» Funny Icebergs

Today in 
1588 The English defeated the Spanish Armada in the Battle 
 of Gravelines. 
1754 The first international boxing match was held. The 
 25-minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked 
 out Jean Petit from France. 
1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was 
 inaugurated when two people held a conversation between 
 New York, NY and San Francisco, CA. 
1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile 
 swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis 
 to Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes. 
1957 The International Atomic Energy Agency was established. 
1958 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration 
 (NASA) was authorized by the U.S. Congress. 
1968 Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's 
 stance against artificial methods of birth control. 
1975 OAS (Organization of American States) members voted 
 to lift collective sanctions against Cuba. The U.S. 
 government welcomed the action and announced its intention 
 to open serious discussions with Cuba on normalization. 
1981 England's Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were 
 married. 
1985 General Motors announced that Spring Hill, TN, would 
 be the home of the Saturn automobile assembly plant. 
1993 The Israeli Supreme Court acquitted retired Ohio 
 autoworker John Demjanjuk of being Nazi death camp guard 
 "Ivan the Terrible." His death sentence was thrown out 
 and he was set free. 
1997 Minamata Bay in Japan was declared free of mercury 
 40 years after contaminated food fish were blamed for 
 deaths and birth defects. 
1998 The United Auto Workers union ended a 54-day strike 
 against General Motors. The strike caused $2.8 billion 
 in lost revenues. 
2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a 
 new planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
2014  smiled.
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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
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