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Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri intruder arrested for sleeping in an unused bedroom Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 9, in 1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago to Bison, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there! Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?" The customer replied: "That's close enough." ______________________________________________________ New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check. The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I take a check from you ? I don't even know you !" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gregory Trent Cole 53, WENTZVILLE, Mo.
Partially-clothed intruder found sleeping in child's unused bedroom A 53-year-old man has been charged with burglary and harassment after he was found asleep in an empty bedroom of someone else's Missouri home. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports Gregory Trent Cole was charged Monday. Authorities say Cole entered a home in the St. Louis suburb of Wentzville and went into a bedroom early Sunday while the people who lived in the home were in another room. They say he removed some of his clothes and went to sleep. Police say the man was discovered around 8 a.m., wearing only underwear and a shirt. Cole was taken to the St. Charles County Jail, where he is jailed on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ginger Re: IE malfunction Dear Webby Ctrl/Alt/up arrow worked to get the screen right side up. Now I'm getting a message when I try to sign in with Internet Explorer: "There is a problem with this website's security certificate" no matter what site I try to sign in to.... any idea what's going on? Thank you, Ginger Dear Ginger Internet Exploder is obsolete, and not secure enough. Dump it. Use Chrome, or at least FireFox. I have not used Internet Exploder for many years and have no idea how to fix it's problems. Good Luck! DearWebby Thanks Webby - I DID switch to Chrome and it's working fine. Glad we have you for a resource person! Ginger _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said. turned the shredder on, and with a flourish bowed out of the way. As the CEO inserted the paper, the motor inside whirred to live and pulled the paper in. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Treating Dry Cracked Heels A major cause of dry cracked heels in women comes after menopause. Hormonal changes are a major culprit. All of our glands are changing. The oil glands slow down oil production. There isn't much you can do except for diligent care. There are a few excellent exfoliate files made especially for feet. Pumice stones work for the younger crowd, but not for us. Cheap Dollar Store foot scrapers don't work. Go to a beauty supply and get a good brand foot exfoliater and foot cream. Diligence is the major key to keeping your heels soft like they were in your teens. It is possible. Make it a nightly regime; file (exfoliate) and cream every night! By hopeful [27] The same happens with men too, especially if they are getting close to heart or diabetes problems. I found best for getting rid of dry calloused skin on the feet and elbows, yes, it affects them too, is the flexible sanding mesh sold for gyprock (sheet rock, drywall) work. It is a flexible mesh, that does not clog up or build up. Just shake it when done, and it is clean again, ready for next time. You can get it at Home Depot and similar places for $3 - $5 for a pack of 5. Keep one, give away the rest. After sanding I use a little dab of baby oil. Not as fancy on the outside of the bottle, but does the job quite nicely. Just once a week is enough for me now. No more cracked and painfully infected heels, but soft and flexible skin. If you got thick and hard callouses, that have started to crack and the cracks "swallow" sock lint and infect, you should go to a pedicurist to clean out the cracks and glue them. Believe it or not, when the cracks are cleaned out and disinfected, they can be glued shut with crazy glue. That allows them to heal in record time. However, a weekly sanding and oiling should become a habit, once that excessive skin growth on heels and soles, and elbows, has started. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing." ___________________________________________________

Asi se crea un mosaico pieza a pieza Personally, I think this is so cool! All the handwork involved.
____________________________________________________ "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then , why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing all by yourself." ____________________________________________________ 1... Avoid alliteration. Always. 2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) 4... Employ the vernacular. 5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 8... Contractions aren't necessary 9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 10.. One should never generalize. 11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14.. Profanity sucks. 15.. Be more or less specific. 16.. Understatement is always best. 17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20.. The passive voice is to be avoided. 21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 23.. Who needs rhetorical questions? ____________________________________________________
Sculptures by Lorenzo Quinn, son of Actor Anthony Quinn.

Today, October 9, in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished 
 from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against 
 punishments for religious offenses and giving away land 
 that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded 
 Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek 
 religious freedom. 
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered 
 in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is 
 now San Francisco, CA. 
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary 
 War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led 
 by George Washington, defeated the British troops under 
 Lord Cornwallis. 
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two 
 British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, 
 and St. Louis, MO, began. 
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with 
 the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later 
 became Montgomery Wards. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their 
 longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 
1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 
1919 The Cincinnati Reds won the World Series. The win would be 
 later tainted when 8 Chicago White Sox were charged with 
 throwing the game. The incident became known as the 
 "Black Sox" scandal. 
1935 "Cavalcade of America" was first broadcast on CBS radio. 
1936 The first generator at Hoover Dam began transmitting 
 electricity to Los Angeles, CA. 
1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. 
 The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 
1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The 
 Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an UFO. 
 The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited 
 the city of Voronzh. 
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in 
 response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and 
 hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in 
 Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring 
 a hundred. 
2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his 
 father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing 
 him to number 9. 
2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made 
 Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing 
 Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water 
 had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 
2015  smiled.
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